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Tk gift of 












taSrtttonKua, y 









Jbr JUi Aijit, a^ «■ * l« «U*af lb 4^ fc iWto 
" H^A^LMt. 4101. f>ter adi. in l«Oi,"UlK !«<• 



'OU J>l^ ToL UL 

TUi dnma (^oth Fint Rod Baooad PaiM) ought to hare 
oceupied an nrlier Madon among our author'a worka. 1 ori- 
ginalljr rejected it, becauie the nsme of Dekker aJoDe ippearB 
OD the title-page j but I haie aiace fell convinced that, with 
inch aulborily far ascribing; a portion of it to MiddletoQ ai 
that of Uenalowe in the falfowiDg entry, I should not be jus- 
tified in excluding; it from the present collection : 

" Hanh 1602-3. The Patient Han and Honest Whore, 
bj Tbomu Dekker and Thamu MiddUlm." 
Malone's Shaktftart (b<r Boawell), vol. iii. p. 328. 

■ Of iheed. of 1605. 1 have met with no other copy except 
that id my own poa*e«iM, which fimnerly belonged to Mr. 


HlFTOUTDt ■ «^^ 

BnnncT, « rfvMr. 

CA«»IDa. M amtm-dnftr. 

S tft mJ Fmtif. 


Roou, jmaw r* BttUffrvni. 

BsLLAr&oM, a harlirt. 

t, and ihe neiglibourbood. 




Afar a/ifMniJ,kearaM( %nv M tk t««n^ wMtdlMM 
and garltmdi hanging on the lida, attendtd by 

GABrAMaTRMJiAxxi, Duke of Milan, Castkuchio, 
SiKBzi, PioRATTo, Flubllo, and other* : Hip- 
POL1TO meeting them, and Matheo laboarijig to 
hold him baci. 

Ddke. Behold, yon comet shews his head again! 
Twice hath he thus at cross-turns thrown on us 
Prodigious* looks ; twice hath he troubled 
The waters of our eyes : see, he's turn'd wild : — 
Go on, in God's name. 

Ddke. Kinsmen and friends, take from your 
manly sides 
Your weapons, to keep back the desperate boy 
From doing violence to the innocent dead. 

Hip. I prithee, dear Matheo 

Mat. Come, you're mad ! 

Hip. 1 do arrest thee, murderer ! Set down, 
Villains, set down that sorrow, 'tis all mine ! 




Duke. I do beseech you all, for my blnod's sake, 
Send lience your milder Epirics, and let wraih 
Juin In confederacy with your weapons' points; 
If he proceed to vex ub, let your swords ^^^ 
fii-ek out his bowels : funeral grief loathes word^^l 

Hii-. 8el down the body! ^H 

Mat. O my lord, |H 

You're wrong ! i' ih' open street 1 you see shv^^^l 

■lead. ^1 

Hip. I know she is not dead. 

Duke. Frantic young man, 
Wilt thou bi'licTe these gentlemen ? — Pray, speak — 
Thou dost abnse my child, and mock'sl the tears 
That here are shed for her ; if to behold ^M 
Those roses wither'd that set out her cheeks ; ^^H 
That pair of stars gave her body light ^^H 
Darkened and dim for ever ; all those river* ^" 
That fed her veins witli ivarm and crimson streams 
Frozen and dried up ; if these be signs r»f death. 
Then is she dead. Thou unreligious youth, 
Art not asham'd to empty all these eyes 
Of funeral tears, a debt due to the dead, 
As mirth is to the living ? sham'st thou not 
To have them stare on thee ! Hark, thou art curs'd 
Even to thy face, by those that scarce can speak ! 

H.p. My lord 

Duke. What wouldst ihou have? is she not 

Hip. 0, you ha' kill'd her by your cruelty ! 

Duke. Admit I had, thou kill'st her now again, 
And art more savage than a barbarous Moor. 

Hip. Let me but kiss her pde and bloodless 1»^ 

Duke. Ofie, fie, fie! ^M 

Hip. Or if not touch her, let me look on ber.^H 

L J 

H4«k Orifyaa^lMr'dlwrlMii^mnliarimr, 
Dns. A7, wdl douk «r; joa pUy Uw gantb^ 

SiadlMDn; — ^"tniMftljdent;— mny; — Tlljatft 
Hj AmM to yaan* to mip tUBvMbnt'tomiit^^ - 

[AcMrt md-AMTj^ aU tmtft Ik Mb, Hir- 
roLtio, mtd Matbbo. 
HiF. Hidieoi tiion da>t woniid me mon. 
Mat. I ^Tc you ]>b7tic, noble friend, not wounds. 
DuKx. O, well uid, well done, a trne gentleman I 
Almck, I knoiv the sea of lovers' rage 
Comes rushing with so strong a tide, it beats 
And bears down ail respects of life, of honour. 
Of friends, of foes I Forget her, gallant youth. 
Hip. Foiget her ? 
DcKE. Nay, nay, be but patient ; 
For why death's hand hath sued a strict divorce 
Twixt her and thee : what's beauty but a corse ? 
What but fair sand-dust are earth's purest forms ? 
Qaeeos' bodies are but trunks to put in worms. 

Mat. Speak no more sentences, my good lord, 
but slip hence ; you see they are but fits ; I'll rule 
him, I warrant ye. Ay, ao, tread gingerly ; your 
grwjx is here somewhat too long already. [£zi( 
Duke.^ — 'Sblood, the jest were now, if, having ta'en 
■onae knocks o* th' pate already, he should get 
looae again, and, like a mad ox, toss my new black 
cloaks into the kennel. I must humour his lord- 
ship. [A»ide.'\ — My lord Hippolito, is it in your 
stomach to go to dinner 1 
Hip. Where is the body 7 ' 

* forml] OW edi. " tomunt" 


Mat. Tlie liody, as the duke spake very wisely, 
is poue to be wormed. 

Hip. I cannot rest ; I'U meet it at next turn : 
I'll see how my love looks. 

[Mathco hohLs HiFPotiTo back. 

Mat. How your love looks ? worse than a scare- 
crow. Wrestle not with me ; the great fellow gives 
the fa]], for a ducat. 

Hip. 1 shall forget myself. 

Mat. Pray, do so; leave yourself behind your- 
self, and go whiiher you will. 'Sfoot. do you long 
to have base rogues, that maintain a Saint Anthony's 
tire in tlieir noses by nothing but twopenny ale, 
make ballads of you ? If the duke had but so much 
metal in him as is in a cobbler's awl, he would ha' 
beeo a vexed thing ; he and his train had blown 
you Dp, but that their powder has taken the wet 
cowards : you'll bleed three pottles of Aligant,'' by 
this light, if you follow 'em ; and then we shall have i 
3 hole made in a wrong place, to have surgeons roll : 
thee up, like a baby, in swaddling clouts. 

Hip. What day is to-day, Matheo ? 

Mat. Yea, marry, this is an easy question ; wliy, 
to-day is — let me see — Thursday, 

Hip. O, Thursday. 

Mat. Here's a coil for a dead commodity ! 'sfoot, 
women when they are alive are but dead commo- 
dities, for you shall have one woman lie upon many 
men's hands, 

Hii'. She died on Monday then ! 

Mat. And that's the most villanous day of al 
the week to die in : and she was well and eat , 
mess of water-gruel on Monday morning. 


Bit. Ay? itennotbs 
9aA • bn^ t^er Amid Imra <mt m mmxi. 

Mat. O jn, my lord. So kmu t whj, I ba* 
Idmiwb Aom thit it dkuMr fasTo beao ai wdQ, and 
tidao mbA hMldt that dNTf war« ^adto^edge 
J^ fat bafcfe tbtaa a'doek rnn ham fimnd dead 

Htv^ Ob Tbnndiqr bmiod, and oa Mooda j diod ! 
Q/aA haata, Inriadj;* anxe bar windu^-ahoet 
Vaa laid ask "Ion har bodr ; and the wmma, 

Hat. Stm^ feeders they are indeed, my lord, 
tmi like jonr jeater, or young courtier, nJll enter 
iqma uy nun's trencher without bidding. 

Hit. Curs'd be that day for ever that robb'd her 
Of breath and me of bliss ! henceforth let it stand 
Withb the wizard's book, the calendar, 
Marlt'd with a mai^inal finger,' to be chosen 
By thicTcs, by villains, and black murderers, 
As tbe beat day for them to labour in. 
If bcDcefbrth this adulterous, bawdy world 
Be got with child with treason, sacrilege, 
Atbtiam, rapes, treacherous; friendship, perjury, 
Slander, the beggar's sin, lies, sin of fools, 
Or any other damn'd impieties. 
On Monday let 'em be delivered. 
I wear to thee, Matheo, by my soul, 
I Hereafler weekly on that day I'll glue 
I Mine eyelids down, because they shall not gaze 
On any female cheek ; and being lock'd up 
la my dose chamber, there I'll meditate 

* Ijirlnfy] i. e. By our lady. 

* margiaatjlngtr] J. e. the index (t^T) dd the margins of 
oU booki, to direct the ruder't atientioD to panicular psi- 

Od nothing but my lofelice's end, 

Or on a dead man's scull draw out mine own. 

Mat. You'll do all these good works now every 
Mondayi bt cauae it U bo bad ; but 1 hope upon 
Tuesday morning I shall take you with a wench. 

Hip. If ever, whilst frail blood through my veins 
On woman's beams 1 throw affection. 
Save her tliol's dead ; or that 1 loosely fly 
To ih' shore of any other wafting eye, 
Let me not prosper, heaven ! I will be true 
Even to her dust and ashea : could her tomb 
Stand, whilst I liv'd, so long that it might rot, 
That should fall down, but she be ne'er fot^oi. 

Mat. If you have this strange monster, honestyi 
in your belly, why, so, jig-makera' and chroniclera 
shall pick Eomeihing out of you; but and^ I smell 
not you and a bawdyhouse out within these ten 
days, let my nose be as big as on English bag- 
pudding. I'll follow your lordship, though it be to 
the place afore named. \^ExamL 

Another Street . 

Enter Fustioo h 


Fus, How now, porter, will she come ? 

PoR. If I may trust a woman, sir. she will come 

Frs. There's for tliy pains [g'U« mimcy] : God 

amercy, if ever I stand in need of a wench that wl' 

come with a wet finger,'' porter, thou ghalt earn m 

' jig-MBJlwi] " i, e. biUad-makers.' 

I and} \. e. if. 

' with a wctfingtr] i 

.ett." ItsED. ^^^1 

rsx aoKsn whose: II 

taooey before any d3rissiRio['E]' in Milm: J&t M^ 
God la' me, she's mine o»n sister, bodf ud MmI, 
u 1 im a Christian geiitlentan : farewefl i m ponder 
uQ >he come : thou hast been no bambiafl ' 
ihig womaD, I assure thee. 

PoK. N'o matter if 1 had, sir; bettar HMi thM 
porters are bawds. 

Fes. God, sir, many that have bone atfcMi 
But, potter, art sure tliou %vent'st intofttrnvhoaa! 
Vol. I think so, for I met with no AivfM^l^ 
Fua. Nay, but art sure it was my siHer Ij^olat 
Pot. 1 am sure, by all supers criptiMtt, it WM 
Atjfutj Jim dpfaeicit. 
Fn. Not very tiUt 

Pou Nor very low ; a middling woman. 
Fit. Twas she, faith, 'twas she : a pretty plump 
Pok. At a blush a little, very much like you. 
Fdi. Godso, I would not for a ducat she had 
^bd up her heels, for I ha' spent an abomination 
tbtsrc^age; marry, I did it amongst sailors and 
geBtlaneD. There's a little modicum more, porter, 
WT mking thee stay [givei money] ; farewell, ho- 
■"' porter. 
fot. I am in your debt, sir ; God preserve you. 
Fdi, Not so neither, good porter. [Exit porter."] 
^"i't lid, yonder sbe comes. 

Enter Viola. 
Sitta Viols, I am glad to see you stirring : it's 
am to have ine here, is't not, sister? 
Vio. Yes, trust me : I wondered who should 

' rIniwMw't] i. e. grsndee'i. 

I tnt keiat . . . no thienei] Tnti nten being a 

Mtntneo — in oppoution lo Ihiani, 

are welcome to 

I heard you were married 
ind I was very sorry for it 
clothes, and that made r 
we Milancrs love to str 
And how do'' all our 

be so bold to send for 
Milan, brother. 

Fes. Troth, sister, 
to a very rich chuff, 
that I had no bettei 
send ; for you knon 
upon Spanish lea the 
friends J 

Vio. Very well. You ha' travelled enough now, 
I trow, to BOW your wild oats. 

Frs, A pox on "em! wild oats? I ha' not an 
oat to throw at a horse. Troth, sister, I ha' sowed 
my outs, and reaped two hundred ducats, if I had 
'em here. Marry, I must entreat you to lend me 
some thirty or forty till ihe ship come : by this 
hand, I'll discharge at my day, by this hand. 

Vio. These are your old oaths. 

Fus. Why, sister, do you think I'll forswear my 

Vio, Well, well, you shall have them. Put your- 
self into better fashion, because 1 must employ you 

Fus. I'll sweat like a horse, if I like the matter. 
Vio. You ha' cast off all your old swaggering 

fish-pond, the sea, but I cast up my very gall. 

Vio. I am the more sorry, for 1 must employ a 
true swaggerer- 

Fus. Nay, by this iron, sister, they shall find I 
am powder and touch-box, if they put lire once 

Vio. Then lend me your 




Vio. 1 am married to a nian thai has wealtti 
enough and t>it enough. 

Fds. a linen-draper, I was told, sister. 

Vio. Very true ; a grave citizen, I want nothing 
that a wife can wish from a husband ; but here's 
ibe spile, he has not all things belonging to a man. 

Fds. God's my life, he's a very mandrake ;' or 
else, God bless us, one a' these whiblins, '" and 
that's norse ; and then all the children that he gets 
lawfully of your body, sister, are bastards by a 

). O, you run over me loo fasl, brother. I 
heard it often said, iliat he who cannot he 

_ _, ia BO man : J am mre n^ bnriiand it a man 
in prints for all things else save only in this, no 
te ni p e s t can move him. 

Pes. 'Slid, would he had been at sea with ua ! he 
aboold ha' been moved and moved again ; for I'll 
be awonii la, oiti drunken ship reeled like a Dutch- 

Vio. No )ou of goods can increase in him a 
wriakle ; do crabbed language make his counte- 
naoce soar; the stubbornness of no servant shake 
liini : he has no more gall in him than a dove, no 
Bkore Sling than an ant ; musician will he never 
be, jct I find much music in him, but he loves no 
6eta ; and is so free from anger, that many times I 
am ready to bite oS* my tongue, because it wants 
that virtae which all women's tongues have, to 

' —rfFBfe] "TbcToot ofitiigreat Slid white lihesradiib- 
noi, uid ii divided into li*o or more psrt*, growing some- 
tuBcs like the Im of B num." B]ount'i OUitngraphia. Reed. 
— Accordiag la the old lupenticioua notiona, the mnndrake 
pfii Hill an inlierior degree of uiimal life, file. 

~ w/dblka] i. e^ periups, eunucbi, say ■ Narei, OIou. in v. 

■ n primi] " Exactly, perfectly." Rsid. 


anger their husbands : brother, mine can by no 
thunder turn him into a sharpness. 

Fus. Belike his blood, sister, is well brewed 

Vio. I protest to thee, Fustigo, I love him most 
affectionately ; but I know not — I ha' such a tickling 
within me — such a strange longing ; nay, verily, I 
do long. 

Fus. Then you*re with child, sister, by all sig^s 
and tokens: nay, I am partly a physician, and 
partly something else ; I ha' read Albertus Mag- 
nus ° and Aristotle's Problems.? 

Vio. You're wide a' th' bow-hand^ still, brother : 
my longings are not wanton, but wayward ; I long 
to have my patient husband eat up a whole porcu* 
pine, to the intent the bristling quills may stick 
about his lips like a J'lemish mustachio, and be 
shot at me : I shall be leaner than the new moon, 
unless I can make him horn-mad. 

Fus. 'Sfoot, half a quarter of an hour does that; 
make him a cuckold. 

Vio. Pooh, he would count such a cut no un- 

Fus. The honester citizen he. Then make him 
drunk and cut off his beard.' 

Vio. Fie, fie, idle, idle ! he's no Frenchman, to 

<* Alhertttt Magnus] ** i. e. de Secretii Mulieruin." Steevers. 

P Prohlems] Old eds. " Emblemea," which in Dodaley's Old 
Plays is rightly altered to Problems. An absurd book, called 
The Problems ofAristotle, with other Philosophers and PhysitiotUf 
&c., was printed at London, in 1595, 1607, &c 

<i wide a' th' bow-hand'] i. e. your arrow has flown a good 
way from the mark, on the left hand (in which the bow waa 

' cut off his beard] " To cut off the hair of any person was, 
in our author's time, a mark of disgrace, and esteemed a very 
great indignity." Reed. 

fret at the loss of a little scald hair.* No, hrothtr, 
ihua it shall be — you must be secret. 

Fits. As your midwife, I protest, abUr, or • 

Vio. Repair to the Tortoise here in St. ChtHtO- 
piier's street ; I will send you tnoncy | ton TOa^ 
Mifititaabrave'man; instead of the ■na-ofjow 
misiress, let your sword and your militny acnt 
lung about your neck. 

Fds. 1 must have a great horsemn'i VttaA 
fnther too, sister. 

ViD. O, by any means, to shew your light haait 
«lae;our hat will sit like a coxcomb : to be brief, 
yn nnut be in all pointa a moat terrible wide- 
■OBthed swaggerer. 
Fm- Nay, for swaggering points let me alone. 
Vio. Resort then to our shop, and, in my hus- 
«i><l'a presence, kiss me, snatch rings, jewels, or 
•"J ihing, so you give it back again, brother, in 
Feb. By this hand, siater. 

Vio- Swear as if you came but newfrom knighting. 
fii- Nay, I'll swear after 400 a-year. 
'10. Swagger worse than a lieutenant among 
*™i-'nier soldiers ; call me your love, your 
'"flci" your cousin, or so, but sister at no hand. 

Fw. No, no, it shall be cousin, or rather coz ; 
*Mt'i the gulling word between the citizens' wives 
ud their madcaps' that man 'em to the garden: 

' RoUtar] " i. e. scBltered or diipcned bair. Mr.Lambe, 
in hit DDta on Ftoddrn Field, oburvet, that the word icalt 18 
OKd ID the North in the Bbova-nieatiaued sense." Reed. 
Xouense \ tcald is icahby — paltry- 

' imt] I. e. finely dreued — a quibble. 

' agiti i. e. botom friend : see note, vol. ii. p. 40S. 

* mad^ft] So ed. 1S05- Other edi. "old dames." 

to call yoi 
as call you b 
cozen you rarely. 

Vio. Has beard I have a brother, but never saw 
him ; therefore put on a good face. 

Fus. The beat in Milan, I warrant. 

Vio, Take up wares, but pay nothing ; rifle my 
bosom, my pocket, my purse, the boxes for money 
to dice withal ; but, brother, you must give all back 

Fu8. By this welkin* ihat here roars, 1 will, or 
else let me never know what a secret is. Why, 
sister, do you think I'll cony-eatch^ you, when 
you are my cousin ? God's my life, then I were b 
BUrk ass. If I fret not his guts, beg me for a 

Vio. Be circumspect, and do so then. Farewell. 

Fus, The Tortoise, sister ! I'll stay there ; forty 
ducats I 

Vio. Thither I'll send. [£.«'( Fust loo.] This law 

Women must have tlicir longings, or they die. [Exit. 

] Ed. lOOfi, ' 


wu a cant tuna Tor h proHiiiutc, as in itic ntoscni paesage, nod 
mote frequently (lee vol.ii. p. 21, Unel) (or a bawd. 

' urttin] L c. iky. 

' cmy-colA] i. e. cheat, deceive i tee Dole, vol, L p. 200. 

• btgmifarafQof] " Sir WilUam BUikstoDe, in his CW- 
wmtaritt, vol. L p. 303, wyi, — ' By ihe old comioDii law ifacre 
it ■ irrit it idltla inqHimdo, (o inquire whether a man be an 
idiot or ftOI i which mmt be tried hy a jury of twelve men : 
ud if Ibey find hinii»iru idiola, the pratiu of his lands, and 
the custody of hii penon, may be granted by ibe king to solne 
■ubJECt who has interest enough to obtain ihem.' And be 
obiervea, llial this power, thgugh of late very rarely exerted, 
is Btitl alluded lo in cotnraon speech by that usual expresaion 
of begging a man for a fool." Keed. 



A Chamber in Ike Dukc'i Palace, 
Enter ihe Dalce, Bene and ttvo Servants. 

DrKE. Give charge that - do enter, lock thi 
doors — ttkif)^ as he entert 

And, fellowi, what your eyea ears receive. 

Upon your lives trust not the gadding air 
To carry the least part of it. The glass, the hoiu- 
Bi<r. Here, my lord. [^Brings hoar-gl 

DvKE, Ah, 'tis near'' spent ! 
INl, doctor Benedict, doet yoor ut apeak truth T 
Art rare the soporiferoue streatD will ebb, 
And leave the crystal banks of her white body 
Pure u ihey were at first, just M the hour ? 
Bin, Just at the hour, my lord. 
Dvu. Uncurtain her : 

[A curiam It drawn back, and Infelicb dis- 
covered lying on a couch. 
S<|ftly!— See, doctor, what" a coldish heat 

Bpreidi over all her body ! 
Bkh. Now it works : 

Tlie vital spirits, that by a sleepy charm 
Were bound up fast, and threw an icy rusf* 
On her exterior parts, now 'gin to break : 
Tronble her not, my lord. 
Dui>. Some stools! {Servants set stools.'] You 
For mntic, did you not 7 O ho, it speaks, {_Mtuic. 

• Btaedkt} So ed. I60S. Other edi. " Beoedick." 

• hmt] Oid cdi. *' meere." 

• S^if !—Sn, doctor, vital, &c] So ed. 160S. Olber ede. 
" MUu (weet Declor : what," &c 

. Amd Aat fc^* ^fa^m hay ITiy puBiu 

I Bay btf r lb' o^er. «cte kr tttte awe 

I Dmw, ra ftarre kr on Ae Apnaw. 
r fei« be ikaD BBnT ber. I mmi eoalen 


CB»ks' Uood baa » Ui *n», 
[ Wbon I woaU oiHnt to be nf «»-*a-hv ; 
I Bnt fimett, wboae Ugb a]lc«n ht taifery aweU, 
I Are DM witb eaqr an made paraDd. 
SsavAMT*. Sbe wabea, my lord. 
DcEe. Look, doctor Beneiiirt ! — 
I durge you. on jroar lires, taaiotain for mitli 
Wbate'er ih« doctor or mjadi avvr. 
For you iball bear ber bene* u> Berjf M no. 

lar. OGod. wbat fearfiddzmiB! jlfmktmmg. 
Bes. Lady. 
lar. Ha' 
DtiKE- Girlt 
Wby, Infeitce, bow is'i now, ha, e^ 

Ur. I'm well — what naXes ibU doctor b 

I'm well. 
DcKC. Tbou wen not so rrcu t 
pale hand 
Laid hold on thee even in the midst' of fe 



• /mJ] i. c. fool'uh. 

' II.I mUilJ 80 the nceUctit ei. of ISdJ. Olber r^-tkt 
d*«l.t." which t» giw >» D«Jdej'« CU f>i*w. and wluch, m 
Nam ( OJau. in *■ ) mDiTla, it " tni tiritwinUy apfdicd to ifce 
twiiriit or n*i)diaii of feacdo^, vluch nitelj hat DMhiw A^ 
tn it." Pirhap* the miipniii ■rose from the eompadiaA ejw 
hivins ciusht the oord Jmct in At next li&e but two. 


And irbeii a cup, crown'cl with thy lover's heulth, 
Had touch' d thy lips, a sensible cold dew 
Suod OD thy checks, ss if UiBt death bail ncpt 
To lee such beauty alterJ 

Isf. I remember 
I nte at baoquel, but felt no such change. 

DtiKE. Thou hast forgot, then, how a messenger 
Came wildly in, nith this unsavoury news, 
That he naa dead ? 
lar. What messeoger ? who's dead 1 
DcKE- Hippolito. Alack, wring not thy hand* ! 
Ikt. 1 saw no messenj^er, heard no such news. 
Biy. TruBt me you did, aiveet lady. 
DtTKE, La, you now ! 
SisvANTs. Yea, indeed, madam. 
Drsz. La, you now! — 'Tis well, good knaves!'' 
In. You ha' slain him, and now you'll murder 

DoEE. Good Infelice, vex not thus thyself: 
Of this ihe bad report before did strike 
So coldly to thy' heart, that the swift currents 
Of life were all frozen up — 

hr. It is untrue, 
"Til most untrue, O moat unnatural father ! 
Ddxe. And we had much to do, by art's best 
To fetch life back again. 
BtK. Most certain, lady. 
Ddxb. Why, la, you now, you'll not believe >ne. 
— Friends, 
Sireat we tiot all ? had we not much to do 7 
Sestamts. Yes, indeed, my lord, much. 
Ddxe. Death drew such fearful pictures in thy 

( alttr] 8o ed. ISOS. Other oil. " alUrd." 

' gvod faunwi] So ti. ISOG. Other ed«. " God knoncL" 

> itjr] So cd. 1005. Othir edi. " the." 


That, were Hippolito alive again, 

I'd* kneel and woo the noble gentleman 

To be thy liusband : now I sore repent 

My sharpness to biro and his family. 

Nay, do not weep for him ; we all must die.— J 

Doctor, this place, where she so ofi hath seen t 

HU lively presence, hurts' her, does it not ? 

Ben. Doubtless, my lord, it does. 

Duke. It does, it does ; 
Therefore, sweet girl, thou shall to Bergamo. 

Imf. Even where you will ; in any place there's 

Ddxb. a coach is ready ; Ber^^mo doth stand 
In a most wholesome air, sweet walks ; there's deer — 
Ay, thou shalt hunt, and send us venison, 
Which, like some goddess in the Cyprian" groves. 
Thine own fair hand shall strike. — Sirs, you shall 

teach her 
To stand, and how to shoot ; ay, she shall bunt. — 
Cast off this sorrow : in, girl, and prepare 
This night to ride away to Bergamo. 

Inp. O most unhappy maid ! lExil. 

Duke. Follow her" close : 
No words that she was buried, on your lives. 
Or that her ghost walks now after she's dead ; 
111 hang you if yon name a funeral. 

FiBBT Sen. I'll speak Greek, my lord, ere I speak 
that deadly word. 

Sec Seh. And I'U speak Welsh, which is harder 
than Greek. 

Dvke. Away; look to her. {_Exeiint Servants.^ 
Doctor Benedict, 

" I'd] So ed, leoS. Oilier etU. •' lit. 
1 hirti] EiL 1105, " hnrta." Othet e 
' gmliUii in the Cupriim] So ti. ICOi. 
St Copri«n." 
• lier\ So ed. 1005. Other edi. "lU" 


THEHWlSfTmoaE. 31 

Did you observe how her complexion alier'd 
Upon his name and death ? O, would 'twere true [ 
Brs. li may, my lord. 
DcKE. May! how? I wish his death. 
Ben. And you may have your wish ; aay but the 
And 'tis a strong spell to rip up his grave. 
[ tsTe good knowledge with Hippolito ; 
He calls me friend : I'll creep into his bosom, 
And ftting him there to death ; poison can do't. 
DrxE. Perform it, I'll create thee half mine heir. 
Ben. Ii shall be done, although the fact bo foul. 
Duke. Greatness hides sin ; the guilt upon my 
soul ! [Exeunt. 

A Street. 
Enter Castbucbio, Piobatto, and Fluello. 
Cit. SigDor Pioratto, lignor Fluello, ahall's be 
■iMny? ihall's play the w^s now 7 

FtD. Ay, any thing that may beget the child of 

Cu. Truth, I have a pretty sportive conceit new 
crept into my brain, will move excellent mirth. 

Pio. Let's ha't, let's ha't; and where shall the 
■cene of mirth lie? 

Cas. At signor Candido's house, the patient man, 
aay, the monstrous patient man : they say his blood 
if immoveable ; that he has taken all patience from 
a man, and all constancy from a woman. 
Flu. That makes so many whores now-a-days. 
Cas. Ay, and so many knaves too. 
Pio. Well, sir. 

Ca«. To conclude, — the report goes, he's so mild, 
M aflable, to aufieriog, that nothing indeed can 


liat snort it wiU I 

move him : now do but think wlial sport i 

be to make this fellovr, the mirror of patience, as 

angry, as vexed, and as mad as an English cuckold. 

Flu. O, 'twere admirable mirth thatl but bow 
will't be done, signor? 

Cas. Let me alone ; I have a trick, a conceit, a 
thing, a device will sting him, i'faith, if he have but 
a thimbleful of blood in's belly, or a spleen not eo 
big as a tavern -token." 

Pio, Thou stir him, thou move him, thou anger 
him 1 alas, 1 know his approved temper I thou 
vex him ? why, he has a patience above man's in- 
juries ; thou mayest sooner raise a spleen in bd 
angel than rough humour in him. Why, I'll give 
you instance for it. This wonderfully tempered sig- 
nor Candido upon a time invited home to his house 
certain Neapoliian lords of curious taste and do 
mean palates, cnnjunng his wife, of all loves,? to 
prepare cheer fitting for such honourable trencher- 
men. She —just of a woman's nature, covetous to 
try the uttermost of vexation, and thinking at last 
to get the start ofhis humour— willingly neglected 
the preparation, and became unfurnished not only 
of dainty, but of ordinary dishes. He, according 
to the mildness of his breast, entertained the lords, 

■ a liKwm'loktn] " During ihc reign of Queen Eliiibeth, 
and from lhanoi!far«rird to that of Chirlts the Second, very 
liltlo brau or eopHr money wu coineil by aulhorily. For 
lb( eonnnienn* of trade, vintuillcrB and other iredctmen, 
without any mlilotion, were thercrore permitted la coin uiull 
monof. or Itktiu, w iliey wer* culled, which were used for 
eh*n|[«. Tlleie Mtm wrra very uusll pieces, and. probably, 
at Ant coined ehlBlly byia>«rn-Keeppi(i from whence tlieex- 

gession a tmon-ttitn might hare been origiiuilljr derived." 
BBD. " Thai moil nf liwni would iriiv«] u> ibe lartn, may 
be Mtily suppDsrd, and banoa, perhspi, the name. Their 
usual vuu* SMmi to havo bvi-n a farthinn." Oifford, note on 
B. Jonion'i Ifurtt, vod I. p. 30. 
' iffiUI Imhi] 1. o. for thf Hk« of all lore— b; al' 



nd witk courtly discourse beguiled the time, u 
might do. To conclude : tliey 
wre hungry lords, for there came no meat in ; their 
ttomacha nere plainly gulled, and their teeth de- 
luded; and, if anger could have seized a man, tber« 
ns matter enough, i'failh, to vex any citizen in the 
wcnld, if he were not too much made a fool by bis 

Fm. Ay, I'll swear for'i ; 'sfoot, bad it been my 
CMC, I ihouid ha' played mad tricks with niy wife 
ud family ; first, I nould ba' spitted the i 
cteved the maids, and baked the mistress, and so 
ierved them in. 
Pio. Why, 'twould ha' tempted^ any blood but 
And tbou to vex him I thou to anger him 
Vitfa tome poor, shallow jest I 

Cm. 'Sblood, signor Pioratto, you that disparage 
liy conceit, 111 wage a hundred ducats upon the bead 
oa'^ that it moves him, frets him, and galla him. 

Pk>. Done; 'tis a lay;' join golls* on't. Wit- 
Acn, signor Fluello. 

Cas. WitDMB : 'tis done. 
Come, follow me ; the house ia not far off*. 
111 tbrost him from his humour, vex his breast, 
And win a huttdred ducats by one jest. [_Exevnt. 


Cak dido's Shop. 

GxoKOE imd tteo Prentice* ducovered : enter VioljA 

Vio. Come, you put up your wares in good order 

t Itttpttd'] So otber edi. Pint ed. " tempred." 

• Img] L e, wigcT. 

' <*''>] A cant term for band) — lUti, pawi. 

here, do you not. think yoa I one f 

WBj-, aiuKli«r that way '. yon had need bare « pMieBt 

RUuUrr indeed 

Gj(o. Ay, I'll be Bwom, for we hsve ■ cunt nis- 
trcH. [Jm^. 

Vio. Yew aiDinble, do TOO .' ttnuablc ? I wonld 
jroor msftrr or I coold be a note tnare Bogrj! fbr 
two [utimt foUu in a Iwiue «poi] all the MTvants 
ibat e*L-r sball come uader them. 

FiUT F. You patient ! ajr, so ia the deril when 
be i* hotn-raad. [j^m^ 

fn/fT CaSTBCCHIO, FlDELIX>, Oncf PlOKATft). 

Geo. Geniiemen, what do you lack I 

FiMOT P. What is't you buy ? 

Skc. p. See fine hollands, fine cambrics, fine 

Geo. What is't you lack 1 

8r«. P. What is't you buy f 

C**. Where'* signer Candido, thy master ? 

Geo, Faith, signer, he's a little negotiated ; he'll 
appear preavntly. 

Cai. Fellow, let's sec a lann, a choice otie, sirrah. ' 

Gxo. The heat in all Milan, gentlemen, and this 
is the piece. I can fit you, gentlemen, with fine 
csllicoes too for doublets; the only sweet fashion 
now, mutti delicate and courtly, a meek gentle cal- 
lico, cut upon tno double aflable lafl'etas — ahainoM 
ncal, feat, and uiimatchable ! 

Flu. a notable voluble-longucd villain ! 
« Pio. I warrant tbia fellow vru never b«got iritli- 
DUt iituch prating. 

■ Gfntltmrm, whal. Sl<l.,Jht 
[n old nb., »lit> ihe prefix ' 
WU ibr c<>n*t>iit (dilrcH o[ ibu|i 

>Mrj.jtH la 




i Cas. What, and i* this she, sayest thou t 

Geo. Ay, and the purest slie that ever yoii fin- 
gered since you were a gentleman : look how even 
she is ; look how clean she is, ha ! as even as the 
brow of Cynthia, and as clean as youi sons and 
hein nhen they ha' spent all. 

C4S. Pooh! thou talkest — pox on'l, 'tis rough, 

Geo. HowT is she rough? but if you hid pox 

on't, sir, 'twill take away the roughness presently. 

FLg. Ha, signor, has he fitted your French 

Geo. Look you, gentleman, here's another ; com- 
pare [hern, I pray, compara yirgilium cum Homero, 
compare virgins with harlots. 

Cas, Pooh ! I ha' seen better, and, as yon term 
Atm, erener and cleaner. 

Geo. Yon may see further for your mind, but 
tnat me you shall not find better for your body. 

Enter Can dido. 
Cju. 0, here he conies: let's make as though 

CdDK, come, well try in some other shop. 

Cav. How now 7 what's the matter 7 

Gio. The gentlemen find fault with this lawn, 
&D OQt with it, and without a cause too. 

Cut. Without a cause 7 
And that makes you to let 'em pass away. — 
Ah, may I crave a word with you, gentlemen 7 

Flu. He caUs us. 

Cu. Makes the better for the jest, 

Ca. I pray come near. You're very welcome, 

I'ny pardon my man's rudeness, for I fear me 
flu talk'd above a prentice with you. Lawns ! 

\Shemng lamm. 


ing faiih, 
rd, nor slack, 
s from black. 

. all il lings : 

26 THE HONEST wilt 

Look you, kind gentlemen, this- 
Take this, upon my honest^deal 
To be a true weave ; not loo ha 
But e'en as far from fithehood a 

Cab. Well, how do you rate it 1 

Can. Very conscionably ; cightee 

Cas. That's too dear. How many yards does 
the whole piece contain, think you? 

Cam. Why, some seventeen yards, I think, or 
thereabouts. How much would serve your turn, I 
pray t 

Cas. Why. let me see — would it were better loo! 

Cak. Truth, 'tis the best in Milan, at few words. 

Cas, Well, let me have then — it whole | 

Can. Ha, ha! you're a merry gentleman. 

Cab. a penn'orth, I say. 

Can. Of lawn r 

Cas. Oflawn? ay, oflawn; apenn'orth. 'Sblood, 
dost not bear? a whole penn'orth : are you deaf? 

Can. Deaf? no, sir; but I must tell you, 
Our wares do seldom meet such customers. 

Cas. Nay, andJ you and your lawns be so 
squeamish, fare you well. 

Can. Pray stay ; a word, pray, signor : for wbat 
purpose is it, I beseech you ? 

Cas. 'Sblood, what's that to you? I'll have s 

Can. a pennyworth ! wliy you shall ; I'D serve 
you presently. 

Sec, P, 'Sfoot, a pennyworth, mistress! 

Vio, A pennyworth ! call you tliese gentlemen I 

Cas. No, no ; not there. "^^ 

w words. 


THE aoHUT •maot.M. 

Cax. Wliat then, kind ^mlunan ! 
Wlut, at iliis corner kere ? 

Cae. No, nor there neither ; 
111 hkve it juBt ID the middle, or o)m not. 

Cak. Just in the middle.' — ha — you ihall 
Have you a single penny ? 

Ca*. Yes, here's one. 

C*x. Lend it me, 1 pray- 

Fiu. An excellent followed jnt t 

Vio. What, nill be spoil the Inrn now T 

Cax. Patience, good wife. 

Vio. Ay, that palknco makii a fool of y. 
Geodemen, y 


Do not r^ard her Iwignage.— O, kind lo^ 
Sncb words will drive away my c 
Vio. CiutoiaerB with i 

Cam. Patience, good wi&. [Cab tie 

Vio, Pax* a' your 
Geo. 'Sfooi, misHi 
ffc**tii*|f conpanioDS.' 
Cak. Look yon, 

I hive yoOT money here ; pny kmam mty A of, 
Bray let me Iuto yoar cnMom. 
Vio. Custom, qnotfa 'a ? 
Cav. Let me take more of yo«r moaey, 
Vio. Yob bad need so. 
Pio. Hark in 

Look you, kind gentlemen, this — no — ay 
Take this, upon my honest-dealing faith. 
To be a true weave ; nnt too hard, nor sli 
But e'en as far from falseliood as from bL 

Cab. Well, how do you rate it ? 

Can. Very conscionably ; eighteen • 

Cas. That's loo dear. Hon many } 
the whole piece contain, think you? 

Cam. Why, some seventeen yard^ I 
ihereabouts. How much would serve J 

Cas. Why, let me sec — would it wen 
Can. Truth, 'tis the best in Milan, » 
Cas. Well, lei rae have then— a wl 

Can. Ha, ha ! you're a merry gentle^ I 

Cas. a penn'orth, I say. • 

Can. Of lawn! 

Cas. Of lawn? ay, of lawn; apenn'oi 
dost not hear ? a whole penn'orth : bt«^ 

Can. Deaf? no, sir ; but I must t^ 
Our wares do seldom meet such custOK 

Cas. Nay, and' you and your 1 
squeamish, fare you well. ^ 

Can. Pray slay ; a word, pray, sigi 
purpose is it, I beseech you? « 

Cas. 'Sblood, what's that to yon 
pennyworth. « 

Can. a pennyworth ! why yon d 
you presently. 

Sec. p. 'Sfoot, a pennyworth, mwt 

Vio. A pennyworth ! call you ihet 

Cas, No, no ; not there. w 


Cu. WkMdHnkkiadHndMDHif 

Cm. Hot Bor Aan Bcitber ; 
nh«TCitjattiBlbeniddle,aT else not 
C«i.iHt m Aa nUdlel — ha — yon ihall too: 

Cu. Tee, hem's oat. 

Cam. I^md it me, I prey. 

Fin. AhCMdknt&IkrMdjeetl 

Vm. WhM, wiDlMepoadielewnnowr 

Cm. faiiwee, good wife. 

Tib. Aj, Ifaet pMioiee mekea e ibol of ^a. — 
Gaukmen, you might ha' found some other citizen 
to hiTc nude a kind gull on besides my husband. 

Cur. Pray, geniletnen, take her to be a woman ; 
Do Dot regard her language. — O, kind soul, 
S«di irords will drive away my customers. 
Vro. Ctutomers with ft murrain ! call you these 

Cu. Patience, good wife. {^CtUt the lamt. 

Vio. Pax" a' your patience! 
Gio. 'Sfoot, mistress, I warrant these are some 
dmcing companions.' 
CiB. Look you, gentleman, there's your ware ; I 
thank yon, 
I hiFe yonr coooey here ; pray know my shop, 
Pnj let me have your custom. 
Vio. Custom, quoth 'a? 
Cak. Let me take more of your money. 
Vio. You had need so. 

Pio. Hark in thine ear ; thou'st tost an hundred 

Cab. Well, well, Iknow't: is't possible that & 
Should be nor man nor woman ? not once mov'd) 
Ko, not at such an injury, not at all 1 
Sure he's a pigeon, for he has no gall. 

FtD. Come, come, you're angry, though you 
smother U ; 
You're vex'd, I'faith ; confess. 

Cas. Why, gentlemen, 
Should you conceit me to be vex'd or moT'd? 
He has ray ware, I have his money for't. 
And that's no argument I'm angry j no, 
The best logician cannot prove me so. 

Flu. O, but the hateful name of a penn'orth of 

And then cut out i' th' middle of the piece I 

Pah, I guess it by myself, ['t]would move a lamb, 

Were he a linen-draper, 'twould, i'faith. 

C.\N. Well, give me leave to answer you for tliat : 
We are set here to please all customers, 
Their humours and their fancies ; ofiend none : 
We get by many, if we leese" by one. 
May be his mind stood to no more than that ; 
A penn'orth serves hitu : and 'mongst trades 'tis 

Deny a penn'orth, it may cross a pound. 
O, he that means to thrive, with patient eye 
Must please the devil, if he come to buy ! 
Flu. O wond'rous man, patient 'bove wroB 

)men could he si 

how well my breast is ' 

How blest were men, if i 
Can. And to exprcsi 

And satisfied in all^ — ^George, fill a beaker : 
[Exit Gi 


lExit Gbo^^ 

iMHT'd tm mimn~m»k bm. 

Tn. Ood** mn Oh, 
V« dttD Wfc ul oar gaiw inak out b brakm, 
T»aik«aMBdi frrpcaajworthsoflnnil 

J* a Kff GsoBOS «t(i boftcr. 


a. Hera, wib, Imkb tob to the gaotlonan. 
W I h^ to U«r C4>i& tfe MM 

Co. Owim, flirty mm: 

Tvw arfiuK, aj hrndSioi^ t£al Oiomk. 

A MMM BM UalE'd wiA ■ wMpMi ihiow 1 ■■ 
Fur. A nk«r md gflt besker I I've m trick 
To work upon that be«kn ; lure 'twill fret him ; 
It cannM choose but vex him. [^mie.] — Signor 

^pitj to thee, I have a conceit 
^ BTc thjr fatwdred ducats yet ; 'twill do't, 
Aad «<»k faim to impatience. 

Cu. Sweet FlueDo, 
I dnold be bountiful to that conceit. 
Fu, Well, 'til enoi^h. 

Be-enter GaoaoK tntk beaker. 
Cu. Here, gentleinan, to you ; 
I viih joor cnatom i you're exceeding welcome. 

Cu. I pledge you," signor Candido. — [Drinkt. 
Hoe yon that must receive a hundred ducats. 

' ' tflrigifm] "The fblloiring account of the formtpre- 

^nbed in bollb-driiiking in our lUihoT'i time, is tiken hum 
7W /rM H^tub, tr U* Emgtiik But a~j Crie, b; Barnaby 
lick, 1<S3, PL 21. He cdli it I^ R^Hglf Order lif drinJting 
Jirffli «Mri »r (*• ^tmdalU i^mtagt. • He that beginnea 


Pio, I'll pledge them deqi, i'faith, Castruchi 
Signor Ftuello. [Dr 

FLr. Come, play't off lo me ; 
I am your last man. 

Cak. George, supply the cup. 

[^Exit Geokoe, ffho reltims milk beaker fitted. 

Fn". So, so, good, honest George. — 
Here, signor Candido, aU this lo you. 

Can. O, you must pardon me; 1 use 

Flc. Will you not pledge me then ? 

Oak. Yes, bui not that : 
Great love is shewn in little. 

Ftf. BlunP on your aeniences ! 
'Sfoot, you shall pledge me all. 

Oak. Indeed I shall not. 

Flu. Not pledge me? 'Sblood, I'll carry 
the beaker then. 


tenance with a Hrave aspecl, hee craves for audience : silence 
tteiijg atice ohlaincd, hee beginnes id breath out the naroe 
peradvenlure of Borne honoUTable penonn^, ihut is north; of 
a lietter regard, titen lo hare hii name pollnted at «□ untitting 
s lime amongst a company of Drunkards: but his health is 
dninke to, and he that pledgeth tnuat likewise offnitb his 
cap. kiase hii fingers, and bowing himtelfe in si^e of s reve- 
rent acceptance r when the Lender sees liis follower (hui pre- 
pared, hee sups up bis broath, curnea the boicoin of the cup 
upward, aud in oaleutation of liia dcxteritie, gives the cup a 
phillip to moke it cry Tu-ango. And thus the first scene is 
acted. The cup being newly repleniihed to the breadth of an 
haire, he ihat ii the pledger must now beginne his psrt, and 
thui it goes round throughoul the whole company, provided 
alwsyet, by a canon set downe by the Founder, there niuti be 
diree at ihe teaat still uncovered, till the healtli hath hod Ibc 
hiU passage: wbich ia no sooner ended, but another begins 
sgaioe, and bee drinkes an Health to bii Ladg 0/ Utile tmrlk. 
or peradvenlure u> his llghl-Mi'il miitrei.' " Reed. 
' Blurl'j Ad ekdamation of contempt, equal to — a fig for. 

IDrinkt. , 
my thumb- 

3RE. SI 

Cjjr. Tbc be&ker I O, that at your pleasure, sir. 
Flv. Now, by iliU drink. I will. 
C*s, Pledge him ; be'll do't else. 
Fiv. So : 1 ha" done you right 
Wbat, will you pled^ me now ? 

Cju(. Vou know me, sir, 
I UQ not of that sin. 

Flo. Why. then, farewell : 
111 bear away ihe beaker, by this light. 

Cas. That's as you please ; 'lis very good. 
Fiv. Nay, it doth please me : and, as you say, 
'tis a »ery good one ; farewell, sjgnor Candido. 
Pio. Fatcwtll, Candido, 
Cav. You're welcome, gentlemen. 
Cas, Heart, not tnov'd yet ? 
1 lliink bis patience is above our wit. 
[Exruat Castruchio, Fluell 
the beaker, and PlOBATTO. 
Geo. I told you before, mistress, they were all 

Vio. Wby, fool ! why, husband ! why, madman ! 
I hope you will not let *em sneak away so with a 
•ilTer and gilt beaker, the beat in the house too. — 
Go, fellows, make hue and cry after them. 
Cak. Pray, let your tongue lie still ; all will be 
Come hither, George ; hie to the constable. 
And in calm order wish' him to attach them ; 

* M ay UnmbiiaiC] In Naih'i Pierce Pemileiii, ■marginal 
■ate nptum the worda " drioke luprr nagultim" to be " a 
dnntc of drinking new come out of Fraunce, nbich ia, after a 
Mao hath tunid rp the bollame of the cup, lo drop it on hii 
iml( uid make a pearie with that ii left, which if it ihed and 
becUDOl make atand on, by reaion there'a too much, bemuil 
dfinke inine for hia pcaance." Sig. F. ed. 1595. 
' wnkj u e, detir;. 

o carrying off 


Make no great atir, because they're genileroei 
And a tiling partly done in merriment : 
'Tia but a size above a jest, thou knowest ; 
Therefore pursue it mildly. Go, begone ; 
The conslable's hard by, bring him along ; 
Make haste again. [_Exit Ge( 

Vio. O, you're a goodly patient woodcock, { 
you not now ? See what your patie 
every one saddles you, and rides you ; you'll be 
shortly the common stone-horse of Milan: a wo- 
man's well holpcd up with auch a meacock.' I had 
rather have a husband that would swaddle' me thrice 
a-day, than auch a one that will be gulled twice in 
half an hour. O, I could burn all the wares in my 
shop for anger ! 

Cas. Pray, wear a peaceful temper ; be my wife, 
That is, be patient ; for a wife and husband 
SJiare but one soul between them : this being known, 
Why should not one soul then agree in onef 

Vio. Hang your agreements! but if my beaker 
be gone [£zt(. 

Can. O, here they come. 

Gbo. The constable, sir, let 'em come along with 
me, because there should be no wondering : he stays 
at door. 

Cas. Constable, goodman Ahra'm !" 

Flu. Now, signor Candido, 'sblood, why do you 
attach us ? 

• ■xoQX'*! " i. e. a timorous, dastardly creature." Recb. 

■ imiJdU] i- e. (trap, best soundly, 

■ gBedataB Jbra'ai] A sort of cant term ; Bcllafroni appliei 
It to Bogsr at p. 88. 


Cau ^hean, tioA us! 
Cam. Najr, fwcar not. gaUnu ; 
Yoor ouka ■■■; »a«e joor wuk, but not move nie : 
Ton bare ■ lihcT bemker of ny iiile't. 
Ftc. Va« laj not true ; 't» g3t. 
Cas. Thra yon ny tmr ; 
Aad being gilt. t}ke gitilt lies more on you. 
Cas. 1 bope yoa'rc ooi angry, sir. 
Cas. Tben yon hope rigbl ; 
Pot rm not iUtgry. 

Pio. No, bat a tittle inor*d. 

Ca5. I taoT'd ! 'twas you were mov'd, you were 

brooght hithei. 
Cab. But TOO, out of your anger and impatience, 
Cus'd us to be atlach'd. 

Cav. Nay, yoa misplace it : 
Oat of my quiet sufferance I did that, 
Aadnot of any wrath. Had I shewn anser, 
I dMHild have then pursu'd you with the Taw, 
And hunted you to afaame ; aa many worldlings 
Do build their anger upon feebler grounds ; 
The nore's the pity ! many lose their lives 
For icarce so much coin as will hide their palm ; 
^Hiidi is moat cruel. Those have vexed spirits 
"Bt pariue lives. In this opinion rest, 
iHe lots of millions could not move my breast. 
Vu). Thou art a blest man, and with peace dost 
^Bch 1 meek spirit can bleas a commonweal. 

Cii. Gentlemen, now 'tis upon eating-time ; 
"*J, part not hence, but dine with me to-day, 

Cai. I never heard a carter yet say nay 
To Qch a motion : 111 not be uie first. 
Pio. Nor I. 
Fmi. Nor I. 
Cab, The constable thai! bear you company — 



George, call htm in. — Let tlie world sa; 
Notliing can drive me from a patient b 


A chamber itt Bellafroht's house. 

Enter Roger niM a stnol, cuihion, looking-glass, ami 
chafing-dit/i ;' tho/ie being set don^i, he pulh out 
of his pocket a phial with white colour in it, and 
two boxes, one niilh ichite, another with red pahu ; 
he places all things in order, and a candle by them, 
tinging the aide of old ballads as he does it. At 
last Bell AiKosT, as he rubs bis cheek xith the 
colours, mhisllcs within. 



about ! 


hole in 

Anon, forsooili. 
[wttAtn] What art 

About 1 

you playing the rogue 
drawing up k 

Oil, forsooth ; I 

e silk stocking, 
my glass there? and my boxes of con^ 
plexion ? 

Roo. Yes, forsooth ; your boxes of complexion 
are here, I think ; yes, 'tis here ; here's your two 
complexions, and if I bad all the four complexions, 
I should ne'er set a good face upon't. Some men, 
1 aee, are born under hard-favoured planets, as well 
aa women. Zounds, I look worse now than I did 
before ! and it makes her face glister most damn- 
ably. There's knavery in daubing, I hold my life ; 
or else this is only female pomatum. 

■ chafirg-di'h'l " Tg Ileal [he poking-ii 


ffaftr Baunan mmfaMn 

you eorid ka>e twjiig ! G«dt ' '£aL 


St-adrr Rosa, n(A ngmdfAn. 
Km. TIirv'« jtMT raff; ikd 1 palu x* 
Biu Yem, htvm Biyi : — M, «3rv ; ynkb 

*^.--domm,—I WMT ^dl ^w^ 
'--' 'i I - .1 ]Tlii fill Mil f nfcif Ji" 


Ml r I < ■ 

^1. Ak dwae yiliif <«U> WR B^ ^«M< <r law B« 

Roo. Trotli, t 
you ehall never nse. 

Bei.. What trade, goodntan Abra'm?* 

Roo, Why, that of" down and arise, or the falling 

Bel. I'll fall with you by and by. 

Rod. If you do, 1 know wlio shall smart for'i. 
Troth, mistress, what do I look like now ! 

Bel. Like as you are; a panderly sixpenny 

Roo. I may thank you for that : in faith, I look 
like an old proverb, Hold the candle before the 

Bel. lid's life, I'll stick my knife in your guit 
and^ you prate to me so ! What ? \_Singt. 

Well met, pug, the pearl of beauli/, umh, vmh, 
Hon now, lir knave f you forget your duly, umA, umh. 
Marry muff,' sir, are you grown to dainty ? fa, la, 

la, Sfc. 
It it you, lir? theworst of tnenty, fa, la. In, leera, la. 
Fox on you, how dost thou hold my glass ? 

Roo. Why, as 1 hold your door, with my fingers. 

Bel. Nay, pray thee, sweet honey Roger, bold 
up handsomely. [5i>^(.* 

Pretty tvantons warble, ^c. 
We shall ha' guests to-day, I lay my little maiden- 
head, my nose itches so. 

Roo. I said so loo last night, when our fleas 
twinged me, 

• gooHman jttra'm'] See note, p. 32. 

» ^] OM e.l«. " if." " anrf] i. e. if. 

' Marrgm>iff'\ An exprcMion ofconlempt, whichfrequentljr 
occun in our enrly wrilere: compare vol. i, p. 238, and note. 

• Singi] •' This word has liilherto been primed ■■ pun ol 
the t«« [" Sing prtllg," he] i but ii it elfarly a BUge-direC- 
liun, leferring to the baLad Bellalrout oaiamencec." Collicb. 


Bei_ So, poke my mff now. Mj gown, nj 
gown ! have I my fall '. wbne's mr fall/ Roger ! 

Roc. Your fall, Cbrftooth, U behind. 

^KmoeUng MTfAiii. 

Bel. God's my pittikinsiF tome fool or otIi«r 

Roo. Shall I open to the fool, mistress? 

Bel. Aod all these baubles tying thus * away 
with it quickly. — Ay, ay, knock and be dunned, 
■hosoever yon be! — So; give the Iresh salmon 
line now ; let him come ashore. [£xi( Roceb.] — 
He shall serve for my breakfast, though he go 

£*ler Fluello, Castkccbio, Piokatto, and Roger. 

Fld. Morrow, coz. 

Cu. How does my sweet acquaintance ? 

Fro. Save thee, little marmoset ;** how dost thou, 
good, pretty rogue ? 

BiL, Well, Godamercy, good, pretty rascal. 

Fld. Roger, some light, I prithee. 

Boo. You shall, signor ; for we that live here in 
i^nle of misery are as dark as hell. [£xit.' 

Cu. Good tobacco, Fluello ? 

fw. Smell. 

no. It may be tickling gear, for it plays with 
^ note already. 

*^(p.t<l). Shaknpeare puts iMif-piMiAriu into the mouth of 
■vljiilTti; diScrenl chancier: ice CynicliW, SKt iv.ic. 2. 

■mHHf] i. e. monke;. 
' tdl] Old cds. " Exit/or a emdtt." 

TOL. lU. E 


Re-enter Roqer »i(A eandlt. 

RoG. Here's another light angel,^ signor. 

Bel. What, you pied curta],' what's that you are 

Koo. I say, God send us the light of heaven, or 
aoTne more angels I 

Bel. Go fetch some wine, and drink half of it. 

Roii. I must fetch some wine, gentlcmeai |M^ 
drink half of it. ^H 

Flu. Here, Roger. ^H 

Cas. No, let me send, prithee. ^^| 

Flu. Hold, you canker-worm. 

Roo. You shall send both, if you please, sl^ort. 

Pio. Stay, what's best to drink a' mornings ? 

Roo. Hippoeras," sir, for my mistress, if I feteh 
it, is most dear to her. 

Flu. Hippocras? there then, here's a teston" for 
you, you snake. [^^^ S"^^ money, 

RocT. Right, sir ; here's three shillings sixpence 
for a pottle and a manchet." \Exit. 

Cas. Here's most Hercidanean tobacco: ha' some, 

Bel. Faugh, not 1 1 makes your breath stink like 
the piss of a fox. Acquaintance, where supped you i 
last night? 

Cas. At a place, sweet acquaintance, where your 

^ an^lher tight oagtQ Angel wsi a gold coin vorlh about 
10 ihiUinfs. Cempate Dekktr's Saiirm-malii, 1001, '■ I ntarkt, 
bj Ihii Candle, kMcH it kohi nf GmTi AngcU:' Sig. c. 


muk-otclMT ! it's iW J 

Pm. Wdl, I 
Wi ■ nbde fixrf. ' 

Bo. Ay, and be h» fiMi i : ^Jg ft&>c Av^ 
find kn^it>,4 1 OMPC abde ifa* fe tfeaaii nL 

Cu. Wliy, trcocb! bkM^bBi* 

Bu. Ha^ hia, hell kn K«c m W m Umck, 
Mto t]K credit u hare Kik* afcaw Uk: xdt 
^tttoihtTe 'aa: fact Hmciowcwmc^^U' ^ 
cauK kn^fadiaod, beone Ws ^A Ik M dfo- 
sn't niglit-gown, bccd mil wiifc cmk' htSm^ ^ni 

'UtaMrwl A jMit mi liilj Imi. hunafc «■ 
MM b, «. art; niMEi ; - A* ■• Ik >^ adE k apfKB. 
QlhcnB^ ia tke Opos -"- ' ■ - - - sHactf 
nnd, nd cooauiiBf ■ dan i^t^At'Ci inr, -m k 

<igta hut b) cark," fee HjiakM*** AA ^JfaK^ aO. «■. 

' nn't] Sc<enl nb. - I M»rm-t.- 

"'^uti u aigmit m amanm amam^imr tMXM. 

tton tin be be radj U Imnc, b«t tbe lean-jawed 
' alare will mot pay ibr the *»j»t» i i>g otim treai^r. 

Pta. Plague htm ; aet ban beacatli die alt,* and 
In luiB not touch a bit till ereTj me baa bad hu 

fix. VorA EBo, the geukoMB-nafaa, cane lato 
tts too : maTTy. 'twas in our cbeece, for he bad been 
to borrow nuoey (or bit lord of a dnaen. 

Caa. What an ua b that lord to borrow moDey 
ota dtizen! 

Bel. Say, God's my piir, what aa ass ta that 
citiicfi to lend mooey to* a lord ! 

Enter Matheo and Hippolito ; Htrroum, laimling 
the crnnpauy a* a ttrangrr, it«llu off.'' RooBR 
eomtf in tadly behind ihe^ with a poltU-pol, tutd 
ttandt aloof off.' 
Mat. Save you, gallanis. Signor Fluello, ex- 
ceedingly well met, as I may say. 

Flu. Signor Matheo, exceedingly well met too, 
u I may say. 

' twttl OUv€r'\ " It majr be Jual worth oouciDfr, (h«I this 
rpithci ilmotl tl*in kccompuiirs ihe menaon »( this gratle 
rival of the mul OrUnito ■□ iuat." Ciffonl't dow do B. Jod- 
•on'a IFtrlu, fat i. p. 9i. 

• •>) Una bemntk Ikt talt] " This refcn to the maiuieT in 
which our uuerton were mted ■! their inoli. ' The ubles 
baing Ion;,' n.j* Mr. Whillejr, note to Cynlhia'4 Snrti, ad ii. 
K. 3, [k. I.]. ' the sail [i. e. uli-fellar — of a irery Ursv uiej 
wu rommonljr pliced about the middle, uid serrnl u ■ kind 
uf boundary to the diSerent quality of the gvetit inriled. 
ThoM! of dlitinctioD were ranked abore ; the space below wu 

' aaai^neil to the dependeDU oi iafeiior relalioni of the msster 
uf itie liouie.' " Reen. 

< t«] So some eds. First ed. ■■ of." 

• walki «/■] i. e- retires behind. 

• nfiHi/'^] Thii expression is twice used by Middldon in 
Uirh—lmat Ttm (see toL L pp. 4S7, 469), and its repetibca 

nn Honn wsotX. 41 

Mas. Ami how &rM mjr little pnttf niitreM T 
BcL E'Mi ■> my UtUe pretty Kirut ; ■««■ three 
«aA>4iAee befinc her, and not one good bit in 
ft^ llw iMm ' why the devil Uandest thou tot 
Bm. Tc% lotMolh. 
Bn. WI7 doat not fill oat dinr winet 
loa. Foraooth, 'tia filled oat already : all the 
viae that Ae ■gaon have* beitowed upon you ia 
wtai«qr; a porter ran a litde* at me, and ao &Gcd 
M da«» that I had not a dr^ 

Bn. m accnraed to let each a withered arti- 
Aeke-&eed naeal grow mtder my noae : now you 
look like an old he-cat going to the gallows. Ill 
be banged if he ha' not put up the money to cony' 
dich' u* all. 
Roo. No, truly, forsooth, 'tis not put up yet. 
Biu How many gentlemen hast thou served 

Roo. None but five hundred, besides prentices 
nd Hrring-men. 

BiL. Doat think I'll pocket it up at thy hands I 

Roo. Yes, foraooth, I fear you will pocket it up. 

Bel-^w, fie, cut my lace, good servant ; I shall 
ka* dte mother' presently, I'm so vexed at this 

Flo. Plague, not for a scald' pottle of wine ! 

ha< ■■ a ilubt confinutiaD (if uij were Deeded) of the cor- 
r t i *— — of ficmlowe'i naument : vide p. 3. 

* tigmri ktmi] Fint two edi. " ligmor." Otben, " rig- 
Man/' AU, " ku." 

' btfc] Spelt in the fint two edi.'*btlei" theTcfore qy. 

> cMycaCel] See note, p. IS. 
T mttktr'] L e. hntencal paMiOD. 

• (caU] L e^ palRT : see note, p. IS. 

Mat. Nay, i 


Cas. Here, Roger, fetch more. [CiVs money to 
BooER-] — A mischance, i'faiti), acquainlance. 

Bel. Out of my sight, thou ungodly, puritanical 

Roo. For the t'other pottle ? yes, forsooth. 

Bel. Spill that too. lExH Rooer.]— What gen- 
tleman" is that, servant ? your friend ? 

Mat. Gods so ; a stool, a stoo) ! If you love me, 
mistress, entertain this gentleman respectively,** and 
bid him vtelcome. 

Bbl. He's verv welcome. —Pray, sir, sit. 

Hip. Thanks, iady. 

Flu, Count Hippolito, is't not? Cry you mercy, 
signor ; you walk here all this while, and we not 
heard you I Let me bestow a stool upon you, be- 
aeech you ; yoit are a stranger here, we kiow the 
fashions a' th' house. 

Cas. Pleaseyoubehere, my lord? {^Offers tobaccc. 

Hit. No, good Castruchio. 

Flu. You have abandoned the court, I see, my 
lord, since the death of your mistress : well, she was 
a delicate piece— Beseech you," sweet, coA, let us 
serve under the colours of your acquaintance still 
for b\\ that — Please you to meet here at the" lodging 
of my coz, I shall bestow a baiitjuet upon you. 

Hip. 1 never can deserve this kindness, sir. 
What may this lady be whom you call coz ? 

Flu. Faith, sir, a poor gentlewoman, of passing 

• IFia(ff«B«r»H Here the last edilor of Dodsleyimerwd 
a Bttge-direciion, " £"(•"■ //i/W'c." which he layi it abgo- 
luwlj nei;e«»r)r ■ bul see note, p. 40. 

<• mptcliMlg} i. e- reBpeelfully ! compBre vol. i. p. 425. 

• Btatch you, &«■] Belliifroni, 1 supuoae, liaviog ihewn 
" ' tt the cammendatioQ uf Infelice. 

me displcuute »i 
I iht] Oldeds." 


Mat. How ^ ji 
Ra. Wen, tm s 

MRreti be not jom > 

iRii gaitleiDeii ; ure juv wuL 

Mat. 'Sfoot, joa ihaD bM Ion mt. 

m. The genilemm likes boc the U 


^Beaeedi 70a. v*j. 

Elip. Tnm me, m j a&in betkam Sor me ; par- 


Uai. Win yon caD for Bw half u faov bnce 

Hip. Perbaps I thaO. 

Hat. Perhaps t fk«^! I kaow jo* am twtar 
to me yon will. 

Hit. Since you will [itcm 

le, on mjr word, I wiH. I 

BiL. VlbM BuUen picture is this, servsnt I 

Mat. It's count Hippoliio, the bnve counc 

Fio. Ai gallant a spirit as any in ^lilan. you 
iweet Jew. 

Flc. O, he's a most essential gentleman, coz '. 

Ca*. Did you nerer hear of count Hippolito, ac- 
quaintance ? ° 

Bet. Marry muff* a' your counts, and' be no 
more life in 'em. 

Mat. He's so malcontent, BJirah* Bellafront. — 
And' you be honest gallants, let's sup together, and 
have the count with us: — thou ahalt sit at the 
upper end, punk. 

Bel. Punk? you soused jturnel !" 

Mat. King'§ truce : come, I'll bestow the supper 
to liBve him but laugh. 

Cas. He betrays tits youth too grossly to that 
tyrant melancholy. 

Mat. All this is for a woman. 

Bel. a woman? some whore! what sweet jewel | 

Pio. Would she heard vou ! 

Fm. Troth, so would i. 

Cas. And I. by heaven. 

Del. Nay, good servant, what woman? 

Mat. Pah ! 

Bel. Prithee, tell me ; a buss, and tell me : 1 
warrant be's an honest fellow, if be take on thus 
for a wench : good rogue, who ? 

' Hippel4la,iiemaoi , 

• Marry m^if] Se' DOte, p. 36, 

OJd edi. " Hipalitoi acquaintince." 
. r. 36. ' „rf] L e. it 

- marry m^ j *— v .**■ 

« riiToA] Often applied to women ; compare t 
' yuH niufd gutnitl "An ippelliliDn of canlempt very 
qucDCl; employed in the old comediei." Reed. 


, must not, faith, mia- 
night at ih' Antelope ; 
n, for there's best wine and good boys. 

Caj. [it's done; at th' Antelope. 
Pio. ) 

Bel. 1 cannot be there to-night. 
Mat. Cannot ? by th' lord, you shall. 
Bel. By the lady, I will not: shaall!'' 
Flb. Why, then, put it off till Friday : wu't come 

ihee, c 


Bel. Well. 

Re-enter Rooeb. 
Mai. You're the waspishest ape 1— 

)ger, put 
1 mind to sup with us on Friday 
nexi.— You're best come like a inadworaan, with- 
mt a band, in your waistcoat,' and the linings of 
your kirtle outward, like every common hackney 
dut steals out at the back gate of her sweet knight's 

Bel. Go, go, bang yourself! 

Cas. It'a dinner-time, Matheo ; shall's hence ? 


Flu. (Yea, yea. — Farewell, wench. 

Pio. J 

Bel. FareweU, boys. [Exeunt all except Bella- 
tioRT and RooBR.] — Roger, what wine sent they 

Roo. Bastard wine ;' for if it had been truly be- 

* ikaall] So ipelt in the first two edi., to mark the pro- 

r upper 

' M ym- vatttnai] L e. (ag Nbtm rightly expisins 
Mge, Ofsu. in T.) in that alone, without a gown o 
dren. Low proitiUites were generally to attired, ■ 
kenc* called laauleoatttri. 

I Bntari itiw] In a note, yol. ii p. 347, I have uid that 

p i 




^^H gotten, 
^H Here'! 

it would not ha' been ashamed to c 


six shillings, to pay t»r nursing ihe bastard. | 


A company of rooks ! O good 



run to the pouUer's,^ and buy me so 

me fine 

No woodcocks 1 


Yes, faith, a couple, if they be not dear. 1 

^H Roo 

I'll buy but one ; there's one" already here. | 


Re-enUr Hifpolito. 


la the gentleman my friend dep&ited, mis- | 

tresa ? 

^H BsL 

His back is but new turn'd, sir. 

^H Hip 

Fare you well. 

^H Bel 

I can direct you to him. 


Can you, pray ? 

^H Bei 

If you please, stay, he'll not be absent long. | 

^H Hir 

I care not much. 

^H Bei 

Pray sit, forsooth. 

^H Htp 

I'm hot : [Lnys aside h 


^^H in' may use your room, I'll rather walk. 

^B Bel 

At your best pleasure — Wliew — some rub- | 

hers there ! 

^H Hir 

Indeed, I'll none, indeed I will not : 

tfaanki. J 

H Pretty 

fine lodging. I perceive my friend 


^B Is old 

Iroth, sir, he comes 


^B Bel 


^^H As other gentlemen, to spend spare hours ; 


^H of tlie c(ninlri« whicit l>order the Medilmanran 


^H equally 

ertflin," obaiTves Hcoderioni who suppot 

^^H appruac 

ed lo the muscadel wine in flavour, and 

nas made 

^B bom a 

if Wina, 

^H pp.3I>0.1. 

^H J/»i'( 

rr'i] i. e. poulterer's. 

^H "<] 

terrofor ' 

^H afaolUhr^llaw. 

^1 ''I 

oMVeraleda. Not in first ed. 




, dally nidi you, kisa: 
I leave him, and love me? 
iio man, air. 

if any, i 

IfToonelf like onr roof, such as it is, 
Vanr own acqunintance may be as old as his. * 

Hir. Say I did like, nhai nclcome should I lind? 
BcL. Siidi as my present fortunes can afford. 
Hir. But would you let Tnc play Matheo's pari t 
Bii. What part ? 
Mir. WHiy. eaihrace i 
Filth, tell me, wtU yui 
ISeu I am in bonds ii 
Itir. Wby then 
I'u'rt free for any n 
: 1'. 1 raost icll you, lady, were you n 
\ ov tkould be all mine ; I could brook t 
'. 'iiMld be covetouR, and sweep up »ll ; 
I 'VfMld be pleasure's usurer, iailh, 1 should. 

Biu O fate! 
I Hir. Why sigh you, lady 1 may I know ? 

It. Thai never been my fortune yet to single 
that one man whuse love could fellow mine, 
U 1 hate ever wisb'd il. O my stars I 
d I bat met with one kind gentleman . 

u would have purcbax'd sin alone to himself ' 
'his Dwn primic u»e, although scarce proper,* 
Ntflmnt handsome, meetly legg'd and ibigh'd, 
W By aUowanee reasonable, i'faith, 
ARconUng; to my body, by my troth, 
I Kinilil have been as true unto his pleasures, 
^ ta md a* loyal to his aftenMons, 
'.1 ever a poor genilcwoinan could be. 
H». This were well uour to one but newly 
And scarce a day old in this subtle world ; 
IVnv pretty art, good bird-lime, cuniiinf; net. 
U-Jt coroe, come, failb. confess ; bow many men 

' p^<r] t. t. ptnonabU. 

Hsve drunk this setf-same protestation 
• From that red 'ticing hp ? 

Bel. Indeed, not any. 

Hip. Indeed, and blush not ? 

Bel. No, in truth, not anv. 

Hip. Indeed 1 in truth ! — Tiow warily you swear ! 
Tis well, ir ill it be not ; yet had I 
The ruffian in me, and were draivn before you 
But in light colours, 1 do know indeed, 
Vou could not stvear indeed, but thunder oaths 
That should shake heaven, drown the harmonious 

And pierce a soul that lov'd her maker's honour 
With horror and amaKment. 

Bel. Shall I swear ? 
Will you believe me then ? 

Hip. Worst then of all; 
Our sins by custom seem at last but small. 
Were I but o'er your threshold, a next man. 
And after him a next, and then a fourth, 
Should liave this golden hook and lascivious bait 
Thrown out to tlie full length. Why, let me tell you, 
I ha" seen letters sent from that white hand, 
Tuning such music to Matlieo's ear. 

Bbl. Matheo 1 that's true ; but, believe it, I 
No sooner Iiad laid hold upon your presence. 
But straight mine eye convey'd you to ray heart. 

Hip. O, you cannot feign with me ! Why, 1 
know, lady, 
This is the common paaslon of you all, 
To hook in a kind gentleman, and then 
'Abuse his coin, conveying it to yt 
And in the end you shew him a French Irick^J 
And so you leave him. that a coach may run 7 
Between his legs fo^breadth. 

Bel. O, by my loul, 

rae aoxssT waoK>. 49 

Mot I ! tbernn VU prove an honest •iIkwv, 
Ii being tnse to one. and to no more. 

Hit. If any be dispos'd to trust your oath, 
Im bim ; III not be he : I know you feign 
An that you speak ; ay, for a mingled harlot 
Ittme in nothing bui in being false. 
IHiat, shall I leach you how to losihe yourarff. 
And mildly too, not wiilroui sense or reason ? 

BcL. I am content ; I would fain loaiLe mjrwtC 
If TOD not loTe me. 

Hip. Then if your gracious blood 
Be not all wasted, I shall assay to do'l : 
Lend me your silence and attention. 
Yon have no soul, that makes you neigh so light ; 
Heaven's treasure bought il, 
And half-a-crown hadi sold tt ; for your body 
I) like the common- shore, that still receives 
All the town's filth ; the sin of many men 
Ii within you : and thus much I suppose. 
That if all your committers stood in rank. 
They'd make a lane, in which your shame might 

And with their spaces reach from hence to hell. 
Niy, shaJl I urge it more ? there have™ been known 
As many by one harlot maim'd and dismembeT'd 
As wonld ha' stuflTd an hospital : this I might 
Apply to you, and perhaps do you right. 
0, yon're as base as any beast that bears ! 
Your body is e'en hir'd, and so are theirs : 
For gold and sparkling jewels, if he can. 
You'll let a Jew get yon with Christian ; 
Be be a Moor, a Tartar, though his face 
I-ook uglier than [doth] a dead tnan's skull ; 
Could the devil put on a human shape, 

■■ fcatw] Old eds. " haa." 


If U* pane Aafce ok cumsk, ap tka be g 

Wbera vin W rid M bcfl wkh goUm hiti : 
80 iW 3PV«'n cracAB Aaa Tu^s, fer i^ 

WbjTi ihoM ifctf Im fOB hue joa, and wiU a 

LteMuTd _ 

After the mi k kid twit, snd 

Titrir fivtllcaa nM ; tor what one be^ns, 

AnotliCT poraofu ; last and nmrder hit : 

A tree being ofun ibook, wfa&t fruit cm knit 

Bst. O me nnhapp; 

Hir. I can vex yoti 1 
A liarloc i* like Dtmkirk, true to none 
StvaUuwn both Engtisli, Spaniili, fulsome Dm 
Back^-iloor'd Italian, U»i of all, ilie French, 
And he nick!! u> you, faith, gives you your diet, 
Bring* you wriguaintiil first with monsieur doctor, 
And then you know nbat follows. 

Rank, stinking, and most loathsome misery 1 

Hir. Mcthinks a toad is happier than a whore ; 
That with one poison swells, with thousands more 
The other stocks her veins. Harlot ? fle, fie ! 
You arc the raiscrablest creatures breathing. 
The very slaves of nature ; mark me else : 
You put on rich attires, others' eyes wear them ; 
You eat but to supply your blood with sin ; 
And this strange curat: o'en haunts you to your 

Proni fouU you get, and spend it upon slaves : 
Like hears and apes, you're baited and stiew tricks 
For money ; hut your bawd the sweetness Uckii 
Indued, yuu are their journey women, and do 
All base and damn'd works they list set you ' 
" Bmi] Uld eds. 


So that jrou ne'er are rich : for do but shew me. 
In present memory or in ages past. 
The fairest snd most famous courtesan. 
Whose flesh was dear'st ; that raia'd the price of sin 
And held it up ; to whose intemperate bosom 
Princes, earls, lords — the worst has been a knight, 
TTie mean'st a gentleman — have ofl'er'd up 
Whole hecatombs of sighs, and rain'd in ahowera 
Handfuls of gold ; yet for all this, at last 
Diseases xuck'd her marrow ; then grew so poor, 
That she has begg'd e'en at a beggar's door ; 
And (wherein heaven has a finger) when this idol 
From coast to coast has leap'd on foreign shores. 
And had more worship Uuu tfa' ontlandiah whorei ; 
When seTcnJ nadons have gone over her ; 
When for each several city she has seen. 
Her maidenhead has been new, and been sold dear, 
Did live well there, and might have died unknown 
And undefam'd ; back comes she to her own, 
And there both miserably lives and dies, 
Scom'd even of those that once ador'd her eyes ; " 

* ador'd ker lyfi] " In ■ pamphlet attributed to Robert 
GiWDi, called Tkttvu faUing out Tntnteu cont by their gaodt, 
priaud io IfllS, sad probsbl; ewlier, there ia a itor; en- 
titled ' Hie CoDvenian of an Engliib Curteun,' wbich, in 
•one pointa, bean a roemblaDce la a main incident in Ihia 

£j. Her coDTemon ia wrought bf a young man who visiti 
u in 'the way of her trade:' at bia requeil she takea him 
ialo a dark loft, under pretence that he cannot bear (o commit 
' the act of lia ' in the light ; but atiUthe day peepa in through 
a hole in the roof: on hia ctrmplaining that it was not quite 
deck, (he replies, thst ' none hut God could lee them.' Hence 
br takes occaaion u> read ber a lecture very aimilar to that of 
Bippi^to in Dekker. ' Oh [ thou art made beautiful, fur, and 
•cU foTmed, and wilt thou then by thy Slthy lutt make thy 
body, wbicb irthou be honeit ia the temple of God, the hahi- 
' a of the Devil I ' In one place be lays,—' But guppoae 


As if her falsi -circled life thus ran, — 
Her pride aliould end there nhere it first began. 
What, do you weep to hear your story read ? 
Nay, if you spoil your cheeks, I'U read no more. 

Bel. O yes," I pray, proceed ! 
Indeed 'twiU do me good to vreep, indeed ! 

Hip. Tu give those tears a relish, this 1 add : 
You're like the Jews scatter'd, in do place certain ; 
Your days are tedious, your hours burdensome j 
And nerc't not for full suppers, midnight revels. 
Dancing, wine, riotous meetings, which do drown 
And bury quite in you all virtuous thoughts. 
And on your eyelids hang so heavily 
They have no power to look so high as beaven. 
You'd sit and muse on nothing but despair. 
Curse that devil lust that so burns up your blood. 
And in ten thousand shivers break your glass 
For his temptation. Say you taste delight, 
To hare a golden gull from rise to set 
To mcte° you in his hot luxurious^ arms ; 
Yet your nights pay for all : I know you dream 
Of warrants, whips, and beadles ; and then start 
At a door's windy creak ; tliink every weasel 
To be a constable, and every rat 
A long'tail'd officer. Are you now not slaves ? 
O, you've damnation without pleasure for it 1 
Such is the state of harlots. To conclude : 
When you are old, and can well paint no more. 
You turn bawd, and are then worse than before. 
Make use of this : farewell. 

Bel. O, 1 pray, stay ! 

ihdl be loBthed BDil Jeipiacd cvrrn of them ihsl prorrMed moct 
love unto lliee.' After titv h«» been ihorouglily rerormed, he 
luarriei Iter." Colli ek. 

» O yei, Sc] An imperfecl couplet : 
vol. ii. pp. 7, 807. , , . " ■«"'] >■ 

ffonld all tlie harlota in the tows hmi Wac4 me ! 

BtL. Suy 7et s lirtle lan^icrl Ka! qsne tomtt 
Cm'd be tba: mintiie — for it «a« no bove. 
So KHMi a mud is chang'd into > "btvc — 
Wlwnin 1 fint f«U ! be it for rrer bbet ! 
Yet wfay ihould iweet Himlilo ■! 
For whose true tore I wooid becM 
Hale the world's mixturea Mid tfcc Hnin of pU. 
Am I not fait I whv thould be Uj ae tben * 
Fkb creatures are desir'd, not weani'4 tt mem. 
Row many gdlants hare dnnk bnhlH to me 
Oui of their dagger'd amu,^ nd tbo«gfat tbcv UeM, 
Enjoyinff but mine p_vm at prodigal f^OM* ' 
And doea Hippolito deteat my Mve ? 

tore their heedlcM Inata but fl«ter'd me ! 

1 am not pleasing, beantifal, nor yoimg : 
Hippolito bath spied some o^j Uemish, 
EdipatDg all my beauties ; I am fool : 
Harlot T ay, that's the spot that taints my soaL 
What, ha* he lef^ his weapon here behind htm. 
And gcwe forgetful? O fit instmroent' 

To let forth all the poison of my flesh ! 

Thy master hates me 'cause my blood hath mg'd ; 

But when 'tis forth, then bell beUere I'm diaag'd. 

At the it about to $lab kerulf re-tnUr 
Hip. Mad woman, what an doing? 
Bkl. Either lore me, 

r f ] So cd. 10IU. Not in oUwr nb. 
* iagger'd onu] S«e aou, ToL iL p. 99. 
' fFft^ iaiitl^ln wnv" k» bekimd Um, 
^adgtttforgi^r OJUimnmnl] Ed. IMPS hM Oalr 
"Buwtapiml^httrtr Oft itlntmat." 



Or Bplit my heart upon** thy rapier's point. 
Yet do not neither ; for thou then destro; ' 
That which I love thee for, thy v 
[Give, . 
Thou'rt crueller, and kill'st me * 
To die so sheds no blood, yet 'ti 

Not speak to me?' 
Hated ; this must 
Would alt whores ' 

Here, here ; 

Wrd to HiPPOLlTO. 

ith disdain : 

\_Eril HiPPOLiTO. 
not bid farewell ? b acorn ? 

I'll try. 
IS I! (Ejt 


Candido's Shop. 

Cahdido, Viola, Georoe, and two Prenticet dit- 

covered: Fustioo enters, walking by.* 

Geo. See, gentlemen, what you lack?' a fine 
holland, a fine cambric : see what you buy. 

First P. Holland fur shirts, cambric for bands ; 
what is't you lack ? 

Pus. 'Sfoot, I lack 'cm all ; nay, more, I lack 
money to buy 'em. Let me see, let me look again : 
mass, this is the shop. [Wnrfe.]— What, cok, sweet 
coE I how dost, i'faith, since last night after cand}e- 
light? we had good s^ort, i'faith, had we not ? xai 
when shall's laugh again ? 

Vio. When you will, cousin. 

Pus. Spoke like a kind Lacedemonian I I see 
yonder's thy husband. 

1 tplil «» S'of' Bp™] Ed. 1003, " cleaue my boiome on." 

• Kafptakleme? no( biU/arcwell? oico™.'] Ed. 1605, 

" Kol ifirakt tu mr .' uol looke 1 not bid farewell !" 

• nmUing by] It must he rememhcred Ihnt the sbopi in 
London (and of London only our autliora tiiought) were tot' , 
wwriy " open" (see stage-direction, vol. ii. p.463), « " 
sembled booth) or itnlli at a fair. 

> ivAof y™ *"■*] See uoto, p. H. 


Vn. Ay, thcre't the aweet yonth, God bless him ! 

Fci. Awl bow u't, cousin? and bow, bow 11% 
dm aqnaQ !' 

Vio. Well, cousin : bow fare yon ? 

Fn. How fare I T trotb, for sixpence a-meal, 
wcncfa, u weD as heart can wish, with calTes' cbal- 
dtons' and chiuerlings ; besides, I have a punk 
ifier supper, as good as a roasted apple. 

Cam. Are jon my wife's cousin ? 

Fes. I am, sir : what hast thou to do with that I 

Cix, O, nothing, but you're welcome. 

Fl-9. The devil's dung in thy tecih ! I'll be wel- 
come whether thou wilt or no, I. — What ring's this, 
coi ! verv preilv and fantastical, i'faitli : lei's see it. 

Vio. Pooh! nav, vou wrench mv fin.ier. 

Fls. I ha- swotn I'll ha't. and 'l hoW vou w,U 
not let my oaths be crackt-d in the ring.' will you ? 
fSti:ef lite ring.'] — I hope, sir, you are not mali- 
thoUy' at this, for all your great looks : are you 

Cas. Angry ? not I, sir : nay, if she can part 
So easilv with her ring, 'lis with mv heart, 

GEO-'SufTer this, sir, and suffer all : a whoreson 
gull to 

Can. Peace, George : when she has reap'd what 
I have so«n, 
She'll say one grain lastes better of her own 
Than whole sheaves gaiher'd from another's land : 
Wit's never good till bought at a dear hand. 

,j„./;] This 

word, which 

seems to 

b« equival 

^h, i« by no t 

neans com mo 

■a: MidJUtt 

n <.«, for m 

lunce, vol. i. 

p. 4.11) i »i 

t ii »nother pr 

oof («e note. 


he «ai con 


'haldro:,^ Ur 

e. particula 

r cnirsili. 

eraekrd in ll.t 

ring'\ See no 

le, vol. LL p. 


corruption of 

Sk. p. StK, WBK, KE, «, M ja« MK 
ihCT ds WNiMf bM bN. 

Cm*. Ho HNivr, In *c« : «ka I bMcb Ikt Ira 

1 ikn Mt ftd 1m kMM,' ■■, M> ■» 

Aay offccrHp: nobnaii kMag tm. 

Lock Utjaar hwiwrM, I**[f iMke op yonr vmm. 

Fci. Tradi. cox. and well nwaiil 1 ; I •mold 

AOB wdoUm give nw fire jmtiU of law, to nuke 
nv mnk wme bllng-lMBdi> a' the bshian ; tluee 
tuUng one ■poa maoihet, fer tktf's die new edttioD 
mnr : •!■«'• o«tt of ItDCB bonibly too ; traih, tha's 
iwT«r I good nnock to her b*^ aehlier, boi otte 
that baa a great tnany patches in't, and that Tm 
fain to tfftar nnraelf for want of shift too: prithee, 
pat aif ioto wholesoUK napery,* and bestow aome 
cloan commoditiea apoo ut. 

Vtu. Reach me thoce cambriea 'and the lawna 

Ci,n. What to do, wife ! 
To larith out roj goods upon a fool T 

Ftri. Fool f 'Soaih, eat the fool, or til so hatter 
f onr crowD thai it shall tcsrce go (or fire shillings. 

/ tlhAlI H( jWf jyi Hwf] " iBiuwd tr Shafcttpcarr ia OiMb, 
•ei lii to- *■ 

• t ilrpl dw Dcxl nigitit wO, wm &t« ud aein; 

ir Ihirc be uij imitMMa id the n*r, I bdine it M be ««i the 
piui of Dekker or UhUImh. Mtieme ulooutdr ammei 
111* produclion at OUulU id lliOt, h*Ti^ ■acntaiaei (qb what 
■rldcnec oe luww not} that it mta Ktol id thai jtaz : but if 
'- 'm Imiuied In th* preMnt fiii^ic. it man hMn ' 


Sk. p. Do you bear, sir ! you're best be (|uiei, 
■nd My a fool tells you so. 

Fn. Naila, 1 think so, for thoti tellest me. 

Cak. Are you angry, sir, because I natn'd the 
Tnut me, you are not nise, in mine onrn bouse 
And 10 my face to play the antic thus : 
If you'U needs pUy the madman, choose a stage 
Of lesser compass, where few eyes may noto 
Your action's error ; but if still yoti miss, 
As here you do, for one clap, ten will hiss. 

Frs. Zounds, cousin, he talks to me ss if I were 
« scurry tragedian ! 

Sec. p. Sirrah George, I ha' thought upon a 
derice, how to break his pate, beat him soundly, 
ud ship bim away. 

Geo. Do't. 

Sec. p. Ill go in, pass thorough the house, eive 
■ome of our f^ow -prentices the watch-word t^en 
diey shall enter ; then come and fetch my master in 
bj a wile, and place one in the hall to hold him in 
conference whilst we cudgel the gull out of his 

Geo. Do't ; away, do't. [_Exit Secoitd Prentice, 
Vio. Must 1 call twice for these cambrics and 
lawns 7 
Cak. Nay, see, you anger ber ; George, prithee, 

FiasT P. Two of the choicest pieces are in the 
warehouse, sir. 
Cak. Go fetch them presently. 
Fds. Ay, do ; make naate, sirrah. 

[Exit First Prentice. 
Can. Why were you such a stranger all this 
Being my wife's cousin 1 


c-Xandi'll thrum jfoa: — do you see this cambric, 

\«%. ffliftt, not my men, I Iiope ? 

Fii. So, not yuur men, but one of your men, 

■ luth, 

i i«»T P. I pray, nt, come hither : what say you 
" ihii r here'a° an excellent good one. 
lit. Ay, marry, this like*'' me well ; cut me off 
vt k>lf>seoTC yardi. 

.'■Lc, P. Lei yotir whoT«B ciit ; you're sn impu- 
'M coxcomb; you get nooe, and yel I'll thrum 
— a very fftoA cambric, air. 

Ajain, again, ua God judae me! 'sfoot, 
:ind thrummini; here with me all day, 

. I'. A word, I pray, sir ; you must not be 
;f J ; prenticfa have hot bloods, youcifj; fellows — 

■ ii ny you to ihii piece 7 look you. 'tis so delU 
-t, to koft, so even, so fine a. tlircad, that a lady 

aij «tar it. 

It*. 'Sfoot, I think so ! if a knight marry my 
punk, a lady •lial! wear it : cut mc off twenty yards ; 
ihM'n an himciii lad. 

Dt wilhaui money, gull, and I'll thrum 

ict* [wilWa]. Gull, we'll thrum you ! 
O lord, sister, did you not hear something 
loimds, your men here make a plain 

Vio. WLai, Id my face bo impudent ? 
~ . Ay, in a cause so honest ; we'll not sufler 
uter's good« to vanish moneyless. 
You will not suffer them ! 
P. No ; and you may blush, 

• Jm****] So *4. 160£. Oihcr fiIl " here." 

Vio, Take away those pieces. 
Cousin, 1 give tliem freely. 

Fus. Mass. and I'll take 'em aa freely. 
Geo., First and Sec. P., and other Prentices 
B.II3HING IN. We'll make you lay 'em donn again 
raore freely, 

{^They all attack Fustiqo rritk their clubs. 
Vio. Help, help ! my brother will be murdered. 

Rc-mler Can dido. 
Can. How now, what coil la here ? forbear, 1 aay I 
{Exeunt all the Prentices except ike First 
and Second. 
Geo. He calls us flat-cnps, and abuses us. 
Can. Why, airs, do such examples How from me ? 
Vio. They're of your keeping sir. — Alas, poor 

brother 1 
Fes. i'faith, they ha' peppered me, sister ; look, 
dost not spin 1 call you these prentices 7 I'll ne'er 
play at cards more when clubs is trump : 1 have a 
goodly coscomb, sister, have 1 not ? 

Can. Sister, and brother? brother to my wife? 
Fus. If you have any skill in heraldry, you may 
soon know that ; break but her pate, and you shall 
see her blood and mine is all one. 

Can. a surgeon ! run, a surgeon ! [Exit First 
Prentice.'] — Why then wore you 
That forged name of cousin ? 

Fus. Because it's a common thing to call cok' 
and ningle' now-a-days all the world over. 

ite, vol. ii. p. 49S. — So 

Cak. CousiD ! 
A name of much deceit, folty, and sin ; 
For under thai common, abused word, 
Many an hones t-temper'd citizen 
Is made a monaier, and his wife train'd out 
To foul adulterous action, full of fraud : 
I may well call that word a city's bawd. 

fvs. Troth, brother, my sister would needs ha' 
me take upon me to gul) your patience a little ; 
but it has made double gules ^ on my coxcomb. 
Vio. What, playing the woman ! blabbing now, 

you fool ! 
Cak. O, my wife did but exercise a jest 
t-'pon your wit, 
Fts. 'Sfoot, my wit bleeds for'i, roethinlis. 
Cam, Then let this warning more of sense aSbrd ; 
The name of cousin is a bloody word. 

Fdi. Ill ne'er call coz again whilst I live, to 
IttTC saeh a coil about it : this should be a coro- 
nuna-day, for my head runs claret lustily. [£zif. 
Car. Go, wisb^ the surgeon to have great re- 
spect — [^ExU Second Prentice. 

Enter an Officer. 
Ho» now, my Iriend T what, do they sit to-day ? 
Orr. Yea, sir ; they expect you at the senate- 
Cm. 1 thank your pains; I'll not be last man 
there.— [Exit Ctfficer. 

Mjgown, George ; go, my gown. [Exit Ouobcie.] 

— A happy land, 
Wlwre grave men meet each cause to understand ; 
V^OM coDicieaces are not cut out in bribes 

■ ^.ILe. 

red — an heraldic term. 

IRE. A3 

Cut. Ono! break open dies t 7 ihat'g a tliief's 
Therein you counsel me against my blood ; 
Twould shew impatience iliat : any meek means 
I would be glad to embrace. Mass, 1 have got it: 
Go, step up, fetch me down one of the carpets,' 
The saddest -co lour'd carpet, honest George ; 
Cut thou a hole i' th' middle for my neck, 
Two for mine arms. Nay, pritliee, look not strange. 

Geo. 1 hope you do not think, sir, as you mean. 

Cav. Prithee, about it quickly, the hour chides 

Warily, George, softly ; lake heed of eyes. 

[£ii( Geohoe. 
Oal of two «vils he's accounted wise 
That can pick out the least : the fine impos'd 
IDT tn nngowoed senator is about 
Fortj cruzadoes,'" the carpet not 'bove four. 
Thai have I chosen the lesser evil yet, 
PfeserT'd my patience, foil'd her desperate wit. 

Jte-enter Georob nith carpet, 
Gto. Here, sir, here's the carpet. 
Cm, 0, well done, George ! well cut it just i' th' 
midat. [,They cut the carpet. 

Tnvery well ; I thank (hee : help it on. 

Gso. It must come over your head, sir, like a 
"cnch's petticoat. [^Hel^rtg to put i( on. 

'«7eK] L t. Ubie-coven: see note, vol. i. p. 386. 

^ Tradaci] " A CTiuado ii ■ Portugucie coin, struck under 
Alpbannt V. about the jen 1457, at the time when Pope 
Cunnx KM thiiber ■ bull for a croiiade against the infidels. 
I' bd iu nime rrom a cruu which it bean on one side, tha 
■nst of Portugal being on the other. The value ofit ii 40 
FmcliwItiOr upwBrdiaf2i. 10d.aterliag." Rbed. It varied 
in Talue it dlScient limei. 



Cab. Thou'rt in the right, good George ; it must 
Fetch me a Dightcap, foT I'll gird it close, 
Aa if my healdi were queasy ; 'twill shew well 
For a rude, careless nightgown ; vHVi not, think 'st ? 

Geo, Indifferent well, sir, for a nightgown, heing 
girt and plaited. 

Can. Ay, and a nightcap on my head. 

Geo. That's true, sir ; I'll run and fetch one, and 
a stafi*. i^^'t- 

Can. For thus they cannot choose but conster^it : 
One that is out of healtli takes no delight, 
Wears his apparel without appetite. 
And puts on heedless raiment without form. — 

Re-enter George with nightcap and staff. 
So, 80, \_piits on the nightciip] kind George; 

secret now ; and, prithee, 
Do not laugh at me till I'm out of sight. 
Geo. I laugh ? not I, sir. 
Can. Now to the senate-house. 
Methinks I'd rather wear, without a frown, 
A patient carpet than an angry gown. [Exit. 

Gko. Now looks my master just like one of our 
carpet knights,' only he's somewhat the honester 
of the two. 

Re-enter Viola, 
Vio. -What, IB your master gone l 
Geo. Yes, forsooth, his back is hut new turned. 


' carpel kiughU] On these worda Heed has a note of foT- 
midnble lenglh, and very little Co the purpoae. Carptt hiighit 
{repeBtedly merlioned with great contempt by our early 
writen) Here knights dubbed on a carpet, not an the (idd of 
battle,— on occasion of public festivities, not after a viotot 
See Oifford'a note on Maisiuzer't Wotki, vol. iiL p. 1il,t 
IBIS. ^ 

. And I 

TBE aoxzsr waaKE. 

hit cloak ! did he not vex and 

Geo. [oaidt] No : bat bell make j<ra iwear anoo. 
— No, indeed, be weoi airaj like a lamb. 

Vio. KeT. tink u> bell! siill parient. panevt Kill f 
I »ia with child' to rex him. Priibee, G«or;^, 
Ife'eT ibou look'at for farour at my baoda. 
Uphold one }est Car me. 

GsA. AgaiDM my master ! 

Vto. 'TlBameTejest,iafa)lb:My,wi)t(faoado't! 

Geo. Wc]|, what is't r 

Vio. Here, take thi* ke;; tbon know'n vbcre 
all things lie ; 
Put on thy master's best apparel, gown. 
Chain, cap, rtii^ every thing ; be like faimielf ; 
And, 'gainat his coming botnc:, walk in the shop ; 
Fe^ the same carriage and liii pattern look : 
Twill breed bnt a jest, tboa know'st : speak, wilt 

Gk>. Twill wrtHig mj master's patience. 

Vio. Prithee, George 

Gko. Well, if yoa'll save me barmless, and pot 
me nndei covert bam,' I am content to plose 
yon, provided it may breed no wrong agsinet him. 

Vio. No wrong U all : liere, take U>e key, be 
If any tcx him, this ; if not this, iKMie. [ExetaU. 

A» outer yfpartmemt at Buxatkokt's Hmtu. 
Enter M15TKIJ.S Fisoekuxe omI Rocek. 

)ger, *liert'» yonr mitres*. 
' ilwre's til* fiii»t. DeateM 
gcnilcraan at my houi«, but nenlyconie o*er : 
irbcre is she, wh«re is ibe, wltcre is sbc } 

RoG. Mv mntress ic abroad, but Dot amongit 
'em : my miitress ii not the wbore now ihat jou 
take her for. 

Mis. F- How ! is she not a vhore ! do you p> 
abont to take annr her good name, Rt^r T you are 
a fine pander indeed ! 

Roo. I (ell you, madonna Fingerlock, I am not 
sad for nothing ; 1 ha.' not eaten one good meal ihi* 
three and thirty days : I had tront to gel sixteen 
pence by fetching a potile of hippocras;" but now 
those days are past : we had as good doings, 
madonna Fingerlock, she tviihjn doors, and I with- 
out, as any poor young couple in Milan. 

Mis. F. God's my life, and is she dianged now I 

RoG. I ha' lost by her Bifueainishness more than 
would have builded twelve bawdy- bouses. 

M[9, F. And bad she no time lo turn bonest bnc 
now ? what a Tile woman U (his \ twenty pound a- 
night, I'll be sworn, Roger, in good gold and no sil- 
ver : why, here was a time ! if she should ha" picked 
out a time, it could uot be bciter : gold enough stir- 
ring; choiceofmen. choice of Iwir, choice of beards, 
ehoice of legs, and choice of every, every, every 
thing : il cannot sink inio my head that she shonM 
be auch an ass ; Roger, \ never believe it. 

■ Aipfwcnu] See Dole, p. 33. 


Koe. H<TC the comes now. 

£«/«■ Bellafrost. 

Mn. F. O sweet madonna, on with yonr loose 
tor*,* yontr fclt,P anil ynur feather ! there's the 
'irctBst, prDprrcni.'i gnUaiitcst genllcmnn at my 
' iiur; be oncilB all of musk and amliergrisc, his 
■:ket roll of crowns, flami-colourcd ilonbiet, red 
"10 hotr.' camtuvn HJlk siocklufjK, aiid a leg and 
1 l->dy.— O I 

Bu. Ul'DCe tiiou, our se 

Lut'« fjctnr and di 
Gm><]> »r hell ! H 
Wtieh Uw whole »*( 


le harlots' sinH, 

mbcr'd together, 
i!.iin ;.ir -\i-.-.-iia iiitrii nil ; of all the creatures 
■ ii' (1, thou art basest. 

'■■■guile iheti of tliy office ? 

' 'rUita. guard'st the door 
W i-<l-i ."irjilti j;.) to daocuig. O course devil ! 
Tliou kri the butard's curie, thou brand's! hi» 
^^3c fecber't French dinease, for thou dry-auck'st 
H^ Iuir: 

^H|> InrloC* poiaon, «nd thine own confusion. 
^Rlfia. P. &tiirTy comn up, with n pox ! have you 
^^Mody to rail a^ain^i but your bawd now ? 

BiL. Aod you, knave pander, kinsman to a 

Rati. Ynu and I, madonna, are cousinii. 
Hkl. or tfae umc blood and making, near allied ; 

' ttM» <■■■] Tlu common ilreo urcaurinanc tee doIc, 


Thou that [art] slave to sixpence, base-metaU'd 
villain ! 

Hoc. Sixpence ? nay, that's not so ; 1 never took 
under two shillings fourpence : I hope I know my 

DsL. I knon not against which most to inveigh. 
For both of you are damn'd so equally. 
Thou never spar'st for oaths, swear'st any thing. 
As if ihy soul were made of shoe-leather : 
God damn me, gentUvtan, if she be mitkin .' 
When in the next room she's found dallying. 

Roe. If it be my vocation to swear, every nian in 
his vocation : I hope my betters swear, and damn 
themselves ; and why shotdd not 1 1 

Bel, Roger, you cheat hind gentlemen. 

Roo. The more gulls they. 

Bel. Slave, 1 cashier thee. 

Mi6. P. And' you do cashier him, he shall be 

RoG. Shall 1 1 then blurt' a' your service! 

Bel. As hell would have it, eniertaio'd by you 1 
1 dare the devO himself to match those two, [ExU.' 

Mis. F. Marry gup, are you grown so holy, so 
pure, so honest, with a pox 1 

Roo. Scurvy, honest punk ! Bui stay, madonna, 
how must our agreement be now ? fur, you know, I 
am to have all the comings-in at the hall-door, and 
you at the chamber-door. 

MiB. F. True, Roger, except my vails. 

RoG. Vails ? what vails 7 

Mis. F. AVhy as thus : if a couple come in a 
coach, and light to lie down a little, then, Roger, 
that's my fee, and you may walk abroad, for the 
coachman himself is their pander. 

' And"] L 

> Uayf] See note, p. 90. 

THt ROKBaT «HOB>. 69 

Km, Ii 'a bo 7 in tnith, I have almost forgoi, 

'' nnt of exercise. Dul hon il' I fetch this 

: trtt'a wife to ili&t gull, and that madonna to that 
. illant, bow ibefi ? 

Mu. F. Why then, Hoger, you are to have six- 
.' '<« • lane ; ao many lanes, so many sixpences. 

Koc [I't to ! then I see we two shall agree, and 

< t together. 

AluL P. Ajf, Roger, so long as there be any 
Uf«nt aod bawdy-housea in Milan. \^Excunt. 

A Chamlifr in Bellafkont's House. 
BttltriOMT liiicottrvJ Mitling, ititH a lute ; pen, ink, 
ami paper on a labU before her. 
B«u 7Tl< courtier' t JtatUring jeiteU, [Singt. 

Ttmptatiim'f only fueh. 
The Laryer'i ill-got money I, 
ngt tuck up poor beet' honeyt, 
Tkt eilhm't ton't riot, 
n* gallanll't'] eottly diet, 
SUki and eelvett, pearh and ambert, 
Sluitl not dran me la their ekambert. 

Silkt and relrels, ^e. {^Ske Kritei. 

O 'til m vain to write I it will not please. 
lak 00 thti paper wnulil hn' but presented 
Tie ftwt bbch ipoti that stick upon my soul, 
AtKJ ruber made' me loaihsomer, than wrought 
.Ml \mt't iiDpreuion in Hinpolito's thought : 
Sn, I must turn the cha«te leaves of my breast, 
^ n<] pick out some sweet means to breed my rest. 
- pp«lilo, believe me, I will be 
V irae onto (hy beart as thy h«art to thee, 

ibsteaU a 

s thy h 
I, their gifts and company I 

*] Old >di. •■ mwkf: 


Enter Mathed, CASTautrma, Fluelld, t 

Mat. You, goody punk, subaadi cockatrice,' O 
you're a sweet whore of your promise, are you not, 
think you 1 how well you CEiine to supper to us last 
night! mew, a whore, and break her word! nay, 
you may blush and hold down your head at it well 
enough : 'sfoot, ask these gallants if we stayed not 
till we were as hungry as sergeants. 

Flu. Ay, and their yeomen too. 

Cas. Nay, faiih, acquaintance, let me tell you, 
you forgat yourself too much : we had exceUent 
cheer, rare vintage, and were drunk after supper. 

Pio. And when we were in our woodcocks, sweet 
rogue, a brace of gulls, dwelling here ii 
came in and paid all the shot. 

Mat. Pox on her ! let her alone. 

Bel, O, 1 pray, do, if you be gentlemen! 
I pray, depart the house : bcshrew the door 
For being so easily entreated ! faith, 
I lent but little ear unto your talk ; 
My mind was busied otherwise, in troth. 
And so your words did unregarded pass : 
Let this suffice, — I am not as I was. 

Fld. I am not what 1 was 1 no, I'll be sworn thou 
art not ; for thou wcrt honest at five, and now 
thou'rt a punk at fifteen ; thou wert yesterday a 
simple whore, and now thou'rt a cunning, cony- 
catching" baggage lo-day. 

Bel. Ml say I'm worse ; I pray, forsake me then : 
I do desire you leave me, gentlemen, 

■ eackalricf} A cant term for a harlot : so in Tht Family ^ 
LaM, »ol. ii. p, 1+8, " Ldvb, ™6nBdi lii!i"—anoiher parallel- 
linn which shews Ihe hand of Middlctoa id ihe present ~'~^ 
see notcB, pp. W, 55. - 

« cmg-aiKU-m] S«e note, p. iS. 



I, sweet j 

lie city, J 



And leave yourselves r O be not what you arc, 

Spendthrifts of soul and body! 

Let me persuade you to forsake all harlots, 

Worse than the deadliest poisons ; tliey are worse, 

For o'er their souls bangs an eternal curse. 

In being staves to slaves, their labours perish ; 

They're seldom blest with fruit, for ere it bloBBoms 

Many a worm confounds it ; 

They have no issue but foul ugly ones, 

That run along trith them e'en to their gravCB, 

For, 'steed of children, they breed rank diseases ; 

And all you gallants can bestow on lliem 

li that French infant, which ne'er acts, but speaks. 

What shallow son and heir, then, foolish gal1ant[s], 

Would waste alt bis inberitaniie to purchase 

A filthy, loath'd disease, and pawn his body 

Toadryevil? that usury's worst of all. 

When tb' interest will eat out the principal. 

Mat. 'Sfoot, she gulls 'em the best! this is 
always her fashion when she would be rid of any 
company that she cares not for, to enjoy mine 
alone. [^Aside. 

Flu. What's here I instructions, admonitions, and 
caveats ? come out, you scabbard of vengeance ! 

Mat. Fluello, spurn your hounds when they 
fist,' you shall not spurn my punk, I can tell 
yoa : my blood is vexed. 

Flu. Pox a' your blood I make it a quarrel. 

Mat. You're a slave ! will that serve turn ? 

Pjo.- 'Sblood, hold, hold ! 

Cab. Matheo, Fluello, for shame, put up ! 

Mat. Spurn my sweet varlet ? 

• ;W]~-or, u Mveral edi. have, /oi.( — i. e, Btink. 

" PiaJ] Old edi. " Oninti:" but Caitruchio ii (he next 
weaker ; and Bellafront, it should seem, hu no share in the 
pretcDt ipeccb. 

Bel, O how many thus, 
Mov'd with a little folly, have let out 
Their souis in brothel -houses ! fell down and i 
Just at [heir harlot's foot, as 'twere in pride I 

Flo. Macheo, we shall meet. 

Mat. Ay, ay ; any where saving at church ; 
pray, take heed we meet not there. 

Flu. Adieu, damnation ! 

Cah. Cockatrice, farewell ! 

Pio. There's more deceit in women than in hell. 
^Exeunt Castrucmio, FtUBLLo, and 


Mat, Ha, ha, thou dost gull 'em so rarely, so 
naturally! if 1 did not think thou badst been in 
earnest ! thou art a sweet rogue for't, i'faith. 

Bel. Why are not you gone too, signor Matheo t 
I pray, depart tny house ; you may believe me ; 
In troth, I have no part of harlot in me. 

Mat. How's this J 

Bel. Indeed, 1 love you not, hut hate you worM 
Than any man, because you were the first 
Gave money for my soul : you brake the ice, i 

Which after tum'd a puddle ; I was led W^d 

By your temptation to be miserable. ^^H 

I pray, seek out some other that will fall, ^^H 

Or rather, I pray, seek out none at all. ^^^ 

Mat. Is't possible to be impossible — an honeit 
whore 7 I have heard many honest wenches turn 
strumpets with a wet fingeT :' but for a harlot to 
turn honest is one of Hercules' labours ; it was 
more easy for him in one night to make fifty 
queans, than to make one of them honest again in 
fifty years. Come, I hope thou dost but jest. 

Bel. 'Tis tune to lesve off jesting ; I had almost 

fIjStigrr] Seem 

!, p. 10. 


JMted ■■(*¥ lalvition : I shall lot 
If you nill soon forsake me. 
Hat. God be wi' thveii 



ciehiy . 

Wmncn at best arc bad, make t)iem not norse. 
YoD gladly trek our sex's overihrow, 
But Dot la nii*r nur stales. For all your wrongs. 
Will Ton *ouch»afr mc bill due recompense. 


h a punk, a cockatrice, a 
luulotf mury, foh; 111 be burnt [horough the nose 

BcL. Why, la. these are your oaihs ! you love to 
an do ui, 
Ta pot heaven from us, whilst our best hours waste; 
Yoa love to make u* lewd, but nevt?r chaste. 

Mat. I'll hear no more ofthis, this };round upon, 
TboH'rt dnmn'd for altering ihy religion. {.Exit. 

Bkl. Thy lusi and sin speak go much: go thou. 

The first fall my soul took ! By my example, 
1 tMjpe few niaideiu now will put their heads 
L'lkder HKii'* jTirdles : who least trusts is most wise ; 
Mcn'i ruihi do C3*t a mist before out eyes. 
Mj bt»I nf wit be ready '. now I go 

c device to greet HippoItU 
*ywe Of] Old tit. '■ Gotl buy Ihee. " and " 



A Chamber in Hippolito's Notue. 

Enter a Servant. 

Ssa. So, this is Monday morning ; and nov must 
I to my huswifery. [Scln out a table, and placet 
on it a ikull, a picture of Infelice, a book, and a 
taper/] Would I lind been created a shoemaker ! 
for alJ ihe genile craft are gentlemen every Mon- 
day by their copy, and scorn then to work one 
true Biitch. My master means sure to turn me 
into a student ; for here'e my book, here my desk, 
here my light, this my close chamber, and here my 
punk : so that this dull drowiy first day of the 
week makes me half a priest, half a chandler, half 
a painter, half a Eexton, ay, and half a bawd; for 
all tbis duy my ofTice is to do nothing but keep the 
door. To prove it, look you, this good face snd 
yonder gentleman, so soon as ever my back's 
turned, will be naught together. 

Enter HiProtiTO. 

HtP. Ate all the windows shut ? 

Ser. Close, sir, as the fist of a 
■tood in three reigns. 

HtP. Thou art a faithful serva 
The calendar botli of my solemn vows 
And ceremonious sorrow. Get thee gone: 
I charge thee on iby life, let not the sound 
Of any woman's voice pierce through that door. 

Sbr. If they do, my lord, I'll pierce some of , 
them. What will your iordship bave ti 

HtP. Sighs. 

Sbk. What to dinner? 


and observ'st 



Hip. Tears. 

Ser. The one of them, my lord, mill fill you loo 
full of wind, the other wet you too much. What 
to supper ? 

Hip. That which now thou canst not get tne, the 
constancy of a woman. 

See. Indeed, that's harder to come by than ever 
«3B Ostend.' 

Hip. Prithee, away, 

Sek. I'll make away myself presently, which few 
Kirants will do for ihetr lords, but rather help to 
make iheni away. — Now to my door-keeping ; 1 
hope to pick something out of it. [Aside, and exit. 

Hip, [laking up Infelice's pic(ure.] My In- 
felice's face, licr brow, her eye. 
The dimple on her cheek ! and such sweet skill 
Hith from the cunning workman's pencil flown. 
These lips look fresh and lively as her own. 
Seeming to move and apeak. 'Las, now I see 
The reason why fond* women love to buy 
Adulterate complexion ! here 'tis read ; 
False colours last af\er the true be dead : 
Of all the roses grafted on her cheeks. 
Of all the graces dancing in her eyes. 
Of all the music set upon her tongue. 
Of all that was past woman's excellence 
In her white bosom, look, a painted hoard 
Circnm scribes all ! earth can no bliss afford, 
Nothing of her, but this : this cannot speak ; 

• OtIciKf] "TheMege oflhii place ii frequently alluded to 
in miT incicDt writen. It was taken by the Marqiiii of Spi- 
oltU on the 8Lh of September, 1604, ntler it had held out 
tbne jemn and ten weeks. See ' ji Trut Hitlory ^ the va- 
mmbU Sitgi i/Ostend, ami ahat paiitd en litktr lidt from 
tkt bigiiiMHg ofOu Sirgt unla tht j/itldiag up ef the taim.' 4to. 
1004," Rbed. 

' /<«<] i. e. fooliih. 


It has no lap for me U 
So lip worlli tasting ; 
As in her coffin : hence then, idle art ! 
True love's best pictur'd in a true-love's heart : 
Here art thou drawn, sweet maid, lill this be dead ; 
So that thou liv'st twice, twice art buried; 
Thou figure of my friend, lie there. What's here? 
I'fatees up the skull. 
Perhaps this shrewd pate was mine enemy's ; 
'Las, say it were, I need not fear him now ! 
For all his braves, his contumelious breath, 
His frowns, though dagger-pointed, all his plot[a]. 
Though ne'er so mischievous, bin Italian pills. 
His quarrels, and that common Fence, his law, 
See, see, they're nil eaten out t here's not left one : 
How clean they're pick'd away to the bare bone t 
How mad are mortals, then, to rear great names 
On tops of swelling houses '. or to wear out 
Their fingers' ends in dirt, to scrape up gold ! 
Not caring, so that sumpter-horse the back 
Be hung with gaudy trappings, with what coarse. 
Yea, rags most beggarly, they clolhe the soul 
Yet, after all, their gayness looks thus foul. 
What fools are men to build a garish tomb. 
Only to save ihe carcass whilst it rot^ 
To maintain'! long in stinking, make good carri 
But leave no good deeds to preserve ihem sound ! 
For good deeds keep men sweet long above ground. 
And must all come to this? fools, wise, all hither? 
Must all heads thus at last be laid together 'I 
Draw me my picture then, thou grave neat work- 
After this fashion, not like this ; these colours, 
In time, kissing but air will be kiss'd off; 
But here's a fellow, that which he lays on 
Till doomsday alters not complexion : 



Dtnh't the best painter then: they that draw 

And ItTc by wicked facei, are but God's apes ; 
Tbey come but near ibe life, and lliere they stay : 
Tbk fellow draws life too ; his art is fuller, 
The pictures which he makes are without colour. 

Re-enter Servant. 
Sh. Here's a person would speak with you, air. 
Hip. Hah ! 

Sta. A parson,'* sir, would speak with you. 

Hip. Vicar? 

Seb. Vicar ! no, sir, has too good a face to be 
a vicar vel ; a youth, a very youlli. 

HiF. 'What voulh ; of man or woman ? lock the 
doors. ■ 

Sek. If it be a woman, mnrrow-liones and potalo- 
ptcs' koep me from'' meddling with her, for the 
thing has got the breeches I 'tis a male varlet' sure, 
my lord, for a woman's tailor ne'er measured him. 

Hit-. Let bim give ihee his message, and be gone. He savs he's signor Matheo's man; but I 
know he lies. ' 

Hip. How dosl tl.ou know it ? 

Sf.r. 'Cause he has ne'er a beard : 'tis his boy, I 
think, sir, whosoe'er paid for hts nursing. 

Hip. Send him, and keep the door. 

[£xi( Serrant, 

pronouncr the word. 

' f^ain-piti] Politors mere TormfHy esteemed a strong 
prOTOcative : kc the long and imlrNcliv/ nore ol Collms 
,L c. S we »cn») appended lo Troil^i and CrMiida — Malone't 
XJ.aifp"trt (by Boisell), vul. viiL p. 430. 

■= from': Old edL " for." 

• malt'rarlrl] " So in TtbHui and Cr/iiida, net T. sc. 1 : 
' Thou an ihougbi to be Arhillei' malt rarlti.' " Reed. 



^■^_ ^^ 



Fata* n liceat mihi C^*^^^! 


Fingerc arbitrio mro, l^^l 


Temptrem zephyro levi ^^^| 



, were 1 to choose, not in the ocean ; ^^^| 

^H Cedars 

arc shaken when shrubs do feci no bruiae^^^| 

^H Enter 

Bellafront dressed as a page, n>ilh a IftU^^^I 

^H How, from Mattieo? ^H 

^H Bel 

Yes, my lord. ^H 

^H Hir 

ArtsicU ^H 

^B Bel 

Not all in health, my Urd. ^^M 

^B Hip 


^B Bel 

I ^^1 

^H Hard 1 

ate when women are compell'd to woo! 1 


[Aside. 1 

^M Htr 

This paper does speak nolhing. I 

^H Bii 

Yes, my lord, ^^J 

^H Mattel 

of liTc it speaks, and therefore writ ^^H 

^H In 

en character : to me instruction ^^H 

^H Mym 

ster gives, and, 'less you please to stay ^^H 

^M Till ;o 

u both meet, I can the text display. ^^| 

^H Hip 

Do 90 ; read out. ^^^H 

^M Bat 

I am already out ^^H 

^H Look c 

n my face, and read the strangest story ! ^^^| 

^H Hir 

What, viUain. ho ! ^H 


Re-enter Serr-ant. ^^^ 


Callyou, my lord? ^H 

^H Hip 

Thou slave, thou hast let in the devil ! 1 


Lord bless ub, where ? he's not cloven, my 1 

^^M lord, that I can sea ; besides, the devil goes more 1 

^^H like a gentleman than a page : good ray lord, hum | 

^m magg 


' fata, &c} From SeDKi,~(EdlpH,, 8SZ. J 


Hip. Thou hast let in a woman in ni&n's shape, 
■ And thou art damnt-i] for't. 

Seh. Not danm'd, I hope, 
For putting in a woman to a lord. 

Hip. Fetch me my ropier — do not; I shall kill 
Purge this infected chamber of that plague 
That runs upon me thus ; slave, thrust her hence. 

Sea. Alas, my lord, I shall never be able to 
thrust her hence without help! — Come, mermaid, 
you must to aea again. 

Bel. Hear me but speak, my words shall be all 

Hear me but speak. [^Knocking within. 

Hip. Another beats the door; 
Tother shc'devil ! look. 

SiB. Why, then, hell's broke loose. 

Hir. Hence ; guard the chamber ; let no more 
come on ; [_Exit Servant. 

One woman serves for man's damnation. — 
Bnhrew thee, thou dost make me violate 
The chastest and most sanctimonious vow 
Hiat e'er vias enter'd in the court of heaven! 
1 was, on meditation's spotless wings,' 
Upon my journey thither : like a storm 
Tboo beats my ripen'd cogitations 
Flat to the ground; and like a thief dost stand, 
To steal devotion from the holy land. 

Bkl. If woman were thy mother — if thy heart 
Be not all marble, or ift marble be, 
Let my tears soften it, to pity me — 
I do beseech thee, do not thus with scorn 
Destroy a woman ! 

' amdiiatim'i tpclltii utngi] " So in Hamlet, ael i. te. 1. 
* Hum, In me know it i thai I, with viingi u swift 
As itdiUtim; " &C. liBBD. 

in, I bespedi ihe*. 
Get ilie« same oilier suit, this 6is thee nc 
1 would not ([rant it to a kneelin^^ (lueen. 
1 cannot love tliee, nor I must not : see 

l^Poinlt to Infelice's picture. 
The copy of thai obligation. 
Where ray soul's bound in heavy penaliies. 

Bel. She's dead, you told me ; she'll let fall her suit. 

Hip. My vons to her B«d after her to heaven : 
Were thine eyes clear as mine, thou niighi'st behold 

Watching upon yon batllemenis of stars, 
How I observe them. Should ! break my bond, 
This hoard would rive in tvrain, these wooden lips 
Call me most perjur'd villain. Let it sufiice, 
I faa' set thee in the path : is't not a sign 
I love thee, when with one so most most dear 
I'll have thee felloiv?' all are fellows there. 

Bel. Be greater than a king ; save not a body, 
But from eternal shtpn'reck keep a soul : 
If not, and that again sin's path 1 tread, 
The grief be mine, the ^iiitt fall on ihy head ! 

Hip. Slay, and take physic for it ; read this book; 
Ask counsel of this head, what's to he done ; 
He'll strike it dead, that 'tis damnation 
If you turn Turk again.* O do it not ! 
Though" heaven can not allure you to do well. 
From doing ill let hell fright you : and learn this, 
The soul whose bosom lust did never touch 
Is God's fair bride, and maidens' souls are such : 
The sonl that, leaving chastity's white shore. 
Swims in hot sensual streams, is the devil's whore. — 

' fillBie] Old eda. " rellowes." 

■ turn Turk again] " To tuni Tmk seems to hav« b«en • 

CMil phrme for depar^ng from the rules of ehsslity." Rked. 

^ Thatgh] So some e^ First ed. " The." 





Re-enter Servant ivitk letter. 



OIK ? tvlio comes ? 



No more knaves,' m 

y lord, that wear 

■mocki: ^H 


a letter from doc to 

r Benedict ; I would not ^^H 

enler h 

s man, though he 

had hairs at h 


for tea 

he should be a v 

foman, for som 

, ^B 

have beards ; marry, ihey 

are half witches 


you are 

a sweet youth to wear a codpiece," 

and have ^^ 

no piDi 

to stick upon't ! 



I'll meet the docio 

. teU him 1 yet 

to-night 1 


t ; but at morrow rising sun 


ol fail. [Eiil Sen 

7n(.]-Go, worn 

an; fare 

thee .veil. 


. The lonest fall can be but into hell. 
It does not move him ; I must therefore fly 
From thia undoing eity, and with tears 
Waih off all anger from my father's brow : 
He cannot sure but joy seeing me new born. 
A woman hooeit first, and then turn whore, 
U, at with me, common to thousands more; 
Bat from a strumpet to turn chaste, that sound 
Hu oil beeo heard, that woman hardly found. 



A Street. 
Enler FosTioo, Cbaubo, and Poh.' 
Fvi. Hold up your hands, gentlemen : here's 
*'*. two, three {giving money] — nay, I warrant 

' ima, 8lc.-] See note, toI. i. p. 436. 

. WjT leilektty " One o( Lhc disdngui thing qualitieB of ■ 
"^ ■" d to btre been hair oi " 

nMnc, Ac] The ciutotn of sticking pine in thii part of 
wue dreu !■ often mentioned by our early writer*. 
fd] " Tha name U Ptk, ai it i* generaUy printed b the 


they are sound pistoh,*" and without flaws ; I bad 
them of my sister, and 1 know she uses [o put [up3 
nothing iliat's cracked — three, four, five, six, seven, 
eight, and nine: hy this hand, bring me but ^ piece 
of his blood, and you shall have nine more. I'U 
lurk in a tavern not far olT, and provide supper to 
close up thi? end of the tragedy. The linen-draper's, 
remember. Stand to't, I beseech you, and plJy your 
parts perfectly. 

Ckah. Look you, signor, 'tia not your gold that 
we weigh 

Fvs. Nay, nay, weigh it, and spare not ; if it lack 
one grain of corn, I'll give you a bushel of wheal to 
make it up. 

Crau. But by your favour, sisjnor, which of the 
servants is it ? becausif we'll punish justly. 

Pus. Marry, 'tia the head man ; you shall taste 
him by his tongue; a pretty, tall, prating fellow, 
with a Tuscalonian beard. 

PoH. Tuscalonian? very good. 

Fiis. Cod's life, [ was ne'er so thrummed since I 
was a gentleman ; my coxcomb was dry-beaten, as 
if my hair had been hemp. 

Cram. We'll dry-beat some of them. 

Fits. Nay, it grew bo high, that my siater cried 
murder out very manfully: I have her consent, tn 
, to have him peppered, else I'll not do't 
lore than ten cheaters do at a rifling :° 

editiou of 161)4, and at is evidrn 

from tbe 

wny in which Fu»- 

ligo pUya upon 

t ac the end o 

rtbe »cen 

e. Ichu hitherto 

been mi 

primed Poll." Collie 

R— In th 

fiitt cd. of Dodt- 

le/. 014 




" I «uppo« Fuiligo men 

.ihc Spanish coin 



KB. Whatelte 

could he 

mean 1 tee TodJ's 


t Dkl. in T. piiloL 

• rhea 

tt. do . 

. a r.j«iv] Mi 

n.hcu. in 

hia Guide into rt* 





Df guae, nheni he 




break bui his pate or so, only fais i 
111 have his head in a cloth as well aa mine ; be» a 
lineo-drapcr, sod may take enough, I cuuld enter 
mine action of battery against hint, hut we may 
'haps be both dead and rotten before the lanyen 
would end it. 

Cbam. No more to do hut ensconce yourself 
i' th' tavern ; provide no great cheer, af couple of 
capons, some pheasants, plovers, an orangado pie, 
or ta : but how bloody aoe'er the day be, sally you 
not forth. 

Fc*. \o, no; nay, if I stir, somebody shall stink; 
I'll not bud(te ; I'll lie like a do^ in a manger. 

Cram. Well, well, to the tavern ; let not our 
■apper be raw, for you shall have blood enough, 
yonr bellyful. 

Fds. That's all, so God sa' me, I thirst after; 
blood for blood, bump for hump, nose for nose, 
head for head, plaster for plaster ; and so farewell. 
What shall I call your names 1 because I'll leave 
word, if any such come to the bar. 

Ckah. My name is corporal Crambo. 

FoH. And mine, lieutenant Fob, 

Ckam. Poh is as tall^ a man as ever opened 
oyater : I would not be the devil to meet Poh : 

Fus. Nor I, by this light, if Poh be such a Poh. 

is laid down : 

where 1 have ihcwa thai our old wrilcra used rift i 

• maerji. e. head. 
' ■] So some cdi^ Nat in first ed. 

* titt] i e. valiant. 


C AUDI do's Shop. 
Enter Viola and tn-o Prentices. 

Vio. What's a' clock 

Sec, p. 'Tis almost twelve. 

Vio. Thai's well ; 
The senate will kave wording presently 
But is Georpe reaily f 

Sec. p. Yes. loraooth. he's furbish'd. 

Vm. Now as yoii ever hope to win my favour, 
Thro>v both your duties and respects on him 
With the like awe as il' he were your master : 
Let not your looks betray ii with a eniile 
Or jeering glance to any customer ; 
Keep a true settled countenance, and beware 
You laugh not, whatsoe'er you hear or see. 

Sec. P. I warrant you, mistress, let us alone for 
keeping our countenance; for, if Hist, there's never 
a fool in all Milan shall make me laugh, let him 
play the fool never so like an ass, whether it," 
the fat court-fool or the lean city-fool. 

Vio. Enough then ; cull down George. 

Sec. p. I hear him coming. 

Vio. Be ready with your legs' then, let me 
How courtesy would become him. — 

Enter Georqe >n CANOino's apparel. 

Gallantly ! 
Beahrew my blood, a proper seemly man, 
or a choice carriage, walks with a good port ! 
" . I thank you, mistrcsa ; my back's broad 

t him 


: you, 
w my master's gown's 



Vio. Sure I should think it were (he least of sin 
To mistake the master, and to let him in. 

Gso. 'Tnere a good Comedy of Errursf thai, 

Stc. P. Whist, whist! my master. 
Vio. You all know your tasks. — 

Enter Candioo.i dresied a* before in the carpel . 
he ttaret at George, and exit, 
God's my life, what's that he has got upon's hack i 
who cao tell 1 

Geo. That can 1, but I will not. 

V]Q. Gin about him like a madman! wlmt, lia.s 
be Ion bin cloak too i This is the maddcEt fashion 
that e'er I saw. What said he, George, when he 
passed by thee ? 

, Geo. Troth, mistress, nothing ; not bo much as 
a bee, be did not hum ; not so much as a bawd, he 
did Dot hem ; not so much as a cuckold, he did not 
ha; neither hum, hem, nor ha ; only stared me in 
the lace, past along, and made haate in, as if my 
looks had worked with him to give him a stool. 

Vio. Sure he's vex'd now, this trick has mov'd 
his spleen ; 
He'a anger'd now, because he utter'd nothing. 
And wordless wrath breaks out more violent. 
May be he'll strive for place when he comes down, 
Bot if thou lov'st me, George, afford him none. 

* Camtdji e/Errori'] An kUution, probsblf, to Shakcipcare'i 
jUmj of dut Dune. 

* EmUr Caadiio] There appeiTi to be an incontiatcDcy here, 
wfeich cannot be remedied by any diviiion of the play inlo 
acta. Cindido bai jiut returned from the aenale-houie ; yet 
OBce be lefi hoioe (aee p. 64) it should leem, fh>m the inier- 
■wiliirr iccnei, tbii ■ night had elapted. 

T0I„ UI. I 

Geo. Nay, let me aloDe to play ray master'B 
prize.' ae long as my mistress warranis me : I'm 
sure I liave his best clothes on, and I scorn to give 
place to any that is inferior in apparel lo me ; that's 
an axiom, a principle, and is observed as much as 
the fashion : let that persuade you then, that I'll 
shoulder with him for the upper hand in the shop 
as long as this chain will maintain it. 

Vio. Spoke with the spirit of a master, though 
with the tongue of a preniice ! — 

Re-enter Cakdido dresitd at a prentice. 
Why, how now, madman 1 what, in your tricksi- 

Can. O peace, good mistress ! — 

Enter Craubo and Poll.* 
See, what you lack V 
coes, fine hotlandg, i 
aee, what you buy 7 pray, come near, my master 
will use you well, he can afford you a pennyworth. 

Vio. Ay, that he can, out of a whole piece of 
lawn, i'faith. 

Can, I'ray, see your choice here, gentlemen. 

Vio. O fine fool 1 what, a madman t a patient 
madman ? who ever heard of the like ! well, sir, 
I'll fit you and your humour presently ; what, cross- 
points f I'll untie 'em all in a trice; I'll vex you, 
failh. — Boy, take your cloak ; quick, come. 

[£a;i( mlh First Prentice. 

' play my moiler'i prixf] A quibble. — In the art of f^ndnK 
there were three degree*, — a Maiter'i. a Provost's, and a 
Boholnr's. lor eaoh of which a vrlie uai yluycd publicly. 

■ Pak] See note. p. 81. 

> wkalyiu lack} See Dole, p. li. 


Cax. Be corei'd,' George ; this cbain and welted 
Bare to this coal ? then tbe world's upside down, 

Gbo. Umh, umh, hum. 

Cram. That's the shop,* and there's thci Fellow. 

PoH. Ay, but the master is walking in there. 

Ckam. No matter ; we'll in. 

PoH. 'Sblood, dost long to lie in Hmbo? 

Ckak. And* limbo be in hell, I care not. 

Cak. Look you, gentlemen, your choice : cam- 
brics ? 

Cs.\]f. No, sir, some shirting. 

Cajt. You shall. Have you none of this striped canvass 
(or donblets ? 

Cah. None striped, sir, hut plain. 

Sbc. p. I think there be one piece striped within. 

Geo. Step, sirrah, and fetch it ; hum, hum, hum. 
[Exit Sec. Prentice,' and relttrnt mth the piece. 

Cah. Look you, gentlemen, 
I'D make hut one spreading ; here's a piece of 

Fine, yet shall wear like iron, 'tia without fault ; 
Take this upon my word, 'tis without fault, 

Ckam. Then 'tis better than you, sirrah. 

Car. Ay, and a number more. O that each soul 
Were but as spotless as this innocent white, 
And had as few breaks in it I 

Ckah. 'Twould have some then : 
Tbere was a fray here last day in this shop. 

' Be cowr'J] i. e. put on your cap. 

■ weUtd gouml " Barret, in hia AlBcarie, voce gard, explain! 
^r word u lynonymoua with pur/U, or welt. A icelled gown 
is tberefore one aroamented vicb puiflea or fringe. They are 
oAm mentioDed in ancient writers." Reed. 

■ thi iliap] See note, p. 54. ' andj i. e. if. 

' £iit See. Prenliee, &c.] Old «d*. have do itage-direction 
here 1 qj. ought Candido to go out for the piece 1 


Can. There was inileed a little flea-biting. 
PoH. A gentleman had his pate broke ; call you 
:hat but a flea-biting 7 
Cam. He had so. 
Crak, Zounda, do you stand in't ? 

[A'triifl CAMDtDO. 

Geo. 'Sfoot, dubs, clubs!' prentices, down with 

Enter several Prattkes with clubt, who dMami^H 
Cbambo fliwf Pou. ^i 

Ah, you rogues, strike a cilixen in's abop ! 

Cah. None of you stir, 1 pray ; forbear, good 

Cram. I beseech you, sir; we mistook our 
marks ; deliver us our weapons. 

Geo. Your head bleeds, sir ; cry, clubs ! 
Can. I say you shall not ; pray, be patient ; 
Give them their weapons. — Sirs, you're best be gone ; 
I tell you, here arc boys more tough than be.irs ; 
Hence, lest more fists do walk about your ears. 

p^*"'{We thank you, sir. lExninl. 

Can. You shall not follow tliom ; 
Let them alone, pray : this did me no harm ; 
Troth, 1 was cold, and the blow made me warm ; 
I thank 'emTor't : besides, I had decreed 
To have a vein prick'd, I did mean to bleed, 
So that there's money sav'd : they're honest men ; 
Pray, use 'em well when they appear agen." 

Geo. Yes, sir, we'll use 'em like honest men. 

Oak. Ay, well said, George, like honest men, 
though they 

' flnlt, rltihil Was ihe cry lo c»!l forth llie London pren- 
CM »hfn Huy fray aroie. 
_ ■ agtn] The oil] vpelling of again, and necesEsry here (m 
R Ae rhyme. 

Be Krrant knares ; for tliat's the phrase'' of the chy. 
Help lo lay up these wares. 

fte-enler Viola and First Prmlke, wUk nffictrs. 
Vio. Yonder he stands. 
FinsT Off. What, in a pre nliee- coat ? 
I Vio. Ay, ay ; mad, mad : pray, take heed. 
f Can. How now ? 

I Vhat news with them? what make they with my 
Officers ? is she attached ? — Look to your wares. 
Vio. He talks to himself: O, he's much gone 

FiasT Off. Pray, pluck up a good heart, be not so 
fearful. — 
Sin, hark, well gather to him by degrees. 

Vio. Ay, ay, by degrees, I pray. O me, what 

unites he with the ]awn in his hand ? he'll tear all 

the ware in my shop. 

First Off. Fear not, we'll catch him on a sudden. 

Vio. O, you had need do so : pray, take heed of 

your warrant. 

FiMT Off. I warrant, mistress. — Now, signor 

Can. Now, sir, what news with you, sir? 
ViD. What news with you ? he says ; O, he's far 

FimtOff. 1 pray, fear nothing ; let's alone with 

Signor, you look not like yourself, methinks — 
Steal you a' t'other side — you're chang'd, you're 
Cak. Chang'd, sir} why, true, sir. Is change 
strange ? 'til not 
' Tkc fashion unless it alter : monarchs turn 

L ° sihnutl So ed. 1805. Othci edi. '■ praise." 


To beggars, beggars creep into the nests 
Of princes, masters serve their prentices, 
Ladies their serving-men, men turn to women. 
First Off. And women turn to men. 
Can. Ay, and women turn to men, you say 
true ; ha, ha ! a mad world, a mad world ! 

[^Officers seize Candido. 
First Off. Have we caught you, sir ? 
Can. Caught me? well, well, you have caught 

Vio. He laughs in your faces. 

Geo. a rescue, prentices! my master's catch- 

First Off. I charge you, keep the peace, or have 
your legs 
Garter'd with irons ! we have from the duke 
A warrant strong enough for what we do. 
Can. I pray, rest quiet ; I desire no rescue. 
Vio. La, he desires no rescue ; 'las, poor heart. 
He talks against himself! 
Can. Well, what's the matter ? 
First Off. Look to that arm ; 

[^Officers bind Candido. 
Pray, make sure work, double the cord. 
Can. Why, why !— 

Vio. Look how his head goes ! should he get but 
O, 'twere as much as all our lives were worth ! 
First Off. Fear not, we'll make all sure for our 

own safety. 
Can. Are you at leisure now ? well, what's the 
matter ? 
Why do I enter into bonds thus, ha ? 

First Off. Because you're mad, put fear upon 

your wife. 
Vio. O ay ; I went in danger of my life every 


Cas . What, am I mad, wy tou, and I not know ii I 

FtKSTOrr. Tbat prove* you mad, faecaiue joa 
know it Dot. 

Vio. Pray, talk as link to farm as jou can ; 
You aee be'5 too Tar spent. 

C.iji. Bound vriib strong cord ! 
A mier*)* tbrcad, ffailli, had bero efwnfli 
To lead me any where. — Wife, do yon loBg t 
You are mad too, or eUe you do me wnMg. 

Geo. Bni are jon mad iadeed, maaier? 

CaK. My wife saya ao. 
And what she says, George, is all truth, yon know. — 
And whitLer aow 1 to Betblem Mooastcry I 
Hs, whither I 

First Off. Faith, e'en to the madiucn's pound. 

Cam. A' God's name! (till I feel my padeoee 
Bound. [ExewU C^eert with Cawdom. 

Geo. Come, well see whither he goes : if the 
master be mad, we are hit Berranta, and must f<rilow 
his steps ; we'll be mad-caps too.-^ — Farewell, mis- 
tresB ; yon shall have us all in Bedlam. 

[_£xemt Gbokce amd PreuSktM. 

Vio. I think I ha' fitted now you and your clothes. 
If this more not his patience, iM>thing can ; 
111 swear then I've a Batnt, and not a man. {_Exit. 


Groundi near the DuJce't Palace. 

Dl'ke. Give us a little leave. — 

[Exeunt Floello, Cabtbdchio, and Pioeatto. 
Doctor, your news. 

' (ffK/ij In Dodflej'i OU Plagt, - tUm." 

Bkk- I s^nt Tor him, my lord : at last he came. 
And did iTceive all speech thai irent from me 
As gildeil pilU made to prolong his heallh : 
My credit with him wrought it ; for some men 
Swallow even empty hooks, like fools that fear 
No drowning where 'tis deepest, 'cause 'lis clear. 
In th' end we sat and est : a health I drank 
To Infelice's sweet departed soul ; 
This train I knew would take, 

DcKE. Twaa excelleni. 

Ben. He fell with such devotion on his koeea^ 
To pledge the same 

DcKE. Fond, superstitious fool ! 

Bek. That had be been inflam'd with zeal 

He could not pour't out with w 
About my neck he hung, wept on niy cheek, 
Kias'd ii, and swore he would adore my lips, 
Because they brought forih Infelice's name. 

Duke. Ha, ha! alack, alack! 

Ben, The cup he lifts np high, and thus he said. 
Here, noble maid! — drinks, and was poisoned. 

Ddke. And died? 

Ben. And died, my lord. 

DuxE. Thou in that word 
Hast piec'd mine aged hours out with more years 
Than thou hast taken from Hippolito. 
A noble youth he was ; but lesser branches. 
Hindering the greater's growth, must be lopt off. 
And feed the fire. Doctor, we're now all thin^ 
And use us so ; he bold. 

Bek. Thanks, gracious lord ! — 
My honour'd lord 

DttKE. Hum. 

Bes. I do beseech your grace to bury deep 
This bloody act of mine. 



DcEE. Nsy, nay, for that, 
* Doctor, look you lo't, me it shall not move ; 
\ Tliey're curs'd that ill do, not that ill do love. 

Ben. You throw an angry forehead on my face ; 
Bui be you pleas'd backward thus far** to look. 
That for your good this evil I undertook 

Bex. And only for your love. 

DtiEE. ConfeBs'd; 'tis true. 

BcN. Nor let it stand against me as a bar, 
I To thruat me from your presence ; nor believe. 
As princes have quick thoughts, that now my finger 
Being dipt in blood, I will not spare the hand, 
But that for gold — as what can gold not do? — 
I may be hir'd to work the like on you. 

Ddkk. Which to prevent 

Bem. 'Tig from my heart as far — — 

Ddkb. No matter, doctor : 'cause I'll fearless 
And that you shall stand clear of that suspicion, 
I banish thee for ever from my court. 
This principle is old, but true as fate, 
Kings may love treason, but the traitor hate. [£zt(. 

Bem. Is't so 1 Nay, then, duke, your stale prin- 

With one as stale the doctor thus shall quit, — 
He falls himself that digs another's pit. — 

Enter Servant. 
How now 7 where is he ? will he meet me ? 

Seb. Meet ^ou, sjr! he might have met with 
tbtee fencers in this time, and have received less 
hint than by meeting one doctor of physic. Why, 
sir, baa walked under the old Abbey~wall yonder 


this hour, till he's more cold than a oitiien'a coun- 
try-house in Janivere.f You may smell him behind, 
air : la, you, yonder he comes. 

Bin, Leave me. 

Sbk. r til' lurch, if you will. [Exit. 

Enter Hippolito. 

Ben. O my most noble friend ! 

Hip. Few but yourself 
Could have entic'd me thus to trust the air 
With my close ligbs. You sent^ for me ; what news f 

Ben. Come, you must doff this black ; dye that 
pale cheek 
Into his own colour ; go, attire yourself 
Fresh as a bridegroom when he rniiets his bride. 
The duke has done much treason to thy love ; 
'Tia now revealed, 'lis now lo be reveng'd : 
Be merry, honour'd ftitnd! ihv lady lives. 

Hip. What lady? 

Bem. Infciice ; she's reviv'd : 
Reviv'd 7 alack, death never had the heart 
To lake breath from her 1 

Hip. Umh, 1 thank you, sir : 
Physic prolongs life when it cannot gnvej 
This helps not my hopes, mine arc in their grave r 
You do some wrong to mock me. 

Ben. By that love 
Which I have ever borne you, what I speak 
Is truth ; the maiden lives : that funeral, 
Duke's tears, the mourning, was all counterfeit ; 
A sleepy draught cozcn'd the world and you : 
I was his minister ; and then chambcr'd up. 
To stop discovery. 

Hip. O treacherous duke I 

( Huf] So several tdt. Firsi ed. " lend." 



I certainly for bliss 
poison 'd you. 
He woo'd me to't ; I yielded, and coafiiin'd him 
Id his most bloody thoughts. 

Hip. a very devil I 

Bes. Her id he closely eoach to Bergamo ; 
And thither 

Hip. Will I ride : stood Bergamo 
In the tow countries of black hell, I'll to her. 

Bkk. You shall to her, but not to Bergamo- 
How passion makea you fly beyond yourself I 
Much of that weary journey I ha' cut off; 
For she by letters bath inlelligence 
Of your supposed death, her own interment. 
And all thoie plots which that false duke her father 
Has wrought against you ; and she'll meet you — 

Hip. O, when? 

Bex. Nay, see, how covetous are your deaim ! 
Early to-morrow morn. 

Hip. O where, good father I 

Ben. At Bethlem Monastery.. Are you pleai'd 

Hip. At Bethlem Monastery ? the place well fits ; 
It is the school where those that lose their wiu 
Practise again to get them. I am sick 
Of that disease ; all love is lunatic. 

Bbn. We'll steal away this night in some disguise. 
Father Anselmo, a most reverend friar, 
Expects our coming ; before whom we'll lay 
Reasons so strong, that he shall yield in bands' 
Of holy wedlock to tie both your hands. 

Hip. This is such happiness, 
That to believe it, 'tis impossible. 

Ben. Let all your joys then die in misbelief; 
I will reveal no more. 

^ bomdt^ So ed. 1605. Other eda. " bonds." 


Hip. O yes, good father ! 
I am so well acquainted with despair, 
I know not how to hope ; I believe all. 

Ben. We'll hence this night : much roust be done, 
much said ; 
But if the doctor fail not in hit charms, 
Your lady shall ere morning fill these arms. 

Hip, Heavenly physician! far thy fame slutU 
That mA'st two lovers speak when they be dead. 


A Halt in the Dake't Palact. 

Enter Viola mith a petition, and Georob. 

Vio. O watch, good George, watch which way 
the duke comes ! 

Geo. Here comes one of the butterflies; ask him. 

Enter Pioratto, 

Vio. Pray, sir, comes the duke this wayf 

Pro. He's upon coming, mistress. 

Vio. I thank you, sir. \_Exit Pioratto.] — George, 
are there many mad folks where thy master lies ? 

Geo. O yes, of all countries some ; but' especially 
mad Greeks,' they swarm. Troth, mistresi, the 
world is altered with you; you had not wont to 
stand thus with a paper, humbly complaining : but 
you're well enough served. Provender pricked you, 
as it does many of onr city wives besides. 

Vio. Dost think, George, we shall get him forth ? 

■ mad Oretki] He alludea to the cammoii expreuion, " ai 
mad tm a Greek :" see Cifford's excelleni Date on B. iotmou'i 
(fart.,»oI. iii. p-261. 


rsz Boxsn whore. fft 

Gko. Truly, mielress, I cannot (ell ; I think 
youll hardly get him forih. Why, 'tis strange ! 
'afoot, I have known many women that have had 
mad ra-icals to their husbands, whom they would 
belabour by all means possible to keep 'em in their 
right wits ; but of a woman to long to turn a tame 
man into a madman, why, the devil himself was 
never used so by his dam. 

Vio. Hovr does he talk, George ? ha, good George, 
tell me. 

Geo. Afraid 7 you had more need be ashamed ; 
ht may islher be atriud of you. 

Vio. But, George, he's not stark mad, is he? he 
does not rave ? he's not horn-mad, George, is he ? 

Geo. Nay, I know not that ; but he talks like a 
justice or peace of a thouaand matters, and to no 

Vio. 111 to the monastery. I shall be mad till I 
enjoy him ; I shall be sick till I see him ; yet when 
I do see him, I shall weep out mine eyes. 

Geo. I'd fain see a woman weep out her eyes ; 
that's as true as to say a man's cloak burns when it 
hangs in the water. I know you'll weep, mistress ; 
but what says the painted cloth V 

Tnut not a moman when the cries, 
For she'll pump water fiom her eyes 
With a wrtjfijjw," am in fatter ihotetrt 
Than Aprxl when he rains donmjhwert. 
Vio. Ay, but, George, that painted cloth is wor* 

1 foimttd tiatk] Ii expUined by Reed, in > note on ibU 
f mm gr, tc mesn tapcitry-hangitigs i but it wai tometbinff 
more coBunoD and leu expeniive, viz. cloth or einvtn punted 
in oil with a varielj of devicn, sad *eiie( intenpcned : lee 
Notm-i Cbu. in *. » 

* ma a tittjbiger] Bee note, p. 10. 

thy to be lianged up for lying : all women have not 

tears at will, unless they have good rause- 

Geo. Ay, but, mistress, how easily will tliey find 

a cause! and as one of our clieese-lrencliers" 

»ery learnedly. 

Am oat of Kormmood fccM suck honey. 
At from poor clientt lantycrs Jirk money. 
At parsley from a roanltd cony. 
So, though the day be ne'er so futmy. 
If n>R>M miU have it rain, donti then it drivti 1 1^ 
The ealmctt huibands make the slormiot wiMt.^ 
Vto, Tame,' George; but I ha' done storming 


Geo. Why, that's well done : gOod mistress, throw 

uflide this fashion of your humour ; be not so fan* 

tactical in wearing it ; storm no more, long no more ; 

this longing haa made you come short of many a 

sood thing that you might have had from my master. 

Here comes the duke. 

Enter Dtike, Pluello, Pioratto, and Sinexi. 

Vio. O, I beseech you, pardon my offence, 
In that I durst abuse your grace's warrant ! 
Deliver forth my husband, good my lord. 

Duke. Who is her husband? 

Flv. Candido, my lord. 

Duke. Where is he? 

Vio. He's among the lunatics. 
He was a man made up witliout a gall ; 
Nothing could move him, nothing could converfa 
His meek blood into fury ; yel, like a monster,^ 
I oAen beat at the most constant rock 
Of his unshaken patience, and did long 
To vex him. 


Dna. Did you bo ! 

Vio. And for that purpose 
Had warrant from your grace to carry him 
To Bethlem Monastery, nhence they will not free 

Without your grace's hand, that sent him in. 

DdSE. You have loug'd fair ; 'tia you aro mad, I 

It's fit lo fetch him thence, and keep you thore. 
If he be mad, why would you have him forth? 

Gu>. And" please your grace, he's not stark 
mad, but only talks like a young gentleman, some- 
wfazt fantastically ; that's all ; there's a thousand 
about your court, city, and coiuitry, madder than 

Ddkb. Provide a warrant, you shall have our 

Gbo. Here's a warrant ready drawn, my lord. 
Duke." Get pen and ink, get pen and ink. 

[Exit Georob. 
EtiUr Castkdchio. 
Cas. Where is my lord the duke ! 
Ddke. How now ? more madmen ? 
' Cas. I have strange news, my lord. 
Ddke. Of what? of whom? 
Cas. Of Infelice and ajnarriage. 
Does. Ha ! where ? with whom ? 
Cab. Hippolito. 

Re-enter George with pen and ink. 
Geo. Here, my lord. 

DcKE. H«ace with that woman ! void the room t 
Flu. Away ! the duke'a vexed. 


Geo. Whoop ! come, mistreas, the duke's mad 
too. [^Exeunt Viola and George. 

Duke. Who told me that Hippolito was dead? 

Cas. He that can make any man dead, the doc- 
tor. But, my lord, he's aa full of lite as wildfire, 
and as quick : Hippolito, the doctor, and one more, 
rid hence this evening ; the inn at which they light 
is Bethlem Monastery ; Infelice comes from Ber- 
gamo, and meets them there. Hippolito is mad, 
for he means this day to be married : the aflemoon 
is the hour, and friar Ansolmo is the knitter. 

Duke. From Bergatno ! is't possible? it cannot be. 
It cannot be. 

Cas. I will not swear, my lord ; 
But this intelligence 1 look from one 
Whose brains work" in the plot. 

DoKE. What's he? 

Cas. Matheo. 

Flu. Miktheo knows all. ^h 

Pio, He's Hippolito's bosom. ^H 

DuKB. Hon for stands Beihlem hence ? ^H 

&.,^...h« « — "•■'- ™ 

Duke. Is't so^f not married till the afternoon? 
Stay, stay, let's work out some prevention. How ? 
This is roost strange ; can none but madmen serve 
To dreaa their wedding-dinner ? All of you 
Get presently to horse, disguise yourselves 
Like country gentlemen. 
Or riding citizens, or so ; and take 
Each man a several path, but let us meet 
At Bethlem Monastery, some space of lime 

" iDDrt] So Mveral eda. First ed. " workes." 
' Cm., Flu., *.'.] Old edi. " Omnei." 
' Ii't IB, &C.J So several eda. First ed. 

" III euen n, nM marint till tht ^ftimtviw you mj," ', 


eing spent betneen tlie arrival each of other, 
\ As if we came to see the lunatics. 

horse ; away ! be secret, on your lives ; 
[ Love must be punish'd that unjustly thrives. 

[Exeunt all except Flubli.0. 

Fit'. Be secret, on your lives? Castruchio, 
E You're but a scurvy spaniel. Honest lord ! 
r Good lady ! zounds, their love is just, 'tis good ; 
f And 111 prevent you, though 1 swim in blood. 


It M Bethtevt Moiuutery. 
Enter Akseuio, Hippolito, Matueo, and Ikfelice. 

Hip. Nay, nay, resolve,!* good father, or deny. 

Am. You pre«i me to an act both full of danger 
And fiiU of happiness ; for 1 behold 
Yonr fiither's frowns, his threata, nay, perhaps death 
To him that dare do this : yet, noble lord, 
Such comfortable beams br^k through these clouds 
By this blest taairiaae, that, your honour'd word 
Beina pawn'd in my defence, I will tie fast 
The noly wedding knot. 

Hir. Tn^ fear not the duke. 

Ah. Oson, 
Wiaely to fear is to be free from fear. 

HiF. You have our words, and you shall have 
oor lives. 
To irnard yon safe from all ensuing danger. 

Mat. Ayi ay, chop 'em up and away. 

Av. Stay : when is't fit for me, safest for you, 
To entertain this bnainess 7 

Hip. Not till die evening. 

' rttotw] i e. satUfy— oonacDt. 

As. Be't so : there is a chapel etands hard by, 
Upon the west end of the abbey-wall j 
Thither convey yourselves ; and when the sun 

Can break the sacred bond : yet, lady, hei 
You are most safe. 

Inf. Father, your love's moat dear. 

Mat. Ay, well said; lock us into some little 
room by ourselves, that we may be mad for an 
hour or two. 

Hip. O good Matheo, no ! let's make no noise. 

Mat, How ? no noise ? do you know where you 
arc ? 'sfoot, amongst all the madcaps in Milan ; so 
that to throw the house out at window will be the 
better, and no man will suspect that we lurk here 
to steal rautton.P The more sober we are, the more 
scurvy 'tis ; and though the friar tell us that here 
we are safest, I'm not of his mind ; for if those Uy 
here that had lost their money, none would ever 
look after them : but here are none but those that 
have lost their wits ; so that if hue and cry be made, 
hither they'll come ; and my reason is, because none 
goes to be married till he be stark mad. 

Hip, MufHe yourselves; yonder's Fluello. 

Enter Fluello. 

Mat. Zounds ! 

Flu. O my lord, these cloaks are not for this 
rain I the tempest is too great : I come sweating to 
tell you of it, that you may get out of it. 

Mat. Why, what's the matter 1 

Flit. What's the matter ! you have mattered it 
fair : the duke's at hand. 

• lo iltal mullon] •' i. e. (a deal a wench. Afulloti, in tlia 
longuage of the limui, iiipiiGEd n fills iijoit." Rbek. 



All The duke .' 

Flv. Tlie very duke. 

Hip. Then all our plots 
Are lurn'd upon oar heads, and we're blown up 
With our own underminings. 'Sfoot, how comes he t 
What villain durst betray our being here ? 

Ftc. Caatnichio ; Cagtruchio told the duke, and 
Hatheo here told Castruchio. 

Hip. Would you betray nie to Castruchio 1 

HXt. 'Sfoot, he damned himself to the pit of hell 
if he spake on't again. 

Hip, So did you swear to me ; so were you 

Mat. Pox on 'em, and there be no faith in men, 
if a man shall not bdieve oaths. He took bread 
and ultii by this light, that he woitld never open 
bis lips. 

Hip. O God, O God ! 

Ak. Son, be not desperate. 
Have patience ; you shall trip your enemy down 
By hU own slights,'— How far is the duke hence? 

Flo. He's but new set out ; Castruchio, Pioratto, 
■sd Sinezi, come along with bim ; you have time 
enough yet to prevent* them, if you have but 

Am. You shall steal secretly into the chapel. 
And presently be married. If the duke 
Abide here still, spite of ten thousand eyes 
You ahall 'scape hence like friars. 

Hip. O blest disguise ! ' O happy man I 

Aw. Talk not of happiness, tiU your closed band 

' diglUi] i. e. artificM. 

* pmnfl i. e. uiIicipRte. 

* Ji^MMj So ■eTcra] edt. Fint ed. " dUgvisde." 



Have her by th' forehead like the lock of time. 
Be nor too slow nor hasty, now you climb 
Up to tlie lower of bliss; only be wary 
And patient, that's all. If yoit like my plot. 
Build and despatch ; if not, farewell, then not. 

Hip. O yea, we do applaud it ! we'll dispute 
No longer, but will hi'nce and execute. 
Fluello, you'll stay here ; let us be gone. ^ 

The ground that frighted" lovers tread upon ^H 
la stuck with thorns. ^| 

Ak. Come, then, sway : 'tis meet, ^| 

To escape those thorns, to put on winged feet. 

[^Exeunt Anselho, Hippolito, and Infelice. 

Mat. No words, pray,* Fluello, for't stands us 

Etc. O sir, let that be your lesson ! 

[Exit Mateieo. 
Alaa, poor lovers ! on what hopes and fears 
Men toss themselves for women ! when she's go^ j 
The best has in her that which pleaseth not. 

Enter the Duke, Castruciiio, Pioratto, and Sof 
from differetit sidei. 7nuJ}led. 

Ddsk. Who's there? 

Cas. My lord! 

Ddke. Peace, send that lord away ; 
A lordship will spoil all : let's be all fellows. 
What's be? 

Cas. Fluello ; or else Sinezi, by his little leg 


Pio. [All friends, all friends. 

Sin. J 

■■ /righled] 8a Mvornl edt. Finl ed. " ftaighlcd. 
'jtray] So Bcscral ed». Firal ed. '• 1 proy'"— bui 

■ prag] S 

Mat. No wordi, Fluello, for't slandi ui 
Flu. O lir, 1 pnj', let Ili&t be your leu 


DcKs. Wkat ? m«t upon the rery point of time ! 
U ihii tb« piUee ! 

Pio. Thw is tlie place, my lord. 

Ddkk. Dream you od lordships t come, do moie 
lords, prsy. 
You have not «e«n tbe»e lovers yet t 

All. Not yet 

DvKE. Cutradtio, art thoa sure this wetlding feat 
la itot till aftenmoa t 

Ca>. So 'tis given out, my lord. 

DcKs. Nay, nay, 'tis like ; thieves must observe 
their hours; 
Lovers waicb luiouies like astronomers. 
Hoo tball the interim hours by us be spent ? 

Flu. Let's all go see the madmen. 

Pio. |Haas,oontenL 

Enter a Sweeper." 

DuxE. O, here comes one; question him, quea- 
tion him. 

Flu. How now, honest fellow 7 dost thou belong 
to the house ? 

SwKEP. Yes, forsooth, I am one of the imple- 
ments; I sweep the madmen's rooms, and fetch 
straw for 'em, and buy chains to tie 'em, and rods 
to whip 'em. I was a mad wag myself here once; 
but I Uiank father Anselmo, he lashed me into my 
right mind again. 

Duke. Anselmo is the friar must marry them ; 
Question him where be is. 

« Enttr a Suerper] Old edi. have, " Enter Towne like a 
HMtprr," and prefl]i "Towne" to Ml ipeechei, — and lo in 
I>o£ief» Old Flayi I Tovne «u the name of the actor who 
pbycd tbii part : Iheie were two pcrformen lo called, — John 
and Tboinai Towna : sea Collier'i HUl. <{/' EngL Dram. Peil., 
voL i. pp. 118, Ul. 



Cas. And where n (aiber Aiuelmo now ? 

SwiKP. Marry, he's gone but e'ea now. 

IhrKE. Ay, well done, — Tell me, wrhiiher is he 

SvEu*. Why, to God a'mighty. 

Tlv. Ha. ba! this feHow is a fool, talks idly. 

Pio. Simh. are all the mad folks in Milan 
broaght hither ? 

Sweep. How, all t tltere's a wise question indeed i 
why, if all the mad folks in Milan should come 
hither, there would not be lef) ten men in the city, 

DcKE. Few gentlemen or courtiers here, ha? 

Sweep. O yes, abundance, abundance ! lands no 
sooner (all into their hands but straight they run 
out a' their wits : citizens' sons and heirs are free 
of the house by their fatliers' copy : farmers' sona 
come hither like geese, in floclu ; and when they 
ha' sold all their corn-fields, here they sit and pick 
the straws. 

Sin. Methinks you should have women here as 
well as men. 

Sweep. O ay, a plague on 'em, there's no ho with 
them ;* they are madder than March-hares. 

Flu. Are there no lawyers here amongst you ? 

Sweep. O no, not one ; never any lawyer : we 
dare not let a lawyer come in, for he'll make *em 
tnad faster than we can recover 'era. 

Duke. And how long is't ere you recover any of 
these 7 

Sweep. Why, according to the quantity of the 
moon that's got into 'em. An alderman's son will 
be mad a great while, a very great while, especially 
if his friends left him well ; a whore will hardly 





TirX nOlTEBT WBOBE. 107 

come to her wits again ; a puritan, there's no hope 
of him, unless he m^y pull down the steeple, and 
hang himself i' ih' bell-ropes. 

Flu. 1 perceive all sorts of fish come to your net. 

SwEBr. Yes, in truth, we have hlocks' for all 
heads ; we have good siore of wild oats here ; for 
the courtier is mad at tlie citizen, the citizen is 
mad at ilie countryman,* the shoemaker is mad at 

the cobbler, the cobbler at tlie carman, the punk it 
tnad that the merchant's wife is no i*hore, the 
nxrchani's wife is mad that the punk is so common 
a whore. God's-so, here's father Anselmo ! pray, 
say nothing that I tell tales out of the school. 

Be-enter Anseluo and Senantt. 
All. God bless you, father ! 
An. Thank you, gentlemen. 
Caa. Pray, may we see some of those wretched 

That here are in your keeping? 

Ah. Yea, you shall ; 
But, gentlemen, I tnnit disarm you then : 
There are of madmen, as there are of tame, 
AU hmnour'd not alike : we have here some 
So apish and fantastic, play with a feather ; 
And, though 'twould grieve a soul to see God's 

So blemish'd and de&c'd, yet do they act 
Such antic and such pretty lunacies. 
That, spite of sorrow, they will make you smile : 
Others again we have like hungry lions, 
VxTce as wild bulls, untameable as flies ; 

r Mocb} Lchata — ■ notunlrequentseDieDrthenDrdi pro- 
parif, tbc moulds od which the crowni of hati vere foinied. 
■ ttmtrgtmt] So Kveial edt. Fint ed. '* countrymen." 

I is fortune, 
t Bergamo. 



And these have oftentimes from strangers' sides 
Snatdi'd rapiers suddenly, and done much harm ; 
Whom if you'll see, you must be weaponless. 

All. With all our hearts. 

[Giving thc'iT fueapoiti to Anscluo. 

Ah. Here, take these weapons io. — 

[^Exit Semanl jpith nvapoiu. 
Stand offa little, pray ; •" ■>" '.;. u,oii 
I'll shew you here a man tnat was 
A very grave and wealthy citizen 
Has serv'd s prenticeship to this i 
Been here seven years, and dwelt 

Duke. How fell he from his wita t 

Ak. By loss at sea. 
I'll stand aside, question him you alone ; 
For if he spy me, he'll not apeak a word, 
Unless he's throughly vex'd. 

Opens a door and then retires : enter First Madmnn 
wrapt in a net.' 
Fli]. Alas, poor soul \ 
Cas. a very old man. 
Duke. God speed, father I 
First Mad. God speed the plough! tliou shall 

Pio, We see you, old raan, for all you dance in 
a net. 

First Mad. True, but thou wilt dance in a halter, 
and 1 shall not see thee. 

An. O, do not vex him, pray! 

Cas. Are you a fisherman, father? 

■ 0/vni a door, &c.] Old eds.*have, " DiKanrri an eld nan 
wrapl IN a orf," but preSx " firal Madmnn" to hli ipeecKts. 
Tbat he cdraei out, and ii not merely iliewn in his crll, it 
FviHcnl from what Ansdmo sftcTwnrds stya to the servant, — 
" Take liira in ilierc," 

Tfinc HOSEST TTHose. 1 09 

FnsT Mad. No, I'ln neither iish nor flt^sli. 

Ftr. What do you with that net, then? 

First .Mad. Dost not see, fool, there's a fresh 
salmon in't? If you step one foot further, you'll l>e 
0T« shors for you see I'm over head and cars" in 
Uie salt water: and if you fall into this whirlpool 
where I am, you're drowned, you're a drowned 
rat ' — I am fishing here for five ships, bui I cannol 
haTe a good draught, for my net breaks still, and 
breaks ; but I'll break some of your necks, and" I 
caich you in my clutches. Stay, stay, stay, stay, 
stay : where'* the wind, where's the wind, where'* 
tbe wind, where's the wind ? Out, you gulls, you 
goosecaps, yoti gudgeon -eaters I do you look for 
Uie wind in the heavens ? ha, ha, ha, ha ! no, no ! 
look there, look there, look there ! the wind is 
always at that door ; hark, how it blows ! puff, pufT, 

All. Ha, ha, ha ! 

FiUT Mad. Do you laugh at God's creatures 7 
do you mock old age, you rogues 1 is this grey 
beard and head counterfeit, that you cry ha, ha, ha 1 
— Sirrah, art not thou my eldest son 7 

Pio. Yes indeed, father. 

FiUT Mad. Then thou'rt a fool ; for my eldest 
son had a polt foot,'' crooked legs, a verjuice face, 
and a pear-coloured* beard : I made him a scholar, 
and he made himself a fool. — Sirrah, thou there ! 
bold out thy hand. 

DoxE. My hand 7 well, here 'tis. 

FiBST Mad. Look, look, look, look I bas he not 
long naila and short hair 7 

* tmi} So ed. 163S. Other eds. ■' etx." • and] i e. if. 
' mptUfool] •' Se«mi to be the isme we now call a iplag 
fat." EasD. Rather, ■ club-foot. 


short b&ir and abominable 
long nails. 

Fmax Mad. Ten-penny nails, are they not? 

Flu. Ves, ten-penny nails. 

Fjbst Mab. Such nails had my second 1 
Kneeldonn, thou Tarletjandask thy father's bleu Jngi 
Such nails had my middlemost son, and I made 
him a promoter;* and he scraped, and scraped, and 
scraped, till be got the devil and all : but he scraped 
thus, and thus, and thus, and it went under his 
legs, till at length a company of kites, taking him 
for carrion, swept up all, all, all, all, all, all, all. 
If you love your lives, look to yourselves ! see, see, 
see, see, the Turk's galleys are fighting with my 
ships ! bounce go" the guns ! O — O, cry the men ! 
rumblci rumble go the waters ! alas, there, 'tis sunk, 
'tis sunk I I am undone, I am undone ! you are the 
damned pirates have undone me, you are, by th' 
lord, you are, you are! — stop 'em — you are ! 

An. Why, how now, sirrah ? must I fall to tame 
you I 

First Mad. Tame me ? no ; I'll be madder than 
a roasted cat. See, see, I am burnt with gunpowder ! 
these are our close fights ! 

An. I'll whip you, if you grow unndy thus, 

First Mad. Whip me ? out, you toad ! whip me ? 
what justice is this, to whip me because I'm a 
beggar 7 Alas, I am a poor man, a very poor man ! 
I am starved, and have had no meat, by this light, 
ever since the great flood ; I am a poor man. 

An, Well, well, be quiet, and you shall have 

First Mad. Ay, ay, pray, do ; for, look you, 



rax BOHEST WHOftE. Ill 

bere be tny gnta ; these are my ribs, you may look 
through my ribs ; gee bow tny gau corne out I 
theae ate my red guts, my very guts, O, O I 
Ax. Take him in there. 

[Servantt remove Fir it Madman, 

Cas. Father, I see you have a busy charge. 

Am. They must be us'd like children; pleu'd 
with toys, 
Aod anon nhipt for iheir unrulinesa. 
I'll shew you now a pair quite different 
From hint that's gone ; he was all wards ; and these, 
Unless you urge 'em, seldom spend theit speech. 
But save their tongues. 

La, you ; this hithermost 
Fell from the happy quietness of mind 
About a maiden that he lov'd, and died : 
He foUow'd her to church, being full of tears, 
Aod as her body went into the ground. 
He fell stark mad. That is a married man. 
Was jealous of a fair, but, as some say, 
A very virtuous tvife ; and that ipoil'd him. 

Third Mad. All these are whoremongers, and lay 
with my wife : whore, whore, whore, whore, whore! 

Flu. Observe him. 

Third Mad. Gaffer shoemaker, you pulled on my 
wife's pumps, and then crept into her pantofies ." 
lie there, lie there ! — This was her tailor. You cut 
out her loose-bodied gown, and put in a yard more 
than I allowed her : lie there, by the shoemaker. 

'' jKal^i] A sort o[ slippcn. 

— O master doctor, are yoii here ? you g 
purgation, aod tlien crept into my wife's chamber 
to feel her pulses ; and you said, and she said, and 
ber maid said, that tliey went pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat, 
pit-a-pat : doctor, I'll put you anon into my wife's 
urinal.— Heigh, come alofC Jack ! ' This was her 
BchoolmasIeT, and taught her to play upon the vir- 
ginals;'' and still his jacks leapt up, up. You 
pricked her out nothing but bawdy lessons ; but 
I'll prick you all ! fiddler — doctor — tailor — shoe- 
maker, — shoemaker — fiddler — doctor — tailor I— 

! lie 


Cas. See how he notes the other now he fed 

Third Mad. Give me some porridge. 

Sec. Mad. I'll give thee none. 

Third Mad. Give me some porridge. 

Sec. Mad. I'll not give thee a bit. 

Third Mad. Give me that flap-dragon.' 

Sec. Mad. I'll not give thee a spoonful ; I 
liest, it's no dragon ; 'tis a parrot that I bought for 
my sweetheart, and I'll keep it. 

Third Mad. Here's an almond for parrot.^ 

Sec. Mad. Hang thyself! 

' come aloft, Jack'i The eiclsmalion ofn master to an ape 
lb at had been laaght lo tumble and play Dicks. 

'' virginals 1 and ilill hit jaeki, &c.] The virginala was an 
iiutrumeDt of the ipinnel kind : for ■ coirecl dcicriplion of 
it, see Narei'» GIou. in v. — In ■ note on the Second Part of 
ihii drama Steeveni ciiei from Bacon, " In a inV^naJ as soon 
u ever the jack falleth and touchelh the alnag, ibe sound 

< flap-dragon] See note, vol. i. p. 60. 

' OH almiad far parrot'] "The tille of a pamphlet JliyNaih], 
c»lled, •An Almond for a PottoI, or Culhbcrt Carr j- Jtbom* WJHk.' 
B. L., no dale, is here alluded lo." Recd. — There is no such 
allmion. The cxpreuion, " an almond for parrot," is old 
(it occurs in Skelion), and bj no meant uncommon. See my 
note on Webater*! Warki, vol iiL p. 122. 



Tbibd Mas. Here's a rope for parrot/ 

Sec. Mad. Eat it, for I'll eat this. 

TtiiitD Mad. I'll shoot at thee, and* thou'i giv 

Sec. Mad. Wu't thou ? 


. ni n 

1 a tilt at thee, and thou'i g 

Sec. Mad. Wu't thou ? do, and thou dareat. 

Tui&D Mad. Bounce ! 

Sec. Mad. O — 0, 1 am slain ! murder, murder, 
murder ! I am slain ; my brains are beaten out. 

An, How now, you villains ! — Bring me whips — 
I'll whip you. 

Sec. Mad. 1 am dead I I am slain 1 ring out the 
bell, for I am dead. 

Duke. How will jrou do now, sirrah 7 you Iia' 
kiU'd hira. 

Third Mad. I'll answer't at sessions. He was 
nting of almond- butter, and I longed for't ; the 
child had never been delivered out of my belly, if I 
hid not killed him. I'll answer't at sessions, so my 
wife may be bomt i' th' hand too. 

Am. Take 'em in both ; bury him, for he's dead. 

Sec. Mad. Ay, indeed, I am dead ; put me, I 
jnj, into a good pit-hole. 

'Tbiui Mad. I'll answer't at sessions. 

[_StTvaiUt remove Second and Third Madmen. 

Enter Bbllafbont. 
An. How now, huswife ? whither gad you? 

' a npr far forrai] Another proverbiil cxpreiMau. Tajrlor, 
ikwitn-poet, hu ui cpigTBin beginning, 

" Why doth the Parnit cry a Rope, ■ Rope ? 
BeouM hee'i cag'd in priion uut of hope." 

Efigram, p. ISS—Worka, 1630. 
( nd] i. e. iL 

114 tilt IIONCST WHORE. 

&SL. A nulling, forsooth. — How do you, gafTcr? 
— how do yoii, gaffer? — lliere's a French curisej' 
for 50U too. 

Flu. Tis Bellttfront ! 

Pio. 'Tis the punk, by th" lord ! 

Duke. Father, what's she, I pray? 

An. As yet I know not : 
She cRmi; in but* this day ; talks little idly, 
And therefore has the freedom of the house. 

Bel. Do not you know me? — nor ; 

Bel. Then you a 
— and you are an as 

An. Why, what a 
are they ? 

Bel. They're fish-wives : will you buy any gud- 
geons ? God's-santy,^ yonder come friars ! I know 
them too,' — 

itr-CTi((rHii-poLiTo, M 

How do you, friar ? 

Ak. Nay, nay, away ; you 

Tlie duke is here, speak notlnng, 
Bel. Nay, indeed, you shall m 
barley-break' first, and you shall be 

1 ill ftuf] So levcral cds. First cd. 

' Corf'«-Mii/sl " See D nole 011 The Mirehanl 0^ Fm<X, 
iii. p. 1S7. edit 1778, [whcro Sieevena says, ' PerhspB ii was 
once cuBlomar; )o Eweir by tlm tantt, i. c. htatlh, at the 
Supreme Being,' ftc] Ferhapi, hawevFr, Go<r t-taulij is attly 
B corruption of Gad't mmetUy, or GhTj lainh." SteevCns. 

' barles-breair'] Or the tail tevplr m Ae//,— WM n game plnjed 
by III people, inree of each sex, wlio were coupled by lot : 
■ee Oifford'i deieriplion of it, — note on Massinger'a irurti, 
vol.i. p. 104, ed.lS13. 




Mat. My punk tura'd mad whore, M »1I ber fel- 

HiF. Speak nothing ; but steal hence when you 
spy time. 

As. I'll lock you up, if you're unruly : fie ! 

BtL. Fip ? marry, fob ! they gholl not go, indeed, 
till I ha' told 'em their fortuneg. 

Ihst:. Good father, give her leave. 

BiL. Ay, pray, good father, and I'll give you my 

Ac. Well, Ihen, be brief; but if you're thus un- 
m ha*e you lock'd up fast. 

Pio. Come, to their fortunes. 

Bel. Let me see ; one, two, three, and four. I'll 
begin with the little friar' first. Here's a fine hand 
iadeed ! I never saw friar have such a dainty hand : 
iere's a hand for a lady ! Here's your fortune : 
Vou love a friar better than a nun ; 
Yet long youll love no friar nor no friar's son. 
Bo* a fittle : 

the line of life is out ; yet, I'lti afraid, 
For all you're holy, you'll not die a maid. 
God give you joy ! — 
Nob to you, friar Tuck.J 

Mat. God send me good luck ! 

Bel. You love one, and one loves you ; 
Vou're a false knave, and she's a Jew. 
Hate is a dial that false ever goes 

Hat. O, your wit drops. 

BsL. Troth, so does your nose. — 
"ay, let's shake hands with you too ; pray, open i 
here's a fine hand ! 

' tittU/riarl i. e., of cDune, Infelice : — in Dodslcy'i 014 
Pl^, " ttlllt fin^ 1 " 
' friar IWi} The fiunoui chsplaia of Robin Hood. 


Ho, friar, ho ! God be here ! 

So be had need ; you'll keep good cheer. 

Here's a free table,'' but a frozen breast, 

For you'll starve tlioae that love you beat : 

Yet you've good fortune, for if I'm no liar, 

Then you're no friar, nor you, nor you, no frioVt^ 



[DitcoeeTi (MI 


E. Are holy habit 

cloaks for villany ? f 


ill your weapons '. 
Do ; draw all yo 

r Treapor 




E. Where arc you 


? draw! m 

^^JThe friar ha 

guU'd u 

of 'em. "M 


. O rare trick ! 


You ha' learnt one mad point of ar 

thmetic. 1 


Why swells your 
wiiat bosom 

spleen s 

a high ? againit 


you your weapon 
daughter's ; 

a draw ? 

her's ? 'tis your 



'tis your son's, 

E. Son i 



. Son, by yonder sun ! 
You cannot shed blood h 

re but 'tis your 

To spill your own blood were damnation. 

Lay smooth that wrinkled brow, and I will throw 

Myself beneath your feet : 

Let it be rugged still and flinted o'er. 

What ran come forth but sparkles, that will burn 

Yourself and us 7 She's mine ; my claim's 

good ; 
She's mine by marriage, though she's yours '! 

* tabic] A quibble. Tabic meant the palm of the 


Ajc. [fciwirdgj I have a hand,' dear lord, deep in 
this act. 
For 1 foresaw this storm, yet willingly 
Put forth to meet it. Oft have I seen a father 
Washing the wounds of his dear son in tears, 
A son 10 curse the Bword that struck his father, 
Both slain i' th' quarrel of your families. 
Those scars are now ta'en off; and I beseech you 
To seal our pardon ! AH was to this end. 
To turn the ancient hates of your two houses 
To fresh green friendship, that your loves might look 
Like the spring's forehead, comfortabty sweet, 
A.nd jour veit'd souls in peaceful union meet. 
Their blood will now be yours, yours will be theirs. 
And happiness shall crown your silver hairs. 
Fin. You a«e, my lord, there's now no remedy. 
T^' - I Beseech your lordship! 
Ddkk. You beseech fair ; you have me in place fie 
To bridle me. — Rise, friar ; you may be glatt 
Yoa can make mad men tame, and tame men mad, 
Since fate hath conquer'd, I must rest content ; 
To strive now would but add new punishmenL 
I yield unto your happiness ; be blest ; 
Out families shall henceforth breathe in rest. 
All. O happy change ! 
Duke, Yours now is my content ;° 
1 tWw upon your joys my full consent. 

Bel. Am not I a good girl fop finding the friar 
b the well 7 God's-so, you are a brave man I will 
Dot you buy me some sugar-plumbs, because I am 
" a fort " " 

f> good a fortune-teller 7 

'I)mtaluBid,e[c.] Givi 
nippoUto's ipecch. 

* oMnj] Fint two eds. " content " in both lineL Other 
''■'"coDKot" in first line and " content'' in lecond. 

As I have Kill lo give I 

BsL. Pretty aoul ? a pretty soul is better than a 
pretty body. — Do not you know my pretty muIT 
I know you : is not your name Matheo f 

Mat, Yes, lamb. 

Bel. Baa, lamb! there you lie, for I am mut- 
ton." — Look, fine man ! he was mad for me once, 
and I Ras mad for him once, and he was mad for 
her once ; and were you never mad ? yes, I warrant. 
I had a fine jewel once, a very fine jewel, and that 
naughty man stole it away from me, — a very fine 

DufCE. What jewel, pretty maid ! 
Bel. Maid ? nay, that's a lie. O, 'twas a very 
ricli jewel, called a maidenhead ! and Iiad not you 

it, lee 


h palti^ 

Mat. Out, you mad ass, away '. 

Duke. Had he thy maidenhead? 
He shall make thee amends, and marry thee. 

Bel. Shall he I O brave Arthur of Bradlej 

Di;ke. And if he bear tJtc mind of a 
1 know he will. 

Mat. I think I rifled her of some 

Di;ke. Did you 7 then marry her ; you see the 

Has led her spirits into a lunacy. 

Mat. How 1 marry her, my lord ? 'ifoot, marry 
a mad woman ! let a man get the tamest wife he 

<' mufhm] 8«e note, p. ID2. 

' O brace Arlhut^Braititg'] '| An alluiion to tlieoldbiUlsd 
of thst Dime, which ii printed in ' An antidote agiiait me- 
lancholy, made up iu pill*, 16fil.' " — Reed. 


enough afternard, do 
, father Anselmo here shall do 

cm come by, shell be mad e 
wiial he can. 

Duke. Nay, thei 
his best 
To bring her to her wits : and will you then ? 

KIat. 1 cannot tell ; I maj choose. 

Dntc. Nay, then, law shall compel : I tell you, 

So much her hard fate moves me, you should not 

Under this air, imleaa you married her. 

Mat. Well, then, when her v " 
right place, I'U marry her. 

Bel. I thank your grace. — Matheo, thou art 

I sin not mad, but put on this disguise 

Only for you, my lord ; for you can tell 

Much wonder of me : but you are gone ; farewell. 

Matheo, thou didst first turn iny soul black, 

Now make it whit« again. I do protest, 

I'm pure ai fire now, chaste as Cynthia's breast. 

Hip. I dutst he sworn, Matheo, she's indeed. 

Mat. Cony-catch'd!" guli'd! must I sail in your 
Because I help'd to rear your mainmast first ? 
Plague 'foundP you for't ! 'Tis well ; 
The cuckold's stamp goes current in all nations ; 
Some men have horns given them at their creations ; 
If I be one of those, why, so, it's belter 
To take a common wench, and make her good, 
Than one that simpers, and at first will scarce 
Be tempted forth over the threshold door, 
Yet ID one se'nnight, zounds, turns arrant whore. 


120 THE 

Come, wench, thou shall be i 

We'll talk of legs hereafter. — See, my lord I 
God give us joy I 

All. God give you joy I 

Enler Viola and Ge( 

Geo. Come, mistresa, we are in Bedlam now; 
mass, and see, we come in pudding-lime, for here's 
ihe duke. 

Vio. My husband, good my lord ! 

Duke. Have 1 thy husband ? 

Cas. It's Candida, my lord ; he's here among the 
lunatics. — Father Anselmo, pray, fetch him forth, 
{Exit Anselmo.]— This mad wompn is hia wife; and 
though she were not with child, yet did she long 
most spitefully to have her husband mad ; and be- 
cause she would be sure he should turn Jew, she 
plitced him here in fiethlcm. Yonder he comes ! 

Ee-enter Ahselmo n-'ilb Candido. 

Duke. Come hither, signer ; 

Can. You are not mad. 

Duke. Why, 1 know ihat. 

Can. Then may you know 

You are not mad, and that you are the duke. 
None is mad here but one. — How do you, wife? 
What do you long for now ! — Pardon, my lord ; 
She had lost her child's nose else : I did cut out 
Pennyworths of lawn, the lawn was yet mine own ; 
A carpet was my' gown, yet 'twas mine own ; 
1 wore my man's coat, yet the cloth mine own j 
Had a crack'd crown, the crown was yet mine own : 

u mad? 

t mad, that 

r golh] See 

!. p. 23. 

ly] So seversl eA\. Firit ed. ' 

w yet mf/." 


She SITS for this I'm mad : were her words true, 
1 should he mad indeed. O foolish skill l^ 
Is pitience madness ? I'll he a madman still. 
Vio. Forgive me, and I'll vex your spirit no more. 

DcKE. Come, come, we'll have you friends ; join 

hearts, join hands. 
Cak. See, my lord,' we are even. — . 
^*7> rise ; for ill deeds kneel unto none hut heaven. 
I^KE. Signor, methinks patience has laid on you 

Sucb heavy weight, that you should loathe it 

Cak. Loathe it ? 

I^KB. For he whose hreast is tender, hlood so 
*j^t no wrongs heat it, is a patient fool : 
"hat comfort do you find in being so calm ? 
Can, That which green wounds receive from 
sovereign balm. 
'^>tience, ray lord ! why, 'tis the soul of peace ; 
^» all the virtues 'tis nearest kin to heaven ; 
" niakcs men look like gods. The best of men 
^M e'er wore earth about him was a sufferer, 
•■^ soft, meek, patient, humble, tranquil spirit, 
^e first true gentleman that ever breath'd. 
1 ne stock of patience, then, cannot be poor ; 
AH it desires it has ; what monarch more ? 
It is the greatest enemy to law 
That can be ; for it doth embrace all wrongs, 
And 80 chains up lawyers' and women's tongues : 
Tis the perpetual prisoner's liberty. 
His walks and orchards : 'tis the bond-slave's free- 

' **i7/] i. e. reason. 

' Sff, my It/rd, &c.] An imperfect couplet : see note, p. -5 '2. 

And makes him seem proud of each iron chain, I 
As though he wore it more for state than pain ; 1 
It is the beggars' music, nnd thus sings. 
Although their bodies be^, their souls are kingtf'' 
O my dreuil liege! it is the sap of bliss, 
Rears us aloft, makes men and angels kiss : 
And, last of all, to end a household strife, 
It is the honey 'gainst a waspish wife. 

Di;ki:. Thou giv'st it lively colours : who dare 
He's mad whose words march in so good array ? 
'Twere sin all women should such husbands have. 
For every man must then be bis wife's slave : 
Come, therefore, you shall teach our court to shine ; 
So ctdm a spirit is worth a golden mine. 
Wives with meek husbands that to vex them long. 
In Bedlam must they dwell, else dwell they wrong. 
[Exeunt omnet. 




ad latltif, Ihi CimicaU Piutagrt 
U, vhir, the Srant ndt. WrilUn by Thorn 
l^v. Undo,, Prmttd by EluaMh AU-it.Jar ffathaBirl 
*«>".^itB««. 1B30. *W. 

^«nrtln iiDpraoim th*n tlut al 16S0 ■■ known to exist. 
''^ bm rFpnnlvd in the secnnil uiil third edilioiii of 
^c>'a OIH Play; rol. jii. ; and, ai Iherc given, ia perhaps 
'*■ BOM mrticbciUy rdited dnma in the Ensli>l< language. 

tit *u Uuniwd bf Sit George Bucke. SOth April, lliOS -. 
>■ Chalmm'i Sappk Apul. p. 203 (where it is by miiiake 
*« " th> emaiaid," inatead of (be " converted CouTtiian, 
vBguiiWbore"). Aa Midilleton ceriainly wroie a portion 
■•^ llm Part of ihii plaj (»ee p, 3 of (he preaeni vol.), 
'^ it tttry reaaon to believe ibst he «at concemetl in the 
.^oiition of the Secoad Pi 

the tl lie-page (nakea no mention of ili having been 
d on the atage, Luigboine very unnecesaatily con- 
w> (hat it «aa never acted. " The Daxsage," he continue*, 
^irn the l^cieui Man and hii Impatient Wife'i going 

a Hairinpon in Verae. See hi* Epigraina a 
laa^ FarufD, Book 1. Epigt. 16." ' ' 
■■ fttti, p. 122, The epigram in queation 

*■' of Oiiaado Fmiato. Book 1. Epigt. 16." Aec <if Engl. 
"^ - .— ™ ■ - ,j,„ folium,; 

A dan and iiire atroue eatil who ahoiilil be maileti. 
^ liBUinf choDg'd between them Louahold ipeeches, 
TW mm in wrath bmueht forth a paire o( waalefm,* 
Aid ivorv thoae S ahoiild proue who ware the brcechei. 
Ih thu cmM breake hia head ;et giue him plaaten, 
AcMpa ibe challeni 
IWihae (tawnakc 
tad lei htm ward, a 


Shee flourishing as though she would not misse him. 
Laid downe her cudgell, and with witty mocke 
She told him for his kindnes she would kisse him 
That now was swome to gtue her neuer knock : 
You sware, said she, I slMuld the first hlow giue. 
And I sweare Tie neuer strike you while I Uue. 

Ah flattring slut, said he, thou dar'st not fight I 
I am no larke, quoth she, man doe not dare me,^ 
Let me point time and place, as 'tis my right 
By law of challenge, and then neuer spare me. 
Agreed, said he. Then rest (quoth sne) to night ; 
To*morrow, at Cuckolds hauen. Tie prepare me. 
Peace, wife, said he, wee'le cease all rage and rancor. 
Ere in that Harbor I will ride at Ancor." 

" Although Harington's Epigrams," says the last editor of 
Dodsley's Old Plays, " were not printed in an entire state 
until 1618 (see Ritson's BibL PoeL 236), yet many of them 
were written when their author (who died in 1612) was a very 
young man. It seems probable that the incident was founded 
upon the epi^fram ; for though Sir John Harington borrowed 
fn>m ther Latin and Italian, he most likely would not steal 
from an English play, especially when it appears that his ori- 
grinality had been attacked." 

^ I am no larke . . . doe not dare nu] To dare larke meant to 
catch larks by terrifying them with a hawk, a mirror, &c 


[HrcLiCB, v^t to IBppoHto. 
BELLirnoHT, wift to Malkeo. 
CiKMDo'* Bride. 
HllTU«i BomsELEECH, a bowd. 

PEKELOre Wbokebodhd, \lurll 


Scene, Milan. 

■ Friteoialde] Ought, properly, to be written Prtteoialdai 
but I tUTc not altered tke oithograplif of the old ed., became 
Malheo taji to bim, " I'Ufiriteo you," act it. ic 1 ; and when 
Lodovico (fbi^tting to addreai him by hii aaiumed name 
■rf Fwheco) i^llj him " Friicohaldo," he replies, " Priiking 
•gBin!" act IT. tc 2. 




A Hall in Hipfolho's Houte. 

On one tide enter Besaldo, Cakolo, Fomtihbll, and 
Abtolfo, mith Sermng-men or Paget atten£ng ; 
on the other tide enlfr Xoiwvico. 

LoD. Good day, gallants. 

All. Good morrow, aweet Lodovico. 

Loo, How dost thou, Carolo? 

Car. Faith, as physicians do in a plague ; see 
ibe world sick, and am well mygelf. 

Fox. Here's a aweet morning, gentlemen. 

LoD. O, A morning to tempt Jove from his 
ningle^ Ganymede ; which is but to give dairy- 
wenchea green gowns as they are going a>inilking. 
What, is thy lord stirring yet? 

AsT. Ye« i he will not be horsed this hour, sure. 

Bbb. My lady swears he shall, for she longs to 
be at court. 

' utngU] See note, vol. ii. p. i9S. 


A spur : wo3^^ 

Cak. O, we shall ride snitch and 
we were there once I 

Enter Bbtax. 

Loo. How now, U thy lord ready ? 

Bkt. No, ho erees sa' me; my lady will ha<e 
8ome little ting in her pelly first. 

Car. O, then they'll to breakfast. 

LoD. Footman, does my lord ride i' th' coach 
with my lady, or on horseback ? 

B&v. No, foot, la, my lady will have me lord 
sheet nid her ; my lord will sheet in de one side, 
and ray lady sheet in dc todcr side. [£xif. 

LoD- My lady sheet in de toder side ! did you 
ever hear a rascal talk so like a pagant is't not 
strange thai a fellon' of his star should be seen 
here so long in Italy, yet speak so from a Christian ? 

Enter Antdkio mith a boot. 

AsT. An Irishman in Italy 1 thai so strange 7 
why, ihe nation have running heads.'' 

LoD. Nay, Carolo. this is more strange ; I ha' 
been in France, iliere's few of them ; marry, Eng- 
land they count a warm chimney-corner, and there 
they swarm like crickets to the crevice of a brew- 
house ; but, sir, in England I have noted one thing. 

B*' *c 4 ™''*''' '^^^' "''*^'* '*'"* "f England ? 
LoD. Irtarry this, sit; — what's be yonder! 
Ber. a poor fellow would speak with my lord. 
LoD. In England, sir — troth I ever laugh when 
I think on't, to see a whole nation should be marked 

a stage-dim (ton 


■' th' forehead, as a man may say, with one iron — 
why, air. there all cosiennongcrs'are Irishmen. 

CiE. O, that's 10 shew their antiquity, as coming 
from Eve, who was an apple-wife, and they take 
after the mother. V 

I bUl'., ^c} *^*""'' S*"*^ ' ^^' '*'* ' 

I LoD. Why, then, should all your chimncy- 

■weepera likewise be Irishmen ? answer that now ; 

come, your wit. 

Car. Faith, that's soon answered ; for saint 

Patrick,* you know, keeps purgatory ; he makes 

^lbe fire, and his countrymen could do nothing if 
ihey cannot sweep the chimneys. 

Los. Then, sir, have you many of them, like 
tliii fellow, especially those of his hair, footmen to 
Bolilemen and others,'' and the knaves are very 
bithfu] where they love ; by my faith, very proper 

' etttentoMgtrt'} " Sellers of spptei." Reed. 

■ —bit Ptttriek, 4«.] Saint Patrick's Purgslor; oai a CBTern 
- m die louthem part of the county of Donenll, much fre- 
fgtotcd try pilgrinu : ue ■ loog aole concerning; it, bv Reed, 
OB UejWMd'i Fernr P't,— Doddey'i Old Playt, vol. i. p. 59, 
latt td. ; alao the pieCstoiy matter to Ouiain Miltt, in a Tery 
'aumuAaaj volume, coDtaining Ibat sad othei pieces of early 
poetTT, c£ted by Mr. W. B. D. D. Tumbull and Mr. D. Laing, 
EdiDb. IS37. 

^ fmtmai ta luAInmi nif of Acn] When tliU play wu written 
many Bngliah " noblemeu and othen" had Irish running 
footmen in their Mnrice. So in CxpitTi Whirligig, ed. 16]6, 
" Coue, thou bast such a running wit, 'tis like an Yriihfoitit 
trf," aig. E 3; in Brathwaif a Strappadcfer tkt Diutll, IGIS, 

'For see those thin breech /riiA IociUm runne," p. 191 ) 
aadin Jit)^e^tEagUihPilianuitiitntraltimajiTiittQdialh 
(y Hh prinUri, &c., 1632, "The Deulli focifnian Ma* very 
nimble of his heelea, Eor u wild Iriih-man cvuU oulnauu Itim," 


men many of them, and as active as the clouds, — 
whirr, hah ! 

LoD. And fllout, exceeding atout ; why, I war- 
rant thifl precious wild Tillain, if he were put to't, 
wotild fight more desperately than sixteen Dun- 

AsT. The women, they say, are very fair. - 

liOD. No, no; our country bona<robas,' O, are 
the sugarest delicious repeal 

AsT. O look, he has a feeling of tliem ! 

LoD. Not I, 1 protest : there's a saying when 
diey commend nations ; it goes, the Irishman for 
his hand, [the] Welshman for a leg, the Englishman 
for a face, the Dutchman for [a] beard. 

FoN. I'faith, they may make swabbers' of them. 

LoD. The Spaniard — let me see — for a Itttle 
foot, I take it ; the Frenchman, — what a pox hath 
he 7 and so of the rest. Are they at brealdast yet! 
come, walk. 

AsT. This Lodovico is a notable-tongued fellow. 

FoN. Discourses well. 

Beb. And a eery honest gentleman. 

AsT. O, he's well valued by my lord. 

Enter Bellafroht with a petition. 
PoH. How now, how now, what's she 7 
Ber. Let's make towards her. 
Bel. Will it be long, sir, ere my lord come forth f 

-i„ . i I. .^.ifan (see rote on -* Fair Quarrel, act iy. sc 4) 
footmen used to carry "darts" in their h«uds. 
i. e. privateen of Dunkirk. So Shirley,— 

»<■■ .. c. .- =;■ by Cuntir*!,"— Wor*., vol iL p. 428. 

I bmta-rabai^ See note, ToL i, p, 2S8. 

1 twabbtri'] I.e. sneepers. 


Act. Woald jon tpemk with mj lord t 

LoD. How DOW, wba^i thisT a nnm*! billt 
haA nj ima got thee with child, and now iriB 
uat keep itt 

Bsu No, nx, mjr-hnnncM ii onto nij lord. 

Los. Hi^i about hii own wife['a1 now; hell 
kitdly deipatdi two cansca in a morning. 

Aar. No matter what be aayi, &ir lady ; he'a a 
k^riit^ thera'a no boU to be taken at hii worda. 

fag. My kird will pan thia way preaently. 

Bn. A. pretty, plomp jogae. 

An. A good luatji bouncing baggage. 

Baa. Do you know her ? 

LoD. A pox on her, I wai sure her name waa in 
my table-book' once ; I know not of nhat cut her 
die ii now, but she has been more coninioQ than 
tobacco; this is she that had the name of the 
Honest Whore. 

Los. This is the blackamoor that by washing 
was tamed white ; thia is the hirding-piece new 
scoured ; this is she that, if any of her religion can 
be saved, was saved by my lord Hippolito. 

AsT. She has been a goodly creature. 

JjOD. She has been ! that's the epitaph of all 
whores, I'm well acquainted with the poor gen- 
tleman her husband ; lord, what fortunes that man 
ba* overreached ! She knows not me, yet I have 
been in her company ; I scarce know her, for the 
beauty of her cheek hath, like the moon, suffered 
atrange eclipses since I beheld it : but women are 
like medlars, no sooner ripe but rotten ; 

I Ml*-beek'] i. e. mcmonuidum-book. 


A woman last was made, but is spent first ; 
Yet man is oft prov'd in performance worst. 

„ ■ o [ My lord is come. 

Enter Hippolito, Infelice, and two Waitings 


Hip. We ha* wasted half this morning. — Morrow, 

LoD. Morrow, madam. 
Hip. Let's away to horse. 

AsT., <frc.}^y' ^y* *° ^°^^®' *^ ^°"®" 

Bel. I do beseech your lordship, let your eye 
Read o*er this wretched paper ! 

Hip. Tm in haste ; 
Pray thee, good woman, take some apter time. 

Inf. Good woman, do. 

Bel. O 'las, it does concern 
A poor man's life ! 

Hip. Life, sweetheart? — Seat yourself; 
ril but read this and come. 

LoD. What stockings have you put on this morn- 
ing, madam ? if they be not yellow,^ change them ; 
that paper is a letter from some wench to your 

Inf. O sir, that cannot make me jealous. 

[Exeunt all except Hippolito, Bellafront, 
and Antonio. 

Hip. Your business, sir ? to me ? 

•* if they be not yellow^ &c.] Lodovico means — it is time for 
you to be jealous : " Since Citizens wiucs fitted their husbands 
with yellow hose, is not within the memory of man." Dekker's 
Owles Jlmanacke, 1618, p. 7. The word *' yellows'* was fre- 
quently used for jealousy. 

Am. Tm, mf good knd. 
Hir. FiMMidj, air.— Are yon Blatheo'a wi& t 
Bsu HhU awM mfifftoDMc mnun. 
niVi I MB tony 

u an ftUcD on him ; I lore Mthws 
fi ahill do him ; be "*^ I 
[ two bonda of friendchip, iriiieh we 
Ib mt, hommt Ibrtute doei him wrong. 
He apeaka here he's oondenu'd : ia't aot 
Bu. Tootme. 

Hip. What waa he whom he kifl'd f O, hia name'* 
OU Qiaeomo, icmtothe Florentiiu; 
Giacomo, a dog, that, to meet profit, 
Would to the very eyelids wade in blood 
Of hia own children. Tell Matheo, 
The duke my father hardly shall deny 
Hia signed pardon ; it waa fair fight, yes. 
If Tumour'a tongue go true ; so writes he here. 
To-morron morning I return from court ; 
Pray be you here then. -;- I'll have done, sir. 

But in troth aay, are you Matheo'a wife f 
You have forgot me. 

Bel. No, my lord. 

Hip. Your turner, 
That made you smooth to run an even bias ; 
You know I lov'd you when your very soul 
Waa full of discord : art not a good wSnch still ? 

Bel. Umh, — when I had lost my way to heaven, 
you shew'd it; ' 

I was new bom that day. 

Re-enUr Lodotico. 
IiOD. 'Sfoot, my lord, your lady asks if you have 


not left your wench yet? when you get in once, 
you never have done. Come, come, come, pay 
your old score, and send her packing ; come. 

Hip. Ride softly on hefore, Fll overtake you. 

LoD. Your lady swears she'll have no riding on 
before without ye. 

Hip. Prithee, good Lodovico 

LoD. My lord, pray hasten. 

Hip. I come. — \^Exit Lodovico. 

To-morrow let me see you; fare you well ; 
Commend me to Matheo. Pray, one word more ; 
Does not your father live about the court ? 

Bel. I think he does ; but such rude spots of 
Stick on my cheek, that he scarce knows my name. 

Hip. Orlando Friscobaldo is't not ? 

Bel. Yes, my lord. 

Hip. What does he for you ? 

Bel. All he should : when children 
From duty start, parents from love may swerve : 
He nothing does, for nothing I deserve. 

Hip. Shall I join him unto you, and restore you 
To wonted grace ? 

Bel. It is impossible. 

Hip. It shall be put to trial : fare you well. 

[^Exit Bellafront. 
The face I would not look on !^ sure then 'twas rare. 
When, in despite of grief, 'tis still thus fair. — 
Now, sir, your business with me. 

An. I am bold 
T' express my love and duty to your lordship 
In these few leaves. 

Hip. a book ? 

An. Yes, my good lord. 

' The face I would not look on] See p. 54. 

nn ammfi vhou. 1S7 

Ba. An jOBftMbolirf 

Ak. Tm* b7 lord, k poor oiw^ 

Hip. Sir, job hooonr nw ; 
Xi^ m^f M tekilart' mOtoih : but, fiuth, tdl ne 
To BDW BH^ httdr bendn bath this bird flown t 
Hour BBnj pntnori iliare with ms t 

Aa. Not one, 
H trodi, not one : yoor uaiui I held inoro dear ; 
Tm mat, way U»d, of tbst low cbaruter. 

Hip. Yonr name, I pmj T 

Am. Aotonio Geo^o. 

Hit. OfMOan? 

An. Yea, my lord. 

Hip. I'll borrow leave 
To read you o'er, and then we'll talk : till then 
Drink np this gold, good wits should love good 
wine ; [Gicei money. 

This of your lovea, the earnest that of mine. — 

Re-enter Bbyak. 
How now, sir, where's your lady ? not gone yet ? 

Bkt> I fart di lady is run away from dee a 
mighty deal of ground ; she sent me back for dine 
own sweet face ; I pray dee come, my lord, away ; 
wu't tow go now 1 

Hip. Is the coach gone 1 saddle my horse, the 

Bar. A pox a' de horse's nose ! he is a lousy 
rascally fellow : when I came to gird his belly, his 
■curvy guts rumbled, di horse farted in my face, 
and dow knowest an Irishman cannot abide a fart : 
but I have saddled de hobby-horse ; di fine hobby 
is ready ; 1 pray dee, my good sweet lord, wi't cow 
go now, and I will run to de devil before dee ? 

Hip. Well, sir.— I pray let's see you, master 
■cholar. [_E»il Antonio. 

c sEcosn TAET or 

Bby. Come, I pray dee ; wu'i co 


An Apartment in the Duke's Palace. 

Enter Lonovico, Caroi-o, Astolfo, and Beraloc 

LoD. Godao, gentlemen, what do 


AsT. What? 


LoD. Are not we all enjoined as this day — 
Thursday, is't not ! — ay, as that day to be at the 
linen-draper's house at dinner? 

Car. Signot Candido, the patient man, 

Abt, Afore Jove, true ; upon thiB day he's 

Beh. I wonder, thai being so stung with a wasp 
before, he dares venture again to come about the 
eaves amongst bees. 

LoD. O, 'tia rare sucking a sweet honeycomb ! 
Pray Iieaven his old wife be buried deep enough, 
that she rise not up to call for her dance ! the poor 
fiddlers' instruments would crack for it : she'd 
tickle them. At any hand, let's fry what mettle is 
in his new bride: if there be none, we'll put in 
some. Troth, it's a very noble citizen ; I pity he 
should marry again : I'll walk along, for it is a 
good old fellow. 

Car. I warrant the wives of Milan woidd give 
any fellow twenty thousand ducats that could but 
have tlie face to beg of the duke, that all the 
citizens in Milan niighi be bound lo the peace of 
patience, us the linen-draper is. 

LoD. O, fie upon*! ! 'twould imdo all ub that ore 



comtiers ; we should have no ho°^ with the wenches 

Enter Hippolit<>. 
AsT. [My lord's come. 

Hip. How now, what news ? 


AsT. [None. 


LoD. Your lady is with the duke her father. 
Hip. And we'll to them both presently. — 

Enter Orlando Friscobaldo. 

Who's that ? 


Hip. Friscobaldo ? O, pray call him, and leave 
me ; we two have business. 

Car. Ho, signor ! signor Friscobaldo ! the lord 

lExeunt all except Hippolito and Friscobaldo. 

Or. My noble lord, my lord Hippolito ! the 
duke's son ! his brave daughter's brave husband ! 
how does your honoured lordship ? does your no- 
bility remember so poor a gentleman as signor 
Orlando Friscobaldo, old mad Orlando ? 

Hip. O sir," our friends, they ought to be unto 
us as our jewels, as dearly valued being locked up 
and unseen, as when we wear them in our hands. 
I see, Friscobaldo, age hath not command of your 

AsT. r Signor Friscobaldo. 


kav€ no hoi ^^^ note, p. 106. 
^ O *ir, &c.] This speech seems to have been intended for 
verse, and is most probably corrupted. 


bloo<I ; for all Time's sickle has gone over you^ 
you are Orlando still. 

Or. Why, my lord, are not the fields mown and 
cut down and siript bare, and yet near they not 
pied coats again ? though my head be like a leek, 
white, may not my heart be like the blade, green f 

Hip. Scarce can I read the stories on your brow 
Which age hath writ there ; you look youthful stil). 

Or. I eat snakes," tny lord, I eat snakes : my 
heart shall never have a wrinkle u it, so long as I 
can cry hem with a clear voice. 

Hip. You arc the happier man, sir. 

Or, Happy man ? I'll give you, my lord, the 
true picture of a happy man : 1 was turning leaves 
over this morning, and found it; an excellent 
Italian painter drew it ; if I have it in the right 
colours, I'll bestow it on your lordship. 

Hip. I stay for it. 

Or. He thatP makes gold his wife, but not his 
whore, ^g 

He that at noon-day walks by a prison-door, ^H 
He that i' tti' sun is neither beam nor mote, ^^M 
He that's not mod after a petticoat, ^^M 

He for whom poor men's curses dig no grave, 
He that is neither lord's nor lawyer's slave, 
He that makes this his sea and that his shore, 
He that in's coffin is richer than before, 
He that counts youth his sword and age his staff, 
He whose right hand carves his own epitaph, 
He that upon his dealh-bed is a swan, 
And dead no crow, — he is a happy man. 

• Ml nakei] A »uppfl»ed roceipl for restoring joulh. 

P He that, Se.] ■■ The turn oftliis is tliB same vrith Isgo'i 
d«filutioa of a deserring woman : ' She thtit was ever fair, 
and never proud," &c. The mailer is superior." Lamb, 
Sptc. afEngU Dram. Potti, p. 63. 



Hn. It*i nrj mil.: I thuk too for Haa pietnra. 
Ob. AJEkar tmi pctnn, my lord, do I itrire to 
km m Ace drswn x tot J ma not coretoui, am 
aat in dm ; rit neitlwr at Ab duke's tide, nor lie 
4llHfttC; ■■Miliiiiit mdlhsn done; no inttil 
•nag, BO maa I Au, no mui I fto ; I tike heed 
'^mrmi I mlk, becniM I know jaaiei'M my home ; 
I wadd not dia like n rich man, to carrr nothing 
lyw » winding ■■!> «« , bat lika agooamant to 
Imt* Orlando behmd mo ; I lowed bavoi in ro^ 
wrfb, and I reap now booka in my age j I fill duo 
Vrnd, and emp^ thii ; and when ue bell shall toll 
tat no, if I prove a airan, and go ainging to mj 
■at, why, so I if a crow, throw me out for carrion, 
lad pick out mine eyei, May not old Friscobaldo, 
nj ford, be merry now, ha ? 
Hip. You may : would I were partner in your 

Os. I have a little, have all things ; I have no- 
ting, I have no wife, I have no child, have no 
diick; and why should not I be in my jocundare? 

HiF. Is your wife then departed ? 

Ot. She's an old dweller in those high countries, 
TH Dot from me — here, she's here — hut before me : 
Hn s knave and a quean are married, they com- 
■salv walk like sei^ants together, but a good 
Nople are seldom parted. 

Hit. You had a daughter too, sir, had yon 

Ot. O my lord, this old tree had one branch, 
'"A but one branch, growing out of it ! it was 
lonng, it was fair, it was straight ; I pruned it 
^3;, drest it carefully, kept it front die wind, 
*I)>cd it (o the sun ; yet for all my skill in plant- 
"Bi it grew crooked, it bore crabs ; I hewed it 

down ; what's become of it, I neither kno* 

Hip. Then can 1 tell you what's become of in 
That branch in wither'd. 

Oe. So 'twas long ago. -r-^— 

Hip. Her name, I think, was Bellafront: ane'a 

Or. Ha! dead? 

Hip. Yes; what of her was left, not wotth the 
Even in my sight was thrown into a grave. 

Ok. Dead? my last and best peace go with her ! 
1 see Death's a good trencherman ; he can eat 
coarse homely meat, as well as the daintiest. 

Hip. Why, Friscobaldo, was she homely ! 

Or. O my lord, a strumpet is one of the devil's 
vines ! all the sins, like ao many poles, are stuck 
upright out of hell to be her props, that she may 
spread upon them ; and when she's ripe, every slave 
has a pull at her ; then must she be presi : the 
young beautiful grape seta the teeth of lust « 
edge ; yet to caste that liquorish wine is to drink b 
man's own damnation. Is she dead T 

Hip. She's turn'd i< 

. Would 
she dead ? I 
idols : no who 
doors. In he 
own, and all n _ 

Hip. I'm glad you're wax, 

Of man's best temper ; thert 

That all thosei heaps of ice about your hei 

turned to heaven ! umh, i 

id the world has lost one of his 

ger will at midnight beat at the 

e sleep all my shame and her 

id all her sins ! 

marble ; you are 

1 i*M»] Olded. "Uieie." 

By wUA ■ blbei^i Iotb wm fioiai an, 

Arc Umr'd m time sweet ■howen tetat'd. ftom joor 

Wrfra ne'er like ogde till «ar peaion ctiee. 

She ii not dwd, bnt Uth under wone fkte ; 

I tlmk ahe's poor ; end, mon to eUp ber wingi, 

Hct bubaod at this honr lies in the jul 

For killing of a mui. To tave hit blood, 

]•■ eD yoer fcrce witk mine; mine tbell be Bbewn : 

Tke gettisg of hii lift preeerrei yonr own. 

Oi. In nj denghter, jroa will uy : doea ibe live 
Awl Inm ■orry I wutedtevsnponB harlot; bat 
Ae beat ia, I heve ■ handkercher to drink them up ; 
Map can wash them all out again. Is she poor t 
Hip. Trast tne, I think she is. 
Ob. Then she's a right strumpet : I ne'ei knew 
soy of their trade rich two years together ; sieves 
on bold no water, nor harlots hoard up money ; 
iheyhaTe [too] many vents, too many sluices to let 
>t out ; taverns, tailors, bawds, panders, fiddlers, 
■waggerers, fools, and knaves, do all wait upon a 
common harlot's trencher ; she ia the gallipot to 
■liich these drones fly, not for love to the pot, but 
fci the sweet sucket' within it, her money, her 

Hip. I almost dare pawn my word, her hosom 
Oirrs warmth to no such snakes. When did you 
see her T 
Os. Not seventeen summers. 
Hip. Is your hate so old? 
Oi, Older ; it has a while head, and shall never 
die till she be buried : her wroniTB shall he my bed- 
Hip. Work yet his life, since in it lives her fame. 


Or. No, let him hang, and half her infamy de- 
parts out of the world. I hate him for her ; he 
taught her first to taste poison : I hate her for her- 
self, hecause she refused my physic. 

Hip. Nay, but, Friscobaldo 

Or. I detest her, I defy' both : she's not mine^ 

Hip. Hear her but speak. 

Or. I love no mermaids ; 111 not be caught with 
a quail-pipe.^ 

Hip. You're now beyond all reason. 

Or. I am then a beast. Sir, I had rather be a 
beast, and not dishonour my creation, than be a 
doting father, and, like Time, be the destruction 
of mine own brood. 

Hip. Is*t dotage to relieve your child, being 

Or. Is't (it for an old man to keep a whore ? 

Hip. 'Tis charity too. 

Or. 'Tis foolery : relieve her ? 
Were her cold limbs stretch'd out upon a bier, 
I would not sell this dirt under my nails 
To buy her an hour's breath ; nor give this hair^ 
Unless it were to choke her. 

Hip. Fare you well, for I'll trouble you no 

Or. And fare you well, sir. [^Exit Hippolito.]-^- 
Go thy ways ; we have few lords of thy making, 
that love wenches for their honesty. 'Las, my girJ, 
art thou poor ? poverty dwells next door to despair, 
there's but a wall between them ; despair is one of 
hell's catchpolls ; and lest that devil arrest her, I'll 
to her, yet she shall not know me ; she shall drink 

■ defy"} i. e. renounce. 

^ quail-pipe} Used by fowlers to allure quails. 

9twij «m1& m baggin do of nmniiig walor, froely, 
vat iMW know bom whit fotmtaiii'a Iwad it flom. 
flUl' ■ bDj bbd pick her om bnut to noninh 
bar yoBBff '»■■• ■»d od a fttber mo hit child ■ 
anrtat tSat wen haid: the pelican" doet it, and 
■kaU net IT jraa, I win nctaal Aa camp fer her, 
kwt it shall be br bobm atzatagen. Tnat knave 
aKakerhndMniidwiabehMwed,Iftar: rUkoep 
In amA oat of the nooae if I can,, he ehall not 

How now, knaveif wbitber wander yout 

FiuT SxK. To seek your worship. 

Ok. Stay ; which of you haa my purse ? what 
money have you about you ? 

Sec. Ser. Some fifteen or sixteen pounds, sir. 

Ok. Give it me [takei purte] ; I think I bave 
aome gold about me; yes, it's well. Leave my 
lodgiog at court, and get you home. Come, sir, 
tboDgb I never turned any man out of doors, yet 
111 be so bold a> to pull your coat over your ears. 

FlUT Sxs. What do you mean to do, sir ? 

[Orlando puti on the coal of Ftrtt Serving- 
man, taui gives him in exchange kit cloak. 

Ok. Hold thy tongue, knave : taJie thou rqy 
dosk ; I hope I play not the paltry merchant fti 
this bartering. Bid the steward of my house sleep 
with open eyes in tny absence, and to look to all 
things : whsUoever 1. command by letters to be 
dooe by you, see it done. So, does it sit well ? 

Skc. Skk. As if it were made for your worship. 

Ok. You proud varlets, you need not he ashamed 

■ Ikipilieaii itu if] " The joung peli 
ita notiwT'* bliwd." Bbeo. 

licsn is fibled to luck 


to wear blue/ when your master is one of your 
fellows. Away ! do not see me. 

Both Ser. This is excellent. 

[^ExemU Serving^men* 

Or. I should put on a worse suit too ; perhaps 
I will. My vizard is on ; now to this masque. 
Say I should shave off this honour of an old man, 
or tie it up shorter ; well, I will spoil a good face 
for once : my beard being off, how should I look ? 
even like 

A winter cuckoo, or unfeather'd owl ; 
Yet better lose this hair than lose her soul. {^Exii. 


A Room in Candido*s House : Candido, the Brides 
and Guests^ discovered at dinner ; Prentices wtut" 
mg on them. 

Enter Lodovico, Carolo, and Astolfo.^ 

Can. O gentlemen, so late? you're very wel- 
come : 
Pray, sit down. 

LoD. Carolo, didst e'er see such a nest of caps ?' 

Ast. Methinks it's a most civil and most comely 

LoD. What does he i' th' middle look like ? 

Ast. Troth, like a spire-steeple in a country 
village over-peering so many thatched houses. 

" to wear hlue"] " The habit of servants at the time." Reed. 

^ Lodovico, Carolot and Atto\fo] Ou^ht not Beraldo to be of 
the party (see p. 138)7 but his name is not prefixed to any of 
the speeches in this scene. 

^ caps] See note, p. 58. 


LoD. It's raiber a long pike-stalTagainal so many 
bucklers wiiliouc pikes:' they sit Tor all tlie world 
Kke a pair of organs,' and he's the tall great roar- 
iogpipe i' th' midsU 

AsT. Ha, ha, ha, ha ! 

Car. What's that you laugh at, aignors ? 

LoD. Troth, shall I lell you, and aloud I'll tell it; 
We laugh to see, yet laugh we not in acorti. 
Amongst so nuoy caps that long hat worn. 

First Gdest.* Mine h as tall a felt'' as any is this 
, day in Milan, and therefore I love it, for the bloclt° 
was cleft out for my head, and lits me to a hair. 

Cax. Iiuteed, joa'n good obwrven ; it ahem 
Bat, gmtlemeoi I pra; neither contemn 
Nor yet deride a civil oraameat ; 
I GOtud build io much in the round cap's praise. 
That 'boTe" thia high roof I diis flat would raise. 

LoD. Prithee, sweet bridegroom, do't, 

Can. So all these guests will pardon me, I'll do't. 

GiiEtia. With all our hearts. 

Cak. Thus, then, in the cap's honour. 
To every tex and state both nature, time, 
The country's laws, yea, and the very clime. 
Do allot distinct habits : the spruce courtier 
Jets* up and down in silk ; the warrior 
Marches in buff; the clown plods on in gray : 
But for these upper garments thus I say ; 

_' iiKklm wiUmU fUtei} " The ancient bitckleri had a pTOr 
miiwilt ipUt, anil sometimes a pitlol in the ceatte of them." 

' fir rfergmi] i. e. an oi^d : compare vol, iL p. 346, and 

• Fbtl Oatl'] Old ed. " Lod." ^ fiU^ i. c hat. 

• iltdt} L e. mould : see now, p. 107. 

' 'kw] 01drd."lDue"— ■ndiobDodsler'iOUPfay*/ 

• /tftj L e. itruti. 

The seaman has his cap, par'd withoul brim ; 
The gallant's head is feather'd, that fits him ; 
The soldier lias his murrion ;' women ha' tires ; 
Beasts have their head-pieces, and men ha' theirs. 

Iion, Proceed. 

Can. Each degree has his fashion ; it's fit then 
One should be laid by for the citizen, 
And that's the cap which you see swells not high. 
For caps are emblems of humility. 
It is a citizen's badge, and 6r8t was worn 
By th' Romans; for when any bondman's turn* 
Came to be made a freeman, thus 'twas said, 
He to the cap was call'd, that is, was made 
Of Rome a freeman, but was first close shorn ; 
And so a citizen's hair is still short worn. 

LoD. That close shaving made barbers a 
pany, and now every citixen uses it. 

Can. Of geometric figures the moat rare 
And perfect'st are the circle and the square : 
The city and the school much build upon 
These figures, for both love proportion. 
The city-cap is round, the scholar's square, 
To shew that government and learning are 
The perfect'st limbs i' th' body of a state ; 
For without them all's disproportionate. 
If the cap had no honour, ihis might rear it. 
The reverend fathers of the law do wear it. 
It's light for summer, and in cold it sits 
Close to the skull, a warm house for the wits | fl 
It shews the whole face boldly, 'lis not made 
As if a man to look out" were afraid ; 

' murrieri] " A h«Bil-piecp, or cap of steel." Rbed. 

t far whiH fmy AomJmnn'i (urn, &c.J Mere Reed has a ttarnri 
note on " ibe ceremony of niuiuniUBioD," (from Ketitif I's Aa- 
man Ailla.), which I ibink it unneceiaary la reprinL 

*«(] 01ded."on'L" 



Kor like a draper's shop with broad dark al 
For he's no citizen that hides hia head. 
Flat caps as proper are to city-ganns, 
As to armours helmets, or lo kings their a 
I#et then the city-cap by none be scom'd, 
< Since nith it princes' heads have been ad<mi'da 
I If more the round cap's honour you woufl know, 
' Hotv noidd this long gown with this ste epla^ ibaw F 
All. Ha, ha, hal most vile, most ugly^ 


_■ fi>r Um bride. 

Cam, Yoa W wA tat out d» exp, sir. 
Lob. NaT, dtat'i flat. 
Cam.' a health I 

LoD. Since hia cap's round, that shall go round. 
Be bare, 
For in the cap'a praise all of you have share. 

[7%^ imcover their headi, and drmk. A» Firtt 
rrentiee offeri the mine to the Bride, she kitt 
< him m the lipt, and breahs the gltut. 
The bride's at cuffs I 

Cak. O, peace, I pray thee ; thus' far offl stand, 
I spied the error of my servants. 
She call'd for claret, and you fill'd out sack -, 
That cup give me, 'tis for an old man's back. 
And not for bera. Indeed, 'twas but mistaken ; 
Ask aD these elie. 

'• Mt itetpU] " Of nich bits P. Stubbei apealu in his «e)e- 
btated WDi^ the Amatnat ef Abam, 16fi£. > Sometime* tbey 
twe them ihup en the croune, pearkiog up like the ipere 91 
ibift of a ilaeple, itandiiig a quarter of a. ysrde above the' 
CTOwiM of their headi, lome more, some leu, ai pleue the 
phanf lies of their uocon*tant miodn.' " Heed. 

' "ilI Olded. "LoDg." Dodale; givei the esclsmation 


Aix> No, faith, 'iwu bm nistaken. 
First P. Nay, ihe took it right enongh. 
Cam, Good Luke, r*ath her that glass of claret. — 
Hne, mistress bride, pledge roe there. 

Bbide. Now I'll none. [ExU. 

8 wrone 


Loo, Look what your mistress »i)s. 

First P. Nothing, sir, but about filling it 
^as8, — a scurvy trick. 

Cam. I pray you, hold your tongue. — My si 
Tells me she is not well. 

Guests. 8tep to her, step to her. 

LoD. A word with you ; do ye hear ! this wench, 
your new wife, will take you down in your wed- 
ding-shoes, unless you hang her up in her wedding* 

Can. How ? hang her in her garters ? 

Lon. Will you be a tame pigeon still ? shall your 
back be like a tortoise-shell, to let carts go over 
it, yet not to break ? This she-cat will have tnore 
lives than your last puss had, and will scratch worse 
e you worse r look to't. 

Can. ^Vhat would you have me do, sir? 

LoD. \Vhat would I have you do ? swear, swagger, 
brawl, fling ; for fighting it's no matter, wc ha' had 
knocking pusses enow already : you know that 
a woman was made of the rib of a man, and that 
rib was crooked; the moral of which is, that a man 
must, from his beginning, be crooked to liis wife. 
Be you like an orange to her t let her cut you never 
so fair, be you sour as vinegar. Will you be ruled 
by me? 

Can. In any thing that's civil, honest, and just. 

LoD. Have jou ever a prentice's suit will fit me T 

Can. I have the very same which myself wore. 

LoDu m lend my man for*! witbin this hilf bonr, 
■nd wiAan thia two hovii 111 be 7001 pnntJM. Tha 
Imu ahall not otskxow the «ock ; IH iharpen yooi 

Cak. It will ba bnt lonie ieat> rir I 

LoD. Onh a jeat : ftrewJl— Come, Ctndo. 

[S xw m t LoDonco, Caeoio, owf Anoftnh 

Otnara. W^ take our leaTea, air, loo. 

Cur. Pn^t conceit not ill 
Of Bj wift'a audden riaing. Thia young knigbt, 
Kr Iiodoffieo^ ia deep aaen In i^yaic. 
And be tcDa me the diieaae cul'd the mother' 
Hanga on my wife ; it ia a Tehement heaving 
And beating of the Btomach, and that swelling 
Did with the pain thereof cramp up her arm, 
That hit hia llpa and brake the glass : no harm, 
It waa DO harm. 

GuK*TS. No, signor, none at all. 

Can. The straightest arrow may fly wide by 
But, come, we'll close this brawl up in lonie dance. 


ji Room tn Matueo'b Home. 

Enter Bellaprokt and Matheo, 

BzL. O my sweet husband! wert thou in thy 


And art alive again ? O welcome, welcome ! 

Mat. Dost know me? my cloak, prithee, lay't 
np. Yes, faith, my winding-sheet was taken out of 
lavender, to be stuck with rosemary :'' I lacked but 

i at molkfT} Btt note, p. 41. 

* fMMorjr] Used u ftuienU : te« note, vol. i. p, 2S1. 

the knot here or here ; yet, if I had had it, I should 
ba' made a wry inouth at the norld like a plaice.' 
But, sweetest villain, I am here novr, and I will talk 
with thee soon. 

Bel, And glad am I thou'rt here. 

Mat. Did these heels caper in shackles ? Ah, my 
little plump rogue, I'll bear up for all tliis, and fly 
high ! catso, catso ! °' 

Bel. Mathco 

Mat. What asyst, what saysi ? O brave fresh 
air ! a poK on these grales, and gingling of keys, 
and rattling of iron I I'll beat up, I'll fly high, 
wench, hang toss ! 

Bkl. Matheo, prithee, make thy prison thy glass, 
And in it view the wrinkles and the scars 
By which thou wen disRgur'd ; viewing them, mend 


Mat. I'll go visit all the mad rogui 
the good roaring boy a." 

Bel. Thou dost not bear me. 

Mat. Yes, faith, do I. 

Bel. Thou hast been in the hands of misery. 
And ta'en strong physic ; prithee, now be sound. 

Mat. Yes. 'Sfuot, I wonder how the inside of a 
tavern looks now ; O, whi-n shall 1 bizle," biale! 

> uiy «DU(& . . . likta plaice] " So in NaBb'K LtHtn Stuff, 
1098 - ' None won the day in ihja bur the lierring, whom M 
thrir clamoroui suflrage* saluted with Vive le Boy, God save 
ibc King, God save the King, «tve only the playic and tbe 
bull, thtl ni«le WTff nautba at him, and for Iheir mucking have 
wry DUHifAi ever since.' " Reed. Tbe nry mouth oTtlie plaice 
WBi a favoimle alluiion nilh our old writers. 

o fflMi,] See note, vol. i. p. a»Q. 

' rom-ing 6dy(] See note on A Fair Qwirrei, act ii. BC 2, in 

" iiiie] " 

to any, Whe 

Or, u 

Bkl. Kay, aee, tbou'rt thirBty adll for poiuMl 
I will not have ihee swagger. 

Mat. Honest ape's face '. 

Bel. 'Tis that sharpen' (1 an axe to cot thy thrMt. 
Good love, I would not have tliee sell thy substam 
And time, wortli all, in tboae (lamn'd shops of hlUi 
Those dicii^-houses, that stand never well 
But when they stand most ill : that four-squar'd BB 
Has almost lodg'd us in the beggar's inn. 
Besides, to speak which even my soul does griet*! 
A son'' of ravens have hung upon thy sleeve. 
And fed upon thee :<■ good Mat, if you please, 
ScoflB to ncMd wi^ wioiigat ao bue ma theae ; 
Br ibem uy fiune is spwUed ; y«t it shews 
Qear amongst them, so erows are fair with crows. 
Coitom in sin gives sin t lovely dye ; 
BlarknpiB in Moors is no deformity. 

Mat. Bellafront, BelUfront, I protest to thee, I 
awear, as I hope [for] my soul, 1 will turn over a 
new leaf; the prison, I confess, has bit me ; the best 
man that sails in such a ship may be lousy. 

{_Ktuxking mlhin, 

Bel. One knocks at door. 

Hal. Ill be the porter : they shall see a jail 
cannot hold a brave spirit ; 111 fly high. [£zif. 

Bbl. How wild is bis behaviour ! O, I fear 
He'a spoil'd by prison I he's half damn'd comes 

Bat I most sit all storms : when a full sail 

' tri] i. t. let, coonway. 

« Jmdfod tgmi dm, Bcc] Old ed. 

■■ And fed opon tbM t gocMl Mat. (ifyoa please) so bate as 
SeoriM to spread wing amoagat thoe." 
Hk. Collier, in a note on the last ed. of Dodtley'* OU Playi, 


His fortttnes spread, he lov'tl me ; being now poor, 
11] beg for him, and no vrife can do more. 

Re-enUr Matbeo with Oblahso disgiutcd at a 

Hat- Come in, pray ; would you speak with me, 

Or. Is your name signor Maiheo ? 

Mat. My name is signor Maiheo. 

Or, Is this gentlewoman your wife, sir ? 

Mat. This gentlewoman is my wife, sir. 

Or. The Destinies spin a strong and even thread 
of both your loves ! — The mother's own face, I ha" 
not forgot that. [^*irfe.]— I'm an old man, sir, and 
am trotibled with a whoreson salt rheum, that I 
cannot hold my water- — Gentlewoman, the Isatn 
I served was your father. 

Bel. My father? any tongne that sotu 


Speaks music to me : welcome, good old man f '' 

How does my father 1 lives he ? has he health ! 

How does my father ? I so much do shame him, 

iim, tnat 1 
le last i^^ 

I manf ■■ 


ich do wound him, that I s 

s dare name 

On. I can speak no more. [_Atide, 

Mat. How now, old lad I what, dost cry ? 

Or, The rheum still, sir, nothing else ; I should 
be well seasoned, for mine eyes lie in brine. Look 
you, sir, I have a suit to you. 
• Mat. What is't, my tittle white-pate 7 

Ob. Troth, air, I have a mind to serve your 


Mmx. T« wrre ne t troth, ny fiiend, my fiw 

Ob> H^, look yoo, nr, I know, wbcn «U uih 
ne oil B M, and go npon crtudet, tlMt coTctoso- 
■M* doco bnt than lie in her cradle ; 'tii not to 
nbk BOk Lodmy lorn to dwd in the fiurat 
Mgii^ and coYctonuea in the oUeat boildinn 
Am m tMdy to fin : but nqr lAiu heed, nr, u 
■B im Ibr eadi • goeeip. If eicrnng-inaa atmy 
jcBB bo Dot etond with bieeoit anoegh, diet hee 
■Bid ebeat the wtwU, to nrre him the Toyege 
eat ef lu> Uih, end to bring him eut-bome, ill 
|etj bnt all his dayi abonld be ftating dB}ra, I care 
■ot ao ranch fitr wage*, for I liave scraped a hand- 
fiiD of gold leather ; I have a littie monev, air, 
whidi I would ptit into your worship's bands, not 
so much to make it more 

Mat. No, no, you say well, thou sayst well ; but I 
mitst tel) you — how much is the money, sayst thout 

Or. About twenty pound, air. 

Mat. Twenty pound ? let me see, that shall bring 
thee in, after ten per centum per annum 

Ok. No, no, no, sir, no, I cannot abide to have 
money engender ; fie upon this silver lechery, fie ! 
if I may have meat to my mouth, and rags to my 
beck, and e flock-hed to snort upon, when I die the 
longer liver take all. 

Mat. a good old boy, I'faith ! If thou servest 
me, thou shalt eat as I eat, drink as I drink, lie as 
I lie, and ride as I ride. 

Oa- That's if you have money to hire horses. 


Mai. Front, what doit thou think on'tf this 
good old lad here shall serve me. 

Bel. Alas, Matheo, wilt thou load a back 
That is already broke I 


Mat. Peace, pox oo jron, peM« < diere'a ■ inch 
ia't ; I fly high ; it aball be *o, Front, u I t«ll you. 
— Give me tfav haod, thou ihali serre me, i'faith ; 
irekoDK : ai for yoar nxHwy 

Oft. Nay, look yon, sir, I hare it here. 

Mat. Piali, keep it thyself, nun, and ibea ibov'rt 

Ok. Safe? and' 'ttrere ten ibouaand ducats, your 
worihip Bhould be my casb-keeper ; I bave beard 
what your worsbip is, an excellent dunghill cock 
to scatter all abroad ; but I1J venture twenij pounds 
on'i head. {^Givet monry to Matheo. 

Mat. And didst ibou gene my worsbipful 
father- in- law, signor Orlando Friscobaldo, that 
madman, once 1 

Or. I served him bo long till he turned me oat 
of doors. 

Mat. It's a notable cbuff: I ha' not seen him 
many a day. 

Ok. No matter and you ne'er see him : it's an 
arrant grandee, a cbiirl, and aa damned a cut- 

Bel. Thou villain, curb thy tongue! thou art a 
To sell thy master's name to slander thus. 

Mat. Away, ass! he speaks but truth; thy 
father is a 

Bel. Gentleman. 

Mat. And an old knave ; there's more deceit in 
him than in sixteen pothecaries : it's a devil ; thou 
mayest beg, starve, hang, danm ; does he send thee 
■o much as a cheese ? 

Oit. Or so much as a gammon of bacon 
(five it his dogs first. 


Mai. a jail,' a jail ! 

Ob. AJew. a Jew, sir! 

Mat. a dog ! 

Or. An English ma <ir! 

Mat. Pox rot out h mu stinking gar' 

Bel. Arc not ashai 1 to strike an al 
Art not Bsham'd to let this vild' dog bark. 
And bite my father thus? I'll not endure ii. — 
' Out of my doors, base slave ! 

Mat. Your doors ? a vengeance ! 1 shall live to 
cut that old rogue's throat, for ail you take his part 

Oa. He shall live to see ihee hanged lirst. 

Enter Hippolito. 

Mat. God's-so, my lord, your lordship is most 
welcome ! 
I'm proud of this, my lord. 

Hip. Waa bold to see you. 
Ii that your wife ? 

Mat. Yes, sir. 

Hip. 111 borrow her lip. [JOitej Bellafront. 

Mat. With all my heart, my lord. 

Oa. Who's this, I pray, sir ? 

Mat. My lord Hippolito. What's thy aame 7 

Oa. Pacheco. 

Mat. Pacheco ? fine name : thou seest, Pacheco, 
I keep company with no scoundrels nor base fel< 

Hip. Came not my footman to you ? 

■joH] Old ed. " Jayle,"— Qy. "jivelt" i. e. northleii 


. Bel. Ye8, my lord. 

Hip. I sent by him a diamond and a letiet; 
Did you receive them ? 

Bel. Ye8, my lord, I did. 

Hir. Read you the letter? 

Bel. O'er and o'er 'tis read. 

Hip. And, faith, your anawer ? 

Brl, Now the time's not fit ; 
You see my husband's here. 

Hip. I'll now then leave you. 
And choose mine hour : but, ere I part anay. 
Hark you, remember I must have no nay. — 
Matheo, 1 nil! leave you. 

Mat- a glass of wine ? 

Hip. Not now; I'll visit you at other times. j| 
You're come off well, then ! 

Mat. Excellent well, I thaiUc your lordship.i 
awe you my life, my lord, and will pay 
blood in any service of yours. 

Hip. I'll take no such dear payment. Hark « 
Matheo i 
I know the prison is a gulf; if money 
Run low with you, my purse is yours, call for it. '' 

Mat. Faith, my lord, I thank my stars they 
aend me down some ; I cannot aiak so long as 
these bladders hold. 

Hip. 1 will not see your fortunes ebb ; pray, IfJ 
To starve in full bams were fond' modesty. 

Mat. Open the door, sirrah. 

Hip. Drink this; 
And anon, I pray thee, give thy mistress this. 
[^Gices to Friscobaldo, who opens the d 
first motietf, then a purse, and exit. 


. rooliah. 


Ok. O noble Bpirit! if no worie gue«U here 
My blue coat* sita on my old ahouldert ncll. 

Mat. The only royal fellow ! lie's bounteous m 
the Indies. What's that he said to thee. BelU&om ? 

Bel. Nothing. 

Mat. I prithee, good girl ■ ■ - 

Bkl. Why, I tell you, nothing. 

Mat. Nothing? it's ivell: tricks! that I must be 
beholden to a scald, hot-tivered, goatish gallani, to 
nond with my cap in my hand and Tail bonnet, 
when I ha' spread as lofly sails as himself! would 
I had been hanged ! nothing ? — Pacheco, brush my 

Ol Where is't, ml 

Mat. Come," we'll fly hi^. 
Notbing f there is ■ whore still in thine eye- [Exit. 

Ob. My twenty pounds fly' high. O wretched 
woman I 
This Tsrlet't able to mske Lncrece common. [Ande. 
How now, mistress I baa my master dyed you into 
this tad colour 7 

Bbi.. Fellow, b^one, I pray thee ; if thy tongue 
Itch ailer talk so much, seek out thy master, 
noa'it a flt instrument for him. 

Ok. Zounds, I hope be will not play upon me ! 

Bbl. Play on tfaee 1 no, you two will fly together. 
Because you're roving arrows of one feather. 
Would thou wouldit leave my house, thou ne'er 

shalt please me 1 
Weave thy nets* ne'er so high. 
Thou shalt be but a spider in mine eye. 

' Mmteaat] See note, p. 146. 

■ Comt, See.] Ad iroperTect couplet i lee oote, p. 52, 

' fy] Old ed. " flyei." 

* Wttat tiji wtb] Anoiher imperfect couplcL 

160 nw SBonB tamt or 

Thoa'rt rank with poMoa : poiioM tcmpcr'd wefl 
Is food far beahh, hmi di j bbck toagse doch swefl 
With TenofD to hurt him that gare diee hread : 
To wrong men abfcnt is to spam the dead ; 
And so did*st thoa dij master and my fiuher. 

Oe. You hare small reason to take his part, for 
I hare beard him saj fire himdred times yon were 
as arrant a whore as erer stjflened tifl&ny neck- 
cloths in water-starch upon a Saturday i' ^* after- 

Bel. Let him say worse : when, for the earth's 
Hot vengeance through the marble clouds is driven, 
Is*t fit earth shoot again those darts at heaven ? 

Or. And so if your father call you whore, you'll 
not call him old knave. — Friscobaldo, she carries 
thy mind up and down; she's thine own flesh, 
blood, and bone. [^Ande.'] — Troth, mistress, to tell 
you true, the fireworks that ran firom me upon lines 
against my good old master your father were but 
to try how my young master your husband loved 
such squibs : but it*s well known I love your father 
as myself: Til ride for him at midnight, run for 
you by owl-liglit ; I'll die for him, drudge for you ; 
rU fly low, and Til fly high, as my master says, to 
do you good, if you'll forgive me. 

Bel. I am not made of marble ; I forgive thee. 

Or. Nay, if you were made of marble, a good 
Htone-cutter might cut you. I hope the twenty 
pound I delivered to my master is in a sure hand. 

Bel, In a sure band, I warrant thee, for spend- 

Or. I see my young master is a madcap and a 
bonus socius, I love him well, mistress ; yet as well 
as I love him, I'll not play the knave with you : 
look you, I could cheat you of this purse full of 


I money ; but I am an old lad, and 1 scorn lo cony> 
! catch,* yet I ha' been dog at a cony in my time. 

[Gice* JIUTK, 

Bel. a purse? where hadst it? 
Ob> The gentleman that went away whispered in 
, vine ear, and charged me lo give ii you, 
Bel. The lord Hippohto 7 
Ob. Yes, if he be a lord, he gave h me. 
Bel. Tis all gold. 

Or. 'Tis like so : it may be he thinks you want 
money, and therefore bestows bis alms bravely, like 

Bel. He thinks a silver net can catch t!ie poor ; 
Hsn'i bait to choke « nun, and turn her irtiore. 
WOt tbon be honeat to me ? 

Or. Ab your nails to your fingers, which I think 
never deceived you. 

Bkl. Thou to this lord shall go ; commend me 
to him, 
And tell him this : the town has held out long, 
Because within 'twas rather true than strong ; 
To sell it now were base : aay, 'tis no hold 
Built of weak stuff, to be blown up with gold. 
He ihall believe thee by this token, or this ; 
If not, by this. [Q'wmg purie, ring, atid Utter*. 

Ob. Is this all? 

Bbl. This is all. 

Ok. Mine own girl still I \_Ande. 

Bel. a star may shoot, not fall. {_Exit. 

Ok. a star ? nay, thou art more than the moon, 
for tbou hast neither changing quarters, nor a man 
standing in thy circle with a bush of thorns. Is't 
poMibie the lord Hippolito, whose face is as civil 
as the outside of a dedicatory book, should be a 

" ewiy-tote*] See now, p. 16. 



muttonmonger ?' A poor man has but one ene, 
and this grandee slieep-biier leaves whole flocks of 
fat wethers, nhom he may knock down, to devour 
this. I'll trust neither lord nor butcher with quick 
fleah for this trick ; the cuckoo, I see now, sings 
sil the year, though every man caimol hear him ; 
but I'll spoil his notes. Can neither love-letters, 
nor the dcvil'f common pick-locks, gold, nor pre- 
cious stones, make my girl draw up her percullis ?' 
Hold out Btill, wench ! 

All are not bawds, I see now, that keep doors, 
Nor all good wenches that are mark'd for whores. 

Before Candido's 
Enter Camdido, and Lonovic 

< diigttited Mm 

LoD. Come, come, come, what do ye lsck| 
what do ye lack, sir t what is't ye lack, a 
not my worship well suited ? did you eve 
gentleman better disguised 1 

Can. Never, believe me, signor. 

Lon. Yes, but when he has been drunk.* 
be prentices would make mad gallants, for they 
ivould spend all, and drink, and whore, and so 
forth ; and I see we gallants could make mad pren- 
tices. How does thy wife like me 1 — nay, I must 
> saucy, then I spoil all — pray you, bow 

mistress like n 

* niiftaaiBiingfr] 1. 1. nharemon^ : Me note, p. 

' perealliil i. e. porlcullii. 

' Khal do y* lack] See Dole, p. St. 

■ dntak^ " i. e. diigaiud in h^uor." CoLLlEK. 


Cah. Well ; for she takes you for a very simple 

LoD. And they that are taken for sucb are coin- 
motilj the ananteat knaves : but to our comedy. 

Can. I shall not act it : chide, you say, and fret. 
And grow impatient ! I shall never do't. 

Lod. 'Sblood, cannot you do as all the world 
doei, counterfeit ? 

Can. Were I a painter that should live by 
Kothiug but pictures of an angry man, 
I sbould not earn my colours : I cannot do't. 

loD. RePKmber you're a linen-draper, and that 
if ;ou give your wife a yard, she'll take an ell : 
give her not th^fore a quarter of your yard, not 

Cut, Say I should turn to ice, and nip her love 
Now 'Us but in the bud ?■• 

Lod. Well, say she's nipt. 

Cu, It will so overcharge' her heart with grief, 
mt, like a cannon, when her sighs* go off, 
"K m her duty either will recoil 
'^ break in pieces, and so die : her death 
Bjiny unkindness might be counted murder. 

Lod. Die ? never, never. I do not bid you beat 
'»', nor give her black eyes, nor pinch her sides ; 
°n cross her humours. Are not bakers' arms the 
•wlw of justice, yet is not their bread light t and 
"Xynot you, I pray, bridle her with a sharp bit, 
yet ride her gently 1 

Cut. WeU, I will try your pills : 
1^ you your faithful service, and be ready 


StiD at ■ pindi to belp me in this pvt. 
Or die I ihaU be out clean. 

LoD, Come, come. 111 {ntMopt yon. 

Can. Ill call hei forth now, ■hall I ? 

LoD. Do, do, brarely. 

Cah. Luke, I pray, bid jour minrcM to come 

LoD. Lake, I pny," bid yonr miatresa to come 

Car. Sirrah, bid my wife come to me : why, 

FiBST p.' [wtfiia] Presently, sir, she comes. 

LoD. La, you, there's the echo ! she comes. 

EnUr Bride. 

BaiDE. What is your pleasure wi^ me ? 

Cam. Marry, wife, • 

I have intent ; and, you see, this stripling here> 
He bears good will and liking to my trade. 
And means to deal in linen. 

LoD. Yes indeed, sir, I would deal in linen, if 
my mistress like me so nrell as I like ber. 

Can. I hope to find him honest : pray, good wife, 
Look that bis bed and chamber be made ready. 

Bride. You're best to let him hire me for bis 
I look to his bed ! look to't yourself. 

Can. Even so ? 
I swear to you a great oath 

LoD. Swear 7 cry zounds ! 

' Led. Lake, I pray, &c.] Lodovico repeats in bcotd the 
gentle language used by Csodido. 

* uthy, whtn] A frequent eipresiion of impatieace. See 
' note, TOl. i. p. 360. 

' Flrit F.} Old ed. " Luke"— which U the First Prentice's 
name: see p. ISO. 


Cas. 1 mill not, — go to, wife,— I will not 

LoD. Thst your great oath ! 

Can. Swallow these gudgeons. 

LoD. Well said ! 

Bbioe. Then fast, then you may choose.* 

Car. You know at table 
Wbal tricks you play'd, swagger'd, broke glasses, fie. 
Fie, fie, fie ! and now, before my prentice here, 
Ydu make an aaa of mc, thou — what shall I call 

Bride. Even what you will. 

LoD. Call her arrant whore. 

Can. O fie, by no means! then she'll call me 
cnckald. — 
Sirrah, go look to tb' shop. — How does this shew ? 

LoD. Excellent well. — I'll go look to the shop, 
sir. — Fine cambrics, lawns ; what do you lack ? 

{_Goet into the ihop." 

Can. a curst cow's milk I ha' drunk once before, 
And 'twas so rank in taste, I'll drink no more ; 
Wife, I'll tame jou. 

Bkue. You may, air, if jou can ; 
But at a wrestling I have seen a fellow 
Limb'd like an ox thrown by a little man. 

Cam. And so you'll throw me? — Reach me, knaves, 

LoD. A yard for my master ! 

IiODovico retunu from the thop mth a yard-wand, 
andfolUmed by Prentket. 
First P. My master is grown valiant. 
Cam. I'll teach you fencing tricks. 

* Then fast, tktit gau may cham'] Old ed. m*k«* tbia the 
flnt Hiw of Candido'i ■peccb ; aod m in Dodslcy'i OU P%i / 
' (tap] See note, p. S4. 


PiBimcEs. lUre, rare! a prise!' 

Lot.. WbatwiU 

Cak. Marry, my good prentice. 
Nothing but breathe my wife. 

Bbiue. Breathe me with your yard ? 

LoD. No, he'll but measure you out, fareood). 

Bkidh. Since you'll needs fence, handle your 
weapon well. 
Far if ynu take a yard, I'll take an ell. — 
Reach me an ell ! 

LoD. An ell for ray mistresa ! {^Bringi on ell- 
niandfrom the ihop.] — Keep the laws of the noble 
science, sir, and measure weapons with her : your 
yard is a plain heathenish weapon ; 'tis too short ; 
she may give you a handful, and yet you'll not 
reach her. 

Can. Yet I ha' the longer arm. — Come, fall to't 
And spare not me, wife, for I'll lay't on soundly : 
If ii'or huKJianda their wives will needs be n 
We men will have a law to win't at wasters. 

Lou. 'Tis for the breeches, is't not? 

Can. For the breeches. 

Bridk. Husband, I'm for you; I'll not striked 

Cam. Nor I. 

Bhioe. But will you sign to one request ! 

Cak. What's that ? 

Bhide. Let me give the first blow. 

Cah. The first blow, wife ?— Shall I ? " 

Reed. — See, at p. 11$, the 

iiicauing llint Loduv 


LoD. Let her ha't : 
I'lfihe itrike hard, in to her and break her pate ! 

Cah. a bargain: strike! 

Bride. Then guard you from this blow, 
For I play all at legs, but 'tis thus low. [Kneelt. 
Behold, I'm such a cunt>ing fencer grown, 
1 keep my gronnd, yet down I will be thrown 
With the least blow you give me : I disdain 
The wife that is her husband's sovereign. 
She that upon your pillow first did rest, 
Tbey »ay, the breeches wore, which I detest : 
The tax which she impos'd on' you, I abate you ; 
If me you make your master, I shell hate you. 
The world shall judge who offers fairest play ; 
You win the brt-eches, but 1 win the day. 

Car. Thou winn'st the day indeed. Give me thy 

111 challenge thee no more : my patient breast 
Plaj'd thus the rebel only for a jest : 
Here's the rank rider that breaks colts ; 'tis he 
Can tame the mad folks and curst wives." 

Bkidb. Who ? your man ? 

Cam. My man f my master, though his head be 

But he's so courteous, he'll put oGThis hair. 

LoD. Nay, if your service he so hot a man cannot 
keep his hair .on, I'll serve you no longer." 

Bbide. Is this your schoolmaster 7 

LoD. Yes, faith, wench, I taught him to take thee 

' fii] OH ed. " vpon." 

* irintl A •rord Kcms to have dropt out : qy. 

" Can tomt madfolki, and curii witei euit; t " 

* a» longer^ Here, it ibould iceiii, Lodovico takes offtht 
"EtlM hair whicti wat put of bii ditguiie. 

168 THE sKcont TAMJ or 

down : I hope tbon aiut take him down witboiU 

Yon ha* got the caaqaeat, and yaa both are friends." 

Cak, Bear witness else. 

Lan. My preatic«sbip then ends. 

Car. For ibe good serrice joa to me bare done, 
I giTe yon all jour years. 

LoD. I thank you, master. 
Ill kiss my mistress now, that she may say. 
My man was bound and free all in one day. 



A» Apartment m Hippolito's House. 

Enter Ikfelice, and Oklando dUgmited at a 

Inf. From whom, aayst thou ? 

Or. From a poor gentlewoman, madam, whom I 

Inf. And what's your business? 

Or. This, madam : my poor mistress has a waste 
piece of ground, which ia her own by inheritance, 
and lef^ to her by her mother ; there's a lord now 
that goes about, not to take it clean from her, but 
to enclose it to himself, and to join it to a piece of 
his lordship's. 

Inf. What would she have me do in this 7 

Or. No more, madam, but what one woman 
should dp for another in such a case. My hon- 
ourable lord your husband would do any thing in 
her behalf, but she had rather put herself into your 


; you, a woman, majr < 

Inf. Where lies this land ? 

Or, Within a stone's cast of this place : mj mis- 
tress, I think, would be content to let him enjoy it 
after her decease, if that would serve his tnm, »o 
mj master would yield too ; but she cannot abide 
to hear that the lord should tneddle with it in her 

Inf. Is she then married ? why stirs not her 
husband in it ? 

Or, Her husband stirs in it underhand ; but 
because the oiher is a great rich man, my master 
ia ioath to be seen in it too much. 

Ikv. Let her in writing draw the cause at large. 
And I will move the duke. 

Oft. Tia set down, madam, here in black and 
wbite already. Work it so, madam, that she may 
keep her own without disturbance, grievance, mo- 
lestation, or meddling of any other, and she bestows 
this pnrse of gold od your ladyship. 

Ikf, Old man, I'll plead for her, but take no 
fees ; 
Give lawyers them, I swim not in that flood ; 
III touch no gold till I have done her good. 

Or. I would all proctors' clerks were of your 
mind I I should law more amongst them than 1 do 
then. Here, madam, is the survey, not only of the 
manor itself, but of the grange-house, with every 
meadow, pasture, plough-land, cony-burrow, fish- 
pond, hedge, ditch, and bush, that stands in it. 

IGhet a Utter. 

Ikp. My husband's name and hand and seal at 

To B love-letter! where badst thou this writing ? 




Oa. From the foresaid _ 
keep die foresaid land ou( of die foresaid lord't 

1st. My lord turned ranger now I 

Or. You're a good huDtress, lady ; you ha' 
found your game already : your lord would fain be 
a ranger, but my miatress requests you to let hint 
run a course in your owa park ; if you'll not do'i 
for love, then do't for money ; she has no white 
money, but there's gold ; or else she prays you to 
ring himi* by (his token, and so you shall be sure 
his nose will not be rooting other men's pastures. 
[Gire* parte and ring. 

IxF. This very purse was woven with mine own 
hands ; 
This diamond, on that very night when he 
Untied my virgin girdle, gave I him : 
And must a common harlot share in r 
Old man, to quit thy pains, lake thou the gold. 

Ok. Not I, madam ; old serving-tnen ivi 

Inf. Cupid himself was sure his secretary ; 
These lines i are even the arrows Love let flies* 
The very ink dropt out of Venus' eyi 

Ob. I do not think, madam, but he fetched 
some poet or other for those lines, for they 
parlous'' hawks to fly at wenehes. 

' ring Aim] " To prevint Bwine from doing miKhief, it it 
iuu>l Id put ring! through their noalrils." Begd. 

* Thtie liiei, Sie-I " Probably, to smcnd the grammar, «c 
ought 10 read, 

■ Thae lines are ev'n the arrow* Love lets Jj, 
The very ink dropt out of Venus' eye.' " CoLLicii. 
No: 1 believe the author urole the couplet as given in the text. 
' parloui} A corruption of fwrifoHj — i. e. daiigi:rDu>ly shrewd. 

dd. . 


r Bat luBt can set a double edge on nit. 
I Or. Nay, that's true, inadsm ; a nench will whet 
any thin^', if it be not too dull. 

IsF. Oaths, promises, preferments, jewels, gold. 
What snares should breiik, if all these cannot hold ? 
What creature is thy mistress ? 

Ob. One of those creatures that are contrary to 

Ikf. What manner of woman 7 

Or. a little tiny woman, lower than your lady- 
ship by head and shoulders, but as mad a wench as 
ever imlaced a petticoat i these things should I 
indeed have delivered to my lord your husband. 

IifF. They are deliver'd better : why should she 
Send back these things 1 

Or. 'Ware, 'ware I there's knavery. 

Int. Strumpets, like cheating gamesters, will 

At first ; these are but baits to draw him in. 
How might I leam his hunting hours 7 

Ok. The Irish footman can tell you all his 
himting hours, the park he hunts in, the doe he 
would strike ; that Irish sliackatory* beats the bush 
for him, and knows all ; he brought that letter and 
that ring ; he is the carrier. 

Imf. Know'st thou what other gifts have pass'd 
between them 7 

Ob. Little saint Patrick knows all. 

Ikf. Him III examine presently. 

* AaekatBry] " L e. hoand. So in TTkf tFaadtring Jan, 
■ig. n ' — for Time, thoogh he be tn old man, ii an excellent 
rootman : DO ikaekalorg comes neere him, if hee once get the 
■tan, hee'a gone, and jou gone loo.' " Rbed. 

. Noi whilst I am here, 8w€ 
~s gone, then, and what 

Come hither, sirrah ! 

[£ii( Oklando. 

EtiCer Bri 

How much cost those 
And cloth of silver which my husband sent by yt 
To a low gentlewoman yonder ? 

Bry- Faai satins ? faat silvers ? fast low gentle- 
folks ? dow pratest dow knowest not what, i'faat, la. 

Inf. She there to whom you carried If 

Brv. By dis hand and bod dow saist 
did so, O how ? 1 know not a letter a' de book, 
i'faat, la. 

Inf. Did your lord never send you with a ring, 

Set with a diamond ? 

Bhy. Never, sa crees sa' me, never ! hi 
at a tonsand rings, i'faat, and I never hold bis 
stirrup till he leap into de saddle. By saint 
Patrick, madam, I never touch my lord's diamond, 
nor ever bad to do, i'faat, la, with any of bis pre- 

£B(er HiPFOLiTo. 
Inf. Are you so close, you bawd, you pandering 
slave ? [_A'trikes him. 

Hip. How now ? why, Infelicc, what's your 

quarrel ? 
Inf. Out of my sight, base varlet ! get thee gone. 
Hip. Away, you rogue ! 

Bby. Slawne loot, fare de well, fare de well. Ah 
marragh fro/at boddah hreai! {Exit, 

-, &£.] See n' 




Hip. What, grown a fighter? prithee, whai's the 

Int. If you'U needs know, it was about the clock .- 

How works the day, my lord, pray, by your 


Hip. Lest you culFme, I'll tell yoii presentlyii 

Ik7. How, two? Vm scarce at one 
Hip. One of us then goes false. 
Inf. Then sure 'tis you; 
Mine goes by heaven's dial, the sun, and it goei 

Hip. i think indeed mine run* somewbat too 

Ihf. Set it to mine at one then. 

Hip. One I 'tis past : 
Tis put one by the sun. 

Inp. Faith, then, belike 
Neither your clock nor mine does truly strike ; 
And (ince it is uncertain which goes true, 
Better be false at one than false at two. 

Hip. You're very pleasant, madam. 

Ikp. Yet not merry. 

Hip. Why, Infelice, what should make you sad ? 

Ikf. Nothing, my lord, but my false watch : 
pray, tell me, — 
You tee my clock or yours is out of frame. 
Host ire upon the workman lay the blame, 
Or on ourselves" that keep them ? 

Hip. Faith, on both : 
He may by knavery spoil themi, we by sloth. 
But why talk you all riddle thus ? I read 
Strange comments in those margins of your looks : 
Yonr cheeks of late are, like bad-printed books, 

* oHrnivet] Old ed. " joazithui." 


So dimly cbaracter'd, I scarce can spell 

One line of love 

1 ther 

e all's not well. 

Ihf. All is not well indeed, my dearest lord : 
liock up thy gales of hearing, that no sound 
or nlial I speak may enter. 

Hip. What means (his? 

Inp. Or if my own tongue must myself betray. 
Count it a dream, or turn thine eyes away. 
And think me not thy wife. [^KnecU. 

Hip. Why do you kneel ? 

Inf. Earth is sin's cushion : when the eick aoul 
Herself growing poor, tlien she turns beggar, cries 
And kneels for help. Hippolito — for husband 
I dare not call ihee — I have siol'n that jewel 
Of my chaste honour, which was only thine. 
And given it to a slave. 

Hip. Ha? 


On thy p 

Adultery and lust have slept ; ihy groom _ 

Halh climh'd the unlawful tree, and pluck'd t 

A villain hath usurp'd n husband's sheets. 
Hip, 'Sdeath, who ?' — ^a cuckold!— who! 
Inf. This Irish footman. 
Hip. Worse than damnation ! a wild kern 

A dog whom I'll scarce apurn I Long'd yon 

8ham[r]ock ! 
Were it my father's father, heart, I'll kill him 

' kent] i. e., properly, an Irish faoi-ioldier — a low, h*^^ 
fellon I " the Tcry dniiBC and acum of ibe couiilrcy," laja 
B. Riche, ..." ihil live b;r rabliing and spoyling tbe poor 
countreynuD :" {»ide BoBwell'i nole on Macbtti — Mxloae't 
Skaketptart, vol. sL p. 16.) So too Ur^fUi aflerwordl tl 
of going to Heal cowi again in Iiclaod, p. 177. 


113 (leath-bcd gasping 
a shag-hair'd " cur ! Bold 
Why hang'st thou oc me ? tliink'st I'll be a bawd 
To a whore, because she's noble ? 

Ijtr. I beg hut this, 
Set not my shame out lo the world's broad eye. 
Yet let tby vengeance, like tny fault, soar high. 
So it be in darken'd clouda. 

Hip. Darken'd ? my horns 
Cannot be darken'd, nor shall my revenge. 
A harlot to my slave ? the act ts base. 
Common, but foul ; so shall not thy diBgracv.' 
Could not I feed your appetite ? O women, 
You were created angels, pure and fair. 
But aince the first feU, tempting devils you are '. 
Yon should be men's bliss, but you prove their 

Were there no women, men might live like gods. 
Yon hs' been too much down already ; rise, 
Get from my sight, and henceforth shun my bed ; 
ni with no strumpet's breath be poisoned. 
As for your Irish lubrican.T that spirit 
Whom by preposterous charms thy lust hath rais'd 
Id a wrong circle, him 111 damn more black 
Than any tyrant's soul, 
Ikv. Hippolito ! 

' dkag-kaiT'd] " Shaknpeare beitowa the ume epithet 
on a kera ot Ireluid, in the Second Pirt of King Himy 71. 
[act iii w. 1]." Reed. 

* OtaSmt tkg dugraci] Old ed. " iball thy diigrace -," but 
see Infeliee'i repetition of the ptuiage in the next page. 
' ImbrioBi] Compire Drsylon ; 

" By the Maodrake'i dreadfull ^aanes. 

By the Lubtianit ud moaDei," &c. 
NkiphUia (apjpended to Baiimlt i^J^ncanrt, ttc), 
p. 117, id. 1627. 


Hip. Tell me, didst thou bait hooks' to dran him 
to thee. 
Or did he bewitch ihee ? 
Imf. The slave did woo me. 
HtF. Two-wooes* in thai screech-owl's langii 

O, who'd trust ^ 

Your cork-heel'd sex ? I think, to sate your last;'' 
You'd love a horse, a bear, a croaking toad, 
So your hot itching veins might have their bound. 
Then the wild Irish dart" was thrown ? tome, how ? 
The manner of this fight? 

Ihf. 'Twhh thus : he gave me this battery first — 
Mistake — believe me, nil this in beaten gold ; 
Yet I held out, hut at length thus*^ was charm'd. 

[Gifct teller, purse, and ring. 
What, change your diamond, wench ? the act is 

Common, but foul ; so shall not yT>ur disgraoi 

Could not I feed your appetite? O men, 

You were created augela, pure and fair. 

But since the first fell,' worse than devils you a 

You should our shields be, but you prove our rods : 

Were there no men, women might live like gods. 

Guilty, my lord ? 

Hip. Yes, guilty, my good lady. 

■ hoaki'i Old ed. " HankcE," which in Dodslef's Old Pfoyi 
is carefully modernised to " hawks I " 

• rwo-u'oori] A play on the word wbicheipresaetllMM 
of ihc owl ; 

" Then nightly sings the staring owl, 

ou are! I 

To- who. 

Tu-whit, lo-v/ho. a men 

Shnkeapeare's Lnre'i I 

<> IHsh dart] Ad allusion to the 

Tunning footmen : see note on J I 

' Iftw] Old ed. " this," 

B," &C. 

THB aDXIlT waoKX. 

Ixt. Nay, you may laugh, but lieaceforth «hui 



Wiih no wfhore's lea 

Hip. O'erreach'd 

And letter nbicb I i 

Some ipidei closely 

ings I'll be poisa 

) nnely ? 'tis the very diamond 

: thig villany 

ives, whose poison'd bulk^ 
I must let forth. Who's there without ? 

Seb. [wifAin] My lord calls. 

Hip. Send me the footman. 

Sek. [jvitAin] Call the footman to my lord. — 
Biyan, Bryaji ! 

Hip. It can be no man else. That Irish Judas, 
Bred in a country where no venom prospers* 
But in the nation's blood, liath thus betray'd me. — 

Re-enUr Bbtan. 
Slave, get you from your service ! 

Bar. Faat meanest tbou by this now l 

Hip. Question me not, nor tempt my fury, Tillain : 
Couldst thou turn all the mountains in the land 
To hills of gold, and give' me, here tbou stay's! not. 

BaT. I'faat, I care not 

Hip. Prate not, but get thee gone ; I shall send 

Bar. Ay, do, predee ; I had rather have thee make 
a Bcabbard of my guts, and let out all de Irish 
paddings in my poor belly, den to be a false knave 
to dee, i'faat ; I will never see dine own sweet face 
more. A maahid deer a gra, fare dee well, fare 
dee well ; I will go steal cows again in Ireland. 


* tatt] " i. e. bod;." TUsd. 

■ a amatty uhert » venom praipen] Stint Patrick, sccordiDg 
to the legnxl, hning purged Ireland from all vcnomau* 
crtalarei : tee Shiilejr'i 31. Patrick far Irtbmd, act T. K. 8— 
ITtria. nL iT. 

' giw] Old eds. " to giKt." 


HlF. He's damn'd that raia'd this whirlwind, 

which hath hlovtn 
Into her eyes this jealousy ; yet I'll on, 
I'll on, stood arm'd devils staring in my face : 
To be puTEu'd in flight quickens the race. 
Shall my blood- si reams by a wife's lust be barr'd ? 
FondK woman, no; iron grows by strokes more 

Lawless desires are seas scorning all bounds, 
Or sulphur which, being ramm'd up, more con- 

StTUggling wiih madmen madness nothing tamee, 
Winds wrestling with great fires incense the flames. 



A Room in Matueo's House. 

Enter Bellafboht, and Oklahdo disguised 

Bel. How now, what ails your master? 

Oft. Has taken a younger brother's purgOtf 
sooth, and that works with liim. 

Bel, Where is his cloak and rapier' 

Or. He has given up his cloak, and his rapier » 
bound to ihe peace : tf you look a little higher, you 
may see that another hath entered into hatband for 
him too. Six and four have put him into this 

Bel. Where's all his money? 

Oe. 'Tia put over by exchange : his doublet was 
going to be translated, but for me : if any man 
would ha' lent but half a ducat on his beatd, the 

■ Fnd] i. e. tootitb. 

hair of it bad atnft a pur of breeclies'' by thii 
time ; I had but one poor penny, and tbat I wai 
glad to niggle out and buy a bolly-wand to grac« 
him tfaoroogh the street ; as bap was, bis boots were 
on, and tben' I dusted, to make people think he had 
been riding, and I had run by lum. 

Bkl. O me 1 

Enter M&ikbo. 
How does my sweet MatheoT 

Hat. O rogue, of what devUiah stufiTare these 
dice made off of the parings of the devil's corns 
of his toes, that they run thus damnably ? 

Bel. I prithee, vex not. 

Mat. If any handicraft's- man was ever sufTered 
to keep shop in liell, it will be a dice-maker ; he's 
able to undo more souls than the devil : I played 
with mine onn dice, yet lo^t. Ha' you any 
money ? 

Bel. 'Las, I ha' none ! 

Mat. Must have money, must have some ; must 
have a cloak, and rapier, and things : will you go 
set your lime-twigs, and get me some birds, some 
money ? 

Bel. What lime-twigs should I set? 

Mat. You will not, then? must have cash and 
pictures ; do ye hear, frailty, shall I walk in a 
Plymouth cloak,' that's to say, like a rogue, in my 

' Ihtni Qy. " (hem ?" 

> Plymouth cloak] ■■ ' That la,' aays Ray, in Iiis Proverbi, 
1742, p. 238, ' a fane, a ilof: whereof this is the occasion. 
Many a man of good extraclion, coining home from fur voy- 
ages, may chance to land here, and, being out of sorts, is 
unable for the present time and place lo recruit himself nith 
clothes. Here (if not friendly provided) tbey make the next 
■ood their draper's shop, where a staff cut out serves them 
for a covering. For we use when we walk in cacrpe lo carry 
a staff in our haods, but none when in ■ cloak.' " Heed. 


hoBfiJ and doublet, and a crab-tree cudgel to my 

hand, and you swim in your satins ? must have 

money; come. [Taking off her gimm. 

Oa. Is't bcd-liine, master, that you undo my 


> your verj' 

Bel. Undo me? yes, yes, at tliesc r 
Have been too often. 

Mat. Help to flay, Pucheco. 

Oh. Flaying call you it? 

Mat. I'll pawn you, by tli' Lord, I 
eyebrows ! 

Bel. With all my heart ; since heaven will have 
me poor, 
Ah good be drown'd at sea as drown'd at shore. 

Or. Why, hear you, sit I j'faith. do not make 
away her gowi 

Mat. O, it 
fashion for a worn; 

0«. Why, pray, 
you have of mine. 

yont only 
iw is to be light, to be light, 
employ some of that money 

11 starve 6rst, I'll beg first ; when 
1 touch a penny of that, let these fingers' ends rot. 

Ob. So they may, for that's past touching. I 
saw my twenty pounds fly high. [^Atide. 

Mat. Knowest thou never a damned broker 
about the city ? 

Or. Damned broker ? yea, live hundred. 

Mat. The gown stood me in above twenty 
ducats; borrow ten of it: cannot live without 

Or. I'll make what I can oft, sir, 111 be your 

But not your iliimn'd broker : O thou scurvy knave ! 

What makes a wife turn whore but such a slave ? 

l^Aside, and exit mth Bsllafro: 

' Awe] i. e. breechef. 

Tax noMEsT vnomE, 

^ Mat. How now, little cbick, what atlest ? we L 
ing for a bandful of tailor's shreda ? pox on the^. . 
are there not silka enow at mercer's 'I 
Bel. 1 care not for gay feathers, I. 
Mat. What dost care for, then ? why dost grieve? 
Bll. Why do I grieve ? a thousand sorrows strike 
At one poor heart, and yet it lives. Matheo, 
Thou art a gamester; prithee, throw at all, 
Set all upon one cast. We kneel and pray, 
And struggle for life, yet must be cast away : J 

Heet misery quickly then, split all,'' sell all ; I 

And when thou'st sold all, spend it; but, I beseech* 

Build not thy mind on me to eoio thee more : 
To get it, wouldat thou have me play the whore ? 
Mat. Twas your profession before I married you. 
BiL. Umh? 'twas indeed: if all men should be 
Foi sins long since laid up, who could be sav'd ? 
The qnarter-day'a at hand ; how will you do 
To pay tht rent, Matheo ? 

Hat. Why, do aa all of our occupation do against 
^uner-days ; break up house, remove, shift your 
Mgings : pox a' your quarters ! 

Enter Lodovico. 

LoD. Where's this gallant ? 

Hh. Signor Lodovico? how does my little Mirror 
ofKnighthood ?' this is kindly done, i'faith ; wel- 
"■e, by my troth. 

I«o. And how dost, frolic? — Save you, fair 

''Mb lookest amug and bravely, noble Mat. 

*i|>lila«] Seenote, val. iLp. £13. 
Umr ^ KaigUhDad'] The atM afa celsbratsd comiDce, 
"■Htated from the Spanish. 

TOt. Ul. K 


Mat. Drink and feed, laugh and lie warm. 

LoD. Is this Ihy wife? 

Mat. a poor gentlewomBn, sir, whom 1 

LoD. Pay c 

It to your lipfi, sweet ladvi 

e shells" of him — somsif 

LoD. I'll send for't ther 


slgnor ? 

Lon. Here, or I'U not stay, I protest : trouble 
the gentlewoman too much ! [Giiie» money to Bel- 
LAFttoNT, mho goet out.] And what news flies 
abroad, Matheo ? 

Mat. Troth, none. O aignor, we ha' been 

LuD. And no doubt shall agen :° 
The divine powers never shoot darts at 
Mortal, to kill them. 

Mat. You say true. 

LoD. Why should vie grieve at want f say the 
world made thee 
Her minion, that thy head lay in her lap. 
And that she danc'd thee on her wanton knee. 
She could but give thee a whole world, that's all. 
And that all's nothing ; the world's greatest part 
Cannot fill up one corner of thy heart. 
Say the three corners were all fdl'd, alas, 
Of what art thou possess'd? a thin-blown glass, 

** shtlU] A cant ti-nn for uiotiey: see note, vol. ii. p. 543. 

" agrn] Thp old ipelling of agon, and nrceasary here for 
the rhyme. — Thii ii nn imperfect couplet (compare p. S% and 
note), for (he preceding ipeech of Ualheo ii — " 

e p. 5% and 


Such as by boys is pufTd into the air. 

Were Inenty kingJonis iliine, thou'dst live in care ; 

Thou couldst not sleep the better, nor live longer, 

Not merrier be, nor health fuller, nor stronger. 

It, then, thou want'sC, thus mak*: that want thy 

pleasure ; 
No man wants all things, nor has all in measure. 

Mat. I am the most wretched fellow! sure aonie 
iefl-hauded priest christened me, 1 am so unlucky ; 
I am never out of one puddle or another ; still 

Re-enter Beilafront with nine. 

Fill out wine to my little finger. With my heart, 

i'fath. iDrink:!. 

LoD. Thanlcfl, good Matheo. To your own sweet 

self. IDrmkt. 

Re-enter O&lhudq. 

Ok. All the brokers' hearts, sir, are made of flint : 

I ctn, with all my knocking, strike but six sparks 

otGreout of them: here's sis. ducats, if you'll take 


Hat. Give me them [taking monev] : an evil con- 
Mence gnaw them all I motha and plagues hang 
iipoa their lousy wardrobes ! 
LoD. Is this your man, Matheo? 
Mat. An oId° serving-man. 
Oi. You may give me t'other half too, sir ; that's 
Loo. What hast there ? gold ? 
Mai. a sort" of rascals are in my debt God 
^Mi what, and they feed me with bits, with 
'nuiii, a pox choke liiem I 


Loi>. A word, Mntheo ; be not angry with 
Believe it, that I know the touch of time, 
And can part copper, though't be gilded o'er. 
From tile true gold : the sails which thou dost 

Would shew well if they were not borrowed. 
The Bound of thy low fortunes drew me hithw: 
I give myself unto thee, prithee, use me 
I will bestow on you a suit of satin. 
And all things else to fit a gentleman, 
Because I love you. 

Mat. Thanks, good, noble knight ! ^^ 

LoD. Call on me when you please : till tbeo, 
farewell. \_Exit. . 

Mat. Hast angled? hast cut up this fresh salmon? 

Bel. Wouldsl have me be so base ? 

Mat. It's base to steal, it's base to be a whore : 
Thou'lt be more base ; I'll make thee keep a door.P 
ineak sway with all the 



will r 

Or. I hope hi 
money, will he t 

Bel, Thou seest he does. 

On. Nay. then, it's well, I set my brains upon 
an upright last ; though my wits be old, yet they 
are like a withered pippin, wholesome. Look you, 
mistress, I told him I had but six ducats of the 
knave broker, but I had eight, and kept these t wo 
for you. 

Bel. Thou sbouldst have given him all. 

Or. What, to fly high? 

Bel. Like waves, my misery drives on m 

Or. Sell his wife's clothes from her back 1 does 
any poulterer's wife pull chickens alive ! He rioti 

• keep a doo' ] i. 

■II abroad, wants all at home ; he ilices, v 
swaggers, snears, cheats, borrows, pawns : I'll givo i 
him hook and tine a little more for all this : 
Yet sure i' th' end he'll delude all my hopca, 
Aod shew me a French trick danc'd on the roj 


SCENE ni. 

Q and liU Bride dii' 

n llie shop. 
Enter Lodovic 


LoD. Hiat, hist, lieutenant Bots ! how doat, man I 

Cak. Whither aie you ambling, madam Horse* 

His. H. About worldly profit, sir : how do your 

Bon. We want tools, gentlemen, to furnish the 
tnde ; they wear out day and night, they wear out 
tin DO metue be left in their back. We hear of two 
o three new wenches are come up with a carrier, 
loA your old goshawk here is flying at them. 

IiOD. And, faith, what flesh have you at home 7 

His. H. Ordinary dishes ; by my troth, sweet 
lu, there's few good i' th' city : I am as well fur- 
Bi>hed as any, and, though I say it, as well cus- 

Bon. We bare meats of all sorts of dressing ; 
■* bave stewed meat for your Frenchman,' pretty 
!%l>t picking meat for your Italian, and that which 
" rotten roasted for Don Spaniardo. 

LoD. Apox on't ! 

Bon. We have poulterer's ware for your sweet 

* FmehHoa] Old, ed. " Frenchmen.*' 

•o farA ; aad botcher'a mwi lor ibe ddxem yet 
nslUdi* bB mj bad tUs jcar. 

Ldi>. StsY ; i> DOC tim hit i— <m^* liara-druwt 
joaier, Mai njr 6Be youatg cm^ rnktma hk wile T 

Cak. Simb' gnaaaai, tH grre At* lor ihjr fn 
twMif era-mttt, if dioB caiMi bnt prorare ne tbe 
wcaiii^ otjoti velret cap. 

Hit. H. Yoa'd we»T aaotber dung beaides the 
cap : jou're a wag. 

Bon. Twenij crown» ? well Ebai«, aod 111 be 
fonr pv% to draw her on. 

Loo. Do'tpreaenllT ; wfH ha' same ipoit. 

Ml*. H. Wberl 5oa*aboat, awcel men: do yon 
Mc? Ill cheapen wares of the man, wbilct Bou is 
doing with his wife. 

LoD. To't : if we come inlo the th<^ to do yon 
grace, well call yoo madara. 

BoTt. Pox a' your old face! give it the badge of 
all scurvy faces, a mask. 


Chit. What ia't you lack," genilewoinan t cam- 
bric, or lawns, or fine hoUands ? pray draw near, 
I can sell you a pennyworth. 

BoT*. Some cambric for my old lady. 

Cak. Cambric? you shall, the purest thread in 

Cak.* Save you, aignor Candida. 

LoD. How does my noble masler 7 how my fair 
mistrcaa 7 

Cah. My worshipful good servant. — View it w«U, 
For 'tis both fine and even. [^Shavt 

1 mntlmi} Sec note, p. 103. 

• flrroA] Sn note, rol, ii. p. tPI. 

• iriml fl yeu taek} S« note, p. 2*. 
■ Car.] Old e± •■ Lod. and Car." 


Cab. Crr you mercy, niatlani ; though masked^ 
I thought It should be you by your miin. — PraV) 
ngnor, Rhew her the best, for she conininnly dealf 
tot good ware. 

Cam. Then this ahsOl fit her.— This \a for yout 

BoTS. A word, I pray; there is a waiting gen* 
tlewoman of my lady's, her name is Ituvna, says 
^'s your kinawoman, and that you should be ona 
of her aunts. 

Bkidb. One of her aunts? trotli, sir, 1 know her 

Bora. If it pleiM yon to be*tow the poor labour 
•( fcmr leg! at axij titne, I will be your convoy 

Bbjde. I am a snail, sir, seldom leave my house ; 
ITt please her to visit me, she shall be welcome. 

BoTS. Do you bear ? the naked troth is, my lady 
kuh a young knight, her son, who loves you ; 
T">'re made, if you lay hold upon't : this jewel he 
"idiyott. [Offers jeml. 

BuDi. Sir, 1 return bb love and jewel with 

''tgo my hand, or I shall call my husband. 

iw are an arrant knave. [£xi(. 

LoD. What, will she do I 

Bor*. Do? they shall all do, if Bots sets upon 
"'On once : she was as if she bad professed the 
|'*de, squeamish at first ; at last I shewed her this 
f*t\, said a knight sent it her. 

I«D, Is't gold and right stones 7 

Ban. Copper, copper, I go a-fishing with these 
■^ti. She nibbled," but would not swallow the 


book, because the conger-bead ber htubsnd waa 
by : but sbe bids tbe gentleman name any aAer- 
Doon and ihe'll meet bitn at ber garden-house,* 
which I know, 

LoD. Is this DO lie, now t 

BoTB. Damn me if 

LoD. O, prithee, stay there. 

BoTs. The twenty crowns, sir. 

LoD. Before he baa bis work done T but, oa iny 
knightly word, he shall pay't thee. 

Enter Astolfo, Bebaldo, Fontinbll, and Bktak. 

Abt. I thought thou hadst been gone into thine 
own country. 

Bby. No, faat, la, I cannot go dis four or tree 

Ber. Look ihee, yonder's the shop, and that's 
the man himaelf. 

FoH. Thou sbalt but cheapen, and do as we told 
thee, to put a jest upon him to abuse bis patience. 

Brt. I'faat, I doubt my pate shall be knocked : 
but, sa crees sa' me, for your shakes I will run to 
any linen>draper in hell : come, predee. 


Ber. [Save you, gallants. 


Can. You'll give no more, you aay? I cannot 

take it. 
Mis. H. Truly I'll give no more. 
Can. It must not fetch it. 
What would you have, sweet gentlemen ? 

' fordni-AMiu] See Dote, toL L p. IS2. 



AsT. Nay, here's the e 

lEreunt Bots mid Mistress Horseleech. 
Los. The garden-house, you say ? we'll boll' 
ont your roguery. 

Can. I will but lay these parcels by ; my men 
Are all at cuslom-house unloading wares ; 
If cambric you would deal in, there's ihe best, 
All Milan cannot sample it. [Shews cambne, 

LoD. Do you hear? one, two, three, — 'ifoot, 
ilieie came in four gallants ! sure your wife is 
ilipl up ; and the fourth man, 1 hold my life, is 
grafting your warden -tree.* 

Can. Ha, ha, ha! you gentlemen are full of jest. 
If she be up, she's gone some wares lo ahew ; 
I hire above as good wares as below. 

LoD. Have you lo ? nay, then 

Car. Now, gentlemen, is't cambrics ? 
Bet. I predee, now, let me have de best wa[u}reB. 
Can, What'a that he says, pray, gentlemen 1 
Lob. Marry, he aaya we are like to have the 
Car, The beat wars? all are bad, yet wars do 
And, like to surgeons, let sick kingdoms blood. 

Bit. Faat a devil pratest tow so ? a pox on dee ! 

' pndee, let me see some hollen to make linen 

'"■ni, for fear my body be lousy. 

Car. Indeed I understand no word be speaks. 

Cab. Marry, he says, that at the siege in Hol- 

J*re was much bawdry us'd among the soldiers, 
^■wigh they were lousy. 

Cak. It may be so, that's likely ; true hdeed ; 
'" nery garden, sir, does grow that weed. 



Brt. Pox on de gardens, and de weeds, and de 
fool's cap dere, and de clouts ! hear, doest make 
a hobby-horse of me ? [^Tearing the cambric. 

All. O, fie ! he has torn the' cambric. 

Cah. Tis no matter. 

AsT. It frets me to the sSoL 

Can. So does't not me : 
My customers do oft for remnants call ; 
These are two remnants now, no loss at all. 
But let me tell you, were my servants here. 
It would ha' cost more. Thank you, gentlemen ; 
I use you well, pray know my shop agen.^ 

All. Ha, ha, ha ! come, come, let's go, let's go. 



A Room in Matheo's House, 

Enter Math eg brav^ and Bellafrokt. 

Mat. How am I suited. Front ? am I not gal- 
lant, ha ? 

Bel. Yes, sir, you are suited well. 

Mat. Exceeding passing well, and to the time. 

Bel. The tailor has played his part with you. 

Mat. And I have played a gentleman's part with 
my tailor, for I owe him for the making of it. 

Bel. And why did you so, sir ? 

Mat. To keep the fashion : it's your only fashion 
now of your best rank of gallants to make their 
tailors wait for their money ; neither were it wis- 
dom in^ed to pay them upon the first edition of a 

* the] Old ed. " de." ^ agen] See note, p. 182. 

' brave'] ** i. e. fine, gaudily dressed." Reed. 


new suit : for commonly the nvh is owing for whn 
the liningG arc ivorn oiil, and there's no reasM 
then that the tailor should he paid before llw 

Bgl. la this the suit the knight bestow'd txpfim 


Mat. This is the suit, and I nec-d not shame to 

•rear it, for better men than I would be glad M 

have suits bcatoired on ihcni. It's a generont 

feUew ; but, pox on him, we vfbose pericranioBB 

are the very limbecks and stillaiories of good wit, 

and fly high, must drive liquor out of siale gaping 

_ OjMers — shallow knight, poor squire Tinacheo! 

L nimake a wild Catalan offorlj Bueh :» hang him I 

Vi an aaa, be'a alnays sober. 

BiL. Thia ii your fault to wound your frienda 
I Mat, No, faith, Front, Lodovico is a noble Sla- 
vonian : it'a more rare to see him in a woman's 
tnnpany than for a Spaniard to go into England 
■od to challenge the English fencers there. [^Knoek- 
"Vwiw-J One knocks; see. [Ew( Bellafhont] 
■~la,fa, tol, la,fa, la — lmgt]—T<ast\e in silks 
*>>d utina I there'a music in this, and a taffeta 
PWicoat, it make[a] both fly high, catsol" 

He-enUr Bellapkokt nitfr Orlando in his own 

dreu, and four Sereantt. 
BiL. Hatheo, 'tis my father. 

.\* wild Cataiait if forty ncli] " L e. forty such ■hallow 
jnbli, &e. would go ID ibe coinposilioD of a deittrttu ibirf'. 
"^1 note on neMtrry Wivii if Wmdar, [• 1 will not IwlieTa 
^ 1 Calidm,' &c, act ii. ic. 1.] " Reed. A Calaian came to 
"pi^ 1 (harper, becauie the people of Calala (China) were 
"^oui for their thieving. 
' Mm] Bee note, *oL i. p. 2M. 



Mat. Ha! father? it's no matter, he finds no 
tattered prodigals hetc. 

Oa. Ii not (he door good enough to hold your 
blae coats?' away, knaves. Wear not your clolhei 
tb^ead-bare at knees for me ; beg beaven'a bless- 
ing, not mine. l^Exeunt Scrtanli.'] — O, cry your 
woTihip mercy, sir : urns somewhat bold to talk to 
this gentlenoman your vife here. 

Mat. a poor gentlewoman, air. 

Ob. Stand not, sir, bare lo me : I ha' read oft 
That serpents who creep Ion belch ranker poiaon 
Than'' winged dragons do, that fly aloft. 

Mat. If it oflTend you, sir, 'tis for my pleasure. 

Oft. Your pleasure be't, sir. Umh, is this your 

Bel, Ves, and our kingdom, for 'tis our content. 

Oa. It's a very pour kingdom, iben ; what, are 
all your subjects gone a slieep-shcaring? not a 
maid 1 not a man ? not so much as a cat 1 You 
keep a good house belike, just hke one of your 
profession, every room wiili bare walls, and a half- 
beaded bed to vault upon, as all your bawdy-houses 
are. Pray, w)io are your upholsters ? O, the spiders, 
I see, they bestow hangings upon you. 

Mat. Bawdy-house f zounds 1 sir 

Bel. O sweet Matheo, peace I^Upon my knees 
I do beseech you, sir, not to arraign me 
~ ' ' 'i heaven, 1 hope, long 

pardon'd ! , 

Those flames, like lightning-flashes, are so s 
The heat no more remains than where ships 
Of where birds cut the air, the prii 
Mat. Vox on him ! kneel to a d 

' Than) Old. ed. " That." 


Bel. She that's a wliore 
Lives gallant," fares well, is not, like me, poor : 
1 ha' now as small acquaintance with that Bin 
As if 1 had never known't, thai never bin.' 

Ob. No acquaintance with it F what maintaliu 
tbee then? how dost live then? has thy husband 
any laoils, any rents coming in, any stock going, 
any ploughs jogging, any ships sailing ? hast tlMn 
any wares to turn, so much us to get a single peUDT 

Yes,' tfaou hast ware to sell, 
KBKvei are thy chapmen, and thy shop is hell. 

Mat. Do jod hear, lirf 

Ob. So, sir, I do hear, sir, more of you than you 
dream I do. 

Mat. You fly & little too high, sir. 

Ob. Why, air, too high t 

Mat. I ha' suffered your tongue, like a hard 
cater- tray, > to run all this while, and ha' not 
■lopt it. 

' gattaiU'] L & ID fine clothes. 

* in] i. e. been — a form ohich frequently occurs, and which 
is here neceiwry for the rhyme. 
' Ttt, Hum kiui, &c] Ad imperfect couplet: see note. 

t iari eater-fray] Properlj, barrei, &c., h sort o€ false 
iice, frequentlj mentioned by our early wrileri.^" The fol- 
lowing pasuge Inim Tkt Art of Jugeliig, or Ltgtrdtmaint, by 
S. K 4lo. 1612, (ij;. c 4, will sufficientty explaiD the terms 
■bore oied ; ' Fint you must know a laogret, nhich is a die 
thalnmple men have seldom heard of, hut often seene tolbeir 
cost ; and Ibii is a well-favoured die, and leemeth good and 
square, yet it ia foiled longer upon the cater and tree than any 
odier way : and therefore it is called a langret. Such be also 
call'd hardcaltr iTMot, because commonly the longer end will 
of bis owne swsy drawe dowDewarda, aDd turne up to the eie 
•ice sincke deuce or ace. The principsl use of them is at 
Novum, for lo longe a paire of bard eattr Irtat be walking on 

Ae bowd, so long can ye not cast five nor nins , unles tt be 
TOL. III. s 


Or. Well, sir, you talk like a gamester. 

Mat. If you come to bark at her because she's a 
poor rogue, look you, here's a fine path, sir, and 
there, there['s] the door. 

Bel. Matheo ! 

Mat. Your blue coats ^ stay for you, sir. I love 
a good honest roaring boy,* and so 

Or. That's the devil. 

Mat. Sir, sir, I'll ha' no Joves in my house to 
thunder a vaunt : she shall live and be maintained, 
when you, like a keg of musty sturgeon, shall stink ; 
where? in your cofBn — how? be a musty feUow, 
and lousy. 

Or. I know she shall be maintained, but how ? 
she like a quean, thou like a knave ; she like a 
whore, thou like a thief. 

Mat. Thief? zounds ! thief? 

Bel. Good, dearest Mat ! — Father ! 

Mat. Pox on you both ! I'll not be braved : new 
satin scorns to be put down with bare bawdy vel- 
vet. Thief? 

Or. Ay, thief; thou'rt a murderer, a cheater, a 
whoremonger, a pot-hunter, a borrower, a beggar — 

Bel. Dear father 

Mat. An old ass, a dog, a churl, a chuff, an 
usurer, a villain, a moth, a mangy mule with an old 
velvet footcloth^ on his back, sir. 

Bel. O me ! 

Or. Varlet, for this 111 hang thee. 

by great chance, that the roughnes of the table, or some other 
Btoppe, force them to stay, and run against their kinde : for 
without ccUer or trea ye know that five or nine can never 
come." Reed. 

*» blue coats] See note, p. 146. 

* roaring boy] See note on J Fair Quarrel, act ii. sc 2, in 
this vol. 

i footcloth] L e. long housing. 


Mat. Ha, lut, alas ! ; 

Ott. Thou keepest a man of mine here under my 

Mat. Under thy beojd, 

Ob. As arrant a smeU-smock, for an old mutton- 
monger,' as thyself 

M*r. No, as yourself. 

0%. As arrant a purse-taker as ever cried. Stand ! 
yet a good fellow,' I confess, and valiant ; hm he'll 
brii^ thee to th' gallons : you both have robbed of 
late two poor country pedlars. 

Mat. Hon's this, how's this? dost thou fly high? 
rob pedlars ? — Bear witness. Front — Rob pedlars 2 
my Bian and I a thief I 

Bbl. O air, no more 1 

Or. Ay, knave, two pedlars ; hoe and cry is 
up, warrants are out, and I shall see thee climb a 

Mat. And come down again a> well as a brick- 
layer or a tiler. — How the vengeance knows be 
tluaT lAtide.'] — If I be hanged, I'll tell the people 
I married old Friscohaldo's daughter ; I'll Irisco 
you and your old carcass. 

Ob. Tell what thou canat : if I atay here longer, 
I* ihall be hanged too for being in thy company ; 
therefore, as I found you, I leave you 

Mat. Kneel, and get money of him. 

Or. a knave and a quean, a thief and a strumpet, 
a couple of beggars, a brace of baggages. 

Mat. Hang upon him — Ay, ay, sir, fare you 
well; we are so — Follow close — We are beggars 
— in aatin — to him. 

ittanmimger] i. 
pj/illevi A CI 

e, p.ia2. 


Bel. Is tbis your comfort, when so many yeais 
You ha' lefl tne frozen to deatii 1 

Oa. Freeze siill, starve siiU • 

Bei,. Yes, so 1 shall ; 1 must, I must and will. 
If, OS you say, I'm poor, relieve me then. 
Let me not sell my body to base men. 
You call me strumpet ; heaven knows I am none ; 
Your cruelly may drive me to be one : 
Let not that sin be yours ; let not the shame 
Of common whore live longer than my name. i 

That cunning bawd. Necessity, night and day ^^^^ 
Plots 10 undo me ; drive that hag away, ^^^H 

Lest being at lowest ebb, as now 1 am, ^^^H 

I sink for ^^^| 

Or, Lowest ebb ! what ebb t 

Bel. So poor, that, though to tell it be my shame, 
1 am not worth a dish to hold my meat ; 
I am yet poorer, 1 want bread to eat. 

Or. It's not seen by your cheeks. 

Mat. I think she has read an homily to tickle 
to the old rogue. [^/ts'ide. 

Or. Want bread ? there's satin ; bake that. 

Mat. 'Sblood, make pasties of my clothes t 

Or. a fair new cloajc, stew that; an excellent 
gilt rapier 

Mat. Wai 


t that, ) 

Or. I could feast ten good fellows with t 

Mat. The pox, you shall ! 

Or. I shall not, till thou begg'st, think thou art 

And when thou begg'st, I'll feed thee at my door, 
As 1 feed dogs, nlih bones : till then beg, boriOK 

Pawn, steal, and hang ; turn bawd when thou'rt no 

Bfy heart-strings sure would crack were they scnia'd 
more. [Aside, and cdt. 

Mat. This is your father, your damned — «ai- 
fusioD light upon all the generation of you ! bo can 
come bragging hither with four white herrings t^t 
tail in blue coats," without roes in their belliea,1nit 
I nay starve ere he give me so much as a cob.* 

I Bei- What tell you me of this ? alas ! 

I M.»T. Go, trot after your dad; do you capitu- 
late; I'll pawn not for you, I'll not steal to be 
hsued ibr tach an hypocritical, cloaet common 
ba^t ; away, yon d(^ I Brave, i'faith ! udsfoot, 
give me some meat. 

B»L. Yea, air. [£*ii. 

Hat. Goodman alare, my man too, is galloped 
to the devil a' t'other^ side: Pacheco, I'll checo 
you ! Za this your dad's day ? England, they say, 
ii the only hell for horses, and only paradise for 
women ; pray, get you to that paradise, because 
you're caUed an Honest Whore ; there they live 
ntme but honest whores, with a pox : marry, here 
in our city all [y]our sex are but footcloth nags ;i 
the master no sooner lights but the man leaps into 
the saddle. 

Rt-aaer Bbllafront mth meat and drink, 
Bkl. Will you sit dtfwn, I pray, air } 

■ Hat eooli] See note, p. I4S. 

* a «b] " A herring it called a a>b. See Naiti's LtnUn 
Sh^. [See Gifford'i not! on B. Jonwa'a Work; vol. i. p. S8.1 
Tbere u, howevei, ■ quibble bere, for I tbiok > cob in Ireland 
•igiiifiet ■ coin or piece of oioney." Rbbd. See alio Todd's 
Jotuuon'i Diet, in *. 

» •" fttlur] Old ei " o" the tolhtr." 

1 faUtMk »agt\ L e. nagi with long honiiD([t. 


Mat. [flitting dofrn] 1 could tear, by tb' Lord, bis 
fleili, and cni his midriff in salt, as I eat this ! — 
OiustIcliokc?i— ray father Friacobaldo, I shall make 
a pitiful hog-louse of you, Orlando, if you fall once 
into my finders. — Here's the savourest meat ! I ha' 
got a stomach with chafing. — What rogue should 
tell bim of those two pedlars 1 a plague choke him 
and gnaw him to the bare bones ! — Come, fill. 

Bel. Thou sweat'st with very anger : good sweet, 

'Las, 'tis no fault of mine ! 

Mat. Where didst buy this mu 
b«tt«r ribs. 

Bel- a neighbour sent it me. 

Re-enter Orlakuo disguited as 

Mat. Ma, neighbour? fob, my month utlnks' 

You whore, do you beg victuals for me ? is thts 

satin doublet to be bonibasted' with broken meat ? 

f Takec up a ttoot. 

Ob. What will you do, sir ! 

Mat. Beat out the bra 

Or. Beat out an ass's 1 
mislressl \E.nt Bellai 
touch one h ' 
with old 


worse these s< 

ns of a beggarly 

sad of your own. — Away, 

fioNT.] — Zounds, do hut 
r of her, and I'll bo quilt your cap 
, that your coxcomb shall ache the 

gsted rabbit, that yoi 

s for't : does she look like a 

a the head for tl 

away, four marks ;* trudge. 

D out of my doors, ' 

1 >no*l IchxA,'] He meia*. perhj 
le ilrink t 

■ bimhaiti^ " i. c. stuffed ouL" 
• markt} A mnrk wsi Us. id. 


thk rohsst whokb. 1M 

Or. Four marks? no, sir: my twraiy pounltkat 
you ha,' maile fly l>igh, and I am gone. 

Mat. Must I be ted with chippings ? you're bwt 
get a clapdish,* and say you're proctor lo aom* 
■pittk' house : where hast ihou been, PachMOt 

ime hither, my little turkey-cock. 

Ob- I cannot abide, air, to see a woman wtoogs^ 
not I. 

Mat. Sirrah, here was my father-in-law to-imft 

Oa. Pish, then you're full of crowns. 

Mat. Hang him ! he would ha' thrust crown 
upon mc to have fallen in again, but I scorn cart 
ffp't'Tt, or any man'a gold. 

Ob. Bat mine. [^Aade.'] — How did be brook 
diat, lirt 

Hat. O, iwore like a dozea of dninken tinkerfi : 
at list growing foul in words, he and four of his 
nen drew upon me, air. 

Oa. In your houae f would I had been by ! 

Mat. I made no more ado, but fell to my old 
lock, and bo thrashed my blue coats" and old crab- 
Izee-lace my father-in-law, and then walked like a 
lion in my grate. 

Ob. O noble master ! 

Hat. Sirrah, he could tell me of the robbing the 
two pedlars, and that warrants are out for us both. 

Ob. Good sir, I like not those crackers. 

Mat. Crackhidter, wu't set thy foot to mine 7 

Oa. How, sir ? at drinking J 

Mat. We'll pull that old crow my father ; rob 
tbj master : I know the house, thou the servants ; 
the purchase* is rich, the plot to get it easy; the 
dog will not part from a bone. 

* cl^duk] S«e note, *oL iL p. 169. 

■ hiMt eoatf] See Dote, p. 146. 

' jHnAaM] " Was aociently a cant word for iiDlen goods." 

Ob. Pluck't 

>ne, if this- ca 

Mat. Say 


t of his throat then; I'll snarl for 

no more, say no more, old Cole;' 
at the sign of the Shipwreck. 

meet me a 
Or. Yes, s 
Mat. And dost hear, man? — the Shipwreck. 

Or. Thou'rt at the shipwreck now, and like a 

Bold but unexjiert with those waves dost play. 
Whose dalliance, whorelike, is to cast thee sway. 

Enter Hippolito and Bellafronx. 
And here's another vessel, belter fraught. 
But as ill mann'd ; her sinking will be wrought, 

I'll therefore bravely out ; somewhat I'll do. 

And either save them both, or perish Coo. [Exit. 

Kie. 'Tis my fate to be bewitched by those eyes. 

Bet. Fate I your folly: 
Why should my face thus mad you ! 'las, those 

Are wound up long ago which beauty spread 1 
The flowers that once grew here are withered. 
You lurn'd my black soul while, made it look new. 
And should I sin, it ne'er should be with you. 

Hip. Your hand ; I'll offer you fair play : 1 
We met i' ih' lists together, you remember 
You were a common rebel \ with one parlejrfl 
I won you lo come in. 

Bel. You did. 

* Mil] L e., I BUppofe, Ilia twori 
' old Cole} Qy- Is iliii an alJ-isii 

of Old Kitig CtU I but I recollect n 

MiiialetoQ-a lime. 

Htp. I'll try 
f now 1 can beat down thia chastity 
With the same ordnance ; will you yield tbig fort. 
If with the power of argument now, as then, 
I I get of you the conquest ; as before 
r I tum'd you honest, now to turn you whore 
[ By force of strong pers 
J Bel. [f vou can, 

Bit. "nm Bbmn^a itmek up : Vm year mn. 

kb A wooMn give* ddfarne*. 

Hir. Sit. [7%(yj«af tAmiMlMr. 

Bit. Begin; 
Til a bntTC battle to encomiter ain. 

Hip. You men that are to fight in the same war 
To which I'm prest, and plead at the same bar, 
To win a woman, if you'd have me speed, 
Send all your wishes ! 

Bkl. No donbt you're heard : proceed. 

Hip. To be a harlot, that you stand upon. 
The very name's a charm to make you one. 
Harlot[ta] was a dame of so divine 
And ravishing touch,* that she was concubine 
To an English kiog:^ her sweet, bewitching eye 
Did the king's heart-strings in such love-knots tie, 
That even the coyest was proud when she could hear 
Hen say. Behold, another Harlot there ! 
And, a^r her, all women that were fair 
Were harlots call'd, as to this day some are : 
Besides, her dalliance she so well does mix, 
That she's in Latin call'd the merelrix. 

' (Mol] See note, vol. i. p. S44. 

Ta an EngUih king] '• Arlttla (&on whence the word AoT- 
lat ii fkncifiiUj deriTedJ wM not the coacubine of hh EoBlitb ' 
gpoDiTch, but niittreu to Robert, one of the dukci of Nor- 
mandy, and hther to WUliam the Conqoerot.'' StiCTBHS. 


Thus for the name : for the profession this ; _ 

Who lives in bondage lives lac'd ; the chief bliss 

This world below can yield is liberty ; 

And who than whores with looser wings dare Sy ? 

As Juno's proud bird spreads the fairest tail. 

So does a strumpet hoist the lofUest sail : 

She's no man's slave; men are her slaves; ber 

Moves not on wheels acrew'd up with jealousy : 
She, hors'd or coach'd, does merry journeys make, 
Free as the sun in his gilt zodiac ; 
As bravely does she shine, as fast she's driveo, 
But stays not long in any house of heaven, 
But shifts from sign to sign her amorous priies, 
More rich being when she's down than when she 

In brief, gentlemen haunt them, soldiers tight far 

Few men but know them, few or none abhor them. 
Thus for sport' sake speak I, as to a woman, 
Whom, as the worst ground, 1 would turn to com- 

But you I would enclose for mine own bed. 

Bel. So should a husband be dishonoured. 

HiF. Dishonour 'd 1 not s whit : to fall to one 
Besides your husband is to fall to none, 

Bel. Faith, should you uke 
One in your bed, would you that reckoning make f 
'Tis time you sound retreat. 

Hip. Say, have I won ? 

Is the day ours 1 

Bel. The battle's but half done. 
None but yourself have yet sounded alarms ) 
Let us strike too, else you dishonour arms. 

Hip. If you con win the day, the glory's y 

Bn. To piom » mman ■bcmld not be a wliore, 
Whn ibo wu made ihe bad one man, and no mora ; 
Tet aha waa tied to laira thai, fix even than' 
Tie aaid ibe waa not made tor men, but man. 
Amm, f faicieaae aarth'a brood, the law wae varied, 
Mm ahonid mho mutj wiTci ; and thongfa thef 

K to diat act, yet 'tie not known 
It that ooae wiret were onlj tied to one. 
New parijammta were aince ; fitr now one woman 
!■ ni'd between thrne bondnd, nay, abe'a com- 

Common aa ipotted leoparde, whom for sport 
Men fannt to get the flceh, but care not for't : 
So spread they neta of gold, and tune their calls, 
To enchant silly women to take falls ; 
Swearing they're angels, which that they may wId, 
Theyll hire the devil to come with false dice in. 

Sireni' subtle tunes I yourselves you flatter. 
And our weak sex betray : so men love water ; 

It serve* to wash their hands, hut, being once foul. 
The water down is pour'd, cast out of doors. 
And even of such base use do men make whores. 
A harlot, like a hen, more sweetness reaps 
To pick men one by one up than in heaps : 
Yet all feeds but confounding. Say you should 
taste me, 

1 serve but for the time, and when the day 
Of war is done, am cashier'd out of pay : 
If like lame soldiers I could beg, that's all, 
And there's lust's rendezvous, an hospital. 

Who then would be a man's slave, a man's woman ? 
She's half-starv'd the first day that feeds in com- 



Hip. Yoii should not feed so, but with me alone. 

Bel. If I drink poison by Etealth, is'l not all one t 
Is't not rank (Hiison still with you alone 7 
Nay, say you spied a courtesan, whose so(\ side 
To touch you'd sell your birthright, for one kiss 
Berack'd; 8he'swon,you'resated: ivhat follows this! 
O, then you curse that bawd that tol'd you in. 
The night j you curse your lust, you loathe the sin. 
You loathe her very sight, and ere the day 
Arise, you rise glad when you're stol'n away. 
Even then when you are drunk with all her sweets. 
There's no true pleasure in a strumpet's sheets. 
Women, whom lust so prostitutes to sale, 
Like dancers upon ropes, once seen, are stale. 

Hir. If all the threads of harlots' lives are spun 
So coarse as you would make them, tell me why 
You BO long lov'd the trade? 

Beu If all the threads 
Of harlots' lives he fine as you would make them, 
Why do not you persuade your wife turn whor^^_ 
And all dames else lo fall before that sin ? ^H 
Like an ill husband, though I knew (he same ^^| 
To be my undoing, follow'd I that game. ^^| 

O, when the work of lust had earn'd my bread, ^^ 
To taste it how I trembled, lest each bit, 
£re it went down, should choke me chewing it ! 
My bed secm'd like a cabin hung in hell, 
The bawd hell's porter, and the liquorish wine 
The pander fetch'd was like an easy fine, 
I'or which, methought, I leas'd away my soul j 
And otYentimes even in my (juafting bowl 
Thus said I to myself, I am a whore, 
And have drunk down thus much confusion more. 

Hip. It 


nd -li. 

wo of one trade ne'er love ; no more do you : 
Why are you sharp 'gainst that you once profest ? 

Bn. WI9 dfBtm joa an diat wbielt 70a did ooce 


I tt^aot, Mcing wU» wonn of mdi bad atnQ 
SiC BBJBm €B « luriat bue aooogh. 
NaAw did maka rae, whao I lor'd dtem beat, 
T» bne dMnmon dun thia ; frimiin dis itreet 
A fiir joong aodest dwBMl I did meet, 
Ac Kwd to all n don, when I paw'd bj, 
And I (o all a raren ; emr eje 
TiMt ftOow'd her, went witb a baihfbl glanc^ 
At me ead btdd and jeering connleDance 
Dvtcd.finth scorn ; to her, ai if the had been 
Some tower unvanqniBh'd, wonld tbey [bonnet] 

'Gainat me awohi rumoor hoisted every aail ; 
She, crown'd with reverend praises, passed by them ; 
1, though with face mask'd, could not 'acape the 

For, as if heareo had set strange marks on whores 
Becaate they ahould be pointiog-H locks to man, 
Dreit up in civilest shape a coartesan 
I«ther walk saint-like, noteless, and unknown, 
^(t she's betray'd by some trick of her own. 
"ne harlots therefore wise, they'd be sold dear ; 
For men account them good hut for one year, 
And tlien, like almanacs whose dates are gone, 
^ey are thrown by, and no more look'd upon. 
^^11 therefore backward fall, who will launch 

^^ Hu so foul, for ventures no more worth 7 
^<ut') voyage hath, if not ibia courae, this cross, 
""y ne'er so cheap, your ware comes home with 

^t, shall I sound retreat ? the battle's done : 
^ the world judge which of us two have won. 
Hip, I! 

rd< do in figltt; 1 

av'il bv flwht_ 


Bbi. You ! nay, ihpn, as cowardt 
Wluu b]t blows cannot, shall be Kav'd bj flight. 


Htp. 'Fly to earth's fixed centre ; to the caves 
Of evcrUscing horror I'll pursue ibee, 
Though loaden with sins, even to hell's braxen 

Thuj wisest men turn fools, dotitig on whores. 



An Apattmatt in the Duke'M Patace. 

Enter the Duke, LoDovico, and Orlakdo ditgidted 
as a Serving-man : after ihiM Ikfelicb, Cakolo, 
Abtolfo, Beraldo, and Fohtikell. 

Ob. I beseech your grace, though your eye be 
so piercing as under a poor blue coat" to cull out an 
honest father from an old serving-man, yet, good 
my lord, discover not the plot to any, but only this 
gentleman that in now to be an actor in our ensuing 

Duke. Thou hast thy wish, Orlando, pass un- 

Sforxa* shall only go along with thee. 
To see that warrant serv'd upon thy son. 

LoD. To attach him upon felony for two ped- 
lars, is't not so ? 

Or, Right, my noble knight : those pedlars were 
two knaves of mine ; he fleeced the men before, 

■ ihiemoi] Bee no le, p. 1*6. 

■ tf/arta} " A nuue taken by LodovicD, perlisps, Tot [he 
DCCuion," isyi the l»l ediior of DoiltJey'a (lid Plagi ; but it 
ii evident lh*l he was cilled (like ihe bero of Mauiuger'l 
Duki nf Milan) Lodovico Btvrxt, 


and now be purposes to flay the master. He will 
Tob me ; his teeth water to be nibbling at my gold ; 
but this shall hang him by th' gilla till I pull him 
<m shore. 

J>usE. Away ; ply you the buEinesa. 

Or. Thanks to your grace : but, my good lord, 
for my daughter — — 

Duke. You know what 1 have said. 

Ob. And remember what I have sworn : she's 
moTe honest, on my goul, than one of the Turk's 
wenches, watched by a hundred eunuchs. 

Lop. So she had need, for the Turks make them 

Oft. He'i a Turk ibat makes aoy wonum a whore ; 
he'i no true Christian I'm sure. — I commit [her to] 
your grace. 

Ddek. Infeltce. 

Ikt. Here, air. 

LoD. Sigtiot FHscobaldo 

Ob. Frisking again ? Pacheco. 

LoD. Uds BO, Facheco ; well have some sport 
with this warrant : 'tis to apprehend all suspected 
penons in the house : besides, there's one Hots a 

Cnder, and one madam Horseleech a bawd, that 
ve abused my friend ; those two conies will we 
ferret into the purseneL'' 

Ok. Let me alone for dabbing them o' th' neck : 
w», come. 

LoD. Do ye hear, gallants? meet me anon at 

[£xe«rU LoDOTico and Orlando. 
' fVKMl] " A net, of which the moulh ii drawn together 


OuKE. Th' old fellow sings that note (hoii didst 
Only his tunes are, that she is no whore, 
But that she sent his letters and his gil\s 
Out of a noble triumph o'er his IubI, 
To shew she trampled his assaults in dust. 

Inf. 'Tia a good honest servant, tliat old 

DttKE, I doubt no less. 

Inf. And it may he my husband, 
Because when once this woman was unmask'd. 
He levcll'd all her thoughts, and made theoi fit. 
Now he'd mar all again, to try his wil. 

DvKE. It may be so too, for to turn a harlot 
Honest, it must be by strong antidotes ; 
'Tis rare, as to sec panthers change their spots : 
And when she's once a star bx'd and shines bright, 
Though 'twere impiety then to dim her light. 
Because we see such lapers seldom bum. 
Yet 'tis the pride and glory of some men 
To change her to a blazing star agcn,' 
And it may be Hippolito does no more. — 
It cannot be but you're acquainted all 
With that same madness of our son-in-law. 
That dotes so on a courtesan. 

All Yes, my lord. 

Car. All the city thinks he's a whoremonger. 

Asi. Yet I warrant he'll swear no man marks 

Bbe. 'Tis like BO ; for when a man goes a wench- 
ing, is as if he had a strong slinking breath, every 
one smells him out, yet he feels it not, though it be 
ranker than the sweat of sixteen bearwarderR. 

Ddkb. I doubt then you have all those stinking 
breaths ; 
You might be all smelt out. 

ajfcn] See i 

c, p. 182. 

Car. Troth, my lord, f think we are all as you 
lis* been in your youth when yau went a-maying ; 
we all love to hear the cuckoo aing upon other 
loen's trees. 

DiTKE. It's well yet you confess; — but, girl, thy bed 
Shall not be parted with a courtesan; — ■ 

Tis strange, I 

No frown of mine, no frown of tbe poor lady, I 
.My abus'd child, his wife, no care of fame, I 

'^f honour, heaven, or hell, no, nut that name 

common strumpet, can affright, or woo him 
To abandon her ; the harlot does undo him ; 
Sbe bM bewitch'd him, robb'd him of hia shape, 
Tom'd him into s beast, his reason's lost ; 
Yon see he looks wild, does he not t 

Car. I hs' noted 
Mew mooDS in's &ce, my lord, all full of change. 

DuxK. He's no more like unto Hippolito 
Thtn dead men are to living ; never sleeps, 
Oi if be do, it's dreams; and in those dreams 
His arms work, and then cries, Sweet — what's her 

What's the drab's name 7 

A>T. In troth, my lord, I know not; 
1 know no drabs, not I. 

Ddkb. O, Bellafront 

And catching her fast, cries. My Bellafront ! 

Cas. a drench that's able to kill a horse cannot 
m this disease of smock-smelling, my lord, if it 
Uve once eaten deep. 

Ddxe. Ill try all physic, and this medicine first : 
1 We directed warrants strong and peremptory 
To purge our city Milan, and to cure 
The outward parts, the suburbs, for the attaching 
Of bU those women who, like gold, want weight : 
Cities, like ships, should have no idle freight. 


Cak. No, my lord, and light wenches are no idle 
freight: but what's your grace's reach in this ? 
Ddkb. This, Carolo. If she whom my son dotes 

Be in that muster-book*^ enroll'd, he'll shame 
Ever t' approach one of such noted name. 

Car. But say she be not ? 

Ddke. Yet on harlots' heads 
New laws shall fall so heavy, and such blows sfaall 
Give to those that haunt them, that HippoUto, 
If not for fear of law, for love to her, 
If he love truly, shall her bed forbear. 

Car. Attach all the light heels i' th' city, and 
clap 'em up? why, my lord, you dive into a well 
unsearchable : all the whores within the walls, and 
without the walls ? I would not be he should 
meddle with them for ten such dukedoms ; the 
army that you speak on is able to fill aU the prisons 
within this city, and to leave not a drinking loom 
in any tavern besides. 

Ddkb. Those only shall be caught that are of 
note ; 
Harlots in each street flow ; 
The fish being thus i' th' net, ourself will sit. 
And with eye most severe dispose of it. — 
Come, girl. \_Exettnt Duke and Imfelice. 

Car. Arraign the poor whore[s] I 

AsT. I'll not miss that sessions. 

FoN. Nor I. 

Ber. Nor 1, though 1 hold up my hand there 
myself. [^Exeunt. 

' muiter-boek^ Old ed. " maiter-booke." 


Mat, Let who will come, my noble chevalier, I 
can but play the kind hosi, and bid 'em welcomB. 

LuD. SVe'Il trouble your house, Matheo, but H 
Dutchmen do in btverns ; drink, be merry, and bo 

Oa. Indeed, if you be right Dutchmen, if foo 
fall to drinkin|;r, you must be gone. 

Mat. The worst is. my wile is not at home ; but 
mH &y high, my generous kuight, for all that: 
there's no music when a woman is in the consort.'' 

Ok. No, for she's like a pair of virginals,* always 
irith jacks at her tail. 

Enter Astolio, Cabolo, Bebaloo, and Pontinell, 

LoD. See, the covey is sprung. 

C ' A [Save you, gallants. 

Mat. Happily encountered, sweet hlooda. 

LoD. Gentlemen, you all know signor Candido 
the linen-draper, he that's more patient than & 
btowD baker upon the day when he beats his oven, 
ind has forty scolds about him. 

C* ' *c I ^^'' ^* ^^ovf him all ; what of him I 

LoD. Would it not be a good fit of mirth to make 

■ piece of English cloth of him, and to stretch him 


on the tenters till the threads of his own natural 
humour crack, by making him drink healths, to- 
bacco/ dance, sing bawdy songs, or to run any 
bias according as we think good to cast him ? 

Car. 'Twere a morris-dance worth the seeing. 

AsT. But the old fox is so crafty, we shall hardly 
hunt [him] out of his den. 

Mat. To that train I ha* given fire already ; 
and the hook to draw him hither is to see certain 
pieces of lawn which I told him I have to sell, and 
indeed have such. — Fetch them down, Pacheco. 

Or. Yes, sir, I'm your water-spaniel, and will 
fetch any thing — but I'll fetch one dish of meat 
anon shall turn your stomach, and that's a constable. 

[^fuie, and exit^ 

Enter Bots, ushering in Mistress Horseleech. 


Ber. [How now ? how now ? 


Car. What galley-foist^ is this ? 

LoD. Peace ; two dishes of stewed prunes,^ a 
bawd and a pander. — My worthy lieutenant Bots, 
why, now I see thou'rt a man of thy word ; wel- 
come. — Welcome, mistress Horseleech. — Pray, gen- 
tlemen, salute this reverend matron. 

Mis. H. Thanks to all your worships. 

LoD. I bade a drawer send in wine too : did none 
come along with thee, grannam, but the lieutenant ? 

Mis. H. None came along with me but Bots, if 
it like your worship. 

' drink healths, tobacco, &c.] *' To drink tobacco was a com- 
mon phrase for smoking it." Reed. 

' gaUey 'foist'} See note, vol. ii. p. 531. 

^ stewed prunes} A dish very common in brothels : le 
Steevens's elaborate note on First Pari qf Henry IV,, act if 
sc. S — Malone's Shakespeare (by Bosweil), voL xvL p. 345. 

. Bom. Wbo ths pox •honld come aloog with too 

Jhtar tmo Fmtaen witk mm. 

cS^ fc.}° ^" ' "*«'' ^■ 
' loo. Aie yon eome t tbu'i welL 

Hat. Hoo'i ordnUMo able to nek a city.' 

LoD. Come, moot, nod thii inventorj. 

Rut v. Imfnmt, a pottle of Greek wine, « 
potde of Peter -umeeiM,' a pottle of Chamko,' 
and a pottle of Leatica.> 

LoD. You're paid T 

■ Hon*! ardmaita ablr It nek a city] " Bo FaUtiff, on the 
Wine occanon, in the Firil Part qf Henry If., layi, ■ there'! 
Ou win taek a city.' " Steevens. 

' Ptter-Mometnt] One of the leTeral dii^n^'^^* ""der which 
tbe word Ptdni-Ximeiu$ is found in out early milert. " The 
Pcdro-XinieneB • ■ ■ receiree iti name from a gmpe which 
M nid to bare been imported from the banks of the Rhine 
l^ an individiul called Pedro Simtm (corrupted to Ximen, or 
£mene*), and ia one of the richeil and moat delicate of the 
Malaga wine*, reaemblingvery much the malm«eyofPal«r«te." 
Henderaon'a Hitt. e/jfnc. and Mod. tViaei, p. 1S3. 

^ CkanUca'] Or CAorweo. — " Shakapeare and other dramatic 

vrlter* mention a wine called CAorneca Accordii^ to 

llr. Steeretii, the appellation ii derived ^om a viltage near 
Liibon. There are, in fact, two Tillage* in Ibal neighbour- 
hood, which take the name otClianitca: the one situated about 
t leagrne and a half above the town of Lisbon, the other near 
the coBit, between Collarei and CarcaTellos. We iball, there- 
bre, probably not err much, if we refer the wine in queition to 
(be Uft-mentioned territory." Ibid. p. 306. 

' Ltalica] Old ed. " Zialuca" — a miiprint for Lealica, a not 
Ucommon form (aee Fhilocathimiita, I63S, p. 48) of the word 
"Jltatieo, or red nuicadine, which ia pruducedin the bighen 
perfection at Hontepulciano, between Sienna and the Papal 
•ate; at Monte Citini, &c. . . . and of which the name in 
Mme measure oipmiei the rich quality (it ia Dbvioualy de- 
rired fiota 4Awfi>, loli txpoia) ; has a brilliant purple cdour, 
Ud a liucious aromatic flarour," &c Ibid. p. 237. 



Skc. v. Yes, sir. lExeimt I'hUnert. 

Mat. So shall some of us be anon, 1 fear. 

BoTs. Here's a hot day towards:' but, zounds, 

liis is the life out of nhich a soldier sucks sncet- 

nhen this artillery goes off roundly, 

must drop to the ground 

Baker, and basilisk."' 

LoD. Give fire, Heuienai 

BoTs. So, so, mu&t I 

breach 1 To you all, galla 

, demi- cannon. 

first upon the 


Car., <^c.' 

It's hard, Bots, if we pejiper n 
as Kell as you pepper us. 

Enter Candido, 


LoD. My noble li 
welcome, old lad ! 

Mat. You're well 

Can. These lawn: 

Mat. Presently ; my man is gooe for them. We 
ha' rigged a fieet, you see, here, to saU about the 

Can. a dangerous voyage, sailing in such ships. 

Bots. There's no casting overboard yet. 

LoD. Because you are an old lady, I will have 
you be acq.uaiuted with this grave citizen ; pray, 
bestow your lips upon him, and bid him welcome. 

Mis. H. Any citizen shall he most welcome to 
me. — I have used to buy ware at your shop. 

Can. It may be so, good madam. 

Mis. H. Your prentices know my dealings well. 
I trust your good wife be in good case : if it please 

' loBiardii L e. in a lUle of prepnration, at hand. 
' taker, baiitiik^ Small pitcea of ordnance. 
' All., Car., Ifc.] One of iIie many Bpeechei to whtc 
old eiL ii the preUx " Omtiii." 



[ you, bear her s tekmi fiao aj Hft, bf word ol 
I mouth. [JDmm Mm. 

I Can. I pray, no more; IbrMOth, "tia vnj wdl; 
L Indeed I love no gwaetmemtt. -Sh'tM > bnuli 
F Sdnks vorsc than fiftj; ptdeeitB. [Jriie.}'^&r, a 
' word ; 

iMt. A woman of a good booM and at noeot ; 

Cam. AbftwdF— %,niatMlliaDce.atidBMyoiir 

Some ollieT thna. 

Mat. Steal oat of rocb company t Pacheco, my 
man, ia but gone for 'em. — Lieutenant Bou, drink 
to this worthy old fellow, and teach him to fly 

Ijod. \ Swa^er, and make him do't on his 

Ait., 4''^. J knees. 

Cax. How, Bots ? now, bless me, what do I with 
No wine, in sooth, no wine, good master Bots. 

Bots. Grey-beard, goat's- pizzle, 'tis a health: 
have this in your guts, or this there [touching hit 
imord] : I will sing a bawdy song, sir, because your 
ve^uice face is melancholy, to make liquor go 
down glib. Will you fall on your marrow-bones, 
and pledge this health ? 'tis to my mistress, a 

Cax. Here's ratsbane upon ratsbane. — Master 
I pray, sir, pardon me : you are a soldier, 
Preta me not to this service ; I am old, 
And shoot not in such pot-guns. 

Bots. Cap,' I'll teach you. 

* Ci^} i e. flst-cap : lee note, p. £8. 



Can. To drink healths is to drink sickness. — 
Pray rescue me. 

BoTs. Zounds, who dare ? 

A ' o [ We shall ha' stabbing then. 

Can. I ha* reckonings to cast up, good master 

BoTS. This will make you cast 'em up better. 
LoD. Why does your hand shake so ? 
Can. The palsy, signors, danceth in my blood. 
BoTs. Pipe with a pox, sir, then, or I'll make 

your blood dance 

Can. Hold, hold, good master Bots, I drink. 


A ' o f To whom ? 
A ST., q-c.) 

Can. To the old countess there. [_Drinks. 

Mis. H. To me, old boy ? — This is he that never 
drunk wine ! — Once again to't. 

Can. With much ado the poison is got down, 
Though I can scarce get up ; never before 
Drank I a whore's health, nor will never more. 

Re-enter Orlando with lawns. 
Mat. Hast been at gallows ? 

f Kneels"] " This [common] custom of kneeling and drink- 
ing of healths* kindled the wrath of various puritanical writers. 
Stubbes, in his Anatomy qf Abutet, tells a story of a man in 
Almaine, who, drinking a health to his Creator on his knees, 
was fixed for ever like a statue, which horses could not draw 
nor fire burn. R. Junius, in his Drunkard!'* Character, 1688, 
speaks of * a Lincolnshire man, well known, that in his cups 
drank a health to the devil, who had no sooner drank it off, 
but he fell down dead.' < To mend the matter (he says else- 
where), lest Satan should want his due reverence, these wine- 
worshippers will be at it on their knees, especially if they 
drink a great man's health,' p. 313." Reed. 

Or- Yes, sir, for I make account to suffer io-4^f 

Mat. Look, signor ; here's the commodity. 

Can. Your price ? 

Mat. Thu».i 

Cas. No, too dear : tlius. 

Mat. No? O fie, ^ou must fly higher ; yet Ulie 
'era home ; trifles shall not make ub quarrel ; wt^ 
agree, you shall have them, and a pepnynorUi; I'D 
fetch money at your shop. 

Can. Be it so, good signor; send me going. . 

Mat. Going? — A deep bowl of wine for signor 

Oft. He would be going. 

Cah. Ill rather stay than go so : stop your bowl. 

Enter Conttahle and BiltmenJ 
LoD. How now 7 

BoTs. Is't Shrove Tuesday,' that these ghosts 

* TIau . . . fJkiu] How they iodicated the price I know not. 
" "■ ■ ' ' arried billi (a lort of pikes 

aacienClj the weapons of 

I Iktit ghaitt aalk'] " From this 
punge, I appreiieaa ii nai formerl; a cuatom for Ibe peace- 
offloera to make search after women of ill fame on that day, 
•nd to confine them during (he aeaaon of Lent. So Seniuidicy 
nji, in MierKOtmui, ' But not> welcome a cart, or a Shrove 
littia^t tragedy,' " Reso. " The progreas of the con- 
ttablea on Sbrove Tundsy wai for the purpoie of checking 
the oatragea of the apprrnticei. See Taylor'a Jack-a-Ltttt, 
l\S." O. QllCHRT*T. DemoliBhin^ houiea of had fame waa 
one of the amusements of the apprenricei on Shrove Tuesday 
(mc my note on Webater'i Wmki, vol. iii. p. 22S) ; and Iheir 
riots no doubt required the check of the constable and his 
attendants : but it appeals also, that on the lame day an 
official learch wm made for hrolbel- keeper*, who were either 
forthwith csrted, oi confined during Lent ; vide Nares'a Clow, 
in T. Shrtniag. 

VOL. 111. V 

218 THE SECO)n> FAKt Of 

Mat. What's your btuinesi, sirt 

Con. From the duke : you are the man we look 
for, aignor ; I have warrant here from the duke to 
apprehend you upon felony for robbing two pedlars : 
I charge you i' th' duke's name go quickly. 

Mat. Is the wind turned f well : this is that old 
wolf my father-in-law. — Seek out your iDiatreB*, 

Ok. Yes, sir. — As ahaftv by piecing are made 
So shall thy life be straighten'd by this wrong. 

\_Ande, and extl. 

4 "*' . I In troth, we are sorry. 

Mat. Brave men must be crost ; pish, it's but 
fortune's dice roving against me. — Come, sir, pray 
use me like a gentleman ; let me not be carried 
through the streets like a pageant. 

Con. If these gentlemen please, you shall go 
along with them. 

^°' 1 Be't so ■ come 
AsT., Jj-c.J 

Con. What are you, sir t 

BoTS. I, sir? sometimes a figure, sometimes a 
cipher, as the state has occasion to cast up her 
accounts : I'm a soldier. 

Con. Your name ia Bots, is't not 1 

BoTs. Bots is my name ; Bots is known to this 

Con. I know you ^re, sir. — What's she ? 

Bots. A gentlewoman, my mother. 

Con. Take 'em both along. 

Bots. Me, sir?' 

■ Ml, lir] " Thia ' Me, lir?' and the Billmen'* echo of it 
in ihe old copy ore printed ' Me, Sirrr)' to indicate, perhapi, 
the manner in which Bots spoke it." Collier. 

Bill. And, a: 

Cos. If be swagger, i 

BfiTs. Gentlemen, gcntlei 

Loo. Ta the garden-house, 
with you ? 

CoK. To Bridewell with 'cm. 

BoTs. You 

Cos. Better than a challenge ; I've 
my nork, sir. 

Lou. We'll go before. 

Cos. Pray, do. — 

\_Exettnl Matueo mth Lou., Ast., 

uml Font. ; BoTs and Mis. H. n'ith Biltmcr,. 
Who, aignor Candido T a citizen 
Of jrooT d^ree consorted thus, and revelling 
In >ach a hoiue ? 

Cam. Why, sir, what house, I pray? 

Cox. Lewd, and defam'd. 

Cak. Is't *o f thanks, sir : I'm gone. 

Con. What ha»e you there ? 

Can. Lawns which I bought, sir, of the gentle- 
That keeps the house. 

Con. And I have warrant here 
To search for such stoln ware : these lawns are 

Cax. Indeed! 

Con. So he's the thief, you the receiver : 
I'm sorry for this chance, I must commit you. 

Car. Me, sir? for what? 

Com. These goods are found upon you, 
And you must anawer't. 

Cam. Must I ao ? 

Com. Most certain. 

Cam. I'll send for hail. 

Coy. I dart not : yet, 
Yov are a dtizai of worth, jo« ^afl not 
Be made a pomdn^ stock, Imi wichoat gvard 
Paw odI J with iinniel£ 

Cam. To BrideWell too ? 

Com. No remedj. 

Cav. Yes, padenee : being not mad, 
Thej had me oooe to Bedlam : now Fm drawn 
To Bridewell, loring no whores. 

Com. You will hnj lawn ! [ExemU. 


A Street. 

Enter on one tide Hippolito, on the other Lodotico, 
AsTOLFO, Carolo, Beraldo, and Fontikbll. 

LoD. Yonder's the lord Hippolito ; by any means 
leave him and me together; now will I tiirn him 
to a madman. 

[Exeunt all except Hippolito and Lodoyico. 
LoD. I ha' strange news to tell you. 
Hip. What are they? 
LoD. Your mare's i' th' pound. 
Hip. How's this ? 

LoD. Your nightingale is in a lime-bush. 
Hip. Ha! 

LoD. Your puritanical Honest Whore sits in a 
blue gown." 

** iits in a blue gown] "It appears from a passage in Fromos 
and Cassandra [and from a dozen other passages in various 
writers], that a blue goum was the habit in which a strumpet 

Iion. Do jon Iommt Ae liriek- h wMB of ewligt- 
tio^ ij ^ imMids datt rmam by Uilan? Ae 
■dwJ wfcwB ihajfwaoMW ao IbMct wJl hmt Of 

Hop. IkaowkBot 

Loik. A»j MW A«t hia borae offlce ofeoiwtrtJf, 
ac nj woHiB* dnt bM bUen fivoi « iMwie-load to 
• cart-load, or like la old ban Ifaot ba« bad aom 
bat rattea tgm m bei ant, can direct jroa to ber : 
Ibere job s!^ Me your punk amoogst her back- 

There you may have her at your will. 
For there she beats chalk, or grinds in the mill,* 
With a whip, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle. 
Ab, little monkey ! 

Hip. What rt^e durat serve that warrant, know- 
ing 1 lov'd her 7 

LoD. Some worshipful rascal, I lay my life. 

Hip. I'll beat the lodgings down about their ears 
That are her keepers. 

LoD. So you may bring an old house over her 

did penanee. Bo too io TAc Norllurn Latt, 1633, ' All the 
good you iDtended inc vaa a tockram coif, a hlue gnm, ■ 
wheel,' &e. The akiel, at weU u the btiu jDun, are nen- 
tioned in auhaequent iceiies of thii comedy." Steetini. 

' any vtmmt, &c] i. e. that baa been carted, and pelted 
with rattcD eggi. 

* btatt chalk, or grindi in tht miU] " To beat chalk, g;riDd !□ 
milli, nu*e aand and gravel, and make lime, were among (he 
emploTineala aaiigned for va^anta who were committed to 
BndewelL See Ordtrt appdmled lo bt itecultd in the CUlit <^ 
Lt»ititt }" "tthig ri/gti and idit ptrmu to vetkt, and far n- 
Utf* rf tht pQtrt. Printed hf Hugh Singleton." Rbed. 

f' Mi m 


Hip. m to her, 
111 to her, stood arm'd fiends to gvnd the doors ! 


LoD. O me, what monsters are men made by 

whores ! 

If this false fire do kindle him, there's one fiiggot 

More to ttie bonfire. Now to my Bridewell-birds ; 

What song wfll they sing f [Exit. 


An Apartment in BridewelL 

Enter Duke, Infelice, Carolo, Astolfo, Beraldo, 
Pontine LL, and several Masters of BridewelL 

Duke. Your Bridewell ?7 that the name? for 
beauty, strength, 
Capacity and form of ancient building, 

^ Your Bridewell^ &c.] " We have here a curioui ipedmen 
of the license which ancient writers used to allow themselyes 
of introducing facts and circumstances peculiar to one country 
into another. Every thing here said of Bridewell is appli- 
cable to the house of Correction which goes by diat name in 
London. Changing the names of the duke and his ion to 
those of Henry the Eighth and Edward the Sixth, all the 
events mentioned will be found to have happened in the Eng^ 
lish Bridewell. The situation of the place is also the same. In 
the time of Henry the Eighth princes were lodged there ; part 
of it being built in the year 1522, for the reception of Charles 
the Fifth, whose nobles resided in it. In 1528, Cardinal 
Campeius had his first audience there; and after Henry's 
death, Edward the Sixth, in the seventh year of his reign, 
1552, gave to the citizens of London this his palace for the 
purposes above mentioned. To complete the parallel, it was 
endowed with land, late belonging to the Savoy, to the amount 
of 700 marks a-year, with all the bedding and furniture of that 
hospital. See Stowe's Survey^ Strype's edit 1721, vol. i. p. 264. 
There is also the like anachronism in the First Fart of this 
play, concerning Bethlem Hospital." Reed. 

Beridei Ae rmi's na^\eaAood, few Iiobmi 

And wjA onr daks did act> of itBte wmmmM 
Hem Att giBM cvdioal had fim andience, 
ne gnra C i MiyaB ; that daks deid. kn • 
That ftnMMM Bmwei gara free p 
Of duB kit pHMe to the citiieiu, 
To be the poor nao** wardbouse, and eiidaw*d it 
Wiik landa to tk* valoe of mtoi kondred markfal' 
Witk aD d>e beddti^^ and tlie Inrnitare. once proper, 
Aa the lands then were, to an hoi^lal 
Belonging to a duke of Savoy. Thua 
Fortune can tou the world ; a prince's court 
Is thus a prison now. 

Ddke. 'Tis fortune's sport : 
These changes common are ; the wheel of fate 
Turns kingdoms up, til] they fall desolste. 
But how are these seven hundred marks by th' year 
Employ'd in this your workhouse 7 

First Mas. War and peace 
Feed both upon those lands : when the iron doors 
Of war* burst open, from this bouse are sent 
Men fumish'd in all martial complement. 
The moon hath through her bow scarce drawn to 

th' head, 
Like to twelve silver arrows, all the months, 
Since sixteen hundred soldiers went aboard. 
Here providence and charity play such parts, 
The house is like a very school of arts ; 
For when our soldiers, like ships driven from sea, 
With ribs all broken and with tatter'd sides. 
Cast anchor here again, their ragged backs 

' aarfa] See aote, p. lOS. • trar] Old ed. « wutm." 


How often do we cover ! that, like men. 
They may be sent to their own homes agen.* 
All here are but one swarm of bees, and strive 
To bring with wearied thighs honey to the hive. 
The sturdy beggar and the laxy lown 
Gets here hard hands or lac'd correction. 
The vagabond grows staid, and learns t' obey ; 
The drone is beaten well, and sent away. 
As other prisons are, some for the thie^ 
Some by which undone credit gets relief 
From bridled debtors, others for the poor ; 
So this is for the bawd, the rogue, and whore. 

Car. An excellent team of horse ! 

First Mas. Nor is it seen 
That the whip draws blood here, to cool the spleen 
Of any rugged bencher, nor does offence 
Feel smart on^ spiteful or rash evidence ; 
But pregnant testimony forth must stand 
Ere justice leave them in the beadle's hand. 
As iron, on the anvil are they laid. 
Not to take blows alone, but to be made 
And fashion'd to some charitable use. 

Duke. Thus wholesom'st laws spring from the 
worst abuse. 

Enter Orlando disguised cts a Serving'fnanf and^ 


Bel. Let mercy touch your heart-strings, gra- 
cious lord. 
That it may sound like music in the ear 
Of a man desperate, being i' th* hands of law ! 

Duke. His name ? 

Bel. Matheo. 

• agen] See note, p. 182. ^ on] Old ed. " or." 

« and] Old ed. " before." 

TBI Hcnnn whokk. 335 

Ddxi. For a robbery f 
Where ii be r' 

Bu, In thii bouH. 

DoEt. Fetcb yon him bither, — 

[Exemit Second Marier and Biiurumr. 
Ii diia die party f 

Oi. Thu is the ben, my lord, that the cock with 
die kwdhr emnbi your Mn-in-law, would crow over 
and tread. 

DuKX. Are your two HrvaDta ready f 

Oa. My two pedlars are packed together, my 
good lord. 

DuKB. Til well : this day in judgment shall be 

Vice, like a wound lanc'd, mends by punishment. 

Inf. Let me be gone, my lord, or stand unseen ; 
Tis rare when a judge strikes, and that nono die. 
And 'tis unfit then women should be by. 

First Mas. We'll place you, lady, in some pri- 
vate room. 

Inf. Pray do so. 

[Exil milh Firtt Matter, mho pretenlly retums, 

Oa. Thus nice dames swear, it is unfit their eyes 
Should view men carv'd up for anatomies,* 
Yet they'll see all, so they may stand unseen : 
Many women sure will sin belund a screen. 

Enter Lodotico. 
IiOD. Your son, the lord Hippolito, is enter'd. 

" And route from sleep that fell aHalomy." 

Sbskeipeare'i King John, set UL sc. 4. 


Duke. Tell him we wish his presence. A word, 
Sforza '/ 
On what wings flew he hither T 

LoD. These ; I told him his lark whom he loved 
was a Bridewell-bird; he's mad that this cage should 
hold her, and is come to let her oat. 

Duke. Tis excellent : away, go call him hither. 

[Emt LoDOVico. 

Re-enter on one side Second Master and Bbllaproitt, 
mUh Matbeo and Constable ; on the others Lodo- 
vico with HiPPOLiTO. Orlando goes out and re- 
turns with two of his servants disguised as pedlars, 

Duke. You are to us a stranger, worthy lord ; 
Tin strange to see you here. 

Hip. It is most fit. 
That where the sun goes, atomies ^ follow it. 

Duke. Atomies neither shape nor honour bear : 
Be you yourself, a sunbeam to shine clear. — 
Is this the gentleman ? stand forth and hear 
Your accusation. 

Mat. I'll hear none ; I fly high in that : rather 
than kites shall seize upon me, and pick out mine 
eyes to my face, I'll strike my talons diorough mine 
own heart first, and spit my blood in theirs. I am 
here for shriving those two fools of their sinful 
pack : when those jackdaws have cawed over me, 
then must I cry guilty, or not guilty ; the law has 
work enough already, and therefore I'll put no 
work of mine into his hands ; the hangman shall 
ha't first : I did pluck those ganders, did rob them. 

Duke. 'Tis well done to confess. 

' Sforza] Sec note, p. 206. 
t atomies'] i. e. atoms. 

Ma*. ConftM and be Inngcd, and then I fly 
fci|hj iiTi mil 1 f ifaet fin- &ti a gsBowBii tM 
wont rab that a good bowler can nwet with ; I 
■UHiM e d agMetwwAaport, riw lliia sight I had 
playad Aepaitof atnie eoaia these dan, andone 
■U &ther-m-law ; with him would I ha' ran at 
Ibm fta^ and eoeae orer his gold, ihon^ I bad 
hme h» aeA fi)>*t : bat the poor salmao-troat it 
■own Ae net. 

Hit. And now dte law iinut tead yon to fly 

Mat. Bight, my lord, and thai may yon fly low ; 
no more words : — a mouse, mum, you are stopt. 

Bbk. Be good to my poor husband, dear my 

Hat. Ass! 
Why shouldat tbou pray them to be good to me, 
When no man here is good to one another 7 

Duke. Did any hand work in tUs theft but 

Mat. O yes, my lord, yes : the hangman has 
never one son at a birth, his children always come 
by couples i though I cannot give the old dc^ my 
father a bone to gnaw, the daughter shsll be sure 
of a cboke-pear. Yes, my lord, there was one more 
that fiddled my fine pedlars, and that was my wife. 

Bkl. Alas, 1 1 

Ok. O everfauting, supernstural, superlative vil- 
lain ! [/f mie. 

iIb%c } ^°" "''"'^' ****''«'' ^ 

Hip. Sure it cannot be. 

Mat. O, sir, you love no quarters of mutton 
that hang up, you love none but whole mutton. 
She let the robbery, I performed it ; she spurred 
me on, I galloped away. 


Oe. My lords 

Bel. My lords — fellow, give me speech — if my 
poor life 
May ransom thine, I yield it to the law. 
Thou hurt'st thy soul, yet wip'st off no offence, 
By casting blots Qpon my innocence : 
Let not these spare me, but tell truth : no, see 
Who slips his neck out of the misery, 
Though not out of the mischief: let thy servant. 
That shar'd in this base act, accuse me here : 
Why should my husband perish, he go clear T 

Ob. a good child, hang thine own father t 


DvKE. Old fellow, was thy hand in too t 

Or. My hand was in the pie, my lord, 1 confess 
it ; my mistress, I see, will bring me to the gal- 
lows, and so leave me ; hut I'll not leave het so : 
I had rather hang in a woman's company than in a 
man's ; because if we should go to hell together, I 
should scarce be letten in, for all the devils are 
afraid to have any women come amongst them ; as 
I am true thief, she neither consented to this felony 
nor knew of it. 

Duke. What fury prompts thee on to kill thy 

Mat. Jt's my humour, sir ; 'tis a foolish bagpipe 
that I make myself merry with : why should I eat 
hemp-seed at the hangman's thirteenpence-half- 
penny ordinary, and have this whore laugh at me 
as I swing, as I totter ? 

Duke. Is she a whore ? 

Mat. a sixpenny mutton pasty i* for any to cut 

Oa. Ah, toad, toad, toad .' [Aside. 

** mulloH patti/} Set Dote, p. 102. 

Mat. a barber's citlern' for every serving-n 
to play upon : that lord your son knows it. 
HiF. I, sir 7 am 1 her bawd then 1 
Mat. No, sir, but siie's your whore then. 
Or. Yea, spider, dost catch at great flies ? 

Htp. My whore ? 

Mat. I cannot talk, sir, and tell of your rems, 
and your rees, and your whirligigs and devices, 
— but, my lord, I found 'em like sparrows in one 
nest, billing tO};cther, and bulling of me : I took 
'em in bed, was ready to kili him, was up to stab 

Hir. Close (hy rank jaws ; — pardon rne, I am 

Tbou art a villain, a malicious devil ! 
Deep as the place nhere thou art lost, thou liest ! 
Since I am thus far got into this storm, 
ill through, and thou shalt see I'll through un- 
touch 'd, 
When thou shalt perish in it. 

Re-enter IiirELicE. 

InF. Tis my cue 
To enter now, — Room, let my prize be play'dN 
I ha' lurk'd in clouds, yet heard what all have said : 
What jury more can prove sh'as wrong'd my bed 
Than her own husband ? she must be punished ; 
I challenge law, my lord ; letters, and gold, 
And jewels from my lord that woman took. 

Hip. Against that black-mouth'd devil, 'gainst 
letters and gold, 
And 'gainst a jealous wife, I do uphold 

' A harber'i cillim] See note, vol. i. p. 174. 
1 priubtplay-d] See note, p. 86. 
TOL. 111. X 


I TbM, thoo^ tvtm't tUnrntr 

*d down, u-mpt her 

Beu Vhu ahall I (sj t 

Ok. rrAnorn^ cf ktM £tg%iMej Say OMm art 
not a ■bore, ami llut's more ttuui fifteen aromea 
aiDongtt Bvr Imndred dare racar witbont lying : 
ilii« sbolt thou taT — no, let me say't for thee — thy 
hu«band'« a knaTC, this lard'i an btnesi man ; tbou 
art no punk, this lady's a right lady; Pacheco is a 
thief a* bi« macter is, but old Orlando is as inie a 
man as ihy father is. — 1 ba' Been yon fly high, sir, 
and I ba' seen you fly loir, lir ; and to keep you 
from the uallows, sir, a blue coat have I frorn, aitd 
a thief did 1 turn ; mine own men are the pedlan : 
my twenty pound did fly high, sir, your wile's 
gown did fly low, sir: whitber fly you now, air? 
you ba' scaped the gallows, to tbe devil you &y 
next, sir. — Am I right, my liege ? 

DvKH. YouT father has tbe true physician plsy'd. 

Mat. And I am now bis patient, 

Hu'. And be ao «iill : 
Tin a Kood sign when our cheeks blush at ilL 

CuN. Tbe linen-draper, signor Candldo, 
He whom the city terms the patient man, 
I* likewise here for buying of those lawns 
Ttio pcdinr* lo»t. 

Inf. AUs, good Candldo ! 

Duke. Fetch him [exit Constablt] : and when 
these payments up are cast, 
Wojgb out your light gold, but let's have them last. 

^nfer Cakdivo with Conilablc, mho 


In Dridewtll, Candido ? 

prtstnttif gott^^A 

Cak. Yes, my good lord. 

DuEE. What make you here ? 

Can. My lord, nhat make you here 1 

Duke. I'm here to save right, and to drive wrong 

Cak. And I to bear wrong liere with patience. 

DoKE. You ha' bought stoln goods. 

Can. So they do say, my lord ; 
Yet bought I them upon a gentleman's word ; 
And I imagine now, aa T thought then. 
That there be thieves, but no thieves gentlemen. 

Hip. Your credit's crack'd being here. 

Can. No more than gold 
Being cnck'd, which does hit eatimatioii bold, 
I was in Bedlam once, but waa I mad T 
Tbey tnadn me pledge whores' healths, but am I bad 
Because I'm with bad people ? 

DuKZ. Well, stand by : 
If yon take wrong, we'll cure the injury. 

Re-enter Coiutable, after him Bots, then Iko Beadles, 

one ttilh hemp, the other witk a beetle.'^ 
Stay, stay : what's he ? a priaoner 1 

Com. Yes, my lord. 

Hip. He seems a soldier. 

BoTi. I am what I seem, sir, one of fortune's 
bastards, a soldier and a gentleman, and am brought 
in here with master constable's band of billmen,' 
because they face me down that I live, like those 
that keep bowling-alleys, by the sins of the people, 
in being a squire of the body.™ 

' a batkl " A miUeC" Reed. See ipMch of Fint Hal- 
ter, p. 233L > biUmim] See DOte, p. 217. 

■ atguire qf 1^4 body'] "Amuire of the body, layi Mr.Su«- 
Ttiis (note OD the Firif Part of Hmru /K)— [Milone'« S)iakf 
ftan (br Botwell), vol. ivi. p. 191]— ngnifled, origioallr. 

Hip, O, an apple-Bquire." 

BoTB. Yes, sir. that degree of scurvy squires, t 
that I am maintained by the best part that is com- 
monly in a woman, by the worst players of those 
parts ; but I um known to all this company. 

LoD. My lord, 'tis true, we all knon' him, 'tis 
lieutenant Bats. 

DiTKE. Dots ? — And where ha' you served, Bols ? 

BoTs. In most of your hottest services in the Low 
Countries: at the Groyne 1 wax wounded in this 
thigh, and halted upon't, but 'tia now sound ; in 
Cleveland I missed but little having the bridge of my 
nose broken down with two great stones as I was 
scaling a fort : 1 ha' been tried, sit, too, in Guelder- 
land, and scaped hardly there from being blown 
up ai a breach ; I was fired, and lay i' th' surgeon's 
hands for't till the fall of the leaf following. 

Hip. All this may be, and yet you no soldier. 

BoTS. No soldier, sir ? 1 hope these are services 
that your proudest commanders do venture uponi 
and never come off sometimes. 

[he Httendaat on a knight, [he person who bare his bead- 
piece, BpesT, aod ihield. Ic sfterwards became a cam lertn 
for a pimp, sod ii lo used here." Reed. So alio B. Joiuon 
uica the single word jfuin for pimp or procurer: (lee GiSbrd's 
note on Ev/iy ifan in hia Humnur—IFBrhi, vol. i. p. 1S2.) See 
also our author's Fair Quarref, bci iv. sc. 4. 

■ apple-iquire'] In a note on IlaJJ-t Salirri, 1824. p. 8, the 
editor remarks : " This cant phrase bin been erroneously ex- 
plained as meaoing a pander or pimp. The fact is, tbal it 
meant wliat is In modern slaog caUed afiath-man: a iqain of 
Me body had the same meaning;." No doubt one of its mean- 
ings t>u a kept gallant ; but it generally signifies, ai in our 
text, a pimp. Greene, enumerating the profeuori of the 
*' sacking law," mentions " Tbe Bamii if a man, an Apple 
•qvim." Nolablr DiiamtTy qf Cootenagt, 1592, lig. c 2. See 
a1»D the fourth line of the aong In our author's Fair Qua 


DcKE. Well, sir, becsiue you say you are a 
111 use you like a gentleman. — Make room there, 
Plant him amongst you ; we shall have aaon 
StTsnge hanks fly here before ua : if none light 
On you, you shall with freedom take your flight : 
But if you prove a bird of baser wing, 
We'll use you like auch birds, here you shall sing. 

BoTS. I wish to be tried at no other weapon. 

Duke. Why is he fumish'd with those iniple- 


FiKST Mas. The pander 

9 dangero 

Than is the common thief; and though our laws 
Lie heavier on the thief, yet, that the pander 
Hay knon the hangman's rufT should fit him too, 
Therefore he's set to beat hemp. 

Duke. This does savour 
Of justice ; basest slaves to basest labour. 
Now, pray, set open hell, and let us see 
The she-devils that are here, 

Ikf. Methinks this place 
Should make even Lais honest. 

FiBBT Mas. Some it turns good ; 
But as some men, whose hands are once in blood. 
Do in a pride spill more, so some going hence. 
Are, by being here, lost in more impudence. 
Let it not to them, when they come, appear 
That any one does as their judge sit here, 
But that as gentlemen you come to see, 
And then perhaps their tongues will walk more free. 

Duke. Let them be marshall'd in. 

[Exewit Firit and Second Matteri, CorutabU, 
and Beadle*. 

Be cover'd all, 
Fellows, now to make the scene more comical. 

Cab. Will not you be smelt out, BoU t 



Dots. No ; your bravest whores have the « 

Re-cnicr First and Second Matters and Cmilablc, I/ich 

Dorothea Tabobt, brave ;" ajier her ttvo Beadlts, 

the one with a wheel, the other with a blue gon'n.^ 

LoD. Are not you a bride, forsooth 1 

Dor. Say ye ? 

Car. He would knotv if these be Dot your bride- 

Dor. Vuh, yes, sir ; and look ye, do you see ? 
the bride-laces that I give at my wedding will serve 
to tie TOsemary'* to both your coffins when you cottie 
from hanging, — scab ! 

Or. Fie, punk ! fie, lie, fie { 

Dor. Out, you stale, stinking head of garlic, fob, 
at my heels ! 

Oil. My bead's cloven. 

Hip. O, let the gentlewoman alone, 
to shrift. 

AsT. Nay, to do penance. 

Car. Ay, ay ; go, punk, go to the Cross aod be 

Dor. Marry mew, marry muff,' marry bang you, 
goodman dog! whipl7 do ye take me for a base 
spittle' whore? In troth, gentlemen, you wear 
the clothes of gentlemen, but you carry not the 
minds of gentlemen, to abuse a gcnih 

Lou. Fashion 1 pox a' your fash 
whore ? 

• brant] See note, 

menliuDcd in ilie te> 

1 MiBiMry] Sec now. p. 151. 
' nurry miff'] See nate. p. 36. 

• tpittUI See note, toI. u. p, 4G 


p. isn, 

it ol both ii prM 



Dob. Goodman slave ! 

Duke. O fie, abuse her not; let us two talk. — 
What iDought' 1 call your name, pray ? 

DoK. I'm not ashamed of my name, sir ; my name 
ii mUlress Doll Target, a western gentlewoman. 

LoD. Her target against any pike in Milan ! 

Ddke. Why is this wheel borne after her 1 

FiitsT Mas. She must spin. 

Dob, a coarse thread it shall be, as all threads 

Asr. Ifyouapin, then you'll earn money here too? 
Dor. I had rather get half-a'Crown abroad than 

Oa. AbnMul 1 I think so. 

Imf. Dost thou not weep now thou art here 7 

Dor. Say ye ? weep ? yes, forsooth, as you did 
"hen you lost your maidenhead ; do you not hear 
how I weep ? [.Singt. 

LoD. Farewell, Doll ! 

Dob. Farewell, dog ! [^Exit teith Beadlei. 

Ddke. Fast shame, past penitence I Why is that 
blue gown ? 

FiBBT Mas. Being stript out of her wanton loose 
That garment she puts on, base to the eye, 
Only to clothe her in humility. 

DvKE. Are all the rest like this ? 

First Mas. No, my good lord ; 
Vou see this drab swells with a wanton rein, 
The next that enters has a difierent strain. 

DuxE. Variety is good ; let's see the rest. 
lExeant First and Second Mastert and Conttahk. 

Bars. Your grace sees I'm sound yet, and no 
bullets hit me. 

' ■iMgAl] i. e. might 


Ddxe. Come ofTso, and 'tis well. 
AsT &c }^^'^'* ^^ second mesa. 

Re-enter First and Second MasUrt and Constable ; 
then Penelope Whokehound, dresied Hke a eili- 
xen's wife ; after her two Beadles, one with a blue 
gown, another n)itk ehalk^ and a mallet. 
Pen. I ha' worn many a costly gown, but I was 

never thus guarded" with blue coats and beadles 

and constables and 

spoil not thus your 

t sir, 1 Tear the spoiling of other 

that are dearer tlian my eyes ! If 

n, if you be men, or ever cante of 

stand to me, stick to me, 

Pen. O swi 

places about 
you be gentli 
a woman, pity my 
good sir, you are a 

Or. Hang not on : 
no such fruit. 

Pen. Will you bail 

LoD. Bait thee 7 ar 

Pen. No; God' is 


', 1 pritfaec ; old I 

a bear 

1 paid n 

ilor for [his gown the last fi 

shillings a-wcek that was behind yesterday. 

. What i: 

Whorehound; f 

I lieutenant Botat*] 

■ chali, &c.] See not«, p. 211. 
' guofrfed] A play on the word — DriminBd, fact 
' God] " In the old copy ibere is a blsnk left Cot thu 
to avoid the prophaaalimim nmnim* Dei, »» T. Baaiard tenna 

in his Epignmi Thii vice, as is well known, WKt, D< 

many jeian aflervtBTdi, reformed in a great degree, u for as , 
Ihe tbeaCre wii concetned. See the IMtUte 3. Jamet I. f 


[ Aha, Bots ! 


Bots, A very honest woman, as I'm a soldiBr^— 
s fax Bota ye ! 

Pen. I was never in this pickle berore ; and ja^ 
■flgo ainoDg St citizens' wives, they jeer at me | if X 
go among the looKe-bodied gowns," they cry a pas 
Ml me, because I go civilly altired, and swear tbor 
trade was a good trade till such as 1 am lock h 
out of their hands. Good lieutenajit Bots, spsak 
la these captains to hatl me. 

FiKsi Mas. Begging for bail si ill ? you are b 
trim gomip. 

Oogire her the blufl-gotra ; let ber to her chare.* 
Work, huswife, for your bread ; away I 

PsK. Out, you dog ! — a pox on you all ! — women 
Ue bom to curse thee — but I shall live to see twenty 
■veil flat-caps" shaking dice for a pennyworth of 
pippin* — out, you blue-eyed rogue ! 

[£;Ti( with Beadkt. 

OvKB. Even now she wept and pray'd ; now 

does she curse t 
PiBST Mas, Seeing me; if still sh'ad stay'd, this 

had been worse. 
Hip. Was she ever here before ? 
First Mas. Five times at least ; 
And thus if men come to her have her eyes 
Wrung and wept out her bail. 

Ast' fc ( ^**> y*" know her ! 

* lactt-btditd ginmt] The commoQ dreu ofcourteuDi : see 
Mc, vol i. p. 4S1. 
■ eiari\ " i. e. tuk-work." Ried. 
' fal-capt'] Sec note, p. £3. 



Dots. Is there any gentleman here that knows 
not a whore, and is he a hair the worse lor that ? 

Duke. Is she a city-dame, she's so attir'd ? 

First Mas. No, my good lord, that's only but 

the veil 

To her loose body ; I have seen her here 
la gayer masking suits : as several sauces 
Give one dish several utstes, so change of hi 
In whorex is a bewltchitig art; to-day 
She's all in colours to besot gallants, then 
In modest black to catch the citizen ; 
And this fVom their examination's drawn. 
Now shall you sec a monster both in shape 
And nature (juite from these, that sheds no tear. 
Nor yet is nice, 'tis a plain ramping bear ; 
Many such whales are east upon this shore. 


LoD.. ^c. 

First Mas. Then behold a swaggering whoi 

\_Exeunl First and Second Mastert tk 

Ob. Keep your ground, Bots. 

BoTs. I do but traverse to spy advantage how to 
arm myself. 

Re-enter First and Second Masters and ConttabUt 
after thein a Beadle beating a basin,* then Catbe- 
RiNA BoUNTiSALL ivith Mistress Horseleech, 

] The Firit Haslet presently leU» 
_ . . ii an emblem of ihcir reveUing," 

?ed cites a parallel paaiagc from B. Jotkoq'b Nni/ Inn, 
s. 3. anJ a remark of Whalley, that it ailuJer " to the 
ciutom of old, nhen bnwda and other inbinoiu penonf were 
ratted. A nob of people uied Id precede tb^m btating baMmt 
■nd uttiBt utenuli ufthe same tiiid, lo make ihe ooiae and 
tumult the bigger," &c. &c. 

^txT dm BMrfkr JWUb vttA a Um Am(I 
gamrdtd' with ycttom. 

Catb. Sinili, wben I cry hold your buida, holdi 
yon rognc-catcber, bold. — Bawdi are the French 
cfaObUina in your heels, that you can come no 
bster t an not yon, bawd) a whore'i ancient,^ and 
mmt not I follow my coloun T 

Hn. H. O niitrem Catherine, yon do me wrong 
to accDM me here ai you do, before the right wor- 
shipfnl I I am hnown for a motherly honest womaoi 
ana no bawd. 

Catr. Marry, fob, honest T burnt at fourteen, 
seren timcB whipt, six times carted, nine times 
ducked, searchea by some hundred and fifty con- 
stables, and yet, you are honest ! honest miBtresa 
Horseleech ! is this world a tvorld to keep bawds 
and whores honest ? how niiiny times hast thou 
given gentlemen a quart of wine in a gallon pot? 
bow many twelve -penny fees, nay, two -shillings 
fees, nay, when any ambassadors ha' been here, how 
many half-crown fees hast thou taken ? how many 
earners hast thou bribed for country wenches ? how 
often bare I rinced your lungs in aqua eitcB ?' and 
yet yon are honest ! 

DcKB. And what were you the whilst? 

Cath. Marry, hang you, master slave, who made 
you an examiner ? 

• gwttitef] See note, p. 230. 

^ ancitni] i. t. " an ensign." Reed. " Tliii point will be 
better understood from the following [paiuge of 7^ Fltin, 
by Sharpham, lig. 1 2, ed. 1615.] 

' Fleibe. What, Signior ! in tone witb my Lsdie's Jtieitul. 
Sfaskb. Wby bet Ancient ! 

Fleirb. Beciiue she carries ber coloun for her, but 'tie 
ID * boxe.' " Collier. I doubt if there be any luch point 

' Ofiuvi'f ] "Formerly the general name foripirila." Heed. 


LoD. Well said ! belike this devil spares no man. 

Cath. What art thou, prithee ? 

BoTs. Nay, what art thou, prithee ? 

Cath. A whore : art thou a thief? 

BoTs. A thief? no, I defy^ the calling; I am a 
soldier, have borne arms in the field, been in many 
a hot skirmish, yet come off sound. 

Cath. Sound, with a pox to ye, ye abominable 
rogue ! you a soldier ! you in skirmishes ! where ? 
amongst pottle-pots in a bawdy-house ? — ^Look, 
look here, you madam Wormeaten, do not you 
know him ? 

Mis. H. Lieutenant Bots, where have ye been 
this many a day ? 

Bots. Old bawd, do not discredit me, seem not 
to know me. ' 

Mis. H. Not to know ye, master Bots ? as long 
as I have breath I cannot forget thy sweet face. 

Duke. Why, do you know him ? he says he is a 

Cath. He a soldier ? a pander, a dog that will 
lick up sixpence. Do ye hear, you master swine's- 
snout, how long is't since you held the door for me, 
and cried, To't again, nobody comes ! ye rogue you ? 

LoD. ) Ha, ha, ha ! you're smelt out again, 

AsT., ^c.j Bots. 

Bots. Pox ruin her nose for't! and* I be not 
revenged for this — um, ye bitch ! 

LoD. D'ye hear ye, madam? why does your 
ladyship swagger thus? you're very brave,' me- 

Cath. Not at your cost, master cod's-head. Is 
any man here blear-eyed to see me brave ? 

** <ir/y] i. e. reject, disclaim. " and"] i. e. it 

' brave] See note, p. 190. 


Act. Yes, I am ; because good clothes upon a 
whore's back is like fair painting upon a rotten 

Cath. Marry irmfTi^ master whoremaster! yOU 
ctnne upon me with sentences. 

Ber. By this light has small sense for't. 

LoD. O fie, fie, do not vex her! and yet me- 
llijaks a creature of more scurvy conditions should 
cot knnn what a good petticoat were. 

Ck7u, Afarry, come out, you're bo busy about 
my petticoat, you'll creep up to my placket," and' 
ye could but attain the honour: but and' the out- 
lides oflend jour rogueships, look o' the lining, 'tjs 

Di;ke. Is't silk 'tis lined with, then ? 

Cath. Silk ? ay, silk, master slave ; you would 
be glad to wipe your nose with the skirt on't. This 
'tis to come among a company of cod's-heads, that 
know not how to use a gentlewoman ! 

Duke, Tell her the duke is here. 

First Mas. Be modest, Kate, the duke is here. 

Cath. If the devil were here, I care not.— Set 
forward, ye rogues, and give attendance according 
to your places ! let bawds and whores be sad, for 
I'll siog and' the devil were a-dying. 

[Exit with Mistress Horseleech and Beadles. 

Duke. Why before her does the basin ring ? 

First Mas. It is an emblem of their revelling. 
The whips we use let J forth their wanton blood. 
Making them calm ; and, more to calm their pride. 
Instead of coaches they in carts do ride. 

• marry >bh#] See note, p. 36. 

' plarkii^ See vol. ii. p. 497. The assertion of Nares, tlieie 

ioiied, is diinroved by the present passnge. 
- ■ ■' i (el\ OtUed. 



Will jrour grace see 
DtlKB. No, sliui I 


X break up tl 

e part— 

ir, that lake upon ye 
The name of soldier, llial true name of woi " 
Which aetion, not vain boasting, best seta I 
To let you know how far a solilier's name 
Stands from your title, and to let you see 
Soldiers must not be wrong'd where princes b 
This be your sentence. 

. ' o 1 Defend yourself, Bots ! 

DuKB. Firat, all the private sufierance that I 
Inflicts upon offenders, you, as the basest, 
Shall undergo it double ; after whith 
You shall be whipt, sir, round about the city. 
Then banish'd from the land. 

Bots. Beseech your grace ! 

Duke. Away with him, see't done. 

lExil Bots nith Cm 

Panders and whores 
Are city-plagues, which being kept alive, 
Nothing that looks like j^oodness e'er can thrive. — 
Now, good Orlando, what say you to your bad 
son-in-law ? 

Or. Marry, this, my lord; he is my son-in-law, 
and in law will I be his father, for if law can 
pepper him, he shall be so parboiled, (hat he shall 
Btink no more i' th' nose of the commonwealth. 

Bel. Be yet more kind and merciful, good father ! 

Or. Dost thou beg for him, thou precious man's 
meat, lliou? has he not beaten thee, kicked thee, 
trod on thee? and dost thou fawn on him like his 
spaniel 1 has he not panned thee to thy petticoat. 

TKK BtnrUT WHOES. 249 

sold thee to thj imock, made ye leap U a criut f 
yet would'st baTe me aave him ? 

BcL. O yea, good air ! women shall leani of me 
To love their hn; ' ' ' 

Then Ihew him pity, or you wreck myself. 

Oa. Hare ye eaten pigeons, that you're so kind- 
hearted to your mate ? Nay, you're a couple of 
wild bears, I'll have ye both baited at one stake : 
but as for this knave, — the gallows is thy due, and 
the sallows thou ahalt have ; I'll have justice of 
the anke, the law shall have thy life. — What, dost 
thou hold him ? let go his hand : if thou dost not 
forsake him, a father's everlasting blessing fsU upon 
both yont heads ! Away, go, kiss out of my sight ; 
play thou the whore no more, nor thou the thief 
again, my house shall be thine, my meat shall be 
thine, and so shall my wine, but my money shall be 
mine, and yet when I die, so thou ilost not fly high, 
take all ; 

Yet, good Matheo, mend.) 
Thus for joy weeps Orlando, and doth end. 

Duke. Then hear, Matheo: all'' your woes are 

By your good father-in-law ; all your ills 
Are clear purg'd from you by his working pills. — 
Come, signor Candido, these green young wits, 
We see by circumstance, this plot have' laid, 
Still to provoke thy patience, which they find 
A wall of brass ; no armour's like the mind : 

> Ket, good, &c.] An impErfect couplet: see note, p. 
In the passage nhich immediately precedes it, Orlando set 
to he leized nith a (it of rhyming. 

■ Then htar, Malkeo : all, &c.] Qy. " Then here, Mali 
■dl," io. 

' /mm] Old ed. ■' hath." 


Thou'st taught the city patience ; now our court 
Shall he thy sphere, where from thy good report, 
Rumours this truth unto the world shall sing, 
A patient man's a pattern for a king. 

{^Exeunt omnes. 



Tbe MS., from which thii drama ii now givcD, fonni put 
of MaJoDe't Collectiaii in the Bodleian Libraiy, Oxford. In 
1778 a bihbII impreHion of Tke Wilck ma printed by laaae 
Beed, for diatHbuticn among hii friend* : it wu inlended 
to (ibibit the original text vtrbatim tt Ultnaim ; but from a 
collation which wu obligingljp made for me hj the Rct. 
Stephen Reay, I find that it ii not without aome errora and 

On the diaputed question, whether this drama wsa composed 
before or after the appearance of Shakespeare's Macbeth, see 
the .Account of Middleton and his nHtings. 

Some of rhe incidenM in Thi IViuh were suggcsled by the 
following passflpe of Machiavel'i Florenii„r Hi'tary. •• Theit 
[the LoinbardB' ] kingdom descending upon Alboinus a bold 
and warlike man, ihey passed Ibe Danube, and encountering 
ComunduE King of the Lepides then possessed ofPannonia, 
overilirew and slew him. Amongst the captives Alboinua 
finds Rosamund the daughter ofComundus, and taking bet 
to wife becomes Lord of Pannonia ; but out of a brutish fierce- 
nesi in his nature, he makes a drinking cup ofCamuadua'a 
■kull, and out of it used to carouse in memory of that victory. 
Invited now by Narsetes, with whom he bad been in league 
during the Cotbick war, he leaves Pannonia to the Huns, who, 
as we have said, were after the death of Altila returned into 
their own Countrey, and comes into Italy, which finding so 
strangely divided, he in an instant possessea himself of Pavia, 
Milan, Verona, Vicenza, all Tuscany, and tile greatest part 
of Flaminia, at this day called Romania. So that ^y these 
great and sudden victories judging himself already Con- 
querour of Italy, he makes a solemn fensi at Verona, and in 
the heat of wine growing merry, causes Comundus's skull to 
be filled full of wine, and would needs have it presented (o 
Queen Rosamund, who sate at table over against him, telling 
her so loud that all might bear, that in such a time of mirlh 
be would have her drink with her father ; those words w 


bed-chamber ; widi ber she cootrhres tbat she ihould promise 
Afanacbildii the IdndDess of •Hmiftiny bim by night to her 
chamber ; and AlmafhiMit according to her assignation being 
reoeiTed into a dark room, lyes widi the Queen, whilest be 
tfaooght he lay with the Lady, who after the fact discovers 
beraelf, offering to his choice either the killing of Alboinus 
and enjoying her and the Crown, or the being made his sacri- 
fice for defiling his bed. Almachildis consents to kill Alboinus ; 
but they seeing afterwards dieir designs of seizing the king- 
dom proTe unsuccessftil, nay rather fearing to be put to death 
by the Lombards (such Iotc bore they to Alboinus) they fled 
with all die Royal Treasure to Longinus at Ravenna,*' &c. 
English tramslaium, 1674, pp. 17, 18. 

See also Hist aires Tragiques de Belleforest, 1616, t. iv. 
Hist. Izziii. 



Noble Sir, 

As a true testimony of my ready inclination 
to your service, I have, merely upon a taste of your 
desire, recovered' into my hands, though not with- 
out much difficulty, this ignorantly ill-fated labour 

Witches are, ipso facto, by the law condemned, 
and that only, I think, hath made her lie so long in 
an imprisoned obscurity. For your sake alone she 
hath thus far conjured herself abroad, and bears no 
other charms about her but what may tend to your 
recreation, nor no other spell but to possess you 
with a belief, that as she, so he that first taught 
her to enchant, will always be 

Your devoted 




Lord Gcvemor qf Ravenna, 
Sebastian, contracted to Itabella. 
^ Fernando, hU friend, 

Antonio, husband to Isabella. 
^ Aberzanes, 1 ,, 

/ ALMACHaDES,/*'"""^- 

servants to Antonio. 

Hermio, / 
Firestone, Hecate* s son. 
Servants, S^c. 


Isabella, w{fe to Antonio, and niece to the governor. 
^ Francisca, sister to Antonio. 
I AuQRETTA, the duchess*s woman. 
ft Florida, a courtesan. 

Hecate, the chief witch. 

Stadlin,) .^ . 

Hoppo, l"^'^*^'- 

Other Witches, 8fc. 

Scene, Ravenna and its neighbourhood. 



Ak Apartment m the Houte of the Lord Governor : 
a banquet set out. 

Enter Sebastian and Fei 

Seb. My three years spent in war 1 
My peace for ever. 

FtR. Good, be patient, sir. 

Seb. She is my wife by contract before heaven 
And all the angels, sir. 

Feb. I do believe you ; 
But where's the remedy now? you see she's gone. 
Another has possession. 

Seb. There's the torment! 

Fer, This day, being the first of your return. 
Unluckily proves the first too of her fastening. 
Her uncle, sir, the governor of Ravenna, 
Holding a good opinion of the bridegroom, 
As he's fair-spoken, sir, and wondrous mild 

Seb. There goes the devil in a sheep-skin ! 

Feb. With all speed 
Clapp'd it up suddenly : 1 cannot think, sure. 
That the maid over-loves him; though being mar* 

Perhaps, for her own credit, now she intends 
Performance of an honest, duteous wife. 



Seb. Sir, I've a world of business : question t 

You will but loae your labour; 'tis not fit 

For any, hardly mine own secrecy. 

To know what I intend, t take my leave, sir. 

I lind sucli strange employments in myself, 

That unless death pity me and lay me down, 

1 shall not sleep these seven years ; that's the 

least, sir. [^Exit. 

Fer. That sorrow's dangerous can abide no 

counsel ; 
'TIS like a n-ound past c 
Strike the heart deeply ; 

(lit the poor sensible sufiere 
With unbelieved pains, which n 
That enjoy love, not jraasibly can act, 
Nay, not so much as think. In troth. I p>ty hin 
Hia.siKhs drink Hfe-bloo d injjiis time offeastin 

lanquet toward; 
Play'd out her last scene? at such entertainments 

FoTgelfulness obeys, 

marriage s 

TBK wrrcB. 253 

Gu. Trithee, where t go felcb her hither : 
111 rid him smjr atraight. — [_Extt Semmt. 

The duke'f' now riMn, lir. 

Fee. I am a jojfnl man to hear it, sir, 
It wema has druak the leaa ; though I think he 
That haa the leaat haa certainly enough. [£xi(. 

Gai. I h&Te obaerv'd thia fellow : all the feaat- 
He hath not pledg'd one cup, but look'd moat 

Upon good Malaga ; flies to the hlack-jack atill, 
And aticka to amul drink like a water-rat. 
O, here she cornea : 

Enter Florida. 

Alas, the poor whore weeps ! 
'Tis not for grace now, all the world mtist judge ; 
It is for spleen and madness 'gainst this marriage : 
I do but think how she could beat the vicar now, 
Scratch the men horribly that gave the woman. 
The woman worst of all, if she durst do it. [Aside. 
Why, how now, mistress t this weeping needs not ; 

for though 
My master marry for his reputation, 
He means to keep you too. 

Flo. How, air? 

Gas. He doth indeed ; 
He swore't to me last night. Are you so simple. 
And have been five years traded, as to think 
One woman would serve him ? fie, not an empress ! 
^Vhy, he'll be sick o' th' wife within ten nights. 
Or never trust my judgment. 

Flo. Will he, think'st thou ? 

Gas. Will he ! 

Flo. I find thee still so comfortable, 

' duki'i'] MS. " king"*." 



Beshrew my heart, if I know<^ how to miss thee : 

They talk of gentlemen, perfumers, and such things ; 

Give me the kindness of the master's man 

In my distress, say I. 

6as. 'Tis your gpreat love, forsooth. 

Please you withdraw yourself to yond private par- 
lour ; 

1*11 send you venison, custard, parsnip-pie ; 

For banqueting stuff, as suckets,^ jellies, sirups, 

I will bring in myself. 

Flo. I'll take 'em kindly, sir. [Ejdt. 

Gas. Sh'as your grand strumpet's complement 
to a tittle. 

'Tis a fair building : it had need ; it has 

Just at this time some one and twenty inmates ; 

But half of 'em are young merchants, they'll depart 
shortly ; 

They take but rooms for summer, and away they 

When 't grows foul weather : marry, then come the 

And commonly they're well-booted for all seasons. 

But peace, no word ; the guests are coming in. 


Enter Almachildes and Amoretta. 

Alm. The fates have bless'd me ; have I met you 
privately ? 

Am. Why, sir, why, Almachildes ! 

Alm. Not a kiss ? 
Am. I'll call aloud, i'faith. 
Alm. I'll stop your mouth. 
Am. Upon my love to reputation, 
I'll tell the duchess once more. 

«= know] MS. *' knew." ^ swkets'\ i. e. sweetmefts. 

* termers'] i. e. persons resorting to the capital during term- 
time : compare vol. iL pp. 107, 433. 

AUL -Tb di* mj 

Tbiii^Blwr In^ a little. 

Ax. SbeTlnot think 
tkiA yW dan hm a maid of honour thna. *■ 

Aim. AnHterdatn* swallow thee fiv a puritan, 
■ * * ' 'a I like the thtt 

At (Acjriig Oroaa, and roM uab at Qneenhitbe 1 

AH, A7, then are the lil^ frnita of the pwM 

Tina^air. IJtttin 

Azk. ftwieet ▼encry be with thee, and I at the 





■iniiilil I am a littl e hea ditrong. and lo 
re cnoBt of the companyT I 1V111"R> the witcheg. 

ley uy they have charms' and tricks to make 
A wench fall backwards, and lead a man herself 
To a couDtry-liouse,'' some mile out of the town. 
Like a fire-drake. There be such whoreson kind 

And such bawdy witches; and I'll try conclusions.' 

• Jwulerdam] Set ni 

:, vol. i. p. 30fi. 

Ihe Ballad prefixed (o il, in my aec. ed. of hia IFarki, vol. i. 
p. 89. 1829. 

( diarmt] Written in MS. " durmit" — ia naed aa a dii- 
tfUable in the next accne, 

" Knit with tbeae cjkmu and retentive Icnota." 
But perhap* I ought to baTS reduced Ihe ^reieat hobbling 
epcech to proae. 

^ a amnlry houtt, &C.] " The country houae here alluded 
to," aayt Malone, " waa at Brentford ; and in the playi written 
In 1607, and for lOToe years afierwardi, there are frequent 
■llDaiona to the piactice of canying women of> the town 
Life qf Siakeipeare, p. 4S8 (sh. bg Boiwtl;, Vol. H.) 
._-_.i ,^ (_ e«p«rimeiit». 


Emier Duke^ Ducheu^ Lord Gacermor^ Amtokio, 
Isabella, amd Feakcisca* 

DuKB. A banquet' yet! why surely, my lord 
Bacchus could ne*er boast of a day till now. 
To spread his power, and make his glory known. 

DucH. Sir, you've done nobly; though in modesty 
You keep it from us, know, we understand so much. 
All this day's cost 'tis your great love bestows. 
In honour of the bride, your virtuous neice. 

Gov. In love to goodness and your presence, 
madam ; 
So understood, 'tis rightly. 

Duke. Now will I 
Have a strange health after all these. 

Gov. What's that, my lord ? 

Duke. A health in a strange cup ; and 't shall go 

Gov. Your grace need not doubt that, sir, having 
So many pledg'd already : this fair company 
Cannot shrink now for one, so it end there. 

Duke. It shall, for all ends here : here's a full 
period. {^Produces a skull set €U a cup. 

Gov. A skull, my lord 7 

Duke. Call it a soldier's cup, man : 
Fie, how you fright the women ! I have sworn 
It shall go round, excepting only you, sir, 
For your late i^ckness, and the bride herself, 
Whose health it is. 

IsA. Marry, I thank heaven for that ! 

Duke. Our duchess, I know, will f>ledge us, 
though the cup 

' A banquet'] See note, p. 252. 

Wm obm ha btber't head, which, m a trophy, 
Well kaap till deuh in memory of that conqi 
H* wa* IM oreateat fiie our iteel e'er itrook 

Well kaap till deuh in memory of that conqneit. 
H* waa ina oreateat fiie our iteel e'er itrook at. 
And h* waa Diavelj aUin : then took we thee 

Into our boeom'a lore : thon mad'it the peace 
For all tl^ conatry, thou, that beauty, did. 
Wifn dcwer Aan a &tber, are we not I 

DocB. Yea, lir, by much. 

Duxi. And we ihall find that straight. 

AxT. Tbat^a an ill bride-cup for a maniage-dayi 
I do not like the &ce on't. 

Got. Good my lord. 
The ducheu looki pale: let her not pledge you 

Dnxa. Pale 7 

DncH. Sir, not I. 

DcKB. See bow your lordsbip fails now ; 
The roie not fresher, nor the Bun at rising 
More comfortably pleasing. 

DocH. Sir, to you, 
The lord of this day's honour. [^Drinks. 

Ant. All first moving 
From your grace, madam, and the duke's great 

Since it must. [^Drinki. 

Fban. This the worst fright that could come 
To a conceal'd great belly I I'm with child ; 
And this will bring it out, or make me come 
Some seven weeks sooner than we maidens reckon. 

DucB. Did ever cruel barbarous art match this I 
Twice havel his surfeits brought my father's me- 

Thus spitefully and scornfully to mine eyes ; 

1 ham} MS. "hath." 


And rU endure 't no more ; 'tis in my heart since : 
ril be revenged as far as death can lead one. 

Alm. Am I the last man, then ? I may deserve 
To be first one d§y. [Drinks. 

Gov. Sir, it has gone round now. 
Duke. The round?'' an excellent way to train 
up soldiers ! 
Where's bride and bridegroom ? 
Ant. At your happy service. 
Duke. A boy to-night, at least; I charge you 
look to't, 
Or ril renounce you for industrious subjects. 
Ant. Your grace speaks like a worthy and tried 

Gas. And you'll do well for one that ne'er toss'd 
pike, sir. [Exeunt. 


The abode of Hecate. 

Enter Hecate.' 

Hec. Titty and Tiffin, Suckin and Pidgen, Liard 
and Robin ! white spirits, black spirits, grey spirits, 
red spirits! devil -toad, devil -ram, devil -cat, and 

'' The round] See note, voL ii. p. 190. 

* The abode ^Hecate, Enter Hecate'] MS. has, " Enter Heccat ; 
and other Witches {with Properties, and Habitts fitting)** — 
I had originally prefixed to this scene, " A Cave : Hecate dis- 
covered in front oj the stage : Stadlin, Hoppo, other witches, and 
Firestone, in an inner cave, where a caldron is boiling:** but 
Hecate does not see the caldron ; and as we shall presently 
find that Almachildes (vide p. 268) is on the point of falling 
into it, before he meets with Hecate, it could not have been 
placed in an inner cave. 

Sun. r«i(Ut] Here, ■wottUng at the tcmoL 

Bm Boflitwelt. 

Um. [mOiM} It gillopa now.r 

Hio. Are die wms blue enough t 
Of riwD I OM « Utde «eethiiig sore t 

Scad. fivilAis] TIm nip* of fiuriei' iip«i nmida' 
An not won perftct tMnn. 

Hw. Tend it carefiilly. 
Send StsdUn to me with ■ faruEen dish, 
Tliat I nuy ikll to work upon theie serpents, 
And sqaeeze 'em ready for the second hour ; 
Why, when ?i 

Enter Stadlin mlh a dUh. 

Stad. Here's Stadlin and the dish. 

Hfic. There, take this unbaptiaed brat ;' 

[(riving the dead body of a child. 
Boil it well ; preserve the fat : 

" Happo tmd Sladiiii] See qnotation from R. Scot, note, 
■ HtlbMiiil MS. " Hellvin : " lee note, p. 364. 

* PackW] MS. •■ Prickle." 

* Tlie atu rj/Tiarut, &c,] Tbii pamage i* eipltuned by the 
MawiDg Unci of Browne : 

" where oft the Faiir-Queene 
At tW7-li((ht ute, ind did commind her Eluei 
To pinch tboic Miida that had not awept their iheluei ; 
Ana further if by Maidetia ouertight 
Witbin doorei water were not brought at night. 
Or if they ipread no Table, let no Bread, 
nUy ihautd kaiu nipt fram toe vnto the head." 

Brilamia't Pattonlt, b. i. long ii, p. 41, ed. lS2d. 

* Whf, uktii] See note, p. 164. 

' Thtrt, takt thit unh^tatd brat, Stc] Here, and in the next 
tluee apeechea of Hecate, MiddJeton follow* Reginald Scot, 


You know 'tis precious to transfet 

Our 'nointed flesh into the air. 

In moonlight nights, on steeple-tops. 

Mountains, and pine-trees, that like pricks or slops 

Seem to our height ; high towers and roo fa of 

Like wrinkles in the earth ; whole provinces I 
Appear to our sight then even leek* 
A russet mole upon some lady's cheek. 
tVhen hundred leagues in air, we feast and sing, 
Dance, kiss, and coll,' use every thing ; 
What young man can we wish to pleasure us, 
But we enjoy him in an incubus ? 
Thou know'st it, Stadlin t 
St AD. Usually that's done. 

using lomelimeF the very trordsof tliac curioui 

Diietmerii ^ Witekcrajl, Scot gives from " John Bapl. Neap.'' 
L e. Porta, the folIoMinr reccijits for ihc miraculoiu trar.s- 
portstioD of witchei ; " %. Tht fal 0/ gonRg children, imi ittth 
■r viih water In a bram msiell, reaeruing (he thicken o( that 
which reroainelh boiled in the bollame, nhtch they laie vp 
and keepe, vntill occaxian lerueth to vie it. Titg pnl htrevnto 
EleiHiliiiuM. Acmllun, frondei papultai. and toaU." " fL .Sinn, 
acarum tr»lgart, peHlapht/llon, Ihe blaitd iff n fitliT-meau, lela- 
nvm imnniftrwH tl eievm. They scampe all theic togither. and 
then they nibbe all parts of their bodies esceeilingliF, nil they 
looke red and be verie hot, so w the poies rosy be opened 
and their flesh soluble anil looie. The; ioine herewithall 
either fat or oile in steed thereof, ihst the force of [he oint- 
le rather peane iawardl}. andsohemore eficctual, 
ns {saith he) is a moane light night Ihtgittat (e bt 
ramta in iXf aire, la fcailing, linging, danting, kuiing, eiiUitig, 
and tlhrr acli iff venirii, ailh inch gunlhet at tkiy low and rfe- 
rire mo,!," St. B. X. c viii. p. 184, ed. 1584.— See the original 
of this in Porta'a Magia Nataralii, rive Dt iliraculii Amm 
NaluraHum Libri liJi., \56\, llmo. p. ISO. Porta omitted the 
pssBBge in (st least some) later and enlarged editions of liia 

' iw*] L e. like — for the sake of the rhyme. 
■ eatli i. e. embrace, or claip rouod the nech- 

By this m 



Hxc Lot Di^t iboa got'tt th« nwTor of Wbel- 

I knewliim by hu Uaek doak lin'd with yeDow ; 
1 think thim'st spoii'd the youth, h«'i bat wren- 

rn biTC him the Mxt tnonntnig. Awkj, in : 
Go, bed the tmhI fi>i the weemi hoar. 

8t.u>. Where he the nugieel berbi t 

Hac They'ie downhii throat;^ 
Kb aooth cmma'd fiiU, hk ean ud noatrib 

I thnut in eleoeelinani Utdy, 
Acoaitum, frondea popnleaa, and aoot — 
Yoa may see that, he looki ho b[l]ack i' th* mouth- 
Then lium, acorum vulgare too, 
Pentaphyllon," the blood of a flitter- mouse/ 
Solatium somnificum et oleum. 

Stad. Then there's all, Hecate. 

Hec. Is the heait of wax 
Stuck full of magic needlea ? 

Stad. Tia done, Hecate. 

Hsc. And is the farmer's picture and his wife's 
Laid down to th' fire yet I 

Stad. They're a-roasting both too. 

Hbc. Good {exit Stadlin] ; then their marrows 
are a-meltiag subtly, 
And three months' sickness aucks up life in 'em. 
They denied me often flour, barm, and milk, 
GooK - grease and tar, when I ne'er hurt their 

Their brew-locks, nor their batches, nor forespoke 

■ Wke^iltt'i} Wliat place u meant by this word I know 

' kii Ihrnal'] L e. the dead cbild'*, 

■ Ptumpkgliai] MS. " DenupbilloD." 
^ JUlUr-mmt) Oi JUcker- 
' cktmimgi] HS. " c' 


Any of tbeir bree^ngs. Now I'll be meef witb 'em : 
Seren of their young piga I've benitcb'd already. 
Of ihe last Utter ; 

Nine dncklings, thirteen goitings, and a hog, 
Fell lame last Sunday alter evcn-soDg too ; 
And marlc how their aheep prosier, or what snp 
Each milch-kine givea to th' pait ; 111 send tlieM 

Shall milk 'em all 

Beforehand ; the dew-skirted' dairy-wenches 
Shall stroke dry dugs for this, and go home cursing ; 
I'll mar their sillabubs and iwothy feastings* 
Under cons' bellies with the parish-yoi 
Where's Firestone, our son Firestone ? 

Fire. Here 
Hec. Take 


Enter Firestone. 
im I, mother. 
a titis brazeD dish full of dear « 

[Givet diak. 

Thou shalt have all when I die ; and that will be 
Even just at twelve a' clock at night come three year. 
Fi&E. And may you not have one a' clock in to 
th' dozen, mother t 
Hec. No. 

Fire, Your spirits are, then, more unconacionablc 
than bakers. You'll have lived then, mother, aix- 
: year to the hundred ; and, tnethinks, ailer 
I, the devil might give you a east, for 
i fruiterer too, and has been from the be- 
■ten ponge r's,'' ^en, I 
e, though some wotud 

Eoidjo^be_tUf,flQCi^{fst trad^ though some 
have the tailor prickM'Sovvn before hi-" 

■ dcie-iklrlc>{) SIS. "dew'd-Airtrd." 

■ tuwMy fmuliagi'] L e. (1 luppoBe) feaiungs u 
tiHlilif — tlie niDWfi mm or^iuB. 

' coilermmgrr'i] i. e, apple -sellet'i. 

Hw. Go, and take I>eed yon iked not bj die 

irtioD : 'tis dear einip ; 

The boor moat hare ber porti 
Each ehanned drop u able to 
A baoiij eoiudating of aineteen 
Or oueHmd-twenty feedera. 

Fiax. Harrv, here'a itnff indeed I 
Dear ainip call yon it t a little thing 
Vonld make me give yon a dtam on't in a posaet. 
And ent ypa three yean thorter. [^mb. 

Hic Thou art now 
Abont Bome TiUany. 

Fa». Not I, tonooA. — 
TnJy the dev3'i in ber, I think : bow one vil lain 

" -liiirjn t,n,fA Iflfg p H^^nfl~rari~!ainpll nut, a Hn£|a 

me aning- \An de.'\— mother, I pray, give me leave 
Tirfa mble_ abroad to-n ight with the Niyhtmare . for 
I have a~great riiinSto' overliij^ a fat parson's 

Hbc. And who shall 

FiKE. The great cat 
For one night, mother : 
Make shifl with him fc 

Hec. You're a kind son ! 
fiut 'tis tbe nature of you all, I see that ; 
You bad rather hunt after strange women stilt 
Than lie with your own mothers. Get thee gone; 
Sweat thy six ounces out about tbe vessel. 
And tbou shalt play at midnight ; the Nightmare 
Shall call thee when it walks. 

Fiaa. Thanks, most sweet mother. [^Exit. 

Hec. Urchins, Elves, Hags, Satyrs, Fans, Fawns, 
Sylvans,'' Kitt-witb-the-candlestick, Tritons, Cen- 

e with me, then ? 

'tis but a night : 

364 ms inro). 

laurt, Dwuf*, Impi, the Spoo[r}iv, the Marc, Ute 
Maa-V-iii'-oak, the Hellw&ia, the Fire-diak«, ibt 
PneUe ! A ab hur hus ! """ 

Elder Sebastian. 
Ses. Hurra knows with what uawQlingDeaBd 
I enter this damn'i] place : but 8uch extremes 
Of wrongs in love fight 'gainst religion's knowledge. 
That were I led by this disease to deaths 
As numberless as creatures that must die, 
I could not shun the way. I know what 'tt: 
To piiy madmen now ; they^rc-gict chcd liiit^ ^ 

with bull brg(ccra, ipiriu. wiiches, rrclmi, rln/t, hag; Euriei, 
•atyri, tmni. fauiui, fyltnt [rrNaiu], kit with Iht r«»ttitltt, 
triltm; enttaurt. diear/ti. panH, impi, ealtian. coniuror*, 
njrinpbei, changlingi, IncubiU, Robin good-fellawe. <A( ipeenw, 
Ike mare, l/ie nan in (At okt, Iht htll uqiH, lAi fitrdrakt, lit 
purkU, Tom (hombe, hob gobblin. Tom tumbler, txinelet, and 
■uch other bu^, that we are tFraid of our o«ne ibsdowes." 
Ditetvftie of tfilcheruft, b. viL c xt. p. 1 J3. ed. 1J84.— Sir 
W, Scott, baving given iht ahave ouotilion from the work of 
bis nameuke, obaerrri: " 1 1 would require a better demono- 
logiBt than I am to expUin the varioui obsolete ntperecilioiu 
which lU^nald Scot liai introduced, as aniclei of llie old 
Engliih faiih, into the preceding passage. I might indeed 
■ay, the Pbuca ia a Celtic KupentitioD, from whicb the wanl 
Pouk, or Puckle, wu doubtleaa derived ; and I might con- 
jecture, that the man-in -the -oak waa the tame with the Brl- 
Kdnig or the Germans; and that the hellwain nets a kind of 
wanderiiiK (nirits. the dvBcendania of ■ champion named 
Hcllequin, who are introdticed into (he romance of Richard 
tana Peur. Bui most antiquarians will be at fault coneeraiiig 
the ■poom, Kitt'With-the-caudlestick, Boneleu, and •oma 
othera." Leileri on Dmimahgs, ic, p. IT*, »«c. ed. — What- 
ever " Hellwain" may be properly, Middleton meant to ex- 
press by the term lome individual spirit : see p. 359, and (he 
Sd Bcena of act iii. — The words wilh which Hecate concludes 
IhiaapeEch, "A abhurhual" are also borrowed Irom ILScol'a 
work, b. xiL c, xiv. p. S44, where they are mealiooed ai 
charm against ihe tooihacbe. " 

Doei a^^J 


T]*;*^ gypy wfyg ijea^gd , if tbev be 

' Of womim^ making, and her &itnle»8 vow j 

i fear they're now a-kissmg : what's a^clock ? 

*Ti8 now but supper-time ; but night will come» 

And all new-married couples make short suppers. — lC{;^:if 3 

Wbate*er thou art, I've no spare time to fear thee ; 

My horrors are so strong and great already, 

That thou seemest nothing. Up, and lajse not : 

Hadst thou my business, thou couldst ne'er sit so ; 

Twould firk Uiee into air a thousand mile. 

Beyond thy ointments. I would I were read 

So much in thy black power as^ mine own griefs ! 

Tm in great need of help ; wilt give me any ? 

Hec. Thy boldness takes me bravely ; we're all 
To sweat for such a spirit : see, I regard thee ; 
I rise and bid thee welcome. What's thy wish now ? 

Seb. O, my heart swells with't ! 1 must take 
breath first. 

Hec Is't to confound some enemy on the seas ? 
It may be done to-night : Stadlin's within ;^ 
She raises all your sudden ruinous storms, 
That shipwreck barks, and tear^ up growing oaks, 

* «] MS. " and." 

« Stadiin't within^ &c.] From R. Scot : " It is coustantlie 
affirmed in M. Mai. that Stafus vsed alwaies to hide him- 
selfe in a monshoall [mouse-hole], and had a disciple called 
Hoppo, who made Stadlin a maister witch, and could all 
when they list inuisiblie transferre the third part df their 
neighbours doong, hay, come, &c. into their owne ground, 
make haile, tempests, and flouds, with thunder and lightning ; 
and kill children, cattell, &c. : reueale things hidden, and 
many other tricks, when and where they list." Discouerie of 
Witchcraft, b. xii. c. v. p. 222, ed. 1584. — See Sprenger's Mai- 
Uus MaUficarumt Pars Sec. qusst. i. cap. xv. p. 267, ed. 157(), 
f^here the name Stadio, not Stadlin, is found ; but ihe latter 
occurs at p. 210. 

* tear] MS. " teares" — and in the next line " Flyes," and 
" takes." 




■ WMt place liar't ! 
! be nodd Kt ki> owm yMH 

Tbqr nwi W damber'il in a fi(c-p< 

A gTMii Hlk nuuiD draim before Uk cye^ ant ; 

Hii rotim, du«ai'd vean ! — ardow tfaiwi niry 

TKc 1st pcOBjjtrity of any neigSbotvI 

I'll SirlortB "B^io,~aat~bCTmCTntauoo 

Can atraigbt deautt; ibe fottng of all hia cattle ; 

Blast nmrjMtiit, orcbaida, aaeadowa ; or in ao> 


Traaipon bis dimg, bsj, com. by meka,' 

IdIo thine owa groand. 

Sib. Tlii* would cone most ricUy doit 
To many a eonntry grazier ; bnt my envy 
Liea not m) low ai cattle, corn, or vines : 
Twill trouble your best powers to give me 

Hte. U it to sUrve up generation ? 
To Htrike a barremuias in man or woman ' 

Sva. Hah! 

Hac. Hah, did you feel me there? I 

Sun. Can there be such things done ? 

IIec. Arc iheic the skina 
Ofior[>cnlaT these of anakea? 

Sbb. I sec they are. 

Hec. So Hure into what house these are conv^^, 
[Giving itrpent-ikint, ^'c. lo Sebastian. 
Knit witli these charnis* and retentive knots. 
Neither the man begets nor woman breeds, 

' Annn UofiM] I. c. tlic dale of llic liousc, frequeally sfilxt' 

^ TBI WITCH. 267 

N<s nor perfimns die least dedres of wedlock. 
Being then a mutual duty. . I could give thee 
Chirocineta,^ adincantida, 
Aichnnedont mannaritin, calicia, 
Which I could sort to yiUanous barren ends ; 
But this leads the same way. More I could in- 
Aiy the same needles thrust into their pillows 
Thai sew and sock' up dead men in their sheets ; 
^AjMrivy ipistle of f w«t ^hfil h*"g* 
" Hlrfer sunset ; good, exceUent ; yet all's there, sir. 
SbbTTou could not do a man that special kind- 
To part 'em utterly now ? could you do that ? 
Hec. No, time must do't : we camiot disjoin 
wedlock ; 
Tis of heaven's fastening. Well may we raise jars, 
Jealousies, strifes, and heart-burning disagreements, 
Like a thick scurf o'er life, as did our master 
Upon that patient miracle ;^ but the work itself 
Our power cannot disjoint. 

Seb. I depart happy 
In what I have then, being constrain *d to this. — 
And grant, you greater powers that dispose men. 
That I may never need this hag agen ! ^ 

[^Aside^ and exit. 

•» Chirocineta, &c.] From R. Scot : " Pythagoras and Dc- 
mocritiu giue vs the names of a great manie magicall hearbs 
and stones, whereof now both the vertue and the things them- 
selues also are vnknowne : as Marmaritin, whereby spirits 
might be raised : Archimedont which would make one bewraie 
in his sleepe all the secrets in his heart : Adincantida, Calicia, 
Meuais, Chirocinetat &c. : which had all their seuerall vertues, 
or rather poisons." Ducouerie of Witchcraft f b. vi. c. iii. p. 1 17, 
ed. 158<(. 

* seto and tock"] MS. '* soawes and socks." 

J patient miracle^ i. e. Job. 

^ agen'\ See note, p. 182. 


Hec. I know he loves me not,^ nor there's no 
l/ \ hope on't ; 

Tis for the love of mischief I do this. 

And that we're sworn to the first oath we take. 

Re-enter Firestone. 

Fire. O mother, mother ! 

Hec. What's the news with thee now ? 

Fire. There's the bravest™ young gentleman 
within, and the fineliest drunk ! I thought he would 
have fallen into the vessel ; he stumbled at a pipkin 
of child's grease ; reeled against Stadlin, overthrew 
her, and in the tumbling-cast struck up old Puckle's 
heels with her clothes over her ears. 

Hec. Heyday! 

Fire. I was fain to throw the cat upon her to 
save her honesty, and all little enough ; I cried out 
still, I pray, be covered." See where he comes 
now, mother. 

Enter Almachildes. 

Alm. Call you these witches ? they be tumblers, 
^y I methinks, 

Very flat tumblers. 

Hec 'Tis Almachildes — fresh blood stirs in me — 



' / know he loves me not'\ Steeyens> enumerating the parallel 
paasages of Macbeth and The Witchf compares the present 
observation of Hecate with what the same personage says in 
Shakespeare's play ; 

" And, which is worse, all you have done 
Hath been but for a wayward son, 
Spiteful and wrathful ; who, as others do, 
Loves for his own ends, not for you.** Act iii. sc 5, 

"* bravest] i. e. fineliest dressed. 

■ / praf/f be covered'] 1 may just observe, that, in the Ian-, 
guage of the time, these words meant, properly,— put on 
your hat 

TBI mrcH. 369 

The nun that I have luited to enjoy ; 

I've had him thrice in incubus alKady. [Aude. - 

Aim. h your name Good; Hag t 

Hxc. Tia any thing ; 
Can me the horrid'it and nnhaUow'd things 
That lift and nature tremhle ' at, for thee 
111 be the tame. Thou com'at for a loTe-charm 

Aut. Why, thou'rt a witch, I think. 

Hzc Thoa ahalt have choice of twenty, wet or 

Auf. Nay, let's have dry ones. 

Hbc. If thou wilt uie't by way of cup and potion, 
111 give thee a remora shall bewitch her straight. 

Alk. a remora? what's that? 

Hec. a little Buck-stone ; 
Some call it a sea-lamprey, a small fish. 

Alm. Andmust he butter'd? 

Hec. The bones of a green frog too, wondrous 
The flesh consum'd by pismires. 

Alm. Pismires ? give me a chamber-pot ! 

FiBB. You shall see him go nigh to be so un- 
mannerly, he'll make water before my mother 
anon. \_Atide. 

Alm. And now you talk of frogs, I've somewhat 
I come not empty-pocketed from a banquet, 
I learn'd that of my haberdasher's wife : 
Look, goody witch, there's a toad in marchpane ■' 
for you. [Givet march-pane. 

Hec. O sir, you've fitted me ! 

- '• IrmUr] MS. " trembUt." 

* a laad in marchpantl Marchpane was a Campoiition ol 
■Imondi and lugar, &c. pounded and baked togetber. Ii 



Auf. And here's a spaim or two 
Of the same paddock-hrood too, for your son. 

[(rtref Ukftr pieces qfmarckpame. 
FiaE. I thank your worship^ air : how comes 
your handkercher 
So sweetly thus beray'd ?^ sure 'tis wet socket,*^ sir. 

Aim. 'TIS nothing but the sirup the toad spit ; 
Take all, I prithee. 

Hec. This was kindly done, sir ; 
And you shall sup with me to-night for this. 
Alm. How ? sup with thee ? dost think 111 eat 
fried rats 
And pickled spiders ? 

Hec. No ; I can command, sir, 
The best meat i' th' whole province for my friends. 
And reverently served in too. 
Alm. How ? 
Hec. In good fashion. 

Alm. Let me but see that, and 111 sup with you. 
[Hecate conjures ; and enter a Cat playing 
! on aJiddUj and Spirits with meat, 

i The Cat and Fiddle's an excellent ordinar y : 
You had a devil once m a fox-skin ? 

Hec. O, I have him still : come, walk with me,^ 

sir. {_Exeunt all except Firestone. 

Fire. How apt and ready is a drunkard now to 

reel to the devil ! Well, Til even in and see how 

he eats ; and I'll be hanged if I be not the fatter of 

the twain with laughing at him. ' {^Exit. 

was a constant article at banquets [i. e. desserts], and was 
wrought into various figures. Taylor, the water-poet, men- 

" Conseru's and Marchpanes, made in sundry shapes, 
As Castles, Towres, Horses, Beares and Apes." 

The Siege qfJerusalemt p. 15 — Workes, I6S0. 
<i heray*d] i. e. befouled. ' sucket] i. e. sweetmeat. 


A HtM M AiiToino'i Hotue. 

Enttr Ahtomio €aid Gaspabo. 

Gu. Good sir, whence iprings thia mdneast 
tmit mei air, 
Yon' look not like a toko was married yetterday : 
There could come no ill tidinga aiace last night 
To caoae that diacontent. I waa wont to know all, 
Before you had a wife, air: you ne'er found me 
Without those parta of manhood, trust and secrecy. 

Ant. I will not tell thee this. 

Gas. Not your true servant, sir 1 

Amt. True ? you'll all flout according to your 
The hest a man can keep of you ; and a heil 'tia 
For masters to pay wages to be laugh'd at, 
Gire order tlisi two cocks be boil'd to jeliy. 

Gas. How? two cocks boii'd to jelly? 

Ant. Fetch halfan ounce of pearl. ^Exit. 

Gas. This isacuUia' 
For a consumption ; and I liope one night 
Has not brought you to need the cook already. 
And some part of the goldsmith : what, two trades 
In four-and -twenty hours, and less time? 
Pray heavan, the surgeon and the pothccary 
Keep out '. and then 'tis well. You'd better fortune, 
As far as 1 see, with your strumpet sojourner, 
Your little four nobles' a-week : I ne'er knew you 
Eat one panado" all the time you've kept her; 

* nllii] i. e. a strong broth, a savoury jglly : among its in- 
gredienu the old receipt-books mention Sac gold ind orient 

' mblei'] Gold coins worth 6i. Sil. each. 
■ panado] " A kind of caudle, made of nater, grated bread, 
eurrana, mace, cinnamon, Mck, or white wine and augar, with 

Aai is't in one nighl now come up to ■ 

broth[.] J 
I wonder at the alteration strangely. 

EtUer FaAHciacA. 
Fkan. Good morrotv, Gaspar. 
Gas. Your hearty wishes, mistress, 
And your sweet dreams come upon you ! 

Fbas. Whai'a that, sir! 

Gas. In a good husband ; that's tny real meaning 
FkAN. Saw you my brother lately ? 



A^ sad, methought, as ^ief could make a n 
H(ovr you the cause 7 

Gas. Not I : I know nothing, 
Bdt half an ounce of pearl, and kitchen busioei 
Wliich I will see performs with all fidelity : 
111 break my trust in nothing, not in porridge, I. 


Fran. I have the hardest fortune, I think, of a 
hundred gentlewomen : 

Some" can make merry with n friend seven year. 
And nothing seen ; as perfect a maid still. 
To tlie world's knowledge, as she came from 

But 'twas my luck, at the first hour, forsooth, 
To prove too fruitful ; sure I'm near my time ; 
I'm yet but a young scholar, I may fail 
In my account ; but certainly I do not. 
These bastards come upon poor venturing g 

yolks of e^^ hoiled." R. Holme's Ae, tfAnnory, b. ii 
p, S4. 

■ Same, &c.] In this >p«ech I have prinled wveral li 
proK, which might, perbspi, be tortured 30(o r — 


had been miiried, I'll be Tiaiijt ed if 
hen they are 

cbiUrwi: if- -— -- --..-- 

1 tSd hi€& with chiM no aooo now. Whei 

om- liiulMiidi, UieT'irEe whipt ere they take anch 

puna aa a frind will do t to come by water to ih e 


'jlliia tatb been uiual with menight by night, 
HonMty foivive nie I when my brother has been 
Dreaming of no such juncket ; yet he hath far'd 
The better for my sake, though he little thiuk 
For what, nor must he ever. My friend piomia'd 

To provide safely for me, and devise 
A means to save my credit liere i' th' house. 
My brother sure would kill me if he knew't. 
And ponder up my friend, and all his kindred. 
For an East Indian voyage. 

Enter Isabella. 

IsA. Atone, sister ? 

F&AN. No, there's another with me, though you 

see't not. — [^At'tde, 

Morrow, sweet sister : how have you slept to-night ? 

IsA. More than I thought 1 should ; I've had 

Fran. I am glad to hear't. 

IsA. Sister, melhinks you are too long alone. 
And lose much good time, sociable and honest : 
I'di for the married life ; I must praise that now. 

Fbak. I cannot blame you, sister, to commend it ; 
You've happen'd well, no doubt, on a kind husband, 

' cAcHVti] " Chtwit, 01 iniall pic, minced or olhcnriie." 
R. Holme'* .Ac. of Armtrg, b. iiL c. iiL p. S2. 


And that's not every woman's fortune, sistt 
You know if be were any but my brother. 
My praises should not leave him yet lO soon. 

IsA. 1 must acknonledgc, Bister, that my liTe 
Is liappily blest will) liim : he is no gamester.* 
That ever I could find o ' " 

I Nor midnight surfc 
I To leave tobacco t< 

Fkan. Why, here's a husband I 

IsA. He saw it did offund me, and swore fntlf 
He'd ne'er take pleasure in a toy" again 
That sliould displease me : some knights' wives jn 

Will have great hope, upon his reformation, 
To bring their husbands' breaths into tli' old fashion. 
And make 'em kiss like Christians, not like Pagans. 
FaAN. I promise you, sister, 'twill be s worthy 

^Tojuiljlowti all tbeae-pipers ;, 'tiigr»at pity 
'"There Bhoul3~not be ajimUfi^gainsi them, 

IsA. The^egood offices. 
If you had a husband, yon might exercise. 
To th' good o' ill' commonwealth, and do 

profit : 

Beside, it is a comfort to a woman 
T' have children, sister ; a great blessing certainly. 

Fban. They will come fast enough. 

IsA. Not so fast neither 
As they're still welcome to an honest woman. 

Fran. How near she comes to me ! I protest the 
My very skin. [A 

* ^ameiltr'] i. c. debauched fellow. 



IflA. Were I conceiv'd with child* 
Beshrew my heart, I should be so proud on't ! «v 
FiAV. Tiiat's natural ; jpri^^ iff a \w^ nf ■»<>"- \ 


IsA. Yon are no good companion for a wi 
Get you a husband ; prithee, sister, do, 
That I may ask your counsel now and then : 
Twill mend your discourse much ; you maids know 
Fbah. No, we are fools; but commonly we 
Quicker mothers than you that have husbands :-* 
I'm sure I shall else : I may speak for one. 

Re-enter Antonio. 

Ant. I will not look upon her ; 111 pass by, 
And make as though I see her not. lAside. 

IsA. Why, sir, — 
Pray, your opinion, by the way, with leave, sir : 
I*m counseUing your sister here to marry. 

Ant. To marry ? soft ; the priest is not at leisure 
Some five yftir hence. — Would you fain marry, 
sister ? 

Fra. I've no such hunger to*t, sir, — for I think 
I've a good bit that well may stay my stomach. 
As well as any that broke fast, a sinner. [Aside, 

Ant. Though she seem tall of growth, she's short 
in years 
Of some that seem much lower. — How old, sister ? 
Not seventeen, for a yard of lawn ! _^^^^ . ^ 

Fran. Not yet, hUf, ^ ^--«^ a • '^'^^ ^ 

Ant. I told you so. ^i^\ ^^ \ J 

I wager of old sliirts 


Fran. I would he'd laid i 

I shall have more need of them shortly ; and yet, 
A yard of Uwn will serve for a christening- cloth ; 
I've uae for every thing, as my case stands. [v^ri<(f. 

IsA, I care not if! try my voice 
But 1 have got a cold, sir, by your 
Ant. I'll strive to mend that fault. 
IsA. I thank you, sir. 

In a maidcit'tinu prxt/est. 
Then we say that life it bett; 
Tatting once the married life. 
Then we only praite the rnfe : 
There't but one state more to try, 
tVhich makes women Umgh o\ 
If'idotv, ifidonr: of these three 
The middle'* bett, and that give n 
Ant. There's thy reward. [Kistn \fr. 

IsA. I will not grumble, sir, 
Like some musician ; if more come, 'tis welcome. 
Fhan. Such tricks have^ made me do all t 
have done : 
Your kissing married folks spoil* . 
That ever live i' th' house with 'em. O, here 
He comes with his bags and bottles ; he was bom 
To lead poor watermen* and I. 

Ader. Go, fellows, into th' larder; let the bake- 

Be sorted by theraselvt 
A«T. Why, sir— 

THE TtTGH. 2(7 

Am**. Look tbe caoary-bottles be tkR itopt ; 
The three of claret alwll be drunk at dinner. 

• [^ExevMt Servanti. 

AxT. Hj good 117) yon're too pleateoue of these 
Indeed jon are ; forbear 'era, I bei eech ye : 
I know no merit in me, but poor love 
And a tme friend's well-wiiaing, that can canae 
Thi> kindnesa in exceas. — 1' th' itate that I am, 
I ahall go Dear to kick thii fellow ahortly, 
And leiid bim down itaira with bis bag and bag- 
'Why cornea he now I'm married? there's the point. 
I pray, forbear these things. 

Abbr. Alas, you know, sir, 
These idle toys,'' which you call courtesies, 
They cost me nothing but my servants' travail ! 
One office must be kind, sir, to another : 
You know the fashion. What ! the gentlewoman 
Your sister 's sad, me thinks. 

Akt. 1 know no cause she has. 

Fran. Nor shall you, by my good will. [Aside.^ 
— What do you mean, sir ? 
Shall I stay here, to shame myself and you 7 
The time may be to-night, for aught you know. 

Abbb. Peace; there's means wrought, I tell thee. 

Enter Sebastian and Gentleman. 

Fban. Ay, sir, when ? 

Aht. How now? what's he ? 

IsA. 0, this is the man, sir, 
I entertain'd this morning for my service ; 
Please you to give your liking. 



fos« Yes ; but it please j 
There h a gentlenian fincm the imnheiM potts 
Hath brougfat a letter, as it secas io kaste;. 

AsT. From vhom ? 

GcvT. Your bonnj ladr modier, sir. 

[Gieimg letter is Avioxio. 

AsT. Yoo are kindly wekome, sir: how dock 

Gest, I left her heal ^ Tarraj welL sir. 

AxT. JreaJts] I pray send yomr sister damm wiik 
all speed to me : I hope it will prote much for her 
good in the way of her preferment. Fail me motj I 
desire you, son, nor let any excuse of hers withhold 
her : I have sent, ready /wmished^ horse and mamfojr 

Aber. Now, have I thought upon you ? 

Fran. Peace, good sir ; 
YouVe worthy of a kindness another time. 

Ant. Her will shall be obey*d. — Sister, prepare 
You must down with all speed. 

Fran. I know, down I must ; 
And good speed send roe ! [^Aside. 

Ant. 'Tis our mother's pleasure. 

Fran. Good sir, write back again, and certify 
I'm at my heart's wish here ; Tm with my friends. 
And can be but well, say. 

Ant. You shall pardon me, sister; 
I hold it no wise part to contradict her. 
Nor would I counsel you to't. 

^ heal"] i. e. health — Scutch — at Ravenna ! 


Feav. Tit fo uncoutb 
LiTing i' iV country, now I'm us'd to th' city. 
That 1 shall ne'er endure't. 

Abkb. Perhaps, forsooth, 
rris not her meaning you shall live there long : 
I do not think but wer a month or so, 
Youll be sent up again ; that's my conceit 
However, let her have her wiU. 

Art. Ay, good sir, 
Great reason 'tis she should. 

IsA. Tm sorry, sister, 
Tis our hard fortune thus to part so soon. 

Fran. The sorrow will be mine. 

Ant. Please you walk in, sir ; 
We'll have one health unto those northern parts, 
Though I be sick at heart. 

[^Exeunt Antonio, Isabella, and Gentleman, 

Aber. Ay, sir, a deep one — 
Which you shall pledge too. 

Fran. You shall pardon me ; 
I have pledg'd one too deep already, sir. 

Aber. Peace ; all's provided for : thy wine's laid 
Sugar and spice ; the place not ten mile hence. 
W hat cause have maids now to complain of men, 
V/ hen a farm-house can ma ke all whole agen ?^^ 

[^Exeunt Aberzanes and Francisca. 

Seb. It takes ; has no content : how well she 
bears it yet ! 
Hardly myself can find so much from her 
That am acquainted with ^^ the .cold disease : 
O honesty's a rare wealth m a woman ! 
It knows no want, at least will express none, 
Not in a look. Yet I'm not throughly happy : 

<* agen'] See note, p. 182. 





[jg ill do es me no goo d; well may it keep me 


ice still. 
Le'~''g?eai«ir'^r^efir^oii^ lost 
'Tis not so much the horror of their pains. 
Though they he infinite, as the loss of joys ; 
that deprivation is the mother 

Of alltEe"groan8 in hellTand here on ear^ 

Of all the red sighs in th e_hearts of lovera. 

StUl s&s i^ ot mi ne, that c an be no m an's e lse 

Till I be nothing, if relig ion ~ 

Have tlie^me strength for me as *t has for others l 

lIoTy vows, wftness i£at our souls were married ! 

Re-enter Gasparo, ushering in Lord Governor 
attended by Gentlemen. 

Gas. Where are you, sir ? come, pray, give your 
attendance ; 
Here's my lord governor come. 

Gov. Where's our new kindred ? 
Not stirring yet, I think. 

Gas. Yes, my good lord : 
Please you, walk near. 

Gov. Come, gentlemen, we'll enter. 

Seb. I ha' done't upon a breach ; this a less ven- 
ture. T (\^ .^9 \ lExeuni. 


A Gallery in the Duke's House. 

Enter Almachildes. 

Alm. What a mad toy^ took me to sup with 
witches ! 

* toy] i. e. whim, fancy. 

Fie of an diunken hnmoura ! by this band, 

I conld beat inyielf wben I tbink on't : and tbe 

Hade me good cheer too ; and to my understanding 

Eat aome of every diib, and apoil'd tbe rest : 
But conung to my lodging, I remember 
I wai as bangry as a tirM foot-post. 
What's this I 

[TakafimnUtpocka a ribbon. 
O, 'tis Uie cbarm her bMsbip gave me 
For my duchess' obstinate woman ; round about 
A threepenny silk ribbon of three colours, 
Necte tribtu nodii term» Amoretta colores ; 
Amoretta ! why, there's her name indeed : 
Necte Amoretta ; again, two boughts/ 
Nodo el Fenerit die vincitia necte ; 
Nay, if Veneris be one , I 'm sure there's no dead j (/^ 

If I sbouloiindertake to construe this now, 
I should make a fine piece of work of it. 
For few young gallants are given to good con- 
Of any thing, hardly of their best friends' wives, 
Sisters, or nieces. Let me see what I can do now. 
Necte tribtu nodi*, — Nick of the tribe of noddies 
Tertto* cohret, — that makes turned colours ; 
Nodo et Fenerit, — goes to his venery like a noddy ; f j^j. 

Die tineula, — with Dick the vintner's boy. ' " 

Here were a sweet* charm now, if this were the 
meaning on't, and very likely to overcome an 
honourable gentlewoman. The wboraon old hellcat 
would have given me tbe brain of a cat once in my 


handkercher ; I bade her make sauce with't, with a 
vengeance ! and a little bone in the hithermost part 
of a wolf's tail ; I bade her pick her teeth with't, 
with a pestilence ! Nay, this is somewhat cleanly 
yet and handsome ; a coloured ribbon, a fine, gentle 
charm ! a man may give't his sister, his brother's 
wife, ordinarily. See, here she comes, luckily. 

Enter Amoretta. 

Amo. Blest powers, what secret sin have I com- 
That still you send this punishment upon me ? 
Alm. *Tis but a gentle punishment ; so take it. 
Amo. Why, sir, what mean you ? will you ravish 

me ? 
Alm. What, in the gallery, and the sun peep in ? 
There's fitter time and place. — 

[^As he embraces her, he thrusts the ribbon into 
her bosom, 

'Tis in her bosom now. \_Aside, 
Amo. Go, you're the rudest thing e'er came at 

court ! 
Alm. Well, well ; I hope you'll tell me another 
Ere you be two hours older : a rude thing ? 
I'll make you eat your word; I'll make all split'' 
else. [^Exit. 

Amo. Nay, now I think on't better, I'm to blame 
too : 
There's not a sweeter gentleman in court ; 
Nobly descended too, and dances well. 
Beshrew my heart, I'll take him when there's 

" time ; 
He will be catch 'd up quickly. The duchess says 

' ^ allsplit'\ See note, vol. ii. p. 518. 


Sfa'u some employment for him, and has sirom me 

To UK my best art in't : life of my joys, 

There were good BtuSt I will not trust her with 

111 call him back again ; he must not keep 
Oat of my sight so long ; I shall grow mad then. 

Enter Duchesi. 
jDdch. He lives not now to see to-morrow spent. 
It this means take efiect, as there's no hardness in't. 
Last night he play'd his horrid game again. 
Came to my bed-side at the full of midnight. 
And in his hand that fatal, fearful cup ; 
Wak'd me, and forc'd me pledge him, to my trembling 
And my dead father's scorn ; that wounds my sight, 
That his remembrance should be rais'd in spite : 
But either his confusion or tninc ends it. — [_Aside. 
O, Amoretta, — hast thou met him yet ? 
Speak, ivench, hast done that for me ? 

Amo. What, good madam ? 

DucH. Destruction of my hopes ! dost ank that 
Didst thou not swear lo me, out of iliy hate 
To Almachildes, ihoudst dissemble him 
A loving entertainment, and a meeting 
Where I should work my will ? 

Amo, Good madam, pardon mc : 
A lovin g entertainment I do protest 
Mys^f l o give him^ "witirail speed I can loo ; 
But, as I'm yetlTinaiST^ perfect one 
As the old time was wont to afford, when 
There were' few tricks and little cunning stirring, 
I can dissemble none that will serve your turn ; 
He must have even a right one and a plain one. 

' «.««] MS. '■ was." 


DucH. Tliou mak'st me doubt thy health ; 
art thou well ? 

Amo. O, never better ! if be would mnke hane 
And come back quickly ! he atays row too long. 

[r/ie ribbon/alU out of hfr botom. 

DttCH. I'm qiiiti- lost in this noman : what's that 
Out of her boBom now ! some love-toVen ? 

Amo, Nay, I'll say that for him. he's tl 
civil' St gentleman, 
Aud every way ilesercleaa. 

Di;cH. Who's that now 
She discommends so fast ? . 

Amo. I could not love him, madam, 
Ofany man in court. ' 

DucH. What's he now, prithee ? 

Aho, Who should it be but Almachildcs, madam T 
I never hated man bo deeply yei. 

DucH. As Almachildes ? 

Asio. I am sick, good madam, 
When I hut hear him nam'd. 

DccH. How is this possible ! 
But now thou saidsc thou lov'dst him, and ii^ 

'Bove all the court in praises. 

Alio. How great people 
May speak their pleasure, madam I but surelrf 
Should think the worse of my tongue while 1 liv'd 

DncH. No longer have I patience to forbear thee. 
Thou that rctain'st an envious soul to goodness ! 
He is a gentleman deserves as much 
As ever fortune yet bestow'd on man ; 
The glory and prime Justre of our conn ; 
Nor can there any but ourself be worthy of him ; 
And take you notice of that now from tae, 

i di^UL 

^tj jroo IisTe wBning m't, if you did lore him, 

'^tm nut not now. 

Amo. Lm jam grace nsrer fbu it. 
— Dot. Tbj name is Amoretta, aa onra ia ; 

■*1ai made me lore and tnut tbee. 
^^Axo. And my liuthfiilnen 
^Xk ^pear'd well i' Ih' proof itill ; haa't not, 

DocB. Bttt iTt Ikfl nowi 'tia Dolhiog. 
Am, Then it ihall noU 
^ know he will not be long kam fluttering 
%out this place* now haa bad a light of me ; 
■^Ind ni perform 
* n all that I Tow'd, madam, faithfully. 

DucB. Th en am T *''"' hilt^ 'n ■■°'""'f^''^'"1 1"", 
•And thou alial t taate the aweetnegg. \Ex3. 

X liat not'to inq uire ; 

Xm to preserve a competent honesty, 

Both for mine own end his use that shall have mei 

Re-enter Alhachildes. 
Whose luck aoe'er it he. O, he's return'd already ; 
1 knew he would not fail, 

Alh. It works by this time. 
Or the devil's in't, I think ; I'll ne'er trust witch 

Nor sup with 'em this twelvemonth. [^Atide. 

Auo. I must soothe him now ; 
And 'tis great pain to do't aaainst one's stomach. 

Alu. Now, Amoretta 1 

Amo. Now you're welcome, sir, 
If you'd come always thus. 

Alh. O, am I so 7 
la the case alter 'd since ? 


Amo. If you'd be ru[l']d, 
And know your times, 'twere somewhat; agr^ 


'Las, I could be as loving and as venturous 
As any woman — we're aJl flesh and blood, man-- 
If you could play the game out modestly, 
And not betray your hand. I must have care,sifi 
You know I have a marriage-time to come. 
And that's for life : your best folks will be merryt 
But look to the main chance, that's reputatioD, 
And then do what they list. 

Alm. Wilt hear my oath ? 
By the sweet health of youth, I will be careful, 
And never prate on't, hor, like a cunning snarer, 
Make thy clipp'd* name the bird to call in others* 

Amo. Well, yielding then to such conditions 
As my poor bashfulness shall require from you, 
I shall yield shortly after. 

Alm. I'll consent to 'em ; 
And may thy sweet humility be a pattern 
For all proud women living ! . 

Amo. They're beholdingj to you. [Exct^^ 


The neighbourhood of Ravenna. 

Enter Aberzanes, and old JVoman carrying an inf(^^ 

Aber. So, so, away with him ! Ji love jQ^t 'ef 
But p ot toJ^££pJem. Dost thou know the house 
Old Wom. No matter for the house, I know it 

' clipped'} Or cleped — i. e. called. 

J beholding^ For beholden — a common form in our o 


Ami*. There'! ■ixpence more for Uut: swty, 
j^^ keep dose. — [£xit eld Womm. 

^3~ 7 "iloi told me he lent cmj a mud-Mrrant 
mf^^ twUut of all lide* withia theae niDC Axjt ; 
^^n wife ne'er dream'd on't; gare the dnb ten 
^^ pounds, 

^^nd she ne'er troubles bin) : ■ common ''--■^- — 
'^b tidd me 'twas to rid away a scape ; 

■^jid I haTe sent him this fbr^t. I remt 

^h friend of mine once serv'd a prating tradesman 
^ost on this fashion, to a hair, in troth. 
Xis a good ease to a man ; you can swell a maid up, 
And rid her for ten pound ; there's the purse back 

Whate'er becomes of your money or your maid. 
This comes of bragging, now. It's well for the 

He'll get an excellent trade by't ; and on Sundays 
Go like a gentleman that has pawn'd his rapier: 
Jfl nf [^ ""' '•'■'•'■ "^'^t cQuntry nian_biaJatherjras, 
what his mother was when he was g otten : 

Enter Francisca. 

Twill be his own another day. O, well said I 
An almost fumish'd J there's such a toil always 
To set a woman to horse, a mighty trouble. 
The letter came to your brother's hands, I know. 
On Thursday last by noon : you were expected 

Yesterday night. 

FaAN. It makes the better, sir. 

Abeb. We must take heed we ride through all 
the puddles 



Tffixt this and that now, that your safeguard^ 

May be most probably dabbled. 

Fran. Alas» sir, 
I never mark'd till now — I hate myself — 
How monstrous thin I look ! 

Abeiu Not monstrous neither ; 
A little sharp i* th* nose, like a country woodcock. 

t'luiK. Jb'ie, fie, how pale i am ! 1 sball beEtty 
I would you'd box me well and handsomely, 
To get me into colour. 

Aber. Not I, pardon me ; 
That let a husband do when he has married you : 
A friend at court will never offer that. 
Come, how much spice and sugar have you left 

At this poor one month's voyage ? 

Fran. Sure, not much, sir ; 
I think some quarter of a pound of sugar, ■ 

And half an ounce of spice. 

Aber. Here's no sweet charge !^ 
And there was thirty pound good weight and true. 
Beside what my man stole when 't was a-weighing. 
And that was three pound more, I'll speak with 

The Rhenish wine, is*t all run out in caudles too ? 

Fran. Do you ask that, sir T 'tis of a week's 
You see what 'tis now to get children, sir. 

Enter Bay. 
BoT. Your mares are ready both, sir. 

^ iofeguard] See note, vol. ii. p. 459. 

* Here't no sweet charge] See note, vol. i. p. 169. 

Abie. Corner well up, then. — 
Yoadi, give mj tuter ■ itnigfat wind : tbare'i two- 
Bm. ni fiwm her a flne whip. »ir. 

^lyiigh w h>TB hoth deaerr'd JL 

Bar . Hwrtfi « new eiifc 

ABB» .J^ith«a. ^ -ifc m ni of PQ whipa, good bo^; 
M t hem aehw whwi I tea 'em.—Let't *w«t. 



An Apartment in the Duke't Home. 

Enter Duchett, leading Alhachildes blindfold. 

Alu. Thia you that was a tnaid 7 how are you 
To deceive meo ! I'd thought to have married you : 
I had been finely handled, had I not ? 
ni lay that man is wise ever hereafter 
That tries his wife beforehand. 'Tis no marvel 
Yon ahoold profess such basbfulness, to blind one, 
As if you durst not look a man i' th' face. 
Your modesty would blush so. Why do you not 

And tell the duchess now 7 go ; you should tell all : 
Let her know this too. — Why, here's the plague 

Tis hard at first to wip 'em ; when they're (;ol 
There's no way to be rid on em : they stick 
To a ma n like bird-liiae. — My oath is out : 
Will you release me? I'll release myself else, 
vot. III. c c 



DucH. Nay, sure, 111 bring you to your siglit 
again. [ Taking off the bandage from his eyes. 
Say, thou must either die, or kill the duke ; 
For one of them thou must do. 

Alm. How, good madam ? 

DucH. Thou hast thy choice, and to that pur* 
pose, sir, 
I've given thee knowledge now of what thou hast. 
And what thou must do, to be worthy on*t. 
You must not think to come by such a fortune 
Without desert ; that were unreasonable. 
He that's not born to honour must not look 
To have it come with ease to him; he mustwin't. 
Take but unto thine actions wit and courage. 
That's all we ask of thee. But if through weakness 
Of a poor spirit thou deniest me this, 
Think but how thou shalt die ! as I'll work means 

No murderer ever like thee ; for I purpose 
To call this subtle, sinful snare of mine 
An act of force from thee. Thou'rt proud and 

youthful ; 
I shall be believ'd : besides, thy wantonness 
Is at this hour in question 'mongst our women. 
Which will make ill for thee. 

Alm. 1 had hard chance 
To light upon this pleasure that's so costly ; 
'Tis not content with what a man can do. 
And give him breath, but seeks to have that too. 

DucH. Well, take thy choice. 

Alm. I see no choice in't, madam, 
For 'tis all death, methinks. 

DucH. Thou'st an ill sight then 
Of a young man. 'Tis death if thou refuse it ; 
And say, my zeal has warn'd thee. But consenting, 



Twill be new life, great honour, and my love, 
Which in perpetual bauds I'll fasten to thee. 

Alu. How, madam 7 

DucH. I'll do't religiously ; 
Hake thee my husband ; may 1 lose all sense 
Of pleasure in life else, and be more miserable : 
Than erer creature was .' for nothing lives 
But baa a joy in somewhat. 

Alm. Then by aU 
The hopeful fortunes of a young man's rising, 
I will perform it, madam, 

DccH. There's a pledge then 
Of a duchets' love tar thee ; and now trust me 
For tbv most happy safety. I will choose 
That time shall never hurt thee : when a man 
Shews resolution, and there's worth in him, 
III have a care of him. Part now for this time ; 
But still be near about us, till thou canst 
Be nearer, that's ourself. ^~— 

Aim. And that I'll venture jjard for. 

Ddch. Good speed to thee ! [^Exeunt. 


An Apartment in Aktokio's Houte. 

Enter Gasparo and Flokida. 

Flo- Prithee, be careful of me, very careful now ! 

Gas, I warrant you: he that cannot be careful 
of a quean, can be careful of nobody ; 'tis evenr 
man's humour that : I should never look to a wife 
half 90 handsomely. 

Flo, O softly, sweet sir! should your mistress 
meet me now 
In her own house, I were undone for ever. 

Gam. Nerer ictf ker: ^e*s flt lier prick-«oiig 

There^s afl the jojr ^e kas. or taket del%ht io. 
Look, kefe's tke gardcn-keyt mj mvter gmve't me. 
And wOI'd me to be cardiil : dookc noc yon oii*t. 

Fu>. Yoor master is a noble eomplete gentleman. 
And does a woman all tke li^ tkat may be. 

ScB. How now ? wbat's ske ? 

Gas. a kind of doabtfal creature : 
111 tell thee more anon. 

{^ExetaU Gasparo amd Florida. 

Seb. I know that face 
To be a stnimp^fs, or mine eye is enTioiis, 
And would fain wish it so where I would have it. 
I fail, if the condition™ of this fellow 
Wears not about it a strong scent of baseness. 
I saw her once before here, five days since 'tis. 
And the same wary panderous diligence 
Was then bestow'd on her : she came alter'd then, 
And more inclining to the city-tuck. 
Whom should this piece of transformation visit, 
Afler the common courtesy of frailty, 
In our house here ? surely not any servant ; 
They are not kept so lusty, she so low. 
Vm at a strange stand : love and luck assist me ! 

Re-enter Gasparo. 

The truth I shall win from him by false play. 
He*8 now return*d. — Well, sir, as you were saying, — 
Go forward with your tale. 

Gas. What? I know nothing. 

Seb. The gentlewoman. 

"* condition] i. e. quality, disposition. 


■ gone 01 

6u. Then nrewell the, and yon, if that be all. 
Gas. Come, come, thou ihalt hare more : I have 
no power 
To lod n^ielf up from thee. 
Sbb. Bo metfainki. 

Gis. You ihall not think, tmat me, lir, yoa 
■hall not: 
Tour ev ; ihe'a one o' th' falling fkmilT, 
A quean my maatei keepa ; she liei at Rntney'i. 
BIB. Is't poaaiblef I thought I'd seen her (ome- 

Ga^. I tell you truth sincerely. Sh'os been thrice 
By stealth within these ten days, and departed still 
With pleasure and with thanks, sir ; 'tis her luck. 
Surely I think if ever there were man 
Bewitch'd in this world, 'tis my master, sirrah. 
Seb. Think'st thou so, Gaspar ? 
Gas. O sir, too apparent. 

Seb. This may prove happy : 'tia the likeliest 
That fortune yet e'er shew'd me. lAtide. 

Ertter Isabxlla mith a Utter. 
IflA. You're both here now. 
And strangers newly lighted ! where's your attend- 
Seb. I know what makes you waspish : a pox 
She'll every day be angry now at nothing. \_Ande. 
[Examt Gasparo and Sebastiak. 
IsA. I'll call her stranger ever in my heart : 
Sh'as kill'd the name of sister through base lust. 
And fled to shifts. O how a brother's good thoughts 
Hay be beguil'd in woman I here's a Tetter, 


Found in her absence, reports strangely of her* 
And speaks her impudence : sh'as undone herself — 
I could not hold from weeping when I read it — 
Abus'd her brother's house and his good confidence. 
Twas done not like herself ; I blame her much : 
But if she can but keep it from his knowledge, 
I will not grieve him first ; it shall not come 
By my means to his heart. — 

Re-enter Gaspako. 

Now, sir, the news ? 

Gas. You call'd *em strangers ; 'tis my master's 
sister, madam. 

Is A. O, is it so ? she's welcome : who's come 
with her ? 

Gas. I see none but Aberzanes. [^Exit. 

IsA. He's enough 
To bring a woman to confusion. 
More than a wiser man or a far greater. 
A letter came last week to her brother's hands, 
To make way for her coming up again. 
After her shame was lightened ; and she writ there. 
The gentleman her mother wish'd her to, 
Taking a violent surfeit at a wedding, 
Died ere she came to see him : what strange cunning 
Sin helps a woman to ! Here she comes now. — 

Enter Francisca and Aberzanes. 

Sister, you're welcome home again. 

Fran. Thanks, sweet sister. 

Isa. You've had good speed. 

Fran. What says she ? [y^«dle.] — I have made 
All the best speed I could. 

IsA. I well believe you. — 
Sir, we're all much beholding ° to your kindness. 

>* beholding^ See note, p. 286. 


Aber. My service ever, madam, (o a )(end»- 

I took a bonny mare I keep, and met her 
Some ten mile out of town, — eleven, I ihink.— 
Twas at the stump I met you, 1 rctnembcr. 
At hoitom of the hill. 

Fran. 'Twas thereabout, air. 

Aber. Fuil eleven then, by the rod, if they war* 

IsA. You look iU, methinks : have you been lick 
' of Inef— 

no^ very bleak, doth ihe iibtf how think yon, 
Abbe. No, no ; m little sharp with tiding ; th'u < 

rid sore. 
Fban. I ever look lean after a journey, sister ; 
One shall do that has travell'd, travell'd bard. 
Abeb. Till evening I commend you to your- 
selves, ladies. lExU. 
tsA. And that's best trusting to, if you were 
hang'd. — [Amte. 
You're well acquainted with his band went out now T 
Fean. His hand ? 

IsA. I apeak of nothing else ( I think 'tis there. 
[^Giving letter. 
Please you to look upon't ; and when you've done, 
If you did weep, it could not be amiss, 
A sign you could aay grace after a full meal. 
You had not need look paler, yet you do. 
Twas ill done to abuse yourself and ua. 
To wrong so good a brother, and the thoughts 
That we both held of you. I did doubt you much 
Before our marriage ; hut then my strangeness** 
And better hope still kept me oSTfrom speaking. 

' ilnagtmii] L e. shyaeu, merre. 


Yet mmy you find a kind and peacefbl sister of me, 

If yoa desist here, and shake hands with foUy, 

Which yoa ha' more cause to do than I to wish yon. 

As truly as I bear a love to goodness. 

Your brother knows not yet on't, nor shaQ ever 

For my part, so you leave his company. 

But if I find you iropudoit in sinning, 

I will not keep't an hour, nay, prove your enemy. 

And you know who will aid me. As youVe good* 

You may make use of this ; 111 leave it with you. 

Fran. Here's a sweet churching afler a woman's 
And a fine Give you joy ! why, where the devil 
Lay you to be found out ? the sudden hurry 
Of hastening to prevent shame brought shame forth: 
That's still the curse of all lascivious stuff; 
Misdeeds could never yet be wary enough. 
Now must I stand in fear of every look, 
Nay, tremble at a whisper. She can keep it secret ? 
That's very likely, and a woman too ! 
I'm sure I could not do't ; and I am made 
As well as she can be for any purpose : 
*T would ne'er stay with me two days — I have 

castP it — 
The third would be a terrible sick day with me, 
Not possible to bear it : should I then 
Trust to her strength in't, that lies every night 
Whispering the day's news in a husband's ear ? 
No ; and I've thought upon the means : blest for- 
tune ! 
I must be quit with her in the same fashion. 
Or else 'tis nothing : there is no way like it, 

p casti i. e. contrived. 


To Wu bar bocwi^ into qneition canningly. t 

My ImSter wiU bdwrs mull likdihoodB, 
^^-i— i^ from >M too. I Ijing now i' th' houae \ 
Ibj work dmiga to my will, beyond conceit too : 
IKi^nM bar Bnt, hor tale will ne'er be heard ; 
I lauit'd tint eoanael fint of a aonnd guard. 
I do raapect Gaapar, my brotlm'i aquira there. 
Hod aone hand in thia mischief for he'a cunning ; 
.And I periwpi may fit him. 

Enter Aittonio. 
Am. Yonr aiater told me yon were come ; thon'rt 

Fuir. Where ia she ? 
AvT. Who, my wife ? 
Fran. Ay, sir. 
Amt. nithin. 

Fban. Not within bearing, think you ? 
Amt. Within hearing ? 
What'a thy conceit in that ? why shak'st thy head so, 
And look'at so pale and poorly ? 

Fban. I'm a foo) indeed 
To take such grief for others ; for your fortune, sir. 
Amt. My fortune? worse things yet? farewell 

life then ! 
Fkan. I fear you're much deceiv'd, sir, in thia 

AxT. Who? inmywife? speak low; come hither; 

sofUy, sister. 
Fban. I love her as a woman you made choice 
But when she wrongs you, natural love is touch'd, 

And that will apeak, you know. 
AiTT. I trust it will. 

Fftjur. I held a dvetvd 
At finty when I wcot doiva, 

the sooner; 
But more, to make amnwif, atmy 
I fbond apparent signs. 

AvT. Atiparettt, sajst dioa ? 

Fba«. A3r, and of base Inst too ; that makes di' 

AvT. There has been TiDanj wro u g ht mfoa me 
then ; 
Tis too plain now. 

FftAN. Happy are they, I say still. 
That have their sisters lining i' th' house with 'em, 
Their mothers, or some kindred ; a great comfort 
To all poor married men ; it is not possible 
A young wife can abuse a husband then ; 
Tis found straight. But swear service to this, 
Ant. To this, and all thou wilt have. 
Fran. Then this follows, sir. \_fFhispers Aim. 
Ant. I praise thy counsel well ; I'll put't in use 
See where she comes herself. \_Exit Francisca. 

Re-enter Isabella. 

Kind, honest lady, 
I must now borrow a whole fortnight's leave of thee. 

IsA. HoWy sir, a fortnight's ? 

Ant. It may be but ten days, I know not yet ; 
'Tis business for the state, and 't must be done. 

IsA. I wish good speed to't then. 

Ant. Why, that was well spoke, 
ril take but a foot-boy ; I need no more ; 
The rest I'll leave at home to do you service. 

IsA. Use your own pleasure, sir. 

Am. im nyretuiD 
Toon 1w good cooinHiy, my sister and 700. 

IsA. W« absU nnu shift, sir. 

A«i. rm glad now she's come ; 
Aad BO ibe wishes of my lore to both t 

IsA. And oni good prayers with 701I1 sir ! 

[Exit AMTono. 

Ar-«iter Sbbastuit. 

SsB. Now, mj fbrtone I— [Atitk, 

^ your Idnd &Tonr, msdim. 

ISA. With me, sir T 

SzB. The words shall not be maoy, but the &ith- 
And true respect that are' included in 'em 
Is worthy your attention, and may put upon me 
The fair repute of a just, honest servant. 

ItA. What's here to do, sir. 
There's such great preparation toward ? 

Seb. In brief, that goodness in you is abus'd, 
madam ; 
You have the married life, but 'tis a strumpet 
That has the joy on't and the fruitfulness ; 
There goes away your comfort. 

Iba. How ? a strumpet ? 

Seb. Of live years' cost and upwards, a dear 
As they are all of 'em ; his fortnight's journey 
Is to that country : if it be not rudeness 
To speak the truth, I've found it all out, madam. 

IsA. Thou'st found out thine own ruin ; for to 
my knowledge 
Thou dost belie him basely : I dare swear 

■ an] MS. " il." 

fk'4 a f^-— " m fru fi^ dK iUIy 

£bk* I tt bccss Ac 3«^ ■es^cT yosr &w«hi — 
TW aelj emnt* Aaa I have oa onk, 

Svr >n ik cxfCTUOD of isan't tnx. 
Shall |« IT* cff: iboBct I be poor, rm hoacat, 
Aad lao JD«t in thu bauncaa. I pcrcciTe dow 
ToA tDticfa rcapcc: aad faiiLfolaeas to ladies 
Ma« b« a irroag lo s«nacu. 

ill. An tboa yet 
So iirrpodcni u> uaad io't ? 

•Stt. Are JOB yet lo cold, madam. 
In the belief oo't ? ihere mr woader'a Bx'd : 
Having luch bleu«d health and youth about you, 
fVhich nukei the injury mighty. 

IiA. Why, I tell thee. 
It were too great a fortune for thy lowncM 
To find out Huch a thing ; thou doat not loolc 
Ai if thou'rt made for't. By the sweets' of love, 
I would give halftny wealth for such a bargain, 
Atid think 'twere bought too cheap : thou canst not 

Thy mcanii and happiness, should I find this true. 
First, I'd prefer thee to the lord my uncle ; 
He's governor of Ravenna, all th' advancements 
r th' kingdom flow" from him : what need I bout 

Which common fame can teach thee 7 

Stu. Then thus, madam : 

■ rf»pf»J] MS. "depend!." 

' ivrrri] MS. " prelioua mtiltt." 

<■ /uk] MS. " Bonm." 

Since I pretuine now on your height of spirit, 
And your regmrd to yoar own youth and fruitfiilneM, 
Wbidi every wonuo naturally loves and coTeta, 
Accept but of my labour in directions. 
Yon shall both find your wrongs, which you may 

At your own pleasure, yet not miss'd to-night 
Here in the house neither ; none shall take notice 
Of any absence in you, as IVe thought on't. 
IsA. Do this, and take my praise and thanks for 

Sex. As I deserve, I wish 'em, and will serve 

you. {_Exeunt. 


A Field. 

EnttT Hecate, Stadlin, Hoppo, and other Witches ; 
Firestone in the back-ground. 

Hec. The moon's a gallant ; see how brisk she 

SiAn. Here's a rich evening, Hecate. 

Hec. Ay, is't not, wenches. 
To take a journey of five thousand mile? 

Hop. Ours will be more to-night. 

Hec. O 'twill be precious ! 
Heard you the owl yet ?' 

Stad. Briefly in the copse, 
As we came through now. 

' Utard ym llu owl ytl, Si,c. 

'Tit high timtfor ui then] So in Shaketpeare'i Macbtlk ; 
" 3. Wilch. Harper crira :— 'TU time, 'ti« rime." 


Hec. Tis high time for os dien. 

Stad. There was a bat hung at my lips three times 
As we came through the woods, and drank her fill : 
Old Puckle saw her. 

Hec. You are fortunate still ; 
The Tery screech-owl lights upon your shoulder 
And woos you, like a pigeon. Are you fumish'd ? 
Have you your ointments ? 

Stad. All. 

Hec. Prepare to flight then ; 
I'll overtake you swifdy. 

Stad. Hie thee, Hecate ; 
We shall be up betimes. 

Hec. ril reach you quickly. 

[Exeunt all the ffltches except Hecate. 

Fiee. They are all going a-birding to-night : they 
talk of fowls i' th' air that fly by day ; I am sure 
they'll be a company of foul sluts there to-night : 
if we have not mortality afler^t, Fll be hanged, for 
they are able to putrefy it, to infect a whole region. 
She spies me now. 

Hec. What, Firestone, our sweet son ? 

Fire. A little sweeter than some of you, or a 
dunghill were too good for me. \_Ande. 

Hec. How much hast here ? 

Fire. Nineteen, and all brave plump ones. 
Besides six lizards and three serpentine eggs. 

Hec Dear and sweet boy ! what herbs hast 

FiBE. I have some marmariin and mandragon. 

Hec Marmaritin and mandragora, thou wouldst 

Fire. Here's panax too— I thank thee — my pan 
aches, I'm sure. 
With kneeling down to cut 'em. 

Hec. And selago. 




Hedge-hyssop too : how near he goes my cuitiDgs ! 
Were they aU cropt by moonlight ? 

FiKB. Every blade of 'em. 
Or I'm a i roon-calfc m other. 

Hsc.' llie^ee noma with 'em : 
Look well to the house to-night; I'm for aloft. 

FufcB. Aloft, quotb you? I would you would 
break your neck once, that I might have all quicklv ! 
[Ande,"] — Hark, hark, mother ! they are« above the 
steeple already, flying over your heaid wiUi a noise^ 
of musicians. 

Hec. They're they indeed. Help, help me ; I'm 
too late else. 

Song above.^ 

Come away, come away, *" • 

Hecate, Hecate, come away ! 
Hec I come, I come, I come, I come, 
With all the speed I may. 
With all the speed I may. 
Where's Stadlin ? 
{^Voice above.^ Here. 

^ noise'] i. e. company : see note, vol. ii. p. 498. 

* Song above. 

Come auHty, come away, &c. 

Or cannon** throat our height can reach] In act iii. sc. 5 of 
Davenant's alteration of Macbeth, this passage is inserted, 
with some variations. It is so hig^hly fanciful, and comes 
in so happily where Davenant has placed it (viz. immediately 
after these lines of the original Macbeth — 

" Song [triMt»]. Come away, come away, &c« 
Hecate. Hark, I am call'd; my little spirit, see, 
Sits in a foggy cloud, and stays for mc.") 

that one it almost tempted to believe it was written by 
Shakespeare, and had been omitted in the printed copies of 
his play. Till the MS. of The Witch was discovered, towards 
the end of the last century, the passage in question was of 
course supposed to be the composition of Davenant* 




Hec Where's PadJe ? 

[Vciee aho^eS] Here ; 

And Hoppo tooy and Hdlwain too ; 
We lack bat yon, we lack but yoa ; 
Come awaj, make up the coont. 
Hec. I will but 'noint, and then I momt. 

{A Spirit Uke a cat detcernds. 
[VoHX aboct.'] There's one conies down to fetch 
his dues, 
A kiss, a coll,^ a sip of blood ; 
And why thou stay'st so long 

I muse, I muse, 
Since the air's so sweet and good. 
Hec. O, art thou come ? 

What news, what news ? 
Spirit. All goes still to our delight : 
Either come, or else 

Refuse, refuse. 
Hec. Now I'm fumish'd for the flight. 
Fire. Hark, hark, the C4t sings a brave treble in 
her own language ! 

Hec. [going up] 'Sovf I go, now I fly, 
i A Malkin my sweet spirit and I. 

iW- ^ what a dainty pleasure 'tis 

\ \r* 'To ride in the air 

j^*^ Nw When the moon shines fair, 

/ And sing and dance^ and toy and kiss ! J 
_Overjwr m)ds.^igh rocks, and mountaing^ 
ver seas, our mistress' fountains. 
Over steep* towers and turrets. 
We fly by night, 'mongst troops of spirits : 

y coW] i. e. embrace. 

' Over steep, &c.] Davenant g^ves, 

** Over steeples, towers, and turrets" 

which I suspect is the true reading : compare what Hecate 
says at p. 2()0, 

** In moonlight nights, on stdepU'tops" &c. 


No ring of bells to our ears sounds. 
No howls of wolves, no yelps of hounds ; 
No, not the noise of water's breach, 
Or cannon's throat our height can reach. 

{Foicet above.] No ring of bells, ^c. 

Fire. Well, mother, I thank your kindness : yoa \ ^^ 
must be f^ambotlin^^ i' th' air, and leave me t o walk 1 
'here like a fool and a mortal. \_Exil. ' 


An A'partmenl tn the Duke's House. 

Enter ALMAciiiLbES. 

Alm. Though the fates have endued me with a 
pretty kind of lightness, that 1 ca n laugh at the 
world jn^ corner on' tj and can make myself merry 
onTasting nights to rub out a supper (which were 
a precious quality Tri a youn^ formal student), yet 
let the world know there is some difference betwi> ■ 
my jovial condition and the lunary s 

bawd Tro m an aqua-vitK sliop,' 
~w i Id h re, " a n3 " a"Beadle from bri: 
I try the honesty oT a great w 
reckoning the duke's made away, I'll be har_ 
1 be not the next now. If I trust her, as she's s 
woman, let one of her long hairs wind about mj 
heart, and be the end of me ; which were a piteom 
lamentable tragedy, and might be entituled A fail 
Warning for alt, hair-bracclets-'' 
Already there's an insurrection 

' aqua-Vila iftop] See nole, p. 239. 

'■ A fair Warmiig, &c.] So there is an old play entitlei 
A Warning for Jaire Women, 1S!)9, 410, the author unknown. 

dispeople: dker are up inarms 
Sot o«t of SBT raaoB, imt tbeir wilis, 
Wkick are in than dieir saints, sweating and swear- 

Ont of their ical to mdcness, that no strainer. 
As ther term her, shaD gorem OTer them ; 
TWt sa t therU raise a dnke among thems^TCS 

DucH. O Afanacfaildes, I perceive already 
Onr loves are bom to curses ! we're beset 
Bt multitades ; and, which is worse, I fear me 
Unfriended too of any : my chief care 
Is for tfav sweet vouth's safety. 

Alm. He that believes you not 
Goes the right way to heaven, o' my conscience. 


DccH. There is no trusting of'em; they're all 
as barren 
In pity as in faith : he that puts confidence 
In them, dies openly to the sight of all men, 
Not with his friends and neighbours in peace private ; 
But as his shame, so his cold farewell is. 
Public and full of noise. But keep you close, sir, 
Not seen of any, till I see the way 
Plain for your safety. I expect the coming 
Of the lord governor, whom I will flatter 
With fair entreaties, to appease their wildness ; 
And before him take a great grief upon me 
For the duke*s death, his strange and sudden loss ; 
And when a quiet comes, expect thy joys. 

Alm. I do expect now to be made away 
'Twixt this and Tuesday night : if I live Wednesday, 
Say I have been careful, and shunn*d spoon-meat. 

\_Aside and exit. 


^^ DucH. This fellow lives too long after the deed ; 
^Tu weary of his sight ; he must die quickly, y 

^^ I've smaU hope of safety. My great aim 's \ 
^^ the lord governor's love ; he is a spirit 
^^ sway and countenance ; these obey and crouch. 

' — ^^t rith > V^^ ***" Biiirpfffi y""i»i»"'^o«, 
'^'^"^nd dim IBi*1^^ -ds with j a^^'ftw^e. pXJua^lgry, 

^ot to be seen with dazzled popular eyes : 

Jbd here behold him come. 

Enter Lord Governor^ attended by Gentlemen, 

Gov. Return back to 'em, 
Say we desire 'em to be friends of peace 
Till they hear farther from us. [^Exeunt Gentlemen. 

DucH. O my lord, 
I fly unto the pity of your nobleness, 
The grieved*st lady that was e'er beset 
With storms of sorrows, or wild rage of people ! 
Never was woman's grief for loss of lord 
Dearer^ than mine to me. 

Gov. There's no right done 
To him now, madam, by wrong done to yourself; 
Your own good wisdom may instruct you so far : 
And for the people's tumult, which oft grows 
Prom liberty, or rankness of long peace, 
I'll labour to restrain, as I've begun, madam. 
Ducii. My thanks and praises shall ne'er forget 
you, sir. 
And, in time to come, my love. 

Gov, Your love, sweet madam ? 
You make my joys too happy ; I did covet 
To be the fortunate man that blessing visits, 
AVhich I'll esteem the crown and full re\vard 
Of service present and deserts to come : 

^ Dearer"} i. e. more afiBictive. 

308 fM WITCH. 

It is a happiness IH be bold to sne for. 
When I have set a calm upon these spirits 
That now are up for min. 

DucH. Sir, my wishes 
Are so well met in yours, so foirly answer'd. 
And nobly recompens'd, it makes me suffer 
In those extremes that few haTe ever felt ; 
To hold two passions in one heart at once. 
Of gladness aiui of sorrow. 

Gov. Then, as the olive 
Is the meek ensign of fair firuitfiil peace. 
So is this kiss of yours. 

DccH. Love's power be with you, sir ! 

Gov. How sh'as betray'd her ! may I breathe no 
Than to do virtue service, and bring forth 
The fruits of noble thoughts, honest and loyal ! 
This will be worth th' observing ; and I'll do't. 

{Aside and exit, 

DucH. What a sure happiness confirms joy to me. 
Now in the times of my most imminent dangers ! 
I look'd for ruin, and increase of honour 
Meets me auspiciously. But my hopes are clogg'd 

With an unworthy weight ; there's the misfortune ! 
What course shall I take now with this young man ? 
For he must be no hinderance : I have thought on't ; 
ril take some witch's counsel for his end. 
That will be sur'st : mischief is mischief's friend. 



An Apartment in Fernando's House, 

Enter Sebastian and Fernando. 

Seb. If ever you knew force of love in life, sir, 
Give to mine pity. 


^£r/ You do ill to doubt me. 
^^^B. I could make bold with no friend seemlier 
'^D with yourself, because you were in presence 
^^ Our vow-making. 
Per. I'm a witness to't. 

Seb. Then you best understand, of all men living, 
1^18 is no wrong I offer, no abuse 
Either to faith or friendship, for we're register'd 
Husband and wife in heaven ; though there wants 

Which often keeps licentious men ^ in awe 
From starting from their wedlocks, the knot public, 
Tis in our souls knit fast ; an d how more precious \ \y^ 
The soul is jhan t he body rso^lTrngTrj u3gg" 
^Ttle -iacred]an3'^estial tie w i thin us 

More tha n tnFoutward form, \vliich calls but witness 
"Hiefe^DQn earth to what is done m Ke~aven : ^ 
^ Though I must needs confess the least is honour- 
able ; 
As an ambassador sent from a king 
Has honour by th* employment, yet there's greater 
Dwells in the king that sent him ; so in this. 

Enter Florida. 

Fer. I approve all you speak, and will appear 
to you 
A faithful, pitying friend. 

Seb. j»ook j there is she, sir. ^ 

Pne goodfor nothingjbiu^tajiiake use of; 
And I^nTconsiraTn^ t employ her to mate all things 
Plain, easy, and probable ; for when she comes 
And finds one here that claims him, as Tve taught 
Both this to do*t, and he to compound with her. 
Twill stir belief the more of such a business. 

« wen] MS. " man." 


THE WTtcn. 

Fer. I praise tlie carriage well. 

Seb. Hark you, sweet mistresa, 
I shall (1(1 you a simple turn in this ; 
For she disgrac'd thus, you are \ip in favour ] 
For ever with her husband. 

Flo, That's my hope, sir, 
1 would not take the pains else. Have you iba^ 
Of the garden-side, that I may get betimes in 
Closely, and take her lodging 1 

Seb. Yes, I've thought upon you; 
Here be the keys. [Giving jtey*. 

Flo. Marry, and thanks, sweet sir : 
Set me to work so still. 

Seb. Your joys are false ones. 
You're like to lie alone ; you'll be deceiv'd 
Of the bed- fellow you look for, else my pui_ 
Were in an ill case : he's on his fortnight's journey] 
You'll find cold comfort there ; a dream will be 
Even the best market you can make lo-niglit. 

She'll not be long now : you may lose uo time 

neither ; 
If she but take you at the door, 'tis enough : 
When a suspect dorti catch once, it burns mainly. 
There may you end your business, and as cunningly 
As if you were i' th' chamber, if you please 
To use but the same art. 
-Flo. What need you urge that 
Which comes so naturally I cannot miss on'l ? 
What makes the devil so greedy of a soul, 
^^ ^uPcause has los t his own , to all joys lost ? 
~rSo 'tis our trade to set snares for other v 
' 'Cause we were once caught ourselves. 

Seb. a sweet allusion ! 
Hell and a whore it seems are partners then 
In one ambition : yet thou'rt here deceiv'd noiu 


TBI inrcH. Sll 

Thou caiut Mt none to hart or wrong her honouTi 
It rather makes it peifecL Best of friends 
That ever love's extremitiet were bless'd with, 
I ftel mine arms with thee, and call my peace 
The oApiiBg of thy friendship. I wiU think 
This oignt my wedding-night ; and with a joj 
Afl rermeiMl as religion can make man's, 
I iriD embraee this blearing. Honest actions 
Are laws unto themtelTes. and" that good feaT 
Winch it on others forc'd, f^ ^ows kindly there. 

~~ " [^Knocking mthin. 

Fib. Hark, hark I one knocks: away, sir; 'tis 
she certainly : [£zil Sebastian. 

It sounds much like a woman's jealous larum. 

Enter Isabella. 

IsA. By your leave, sir. 

Fer. You're welcome, gentlewoman. 

IsA. Our ladyship then stands us in no stead 

now. [Aside. 

One word in private, sir. [JVhapeTi kirn. 

Fek. No, surely, forsooth. 
There is no such here, you've mistook the house. 

IsA. O sir, that have I not j excuse me there, 
I come not with such ignorance ; chink not so, sir. 
'Twas told me at the entering of your house here 
By one that knows him too well. 

Fer. Who should that be 1 

IsA. Nay, sir, betraying is not my profession : 
But here I know he is ; and I presume 
He would give me admittance, if he knew on't. 
As one on 's nearest friends. « 

Feb. You're not his wife, forsooth ? 

IsA. Yes, by my faith, am I. 

Fer. Cry you mercy then, lady. 



Is A. She goes here by the name on 's wife : good 
But the bold strumpet never told me that. [Aside. 

Feb. We are so oft deceiv'd that let our lodgings, 
We know not whom to trust : 'tis such a world. 
There are so many odd tricks now-a-days 
Put upon housekeepers. 

IsA. Why, do you think I*d wrong 
You or the reputation of your house ? 
Pray, shew me the way to him. 

Fer. He*s asleep, lady. 
The curtains drawn about him. 

Is A. Well, well, sir, 
ril have that care Til not disease^ him much, 
Tread you but lightly. — O, of what gross falsehood 
Is man's heart made of! had my first love liv'd 
And returned safe, he would have been a light 
To all men's actions, his faith shin'd so bright. 

[A side f and exit with Fernando. 

Re-enter Sebastian. 

Seb. I cannot so deceive her, 'twere too sinful. 
There's more religion in my love than so. 
It is not treacherous lust that gives content 
T' an honest mind ; and this could prove no better. 
Were it in me a part of manly justice. 
That have sought strange hard means to keep her 

To her first vow, and I t' abuse her first ? 
Better I never knew what comfort were 
In woman's love than wickedly to know it. 
What could the falsehood of one night avail him 
That must enjoy for ever, or he's lost ? 
*Tis the way rather to draw hate upon me ; 

^ disecue"] i. e. disturb. 



FoTi known, *ti««> impotiible >he ghould love me^ 
Ag youth in health to <loat qpon a grief. 

that's TObb'd anci bound t' affect the thief: 

No, he that would sool^s sa credcomfo rtwin 
Muarburn in pure love, li ke T setaph in^ 

Re-enter Isabella. 

IsA. Celio! 

Seb. Sweet madam ? 

IsA* Thou hast deluded me ; 
There's nobody. 

Seb. How ? I wonder he would miss, madam, 
Having appointed too : 'twere a strange goodness 
If heaven should turn his heart now by the way. 

IsA. O, never, Celio ! 

Seb. Yes, I ha' known the like : 
Man is not at his own disposing, madam. 
The bless'd powers have provided better for him. 
Or he were miserable. He may come yet ; 
Tis early, madam; if you would be pleas'd 
T' embrace my counsel, you should see this night 

Since you've bestow'd this pains. 

IsA. I intend so. 

Seb. That strumpet would be found, else she 
should go. 
I curse the time now I did e'er make use 
Of such a plagu e :_sin kno ws not wh at it doesj 



£ £ 



A HaU m Axtokio's Hcmm, 
Enter Frakcisca aboce.^ 

Fkah. Tis now my brother's tune, even nmcfa 
about it ; 
For though he dissembled a wYxAe fortnight's ab- 
He comes again to-night ; 'twas so agreed 
Before he went. I must bestir my wits nov^. 
To catch this sister of mine, and bring her name 
To some disgrace first, to preserve mine own : 
There's profit in that cunning. She cast oft 
My company betimes to-night by tricks and slights,^ 
And I was well contented. I'm resolv'd^ 
There's no hate lost between us ; for I know 
She does not love me now, but painfully, 
Like one that's forc'd to smile upon a grief, 
To bring some purpose forward ^ and I'll pay her 
In her own metal. They're now all at rest, 
And Caspar there, and all : list ! fast asleep ; 
He cries it hither : I must disease you straight, sin 
For the maid- servants and the girls o' th' house, 
I spic'd them lately with a drowsy posset,^ 
They will not hear in haste. [Noise ivithinJ] My 
brother's come : 

^ Enter Francitca above'] MS. has, ** Enter Franeieca in ber 
Chamber ;" but it is evident that she entered on what was 
called the upper stage : see note, yoL ii. p. 125. 

** slights'] I. e. artifices. 

*^ resolv'd] L e. satisfied, convinced. 

' He cries it hither : I must disease you straight, sir. 
For the maid-servants and the girls o* th* house, 
I spic'd them lately with a drowsy posset] Cries, i. e. snores 
— disease, i. e. disturb, waken. It was formerly a general cus- 
tom to eat possets just before bed -time. — Steevens compares 


O9 wbere's this key now for him ? here 'tis, happily : 
But I must wake him first. — Why, Caspar, Caspar ! 

Gas. [witlun] What a pox gasp you for ? 

Fkan. Now I'll throw't down. 

Gas. [within] Who's that call'd me now ? some- 
body call'd Caspar ? 

Peak. O, up, as thou'rt an honest fellow, Caspar ! 

Gas. [within] I shall not rise to-night then. 
What's die matter ? 
Who's that ? young mistress ? 

Fran. Ay ; up, up, sweet Caspar ! 

Enter Casparo. 

My sister hath both knock'd and call'd this hour, 
And not a maid will stir. 

Cas. They'll stir enough sometimes. 

Fran. Hark, hark, again ! Caspar, O run, run, 
prithee ! 

Cas. Cive me leave to clothe myself. 

Fran. Stand'st upon clothing 
In an extremity ? Hark, hark again ! 
She may be dead ere thou com'st : O, in quickly ! — 

\_Exit Gasparo. 
He's gone : he cannot choose but be took now. 
Or met in his return ; that will be enough. — 

Enter Antonio. 

Brother ? here, take this light. 
Ant. My careful sister ! 

this passage with the following one of Shakespeare's Macbeth^ 
act ii. sc. 2 ; 

" the surfeited grooms 
Do mock their charge with snores : I have drugged their pos- 
sets" &c. 

and observes, that Macbeth's expression, act ii. sc. 1, " There's 
no such thing/' is likewise used by Francisca (see p. 317), 
when she undeceives her brother. 



Fran. Look first to liis own lodging ere j-^^ 
enter. {_Exit AHTono, 

Ant. [tvithin] O abus'd conlidence 1 tliere's no- 
thing of him 
But what betrays him more. 

Frah. Then 'tis too true, brother ! 

Ant. [n'trAin] FU make base lust a lerriblC'l 
ample ; 
No villanv e'er paid dearer. 

Flo.' (mthmi Help ! bold, sir ! 

Ant. [witAwi] Fm deaf to all humanity. 

Fran. List, list ! 
A strange and sudden silence afler all : 
1 trust has spoil'd 'em both ; too dear a bappin 
bow I tremble between doubts and Joys ' 

Ant. r»ri(Ain] There perish both, down t 
of falsehood. 


house o 
Where perjurous wedlock weeps I 

l^Re-entering ivUh his sKord dramu 
O perjurous woman ! 
Sh'ad took the innocence of sleep upon ber 
At my approach, and would not see me come ; 
As if sh'ad lain there like a harmless soul. 
And never dream'd of mischief. What's alt<^ 

I feel no case ; the burden's not yet off 
So long as the abuse sticks in my knowledge. 
O, 'lis a pain of hell to know one's shame ! 
Had it been hid and done, 't bad been done liappy. 
For he that's ignorant lives long and merry. 
Fran. I shall know all now. [Aside.}— Broi^ 
Ant. Come down quickly, 
For I must kill tbee too. 
Fbak. Me? 
Ant. Stay not long : 

' Fh.'} MS, '■ Fra." 


If tbon desir'st to die with little pain, 
Make haste I'd wish thee, and come willingly ; 
If I be forc'd to come, 1 shall be cruel 
Above a man to thee. 

Fran. Why, sir ! — ^my brother ! 

Ant. Talk to thy soul, if thou wilt talk at all ; 
To me thou'rt lost for ever. 

Fran. This is fearful in you : 
Beyond all reason, brother, would you thus 
Reward me for my care and truth shewn to you ? 

Ant. a curse upon 'em both, and thee for com- 
pany ! 
'Tis that too diligent, thankless care of thine 
Makes me a murderer, and that ruinous^ truth 
That lights me to the knowledge of my shame. 
Hadst thou been secret, then had I been happy, 
And had a hope, like man, of joys to come : 
Now here I stand a stain to my creation ; 
And, which is heavier than all torments to me. 
The understanding of this base adultery ; 
And that thou toldst me first, which thou deserv'st 
Death worthily for. 

Fran. If that be the worst, hold, sir, 
Hold, brother; I can ease your knowledge** straight, 
By my soul's hopes, I can ! there's no such thing. 

Ant. How ? 

Fran. Bless me but with life, 1*11 tell you all : 
Your bed was never wrong'd. 

Ant. What ? never wrong'd ? 

Fran. I ask but mercy as I deal with truth now : 
*Twas only my deceit, my plot, and cunning, 
To bring disgrace upon her ; by that means 
To keep mine own hid, which none knew but she : 
To speak troth, I had a child by Abcrzanes, sir. 

f ruinotu'\ MS. " ruynes." 

•» knowkdge'] Altered by Reed to ** conscience." 

Wroa^ ;«• into . 

And u jmr "■—'-g nM*4 sp Oaspar wAtmlj. 
Seal Ion bat in Wfiwv yoa, bf > fa lig haod, 
Whirii to joar kiadled jeaioofy I kucir 
WoaU add wma g h : wfaai** now confeas'd ia tnw. 

AsT. The more I hear, tbe vona ii &ies willi me. 
1 ha* kill'd 'oa now for nothtag ; nt the •hane 
FoHifws Btjr Uood uin. Onn nwR. mne dowa : 
Look yon, njr avord goea op. [^Sttmtkiag (aarA] 

Call Uennio to me : 
Let the new man akoe ; bell wake wo kkw 

[£n( FuAxcacA atwat . 
To find hb tnblren dead, and loae a Mrviee. 
Already ibe daj breaks upon mj gtiflt ; 

Enter He Kino. 
I muit be brief and sudden, — Hermio. 

Hbr. Sir ! 

Amt. Run, knock up Abersanes speedQy: 
Suji I doife his company this iDoming 
Til yonder horse-race, leU htm ; that will fetch 

O, hark you, by the way [TUiperc. 

Hub. Ve«,«ir. 

Ant, U gc gpeed now. 
Or I will nr'eT use thee more ; and, perhaps, 
I ipMik in a right hour. My grief o'eiflaws ; 
I must in private go and rent my woea, [J" 



A Hall in Antonio's House, 

Enter Antonio ^ and Aberzanes. 

Ant. You're welcome, sir. 

Aber. I think I'm worthy on't. 
For, look you, sir, I come untruss'd,^ in troth. 

Ant. The more's the pity — honester men go to't — 
That slaves should 'scape it. What blade have you 
got there ? 

Aber. Nay, I know not that, sir : I am not ac- 
quainted greatly with the blade ; I am sure 'tis a 
good scabbard, and that satisfies me. 

Ant. *Tis long enough indeed, if that be good. 

Aber. I love to wear a long weapon ; 'tis a thing 

Ant. I pray, draw it, sir. 

Aber. It is not to be drawn. 

Ant. Not to be drawn ? 

Aber. I do not care to see't: to tell you troth, 
sir, 'tis only a holyday thing, to wear by a man's 

Ant. Draw it, or I'll rip thee down from neck to 

navel, v/ 

Though there's small glory in't. 

Aber. Are you in earnest, sir ? 

Ant. I'll tell thee that anon. 

Aber. Why, what's the matter, sir ? 

Ant. What a base misery is this in life now ! 

* Antonio] MS. has " Sebastian," and prefixes " Seb." to 
the first and third speeches in this scene. 

^ untruss'd] i. e. the points or tagged laces by which the 
hose or breeches were attached to the doublet, being yet 


This slave bad so much daring courage in him 
To act a sin would shame whole generations, 
But hath not so much honest strength about hiH 
To draw a sword in way of satisfaction. 
This shews thy great guilt, that thou dar'st not fight. 

Aber. Yes, I dare fight, sir, in an honest cause. 

Ant. Why, come then, slave ! thou'st made my 
sister a whore. 

Aber. Prove that an honest cause, and 111 be 

Ant. So many starting holes ? can I light no way? 
Go to, you shall have your wish, all honest play. — 
Come forth, thou fruitful wickedness, thou seed 
Of shame and murder ! take to thee in wedlock 
Baseness and cowardice, a fit match for thee ! — 
Come, sir, along with me. 

Enter Francisca. 

Aber. 'Las, what to do ? 
I am too young to take a wife, in troth. 

Ant. But old enough to take a strumpet though : 
You'd fain get all your children beforehand, 
And marry when you've done ; that's a strange 

course, sir. 
This woman I bestow on thee : what dost thou say? 
Aber. I would I had such another to bestow on 

you, sir ! 
Ant. Uncharitable slave! dog, coward as thou 
To wish a plague so great as thine to any ! 

Aber. To my friend, sir, where I think I may 

be bold. 
Ant. Down, and do't solemnly ; contract your- 
With truth and zeal, or ne'er rise up again. 


I wfll not have ber die i' th' state of strumpet, 
Thoagb she took pride to live one. — Hermio, the 

Enter Hermio with wine. 

HsR. Tis here,* sir. — Troth, I wonder at some 

But I'll keep honest. [Aside, 

Ant. So, here's to you both now, [They drink. 
And to your joys, if 't be your luck to find 'em : 
I tell you, you mustjveep hard, if you do. 
Divide it 'twixt you both ; you shall not need 
A strong bill of divorcement after that. 
If you mislike your bargain. Go, get in now ; 
Kneel and pray heartily to get forgiveness 
Of those two souls whose bodies thou hast mur- 


[Exeunt Aberzanes and Francisca. 
Spread, subtle poison ! Now my shame in her 
Will die when I die ; there's some comfort yet. 
1 do but think how each man's punishment 
Proves still a kind of justice to himself. 

I was the man that told this innocent gentlewoman, i y 

Whom I did falsely wed and falsely kill, \ / 

That he that was her husband first by contract / v/ 

W^as slain i' th' field ; and he's known yet to live : 
So did I cruelly beguile his heart, 
For which I'm well rewarded ; so is Caspar, 
Who, to befriend my love, swore fearful oaths 
He saw the last breath fly from him. I see now 
'Tis a thing dreadful t' abuse holy vows, 
And falls most weight[il]y. --'' 

Her. Take comfort, sir ; 
You're guilty of no death ; they're only hurt. 
And that not mortally. 

9tt TEE 

EfUer Gasfaeo. 

AiTT. Thou breath'st untnitlis. 
Hbe. Speak« Caspar, for me then. 
Gas. Your unjust rage, sir. 
Has hurt me without cause. 

Ant. Tis chang'd to grief for*t. 
How fares my wife ? 

Gas. No doubt, sir, she fives wdl. 
For she ne'er felt your fury. The poor sinner 
That hath this seven year ktpt herself sound for 

Tis your luck to bring her into th' surgeon's hands 
Ant. Florida? 

Gas. She : I know no other, sir ; 
You were ne'er at charge yet but with one light- 
Ant. Why, where's your lady ? where's my wife 

to-night then ? 
Gas. Nay, ask not me, sir; your struck doe 
Tells a stimnge tale of her. 

Ant. This is unsufierable ! 
Never had man such means to make him mad. 

that the poison would but spare my life 
Till I had found her out ! 

Her. Your wish is granted, sir : 
Upon the faithfulness of a pitying servant, 

1 gave you none at all ; my heart was kinder. 
Let not conceit abuy you ; youVe as healthful, 
For any drug, as life yet ever found you. 

Ant. Why, here's a happiness wipes off mighty 
sorrows : 
The benefit of ever-pleasing service 
Bless thy profession ! — 


Enter Lord Qovemor^ attended by Gentlemen, 

O my worthy lord, 
IVe an ill bargain, never man had worse ! 
The woman that, unworthy, wears your blood 
To countenance sin in her, your niece, she's false. 

Gov. False? 

Akt. Impudent, adulterous. 

Gov. You're too loud, 
And grow too bold too with her virtuous meekness. 

Enter Florida. 

Who dare accuse her ? 

Flo. Here's one dare and can. 
She lies this night with Celio, her own servant ; 
The place, Femando's house. 

Gov. Thou dost amaze us. 

Ant. Why, here's but lust translated from one 
baseness s 

Into another : here I thought t' have caught 'em, 
But lighted wrong, by false intelligence, 
And made me hurt the innocent. But now 
m make my revenge dreadfuller than a tempest ; 
An army should not stop me, or a sea 
Divide *em from my revenge. \_ExU. 

Gov. I'll not speak 
To have her spar'd, if she be base and guilty ; 
If otherwise, heaven will not see her wrong'd, 
I need not take care for her. Let that woman 
Be carefully look'd to, both for health and sure- 

ness. — 
It is not that mistaken wound thou wear'st 
Shall be thy privilege. 

Flo. You cannot torture me 
Worse than the surgeon does : so long I care not. 

[_Exit with Gasfaro and a Gentleman, 


Got. If she be^ adoltaoas, I will never trust 
Virtues in women ; they're hat veils for lost. 

\^Ejai wUk GenikmeiL 

HxK. To what a lasting min misdiief runs ! 
I had thought I'd wdl and ha^Oy ended aU, 
In keepii^ back the poison ; and new rage now 
Spreads a worse Tenom. My poor lady grieves me : 
'Tis strange to me that her sweet-seeming virtues 
Should be so meanly overtook with Celio, 
A servant : 'tis not possible. 

Enter Isabella amd Sebastian. 

IsA. (jood morrow, Hermio : 
My sister stirring yet ? 

Her. How ? stirring, forsooth ! 
Here has been simple stirring. Are you not hurt, 

madam ? 
Pray, speak ; we have a surgeon ready. 

IsA. How ? a surgeon ! ^ 

Her. Hath been at work these five hours. 

IsA. How he talks ! 

Her. Did you not meet my master ? 

IsA. How, your master ? 
Why, came he home to-night ? 

Her. Then know you nothing, madam T 
Please you but walk in, you shall hear strange 

Is A. Tm much beholding^ to your truth now, am 
I not ? 
You've serv'd me fair ; my credit's stain'd for ever! 

[^ExU with Hermio. 

See. This is the wicked'st fortune that e'er blew : 

^ ](fshe be, &c.] The MS. makes these two lines a part of 
Florida's speech. 
^ beholding] See Dote, p. 286. 


The jibode of Hecate i a caldron in the centre. 
Enter Ducheti, Hecate, and Fiacstoke. 

Hec. What deatli is't you desire for Almachildes? 

Ductl. A sudden and a subtle. 

Hsc. Then I've fitted you. 
Here lie the gifts of both ; sudden and subtle : 
His picture made in nax, and gently molten 
By a blue fire kindled with dead men's eyes, 
Will waste him by degrees. 

DucH. In what time, prithee ! 

Hec. Perhaps in a moon's progress. 

Ddch. What, a month? 
Out upon pictures, if they be so tedious ! 
Give me things nith some life. 

Hec. Then seek no farther. 

DvcH. This must be done with speed, despatcli'd 
this night, 
If it may possible. 

Hec. I have it for you ; 
Here's that will do't : stay but perfection's timet 
And that's not five hours hence. 

DucH. Canst thou do this 7 

Hec. Can I ! 

DucH. J mean, so closely. 

Hec. So closely do you mean tool 

Ducu. So artfully, so cunningly. 

Hec. Worse and worse; doubts and incredulities! 
They make me mad. Let scrupulous creatures 

Icwtfc'i fimndiaoa bdlaw. and ibe spirits 
Of tfcc cBMMk'd to hsm OB frtim dmr iMrblea, 
Nay, ixv y d w— to ■; uTolr'd ilengna ! 

FiB>. I bww u weQ as can be nlwii ny mother's 
inad, and oar gnai eai angry, &>r ooe spits Frend 
then, and tk' ntfacr (pits Liiia. [jftafr. 

Decb. I did ikoc dovbt yon, motbet. 
Hec. No! wliaididyont 
My power's so finn, tt is not to be qnesboii'd. 
DccH. Foi^ve irbat*s past: and box 1 know tb' 
Thai Tcxes an, IH sbnn tb' ooasMMi ever. 

Hec. Leave all la nw and my five sisinv, 
It shall be convey'd n at bowkt-tune ; 
[ Take yon no care : my sptrits know tbeir moments ; 

Om iwM, kcl Olid. Mil. (iL 1»», where Ihr int line a 

\i quoled, ■* in mv lat, bj CanL Agrippa, Ow^. 
riiiiai. iiD. L cap- Ixxii. p. 113. (^ t. L cd. Lug^t by 
B. 8c«i. Difmtru ^ IFiUt^^ L lu. c ni. p. 225, cd. iST * 
aad bf Bfldiiius /V Magrrvm D^m 

61(0, id. I59D. Fn» dw bn-n 
iddletm^ M«m« m bam RBaaeribe 

' ei, • fiae aAo ■■ Dfmmi nmf," ke. 



fiaren or screech-owl never fly by th' door 

But they call in — I liiank "em — and they lose not 

J pre 'em bfueley «oiik'd ia iutaata' blood j 
Iliey shall have temkut cam tanguime, 
Tbeir goi^ CTanim'd fiill, if they come once to our 

Ve are no niggard. [^Exit Ducheu. 

FiKB. Tbey far« bat too well when thej come 
hither ; they eat up as much t'other night as would 
bare made me a good contcionsble pudding. 
Hxc. Give me somfl lisard's • brain ; quickly, 

[FiBBsToHE hringt the different ingredient! 

for tie charm, at Hecate calls for them. 

Where's grannam Stadlin, and all the rest o' th' 

Fire. All at hand, forsootb. 

Enter Stadlis, Hoppo, and other IVitchei. 

Hec. Give me raarmaritin, some bear-breech : 
when ?' 

Fire. Here's bear-breech and lizard's - brain, 

Hcc. Into the vessel ; 
And fetch three ounces of the red-hair'd girl 
1 kill'd last midnight. 

Fire. Whereabouts, sweet mother 7 

Hec. Hip ; hip or flank. Where is the acopus !" 

FittE. You shall have acopus, forsooth. 

Hec. Slir, stir about, whilst I begin the charm. 

' when} See note, vol. i. p. 164. 


I am uneerli 

tin »bout (be mtaning of this word. 

Plby meniio 

at an herb, 

and also a acone, called acop«, .- tie 

Hitl. Nat. lil 


>. iT. t. ii. p. *23, and lib. iKX»ii. 


Black spirits" and white, red spirits and gray, 
Mingle, mingle, mingle, you tbat mingle may ! 
Titty, Tiffin, 
Keep it stiff in; 
Fired rake, Puckey, 
Make it lutky ; 
Liard, Robin, 
You must bob in. 
Round, around, around, about, about ! 
All ill come running in, all good keep o 
First Witch. Here's the blood of a ' 
Hec. Put in that, O, put in that! 
. Here's libbard's-bane. 





First Witch. The juice of load, ibe oil of adder. 

Sec, WiTcu. Those will make tjie younker madder. 

Hec. Put in — there's all — and rid the stench. 

Fire. Nay, here's three ounces of the red-hair'd 

All the Witches. Round, around, around, &c. 

Hec So, bo, enough : into the vessel with it._3 
There, 't bath tbe true perfection. I'm 
At any mischief! there's no villany 
But is a tune, methinks. 

Firb. A tune ? 'tis to the tune of damnation 
then, 1 warrant you, and ibal aong hath a villanouB 
burchea [^As'tde. 

■ Blatli ipirif and vikilt, rtd tpirili aiuf gray, 

Mingle, eiiaglt, mingle, ym Ihal mingli fnoj] Preceded in 
MS. by the wonls " A charmi Song aboiU a I'iikU," — ii the 
" Song" of the KJlcbei " mbouc the caldron," Macbeth, set iv. 
>c. 1. Id the folios of Shakespeare ne find only " Mmticki 
and a Seng. Slaeht Spirilt, ^. :" in later editions the reic h>s 
been supplied from Davenant'i nllcralion aX Maebetk, (ace 
DOM, p. SOS] where what follow! in oui text i* inaerted, with 

a grain 

a apecioua reading, 



Hec Come, my sweet sisters ; let the airP strike 
our tune. 
Whilst we shew reverence to yond peeping moon. 
[T'Acjr daitce the Wilchet' Dance, and exeunt. 

' Ut tkt air, &C.1 So the tat Witch Myi in ShtkeapeiTc'i 

" I'tt tharm Iht air (a jtw n unoid. 
While you perform your antic round: 
Thai ihii great king may kindly uy, 
Our dutiei did hit welcome pay. 

Uunek. The Witchti daaee, and TsnUh." 

ActiT. M. I. 
In the pua^e just lUoted, the modem editions wrongly re- 
tain antiqot, the old spelling of onfic. 

" Thoughi" uya Lamh, " aome resemblance may be traced 
between the Charms in Macbeth and tlie Incantations in 
this Play, which is supposed to Iihte preceded it, this coin- 
cidence will not detract much from the originality of Shak- 
speare. His Witches axe distinguished from the Wilchei of 
Middleton by essential differences. These are creatures to 

sort for occasional consultaiian. Those originate deeds of 
blood and begin bad impulses to men. From the moment 
that their eyes first meet with Macbelh's, he is spell-bound. 
That meeting sways his destiny. He can never break the 
fascination. Tliese Witches can hurt the body ; those have 

Eoner aver the soul, Hecate in Middleton has a son, a low 
ufibon: the hags of Shakspeare have neither child of their 

foul Anomalies, of whom ne know not whence they are 
Sjpning, nor whether they base beginning or ending. As 
they are without human passions, ao they seem to be without 
human relations. They come with tliunder and lightning, and 
vanish to airy music. This is all we know of them. Except 
Hecate, they have no names; which heighuns their myste- 
riousness. The names and some of the properties which 
Middleton has given to his Hags excite smiles. The Weird 
Siitera are serious things. Their presence cannot coexist 
with mirth. But, in a lesser degree, the Witches of Middleton 
are fine creations. Their power too is, in some measure, over 
the mind. They raise jars, jealousies, strifes, like a thick tcurf 
o'tr lift." Sftc. i^Engl. Oram. PoeU, p. 17*. 


Jb ApartmtaU m tie Bmat ^ftkft Lmd Gaetrmor. 

EmUr Ijori Garerwar, Isabella, Floeida, Ssbasitak, 

GASTAmOt mmd Serrmmts.^ 

IsA. My lord« I'tc giren jon nothing bat the 
Of a most plain and innocent intent. 
Mj wrongs being so i^parent in thb woman — 
A creature that robs wedlock of all comfort. 
Where'er she fastens — I coold do no less 
But seek means privatelT to shame his folly. 
No fiurther reach*d my malice ; and it glads me 
That none but my base injurer is found 
To be my false accuser. 

Got. This is strange. 
That he should give the wrongs, yet seek reTenge. — 
But, sirrah, you ; you are accused here doubly : 
First, by your lady, for a false intelligence 
That caus'd her absence, which much hurts her 

Though her intents were blameless ; next, by this 

For an adulterous design and plot 
Practised between you to entrap her honour. 
Whilst she, for her hire, should enjoy her husband. 
Your answer. 

Seb. Part of this is truth, my lord. 
To which Tm guilty in a rash intent. 
But clear in act ; and she most clear in both, 
Not sanctity more spotless. 

^ Servants] Here the MS. marks also the entnuace of 
** Francbca" and " AhtrzantM :** but they have no speeches 
during the present scene. 


Enter Hekhio. 

Hex. my lord ! 

Gov. What new8 breaks there t 

HxK. Of strange destruction: 
Here stands the lady that within this hour 
Was made a widow. 

Gov. How?' 

Hbk. Your niece, mj lord. 
A fearful, unexpected accident 
Brought death to meet his fury : for my lord 
Entering Femando's house, like a rais'd tempest. 
Which nothing heeds hut its own violent ra^e. 
Blinded with wrath and jealouavi which s corn 

Fro m a taiseTrap-door fell into a depth / 

E itceeda a temple's heigh t, which takes Into it 
Part ^ of the' du npe on tliat^pins threescore fatTiom J 
Under the castle. - ( 

Gov. you seed of lust, 
Wrong s and revenges wrongful, with what te rrors "^ ^ — 
Y oiTdopresent yourselves to wr etchedman | \/ 

W he n hia soul least expects you ! I 

isA. I forgive him — ^ 

All his wrongs now, and sign it with my pity. 

Flo. O my sweet servant ! {^Hmoons. ) 

Gov. Look to yond light mistress. ' 

Gas. She's in a swoon, my lord. 

Gov. Convey her hence; 
It is a sight would grieve a modest eye 
To see a strumpet's soul sink into passion* 
For him that was the husband of another. — 

[Sertantt remote Florida. 
Yet all this clears not you. 

{ Gov. Sebastian! 

Seb. The same, much 

IsA. Am I certain 
Of what mine eye takes j 

Seb. Your service can 
ledge ; 
I am your servant ever. 

Gov. Welcome to life, s 
Caspar, thou swor'st his dt 

Gas. I did indeed, my 1< 
And have been since well p 

/ mouth 
/ Hath_got_me^two or three n 
^^ ^^ SebT I wasdead, sh*. 

Both to my joys and all mer 
Till this my hour of life ; fo 
To make the first of my retu 
A witness to that marriage ; 
I've walk'd beneath myself, i 
' Like one on earth whose joyj 

diVA t^^"gh it h^d he**" ^^**^ 

/ J _^^I^njoymine^wn^, I^^ 
V/ ) Gdv rThe greaterlmd m ore 

For where heaven's bounty hi 

'Tis like a sea, encompassing 

Her. The duchess comes. 

Enter Duchess and 

Gov. Be you then all witn 
Of an intent most horrid. 

DUCH. One r^nr^- -' 


r his meaner fonuni 

rept than 

± took the true height of a prii 

To match unto their greatness. Such lives as his 

Were only made to break the force of fate 

Ere it came at us, and receive the venom. 

'Tin hut a usual friendship for a mistress 

To lose some forty years' life in hopeful time, 

And hainrd an eternal aoul for ever : 

As young as he has donef'tj, and more desertfu). 

Oov. Madam. 

BccB. My lord J 

Gov. This is the hour that I've so long desir'd ; 
The tumuli's full appeas'd ; now may we both 
Exchange embraces with a fortunate arm. 
And practise to make love-knots, thus. 

^\_A curtain U drawn, and the Duke diico- 
tered on a coiicht at if dead. 
Ihrcit. My lord ! 
Gov. Thus, lustful woman and bold murderess, 
Blessed powers. 

To make my loyalty and truth so happy ! 
Look thee, thou shame of greatuess, stain of honour. 
Behold thy work, and weep before thy death 1 
If thou be 'si blest with sorrow and a conscience, 
Which is a gift from heaven, and seldom knocks 
Ai any murderer's breast with sounds of comfort. 
See this thy worthy and unequall'd piece ; 
A fair encouragement for another husband .' 

Dpoh. Bestow me upon death, sir ; I am guilty, 
, And of a cruelty ab ove m y cguse.^ 

Hi » in jury was iqqTow forjny revenge. 
Perform a justice that may light all others 
To noble actions : life is hateful lo me, 
kiioldiiig my (lead lord. Make us an on 


In death, irhom marriage made one of two li¥tBgt 
Till cursed fury parted us : my lord, 
I covet to be like him. 

Gov. No, my sword 
Shall never stain the virgin brightness on't 
With blood of an adulteress. 

DucH. There, my lord, 
I dare my accusers, and defy the world, 
Death, shame, and torment : blood I'm guilty o 
But not adultery, not the breach of honour. 

Gov. No? — Come forth, Almai'hiides ! 

Ddcii. Almachildes 1 
Hath time brought him about to save liimselfJ 
By my destruction ? I om justly doom'd. 

Gov. Do you know this woman? 

Alh. I've known her better, sir, the 

Gov. But she defies you there. 

Alm. Thai's the common trick of them all. 

Dtica. Nay, since I'm touch'd so near, before 
my death then, 
In right of honour's innocence, I'm bold 
To call heaven and my woman here to witness. 
My lord, let her speak truth, or may she perish ! 

Ako, Then, sir, by all the hopes of a maid's 
Either in faithful service or bleat marriage. 
The woman that his blinded folly knew 
Was only a hir'd strumpet, a professor 
Of lust and impudence, which here is ready 
To approve what I have spoken. 

Alm. a common strumpet? 
This comes of scarfs : I'll never more wear 
An haberdasher's shop before mine 

■"t og. I 



Got. My sword ■■ proud thouVt lighten'd of that 
Die then a murdereaa only I 

Duke [ruin^ oiuf embracing her"}. Live a dacheas I 
Better than ever lov'd, embrac'd, and honour'd. 

DucH. My lord ! 

Duke. Nay, since in honour thou canst justly 

Vanish all wrongs, thy former practice dJei ! — v 

I thank thee, Almachildes, for my life, \ 

This lord for truth, and heaven for such a wife, \ 

Who , though her intent ainn'd, yet she make s 

With (i prief aJid honour, virtue's noblest ends. — 
What grlev'd you then shall never more offend 

Your father's skull with honour we'll inter, 
And give the peace due to the sepulchre : 
And in all times may this day ever prove 
A day of triumph, joy, and honest love ! 

{_Exeant omnes. 







The Widdow A Comedie. As it uhu Acted at the private Houh 
m Blaek-Fryers, with great Applause, by His late Majesties 

{Ben: Johnson, '\ 
John Fletcher. > OenL 
The: MiddletoH.) 

Printed by the Originall Copy. Londont Printed for Humphrey 
Moseky and are to be Sold at his Shop, at the Sign qf the Princes 
Arm in St. Pauls Church-yard. 1652. 4to. 

t^ the title-page of a copy of the 4to, in my possegBion, 
" Ben: Johnson" and " John Fletcher" are drawn through with 
a pen, and the word " alone" is written, in an old hand, after 
**Tho: Middleton." 

This drama has been reprinted in the various editions of 
Dodsley's Old Plays (vol. vi. of the first ed. and vol. xii. of 
the last two eds.) ; also in Weber's edition of Beaumont and 
Fletcher*8 Worhs, vol. xiv. 

Malone, by mistake, has stated that " Middleton wrote The 
Widow with Fletcher and Massinger ;" Life of Shakespeare, 
p. 434— (^A. by Bos well, vol. ii.) 

*' He [Ben Jonson] is said to have assisted Middleton and 
Fletcher in writing The Widow, which must have appeared 
about this time [i. e. soon after 1621]. This comedy was very 
popular, and not undeservedly, for it has a considerable de- 
gree of merit I cannot, however, discover many traces of 
Jonson in it The authors' names rest, I believe, on the 
authority of the editor, A. Gough, who sent the play to the 
press in 1652." Such is Gifford's note on Memoirs of B. Jon- 
son, p. cxliv. But in a note on Jonson's New Inn ( Works, 
voL V. p. 433), he says, .that The Widow ** appeared on the 
stage so early as 1618." 

•The last editor of Dodsley's Old Plays thinks " there is in- 
ternal evidence that Ben Jonson contributed to The Widow, 
and it is rather surprising that Mr. Gifibrd did not trace his 
pen through the whole of the fourth act" 

The mention of " yellow bands" as ** hateful" (see act v. 
sc. 1, and note), in consequence of Mrs. Turner's execution, 
November 1615, shews that The Widow was written after that 
period : but in all probability it was produced very soon after, 


ior a pl^, entitled The Hmmtt Immyer, hf S,S^ and printed 
in 1616, contains a ■«!§ it iwifafion of a paan^ in act iv. 
ac 2: Tide nooe. We can hanBy aoppoae tkat the anthor (or 
authon) of Tkt Widmt woold faave buww ir e d firoB the dnona- 
tist jnat mentioned. 

We learn from Sir Heniy Hcrterf a papcn tfttt TV Wiime 
waa one of the stock-pieces bdonging to die Red Boll acton, 
who afterwards became the Idng'a aenranta, aid that it waa 
pUjed in 1660: see Malooe'a liisf. ^ec ^tikt &«iidk Am, 
pp. 27S-5 {SJtaketpemrt, by Bniwell, voL iiL). I>ownca tS» 
mentions that it was periknmed at a auanwhat ktcr period : 
ride Raseims AmgUeamms, p. 17, ed. Waldron. And Langhune 
says, ** It was reriVd not many years ago, at the King's 
House, with a new Prologne and Epflogoe, which the Render 
may find in Londam DnUery, p. 11, 12.*' Jee, rf Em^ Dmm. 
Poets, p. 298. 


Cdksideriko how the curious pay Botne part of their 
eateem to excellent periooa in the c&reful pre* 
servation but of their defaced atatuei ; inatead of 
decayed medals of the Romans' greatness, I believed 
it of more value to present you this lively piece, 
drawn by the art of Jonson, Fletcher, and Middle- 
ton, which is thought to have a near resemblance to 
the portraiture we have in Terence of those worthy 
minds, where the great Scipio and Laaliui strove 
to twist the poel'B ivy with the victor's bays. An 
the one was deserved by their work in subduing 
their country's enemies, so the other by their re- 
creation and delight, which was to banish that folly 
and sadness that were worse than Hannibal or all 
the monsters and venom of Africa. Since our own 
countrymen are not in any thing inferior, it were to 
be wished they had but bo much encouragement, 
that the past license and abuses charged on the 
stage might not ever he thought too unpardonable 
to pass in oblivion, and so good laws and instruc- 
tions for manners, uncapable of being regulated, 
which, if but according to this paltern, certainly 
none need think himself the less a good Christian 
for owning the same desire as 

Your humble servant, 


* AUzander Cpngli] An actor, who, during the supprfiiion 
of the (heatica, " helpl Mr. Mote\y the bookseller to thU 
and several other dramatic Mauuactipta," Langttaine'a /Ice. 
cf Engl. Dtam. FotH, f. 2n. 





; ■■ 


A spoKi onl7 for Cbristinas is the play 
This hour preients t' you ; to make you merry ^ 
la all tb' ambition 't has, and fullest aim 
Bent at your smiles, to win itself a name ; 

And if youT edge be n 
Wearied nith aports, '. 

quite taken off, 
hope 'twill make you laugh. 

" for ihe take of 


Bravdhio, m justice. 

If AETlxo, kU eierk, 



RiCAEDOy suiior to FaUria, 

Two Old Men, tmitors to FaUria. 



Silvio, > Thieves. 



Officerst Servants. 

Valeria, a widow. 

Philippa, her sister ^ wife to Brandino, 

Mart I a, daughter to one rfFaleria^t suitors, and di^msed at 

Viol ETTA, waiting-maid to Phiiippa. 

Scene, Capo d'Isteia and the neighbouring country. 



A Soom n Bkakdiko'b Hotue.' 

Haxtixo atattd at a mitmg-UMe : enter 

Frait. Martinol 

Mar. Signor Francisco ? you're the luckiest gen- 
tleman to meet or see first in a morning : I never 
«aw you yet but I waa aure of money within less 
than half an hour. 

Frah. I bring you the same luck still. 

Mar. What, you do not? I hope, air, you are 
not come for another warrant I 

Fran. Yes, faith, for another warrant. 

Mar. Why, there's my dream come out then. 
I Berer dreamed of a buttock but I was sure to 
have money for a warrant ; it is the luckiest part 
of all the body to me : let every man speak as he 
finds. Now your usurer ia of opinion, that to dream 

wi&in the home. So in A Trick Is catek Ikt OU 0%t, Vol. ii. 
p. 82, Jojce " apptan abaet," and, like Philippi, thnwi down 
a leuer to Witgood, who ii itandiiig in ■ room of Hoard's 
home. See also p. 314 of thii vol. On nieh oo — ' — '*" 
upper stage wai uied : Tide note, toL IL p. 12fi. 


of the devil is your wealthier dreatn ; and I think 
if a man dream of tliat part that brings many to 
the devil, 'tis an good, and haa all one smatch 
indeed, fur if one be the flesh, tli' oiher'a the 
broth : bo 'tis in all his members, and* we mBrlc it ; 
if gluttony be the meat, lechery is the porridge; 
they're both boiled together, and we clerks will 
have our modicum too, though it conclude in the 
twopenny chop. 
Why, sir, signor Francisco ! 

Fran. 'Twas her voice sure, 
Oi my soul takes delight to think it was, 
And makes a sound like her's. 

Mar. Sir, I beseech you — 

Fkak. It is the prettiest-con 
What posy's ' that, I prithee 7 

Mak. Which, sir? that 
Under the great brass squirt f 

F&AN. Ay, that, sir, that. 

Mar. FroTiiJire,/rom water, and all Ihings amitt, 
Deliver the haute of an htmest justice. 

Fran. There's like to be a good house kept then 
when fire and water's forbidden to come into the 
kitchen. — 
Not yet a sight of her ! this hour's unfortunate. — 

And what's that yonder, prithee ? — O love's famine. 
There's no affliction like thee ! [Ande.'}-Ay, I bear 

Mar. You're quicker-ear'd than I theOi 
hear roe 
Before I heard myself. 



wiy'i, &C.] Our anceiton wcr« to fond of /Mix 
- ' ' inacribed on vunoui put! ordiebouM— 

nay, eeen on laeir cheeae- trenchers : tee vol, L p. 31, Ui 

the present vol. p. 98. 

that they liiul them in 




G O 

ai^oc Hoen blnk 

t gn« Be b« the ■■■■• 


pBAS. Tim only h tk* escvc tbai bean tne ou, 
Aai kcc^ off iMimdcacc and svmdMi 
Fnv mj too freqaeat eowag. Wbst nime now 
SkaU I ilink oo, ami nan ta wimg the bouse F 
TkH coxconb will be imdog. [v/mJt.] — One 

Hw offence w3fnl u 

HAi- Wilfttl murder? O, I lore m' life' to hare 
tath a lelloir come mider my fingers ! like a beg- 

(;ar that's long »-taku^ leave of a fat Iona«, I'm 
oath to pan with him ; I must look upon him over 
and over first. Are yoa wilful? i'faith, I'll be as 
wilful as you then, [Write!.. . 

[Philippa and Violitta appear a 
Pbii,. Martino! 
Mam. MiitmsT 

PitiL. Make haste, yonr master's going. 
Mar. I'm but about a nilful murder, forsooiK ; 
I'll despatch that presently. 

Puii.. Good morrow, sir. — O that I dursl say 
more ! [^jitide, and txit aboi'e reith Violetta. 
Fsan. 'Tis gone again : since such are all life's 
No sooner known but lost, he that enjoys 'em 
Thp length of life has but a longer dream, 
He wnkes to this i' ih' end, and sees all nothing. 

[PititirpA ami Violetta appear again aiboee. 


. e. u my life, ekceedingly. 

THE WIDOW. -849 

Phil. He cannot see me now ; Fll mark him 
Before I be too rash. Sweetly composed he is ; 
Now as he stands he's worth a woman's love 
That loves only for shape, as most on 's do : 
But I must have him wise as well as proper,^ 
He comes not in my books else ;^ and indeed 
live thought upon a course to try his wit. 

Vio. Mistress? 

Phil. Yonder's the gentleman again. 
Vio. O sweet mistress, 
Pray give me leave to see him ! 

Phil. Nay, take heed, 
Open not the window, and™ you love me. 

Vio. No, I've the view of [his] whole body here, 
At this poor little slit : O, enough, enough ! 
In troth, 'tis a fine outside. 
Phil. I see that. 

Vio. Has curl'd his hair most judiciously well. 
Phil. Ay, there's thy love now ! it begins in 
barbarism. She buys a goose with feathers that 
loves a gentleman for 's hair ; she may be cozened 
to her face, wench. Away : he takes his leave. 
Reach me that letter hither ; quick, quick, wench. 
[Violetta brings a letter, which Philippa 
presently throws down. 
Mar. [jgiving warrant to Francisco] Nay, look 
upon't, and spare not : every one cannot get that 
kind of warrant from me, signor. Do you see this 

^ j)rop€r'\ i. e. handsome. 

* in my books'\ i. e. in my favour : see more than enough 
concerning this expression, in the notes on Shakespeare's 
Much ado about Nothing ^ act i. sc. 1, and Nares's Gloss, 

■ and] i. e. if. 

VOL. III. H 11 

ahek i dt* fcMua I it bookww power « 
una p'i'T nuk that raa* betwnt the ( 
' «ad mj MMter: ihoas ibt eansM re 
thcj Me this, know 'tii (k lecfaci; oc muder ; and 
lUa hetNg awaj, the wsmni cdbks gdded tml 

FkAX. 1 thank yon, m. 

Mab. I.<Mk yon ; all ibeae i 
Tb^y Irani the punction. 

FkAS. Yn, I »ee th«y do> ai 
Time's for Uiy palni \_giving nmry} i' — mina BMt 

go unrewarded : 
The better love, the worse by fate regarded. 

[Attdt, and exit.' 

MaR' Well, go thy ways for the sweetest custo- 
mer that ever peonian teas blest Withol I Now 
will he come for another to-morrow again : if he 
hold on this course, he will leave never a knave 
i' th' town within this Iwelvcmonlh : no matter. I 
shall be rich enough by that time. 

Phil. Mnrtiuo ! 

M*R- Say you, foraooth ? 

Phil. What jiaper's that the geDtleman 1 
there ? 

Mar, Paper? — 'Tib the warrant, I hopet.i 
he, I'll hide it, and make him pay for't again. Vt, 
pox ! 'tis not to happy. r- . .1 

Peiil. Whalis'l, sirrah ( 

Mar. 'Tis nothing but a letter 

PuiL. Ih that nothing? 

Mah. Nothing in respect of a 

' nil] Here Weber put a snge -dim lion. " 
aail ttU." Wunderdil thnl he ahould have r 
witliout nerceivias lh»l ihe lelter was Ihro 
l*hilj)i|Hil Thvlhereditore adopted Ihe ufer plan of aihlilV J 
nulhiiig lo ilia cUge-directioni of the 4tD. 



Phil. A letter ? why, 't has been many a man's 
undoing, sir. 

Mar. So has a warrant, and^ you go to that, 

Phil. Read but the superscription, and away 
Alas, it may concern the gentleman nearly ! 

Mab. Why, mistress, this letter is at home 

Phil. At home ? how mean you, sir ? 

Mar. You shall hear, mistress [reads'] : — To the 
deservingest of all her sex, and most worthy of his 
best respect and love, mistress Philippa Brandino. 

Phil. How, sir, to me ? 

Mar. To you, mistress. 

Phil. Run, as thou lov'st my honour and thy 
Call him again ; I'll not endure this injury : — 
But stay, stay, now I think on't, 'tis my credit, 
ril have your master's counsel. Ah, base fellow, 
To leave his loose lines thus ! 'tis even as much 
As a poor honest gentlewoman's undoing. 
Had I not a grave wise man to my husband : 
And thou a vigilant varlet to admit 
Thou car'st not whom ! 

Mar. 'Las, 'tis my office, mistress ! 
You know you have a kirtle every year, 
And 'tis within two months of the time now ; 
The velvet's coming over : pray be milder. 
A man that has a place must take money of any 
body : please you to throw me down but half a 
dollar, and I'll make you a warrant for him now ; 
that's all I care for him, 

Phil. Well, look you be clear now from this foul 

° and] i. e. if. 

hpSattmrntitmrnmimyonmaan^a lore to too, 

TW iMtri yvm «e«, ilwD aoi wiinlirw yoa lioe; 
It fAall MM. tnwt to'i. [JEial ■>»■>, mcA Vkh-itta. 

Mam. That m stnoge le ne now: 
Vmn At tlo dm, and bat d^t lOKks to ^nr-yor'g 

A nn llnrt bad hi* blood ■> bot n fan's now 
Wflold it Wr witli Fre&di Telvet : 111 go ne&r it. 

Ea/er BrhIsdivo amd PmuppA. 

Patu If ilai be a vrrong to modest reptitatioa. 
Be you the cenmrer, sir, i^t are ibe ouster 
BoU) of your fame sod mine. 

Bkan. Si^uof Francisco! 
Ill make him fly ihe land. 

Mae. Thai will be hard, sir : 
I think he he not ko well-feather'il, master ; 
Hai spent tlie brit part nf his patrimony. 

PitiL. Hark nih,s bold confederate! 

Ba.<x. ThiTC ihoii'rt bitter ; 
And I tnuit chide ihec now, 

PitiL. What should I think, sir* 
He comes m your nian for warrants. 

Bran, 'J'here it got's then. — 
Come hiilicr, knave: comes he to you for warrants t 

Mas, Wliy, what of that, sir? 
You know I give no warrants to make cuckolds : 
That comes hy fortune and by nature, sir. 

Bran. True, that comes by fortune and ( 
nature.— Wife, 
Why doRt thou wrong this man ? 

MAtt. He needs no warrant, master, that goe« 
nbout such business : a cuckold-maker carries 
always his warrant about htm. 

Bkan. Lr, has he answer'd well now, to the fuUL 
What cauae hast thou i' abuse him 1 


Phil. Hear me out, I prsy : 
Through his adnitUnce, has had opportunity ' 
To come ioto the house, snd court me boldly. 

Bkax. Sinah, you're foul again, methinks. 

Mak. Who, I, sir? 

Bbah. You gave this man admittance into th* 

Max. That's true, sir: you ne'er gave me any 
order yet 
To write my warrants i' th' street. 

Bkah. Why, sure thou tak'st delight 
To wrong this fellow, wife, ha ? 'came I love him. 

Phil. Pray, see the fruits ; see what has lefl 
behind here : 
Be angry where you should be : there's few wives 
Would do as I do. 

Bran. Nay, I'll say that for thee, 
I ne'er found thee but honest. 

Phil. She's a beast 
That ever was found otherways. 

Bban. Read, Martino ; 
Mine eyes are sore already, and such business 
Would put 'em out quite. 

Mar. ^readt letler] Fair, dear, nnd incomparable 

BsAN. O, every letter draws a tooth, methinks ! 

Mar. And it leads mine to watering. 

PuiL. Here's do villany It 

Mar. [retu&J Aly love being so violent, and the 
opportunity to precious in your husband's absence to- 
tughl, who, at I understand, takes a journey this 

' hai luid cpporlutiilg'i In Dodiley's Old Plat/t, and Webpr'i 
B. atd F., we find (among many aimilai improvemtnli of the 
nlelre), " he hat had an sppBrtuttily," 

« Htn'i »a vittms] See note, voL i p. 169. 

, Am Ifaoneat, ifcMk)rMi,«rf 
BaAy. Exaoly Iwiwt, pcHcctly anprov'd.'- 

Mu. [rMdb] / nfl Mir AoU. A«- ■«(»((, 
^A■ii^ «l Iht bmek guU, Itlmttm ■' 


BaAx. 1 fed this Iin»-«*-«oitn n 

Hxft. [iradt] rntrctfjnmr ^ixtim br f 

Mr. jvm nrccwr lAr /kilk/iUltft ikat rrrr 
ier Id woNoa. — f^vmcitco. 
Bkax. I w31 makr Fraaciaco ainan for't I 
Puu. She* him the letter, let lilm know yoa 
know htin ; 
That will Lortnent bitn : all j'out other courses 
Are nolhing, sir, to that ; that breaks his hewc 
Bkak. Tbc «lring« bhltU not hold totig tbM 

Phil. Now if Francisco have any wit at alt. . 
He comes at night ; if not, he never shall. [Jt ' 

The Country : near Frascisco's Houh. 
Enter Francisco, HtciRDO, aiui Attiuo- \ 

Ric. Nay, mark, mark it. FrancUco ; it vrai <j 
Daturallest courtesy that ever was ordaioed t]| 
young gentleman being spent, to have a rich w ' * ~ 
set him up again. To see how fortune has j 

' inyiTuii'i/] Qy. " npprov'd ! " 



Tided for sU mortality's ruins! your college for 
your old-standing scholar, your hospital for your 
Ume-creeping soldier, yoar bawd for your mangled 
roarer,* your open bouse for your beggar, and your 
widow for your gentleman; — ha, Franciscol 

Fkam. Ay, air, you may be merry ; you're ia 
hope of a rich widow, 

R[c, And why shouldet not thou be in hope of 
•nother, if there were any spirit in thee 7 thou art 
■a likely a fellow as any is in the company. Ill be 
lunged now if I do not hit the true cause of thy 
•adneaa ; and confess truly, i'fajth ; thou hast some 
land unsold yet, I hold my life. 

Fbak. Marry, J hope so, sir. 

Ric. A pox on't, have I found it? 'Slight, away 
with't with all speed, man .' I was never merry at 
heart while I had a foot. Why, man, fortune never 
minds us till we are left alone to ourselves ; for 
what need she take care for them that do nothing 
but take care for themselves 1 Why, dost think if 
I had kept my lands still, I should ever have looked 
after a rich widow 1 alas, I should have married 
some poor young maid, got five aod twenty chiU 
dren, and undone myself! 

Fran. I protest, sir, I should not have the face 
though, to come to a rich widow with nothing. 

Ric. Why, art thou so simple as thou makest 
thyself 7 dost think, i'faith, I come to a rich widow 
with nothing ? 

Fran. I mean with state not answerable to her's. 

Ric. Why, there's the fortune, man, that I talk'd 

She knows all this, and yet I'm welcome to her. 
Fran. Ay ? tUt's strange, sir, 

■ rea»r] Stt note on J Fair Quarrtl, act ii. sc. 2. in this voL 


Thereibre to a& vil 

¥tLA%. Wirr. ddf if iiki^ & 

Ric. And as ax a i2im£*s ta&fte, — O bfett 

tom ! — 
A poor indebted ecntlesBiB mar dry. 
Feed well and without iear, aad depart ao^ 
So to her lipt fearless I ooaie aad coc 

Frast. Yon may well boast, Toa're much the 

happier man, sir. 
Rfc. So yoa would be^ and* joa would sidl jonr 

land, sir. 
Frait. I've beard the c iicumsianrr of To«r sweet 
fortunes : 
Prithee give ear to my unlacky tale now. 

Hic. That*s an ill hearing ; bat oome oo for ooce» 

Fkan. I never yet lov'd bat one woman. 
Hic. Right, 
I brgiin so too ; but I've lor'd a thoasand since. 
FuAN. Pray, hear me, sir: bat this is a man's 

I{i(\ So have^ 6ve hundred of my thousand been. 
I'uAN. Nay sec and' you'll re^urd me ! 

' and ] I. •. if. 

* hiue} 01ded.»bas.' 


Ric. No 7 you see I do ; 
I bring you an example in for every thing. 

Fkak. This man's wife 

Ric. So you said. 

FxAH. Seems very strict. 

Ric. Ha, humph I 

Fkan. Do you laugh at that ? 

Ric. Seems very strict, you said ; 
I hear you, man, i'faith ; you're so jealous still ! 

Fkam. But why should that make you laugh ? 

Ric. Because she «eems so : you're such another! 

Frak. Nay, sir, I think she is. 

Ric. You cannot tell" then? 

Fran. I dare not ask the question, I protest. 
For fear of a repulse; nhich yet not ha^g, 
My mind's the quieter, and I live in hope still. 

Ric. Ha, hum ! this 'tis to be a landed man. 
Come, I perceive I must shew you a little of my 
fortune, and instruct you. 
Not ask ilie question ? 

Fbak. Methought still she frown'd, sir. 

Ric. Why that's the cause, fool, that she look'd 

Come, come, make me your noman; you'll ne'er 

do't else ; 
I'll shew you her condition' presently. 
I perceive you must begin like a young vaulter, and 
gel up at iiorse-tail before you get inio the saddle : 
have you the bolilness to utter your mind to me 
now, being but in hose" and doublet? i think, if 
I should put on a farthingale, thou nouldst never 
have the heart to do't. 

■ canaol lelf] i. e. know nol what to »»y, or think, of it : 
tee GiabTd-a note on B. Jonson's Worii, vol. i. p. 125. 

' «Hdi(ion] See note, p. 292. 
' Atue] i. e. breechei. 

Fkak. Prrb^s I ibiMld ■ 

Sic biA>KMti 

e to kiok mfldl; ; I sfaaB 

r 1 fear 1 ibU Ingh M tbae 

Fkav. N«5. joa bbm Aak, (mad. I dare speak 

Bk. TM>UlpH4aaBeft)rtiMt,(naid: 1 will 
Mt dii^ it tffl I aec't. 

Of •«> (« itrf M jou an- 

Rk. Sa yoa tnsf , 
Na«r 'u mj brai con 
bin auu fim^M^ 

F&ui. A wotd, sweet lady 

Rjc. Witk lae, xir f «a j j« 

Fa^a. O Bkatda, 
TlKMart loo good t« ke a wanan long! 

Ric Do not fiad feuh witfa tikis, for fear I proTe 
Ton •oorafWl ; be eooleat alten yw'rc well tu'd> 

FaAs. Yoa lajt well, nr. — l^y, Vre lor'd yon 

Ric Tm a good beariog, sir. — If he be itM oat 
BOW, 111 br kaagnl ! 

Fkak. Yoa pUy a Booroful woman ! I pereeire, 
Ricatdo, yoa have not ben uaed to 'no : wby. til 
cmne m at my pkasnre with tou. Alas, 'tit nothing 
for a wan U ttik when a Roman gim way to't ! 
one abalt tddotn meet with a Utdj to kind aa iboa 
playodit ber. 

Ric. Not altogether, pethaps : be that draws tbeir 
piciurta niu«l fiatter 'em a little ; theyll look be 
ibai plsyi 'em sboold do't a great dral iben. 

Fkax. Comt^ gouKt I'H play the woman that Va 
n«*d 10 


I Me you ne'er wore shoe that piacb'd you yet ; 
AU yonr thingi come* on euy. 

Ric. Say you so, lir f 
ni try your ladyihip, 'faith. — Lady, well met. 

Fkaii. I do not think so, sir. 

Rk. a Bcomfn] gom !* and at the first dash too! 
Ht widow never gave me luch an answer ; 
Vu to you again, sir. — 
Fairest of creatures, I do love thee infinitely 1 

Fbah. There's nobody hids you, sir. 

Ric. Fox on thee, thou art the beastliest. Grossest 
baggage that ever man met withal ! but I'll see thee 
hanged, sweet lady, ere I be daunted with this. — 
Why, tbou'rt too awkward, sirrah. 

Fran. Hang thee, base fellow ! 

Ric. Now, by this light, he thinks he does 't in- 

Nay, then, have at your plum-tree 'J faith, I'll not 
be foiled. — Though you seem to be careless, madam, 
as you have enough wherewithal to be, yet I do, 
must, and will love you. 

Fran. Sir, if you begin to he rude, I'll call my 

Ric. What a pestilent quean's this ! I shall have 
much ado with her, I see that. — Tell me, as you're 
a woman, lady, what serve kisses for but to stop 
all your mouths 7 

Fran. Hold, hold, Ricardo ! 

Ric. Disgrace me, widow ? 

' cmm] Old ed. " comet." 

* gom] i. e. man, fellon : Anglo-Sai. The word occurs 
frequmlJy in our (arliest poeliy. 

T hatt at your plum-trit'] So in Naih's llaut mlh j/aa Iv 
Saffrm-Waldea, 1S96; " Yea Madam Oabriela, you are auch 
in old ierker, then Hey ding a ding . . . haut at yanrplim- 
Irtt." Sig. a 4. 

360 TBB wrDOw, 

Fran. Art mad? I'm Frandaco. 

Art. Si^or Uir^nrdo, up, up ! 

Ric. Who is't I Francisco ? 

Fb*k. Francisco, quoilia ! i*hat,are younud, sir? 

Rir. A bots on thee, lliou dost not know what 
injury thou hast done me ; 1 was i' th' fairest dreani. 
TliiB IE your way now, and* you can follow it. 

Fran. 'Tib a strange way, methinks. 

Ric. Learn you to play a woman not so a 
ftilly ihen ; 
For I am like (lie actor that you Bpok« ua : 
I muat have the part that overcomes the ludjrj 
I never like the play else. Now your friendu 
But to assist B subtle trick I ha' thought on. 
And the rich widow's mine nithiti these three hours. 

FrIn 1 ^^ '^""^'^ '*" P'"""'' °^ '*'^'' ' 

Ric. List lo me tlicn. 
I'll place you iwo, — I can do'l handsomely. 
I know the house so well. — to hear tJie confMI 
'Twixt her and 1, She's a most affable one. 
Her words will give advantage, and I'll urge "ee 
To the kind proof, to catch her in a contract ; 
Then shall you both step in as witnesses. 
And take her in the snare. 

Fkan. But do you love ber ? 
And then 'twill prosper, 

Ric. By this hand, 1 do, 
Not for her wealth, but for her person too. 

Frak. It shall he done then. 

Ric. But stay, stay, Francisco ; 
Where shall we meet with thee some two ]| 
hence, now ? 

FaA«. Why, hark you, sir. [ffTU 

irfj [.. 



Rig. Eoongh ; commaiid my life : 
Ga me the widow. 111 get thee the wife. 

[£«mU Ricakdo mid Attilio. 
Feax. O, thst'a now with me {wit hope ! yet I 
miut love her : 
I wonld I conld not do't ! 

EtOer BxAHDiiro and Martiko. 

Has, Yonder'i the Tillaia, nuiter. 

B>AK. Francisco I I am happy. 

Hab. Let's both draw, master, &t there'a nobody 
with him : 
Stay, stay, master, 
Do not you draw till I be ready too ; 
Let's draw juat both together, and keep even. 

Bran. What and* we kill'd him now, before he 
saw us ? 

Har. No, then he'll hardly see to read the letter. 

Bran. That's true ; good counsel, marry. 

Mar. Marry, thus much, sir ; you may kill him 
lawfully all the nhile he's a-reading on't ; as an 
Anabaptist may lie with a brother's wife all the 
while he's asleep. 

Bran. He turns, he looks. — Come on, sir ; you, 
Francisco ! 
I lov'd your father well, but you're a villain ; 
He lov'd me well too, but you love my wife, sir : 
After whom take you that ? I will not say 
Your mother play'd false. 

Fran. No, sir, you were not beat. 

Bban. But I will say, in spite of thee, my wife's 

Mar. And I, my mistress. 

Fram. You may, I'll give you leave. 

• and'] i. e. if. 


_. Mam. Pray* hear him ; it may grow to a peace : 
^^^7» matter, though we have carried the business 
^^^^Uy> we are not altogether so valiant as we 
^S^ould be. 

Bbait* Peace? thou say'st true in that. — What 

is'tyou'd say, sir ? 
Peak. Was not my father — quietness be with 
him! — 
you sworn brothers ? 
Bean. Why, right ; that's it urges me. 
Pkan. And could you have a thought that I could 

wrong you, 
fiur as the deed goes ? 
Bran. You took the course, sir. 
Fran. To make you happy, and^ you rightly 

weigh'd it. 
Mar. Troth, I'll put up^ at all adventures, 
master : 
It comes off very fair yet. 

Fran. You in years 
Married a young maid : what does the world judge, 
think you ? 
Mar. Byrlady,^ master, knavishly enough, I war- 
rant you ; 
I should do so myself. 

Fran. Now, to damp slander. 
And all her envious and suspicious brood, 
I made this friendly trial of her constancy. 
Being son to him you lov'd ; that, now confirmed, 
I might advance my sword against the world 
In her most fair defence, which joys my spirit. 

* and] i. e. i£ 

^ put up] i. e. sheathe my sword. 

^ byrlady] See note, p. 9. 


Mae. O master, let me weep wliile yoa embnoe 

Beak. Francisco, is thy fiitlier's soul in thee ? 
Lires he here still ? what, will he shew himself 
Id his male seed to me T Give me thy hand ; 
Methinks it feeb now like thy father's to me : 
Prithee, forgive me ! 

Mak« And me too, prithee ! 

Bean. Come to my house; thy father never 
miss'd it. 

Mae. Fetch now as many warrants as you please, 
And welcome too. 

Fran. To see how soon man's goodness 
May be abus'd ! 

Bran. But now I know thy intent, 
Welcome to all that I have ! 

Fran. Sir, I take it: 
A gift so given, hang him that would forsake it ! 

Bran. Martino, I applaud my fortune and thy 

Mar. You never have ill fortune when you fol- 
low it. Here were® things carried now in the true 
nature of a quiet duello; a great strife ended, 

without the rough soldier or the S And now 

you may take your journey. 

Bran. Thou art my glee, Martino. [^Exeunt, 

' were] Old ed, " wis." 

' the ] So old ed., a blank being left for some word. 



A Room in Valeria's House. 
Enter Valebia and Servellio. 

Val. Servellio! 

Ser. Mistress? 

Val. If that fellow come again, 
Answer him without me ; 1*11 not speak with him. 

Ser. He in the nutmeg-colour*d hand, forsooth ? 

Val. Ay, that spic'd coxcomh, sir : ne*er may I 
marry again, {_Exit Servellio. 

If his right worshipful idolatrous face 
Be not most fearfully painted; so hope comfort 

I might perceive it peel in many places ; 
And under 's eye lay a betraying foulness, 
As maids sweep dust o* th' house all to one corner ; 
It shew'd me enough there, prodigious pride. 
That cannot but fall scornfully. I'm a woman ; 
Yet, 1 praise heaven, I never had th' ambition 
To go about to mend a better workman : 
She ever shames herself i* th* end that does it. 
He that likes me not now, as heaven made me, 
I'll never hazard hell to do him a pleasure ; 
Nor lie every night like a woodcock in paste 
To please some gaudy goose in the morning : 
A wise man likes that best that is itself. 
Not that which only seems, though it look fairer. 
Heaven send me one that loves me, and I'm happy ! 
Of whom I'll make great trial ere I have him, 
Though I speak all men fair, and promise sweetly : 
I learn that of my suitors ; 'tis their own, 
Therefore injustice 'twere to keep it from 'em. 

EhUt Rka&do, foUowtd by Fkakciko owJ An 
trAo conceal ikemttlffi. 
Ric. And so as I said, iweet widow — 

Val. Do you begin where you left, sii 

Rir. I always desire, wben I come to a widow, 

to begin i' th' middle of a sentence ; for I presume 

■he bii a bad metnoTy of a woman that cuiDoi 

remember what goes before, 

Vai.. Stay, stay, sir ; let me look upon you well ; 

Are not you piinted too ? 
Ric. Hon, painted, widow ! 
Val. Not painted widow ; I do not use it* 11 

Ric. That makes me love thee. 

Vai.. I mean painted gentleman. 
Or if you please to give him a greater style, s 
Blame me not, sir ; it's a dangerous age, I tell you ; 
Poor simple-dealing women had need look about 

Rtc. But is there such a fellow in ihe i 
As you are pleas'd to talk on ? 

Val. Nay, here lately, sir. 

Ric. Here? a pox, I think I sm^ll him! 'tis 
vermilion sure; ha, oil of hen!" IJo but shew 
him me, widow, and let me never hope for comtbrt, 
if I do not immediately geld him, and gri ' ' 
face upon one o' th' stones. 

itroiiiAtiai cardiac, anil ilfxiterial viriucs.' Cbambera'i Dit' 
llanai-f. The snme writer sayi, there are two kiads of Arn, 
white nnd red, anil thatlliey are both brought from theLcirBtll, 
and have ibe >arae virtuei, being aub&lituied for each olhetittT" 

ItBEIJ. ~ 

TBI WtDOW. 367 

Val. Suffices you've ezpreu'd me yonr love and 
Aitd manly hate 'gainst that ontoanly pride ; 
Bat, lir. III save you that labour; he ne'er cornea 
Vidua my door again. 

Ric. 1*11 love your door the better while I know't, 
widow; a pair of such brothers were fitter for 
posts ^ without door indeed, to make a ihew at a 
new-chosen magistrate's gate, than to be used in a 
woman's chamber. No, sweet widow, having roe, 
jon've the truth ofa man ; all that you see of roe 
U foil roine own, and what you see, or not see, 
ahall be yours : I ever hated to be beholding' to 
artf or to borrow any thing but money. 

Val. True, and that you never use to pay again. 

Ric. What matter is't 7 if you be pleased to do't 
for me, I hold it as good. 

Val. O, soft you, sir, I pray ! 

Ric. Why, i'faith, you may, and^ you will. 

Val. I know that, sir. 

Ric. Troth, and I would have my will then, if I 
were as you : there's few women elac but have.^ 

Val. But since I cannot have it in all, signor, 
I care not to have it in any thing. 

Ric. Why, you may have't in all, and^ you will, 

Val. Pish ! I'd have one that loves me for my- 
self, sir. 
Not for my wealth ; and that I cannot have. 

Ric. What say you to him that does the thing 
you wish fort 

Val. Why, here's my hand, I'U marry none but 
him then. 

^ poili'i Set note, p. SS. 

' btholdi-g'i See note, p. 2S6. 

> and] L 0. if. '• Amw] Old cd. " hta." 


Ric. Your hand and faith ? 

Val. My hand and faith. 

Ric. Tis I, then. 

Val. I shall he glad on't, trust me ; 'shrew my 

heart else ! 
Ric. a match ! 

[Francisco and Attilio come forward. 
Fran. Give you joy, sweet widow ! 
Att. Joy to you hoth ! 
Val. How? 
Ric. Nay, there's no starting now, I have you 

fast, widow. — 
You're witness, gentlemen. 

Fran i 

* ' [ We'll be depos'd on't. 

Val. Am I betray'd to this, then ? then I see 
'Tis for my wealth : a woman's wealth's her traitor. 

Ric. 'Tis for love chiefly, I protest, sweet widow ; 
I count wealth but a fiddle to make us merry. 

Val. Hence! 

Ric. Why, thou'rt mine. 

Val. I do renounce it utterly. 

Ric. Have I not hand and faith ? 

Val. Sir, take your course. 

Ric. With all my heart; ten courses, and'' you 
will, widow. 

Val. Sir, sir, I'm not so gamesome as you think 
ril stand you out by law. 

Ric. By law ? O cruel, merciless woman, 
To talk of law, and know I have no money ! 

Val. I will consume myself to the last stamp,^ 
Before thou gett'st me. 

•» and] L e. if. 

* $tamp'] i. e. " halfpenny." Reed. 

Tin WIDOW. M9 

Sic. liife. 111 be as wflfiil dien, too: 
^1] rob all the carriers in ChristcDdoniy 
^Ut ni hare thee, and find mj lawyers mooej. 
^ ^coni to get thee nnder ybrna pamperit; 
^ y^e too proud a heart, and lore thee better. 

Val. As for yon, gentlemen. 111 take eonrse 
against yon ; 
ou came into my hoose without my leave ; 
our practices are cunning and deceitful ; 
Inow you not, and I hope law will right me. 
Ric. It is sufficient that your husband knows 

'em : 
is not your business to know erery man ; 
n honest wife contents herself with one. 
Val. You know what you shall trust to. Pray 

depart^ sir, 
nd take your rude confederates along with you, 
r I will send for those shall force your absence : 
^m glad I found your purpose out so soon, 
ow quickly may poor women be undone ! 
Ric. Lose thee ? by this hand, 111 fee fifteen 
^Counsellors first, though I undo a hundred poor 
^^en for 'em ; and I'll make 'em yaul one another 
^eaf, but 111 have thee. 
Val. Me? 
Ric. Thee. 

Val. Ay, fret thy heart out. {^Exit Ricardo. 
Fran. Were I he now, 
J'd see thee starve for man before I had thee. 
Val. Pray, counsel him to that, sir, and 111 pay 

you well. 
Fran. Pay me ? pay your next husband. 
Val. Do not scorn't, gallant ; a worse woman 
than I 
*ias paid a better man than you. 

[^Exeunt Attilio and Francisco. 


EnUr two Smiort. 

FiUT Sdit. Why, how now, aweet widow ^ 
Vu. O kind geutlemeo, I'm bo abus'd hen 
BoTii Suit. Abused? \^I>rawmg ikar 9 _^ 

Val. What will you do, sin F put np 'i 


Sec, Suit. Nay, they're not so easily drawn, that 
I roust tell you ; mine baa not been out this three 
yean ; mairy, in your cause, widow, 'twould not be 
long a-drawing. Abused ! by whom, widow J 
Val. Nay, by a beggar. 

Sec. Soit. A beggar ? I'll have him wbipt then, 
and sent to the House of Correction. 
Val. Rtcardo, sir. 

Skc. Suit. Ricardo ? nay, by tb' mass, he'a a 
gentleman- beggar ; he'll be hanged before he be 
whipt. Why, you'll give me leore to clap him up, 

Val. 'Tia too good for blm ; that's the thing 
he'd have, 
He would be clapt up, whether 1 would or no, me- 

tbinka ; 
Plac'd two of his companions privately, 
Unknown to me, on purpose to entrap me 
In my kind answers, and at last stole from me 
That which 1 fear will put me to some trouble, 
A kind of verbal courtesy, which his witnessed 
And he, forsooth, call by the name of contract. ■ 

First Suit. O politic villain I 

Val. But I'm resolv'd, gentlemen. 
If the whole power of my estate can ci 
He never shall obtain me. 

Sec. Suit. Hold you there, widow ; 
Well fare your heart for that, i'faitfa. 


FnUT SviT. SUy, stay, aUy ; 
You broke no gold between you J 

Val. We broke nothing, air. 

Fnn Suit. Nor drunk to one another ? 

Val. Not 8 drop, sir. 

FlMT Suit. You're sure of this yon apeak? 

Val. Moat certain, air. 

Pnar Suit. Be of good comfort, wench : 111 un- 
dertake then, 
At BUM own charge, to oTerthrow him for thee. 

Vai, O, do but that, sir, and you bind me to you 1 
Here shall I try your goodness. I'm but a woman. 
And, alas, ignorant in law businesses : 
111 bear the charge most willingly. 

First Suit. Not a penny ; 
Thy love will reward me. 

Val. And where love must be, 
It is all but one purse, now I think on't. 

FraST Suit. All comes to one, sweet widow. 

Sec. Suit. Are you so forward! [^^side. 

FiKST Sun. I know his mates, Attilio and Fran- 
II) get out process, and attach 'em all: 
We'll begin first with them, 

Val. 1 like that strangely. 

Fibst Suit. I have a daughter run away, I thank 
111 be a scourge to all youth for her sake ; 
Some of 'em has got her up. 

Val. Your daughter? what, sir, Martia? 

First Suit. Ay, a shake wed her ! 
I would have married her to a wealthy gentleman, 
No older than myself; she was like to be shrewdly 
hurt, widow. 

Val. It was too happy for her. 

First Suit. I'm of thy mind. 
Farewi'l], sweet widow ; I'll aboul this scraightal 
I'll have 'em all ihre< 
And so save charges 

Val. How I love 

! put into one writ. 

' providence ! 

[Exil FiTti ntuur. 
bot'df I'll cross ye both 

Sec. Suit. Is 

Althnugh it cost me as much o' th' other side ; 
I have enough, and I will have my humour. 
I may get out of her what may undo her too. 

Hark you,aweet widow, you must now take hted 
You be of a sure ground, he'll o'erthrow you else. 

Val. Marry, fair hope forbid! 

Sec. Suit. That will he : marry, Ic' me see, le' me 

Q you and Ricardo? 

Pray how far past it 

Val. Farther, sir, 
Than I would now it had; but I hoj 

Sec. Suit. Pray let me hear't ; 
guess o' th' law. 

Val. Faith, sir, I rashly gave my band and faith 
To marry none but him. 

Sec. Suit. Indeed! 

Val. Ay, trust me, air. 

Sec. Suit. I'm very glad 
And he shall have you now. 

Val. What said you, sir! 

Sec. Suit. He shall not w 

cause, widow ; 

I know I've enough, and I i 

Val. Are all the world betray 

Sec. Sun. Pish, pishi widow ! 

well yeb ^^| 
fe a shrewd 

1 another wit. 

t money in an honest 
.1 have my liutnoiu 

im wnwv. 3711 

Yoa'te bone me in hmd' thit three monthi, anil 

now ibbb'd ne : 
IVe known the ame wlien I could pleaie ■ woman. 
rilaot be langh'd at bow; when I'ln croat, I'm a 

1 bare enongb, and I will have my humour. 

Vaj. Thia only ahewa your malice to me, air ; 
Tbe worU kaowa yon ha' anuU reaaon tu help him, 
So modi in your debt already. 

Szc Sdit. Therefore I do't, 
I bare no way but that to help inyielf ; 
Tbough I loae you, I will not loae alli wMow ; 
He marrying you, as I will foUow't for bim, 
111 make you pay hit debts, or lie wilh<fiii hiiih 

Val. I look'd for this from you. 

Sec. Suit. I ha' not deceiv'd you th<'(i : 

(AV.. V.|,„|. 
Fret, vex, and chafe, I'm obstinatii »h<r- I ink-. 
I'll seek him out, and cheer him up mk"'"*' '''I 
I ba' DO chai^ at all, no child of miri'' •1*111, 
But two I got once of a scourinK-M"Ji"<>'*t 
And they're both well provi<k-<l fur, lU'-y'f t' 'ti' 

I have ten thousand pound to bury w, 
And I will have my humour. | /i'"' 


A StTCft. 

EnUr Fkan(.ih,». 

Fkan, a man must have a time u> wrv. hi* pkn 

c. krpl niE in txfvlMi'm. 
K K 


Aa well u his ilear friciul: I'm forc'd to siesl { 

To get this night of spurt for mine own use 
What says her amiable, nitty letter here l 

IReads i 
'Tivixt nine and lea, — now 'tis 'tvrixt six and wi 
As fit as can be ; he that follows lechery 
Leaves all » six and seven, and so do I, m 
Sun sets at eight, it's *bove an hour high yet ; 
Some fif\cen mile hnve I before I reach her. 
But I've an excellent horse ; and a good gallop 
Hct]iB man as much as a provoking banquet. 

Enltr Firtt Suilor and Officers. 

FiKsT Suit. Here's one of 'em \ begin v 
first, officers. 

FiBsT 0?F. By virtue of this writ we attach your 
body, sir. [0/Sccrs seize Frahcisco. 

Fran. Mv body? 'life, for what? 

FmsT Suit. Hold htm fast, officers. 

FtasT Off- The least of us can do't, now | 
sword's off, sir ; 
We have a trick of hanging upon gentlemen. 
We never lose a man. 

Fran. O ireacheroua fortune ! — 
Why, what's the cause? 

F1K6T S(iiT. The widow's business, sir ; 
I hope you know me ? 

Fran. For a busy coxcomb. 
This fifteen year, I take it. 

F'iRsT Suit, O, you're mad, sir ; 
Simple though you make me, I stand for the widow. 

Fhan, She's simply stood for then: what's this 

Or she, 1 


r any 

of ihese Uesh-hooks ? 

Fan Scrr. Tm'ic Oe ■» fiod CDod \mi fcefoR 

Or Be dD die «Bh'i tiiEd. 

PuK. O in knv's HHCTT : 

FiB«T Snr. Fn pot im tran to foDov't. wtd lH 
Widi afl KToi^ ; bvU a^on tbat, sir. 

E^tr Bkaxdo «Brf JLttiuo. 
Fsax. How I eonld" cone uyielf ! 
Ric Look. !>»«'■ FraDcnco : 
. WiD yon beUcre me, now yon tee his qoaliiies ? 
Att. Ta sOsnge to me. 
Ric. I tell yon 'tis his fashiao : 
He never stole awav ia's life IVoni me. 
But still I foDDd hiin in such scurrv company. — 
A pox on ibee, Francisco ! wilt never leave 
Thy old tricks i are theie lousy companions Tor 
Frak. Pish, pish, pish ! 

First Srii. Here they be all three now ; pre- 
hend 'em, officers. 

[O^CTt teixe Ricakdo ami Attilhi. 
Ric. What's this 7 

Fban. I gave you warning enough to mnke away ; 
I'm in for the widow's business, so are you now. 

Ric. What, all three in a noose? this is like a 
widow's business indeed. 

First Suit, Sh'as catch'd you, gentlemen, as you 
catch 'd her. 
The widow means now to begin with you, sir. 

Ric. I thank her heartily, sh'as taught mo wit ; 

for had I been any but an ass, I should ha' boftun 

with her indeed. By this lighi, the widow's a 

notable housewife ! she bestirs herself. I have a 

" eouid] Old ed. " would." 


Fan 8vn. Ii mom yon know bc b; 

Rk. I'Te ft near gue«s at joa, mr. 

Fift«r Svrt. Gnna ■rEnu jon pleaae. tir. 
Tin he ordain'd ts froance 700, and, indeed, 
I am die man imut carry her. 

Rk. Aj, tome; 
Btn 111 awear sbe'i a beaat, ntd* «be carry 

Fiart SctT. Cotne. wkere'i your bail, sir F qnickiy, 

Bic. Sir, I'm held wroDgfally ; Biy bail'* takea 

FiaST StiiT. Whm is't, air, where T 

Rif. Hrre they be both. Pox on yoo, they were 
taken before Pd need of Vm. Awf you be hooeat 
ofEcera, let'* bail oti« another ; for, by thb baud, 
I do not know who will else. — 

Enter Second Siulor. 
'Od« light, it he come too ? I'la in for midnight 
ilien ; I ahall never find the way out again : my 
ilebu, my debts! I'm like to die i' th' HoleP now. 

FiBUT Suit. We have him fast, old signor, and 
hii consorts ; 
Now you may lay action on action on him. 

■Sec. Suit. I'iiai may 1, sir, i'failh. 

FiRRT Suit. And I'd not spare bim, sir. 

8bc. Suit, Know you me, officers ? 

I ar, yw . . . Jar a 

;. wbat CI 

vou r compari roi. 11. v. • 
" nd\ i. : if. 
' r IV Halt] See nole. 

, ToL i. p. 392. 

THS wn>ow. 377 

F»ST On. Your bounteous worship, sir. 

Rig. I know the rascal so well, I dare not look 
upon him. 

Sxc. Suit. Upon my worth, deliver me that gen- 

Fean. Which gentleman ? 

Sec. Suit. Not you, sir, you're too hasty ; 
No, nor you neither, sir, pray, stay your time. 

Ric. There's all but I now, and I dare not think 
he means me. 

Sec. Suit. Deliver me Ricardo. 

Ric. O, sure he lies, 
Or else I do not hear well. 

First Off. Signor Ricardo 

Ric. Well, what's the matter ? 

First Off. You may go ; who lets you?*J 
It is his worship's pleasure, sir, to bail you. 

Ric. Bail me ? 

Sec Suit. Ay will I, sir. Look in my face, man ; 
Thou*st a good cause ; thou*lt pay me when thou*rt 
able ? 

Ric. Ay, every penny, as I'm a gentleman. 

Sec. Suit. No matter if thou dost not, then I'll 
make thee. 
And that's as good at all times. 

First Suit. But, I pray, sir, — 
You go against the hair there.' 

Sec. Suit. Against the widow you mean, sir ; '' 
Why, 'tis my purpose truly, and 'gainst you too : 
I saw your politic combination ; 
I was thrust out between you. Here stands one 
Shall do as much for you, and he stands rightest, 
His cause is strong and fair ; nor shall he want 

4 You may go ; who lets you] Given in old ed. to Ricardo : 
lei$, i. c. hinders. 

' against the hair] See note, voL i. p. 163. 


Let 'em go to priion; they'll be foitbcoming the 

I have enough, and I will hare my humour. 

Ric. 1 knew there was no more good to be done 
upon him : 
Tia well I've this ; heaven knows I never look'd 
Fran. Wh«t pUguy luck had I to be enBnar'd 

First Off. O, patience ! 
Fkak. Pox o' your comfortable ignorance ! 

Enter Bhahdino and Maktino. 

Bkan. Martino, we ride slow. 

Mar. But we ride sure, air : 
Your hasty riders often come short home, master. 

Bran. Bless this fair company ! 

Fran. Here he's again too; 
I am both sliain'd and cross'd. 

Bran. Seest thou who's yonder, Martino? 

Mar- We ride slow, I'll be sworn now, roaster. 

Bran. How now, Francisco, art thou got before 

Fran. Yes, thank my fortune, I am got before 

Bran. What, no, in hold? 

Ric, Ay, o' my troth, poor gentleman! 
Your worship, sir, may do a good deed to bail him. 

Bran. Why do not you do't then? 

Mar. La, you, sir, now, my master has that 
He's loath to take a good deed from you, sir. 

Ric. r!l tell you why, I cannot, else I would, sir. 

Fran. Luck, I beseech thee ! 
If he should be wrought to bail me now, to go to 
His wife, 'twere happiness beyond expression. 

■t but of conlrovCTsy I 

■ lie for't; he^l 

Bb*k. a 

Kic. Tliai 

Bkam. Francisco shall i 
And I will Wl him. 

Mas. He's your secret friend, master ; 
Think upon that. 

Bkan. Give hira his liberty, officers; 
Upon my peril, he shall be forthcoming. 

Fran. Hon 1 am bound to you ! 

First Sdit. Know you whom you ctosi 
'Tis at your sister's suit ; be well advis'd, 

Bran. How, at my sister's suit ? takehita^ 

Frak. Why, sir, do you refuse me t 

Brak. I'll not hear Ibee. 

Ric. This is unkindly done, sir. 

First Suit. Tis wisely done, sir. 

Sec. SriT. Well shot, foul malice ! 

First Suit. Flattery stinks worse, sir. 

Ric. You'll ne'er leave till I make you i 
bad, sir. 

Pram. O Martino, have I this for my late 1| 

Mar. Alas, poor gentleman, dost complain H 
Thou shalt not fare the worse for't. — Harkifl 
ister's suit, said you ? 

UtiAH. Ay, sir, my wife's sister. 

Mar. And shall that daunt ym 
Why, wcre't your mother's suit, — your i 


Mark what I say, — the dearest suit of all s 
You're bound in conscience, sir, to bail this , 


THt WIDOW. 381 

BiLAK. Yea, am I so ? how prov'st thou that, 

Martino ? 
Mae. Have you forgot so soon what he did 
lately ? 
Has he not tried your wife to your hand, master, 
To cut the throat of slander and suspicion ? 
And can you do too much for such a man ? 
Shall it he said, I serve an ingrateful master ? 

Bban. Never, Martino ; I will hail him now, 
And*^ 'twere at my wife's suit. 

Fbak. 'Tis like to he so. {^Aside. 

Mar. And I his friend, to follow your example, 

Fran. Precious Martino ! 
First Suit. You've done wondrous well, sir ; 
Your sister shall give you thanks. 
Ric. This makes him mad, sir. 
Sec. Suit. We'll follow't now to th' proof. 
First Suit. Follow your humour out ; 
The widow shall find friends. 

Sec. Suit. And so shall he, sir, 
Money and means. 

Ric. Hear you me that, old huddle ! 
Sec. Suit. Mind him not ; follow me, and I'll 
supply thee ; 

{^Exeunt First Suitor and Officers. 
Thou shalt give all thy lawyers double fees : 
I've buried money enough to bury me. 
And I will have my humour. 

{^Exit with RicARDO and Attilio. 
Bran. Fare thee well once again, my dear Fran- 
cisco ; 
I prithee, use my house. 

Fran. It is my purpose, sir. 

" And'\ i. e, if. 

388 THE WIDbW. 

Beak. Nay, you must do't then ; thot^h Fm old, 

I'm free. [£a(. 

Mae. And when you want a warrant, come to me. 

Fean. That will be shortly now, within tins few 
This fell out strangely happy. Now to horse ; 
I shall be nighted : but an hour or two 
Never breaks square in love ; he comes in time 
That comes at all ; absence is all love's crime. ^ 


The Country. 

Enter Occulto, Silvio, Stratio, Fiducio, and otker 


Occ. Come, come, let's watch th' event on yonder 

hill ; 
If he need help, we can relieve him suddenly. 
SiL. Ay, and with safety too, the hill being 

watch'd, sir. 
Occ. Have you the blue coats ^ and the beards? 
SiL. They're here, sir. 
Occ. Come, come away, then ; a fine cock- shoot* 

evening. ^ExewU. 

Enter Latrocinio, and Martia disguised as a num. 
Lat. [sings^ Kuck before^ and kuck behind^ ^c. 

* blue coats] In which they were to disguise themselves as 
servants : see note, p. 146. 

^ cock-shoot] Properly, cock-shut — was a large net, sus- 
pended between two poles, employed to catch, or shut in, 
woodcocks, and used chiefly in the twilight — hence cock-shut 
came to signify twilight. (See Gifibrd's note on B. Jonson's 
Works, voL vi. p. 478.) Perhaps " a fine cock-shoot evening" 
means here — a fine evening for taking our game. 


HaetijI. Trotb, you're the merriest and delight- 
fuU'st company, sir. 
That ever traveller was blest withal ; 
I praise my fortune that I overtook you, sir. 
Lat. Pish, I've a hundred of 'em. 
Habtia. And believe me, sir, 
I'm infinitely taken with such things. 

Lat. 1 see there's music in you ; you kept time, 
meth ought, 
Pretty and handsomely with your little hand there. 
Habtia. It only shews desire, but, troth, no skill, 

Lai. Well, while our horses walk down yonder 
hilt, sir, 
I'll have another for you. 

Maktia. It rids way pleasantly. 

Lat, Le' me see now — one confounds another, 

You've heard tins certainly, Come, my dainty doxies ? 

Maetia. O, that is all the country over, sir! 
There's scarce a gentlewoman but has that prick'd. 
Lat, Well, here comes one I'm sure you never 
beard, then. \_Sings. 

I keep my horse, I keep my rvhore, 
I take no rents, get am not poor ; 
I traverse all the land about. 
And yet teas bom to never afoot ; 
With partridge plump, rvith woodcock fine, 
I da at midnight often dine ; 
And if my mhore be no( in case, 
My hostess' daughter has her place : 
The maids sit up and match their turns ; 
If I stay long, the tapster mourns ; 
The cookmaid has no mind to sin. 
Though templed by the chamberlin :' 
' chambirtin'} So writleD for the soke of (be rhjrme. 

MAktu- You're M« Am kaai af gcadiB 
To ■iag ne OM of mj mtmty t 

Lat. Tw bcm fit 
KnAofiA be rrwded : jm WM faj yoHT ■ 

MA«n4. Bu ■« at yw a 
Lat. Nor aa I 


. Sajr h ifcodd p 
Lai. Wiijp, MI, Ao yon look tor aooK 
ia Bi tliaa in ucaten ! fooag 
Mndl rttuoa (or tliat, ffiuib. 

Hakti*. There 'tis, aad aD I have [;««• |Mnr]i 
aoil, CO trnth cotnfort me. 
All I kntm Hhere to Etare ! 

I>AT. Sir, tlist'i not written 
In my bclwfyet; t««rcb — 'tis a fine evening, 
Your hor-e caa take do harm — I mtui ha^e iaora,rir. 
Mabtia. May tny hope* perub, ifywthvnaot 
all, sir 1 
And inori', 1 know, than your compaMJonaie charily 
Would keep from tne, if you but felt my wants. 
Lat. Scnrch, and that speedily : if 1 take yen ia 

Yonll find me rough; melhinks meo should be nH'i, 
Whwi they're lo kindly spoke to : fie upon't ! 


Mabtia. Good fortune and my wit assist me tben ! 
A thing I took in haste, and never thought on't. 

Look, sir, Fve search*d ; here's all that I can find, 

[^Presents a putoL 
And you're so covetous, youll have all, you say. 
And I'm content you shall, being kindly spoke to. 

Lat. a pox o' that young devil of a handful long, 
That has fray'd many a tall thief from a rich pur- 
chase !7 

Mabtia. This and my money, sir, keep' company ; 
Where one goes, th' other must ; assure your soul 
They vow'd never to part. 

Lat. Hold, I beseech you, sir ! 

Martia. You rob a prisoner's box, and* you rob 
me, sir. 

Lat. There 'tis again. [^Returns purse, 

Martia. I knew 'twould never prosper with you ; 
Fie, rob a younger brother ? O, take heed, sir ! 
'Tis against nature that : perhaps your father 
Was one, sir, or your uncle ; it should seem so, 
By the small means was left you, and less manners. 
Go, keep you still before me ; and, do you hear me ? 
To pass away the time to the next town, 
I charge you, sir, sing all your songs for nothing. 

Lat. O horrible punishment ! [^ song,^ 

Re-enter Stratio, disguised as a servant, 

Stra. Honest gentleman 

Martia. How now, what art thou ? 

' purchase"} See note, p. 199. 

■ keep} Old ed. " keeps." ' and} i. e. if. 

^ A song} The songs are frequently omitted in the printed 
copies of our early dramas ; but the present direction seems 
to mean, that the actor who played Latrocinio was to sing a 
few words of any song he might choose. 



Stka. Stand you in need of help? 
I made «1) haste I could, my master cliarg'd 
A knight of warship ; he saw you first assaulted 
From top of yonder bill. 

Maktia. Thanks, honest friend. 

Lat. I taste this trick already. [At'uU, and m'(. 

Stra. Look, he's gone, sir ; 
Shall he be stopt ? what is he ? 

Maktia. Let him go, sir ; 
He can rejoice in nothing, that's the comfort, 

Stka. You have your purse still then I 

Martia. Ay, thanks fair fortune 
And this grim handful ! 

Stra. We were all so 'ftaid o" you ; 
How my good lady cried, O help the gentlemi 
'Tis a good woman that. But you're loo mildi 
You should ha' niark'd him for a villain, faith, 
Before b'ad gone, having so sound a means 

Maktia. Why, there's the jesi, man ; he had once 
my purse. 

St-ra. O villain ! would you let him 'scape un- 
masBacred ? 

Maktia. Nay, liear me, sir, I made him yield it 
straight again, 
And, so hope bless me, with an uncharg'd pisi 

Stra. Troth, I should laugh at that. 

Mabtia. It was discharg'd, sir. 
Before I meddled with't. 

Stra. I'm gtad to hear't, [Sases k^. 

Mabtia. Why, how now ? what's your will ? 

Stra. Ho, Latrocinio, 
Occulto, Silvio ! 

Bs'tnler Latrocinio, Occulto, Silvio, FiDtM 

and other Thieves. 
Lat, What, are you caught, sir ? 



Stra. The piatol cannot apesk. , 
Lat. He waa too yoimg, 
I ever thought he could not ; jret I fear'd bim. 
Martia. You've found out ways too mercilesi to 
Under the veil of friendship and of charity. 

Lat. Away, airs, bear bim in to th' next copse, 

and atrip him. 
Stba. Brandino'a copse, the justice ? 
Lat. Beit of all, sir, a man of law ; a spider lies 
unsuspected in the corner of a buckram-bag, man. 
Martia. What seek you, sirs? take all, and use 

no cruelty. 
Lat. You shall have songs enough. 

Song by Latrocinio and the other Thieves. 
How round l!ie world goes, and every thing that's in it ! 
The tides of gold and silver ebb andjiow in a minute : 
From the usurer to his sons (/iere['i] a current swiftly 

From the sons to queans in chief, from the gallant to 

the thief; 
From the thief unto his host, from the host tohusband- 

From the country to the court ; and so it comes to us 

Haw round the world goes, and every thing that's in it .' 
The tides of gold and silver ebb andjlon in a minute. 


Before Branding's House. 
Enter Philippa and Violetta above, at a windotv. 
Phil. What time of night is't ? 

^ og™] See note, p. 182. 


If k •» Jbse. 'ti» t^aoam 
FmOm Fie on bim! xiae 



Wbkfa were a Waten padi to 

111 never tn»t bin vuh mj 

Therefore I Bade this trial of hit wit : 

If be cannot oonceire what's good Ibf himielfj 

He will worie anderstand what's good for me. 

Vio. But suppose, mistress, as it may be likely* 
He never saw vour letter ? 

Fhil. How thou pliest me 
With suppositions ! why, I tell thee, wench, 
Tis equally as impossible for my husband 
7*0 keep it from him as to be young again. 
Or as bis first wife knew him, which he brags ob, 
For bearing children by him. 

Vio, There's no remedy then ; 
1 must conclude Francisco is an ass. 

FiiiL. 1 would my letter, wench, were here again! 
rd know him wiser ere I sent him one, 
And travel some five year first. 

Vio. So h'ftd need, methinks. 
To understand the words ; methinks the words 
Themselves should make him do't, had he but the 

Of a cock-sparrow, that will come at Philip,^ 

^ percfivrrancf] Or u the word is usually found, pereeivanee 
— i. II. power of perceiving. Old ed. " perseverance." 

' at Philip] i. e. when one colls to it Philip — a familiar 
name for a i])arrow. 

TBI wnMW. 389 

And can nor vrrite nor read, poor fool ! thia cox- 
He can do both, and your name's but Philippa ; 
And yet to see, if he can come when'a call'd! 
Phii.. Me never shall be call'd again for me, 

Well, as hard as the world goes, we'll have a song, 

We'll not sit up for nothing. 
Vio. That's poor fttmfort though. 
Phil. Better than any's brought, for aught I see 
So »et to your lute. iThey sing. 

Phil, I/in this question I propound to thee 
Be any, any choice. 
Let me have thy voice. 
Vio. You shall most free. 
Phil. Which hadst thou rather be. 

If thou might choose thy life, 
A fooUs, a fool's mistress, 
Or art old man's irife ? 
Vio. The choiee u hard, I knom not nhich is best ; 
One ill you're boand to, and 1 think that's 
Phil. Bat being not hound, my dearest smect, 

I could shake off the other. 
Vio. Then as you lose your sport by one. 

You lose your name by t'other. 

PniL. You counsel nell, but love refuses 

What good counsel often chooses. 

[Exeunt above. 

Enter Martia in a shirt. 

For cKsow ■ d» piwht. A* «<hM^ m riiOm. 
Aid CVtlT «M -d fe^ « ^■fai sr BM : 
T* iMcfc «« k MO h«U: n M ^ sue. 
Aad bCB ff I oa bar aBf M^ 

Fbav. Wm ner bm m oiMi'd* «». la Int 

•WUU, MtK^ 

Or tlicdcw drepptag Obm A* IfTt i ■bore wt. 
I thoBgfal *t Ind bled agaa. "^ 

Are ilfingc mliickj ihiagt ami &al fbolrria ; 
Vo marl* to niuy gaBuu die «k tkiitj % 
Tia able u> vn out a Boaa** bran m fire TCar, 
The CToutt ibat bcloog to't : (mt, arreted. 
That Mt me back two nanfc; boars at leut ; 
Yet that'i a thing bit beat conU bave forgiTeii 
Becauae arrevluig, in mtiu kind aoetei 
Ik a moRt f{entlenuin-likc affliction ; 
Rut hate, within a mile o' tli' u>n. finnooth, | 
Anil two mile olTthiB place, «ken a m 
Mi|{lii ha' been taken Tor his own t«:nnty. 
Anil till thou){hiB brisk and set upon the b 
To IJKht upon a ro({"y flight of thieves! 
V(i% (in 'em, here'* the length of oac oT^ 

whitllp» :' 

Hill Olio ofmy Jenr rascals I pursu'd so, J 
Thir f(nol htii him, and lie shall bring oul'sfd^ 

• mar-t] i. t. iH.rvfl. 

' whiulii] i. 0, knivci. OW ed. " wbiitlct," 
tthicli UiJ not aUrtlc prcoeding ediion. 


Had ever young man's love such crooked fortune ? 
I'm glad I'm so near yet ; the surgeon bade me too 
Have a great care ; I shall ne'er think of that now. 
Martia. One of the thieves come back again ? 
I'll stand close ; 
He dares not wrong me now, so near the house, 
And call in vain 'tis, till I see him offer't. 
Fbak. 'Life, what should that be? a prodigious * 
Stands just as I should enter, in that shape too 
Which always appears terrible. 
Whate'er it be, it is made strong against me 
By my ill purpose ; for 'tis man's own sin 
Tnat puts on armour upon all his evils, 
And gives them strength to strike him. Were it less 
Than what it is, my guilt would make it serve : 
A wicked man's own shadow has distracted him. 
Were this a business now to save an honour. 
As 'tis to spoil one, I would pass this then, 
Stuck all hell's horrors i' thee : now I dare not. 
Why may't not be the spirit of my father. 
That lov'd this man so well, whom I make haste 
Now to abuse ? and I've been cross'd about it 
Most fearfully hitherto, if I well think on't ; 
Scap'd death but lately too, nay, most miraculously. 
Ana what does fond^ man venture all these ills for. 
That may so sweetly rest in honest peace ? 
For that which being obtain'd, is as he was 
To his own sense, but remov'd nearer still 
To death eternal. What delight has man 
Now at this present for his pleasant sin 
Of yesterday's committing ? 'las, 'tis vanish'd, 
And nothing but the sting remains within him ! 

s prodigious^ See note, p. 5. 
^ fond] i. e. foolish. 




The kind man baO'd me too ; I will not do*t now, 
And^ 'twere but only that. How blest were man. 
Might he but have his end appear stiU to him. 
That he might read his actions i' th' event ! 
"Twoold make him write true* though he never 

Whose check soe*er thou art, Other's, or friend's. 
Or enemy's, I thank thee ; peace requite thee ! 
Light, and the lighter mistress, both iareweU ! 
He keeps his promise best that breaks with hell. . 

Maetia. He's gone to call the rest, and makes 

all speed; 
m knock, whate'er befalls, to please my fears. 
For no compassion can be less than theirs. 

[Aluocib at the door. 

Re-enter Philippa and Violetta above, 

Phil. He's come, he's come ! — O, are you come 
at last, sir ? 
Make little noise. — A way, he'll knock again else. 

l^Erit above with Violetta. 
Maetia. I should have been at Istria, by day- 
break too ; 
Near to Valeria's house, the wealthy widow*s. 
There waits one purposely to do me good. 
What will become of me ? 

Enter Violetta. 

Vio. O, you are a sweet gallant ! this your hour? 
Give me your hand ; come, come, sir, follow me, 
I'll bring you to light presently : sofUy, softly, sir. 


> Jmd] L e. it 



A Room in Branding's Heme. 

Enter Philippa. 

Phil. I should ha' given him up to all my thoughts 
The dullest young man, if he had not found it ; 
So short of apprehension and so worthless, 
He were not fit for woman's fellowship ; 
I've been at cost too for a banquet for him : 
Why, 'twould ha' kill'd my heart, and most especially 
To think 'that man should ha' no more conceit;' 
I should ha' thought the worse on's wit for ever, 
And blam'd mine own for too much forwardness. 

Enter Violetta. 

Vio. O mistress, mistress ! 

Phil. How^now, what's the news ? 

Vio. O, I was out of my wits for a minute and a 

Phil. Hah! 

Vio. They are scarce settled yet, mistress. 

Phil. What's the matter ? 

Vio. Do you ask that seriously P 
Did you not hear me squeak ? 

Phil. How ? sure thou art 
Out of thy wits indeed. 

Vio. O, I'm well now, 
To what I was, mistress. 

Phil. Why, where's the gentleman ? 

Vio. The gentleman's forthcoming, and a lovely 
But not Francisco. 

* conceit] i. e. quickness of apprehension, 
i ask that seriously] Thus improved in Dodsley's Old Plays, 
and Weber's B. and F., ** ask me tluit question seriously /" 


Phil, Whatsay'st? not Francisco ? 

Vio. Pish, he's a coxcomb! think not on hini 

Phil. Whafs all this? 

Vio. I've of^en heard you say, ye'd rather hw« 
a fool feaiher'd; 
And now fortune has sent you one, a sweet jostf 

Robb'd even to nothing, but what &rst he bn»^ 

with him : 
The slaves had stript hira to the very shirti Mi^ 

I think it was a shirt; I know not well. 
For gallants wear both* now-a-days. 

Phil. This is strange. 

Vio. But for a lace, a hand, and as much ikin 
As I durst look ujion, he's a most sweet one; 
Francisco is a child of Egypt'' to him : 
I could not but, in pity to th' poor gentleman,' 
Fetch him down one of my old master's suits. 

Phil. 'Twas charitably done. 

Vio. You'd say, mistress, if you had seen tim 
as I did. Sweet youth! I'll be sworn, miiirew. 
he's the loveliest, properest young gentleman, ^ 
" " 's clothes dow* 

; I would 't W 
ivithout 'en, l"' 

been your luck to have seen hi 
for scaring on you. 

Phil. Go, prithee, fetch him i 

whom thou coni- 
{Exit VioiBrt*' 
Since fortune sends him, surely we'll make mucb *" 

And better he deserves our love and welcome 

> io(A] i. a. shirti and smock* ; see our aulhar'i Mf* ^ 
lembltri bttidet Women, act i. K. 4. 

" cliild of Egypt] L e. gipsy. 


Tlian tlie rexpectlesB fellow 'mas prepar'd for : 
y*t if he please mine eye never so happily, 
I will have trial of his wit and faith 
Before I make him partner with my honour. 
Twujuat Francisco's case, and he dcceiv'd me; 
ril take mote heed o' th' next for't : perhaps now, 
To funiisb hi» distresB, he will appear 
Tali affair, promising courtship ; but I'll prove him 

For a next meeting, when he needs me not. 
And are what he performs then when the storm 
Of his so rude misfortunes is blown over, 
And he himself again. A distrest man's Hatleries 
Are like vowa made in drink, or bonds in prison ; 
There'a poor assurance in 'em : when he's from mc, 
lApd id's own power, then 1 shall see his love. 
Ataif lure he comes. 

%£taer Martia M Baj 

s clothes, and 

-cross'd gentleman 
virgin's love 

better for you ; 

Uartu. Ne\ 
More happy in . 
Than I in yours. 

Vto. I'm sorry thcy'n 
1 wi>h'd 'em handsomer and more m lasliion, 
But truly, sir, our house affords it not: 
There is a suit of our clerk's hangs i' lli' garret, 
But that's far worse than tliis, if 1 may judge 
With modesty of men's matters. 

Martia. I deserve not (bis. 
Dear and kind gentlewoman. Is yond your mi*- 

I, here's my liusbaad young 

. Why, I 

welcome you, ! 

t gentleman. 


396 THB watow. 

To the unniBiched charity of your boow, 

My thank* are such poor Uiings tbey would 1 

shuoe roe. 
PniL- Beshrew thy heart for bringing o' him I I 

fear me 
I have fi>nnd wit eoough already id bin. 
If! Muld truly but resoUe' myaelf 
Hy huftband was thus handaomt at Dioeieen, 
Troth, I should tliink the better of him at foil 

Vro. Nay< miatregs, i«hat would be be, wete be 
in fashion — 
A hempen curse on those that put htm out on'l I — 
That now appears so handsooie lud so cotuely 
In clothes able to make a man an uobelieTer, 
And good for nothing but for shift, or so, 

If a man chance to fall i' th' ditch with bett«rt ., 

This is the beat that ever I raark'd in 'cm. — 
A man may make him ready *" in such clothn 
Without a candle. 

Phil. Ay, for shame of himself, wench. 

Vio. My master does it oft in winter mominga. 
And never sees himself till he be ready. 

Phil. No. nor then neither, as he should do. 
wencb. — 
I'm sorry, gentle sir, we cannot shew you 
A courtesy in all points answerable 
To your undoubted worth : your name, I cr 

Maktu. Ansaldo, lady. 

Phil. Tis a noble name, sir. 

Maktia. The most unfortunate now ! 

Vio. So do I think truly, 
As long as that suit's on. 


Phii.. The most unfitting 
And unprovided'st, air, of all our courteiies, 
I do presume is that you're pass'd already ; 
Your pardon but for that, and we're encourag'd. 

Maktia. My faithful service, lady. 

Phil. Please you, air, to taste the next, 
A poor alight banquet, for sure I think you were 
Uiiluckily prevented of your supper, sir. 

Maktia. My fortune makes me more than amends. 

In your sweet kindness, which so nobly shewn to 

It makes me bold to apeak my occasions to you ; 
I am this morning, that with clearness now 
So cheerfully hastens me, to meet a friend 
Upon my state's establishing, and the place 
Ten mile from hence : O, I am forc'd unwillingly 
To crave your leave for't, which done, I return 
In service plentiful. 

Phil. Is't so important! 

Martia. If I should fail, as n 

Pint. I think too well of yoi 
Upon this small actjuaintance. 

Martia. My great happiness ! 

Phil. But when should I be sure of you hero 

Martia. As fast as speed can possibly return me. 

Phil. You will not fail ? 

Martia. May never wish go well with me then ! 

Phil. There's to bear cliarges, sir. [Cjce* purse. 

Martia. Courtesy dwells in you : 
I brought my horse up with me from the woods. 
That's all the good they left me, 'gainst their wills 

May your kind breast never want comfort, lady, 
But still supplied as liberally as you give ! 


I'uiL. Farewell, sir, and be faiihfuli 
Martia. Time shall proTc mc. [£ 

Fmi.. In niy opinion,^ now, this young tnaji's 
To keep bis word ; he's modesl, wise, and courteouSi 
He has the language of an honest soul in him ;^ 
A woman's reputation may tie safe there, 
I'm much dcceiv'd else i has a faithful eye, 
If itbe wellobserv'd. 

Vio. Good speed be with thee, sir ! — 
He puts him to't, i'faith. [^Loolting oal, 

Phil, Violetta. 
Vio. Mistress? 

Phil. Alas, what have we done, wench ? 
Vio. What's the matter, mistress? , 

Phil. Run, run, call him again; he must suy, 
tell him. 
Though it be upon's undoing ; we're undone else ; 
Your master's clothes, they're known the coiuiiry 

Vio. Now, by this light, that's true, and writ 
remember'd ; 
But there's no calling of him, he's out of sight a 

Phil. O, what will people think? 

Vio. What can they think, mistress ? 
The gentleman has the worst on't : were I he n 
I'd make this ten mile forty mile about. 
Before I'd ride through any tnarket'town with ^ 

Phil. Will he be careful, think'st? 

Vio. My life for yours, mistress. 

Phil. 1 shall long mightily to see him ^en.^ 

Vio. And ao shall I ; I shall ne'er laugh till tl' 

' agea] See note, p. 182. 


Near Valeria's House. 

Enter Ricardo and Second Suitor <m one tide, and 
Valeria and First Suitor on the other. 

Rtc. It goes well hitherto, my sweet protector. 

Ssc. Suit. Ay, and shall still to th' end, to th' 
end, my honey : 
Wherefore have I enough, but to have't go well, sir ? 

First Suit. My whole state on't, thou over- 
throw'st him, witlow. 

Val. I hope well still, sir. 

First Suit. Hope? be certain, wench : 
I make no question now but thou art mine, 
As sure as if I had thee in thy night-gear. 

Val. Byrlady," that I doubt, sir. 

First Suit. O, 'tis clear, wench, 
By one thing that I mark'd. 

Val. What's that, good, sweet sir ? 

First Svit. A thing that never fail'd me. 

Val. Good sir, what ? 

First Suit. I heard our counsellor speak a word 
of comfort, 
Invita volttntate ; ha, that's he, nench. 
The word of words, the precious chief, i'faith ! 

Val. Invila volunlate ; what's the meaning, sir? 

First Suit. Hlfy, there I leave you, but assure 

I never heard him speak that word i' my life. 
But the cause went on's side, that I mark'd ever. 
Sec. Suit. Do, do, and spare not : thou wouldst 
talk with her t 

' Byrlady] See note, p. 9, 


Ric. Yes, with your leave and lilciog. 

Sec. Sqit. Do, my adoption. 
My chosen child ; and° iliou hold's! so obedient, 
Sure thou wilt live and cozen all my kindred. 

Ric. a child's pari in your love, that's my am- 
bition, sir. 

Sec. Sdit, Go, and deserve it then; pleaae ne 
well now ; 
1 love wrangling a' life,^ boy, there's iny d«1ig 
I have no other venery but vexation, 
That's all, my honey, now : smartly non 
I have enough, and 1 will hove my humi 

Ric, This need not ha' bten, widow. 

Val. You say right, sir ; 
No, nor your treachery, your close conspiracy 
Against me for my wealth, need not ha' been neither- 

Ric, I had you fairly ; I scorn treachery 
To your woman that I never meant lo marry, 
Much more to you, whom I reaerv'd for wife. 

V*t. How, wife ? 

Ric. Ay, wife, wife, widow ; be not ssfaam'tl on't. 
It's the best calling ever woman came to. 
And all your grace indeed, brag as you list, 

Skc. SriT. Ha, ha ! 

Val. I grant you, sir, but not to be your « 

First Suit. O, O 1 

Ric, Not mine ? I think 'tia the beat barge 
That e'er thou mad'st i' thy life, or ever shall a 
When my head's laid, but that's'^ol yet this U 

Let's talk of nearer 

- n»rf] i. e. if. 

' a' I^e] See note, p. 31S — illered, i 
and Webtr's B. and F., cs " I love a tri 


Ric. Now, before conscience, you're a wilful 

Val. How? 

Ric. Ay, uid I fear you spend my goods lavishly. 

Vai. Your goods ? 

Ric. I shall miss much, I doubt me. 
When I come to look over the inventory. 

Val. 111 give you my word you shall, sir. 

Ric. Look to't, widow ; 
A night may come will call you to account for't. 

Val. O, if you had me now, sir, in this heat, 
I do but think how you!d be reveng'd on me ! 

Ric. Ay, may I perish else; if I would not get 
Three children at a birth, andi I could, o' thee t 

First Suit. Take off" your youngster there. 

Sec. Suit. Take off your widow first, 
He shall have the last word, I pay for't dearly. — 
To her again, sweet hoy, that side's the weaker : 
I have enough, and 1 will have my humour. 
Enter Bbandino and Martino. 

Val. O brother, see I'm up to th' ears in law 

Look, copy' upon copy. 

Bban. 'Twere grief enough. 
If a man did but hear on't, but 1 am 
In pain to see it. 

Val. What, sore eyes still, brother ? 

Bran. Worse and worse, sister ; the old woman's 

Does me no good. 

Val. Why, 't'as help'd many, sir. 

< and] i. e. if. 

' ^'py^ " '- ^- p'eniy, a sense in nhich B^n Jonion fre- 
quently uted ccpy, from ojiia. Hence we may infer that he 
wrote tliis portion o( the play. The next accne is in his beel 
" cop; upon copy" 

a be undemood of law-papers. 

BftAK. It brips not ne, Vva lore. 

Mam. O. O ! 

Val. Wlnt ails Maitino too ! 

Mar. O. O, the loollncbe, tbe toothacbe * 

Bu-M. Ah, poor worm I ihii be eodnrea for n 

T1i«re beat* not a nuire mtmial pntse nf psnjon 
In a kiixi hmband wben hit wife breeds child 
Than in Martino ; I ha' inark'd il 
He breeds all ray paini in's te«th iiill, and to d 

Il il hi* ey»-tool)i too. 

Mas. Av. ay, ay, ay. 

Vxu. Where ,M I hear late of a skilfol feUo*. 
Good for all kind of midadieri ! true. true, sir : 
His flag hangs out in (own here i' ih' Cro 
With admirable cures of all conditions; 
It shews him a great iravellini; end leam'd e 

Bran. We'll both to him, Mar ' 

V&L. Hark you, brother ; 
Perhaps you may prevail, as one indifferent. 

First Scit. Ay, about that, sweet widow. 

Val. True; speak low, sir. 

Urak, Well, what's the business t say. say. 

Val. Marry, this, brother; 
Call the young man aside from [he old wolf there 
And whisper in his ear a thousand dollars, 
Ifhe will vanish and let fall the suit, 
And never put's to no more cost and trouble. 

First Scit. Say me those words, good sir|d 
make 'em worth 
A chain of gold to you at your sister's weddinj 

Bban. 1 shall do much for ihai. 
Enttr Vi 

Val. Welcome, sweetheart, 
■ Id yuil} i. e. to be evei 


Thou com'st most happily ; I*m bold to send for thee 
To make a purpose-good. 

Vio. I take delight, forsooth* 
In any such employment. 

First Suit. Good wench, trust me. 

Ria How, sir, let fall the suit? 'life, 111 go 
naked first. 

Brak. a thousand dollars, sir, think upon them. 

Ric. Why, they're but a ^ousand dollars, when 
they're thought on. 

Bban. a good round sum. 

Ric. a good round widow's better ; 
There's meat and money too. I have been bought 
Out of my lands, and yielded ; but, sir, scorn 
To be bought out of my affection. 

Bran. Why, here's even just my university spirit; 
I priz'd a piece of red deer above gold then. 

Ric. My patron would be mad, and^ he should 
hear on't. 

Mar. I pray, what's good, sir, for a wicked tooth ? 

Ric. Hang'd, drawn, and quartering : is*t a hollow 

Mar. Ay, 'tis a hollow one. 

Ric. Then take the powder 
Of a burnt warrant, mix'd with oil of felon. 

Mar. Why sure you mock me. 

Ric. Troth, I think I do, sir. 

Sec. Suit. Come hither, honey ; what's the news ? 
in whispers. 

Bran. He will not be bought out. 

Val. No ? that's strange, brother : 
Pray take a little pains about this project then. 
And try what that ejffects. 

Bran. I like this better. — 

^ and] i. e. if. 


liook yoii, sweet gentles, see what I prodace here 
For amity's sake and peace, to end all controveia 
This gen lie woman, my charge, left by her friell 
Whom for her person and her portion 
I could bestow most richly, but in pity 
To her afTection, which lies bent at you, 
I am content to yield to her desire. 

Ric. Ac mc ; 

BitAK, But for tbia jar, 't had ne'er been offi 
I bring you flesb snd money, a rich heir. 
And a maid too, and that's a thing worth thankE, s 
Nay, one that has rid fifteen mile ibis morning 
For your love only. 

Sec. Sdit. Honey, hearken after her ; 
Being rich, I can have all my money there ; 
Ease my purse well, and never wage law furt' 
I have enough, yet 1 will have my bui 

Ric. Do yoi ■ 

Vio. O, infinitely! 
Ric. I do not ask thi 
But only to know what i 
Vio. if y til 

that I meant to have^ 
ne in thy head to loven 
', sir ; that's all I can say. 

Ric. 'Las, poor soul ! where didst ihou love iue 
first, prithee ? 

Vio. In happy hour be't spoke, out at a windon-, 

Ric. a window ? prithee, clap't to, and call it 

What was I doing then, should make thee love me? 

Vio, Twirling your band-string, which, me- 
t hough t, became you 
So generously well. 

Ric. 'Twas a good quality to choose a husband 
for ; tliat love was likely to be tied in matrimony 
that begun in a band-string ; yet I ha' know n M 
much come to pass ere now upon a ussel. 


^oo weDy sister ; I may be oosened in a maid, I 
Camiot in a widow. 

Sec. Suit. Art thoa come home again ? stick'st 
thoa there stiU ? 
I will defend thee still then. 

FiBST Suit. Sir, yoor malice 
Will have enough on't. 

Sec Suit. I will have my humour. 

FiEST Suit. Beggary will prove the sponge. 

Sec. Suit. Sponge i' thy gascoyns. 
Thy gally-gascoyns^ there ! 

Ric. Ha, brave protector ! 

Bran. I thought 'twould come to open wars 
again : 
Let 'em agree as they will, two testy fops ! 
ril have a care of mine eyes. 

Mar. I of my chops. {^Exeunt, 


A Room in the Cross Inn, 

Enter Latrocinio disguised as an empiric^ and 

OccuLTO as his man, 

Lat. Away, out with the banner! send's good 
luck to-day ! 
Occ. I warrant you ; your name's spread, sir, for 
an empiric : 

\_Hanging up a Banner of Cures and Diseases, 
There's an old mason troubled with the stone 
Has sent to you this morning for your counsel, 
He would have ease fain. 

Lat. Marry, I cannot blame him, sir ; 
But how he will come by't, there lies the question. 

» gaily- gascoyns] " i. e. wide hose or slops*' [trousers]. 



Occ You must do somewfaat, sir; for he*t twob 
most piteonsly. 
Has urine in him now was brew'd last Mardi* 

Lat. Twill be rich gear for djers. 

Occ. I would 'twere come to that, sir. 

Lat. Le' me see, 
111 send him a whole muskets charge of gunpowder.^ 

Occ. Gunpowder ? what, sir, to break tl^ stone ? 

Lat. Ay, by my &ith, sir. 
It is the likeliest thing I know to do't ; 
I'm sure it breaks stone-walls and castles down; 
I see no reason but't should break the stone. 

Occ. Nay, use your pleasure, sir. 

Lat. Troth, if that do not, 
I ha' nothing else that wilL' 

Occ. I know that too. 

Lat. Why then thou'rt a coxcomb to make ques- 
tion on't. 
Go call in all the rest, I've employment for them. 

[^Exii OCCULTO. 
When the highways grow thin with travellers, 
And few portmanteaus stirring, as all trades 
Have their dead time we see, thievery poor takings, 
And lechery cold doings, and so forwards still ; 

^ Le* me tee, 

ni tend him a whole mtuket-eharge of gunpowder, &c. &c.] 
So in The Honest Lawyer, Acted hy the Qoeenet MaiesHet Ser- 
vantt, Wntten by S. S. 1616. 4to. ; 

" Valentine. What is't Sir, that my Art cannot extend to! 
Gripe. The stone, the stone : I am pittifuily grip*d with 

the stone 


Let's see. Me thinks a little Gun-powder 

Should haue some strange relation to this fit 

I haue seene Gun-powder oft driue out stones 

From Forts and Castle- walls," &c. Sig. p 2. 

Concerning this passage, see my remark, p. 340. 


"X^hen do I take my inn, and those curmudgeons 
^Vhose purses I can never get abroad, 
I take 'em at more ease here i' my chamber, 
^nd make 'em come to me ; it's more state-like too. 
I^ang him that has but one way to his trade ! 
He's like a mouth that eats but on one side, 
A.nd half-cozens his belly, 'specially if he dine 'mong 

A.nd both-handed feeders. — Stratio, Silvio, and Fi- 

ducio ! 

Enter Silvio, Stratio, and Fiducio. 

I will have none led out, there's parts for you. 
SiL. For us ? pray let us have 'em. 
Lat. Change yourselves 
With all speed possible into several shapes, 
Far from your own : as, you a farmer, sir ; 
A grazier you ; and you may be a miller. 

Fid. O no, a miller comes too near a thief; 
That may spoil all again. 

Lat. Some country tailor then. 
Fid. That's near enough, byrlady,^ yet I'll ven- 
ture that ; 
The miller's a white devil, he wears his theft 
Like innocence in badges most apparently 
Upon his nose, sometimes between his lips ; 
The tailor modestly between his legs. 

Lat. Why, pray, do you 'present that modest 
thief, then ; 
And hark you, for the purpose. 
SiL. 'Twill improve you, sir. 
Lat. 'Twill get believers, believe that, my mas- 
Repute and confidence, and make all things clearer ; 

^ byrlady'\ See note, p. 9. 

4 'A THI 


« « A • 

A* ^£'- : 1^* '. : ::-v rk.ii ; :'r,trf irr few ins 
But :-6^*r :LtJr r:.ido»5, •'ir*. ::• «-et 'tzn off: 
Tl*en where tLe ain its^jf is bm a shadow. 
What Deed » there, mv frieods ! M^ke haste, awav. 
fin. lEzemmt Silvio, Stkatio, amd Fn>ccia 

Rt-rmltr OoccxTOw 

Occ. Where are yon, sir ? 

Lat. Not far, man ; what's the news ? 

Ooc. Th' old justioe, sir, whom we robb'd once ^ 
bj moonlight. 
And bound his man and he in haycock time 
With a rope made of horse-meat, and in pity 
Left their mares by *em, which, I think, ere mid- "— 

Did eat their hay-bound masters both at liberty—— — ^ 

Lat. 'Life, what of him, man ? 

Occ. He's inquiring earnestly 
For the great man of art, indeed for you, sir : 
Therefore withdraw, sweet sir; make yourself dainty*^B7 

And that's three parts of any profession. 

Lat. I have enough on't. [£xtf. 

Enter Martia in Branding's clothei. 

Occ. How now, what thing's this ? 
Now, by this light, the second part o* th' justice 
Newly reviv'd, with never a hair on's face. 
It should be the first rather by his smoothness, 
But I ha' known the first part written last :' 

' Ihefirtt part written Uut] *' This alludes to the first and 
second parts of historical plays and tragedies, which bad been 
BO much in fashion. It has been ascertained in more than one 
instance, that the first part of a successful play was written 
after the second had met with applause." Coluer. 


^Tis be, or let me perish, the young gentleman 
^Ve robb'd and stnpt ; but I am far from knowledge 
now. [^Aside, 

Martia. One word, I pray, sir. 
Occ. With roe, gentle sir ? 
Martia. Was &ere not lately seen about these 
parts, sir, 
A knot of fellows, whose conditions 
Are privily suspected ? 

Occ. Why do you ask, sir ? 

Martia. There was a poor young gentleman 

robb'd last night. 
Occ. Robb'd? 

Martia. Stript of all, i'faith. 
Occ. O beastly rascals ! 
*La8, what was he ? 

Martia. Look o' me, and know him, sir. 
Occ. Hard-hearted villains ! strip ? troth, when 
I saw you, 
Methought those clothes were never made for you, 
Martia. Want made me glad o* 'em. 
Occ. Send you better fortunes, sir ! — 
That we may have a bout with you once again. 

Martia. I thank you for your wish of love, kind 

Occ. 'Tis with my heart, i'faith; now store of 
And better clothes be with you ! 

Martia. There's some honest yet, 
And charitably-minded. How, what's here to do ? 

l_Reads on the banner. 
Here within this place is cur*d 
All the griefs that were ever endured. 
Nay, there thou liest ; I endur'd one last night 


r: ht: 'Roads, 

BreeXk lijol tltxci htyM ptrfmrntTy 

FuAmlm m 0*6, a/err, ■t^jia . 

Or «4af dufscjr aot'tr heUmgmtr 

Stent f rwutMrCf upoMM 

Yd too dtmr k skaii ■ 
Hurt*! eoBfdonabl J nid, ffiudi. [Rtmds. 

In brirf^ yam cammiaL, /i 

Be mmmmd mfoMt mm I 
Bfrbdj,^ joa shall paurdoa me, IH not try't, sir. 

Enter Bkaitdiso and Mabtivo. 

Beav. Msrtino, is not yond mj hinder pnts? 

Mae. Yes, and your fore parts too» sir. 

Beav. I trow so; 
I never saw my hind parts in my life else. 
No, nor my fore ones neither. — What are yon, sir? 
Are you a justice, pray ? 

Martia. a justice ? no, truly. 

Beak. How came this suit to you, then ? 

Maetia. How this suit? 
Why, must he needs be a justice, sir, that wears it? 

Bean. You*11 find it so ; 'twas made for nobody 
I paid for*t. 

Martia. O strange fortune ! I've undone 
The charitable woman. [^Atide. 

Bran. He'll be gone. 
Martino, hold him fast, I'll call for aid. 

Martia. Hold me ? O curse of fate ! 

^Strikes Martino 

Mar. O master, master! 

r Byrlady] See note, p. 9. 


Brak. What ails Martino ? 

Mar. In my conscience, 
Has beat out the wrong tooth ; I feel it now 
Three degrees off. 

Bran. O slave, spoiFd a fine penman ! 

Martia. He lack'd good manners, though ; lay 
hands o' me ? 
1 scorn all the deserts that belong to it 

Re-enter Latrocinio. 

Lat. Why, how now ? what's the broil ? 

Bran. The man of art, 
I take you, sir, to be. 

Lat. Vm the professor 
Of those slight cures you read of in the banner. 

Bran. Our business was to you, most skilful sir ; 
But in the way to you, right worshipful, 
I met a thief. 

Lat. a thief? 

Bran. With my clothes on, sir : 
Let but the hose* be searched, I'll pawn my life 
There's yet the tailor's bill in one o' th' pockets, 
And a white thimble that I found i' moonlight — 
Thou saw'st me when I put it in, Martino ? 

Mar. Oy, oy ! 

Bran. O, has spoil'd 
The worthiest clerk that e'er drew warrant here ! 

Lat. Sir, you're a stranger, but I must deal plain 
with you ; 
That suit of clothes must needs come oddly to you. 

Martia. I dare npt say which way, that's my 
affliction. \_Aside. 

Lat. Is not your worship's name signor Bran- 
dino, sir ? 

* hose'i i. e. breeches — altered in Dodsley's Old PlaySy and 
Weber's B, and /'., to " coat!" 


BftAX. It has been so these threescore yearfs] and 

Lat. I heard there was a robbery done last night 
Near to your house. 

Maetia. Yoq heard a truth dien, sir. 
And I the man was robb'd. 

Lat. Ah, that's too gross ! — 
Send him away for fear of &rther mischief; 
I do not like him, he's a cunning knave. 

BaAir. I want but aid. 

Lat. Within there ! 

Enter ServanU, 

BaAK. Seize upon 
That impudent thief. 

Martia. Then hear me speak. 
Bran. Away! 
I'll neither hear thee speak, nor wear those clothes 

again. — 
To prison with the varlet ! 
Martia. How am I punish'd ! 
Bran. I'll make thee bring out all before I leave 
thee. [Exeunt Servants with Martia. 

Lat. You've took an excellent course with this 

bold villain, sir. 
Bran. I'm sworn for service to the commonwealth, 

Enter Silvio, Stratio, and Fiducio, disguised. 

What are these, learned sir ? 

Lat. O, they're my patients. — 
Good morrow, gout, rupture, and palsy. 

Stra. 'Tis farewell gout almost, I thank your 

Lat. What, no, you cannot part so soon, I hope ? 
You came but lately to me. 


Stra. But most happily ; 
I can go near to leap, sir. [^Leaps, 

Lat. What, you cannot ? 
Away, I say! take heed, he not too vent'rous 

though ; 
IVe had you but three days, remember that. 

Stra. Those three are better than three hundred, 
sir. [^Leapy. 

Lat. Yet again ? 

Stra. Ease takes pleasure to be known, sir. 
Lat. You with the rupture there, hernia in scro- 
Pray let me see your space* this morning ; walk, sir, 
rU take your distance straight; 'twas F. O. yes- 
terday : 
Ah, sirrah, here's a simple alteration ! 
Secundo gradu, ye F. U. already ; 
Here's a most happy change. Be of good comfort, 

Your knees are come within three inches now 
Of one another ; by to-morrow noon, 
I'll make 'em kiss and jostle. 
SiL. Bless your worship! 
Bran. You've a hundred prayers in a morning, 

Lat. Faith, we've a few to pass away the day 
with. — 
Tailor, you had a stitch ? 

Fid. O, good your worship, 
I have had none since Easter : were I rid 
But of this whoreson palsy, I were happy ; 
I cannot thread my needle. 

Lat. No ? that's hard ; 
I never mark'd so much. 

■ space'\ Altered by editors to " pace " — but, I belie ve, 

Wsm. It oaiiKs W 

Lat. aw. pcKv 1 
ilxip nr sow 
To M« mut 1k4p titif fellov at 

BMJk%. And malLe lua 

Lat. Af a fteef^ 
FroB die disease: oo't. 

BtJiv. Tis to me 

Lat. Yon with jour 

Here, take me this nrmiil giiw, mil hrH it Ttrf^^^ • 

Yet more, sir ; yet, I saj ; to. 

Beav. Admirable ! 

Lat. Go, lire, and thread thj needle. 

Beax. Here, Martino:— » 
Alas, poor fool, his mouth is fidl of praises. 
And cannot utter 'em. 

Lat. No ? what's the malady ? 

Bkak. The fury of a tooth. 

Lat. A tooth ? ha, ha ! 
I thought 't had been some gangrene, fistula. 
Canker, or ramex. 

Bran. No, it's enough as 'tis, sir. 

Lat. My man shall ease that straight. — Sit you 
down there, sir — [Martino seats himself. 
Take the tooth, sirrah, daintily, insensibly — 
But what's your worship's malady ? that's for me, 

Bran. Marry, pray, look you, sir ; your wor- 
ship's counsel 
About mine eyes. 

Lat. Sore eyes ? that's nothing too, sir. 

Bran. Byrlady,' I that feel it think it somewhat 

• Byrlady] See note, p. 9. 


Lat. Have you no convulsions, pricking aches, 
Huptures, or apostemates ? 

Bran. No, by my faith, sir, 
^or do I desire to have 'em. 

Lat. Those are cures ; 
There do I win my fame, sir. — Quickly, sirrah, 
Heach me the eye-cup hither. — 

[OccuLTo gives him the eye-cup. 
Do you make water well, sir? 
Bran. I'm all well there. 
Lat. You feel no grief i' th* kidney ? 
Bran. Sound, sound, sound, sir. 
Lat. O, here's a breath, sir, I must talk withal. 
One of these mornings. 

Bran. There I think, i'faith, 
I am to blame indeed, and my wife's words 
Are come to pass, sir. 

Mar. O, O ! 'tis not that, 'tis not that ! 

[ While OccuLTo gives a pull at one of his teeth. 
It is the next beyond it ; there, there, there ! 
Occ. The best have their mistakings : now I'll 

fit you, sir. 
Bran. What's that, sweet sir, that comforts with 

his coolness ? 
Lat. O, sovereign gear : wink hard, and keep it 
in, sir. 
[^fVhiU he applies the eye-cup to Branding, 
he picks his pocket. 
Mar. O, O, O ! 

Occ. Nay, here he goes ; one twitch more, and 
he comes, sir. 
[ While he draws one of Martino's teeth^ he 
picks his pocket. 
Mar. Auh, ho ! 
Occ. Spit out ; I told you he was gone, sir. 



I feclgmc 
Bias. So do I« 
Mas. roi rid of a 

Of a scald* little 

Lat. Please bot ▼( 
To take three drops of the rich water with yoo, 
111 nndertake joor man shaD cme jron, sir. 
At twice V joar own chamber. 

BaAV. Shall he so, sir ? 

Lat. I will uphold him in*t. 

Mae. Then will I do*t, sir. 

Lat. How lively your man's now ! 

Mae. O, I'm so light, methinks. 
Over I was !*» 

Bean. What is*t contents your worship f 

Lat. Even what your wonhip please ; I am n 

Bean. My purse is gone, Martino ! 

Lat. How, your purse, sir ? 

Beak. 'Tis gone, i'faith ; Fve been amoi^ soi 

Mae. And that's a thing 
I ever gave you warning of, master ; you care no'^ 
What company you run into. 

Bran. Lend me some money ; chide me anon, ^ 
A pox on 'em for vipers ! they ha' suck'd blood 
o' me. 

Mar. O master ! 

Bran. How now, man ? 

• tcaid] See note, p. 15. 

^ Over I uftu] i. e. above, beyond what I was — abiurdly 
nltorod by Weber to ** As e'er / uhu" 


Mar. Mv purse is gone too ! 

Bran. How? 
t*]l ne'er take warning more of thee while I live then ; 
-Plioa art an hypocrite, and art not fit 
I^o give good counsel to thy master, that 
Canst not keep from ill company thyself. 

Lat. This is most strange, sir ; both your purses 
gone ! 

Mar. Sir, I'd my hand on mine when I came in. 

Lat. Are you but sure of that ? O, would you 
were I 

Mar. As I'm of ease. 

Lat. Then they're both gone one way, 
Ete that your comfort. 

Bean. Ay, but what way's that, sir ? 

Lat. That close knave in your clothes has got 
*em both ; 
**Tis well you've clapt him fast. 

Bran. Why, that's impossible. 

Lat. O, tell not me, sir ! I ha' known purses 
-And the thief stand and look one full i' th' face, 
^s I may do your worship and your man now. 

Mar. Nay, that's most certain, master. 

Bran. I will make 
That rascal in my clothes answer all this then. 
And all the robberies that have been done 
Since the moon chang'd. — Get you home first, Mar- 

And know if any of my wife's things are missing. 
Or any more of mine : tell her he's taken. 
And by that token he has took both our purses. 

Mar. That's an ill token, master. 

Bran. That's all one, sir, 
She must have that or nothing ; for I'm sure 
The rascal has left nothing else for a token* 


Begone ! ^_ 

Make haste again, and meet me part o' th' wwf. 

Mar. I'll hang the villain. 
And 'twere for notliing but the souse he gare me. 

Bran. Sir, I depart Bsham'd of my requital, 
And leave this seal-ring with ynu as a pledge 
Of further thankfulness. [Ghen Wa". 

Lat. No, I beaeech you, sir. 

Bban. Indeed you shall, sir. 

Lat. O, your worship's word, air. 

Bban. You shall have my word too, for a rare 
As e'er I met withal. [£/il. 

Lat. Clear sight be nilh you, sir ; 
If conduit-waier, and my hosless' milk. 
That comes with the ninth child now, may afibril iti 
'Life, I fear'd none but thee, my villanous tooth- 

Occ. There was no fear of me ; I've often loU 

I was bound prentice to a barber once, 
But ran away i' th' second year. 

That made thee give a pull at the wrong tooth, 
And me afraid of tliee. What have we there, sirs' 

Occ. Some threescore dollars i' the master's punc 
And sixteen in the clerk's, a silver seal. 
Two or three amber beads, and four blank warranu- 

Lat, Warrants ! where be they ? the best ne«' 
came yet : 
'Mass, here's his hand, and here's his seal ; I thai)' 

This comes most luckily ; one of our fellows 
Was took last night, we'll set him first at liberty, 
And other good boys afler him ; and if he 


In tb' old justice's suit, whom we*^ robb*d lately, 
Will come off roundly,* we'll set him free too. 
Occ. That were a good deed, faith ; we may, in 

Lat. There's nothing done merely for pity now- 
Money or ware must help too. 

Songi in partSf by Latrocinio and the rest. 

Give me fortune i give me healthy 
Give me freedom^ I'll get wealth : 
Who complains his fate's amisSf 
When he has the wide world his ? 
He that has the devil in fee 
Can have but all, and so have we. 
Give us fortune, give us health. 
Give us freedom, we'll get wealth. 
In every hamlet, town, and city, 
He has lands that was bom witty. 



A Room in Branding's House. 
Enter Philippa and Violetta. 

Phil. How well this gentleman keeps his pro- 
mise too ! 
Sure there's no trust in man. 

Vio. They're all Franciscos, 
That's my opinion, mistress ; fools, or false ones. 
He might have had the honesty yet, i'faith. 
To send my master's clothes home. 

«= we] Old ed. *' he." 

«* come off roundly'] i. e. pay well. 


Phil. Ay, tlioM clothes! 

Vio. Colliers come by the door erery day, 
tress — 
Nsy, this is market-dsy too, poulterers, butchers ; 
They would have lain most daintily in a pannier. 
And kept veal from the wind. 

Phil. Those clothes much trouble me. 

Vio. Faith, and* he were a gentleman, as 
To be, they would trouble him too, I think ; 
Methinks he should have small desire to keep ' 

Phil. Faith, and less pride to wear 'em, I diool^ 
think, wench, 
Unless he kept 'em as a testimony 
For after-times, to shew what misery 
He past in his young days, and then weep o*er 'em.^- 

Vio. Weep, mistress? 
Nay, sure, methinks he should not weep for laughing.^ 

Enter Martin o. 

Phil. Martino ? O, we're spoil'd, wench ! are^ 

they come then ? 
Mar. Mistress, be of good cheer, IVe exceUent 
news for you ; 
Comfort your heart. What have you to breakfast, 

mistress ? 
You shall have all again, I warrant you. 
Phil. What says he, wench ? 
Vio. Tm loath to understand him. 
Mar. Give me a note of all your things, sweet 
mistress ; 
You shall not lose a hair, take*t of my word ; 
We have him safe enough. 

* and] i. e. if. 


Phil. O, *las, sweet wench, 
'Xhis man talks fearfully ! 

Vio. And I know not what yet ; 
1*hat*s the worst, mistress. 

Mar. Can you tell me, pray, 
Whether the rascal has broke ope my desk or no ? 
1*here'8 a fine little barrel of pome- citrons 
Vould have serv'd me this seven year : O, and my 

fig-chsese ! 
The fig' of everlasting obloquy 
Cro with him, if he have eat it ! I'll make haste ; 
He cannot eat it all yet. He was taken, mistress, 
Crrossly and beastly ; how do you think, i*faith ? 
Phil. I know not, sir. 
Mar. Troth, in my master's clothes : 
l^ould any thief but a beast been taken so ? 
Phil. Wench, wench ! 
Vio. I have grief enough of mine own to tend, 

Phil. Did he confess the robbery ? 
Mar. O no, no, mistress ; 
He's a young cunning rascal, he confessed nothing ; 
While we were examining on him, he took away 
My master's purse and mine, but confess'd nothing 
Phil. That's but some slanderous injury rais'd 
against him. — \_Ande, 

Came not your master with you ? 

Mar. No, sweet mistress : 
I must make haste and meet him ; pray, despatch 
me then. 
Phil. I've look'd o'er all with special heedful- 
ness ; 

' The figt &c.] See the latter part of GifTord's note on 
h, Jouson's Works, vol. i. p. 51, and Donee's lUutL of Shake- 
tpeare, vol. i. p. 492. 



There's nothing niiss'd, I can usure you, i 
But that suit ofyouT master's. 

Mar. I'm right glad on't : 
That suit would hang him, yet 1 would not have 
Him hang'd in that suit though ; it will disgrace 
My master's fashion for ever, and make it as haiefnl 
As yellow bands.* ^ExiL 

Phil. O what shall'a do, wench? 

Vio. 'Tis no marvel, mistress, ■ 
The poor young gentlemon could not keep his pro- 

Phil. Alas, sweet man, has confess'd nothing 
yet, wench ! 

Vio. That shews his constancy and love I 

But you must do't of force, there is no help for*!. 
The truth can neither shame nor hurt you much; 
Let 'em make what they can on't. 'Twere sin and 

pity, i'faith, 
To cast away so sweet a gentleman 
For such a pair of inlidcl hose'' and doublet; 
I'd not hang a Jew for a whole wardrobe on 'em. 
Phil. Thou aay'st true, wench. 

■ j/tUoa bandi] i. e. bands dyed wilh ytllof itarrh, wluch 
wai once vitj rashionablp, and is laid lo hatr been iavenlcd 
by Mri, Turner, who was exscuied Nov. 1815, for havioc 
been concerned in the murder of Sir Thomm OTerbury> Ula 
wore at ibe gaJlons a ruff of her favourile cotour.^thc bjuig- 
man, we are lold. having his bandi and cufTs also yellow. 
Hence ilie epithet •■ hateful" in the teit. Yd B. Rich, in 
Tht Iruk Hubbub, declaret that ■> ^llon aiarchl banda .... 
hcganoe even then [i e. immcdialdy after Mrs. Tiwner'i 
deaib] to be more generatl than they were before ■" and ihej 
were ccruinly worn in 1621 : »ee note on Aibatnacr—Hoii- 
ley'a Old Ptayt, vol. viL p. 133, lut cd. , 

** AhcJ i. e. breeches. 


Enter Martia, disguised as before, 

Vio. O, O, they're come again, mistress ! 

Phil. Signor Ansaldo ? 

M A&TiA. The same ; mightily cross'd, hidy» 
But, past hope, freed again by a doctor's means, 
A man of art, I know not justly what indeed ; 
Bat pity, and the fortunate gold you gave me, 
Wrought my release between 'em. 

Phil. Met you not 
My husband's man ? 

Martia. I took such strange ways, lady, 
I hardly met a creature. 

Phil. O, most welcome ! 

Vio. But how shall we bestow him now we have 
him, mistress ? 

Phil. AJas, that's true ! 

Vio. Martino may come back again. 

Phil. Step you into that little chamber speedily, 
sir, — 
And dress him up in one of my gowns and head- 
His youth will well endure it. 

Vio. That will be admirable. 

Phil. Nay, do't, do't quickly then, and cut that 
Into a hundred pieces, that it may never 
Be known again. 

Vio. A hundred ? nay, ten thousand at the least, 
mistress ; for if there be a piece of that suit left as 
big as my nail, the deed will come out : 'tis worse 
than a murder ; I fear 'twill never be hid. 

Phil. Away, do your endeavour, and despatch, 
wench. {_Exeunt Violetta and Martia. 

I've thought upon a way of certain safety. 
And I may keep him while I have him too. 


Without Ruspicion now ; I've heard o' th' like^ 
A gentleman, that for n latly'a love 
Was thought six montlis her woman, tended on hex 
In her own garments, and she being a widow, 
Lay night by night with her in way of comfort; 
Marry, in conclusion, match they did It^ether ; 
Would I'd a copy of the same conclusion I 

Enter Brandino teith a wriling. 
He's come himself now. If thou be'st a happy 

Be fortunate in thy speed ! I'll delay lime 
With all the means I can.— O, welcome, air ! 
Bran. I'll speak to you anon, wife, and kbs you 
shortly ; 
I'm very busy yet : ^reads') CockKy-dorm, Memberry, 
Her manor-kmtae at Welt-dan, 
Phil. What's that, good sir ? 
Bran. The widow's, your sweet sister's deed of 


Sh'as made alt her estate over to me, wench; 
She'll be too hard for 'em all : and now come buss 

Good luck after thieves' handsel. 

Phil. O 'tis happy, air, 
You have him fast ! 

Bran. I ha' laid him safe enough, wench. • 

Phil. I was bo lost in joy at the report orf 
I ijuite forgot one thing to tell Martino. 

Brak. What's that, sweet blood l 

Phil. He and his villains, sir, 
Robb'd a sweet gentlewoman last night. 

Bran. A gentlewoman ? 

Phil. Nay, most uncivilly and basely siript I 

Bran. O barbarous slaves ! 


Phil. I wu eTcn bin, for wonumbood'a take, 
Alas, and cluuity's, (o receive ber in. 
And clothe bcr poor wants in a suit of mine. 

Bkah. Twaa most religionily done ; I long for 
Who have I bronght to Bee thee, (hink'st thou, 

Phil. Nay, sir, I know not. 

Bbah. Guess, I prithee, heartily; 
An eneray of thine. 

Phil. That I hope you have not, sir. 

Bran. But all was done in jest : he cries thee 
mercy ; 
Francisco, sirrah.' 

Phil. O, 1 think not on him ! 

Bran. That letier was but writ to try thy con- 
He confesa'd all to me. 

Phil. Joy on him, sir! 

So far am 1 from malice, look you, sir 

Welcome, sweet aignor; but I'll ne'er trust you, 

Bran. Faith, I'm beholding^ to thee, wife, for this. 

Fran. Methinks I enter now this house with joy, 
Sweet peace, and quietness of conscience ; 
I wear no guilty bluah upon my cheek 
For a sin stampt last midnight : I can talk now 
With thai kind man, and not abuse him inwardly 
With any scornful thought made of his shame: 
What a sweet being" is an honest mind ! 
It speaks peace to itself and all mankind, [jitide. 



Re-tnter Mabtino. 

BxAN. Marttno! 

Mas. Master? 

Bran. There's another robbery done, sirTab, 
By the same party. 

Mar. What ? your worship mocks, ^h 

Under correction. ^| 

Phil. I forgot to tell thee ; 
He robb'd a lovely gentlewoman. 

Mar. O pagan ! 
This fellow will be ston'd to death witli pipkins; 
Your women in the suburbs will so maul hini 
With broken cruiBCB and pitchers without eari, 
He'll never die alive, that's my opinion. 

Re-eTiler Maktia dressed as a wivman, and Violett*. 
Phil. Look you, your judgments, gentlemen;— 
yours especially. 
Signer Francisco, whose mere* object now 
Is woman at these years, that's the eye-ssim, 1 

Amongst young gallants: — husband, you've » 

glimpse too ; 
You ofTer half an eye, as old as you are. 

Bran. Byrlady,' better, wench ; an eye and * 
half, I trow ; 
I should he sorry else. 

Phil, What think you now, sirs, 
Is't not a goodly, manly gentlewoman? 

Bran. Beshrew my heart else, wife. — 
Pray, soft a little, signor; you're but my guesi. 

remember ; 
I'm master of tlie house, I'll have the first buss- 

' mere] i. e, whole. ' ByrlaJiy] See note, p. 9- 


Phil. Bat, husband, 'tis the courtesy of all places 
To give a stranger ever the first bit. 

Bran. In woodcock or so ; but there's no heed to 
be taken in mutton ; °* we commonly fall so roundly 
to that, we forget ourselves. — 
I'm sorry for thy fortune, but thou'rt welcome, lady. 

[^Kisses Martia. 

Mar. My master kisses as I've heard a hackney- 
Cheer up his mare, — chap, chap ! {_Aside. 

Bran. I have him fast, lady, 
And he shall lie by't close. 

Martia. You cannot do me 
A greater pleasure, sir. 

Bran. Vm happily glad on't. 

Fran, [after kissing Martia] Methinks there's 
somewhat whispers in my soul, 
This is the hour I must begin my acquaintance 
With honest love, and banish all loose thoughts ; 
My fate speaks to me from the modest eye 
Of yon sweet gentlewoman. [Aside. 

Phil. Wench, wench ! 

Vio. Pish, hold in your breath, mistress ; 
If you be seen to laugh, you spoil all presently : 
I keep it in with all the might I have — puh ! 

Martia. Pray, what young gentleman's that, ^ir ? 

Bran. An honest boy, i'faith, 
And come^ of a good kind ; dost like him, lady ? 
I would thou hadst him, and? thou be'st not pro- 

mis'd ; 
He's worth ten thousand dollars. 

Vio. By this light, mistress, 

" mutton] See note, p. 102. 

° hackney-man'] In Dodsley's Old Plays, and Weber's B, and 
F., " hackne y- coachman !" 

o come] Old ed. "came." ' and] i. e. if. 



My master will go near to make a match anon : 
Methinks I dream of admirable sport, mistress. 

Phil. Peace ; thou*rt a drab. 

Bran. Come hither now, Francisco : 
I've known the time Tve had a better stomach ; 
Now I can dine with looking upon meat. 

Fran. That face deserv'd a better fortune, lady, 
Than last night's rudeness shew'd. 

Martia. We cannot be 
Our choosers, sir, in our own destiny. 

Fran. I return better pleas'd than when I went. 

Mar. And could that beastly imp rob you, for- 

Martia. Most true, forsooth. 
I will not altogether, sir, disgrace you. 
Because you look half like a gentleman. 

Mar. And that's the mother's half. 

Martia. There's my hand for you. 

Mar. I swear you could not give me any thing 
I love better, a hand gets me my living : 
O sweet lemon-peel ! [^Kisset Martia's hand. 

Fran. May I request a modest word or two, 
Lady, in private with you ? 

Martia. With me, sir ? 

Fran. To make it sure from all suspect of in- 
Or unbeseeming privacy, which heaven knows 
Is not my aim now, I'll entreat this gentleman 
For an ear-witness unto all our conference. 

Martia. Why, so, I am content, sir. 

Bran. So am I, lady. 

[^Exeunt Martia and Francisco. 

Mar. O master, here is a rare bedfellow 
For my mistress to-night ! for you know we must 
Both out of town again. 

Bran. That's true, Martino. 


Mar. I do but think bow they'll lie telling of 
tales together, 
The prettiest ! 

Bran. The prettiest p indeed. 

Mar. Their tongues will never lin^ wagging, 

Bran. Never, 
Martino, never. 

[Exeunt Brandino and Martino severally. 
Phil. Take heed you be not heard. 
Vio. I fear you most, mistress. 
Phil. Me, fool ? ha, ha ! 
Vio. Why, look you, mistress, faith, you're faulty ; 

ha, ha ! 
Phil. Well said, i'faith ; where lies the fault now, 

gossip ? 
Vio. O for a husband ! I shall burst with laugh- 
ing else ; 
This house is able to spoil any maid. 

Phil. I'll be reveng'd now soundly of Francisco, 
For failing me when time was. 

Vio. Are you there, mistress ? I thought you 
would not forget that, however : a good turn dis- 
appointed is ever the last thing that a woman for- 
gives, she'll scarce do't when she's speechless ; nay, 
though she hold up her whole hand for all other 
injuries, she'll forgive that but with one finger. 
Phil. I'll vex his heart as much as he mock'd 

Vio. But that may mar your hopes too, if our 
Be known to be a man. 

Phil. Not as I'll work it ; 
I would not lose this sweet revenge, methinks, 

p prettiest'] Old ed. " pretiliest" •» lin] i. e. cease. 


For » mhelm tanea^t of (be oU nu 
WUcli ii tW sweetest benefit next ti 

Rt'taUr Mamtia. 

Vhy, bow DOW, sir f what cmme take roct for 

Wc Bc BBdooe for one. 

Mabtu. Faitb, with gnat pain 
SdBe it, and beep it in ; I ha' no receipt (br'L 
Bnt. fnj, m ndotta,'* s»y, wlut b the gentlenaitl 
I never knew hia like ior tedioiu nrgingt. 
He wiU receire no aiuwer. 

PmL. WonU be would not. sir ! 

Maktia. Sajs I'm ordaia'ii for htm, merely tot 

[ Aid tbat bk wiviog fate speak* in me to btm ; 
^ Will force on me a jointure speedily 
ae aeven dwwand dollars. 
Pan. Would ihoa badst 'en^ air ! 
_ I bnow be on tad' be wiU. 
Hjutu. For wonder's pitjr, 
Wbat is ibis gentleman F 

Pbil. Faitli, shall 1 tell yon, sir f 
Oae Aat would nake an exceUeot, booest huabtnd, 
For ber that's a just moid at one and twenty ; 
For, on my cofttcience, be has his maideoheikd yet. 
Haktu. Fie, out upon him, be&st ! 
Pan.. Sir, if yoa lore me, 
Give way bat to one thing I shall requeEt of you. 
Haktu. Yonr courtesies, yoa know, may lay 

Pbo. Then, at bis next solicitii:^, let a axueni 
Seem lo conw frmn yon ; 'twill make noUe spmr. 


Well get joiQture and alt ; but 70U must bear 
Yourself most affable to all his purposes. 

Habtia. I can do that. 

Phil. Ay, and take beed of laughing. 

Mariia. I've bide the worst of that (dready, lady. 

Phil. Peace, set your countenance then, for here 
he cornea. 

Re-enter Francisco. 
Fran. There is no middle continent in thia pas- 
sion ; 
I feel it, since it must be love or death, 
It was ordain'd for one. \_Aade. 

Phil. Signor Francisco, 
I'm sorry 'twas your fortune in my house, sir. 
To have so violent a stroke come to you ; 
The gentlewoman's a stranger ; pray, be counsell'd. 

Till you hear further of her friends and portion. 

Fran. 'Tis only but her love that I desire ; 
She comes most rich in that. 

Phil. But be advis'd though ; 
I think she's a rich heir, but see the proof, sir. 
Before you make her such a generous jointure. 

Fran. 'Tis mine, and I will do't. 

Phil. She shall be yours too. 
If I may rule her then. 

Fran. You speak all sweetness. 

Phil. She likes your person well ; I tell you so 
But take no note I said so. 

Fran. Not a word. 

Phil. Come, lady, come, the gendeman'sdesertful. 
And, o' my conscience, honest. 

Martia. Blame me not ; 
I am a maid, and fearful. 


Fean. Never truth 
Came perfecter from man. 

Phil. Give her a lip-taste, 
That she herself may praise it. 

[Francisco kisses Martia, a$id then exit miik 
her, Philippa, and Violetta. 

Re-enter Brandimo. 

Bran. Yea, a match, I'faith ! 
My hoase is lucky for 'em. — 

Re-enter Martino. 

Now, Martiuo ? 
Mar. Master, the widow has the day. 
Bran. The day ? 

Mar. Sh*as overthrown my youngster. 
Bran. Precious tidings ! 
Clap down four woodcocks more. 
Mar. They're all at hand, sir. 
Bran. What, hoth her adversaries too ? 
Mar. They're come, sir. 
Bran. Go, hid the cook serve in two geese in a 

Mar. I like your conceit, master, beyond utter- 
ance. lExit. 

Enter Valeria, Ricardo, and two Suitors. 

Bran. Welcome, sweet sister! which is the man 

must have you ? 
I'd welcome nobody else. 

First Suit. Come to me then, sir. 

Bran. Are you he, faith, my chain of gold?' I'm 

glad on't. 
Val. I wonder you can have the face to follow 


' chain of gold] See p. 402. 


That hsTe m proMcuted tliingi against me. 
But I ha' resolT'd* myself 'tis done to spite me. 

Ric. O dearth of truth I 

Sec. SniT. Nay, do not spoil thy hair ; 
Hold, hold, I say ; I'll get thee a widow somewhere. 

Ric. If hand and faith be nothing for a cDotract, 
What shaU man hope 7 

Sec. Sdit. 'Twas wont to be enough, honey, 
When there was honest meaning amongst widows ; 
But since your bribes came in, 'tia not allow'd 
A contract without gifts to bind it fast ; 
Every thing now must have a feeling* first. — 
Do I come near you, widow T 

Val. No, indeed, sir, 
Nor ever shall, I hope : — and for your comfort, sir, 
That sought all means t' entrap me for my wealth, 
Had law unfortunately put you upon me, 
You'd lost your labour, all your aim and hopes, sir; 
Here stands the honest gentleman, my brother. 
To whom I've made a deed of gifi of all. 

Bran. Ay, that she has, i'faith ; I thank her, gen- 
tlemen ; 
Look you here, sirs. {^Sheme vriting. 

Val. I must not look for pleasures, 
That give more grief if they prove false, or fail us. 
Than ever they gave joy. 

First Sdit. Ha' you serv['d] me so, widow ? 

Sec. Suit. I'm glad thou hasi her not. — Laugh 
at him, honey ; ha, ha ! 

Val. I must take one that loves me for myself: 
Here's an old gentleman looks not after wealth. 
But virtue, manners, and conditions." 

■ reiolr'd'] i. e. convinced, aatisRed. 

' /"/''•g'i Altered, in Dodaley's Old Playt, to " felling," 
which Weber evrrKUd into " selling." 

M mnr iknp woUb 4<Mn, I tike «^ oa 'en ; 
IH J mout k*«e MOWwhH witiHWt, lyng ov btaif 

TliOM we fine ifaingi mdced. 

Val. Wbj, air, yoa aware to vne it «rai for lore. 
FiMT Sen. Trae ; hm ibere'i two words to b 

All the world over ; end if lore be one, 

I'm Mirc nonej^s ibe other ; 'lii no bargun die : 

Purdoa me. I most dine as weU n &up, widow. 

Val. Cf 7 mercy, I mistook jo» all diia while, tit ; 
It was ihi* ancient gentletnaa ioiieed, 
Wlioin 1 crave pardon on. 

Stc. Stit. What of me, widow! 

Val. Alai, I've nrong'd you, sit I 'twas you thai 

Yoa lov'd me for mysetf. 

Sac. Suit. By my troth, but I did not ; 
Come, father not your liea upon me, widow : 
I love you for yourself 7 — Spit at me, gentlemen, 
If ever I'd inch a thought.- — Fetch me in, widow! 
You'll find your reach loo short. ^ 

Val. Why, you've enough, you say. 

Skc. Suit. Ay, but I'll have 
My humour too ; you never think of that ; 
I'hey're coach-hor>es, they go together stilt. 

Val. Whom should a widot 
'twas one of you 

' miMirJ Old e(L"nla"(anilsfiniil for M.). 


That made me believe so. — Mass, think 'twas you, 

Now I remember me. 

Rig. I swore too much. 
To be believ'd so little. 

Val. Was it you then ? 
Beshrew my heart for wronging of you ! — 

Ric. Welcome blessing I 
Are you mine faithfully no|pr ? 

Val. As love can make one. 

First Suit. Why, this fills the commonwealth so 
full of beggars. 
Marrying for love, which none of mine shall do* 

Val. But, now I think on't, we must part again, 

Ric. Again ? 

Val. You're in debt, and I, in doubt of all. 
Left myself nothing too ; we must not hold, 
Want on both sides makes all affection cold : 
I shall not keep you from that gentleman. 
You'll be his more than mine ; and when he list. 
He'll make you lie from me in some sour prison ; 
Then let him take you now for altogether, sir, 
For he that's mine shall be all mine, or nothing. 

Ric I never felt the evil of my debts 
'Till this afflicting minute. 

Sec Suit. I'll be mad 
Once in my days : I have enough to cure me. 
And I will have my humour ; they are now 
But desperate debts again, I ne'er look for 'em : 
And ever since I knew what malice was, 
I always held it sweeter to sow mischief 
Than to receive money ; 'tis the finer pleasure. 
I'll give him in his bond's, as 'twere in pity. 
To make the match, and bring 'em both to beggary : 
Then will they ne'er agree, that's a sure point ; 



He'll give her a black eye nithin iheae tliree days. 
Beat half her leelh out by All- hullow title, 
And break the little household stufT they have 
With throwing at one another : O sweet sport ! — 

Come, widow, come, I'll try your honesty : 
Here to my honey you've made many proffers, 
I fear they're all but tricks. — Here are his debts, 
gentlemen ; . [_Shenis bonda. 

How 1 carae by 'em I know best myself. — 
Take him before us faithfully for your husband. 
And he ahall tear 'em all before your face, widow. 

Val. Else may all faith refuse me ! 

Sec. Suit. Tear 'em, honey ; 
'Tis firm in law, a consideration given : 

[RicAHDO lean the fr 
What, with thy teeth ? thou'lt shortly tes 
That's all my hope, thou'dst never had "em else : 
I have enough, and I will have my humour. 

Ric. I'm now at liberty, widow. 

Val. I'll be so too, 
Aud then I come lo thee. — Give me this from ) 
brother. [^Takex ktv 

£ran. Hold, sister, sister ! 

Val. Look you, the deed of gift, sir; I'n 

He that has me has nil, and thou art he. 

Both Suit. How's that? 

Val, You're bobb'd ; 'twas hut a deed in irus 
And all to prove thee, whom I've found most ji 

Bran. I'm bobb'd among the rest loo ; I'd I: 

'T had been a thing for me and my heirs for evc 
If I'd but got it up to the black box above, 
][t] had been past redemption. 
First Suit. How am I cheated '. 

THE wiDOir. 437 

Sec. Sdit. I hope you'll have tlie conBcience now 

Ric. O wicked man, sower of strife and envy, 
Open not thy lips ! 

Sec. Suit. How, how's this t 
Ric. Thou hast no charge* at all, no child of 
thine own. 
But two thou gott'st once of a acouring-woman. 
And they're both well provided for, they're i' th' 

hospital : 
Thou hast ten thousand pound to bury thee ; 
Hang thyself when thou wilt, a slave go with thee ! 
Sec. Suit. I'm gone, my goodness comes all out 
together : 
I have enough, but I have not my humour. [£xj(. 

Re-enter Violetta. 
Vio. O master, gentlemen, and you, sweet wi- 

I think you are no forwarder, yet 1 know not, — 
If ever you be sure to laugh again, 
Now is the time ! 

Val. Why, what's the matter, wench ? 

Vio. Ha, ha, ha ! .Speak, speak. 

Vio. Ha! — a marriage, 
A marriage ; I cannot tell't for laughing — ha, ha ! 

Bran. A marriage 7 do you make that a laughing 

Vio. Ha ! — ay, and you'll make it so when you 
know all. 
Here they come,* here they come, one man married 
to another ! 

4S8 TBE wnw*. 

Val. Haw ! nun to man F 
Vio. Ay, man to roan, i*faiUi ; 
There'll be good sport u nigbt (o bring 'rai b 
10 bed : 

Re-enUr Martla, Pbiliffa, wu' Frakciso 
Do you tee *eni now * ha, ha, ha ! 

FtMT Suit. My daughter Martia ! 

Mabtia. O my father ! your love and psrdor 

Val. 'Tis she indeed, gentlemen. 

Mabtia. I have been disobedient, I confess. 
Unto your mind, and heaven has punixh'd me 
With much affliction since I fled your siglil ; 

I finding reconeileinenl from above 


of heart, the 

T Suit 

but forgive ihei 

Thou fledd'st a happy fortune of an old man, 
But Francisco's of a noble family, 
Though he be somewhat spent. 

Fban. I lov'd her nol, sir. 
As she was yours, for I protest I knew't not. 
But for herself, sir. and her own deservings, 
Which, had you been as fou! as you've been s' 
I should have lov'd in her. 

FiasT StiiT. Well, hold your prating, sir ; 
You are not like to lose by't. 

Phil. O Violetta, 
Who shall laugh at us now ? 

Vio. The child unborn, i ' 

Mabtia. Be good. 

Fbak. Be honest. 

" BMnewhal limilar incidcni in The A'nu 
'• IVarlii, Tol. V. p. 433, where he ti 
very incorrecily. 


Marti A. Heaven will not let you sin, and^ you'd 
be careful. 

Fran. What means it sends to help you, think, 
and mend, 
You're as much bound as we to praise thft friend. 

Phil. I am so, and I will so. 

Martia. Marry you speedily ; 
Children tame you, you'll die like a wild beast else. 

Vio. Ay, by my troth, should I. I've much ado 
To forbear laughing now, more's my hard fortune. 

Re-enter Martino. 

Mar. O master, mistress, and you gentles all, 
To horse, to horse presently, if you mean to do 
Your country any service ! 

Bran. Art not asham'd, Martino, to talk of 
So openly before young married couples thus ? 

Mar. It does concern the commonwealth, and me, 
And you, master, and all : the thieves are taken. 

Martia. What say'st, Martino ? 

Mar. La,* here's commonwealth's-men! 
The man of art, master, that cupp'd your eyes, 
Is prov'd an arrant rascal ; and his man, 
That drew my tooth, an excellent purse-drawer — 
I felt no pain in that, it went insensibly. 
Such notable villanies confessed ! 

Bran. Stop there, sir : 
We will have time for them. — Come, gentlefolks. 
Take a slight meal with us : but the best cheer 
Is perfect joy, and that we wish all here.' 

Ric. Stay, stay, sir ; Fm as hungry of my widow, 

7 and'] i. e. if. 

' here] After this word, the old ed. has "Exeunt" and gives 
the next speech of Ricardo, on another page, as " Epilogue" 
— which in fact it is. 

Bat we man c 
Tkere'* dnbcs to be paid cic we go fanhew. — 
He tlm whboat jomt Ukings lemret thk pl»ce. 
Is like orfl &lls to meat aad Ibrgett grMx ; 
And ibxf s iMt baitdaaine, tmt ne, bo : 
Oar r^fala bemg paid, and jonr lovei mderstoi 
Mj widow and my meat tlien do' me good. — 
1 ba' no money, wanA, I uM thee ime, — 
For my icpon, pray let her bear't (ran you. 

■ ^: 01dnL"di>-i.' 


A Fairt QuarrelL At it wot Acted hrfore the King and diuert 
timet publikely by the Prince hit Highnet Seruantt, Written . 

{By Thomat Midleton\ ^ ., 
and WiUiam RowUy.f ^^"' 

Printed at London for I, T. and are to bee told at Chritt Church 
Gate. 1617. 4to. 

During the same year copies were put forth with a fresh 
title-page, — A Faire QuarrelL With new Additiont rf Mr, 
Chaught and Trimtrani't Roaring, and the Baudt Song, Neuer 
before Printed, &c. ; these *' new additions" being contained 
in three leaves, which the binder is desired to place *' at the 
latter end of the fourth Act." Another edition appeared in 
1622, 4to. 

On the title-page of the 4tos is a woodcut representing the 
Colonel and the Captain in combat, which has been copied 
into Strutt's Drets and Habits, &c., Plate cxxxix. 

Langbaine says, ** The Plot of Fitz-allen, Russel, and 
Jane, is founded, as I suppose, on some Italian Novel, and 
may be read in English in the Complaisant Companion, octavo, 
p. 280. That part of the Physitian tempting Jane, and then 
accusing her, is founded on a Novel of Cynthio Giraldi : See 
Dec. 4. Nov. 5." Ace. of EngU Dram. Poets, p. 372. 





ROBERT GREY, Esquire, 


HU poor weU'WiUer wisheth hit best withes, hie et supra. 

Worthy Sir, 

'Tis but a play, and a play is but a butt, 
against which many shoot many arrows of envy ; 
'tis the weaker part, and how much more noble 
shall it be in you to defend it : yet if it be (as some 
philosophers have left behind *em), that this mega- 
cosm, this great world, is no more than a stage, 
where every one must act his part, you shall of 
necessity have many partakers, some long, some 
short, some indifferent, all some ; whilst indeed the 
players themselves have the least part of it, for I 
know few that have lands (which are a part of the 
world), and therefore no grounded men ; but how- 
soever they serve for mutes, happily they must 
wear good clothes for attendance, yet all have exits, 
and must all be stript in the tiring-house (viz. the 
grave), for none must carry any thing out of the 
^tock. You see, sir, I write as I speak, and I speak 
as I am, and that's excuse enough for me. I did 
not mean to write an epistle of praise to you ; it 
looks so like a thing I know you love not, flattery, 
which you exceedingly hate actively, and unpleas- 
ingly accept passively : indeed, I meant to tell you 
your own, that is, that this child of the Muses is 



yoars ; whoerer begit it, 'tis laid to your charge, 
and, for aught I know, jota must father and keep 
it too : if it please yon, I hope yon shall not he 
ashamed of it neither, for it hu heen seen, though 
I say it, in good companies, and many have said it 
is a handsome, pretty-spoken infimC Now be your 
own judge; au yoar leisure look on it, at yonr 
pleasure laugh at it ; and if you be sorry it is no 
better, you may be glad it is no bigger. 

Yours ever, 


" William RmcUy^ Whose name ttands together with Mid- 
dleton's on the title-pages of seTersl plays, is generally con- 
sidered as a dramatist of the third class. He appears also to 
have been an actor, — one of the company of players belonging 
to the Prince of Wales, — ^and to have excelled more in comedy 
than tragedy. An alteration of his best piece, A New Wcmdert 
a Woman never vext, was performed with success at Covent 
Garden theatre in 1824. 


RoitBLl., brtlluT to LaJg Ag<r andfatiieT to Jaiu. 


CirTAiH AaiB, m (o Lady Agtr. 

FrindiBftht CoioKtl. 

Fritnd4 of Captain Agtr. 

FtTZALLEN, prnately married In /aw. 

Chouoh, a Corniih genlUBian. 

TriHTRAV , Ail Itnanl. 



VthtT rf Iht Rearing School. 

Ca?Tain Also, apaitder. 

V ATOVV., a tobacco-uUtr. 

Lady AoER, molhtr to Iht caplain, and litter lo Sutti 

Jake, daugliler to Riuiell, and priBalely marritd to Fi 

Tht Colonel'i tiittr. 

Ahne. titter lo the PAyncjan. 

Dutch Nunt. 

Heo, <■ bawd. 

FRi«a, a harlot. 

Scene, London and iit oeigbbourhood. 

f . 

I ' 

1 :i 



A Court before Russell's House, 

Enter Russell. 

Rus. It must be all my care ; there's all my love, 
And that pulls on the other.^ Had I been left 
In a son behind me, while I had been here 
He should have shifted as I did before him, 
Liv'd on the freeborn portion of his wit ; 
But a daughter, and that an only one, — O, 
We cannot be too careful o* her, too tender ! 
*Tis such 

A brittle niceness, a mere cupboard of glasses, 
The least shake breaks or cracks 'em. ^11 my aim i s . 
To cast hgy upon riches ; that*$ th<> thing ^ ^^ 

W e rich m en call pe rfection ; for the world 
Can perfect nought without it: 'tis not neatness, 
Either in handsome wit or handsome outside, 
With which one gentleman, far in debt, has courted 

her ; 
Which boldness he shall rue. He thinks me blind 
And ignorant : I've let him play a long time, 
Seem'd to believe his worth, which I know nothing : 
He may perhaps laugh at my easy confidence, 
Which closely I requite upon his fondness, 
For this hour snaps him ; and before his mistress, 
His saint, forsooth, which he inscribes my girl, 

^ other'\ Old edg. *• t'other." 


RcH. I katm jvmi ej* «««U &e 6m trr'i : 
rkM** tfe M«fte CMBCr kS ior grief or joy. 
Last A««B. O, Wm ■•An'i dnr nit oav ptc- 

Fmn E«ib«J ke tkall sever put agiin * 

Rck So uMiiiow bell be rvTd, mad gnat yon 

Ladt AfiCB. Ill bring iD (Bjr desim to tbK re- 
turn. [£jaf milk treats. 
Ru*. AITectioBHC (iner! (be hu no dmgfaier 
li folloffi all ibe love must comn to him, 
And he ha* a worth deaervn it, nere it durer. 

£R/(r Frimdoflkt Colonel and Frimd of 

Col-'b Fr. I must not give way to't. 

Kcs. What's here to question ? [^jftide. 

CoL.'s Fb. Compare young captain Ager nrith th* 
Colonel ! 

Cap."« Fk. Young? why, do you 
Make youth xtand for an imputation ? 
Tliat which you now produce for his disgrace I 
liifcni hid nobttneBS, that, being young. 
Should have an anger more inclin'd to co 


And moderation than the Colonel ; 

A virtue as rare as chastity in youth ; 

And let the^cause be good — conscience in Him, 

Which ever crowns his acts, and is indeed 

Valour's prosperity — he dares then as much 

As ever made him famous that you plead for. 

CoL.'s Fr. Then I forbear too long. 

Cap.'s Fr. His worth for me ! [TheyfiglU. 

Rus. Here's noble youths! belike some wench 
has cross'd 'em. 
And now they know not what to do with their blood. 


Enter the Colonel and Captain Aoer. 

Col. How now ? 

Cap. Ager. Hold, hold ! what's the incitement ? 

Col. So serious at your game ! come, come, the 
quarrel ? 

CoL.'s Fr. Nothing, good faith, sir. 

Col. Nothing ? and you bleed ? 

CoL.'s Fr. Bleed ! where ? pish, a little scratch 
by chance, sir. 

CoL. What need this niceness,^ when you know 
so well 
That I must know these things, and truly know 'em ? 
Your daintiness makes me but more impatient ; 
This strange concealment frets me. 

CoL.'s Fr. Words did pass 
Which I was bound to answer, as my opinion 
And love instructed me ; 
And should I take in general fame into 'cm, 
I think I should commit no error in't. 

Col. What words, sir, and of whom ? 

CoL.'s Fr. This gentleman 
Parallell'd captain Ager's worth with yours. 

^ nicenett] L e. scrupulousness. 

Cou Whbnaet 

Col.'* Fk. Ii otmt > ilii^ I eoold aot linen to 
Will) any puioKe. 

Cat. Ask*. Wku ihaMM ul jroa, nr I 
There wa* liule wrong dooe to yoor Itiend t dttt. 

Col. Howt iiiOe wrong ut me ? 

Cap. Aokk. I nid *e, Gimd, 
And I MippOM thai jroall estmn it so. 

Cot. Cop^p aTOoig_! 

Caf. AaKitr''Wliy, (ir. 'tiruct friraid and fiiend 
Tliere u co even uid level a degree, 
it will admit of no superlative. 

Col. Not in terns of manhood T 

Itns. (coming fonrard] Nay, genileinen 

Col. Good sir, give me lea»e — in tenus of q 

What can you dispute more quwtioaabte ( 
You're a captain, sir ; I give you all your Am . 

Cap, Auek. And you are a colonel, a title ' 
Mliich may include within it many captains : 
Yet, jiir, but throvring by those titular shadows. 
Which add no substance to the men themselves. 
And take them uncoropounded, man and man. 
They may be io with fair equality. 

Col. You're a boy, sir ! 

Cap. AoEn. And you have a beard, sir 
Virginiiy and marriage are both worthy; 
Anil the positive purity there are some 
IlnvD mnUL' the nobler. 

Col. How now? 

]lv%. Nfiy, good sir 

Cat. Aokr. I shrink not; he that goes thefl 
most may 
Re ovcrtiikcii. 

Col. Dcnili, how am I weigh'dl 



Cap. Aoer. In an even balance, sir ; a beard 
put in 
Gives but a small advantage : man and man, 
And lift the scales. 

Col. Patience shall be my curse, 
If it ride me further ! [^^^ ^fom their swords. 

Rua . How now. gAllanfai ? 

Believe me then, I must giv e aim* no longer ; 
Can words beget swords, and bring 'em forth, ha ? 
Co me, they're abortive propag ations ; [\ ~ 

H ide em. for shame ! I had tnought soldiers 
Had been musical, would not strike out of time, 
But to the consort^ of drum, trumps, and fife: 
'Tis madman-like to dance without music. 
And most unpleasing shews to the beholders, 
A Lydian ditty to a Doric note. 
Fri ends embr ace with ste el hands ? fie, it meets too 

I must have those encounters here debarr'd. 

CoL. Shall I lose here what I have safe brought 

Through many dangers ? ) ^ 

Cap. Aoer. What's that, sir? ' W^ 

CoL. My fame, 
Life of the life, my reputation. 
Death ! I am squar'd and measur'd out ; 
My heights, depths, breadth, all my dimensions 

Sure I have yet beyond your astrolabe 
A spirit unbounded. 

Cap. Ager. Sir, you might weigh 

Rus. Tush ! 
All this is weighing fire, vain and fruitless : 

' give aim] See note, vol. ii. p. 335. 

•* consort] See note, vol. ii. p. 350 — equivalent here to 

Tift r'lnber :: run* izt:- arr^nsect, 

Tbe r-znl-er pli r.g'd ; beaerch tou. no more on't- 

I LftTe a little clAim, $ir. in toot blood. 

As Dear as the brother to Toar mocher. 

If that maj lerre lor power to more jovr quiet ; 

The leit I shall make op with eoortesj 

And an aiicle*s loTe. 

Cat. Agks- I have damtt, lir, but 

Rv*. Bat? in hare so nore ahoodng at dnw 

Col. Well to pricks when he please. 

Ri7s. Yoa rore afl stilL 
Sir, I hare no mociTe proof to digest' 
Your raised choler back into t em perate blood ; 
Bat if joall make mine age a ootmsellor, — 
As all ages hare hitherto allow'd it. 
Wisdom in men grows np as years increase, — 
You shall make me blessed in making peace. 
And do yoor jodgment right. 

CoL. In peace at home 
Grey hairs are senators, but to determine 
Soloiers and their actions 

Enter Fitzallen and Janb. 

Ru8. Tis peace here» sir : 
And 8ee» here comes a happy interim ; 
Here enters now a scene of loving arms ; 
This couple will not quarrel so. 

CoL.'s Fr. Be advis'd, sir ; 
This gentleman, Fitzallen, is your kinsman ; 
You may overthrow his long-labour'd fortunes 

* thooting at these butts . . . pricks . . . rove"] A raoccMioii 
of puns. The prick was the point or mark in the centre of 
the butts : to rove meant to shoot an arrow with an elevation, 
not point blank. * 

' disgest] Frequently used for digest by our old writers. 


With one angry minute ; 'tis a rich churl, 
And this his sole inheritrix ; hlast not 
His hopes with this tempest. 

CoL. It shall calm me : 
All the town's conjurers and their demons could not 
Have laid my spirit so. 

FiTZ. Worthy coz, 
I gratulate your fair return to peace ! 
Your swift fame was at home long hefore you. 

Col. It meets, I hope, your happy fortunes here, 
And I am glad in't. I must salute your joys, coz. 
With a soldier's encounter. [^Kisses Jane. 

FiTz. Worthy captain Ager ! 
I hope, my kinsman shortly. 

Rus. You must come short indeed. 
Or the length of my device will be ill-shrunk. — 

Why, now it shews finely ! I'll tell you, sir, — 
Sir ? — nay, son, I know i' th' end 'twill be so 

FiTz. I hope so, sir. 

Rus. Hope ? nay, 'tis past all hope, son : 
Here has been such a stormy encounter 'twixt^ 
My cousin^ captain and this brave Colonel, 
About I know not what — nothing indeed — 
Competitions, degrees, and comparatives 
Of soldiership ; but this smooth passage of love 
Has calm'd it all. — Come, I will have it sound ; 
Let me see your hearts combined in your hands. 
And then I will believe the league is good : 
It shall be the grape's, if we drink any blood. 

CoL. I have no anger, sir. 

Cap. Aoer. I have had none. 
My blood has not yet rose to a quarrel ; 
Nor have you had cause 

f Uwixt] Old ed«. " Betwixt." 
^ cousin] See note, voL i. p. 499. 

Col. No cause bf quarrel! 
DcBih ! if my fathcT should tell me so - 
Rvs. Again 1 

FiTZ. Good air, for my sake 

Col. Faith, I liavc done, cot ; 
You do too hastily believe niiiie anger : 
And yet, to say dimitviting'' valour 

In a soldier is no cause of quarrel 

Rus. Nay, then, I'll remove (he eatise, to k 
KinBHian, I'll press you lo't. if eilhcr lore 
Or consanguinily may move you lo't : 
I must disurni you ; tboogh ye arc a •oldiq 
Pray, grant me your weapon ; it shall he i 

ITaka CArTAih- Aoe^ 
At your regress from my house. Now I ' 
No words can move this noble soldier's s 
To a man undefenc'd so : wc shall parle,' 
And safely make all perfect friends a^ain. 
CoL. To shew my will, sir, accept ii 

^Giccii h'u nrord la Itotxiu. 
As good not wear it as not dare to use it. 

CoL.'s Fb. Nay. then. sir. we will be all exampl'd; 
We'll have no arms here now but lovers* arms. 

[Gires hit nvord to RcMEii- 
Cai'.'s Pa. No seconds must bej^in a quaml. 

lake mine, sir. [d're* hii SKord Itt RoM 
Rrs. Why, la, what a tine sunshine's hervtHri 
My breath has blown inio another cUn 
I'll be your armorer \^ they are not pawn'd.- 
These were the fish that 1 did angle for ; 
I have csughi 'em finely. Now for my tricfcflj 
My project's lusty, and will hit the nick. 

lEiit m<h m 
' dinniling] i. e. diminishinip. ' porfrl L e. ■ 

I armortr^ OlJ ed. "a " 


Col. What, is't a match, heauty ? I would now 
Alliance with my worthy captain Ager, 
To knit our loves the faster : here is witness 
Enough, if you confirm it now. 

Jane. Sir, my voice 
Was long since given, since that I gave my hand. 

CoL. Would you had seal'd too ! 

Jane. That wish comes too late, 
For I too soon fear my delivery. — [^Aside* 

My father's hand sticks yet, sir ; you may now 
Challenge a lawful interest in his : 
He took your hand from your enraged blood. 
And gave it freely to your opposite, 
"Aly cousin Ager : methinks you should claim from 

In the less quality of calmer blood, 
To join the hands of two divided friends. 
Even these two that would offer willingly 
Their own embrace. 

CoL.'s Fr.^ Troth, she instructs you well. 
Colonel, and you shall do a lover's part 
Worth one brave act of valour. 

Col. Why, I did 
Misdoubt no scruple ; is there doubt in it ? 

FiTz. Faith, sir, delays, which at the least are 
doubts ; 
But here's a constant resolution fix'd, 
Wbich we wish willingly he would accord to. 

CoL. Tush, he shall do't, I will not be denied ; 
He owes me so much in the recompense 
Of my reconcilement. — Captain Ager, 
You will take our parts against your uncle 
In this quarrel ? 

J CoVs Fr.'] Old eds. " Capt. friend." 
VOL. 111. R R 

repilw t: I km 

Cat. Aatx. 

T>a '<*»■«*' d 
Yonr wflrtky 
He dovbtt It on. 

Col. See, bc'« retotK'd. 

/U-<mter Kntxu »i(A J'frn—r 

Ru. Voor cne. 
Be Mire JTM lt«8p it : 'twiU be wpokea qaickly, 
Tberefon wwck it. [fxit Sm 

Col. Let'f set on him aD M «nee. ~ 

All. Sir. h« bate a «att to jtm. 

Kl'i. What,aU«toaoeI 

All. All, m1), i'&iib, air. 

VLvn. One ipealiet nuy y«t deliver : say, say : 
1 iliall nnl dare to kUnd out 'f^inat so maoy. 

Col. Faith, «ir, here's a brabblifig inattn-* btsff 
on demur : 
I moke the roolion for all withoui 
Fray you. Id it be t-nded this (em 

Rim. Ila, ha. bal — 
That ii ilie rascal's cue, and he baa tniu'd il 

What i»'t. what i»'l. sir ? 

Cni.. Why. Nir, here's a man 
And herf '• a woman — you're icbolar good 
I'lit 'cm together, and tell me nrhat it spells I 

KuN. Ha, ha, hal~ 
There'* hii cue ouce again : 

ite-cnirr Scrrant. 

O, he's come — humph I [v/*wif, 
Srr. My master tnughs ; that is his cue to mis- 
chief, [vfriob. 
Col. What Mijryou, »ir T 

* traiitlas matttr] 'ut.m 


Ser. Sir 

Rus. Ha ! what say you, sir ? 

Ser. Sir, there's a couple desire speedily to speak 
with you. 

Rus. A couple, sir, of what ? hounds or horses ? 

Ser. Men, sir; gentlemen or yeomen,! know not 
But the one, sure, they are. 

Rus. Hast thou no other description of them ? 

Sbb. They come with commission, they say, sir, 
to taste of your earth ; if they like it, they'll turn 
it into gunpowder. 

Rus. O, they are saltpetre-men — before me,^ 
And they bring commission, the king's power in- 
deed ! 
They must have entrance : but the knaves will be 

There's all the hope we have in officers ; 
They were too dangerous in a commonwealth. 
But that they will be very well corrupted ; 
Necessary varlets. 

Ser. Shall I enter in,"* sir ? 

Rus. By all fair means, sir. 
And with all speed, sir : give 'em very good words, 
To save my ground unravish'd, unbroke up : 

[Exit Servant. 
Mine's yet 

A virgin earth ; the worm hath not been seen 
To wriggle in her chaste bowels, and I'd be loath 
A gunpowder fellow should deflower her now. 
Col. Our suit is yet delay'd by this means, sir. 

* before me"] An exclamation : so towards the conclusion of 
this act, Russell says, 

" *Fore me, and thou look'st half- ill indeed I " 

" enter in] i. e. shew in — but qy. " enter 'em ? " So at 
p. 81, " I would not enter his man," &c. 




Rds. Alas, I cannot help it ! tbese fellows gone, 
As I hope 1 shall despatch 'em quickly, 
A few articles shall conclude your suit : 
■ Who ! master Fitzallen f the only man 
That my adoption aim* at. 

Col. There's good hope then. 

Enter fnro Sergeants m ditgmte. 
First Sero. Save you, sir. 
Rus, You are welcome, sir, for aught I knDW37Ct 
Sec. Sebg. We come to take a view ami tasle of 

your ground, sir. 
Rus. I'd rather feed you wilh belter meat, gen- 
tlemen ; 
But do your pleasures, pray. 

First Sebo. This is our pleasures:— We »rTfsi 

In ihe king's name. IT^'y """est Fitzalien. 

FiTz, Ha! at whose suit? 

Rus. How's that! 

Col. Our weapons, good sir, furnish us! 

Jane. Ay me ! 

Rus. Slay, stay, gentlemen, let's inquire the 
cause ; 
It may be but a trifle ; a small debt 
Shall need no rescue here. 

Sec. Sero. Sir, betwixt three creditors, master 
Leach, master Swallow, and master Bonesuck, the 
debts are a thousand pounds. 

Rus, A thousand pounds ! beslwow" me, a good" 
man's substance ! 

Col. Good sir, our weapons 1 we'll teach these 
varlets lo walk 

'■ be,hrou:-\ i. e, (as ed. 1622 has) "' beshrew." 

° ;oo<| i. e. aa Shylock expbini it, mfficint — in ■ pecuniarj 


In their own parti-colour'd coats, that they 
May be distinguished from honest men. 

First Sero. Sir, attempt no rescue ; he's our 
prisoner : 
You'll make the danger worse by violence. 
. Col. a plague upon your gunpowder-treason, 
Ye quick -damn'd varlets! is this your saltpetre- 
Your tasting earth? would you might ne'er feed 

Nor none of your catchpoll tribe ! — Our weapons, 

good sir ! 
We'll yet deliver him. 

Rus. Pardon me, sir ; 
I dare not suffer [any] rescue here, 
At least not by so great an accessary 
As to furnish you : had you had your weapons — 
But to see the ill fate on't ! — My fine trick, i'faith !- 
Let beggars beware to love rich men's daughters : 
I'll teach 'em the new morrice ; I learnt it myself 
Of another careful father. lAside, 

FiTz. May I not be bail'd ? 

Sec. Serg. Yes, but not with swords. 

CoL. Slaves, here are sufficient men ! 

First Serg. Ay, i' th' field. 
But not in the city. — Sir, if this gentleman 
Will be one, we'll easily admit the second. 

Rus. Who, I? sir, pray, pardon me: I am wrong'd, 
Very much wrong'd in this ; I must needs speak it. — 
Sir, you have not dealt like an honest lover 
With me nor my child : here you boast to me 
Of a great revenue, a large substance, 
Wherein you would endow and state my daughter : 
Had I miss'd this, my opinion yet 
Thought you a frugal man, to understand 
The sure wards against all necessities ; 




Bolilly to dcrcTid your wife snd family. 
To walk utiinuffl'd, dreadlcas of these fleati-hooks, 
Even in tlie daring'at streets through all the ciiy; 
But now 1 find you a loose prodigal, 
A large untbrift ; a whole thousand jraund I — 
Come from him, girl, his inside is not sound. 
^ FiTZ. Sir, I am wrong'd ; these are malicious plots 
Of some obscure enemies that I have ; 
These debts are none of mine. 

Rus. Ay, all say so : 
Perhapa you stand engag'd for other men ; 
If so you do, you must then call't your own : 
The like arrearage do I run into 
Should I boil you ; but I have vow'd against it, 
And 1 will keep my vows j that is religious. 

FiTz. All this is nothing so. sir. 

Ittis. Nothing so? 
By my faith, 'tis, sir ; my vows are firm. 

FiTz. I neither 

Owe these debts, 

nor [am 

] engag'd for others. 


. The easie 

r is you 

r liberty regain'd : 


appear pro 

ofs to m 



. Liberty, s 


I hope 

you will n. 

)t see hi 

ra go to prison. 


. I do not , 

nean to 

bear him company 

So for, 

but I will 

see him 

out of my dooTs : 

O, sir. 

let him go 

to prison ! 'tis a school 

To tame wild bloods, he'll be much better for't. 


, Better for 

lying it 

■ prison? 


, In prison : 

; believi 



an honest n 

lan lies 

in prison, else all 

The keepers are 

knaves ; 

they told me so them- 

Col. Sir, I do now suspect you have betray'd him 
And us, to cause us to be weaponless : 
If it be so, you're a blood-sucking churl. 


One that was born in a great frost, when charity 

Could not stir a finger ; and you shall die 

In heat of a burning fever i* th' dog-days, 

To begin your hell to you : I've said your grace for 

Now get you to supper as soon as you can ; 
Pluto, the master of the house, is set already. 

Cap. Ager. Sir, you do wrong mine uncle. 

Col. Pox on your uncle 
And all his kin ! if my kinsman mingle 
No blood with him. 

Cap. Aoer. You are a foul-mouth'd fellow ! 

CoL. Foul-mouth'd I will be — thou'rt the son of 
a whore ! 

Cap. Aoer. Ha ! whore ? plagues and furies ! FU 
thrust that back. 
Or pluck thy heart out after ! — son of a whore? 

Col. On thy life I'll prove it. 

Cap. Aoer. Death, I am naked ! — 
Uncle, ril give you my lefl hand for my sword 
To arm my right with — O this fire wiU flame me 
Into present ashes ! 

Col. Sir, give us weapons ; 
We ask our own ; you will not rob us of them ? 

Rus. No, sir, but still restrain your furies here : 
At my door I'll give you them, nor at this time 
My nephew's ; a time will better suit you : 
And I must tell you, sir, you have spoke swords, 
And, 'gainst the law of arms, poison'd the blades. 
And with them wounded the reputation 
Of an unblemish'd woman : would you were out of 
my doors ! 

Col. Pox on your doors, and let it run all your 
house o'er ! 
Give me my sword ! 

Cap. Ager. We shall meet, Colonel ? 


: tsmr ibcc n 

D» iirtTii M«. [£dl milk Cxrr. A«u. 

Ket. Iter rn bw bn B«w.— Amy with Oat 

w'SiU """ 

Let ikn pmMJi J9» ftw t»a Bnititn' tt»y ; 
At iUb priee^ 1 kaa«, mi on tnit «U day. 

our lUp sInn. 
JAas. Yoar ^Hf nkc bu; wteo ibn bold leS 

' O tn^ nnaDea 7 vhu ia to he done ! 

Fm. To br Mai ikoc n aB my pait to be, 
Whriltcr in (rmdaas or afumr. 

Jake. Bat «n i1m« to e*>fns ^ *s <hii pfeiei 

FiTi . By be«ten, »«« ti Jane, 'ib m11 a b«Uish ; 
Vour cru«]-<iniling &tbcT »U tbb while 
|[n« omdird oVr a hitut pill for mr, 
Ttiinking by my rcmorr lo pbuit aome oUicr«] 
And then Irt go bia bnga. 

Jani. Flui aome otbcr r 
Thou hatt too finnly sunpt me for tbine ow 
Vitvr to be raa'd out : I am doi current 
In any otltrr't band ; I fear too aoon 
1 K\tn\\ diarover it. 

FiTx. het como the worel ; 


Thr L«lin nam* of • fiiA tKac ftdhcrM K 

(nd retard ibeir «iv," WlialJn'i 
p. *IZ «t Giffonl.— TTie 

I mill kr«U (>f thipi. * 

■ivnl It MA*n uwil by our culy draioatitu. 


Bind but this knot with an unloosed line, 
I will be still thine own. 
Jane. And Til be thine. 

First Sero. My watch has gone two minutes, 

FiTZ. It shall not be renewed ; I go, sir — Fare- 
well I 
Jane. Farewell! we both are prisoned, though 
not together ; 
But here's the difference in our luckless chance, 
I fear mine own, wish thy deliverance. 

FiTz. Our hearts shall hourly visit : I'll send to 
thee ; 
Then 'tis no prison where the mind is free. 

[Exit with Sergeants, 

Re-enter Russell. 

Rus. So, let him go ! — Now, wench, I bring thee 
A fair sunshine after this angry storm. 
It was my policy to remove this beggar : - 
What ? shal l rich men wed their only daugh ters ^ k^ 

To two fair suits of cloth es, and perhaps yet 
The_B oor tailor is unpaidT no, no, my gin^ 
I have a lad of thousands coming in : 
Suppose he have m ore wealth than wit to guide it. 
W hy, there 's thy gains ; thou keejTst the keys of all, 
Dis^osest all ; and for generation, 
IVIan does most seldom stamp 'em from the brain ; 
Wise men beget ° fools, and fools are the fathers 
To many wise children ; hysteron proteron^ 
A great scholar may beget an idiot. 
And from the plough-tail may come a great scholar ; 
Nay, they are frequent propagations. 

«» beget] Old ed. " begeta.'* 

Tjoa Miaawm: tsw Tsader 

Ti aa iiE. 

Ajft ifior I 'Sunk TKLZ^ ic :ae Cnv j 
CMHii. *xxa^ 'in taeer i I laink o£ sir 
Ami :^ WYT » '«aL Q» s» c3Bb lyr 


A RfMm m Last Ag£e's Homst, 

Enter Captaix Ages. 

Ckf, AoKE. Tbe SOD of a wbore ? 
Th*iTt \% not ftach another miirdeniig-piece'' 
In all the stock of calmmij ; it kills 
At one report two reputadoDS, 
A mother's and a son's. If it were possible 

> footr.loOi] See note, toL L p. 396. 

^ 'ft/rr me] See note, p. i59. 

' murflfring-jAece] Waa tbe name of a very destructive piece 
of ordnance : nee Naret's Gloss, in v. Shakespeare uses the 
word, Hamlet, act iv. sc. 5. 


That souls could fight after the bodies fell, 
This were a quarrel for 'em ; he should be one, in- 
That never heard of heaven's joys or hell's tormentSy 
To fight this out : I am too full of conscience, 
Knowledge, and patience, to give justice to't ; 
So careful of my eternity, which consists 
Of i^right actions, that unless I knew 
It were a truth I stood for, any coward 
Might make my breast his foot-pace : and who lives 
That can assure the truth of his conception, 
More than a mother's carriage makes it hopeful ? 
And is't not miserable valour then, 
That man should hazard all upon things doubtful ? 
O, there's the cruelty of my foe's advantage ! 
Could but my soul resolve my cause were just, 
Earth's mountain nor sea's surge should hide him 

from me ! 
E'en to hell's threshold would I follow him^ 
And see the slanderer in before I left him ! 
But as it is, it fears' me ; and I never 
Appear'd too conscionably just till now. 
My good opinion of her life and virtues 
Bids me go on, and fain would I be rul'd by't ; 
But when my judgment tells me she's but woman, 
Whose frailty^ let in death to all mankind, 
My valour shrinks at that. Certain, she's good ; 
There only wants but my assurance in't, 
And all things then were perfect : how I thirst for't ! 
Here comes the only she that could resolve^ — 
But 'tis too vild^ a question to demand indeed. 

• fears^ i. e. frightens. 

» frailty] First ed. " fraileto ;" ed. 1622, " frailtie to." 

" resolve'] i. e. assure, satisfy, convince. 

"" vild] See note, vol. ii. p. 393. 

468 A TAim QUAmmEL. 

Enter Laot Aosr. 

Ladt Acer. Son, I*ve a suit to you. 
Cap. Agee. That may do well. — [Aside. 

To me, good madam ? you're most sure to speed 

Be*t i' my power to grant it. 
Ladt Agee. 'TIS my love 
— Makes the request, that you would never part 
Fnmi England more. 

Cap. Agee. With all my heart 'tis granted ! — 
I m sure I'm i' the way never to part from't. [Aside, 
Ladt Acer. Where left you your dear friend the 

Colonel ? 
Cap. Agee. O, the dear Colonel, — I should meet 

him 800D. 
Ladt Ager. O fail him not then ! he's a gentle- 
The fame and reputation of your time 
Is much engag'd to. 

Cap. Ager. Yes, and^ you knew all, mother. 
Ladt Ager. I thought I'd known so much of 
his fair goodness. 
More could not have heen look'd for. 

Cap. Ager. O, yes, yes, madam. 
And this his last exceeded all the rest. 

Ladt Ager. For gratitude's sake, let me know 

this, I prithee ! 
Cap. Ager. Then thus; and I desire your cen- 
sure* freely. 
Whether it appeared not a strange noble kindness 
in him. 
Ladt Ager. Trust me, I long to hear't. 
Cap. Ager. You know he's hasty, — 
That by the way. 

^ and] i. e. if. ^ censure'] L e. opinion. 


Lady Ager» So are the best conditions ; ^ 
Your father was the like. 

Cap. Acer. I b egin now 

o doubt me more ; why am not I so t oo th en ?_^ 
Blood follows blood through i'orty generati ons, 
And I've a slow^pac'd wrath^ — a shre wd dile mma ! 

Lady Aoer. Well, as you were saying, sir 

Cap. Aoer. Marry, thus, good madam : 
There was in company a foul-mouth'd villain — 
Stay, stay. 

Who should I liken him to that you have seen ? 
He comes so near one that I would not match him 

Faith, just a' th* Colonel's pitch, he*s ne'er the 

worse man ; 
Usurers have been compar'd to magistrates, 
Extortioners to lawyers, and the like ; 
But they all prove ne'er the worse men for that# 

Lady Ager. That's bad enough ; they need not. 

Cap. Acer. This rude fellow, 
A shame to all humanity or manners, 
Breathes from the rottenness of his gall and malice 
The foulest stain that ever man's fame blemish'd ; 
Part of which fell upon your honour, madam, 
Which heighten'd my affliction. 

Lady Ager. Mine? my honour, sir? 

Cap. Ager. The Colonel, soon enrag'd, as he's 
all touchwood. 
Takes fire before me, makes the quarrel his, 
Appoints the field ; my wrath could not be heard. 
His was so high-pitch'd, so gloriously mounted. 
Now, what's the friendly fear that fights within me, 
Should his brave noble fury undertake 

y conditions'] i. e. dispositions. 



A cause that were unjust in our defence. 
And BO to lose him everlastingly 
In thai dark depth where all bad ijuarrcla a 
■ Never to rise again, what piiy 'twere 

First to die here, and never to die iliere ! 

Laot AcEH. ^^'lly. what'* the quarret — speak- 
sir — til at shuuli) raise 
Such fearful doubt, my honuur bearing part oa\t 
The words. «hnte'er they were. 

Cap, Aoer. Son of a whore ! 

Lady Aoer. Thou liest 1 l_Strikt 

And tvere my love ten thousand tines more u 
Which is as much now as e'er mother's was, 
So thou sliould'st feel my anger. Dost ihoa ^ 
That quarrel doubtful ! where are all my mei 
^ Not one stand up to tell this maa his < 

Y ho nour ! 
Now blessings crown you fi 
It is the joyfuU'at blow that e'er flesh fe|l. 
Ladx Aoer. Nay, stay, stay, sir; thou I 
left bo Boon ; 
This is no question to be slighted ofF, 
And at your pleasure clos'd up fair again, 
As though you'd never touch'd it: no, 

Is honour deeply wounded ; and it rages 
More than a common smart, being of ttiy making; 
For thee to fear my truth, it kills my comfort ; 
Where should fame seek for her reword, when he 
Tliat is her own by the great lie of blood. 
Is farthest off in bounty ! O poor goodness ! 
That only pay'st thyself with thy ovfn works, 
For nothing else looks towards thee. Tell roCi B 
Which of my loving cares dost tliou requite 


With this vild' thought, which of my prayers or 

wishes ? 
Many thou ow'st me for : this seven year hast thou 

known me 
A widow, only married to my vow ; 
That's no small witness of my faith and love 
To him that in life was thy honour'd father ; 
And live I now to know that good mistrusted ? 

Cap. Aoer. No ; 't shall appear that my helief is 
For never was a mother's reputation 
Nohlier defended : 'tis my joy and pride 
I have a firm [faith] to bestow upon it. 

Lady Ager. What's that you said, sir ? 

Cap. Aoer. 'Twere too bold and soon ydl 
To crave forgiveness of you ; I'll earn it first : 
Dead or alive I know I shall enjoy it. 

Lady Ager. What's all this, sir ? 

Cap. Ager. My joy's beyond expression ! 
I do but think how wretched I had been 
Were this another's quarrel, and not mine. 

Lady Ager. Why, is it yours ? 

Cap. Ager. Mine ? think me not so miserable, 
Not to be mine ; then were I worse than abject, 
More to be loath'd than vileness or sin's dunghill : 
Nor did I fear your goodness, faithful madam, 
But came with greedy joy to be confirm'd in't. 
To give the nobler onset. Then shines valour. 
And admiration from her fix'd sphere draws. 
When it comes burnish'd with a righteous cause ; 
Without which I'm ten fathoms under coward, 
That now am ten degrees above a man. 
Which is but one of virtue's easiest wonders. 

' vild] See note, vol. ii. p. 393. 

C«r. Hmma. U mm- dtag a 


Lam AflCfc tmtf9 asvcr bar a* note, f 

Ctf. Ane. Ib»! 

L*yT Aw. CMKkaek,lMr! 
Ton May *«a dvift Am'a caaae I oB lo oi 

Cut. Acn. Hs, cat> '. «fa« onae t 

L«H AicKK. So MO^ voB ravBt not go. 

Ctr.Aoi*. H«>* 

LkPT Aatn. Vod naM im go. 

C^r. Aotu. MuKiMtr wbyT 

LtuT AoEK. f know t rea»on Tor'!. 
Which I could "mIi you'd field to, sud not i 


If not, it must come forth : faith, do not know, 
And yet obey my will. 

Cap. Aoer. Why, I desire 
To know no other than the cause I have. 
Nor should you wish it, if you take your injury. 
For one more great I know the world includes 
Lady Acer. Yes, one that makes this nothing : 
yet be rul'd, 
And if you understand not, seek no further. 

Cap. Ager. I must ; for this is nothing. 

Lady Ager. Then take all ; 
And if amongst it you receive that secret 
That will offend you, though you condemn me. 
Yet blame yourself a little ; for, perhaps, » 
1 would have made my reputation sound 
Upon another's hazard with less pity ; 
But upon yours I dare not. 

Cap. Ager. How ? 

Lady Ager. I dare not : 
'Twas your own seeking this. 

Cap. Ager. If you mean evilly, 
I cannot understand you ; nor for all the riches 
This life has, would I. 

Lady Ager. Would you never might ! 

Cap. Ager. Why, your goodness, that I joy to 
fight for. 

Lady Ager. In that you neither right your joy 
nor me. 

Cap. Ager. What an ill orator has virtue got 
here ! 
Why, shall I dare to think it a thing possible 
That you were ever false ? 

Lady Ager. O, fearfully ! 
As much as you come to. 

Cap. Ager. O silence, cover me ! 



Pre Mt A dndlier wound ihui msa can give me. 

LixtT Aatt.. I was betiay'd to a ruost sinful hour 
By a corrupted soul I put tn trust oace, 
A kuuwoniaa. 

Cap. A'iek. Where U she ? let roe pay ber ! 
L.u>y Ager. O. dead long since! 
Cap, Aoer. Nav, then, sh'ag all her wage s. 
False! do not say i, tor honour's goodness, do not! 
You never could be so. He 1 call'd father 
HV*^ fL-/' Oeaen-'d you at your best, when youth aod merit 
x'^ • (V Could boast at highest in you ; y'hsd no grac« 

^^,< Or virtue that he match'd not, no delight 

^ f That you invented but he sent it crown'd 

r To your fuU-wishing aoul. 

I Y Lady Aokb. That heaps my guiltiness. 

V .^ r* Cap. Aoer. O, were yoa so unhappy lo be false 



Both to yourself and mc ? but to tne chiefly. 
What a day's hope is here tost! and with it 
The joys of a just cause! Had you but thought 
On such a noble quarrel, you'd ha' died 
Ere you'd ha' yielded ; for the sin's hate first, 
Next for the shame of this hour's cowardice. 
Curst be the heat that lost me such a cause, 
A work that I was made for ! Quench, my 

And oui with hor 
Be dark and dead t 
1 never shall have i 
Put off your vow 


9aming lights m 
all respects o' 
e use of valour m 
ow for shame ! why should! 

a barren widowhood, 

rious to the faith of wedlock ti 

I should be dead, for all niy life's work's ei 
I dare not fight a stroke now, nor engage 
The noble resolution of my friends : 


Enter two Friends o/* Captain Aoer. 

That were more vild* — they're here: kill me, my 

shame ! 
I am not for the fellowship of honour. \_Aside. 

First Fr. Captain ! fie, come, sir ! we've been 
seeking for you 
Very late to-day ; this was not wont to be : 
Your enemy's i' th' field. 

Cap. Aoer. Truth enters cheerfully. 

Sec. Fr. Good faith, sir, you've a royal quarrel 

Cap. Aoer. Yes, in some other country, Spain 
or Italy, 
It would be held so. 

First Fr. How ? and is't not here so ? 

Cap. Acer. *Tis not so contumeliously received 
In these parts, and^ you mark it. 

First Fr. Not in these ? 
Why, prithee, whart is more, or can be ? 

Cap. Aoer. Yes ; 
That ordinary commotioner, the lie, 
Is father of most quarrels in this climate, 
And held here capital, and^ you go to that. 

Sec. Fr. But, sir, I hope you will not go to that, 
Or change your own for it : son of a whore ! 
Why, there's the lie down to posterity. 
The lie to birth, the lie to honesty. 
Why would you cozen yourself so, and beguile 
So brave a cause, manhood's best masterpiece ? 
Do you e'er hope for one so brave again ? 

Cap. Acer. Consider then the man, [the] Colonel, 
Exactly worthy, absolutely noble, 
However spleen and rage abuses him ; 

• vildf] See note, vol. ii. p. 393. 
** and] i. e. if. 

476 A FAim aCAEKBL. 

And *tit not well nor mmlj to pamie 
A inan*8 infirmitj. 

FiEST Fe. O miracle ! 
So hopeful, valimntf and eomplete a captain 
Potscst'd with a tame devil! Come oat! tfaon 

The most improv*d 3^ung soldier of seven king- 
doms ; 
Made captain at nineteen ; which was deserv'd 
The year before, but honour comes bdiind still : 
Come out, I say ! This was not wont to be ; 
That spirit ne'er stood in need of provocation. 
Nor shall it now : away, sir ! 
Cap. Aoer. Urge roe not. 
First Fr. By manhood's reverend honour, but 

we must ! 
Cap. Age R. I wil] not fight a stroke. 
FiRhT Fr. O blasphemy 
To sacred valour ! 

Cap. Ager. Lead me where you list. 
First Fr. Pardon this traitorous slumber, clogg*d 
with evils : 
Give captains rather wives than such tame devils ! 



A Room in Russell's House. 

Enter Physician and Jane. 

PiiY. Nay, mistress,^ you must not be cover'd to 
me ; 
The patient must ope to the physician 

* miitreu] Old eds. " Master" — the original MS. having 
had merely " M." 



All her dearest sorrows : art is blinded else, 
And cannot shew her mystical effects. 

Jane. Can art be so dim-sighted, learned sir ? 
I did not think her so incapacious. 
You train me, as I guess, like a conjurer, 
One of our fine^ oraculous wizards, 
Who, from the help of his examinant. 
By the near guess of his suspicion, 
Points* out the thief by the marks he tells him. 
Have you no skill in physiognomy ? 
What colour, says your coat, is my disease I 
I am unmarried, and it cannot be yellow / 
If it be maiden-green, you cannot miss it. 

Phy. I cannot see that vacuum in your blood : 
But, gentlewoman, if you love yourself. 
Love my advice ; be free and plain with me : 
Where lies your grief? 

Jane. Where lies my grief indeed ? 
I cannot tell the truth, where my grief lies, 
But my joy is imprisoned. 

Phy. This is mystical ! 

Jane. Lord, what plain questions you make pro- 
blems of! 
Your art is such a regular highway, 
That put you out of it, and you are lost : 
My he art's imprison^ din my body^sir ; A / 

18^11 myjoy ; aiiSjny sorrpwjgo 

Lie s very n ear it. 

'hy. Theyafe^ad adjuncts ; 
Your joy and grief, lying so near together. 
Can propagate no happy issue : remove 
The one, and let it be the worst — your grief — 
If you'll propose the best unto your joy. 

*» fine'i Old eds. " fiue." 

•= Potit/«] Old eds. " Appoints." 

' yellow] i. e. jealousy: see note, p. 134. 

P;,; 7;" '»«■ 


I must accuse two fathers of my fate 
J And jkult, a reciprocal generation : 
' ^The fa ther 6f* my fault would^ave repair 'cH 
'gig^feuhj issue, butjnj: fate's father hinders it : 
fate and fi^ ult, wherever J b egin^^ 

I mui 

must blam e both, and yet 'twas love did sin. 

Re-enter Physician with Anne. 

Phy. JiOok y ou, mistress, here's your closet : 

yhat ynii p!f anft^ ymi fiver kf pp *^'' ln^j^h 

Jane. Let me speak private, sir. 

Pht. With all my heart ; 
I will be more than mine ears' length from vou. 

" ^ iRetires. 

Jane. You hold some endear' d place with this 
gentleman ? 

Anne. He is my brother, forsooth, I his creature; 
He does command me any lawful ofBce, 
Either in act or counsel. 

Jane. I must not doubt you ; 
Your brother has protested secrecy. 
And strengthen'd me in you : I must lay ope 
A guilty sorrow to you ; I'm with child. 
'Tis no black swan I shew you ; these spots stick 
Upon the face of many go for maids : 
I that had face enough to do the deed, 
Cannot want tongue to speak it ; but 'tis to you, 
"Whom I accept my helper. 

Anne. Mistress, 'tis lock*d 
Within a castle that's invincible : 
It is too late to wish it were undone. 

Jane. I've scarce a wish within myself so strong, 
For, understand me, 'tis not all so ill 
As you may yet conceit it : this deed was done 

Vbm hesMD kaa wnseM to die jagallkMi: 
OnK dw bonsn cBcnnnv wana, 
VhHtli b* n advma bttcr m stiridg'd. 

My iMtha ;<4 «bcMiti initia fi«a 1117 MMtow, 
And. iriik B catT iudolipan, Mving W rbanc'd 
Fran oliai I wu, wtid* fbr yntir good broutt 
To bui my ^rC, and wactue ranedj : 
V(tu know it, pre it k« ; hot tfa fiionli 
Be »dd(J ta tbb coDiiaBl, 1 wil) saj 
Yr'tr voTw than yav can eaU aw at ibc wont. 
At ibh adramafr of iwy ippi t a ti o n . 
Ahikl 1 viD rvriTc a rt^M^tiaa 
That wmtm k«)r Wt»' Imt ; I •rill keep co wwtl : 
III only B0W eU^ nj leetb to you, 

^ And iliry akall bite iW blabber, if ii oler 

] To brea&e on aa amending sylUUe. 

Javk. 1 mm yon ; go, whwper.' Htncometwjf 

Emier RtiSSEtL, CuoV«R, taut TuUTKAU. 

Rm. Sir, you bit iTckocnr, toore, and noosl wel- 
Alt the degrees ofwrloome; thrice nelcotiir, sir! 

Ciiodoii. !■ tliis your daoi^htf r, sir I 

Kvt. Miue only joy, flir. 

Ciiucou. I'll shew hct the Cornish hug," air 
[nn/mort* An-]. — 1 havebUBed you now. sweeifaeaTt, 
and I nrvcr do any kiadnesH lu my friends but I 
use lo hit 'etn in the teeth with il presently. 


Trim. My name is Trimtram, forsooth ; look, 
what my masteMoes, I use to do the like. 

[Attempts to kiss Anne. 
Anne. You are deceived, sir; I am not this 
gentlewoman's servant, to make your courtesy 

Chough. You do not know me, mistress ? 
Jane. No indeed. — I douht I shall learn too 
soon. [Aside. 

Chough. My name is Chough, a Cornish gentle- 
man ;° my man's mine own countryman too, I'faith : 
I warrant you took us for some of the small 

Jane. I did indeed, between the Scotch and 

Chough. Red-shanks?^ I thought so, by my 
truth : no, truly, 
We are right Cornish diamonds. 

" Chough^ a Cornish gentleman] Old eds. " Chawgh/' &c. — 
Chough or chuff is a sea-bird, generally thought a stupid one, 
common in Cornwall : and a Cornish chough appears to have 
been a name for a silly fellow from the country ; 

" For here I might obserue a Country gully 
Whose fathers death had made his pockets full, 
Mount Ludgate-hill to buy a Spanish felt, 
Pull out his money, bid the Knaue go tel't. 
Notes from Black-fryers I presently might gather, 
For now this Cornish Chough mourns for his father 
In a Carnation feather," &c. 

Brathwait's Honest Ghost, 1658, p. 167. 

^ Red-shanks'] An appellation of contempt given to the 
Scottish Highlanders and to the native Irish. '' Both summer 
and winter (except when the frost is most vehement), going 
always bare-legged and bare- footed, our delight and pleasure 
is not only in hunting of red-deer, wolves, foxes, and graies 
[i. e. badgers], whereof we abound and have great plenty, but 
also in running, leaping, swimming, shooting, and throwing of 

Out (juarreU" »n<l brenk glasses micre we go. 

PiiY, If il be hidden from her father, yet 
His ignomnci' undcrstatida Kell his knowledge! 
For this 1 guess to be some rich coxcomb 
He'd put upon his daughter. 

Anne. That's plainly bo. 

PtiY. Then only she's beholding^ to our 
For the close delivery of her burden, 
Else all's overthrown. 

Anne. And, pray, be faithful iu thai, sir. 

Piiv. Tush, we physicians are the truest 
Alchemists, that from the ore and dross of sin^ 
Can new distil a maidenhead again. 

Rus. How do you like her, sir? 

Ciiornii. Troth, I do like her, sir, in the my of 

eornparison, to any thing thai a man would desire ; 

"Tani as liigt as the Mount' in love witK her already, 

and that's as far as I can go by land ; but I hope 

to go further by water with her one day. 

Rrs. I tell you, sir, she has lost some colour 
By wrestling with s peevish sickness now of late. 

Ciiot'oM. WrcBtle! nay, and* she love wreilling, 
I'll leach her a trick to overthrow any peevish sick- 
ness in London, whate'er it be. 

Rus. Weil, she had a rich beauty, though 1 say'l ; 
Nor is it lost; a little thing repairs it. 

daru. Tbcrcforp in so mucli ■■ we use, tni] delight lo w go 
■Iwayi, (he tender dclicaM gcnilt-mrn of Scaiinnd call m 
Rtttihanki." MS. quoted by Pink cr ton— £fi((. tif Stot. vol. 11 
p. 3!)U. 

' ifnamlt] A play on llie word — niuarcs of glan in vin- 

'• brheUi 

ng] S«( note, p. 

..(]_ i. e. St. Mi. 


ichiel'i Mount ia Corniiyll, 


Chough. She shall command the best thing that 
I have 
In Middlesex, i'faith* 

Rus, Well, sir, talk with her ; 
Give her a relish of your good liking to her ; 
You shall have time and free 
Access to finish what you now begin. 

Jane. What means my father ? my love's unjust 
My shame, were it published, both together 
Could not afflict me like this odious fool : 
Now I see why he hated my Fitzallen. [Aside. 

Chough. Sweet lady, your father says you are a 
wrestler : if you love that sport, I love you the 
better : i'faith, I love it as well as I love my meat 
after supper ; 'tis indeed meat, drink, and cloth to 

Jane. Methinks it should tear your clothes, sir. 

CkouGH. Not a rag, iTaith. — Trimtram, hold my 
cloak. [Gives his cloak to Trimtram.] — I'll wrestle 
a fall with you now ; I'll shew you a trick that you 
never saw in your life. 

Jane. O, good sir, forbear ! I am no wrestler. 

Pht. Good sir, take heed, you'll hurt the gentle- 

Chough. I will not catch beneath the waist, be- \ 
lieve it ; ' 

I know fair play. 

Jane. 'Tis no woman's exercise in London, sir. 

Chough. I'll ne'er believe that : the hug and the 
lock between man and woman, with a fair fall, is 
as sweet an exercise for the body as you'll desire 
in a summer's evening. 

Phy, Sir, the gentlewoman is not well. 

Chough. It may be you are a physician, sir ? 

Phy. 'Tis so, sir. 

V TsBi. C aw t. «r. take }«m cloak agaoi t I Me 
^.ari ftsc ail br K'<r • vMch. [ArtHwcfa^ 

^^«:<^ Ik^ndMrWMMcfc'dfeaainMKketancMib. 

Ami ikw HU «T deuli. l^tiJt. 

C— w. m wmtle widi my onn for ■ gon4 

TuM. Af. aarry, ur. Ill take yanr pan dKrc, 
CMck tint catdi vttf. 

Par. Sir, aW ■ williiig to't : there at my know 
S« akall bepdvaM, aad bcst u> nn aitcniiaoc* : 
1 kmum wall* am inistruai ny UibrDl care ; 
I dull refom ber looa anil perfrctly. 

Rc». Take yaat charge, «if.— Go with this gat- 
tlemaii. Jaoe ; 
But, p^iI^er. ( well ihis irflv ere lliou go' it; 

I all nJej 

" Jam. ril t!,ink on'f. sir- 

Rvi. My daughter is retiring, sir. 

Caoer.H. I njll part at DaTimouth with beo^j 
[A'uiei her.] — O that thou didst but love wreatUl _ 
I vrmdd give any man ibree foiU on that cohiIHImI 

Tun. There's thr ge_joria__of inenthat would 
thanic jgu _f(ir_Jfni7 "thej _ cu^th, _ feo Ccib, or 

^RuiTSir, aa I began I end, — wondrous welcome ! 
^Exeunt all except Cuavau and Triutium. 

' jnnV/] So ed. 1632. Firat ed. ■' you." 



Trim. What, will you go to school to-day ? you 
are entered, you know, and your quarterage runs on. 

Chough. What, to the roaring school ?° pox 
on*t, 'tis such a damnable noise, I shall never at- 
tain it neither. I do wonder they have never a 
wrestling school ; that were worth twenty of your 
fencing or dancing schools. 

Trim. Well, you must learn to roar here in 
London ; you'll never proceed in the reputation of 
gallantry else. 

Chouoh. How long has roaring been an exercise, 
thinkest thou, Trimtram ? 

Trim. Ever since guns came up ; the first w as 
your roa ring Mef " " " 

"Though. Meg ? then 'twas a woman was the first 
roarer ? 

Trim. Ay, a fire of her touch-hole, that cost 
many a proper man's life since that time ; and then 
the lions, they learnt it from the guns, living so 
near 'em ;'' then it was heard to the Bankside, and 
the bears* they began to roar ; then the boys got 
it, and so ever since there have been a company 
of roaring boys. 

Chough. And how long will it last, thinkest thou? 
^ Trim. As long as the water runs under London 
Bridge, or watermen [ply] at Westminster stairs. 

" the roaring schooQ See act iv. sc. 1. — Roarers, or roaring* 
boys (repeatedly mentioned by our early dramatists), were the 
bullying bucks who, in Middleton's time and long after, in- 
fested the streets of London. It is, perhaps, unnecessary to 
remark, that the picture of them in the present play is a comic 
exaggeration; and that "roaring" was never reduced to a 
science, or taught in a school. 

^ roaring Meg"] See note, vol. i. p. 263. 

^ near 'em] i. e. in the Tower. 

* the bears] In Paris Garden, Southwark : see note, vol. i. 
p. 407. 


CMovfit). Well, 1 will brgin lo rc 
Ut (uhion. O Curincus, this Raa nut in ihy t 
1 ihaalil liat<? heard on'i by ihe traditi 
ancestors — for I'm ture ih cre were ChoMgtw in tliT 
ilg^B — if it had been so: when He-tcuIci and ihou' 
wen on ihe Olympic Mount together, then i 
wrestling in request. 

Trim. Ay, and that Mount is now the Moiu 
Cornwall : Corineus brought it tliiiher under d 
hia arms, they say. 

CiioDGii. O Corineus, ray predcccisor, that 1 had 
but lived in those days to see thee wrestle ! on that 
condition I had died seven year ago. 

Trim. Nay, it should hate been a dozen at least, 
i'faiih, on that condition, [£xnn>/. 


A Held. 
Enter Caftain Ao; 


I FriauU. 

Cap. Aoer. Well, your will* now ? 

First Fu. of Cap. Our wilU ? our love 

To honour'd fortitude : what wills have we 
But our desires to nobleness and merit. 
Valour's advancement, and the sacred rectilut 
Due to a valorous cause 7 

Cap. Aoer. O that's not mine ! 

' IltffHlti and 1*011, Sit.'] I rwotlect no mention rlgewhcre 
orih*K Honbies b*ving bpen " an the Olympic MouDl lo- 
geiheri" but for an accouat of iht smiling betwiwnCariDciW 
■nd the gUnt Gormigol. or Gagmtfag, icc A- I'bomjwon'* 
traniUtioo aC Jeflry of Moiimouth't Briliik llhtary, p. If, 
and DrsytoD'i Polj/- olbi'm. Firit Stng. p. IS, ei. 11122. 


Sec. Fr. of Cap. War has his court of justice, 
that's the field, 
Where all cases of manhood are determin'd, 
And your case is no mean one. 

Cap. Aobr. True ; then 'twere virtuous ; 
But mine is in extremes, foul and unjust. 
Well, now you've got me hither, you're as far 
To seek in your desire as at first minute ; 
For hy the strength and honour of a vow, 
I will not lifl a finger in this quarrel. 

First Fr. of Cap. How ? not in this ? he not so 
rash a sinner : 
Why, sir, do you ever hope to fight again then ? 
Take heed on't ; you must never look for that : 
Why, th' universal stock of the world's injury 
Will be too poor to find a quarrel for you. 
Give up your right and title to desert, sir : 
If you fail virtue here, she needs you not 
All your time after ; let her take this wrong. 
And never presume then to serve her more : 
Bid farewell to th' integrity of arms, 
And let that honourable name of soldier 
Fall from you like a shiver'd wreath of laurel 
By thunder struck from a desertless forehead, 
That wears another's right by usurpation. 
Good captain, do not wilfully cast away 
At one hour all the fame your life has won : 
This is your native seat ; here you should seek 
Most to preserve it ; or if you will dote 
So much on life, — poor life, which in respect 
Of life in honour is but death and darkness, — 
That you will prov^ neglectful of yourself. 
Which is to me too fearful to imagine. 
Yet for that virtuous lady's cause, your mother. 
Her reputation, dear to nobleness 
As grace to penitence, whose fair memory 


E'en crowns fame in jour issue, for ihal btessediKW I 
Give not this ill place, but in spile of hell. 
And atl her base fears, be exactly valiant. 

Cap. Ager. O, O ! 

Sec. Fr. of Cap. Why, weU said, there's fair hope J 
in that ; 
Another such a one ! 

Cap. Aoer. Came ihey in thousands, 
Tis all gainst you. 

First Fr. of Cap. Then, poor friendless meril, 
Heaven be good to tlicc! ihy professor leaves tbee. 

Enter Colonel and too Fricndt. 

He's come ;* do but you draw, we'll fight it for ym 
Cap. Aoer. 1 know too much to grant ihab 
FiiisT Fk. or Cat'. O dead mnnliood! 

Had ever such a cause so faint a servant? 

Shame brand me, if 1 do not suffer for him ! 
Col, I've heard, sir, you've been guilty of mucb 

For your brave earliness at such a meeting r 

You've lost the glory of that way this morning; 

I was the first to-day. 

Cap. Aoer. So were you ever 

In my respect, sir. 

First Fr. of Cap. O most base pr^ludium! 
Cap. Acer. 1 never thought on Victory, our mis- 

Wiih greater reverence than I have your worth, 
Nor ever lov'd her better. 

First Fr. of Cap. 'Slight, I ^uld knock 
His brains 'bout his heels, methmks ! 

Sec. Fr. of Cap. Peace, prithee, peace. 

• cofflf] Old eds. " cora'd." 


Cap. Ager. Success in you has been my absolute ^ 
joy ; 
And when Fve wish'd content, I've irish'd your n^ 

First Fr. of Cap. Stay, let ine but run him 
through the tongue a little ; 
There's lawyer's blood in't, you shall see foul gear 
Sec. Fr. of Cap. Come, you're as mad now as 

he's cowardous. 
Col. I came not hither, sir, for an encomium. 
First Fr. of Cap. No, the more coxcomb he that 
claws the head 
Of your vain-glory with't ! {^Aside, 

Col. I came provided 
For storms and tempests, and the foulest season 
That ever rage let forth, or blew in wildness 
From the incensed prison of man's blood. 

Cap. Ager. 'Tis otherwise with me ; I come with 
Peace, constant amity, and calm forgiveness, 
The weather of a Christian and a friend. 

First Fr. of Cap. Give me a valiant Turk, though 

not worth tenpence,* rather. 
Cap. Ager. Yet, sir, the world will judge the 
injury mine, 
Insufferably^ mine, mine beyond injury : 
Thousands have made a less wrong reach to hell, 
Ay, and rejoic'd in his most endless vengeance, 
A miserable triumph, though a just one ! 
But when I call to memory our long friendship, 

* Turkf though not worth tenpence'] So in Dekker's SatirO' 
nuutix, 1602, ** wilt fight, Turke-a-tenpence ?** sig. u 2 ; and in 
Dekker and Webster's Westward Ho, 1607, the great X^rk is 
called " t?ie ten-penny infidel :" see my ed. of Webster's Works, 
iii. 95, » Inst^erably] Old eds. ** Insufiferable." 

» tkia. or ABRBL. 

II a oTong 

TIiAt then I hIiouIU not panloi 
F or n poor bflatv^syllaljl e of two'; 

An3_vcntcil only in I'orgciful fury. 

Chain all^ieTiopes"an(fr!cTres"oriii8 soul 
""To tTrejreyenge ofthat, die lost for ever? 
""Tor he that raalies \n» tost' peace wiiE liis M&l 
In anger, anger is his peace eteritally ; 
He must expect the same return again 
Whose venture U deceitful ; muet he not, sir { 

Cot. I see what I must do, fairly put up again; 
For here'll be nothing done, 1 perceive that. 
.' Cat. Agek. _\V'h at^all b e done in sucIla wi 

But t(/Be sorryj and to be forgiven ; 
You, sir, to bring repentance, and 1 pardoi 

Col. 1 bring repentance, sir ? 

Cap. Adeb. If'l be too much 
To say rep entanc e, call it wha 

And that's as good. 

Col. I sorry? by fame's honour, la 
Do you seek for peace, and draw the quarrel larger 

Cap. AcEa. Then 'lis I am sorry that I thought 

FiBST Fr. of Cap. A captain! 1 could gnaw his 

lille off. 
Cap.iAger. Nor is it any misbecoming virtue, air. 
In the best manliness to repent a wrong, 
Which made me bold with you. 

Fikst Fr- of Cap. I could cuffhis head off. 

Skc. Fr. of Cap. Nsy. pish! 

First Fr. of Cap. Pox on him, I could t 

bultqck bnk'dLinetljiiiJts ]_" 
Cirf. ^o, once again take thou thy peaceful r 

then ; [Slieathing hit necri* 

a wrong u 


But as I put thee np, I must proclaim 
This captain here, both to his friends and mine, 
That only came to see fair valour righted, < 

A base submissive coward ; so I leave him. 

[^Offers to go away» 
Cap. Aoer. O, heaven has pitied my excessive 
And sent me a cause ! now I have a cause ; 
A coward I was never. — Come you back, sir ! 
Col. How? 

Cap. Ager. You left a coward here. 
Col. Yes, sir, with you. 

Cap. Aoer. 'Tis such base metal, sir, 'twill not 
be taken ; 
It must home again with you. 

Sec. Fr. of Cap. Should this be true now ! 
First Fr. of Cap. Impossible ! cowar d do more 

_ than bas Urd ? 
CoL. 1 pfitKee, mock me not, take heed you do 
For if I draw once more, I shall grow terrible, 
And rage will force me do what will grieve honour. 
Cap. Aoer. Ha, ha, ha ! 

Col. He smiles ; dare it be he ? — What think you, 
gentlemen ? 
Your judgments, shall I not be cozen*d in him ? 
This cannot be the man : why, he was bookish, 
Made an invective lately against fighting, 
A thing, in troth, that mov*d a little with me. 
Put up a fouler contumely far 
Than thousand cowards came to, and grew thankful. 
Cap. Aoer. Blessed remembrance^ in time of 
need ! 
rd lost my honour else. 

^ remembrance] To be read as if written rememberance : but 
qy. " remerobrancer ? " 


Sec. Fr. of Cap. Do you note his joy ? 

Cap. Aoer. I never felt a more severe necessity ; 
Tlien came thy excellent pity. Not yet ready f 
Have you such confidence in my just manhood. 
That you dare so long trust me, and yet tempt me 
Beyond the toleration of man's virtue ? 
Why, would you be more cruel than your injury ? 
Do you first take pride to wrong me, and then think 

Not worth your fury ? do not use me so ; 
I shall deceive you then. Sir, either draw, 
And that not slightingly, but with the care 
Of your best preservation, with that watchfulness 
As you'd defend yourself from circular fire. 
Your sin's rage, or her lord — this will require it — 
Or you'll be too soon lost, for I've an anger 
Has gather'd mighty strength against you, mighty : 
Yet you shall find it honest to the last, 
Noble and fair. 

Col. ril venture't once again ; 
And 7f 't be but as true as it is wondrous, 
I shall have that I come for : your leave, gentlemen. 

First Fr. of Cap. If he should do't indeed, and 
deceive's all now ! 
Stay, by this hand he offers — fights, i'faith! 

[^Colonel and Captain AoEB.Jight, 
Fights, by this light he fights, sir ! 

Sec. Fr. of Cap. So methinks, sir. 

First Fr. of Cap. An absolute punto, hey? 

Sec. Fr. of Cap. 'Twas a passado, sir. 

First Fr. of Cap. Why, let it pass, and^ 'twas; 
I'm sure twas somewhat. 
What's that now ? 

Sec, Fr. of Cap. That's a punto. 

' and] i. c. if. 


First Fr. of Cap. O, go to, then ; 
I knew 'twas not far off. What a world's this ! 
Is coward a more stirring meat than bastard, my 

masters ? 
Put in more eggs, for shame, when you get children. 
And make it true court-custard. — Ho, I honour 

thee ! 
'Tis right and fair ; and he that breathes against it, 
He breathes against the justice of a man, 
And man to cut him off 'tis no injustice. 

[The Colonel falls. 
Thanks, thanks for this most unexpected nobleness ! 
Cap. Acer. Truth never fails her servant, sir, 
nor leaves him 
With the day's shame upon him. 

First Fr. of Cap. Thou'st redeem'd 
Thy worth to the same height 'twas first esteem'd.** 

{_ExU Captain Ager with his Friends. 

^ first esteemed] Tliis scene, and nearly the whole of the 
first scene of the second act, are given in the Spec, of Engl. 
Dram, Poets by Lamb, whose remarks on them are too weighty 
to be omitted here : ** The insipid levelling morality to which 
the modern stage is tied down would not admit of such ad- 
mirable passions as these scenes are filled with. A puritanical 
obtuseness of sentiment, a stupid infantile goodness, is creep- 
ing among us, instead of the vigorous passions, and virtues 
clad in flesh and blood, with which the old dramatists present 
us. Those noble and liberal casuists could discern in the 
differences, the quarrels, the animosities of man, a beauty and 
truth of moral feeling, no less than in the iterately inculcated 
duties of forgiveness and atonement. With us all is hypo- 
critical meekness. A reconciliation scene (let the occasion 
be never so absurd or unnatural) is always sure of applause. 
Our audiences come to the theatre to be complimented on 
their goodness. They compare notes with the amiable cha- 
racters in the play, and find a wonderful similarity of dispo- 
sition between them. We have a common stock of dramatic 
morality, out of which a writer may be supplied, without the 
trouble of copying it from originals within his own breast. 



First Fr. of Col. Alas, tio» is il, sir? givn 
same hope 
Of your stay with us : let your spirit he ai 
Above your fortune ; the best fortituJe 
Has been of foie ill-friended : now force your em- 
And reicn ttbove your blood, spite of dejecti 
Reduce" ihe monarchy of your abler mind, 
L«t not flesh Htraiten it. 

CoL. O, just heaven has found me. 
And turn'd the stings' of my too hasty injuriM 
Into my own blood ! I pursu'd my ruin. 
And urg'd him post the patience of an angel: . 
Coidd man's revenge extend bcvond mni 
This would ha' wak'd it. If this flame will 1ig| 
But till I see my sister, 'tis a kind one; 
More I expect not from'U Noble deserver ! . 
Farewell, most valiant and most wrong'd of n 
Do but forgive me, and I'm victor then. 

[Exit, kdoffbyhix Fnmdf. 

To know llie bounilanei oFliDnour, to be judiciously nlUnt. 
to have a lempGrsDce which «haJI bufex a sniooThnvn in tba 
■Dgrj^ (wellings oryoulh, to CBlmoi lire bi nothing wben the 
dcrvil rcpuinlion of a paTcnl it to be dele&iieil. jpcl to ahaln 
and Iremnlo under a ]iioui covrardice when thai atk of HI 
hanesi confldrncp is found to be fni[l and loiiering, to feel 
the true blowi of > renl disgrace blunting ihnt sw<^ uhleb 
the iinag-inar; icrokei of a luppoeed falie imputalion had pnl 
aD keen an edge upon bul lultly \ lo do, or In imagine Uia 
done in a Feigned story, asks lomething more of a nonl 
•enae. aoinewhal a grealer delicacy of perception in qiieitisnl 
of right and wrongs thxn gon lo the wriling of two or thr«« 
hackneyed arntendea about the laws of honour aa oppofvd to 
the lana of the land, or a common' pine e agatnai dueilinfr. Vet 
•uch ibinga would itand a writer aow-n-daya in tu better 
■lead than Capiaia Ager and hii cotucientious honour ; and 
be would be considered aa a far better teacher ofisonJitj 
than old Rowley or MiddletUD if ihey were living." P. IH^ 
" fl#rf«w] i. e. Bring back. • ttUgi] Old «la, " -" — " 




A Room in the Physician's House, 

Enter Physician^ Jane, Anne, and Dutch Nurse with 

a Child. 

Phy. Sweet fro,^ to your most indulgent care 
Take this my heart's joy ; I must not tell you 
The value of this jewel in my bosom. 

Nurse. Dat you may veil, sir ; der can niet for- 
stoore you. 

PuY. Indeed I cannot tell you ; you know, nurse. 
These are above the quantity of price : 
Where is the glory of the goodliest trees 
But in the fruit and branches ? the old stock 
Must decay ; and sprigs, scions such as these. 
Must become new stocks, for^ us to glory 
In their fruitful issue ; so wfLare m^d e \ 

Imm ortal one bj LDther.^ ^ 

Purse. You spreet a most lieben fader, and ich 
sail do de best of tender nurses to dis infant, my 
pretty frokin. 

Phy. I know you will be loving: here, sweet 
friend ; [Gives money. 

Here's earnest of a large sum of love and coin 
To quitB^ your tender care. 

Jane. I have some reason too 
To purchase your dear care unto this infant. 

[Gives money. 

Nurse. You be de witness of de baptim, dat is, 
as you spreken, de godimother, ich veil forstoore 
it so. 

Jane. Yes, I'm the bad mother, — if it be of- 
fence. [Aside, 

• fro] Or frow — ^i. e. woman, 
'/or] Oldeds. "from." 

f quit] L e. requite. 

Javx. Yoor imvadltn love 1 cxtinot suuJj 
Bat whfa a neaial amnory or yoar virton : 
Yrt In ne not eag>Ke yoor cost nitfaal ; 
BwMdi joa then uke restitution 
Of paJnt Mid bounty which yoa have disburs'd 
For your poor debtor. 

Piir. Ynu will not offer it i 
Do not esteem my love so mercenary 
To be the hire of coin i sure, ! shall think 
You do not hold so worthily of me 
As I wish to deserre. 

Jane. No'' recompense? 
Then you will beggar me wjili too much ere 
Is't' not BulBcient you preserve my name. 
Which I had forfeited to shame and scorn. 

■' Not'' (aDiiipriDt for "Noe").l 


Cover my vices with a veil of love, 

Defend and keep me from a father's rage, 

Whose love yet infinite, not knowing this. 

Might, knowing, turn a hate as infinite ; 

Sure he would throw me ever from his blessings, 

And cast his curses on me ! Yes, further. 

Your secrecy keeps me in the state of woman ; 

For else what husband would choose me his wife, 

Knowing the honour of a bride were lost ? 

I cannot number half the good you do me 

In the conceaVd retention of my sin ; 

Then make me not worse than I was before. 

In my ingratitude, good sir. 

Phy. Again ? 
I shall repent my love, if you'll so calPt, 
To be made such a hackney : give me coin ? 
I had as lief you gave me poison, lady. 
For I have art and antidotes 'gainst that ; 
I might take that, but this I will refuse. 

Jane. Will you then teach me how I may requite 
In some small quantity ? 

Phy. 'Twas that I look'd for. — {_Aside. 

Yes, I will tell you, lady, a full quittance, 
And how you may become my creditress. 

Jane. I beseech you, do, sir ! 

Phy. Indeed I will, lady : 
Not in coin, mistress ; for silver, though white. 
Yet it draws black lines ; it shall not rule my 

There to mark forth his base corruption : 
Pay me again in the same quality 
That I to you tender'd, — that is, love for love. 
Can you love me, lady ? you have confess'd 
My love to you, 

Jane. Most amply. 

▲ 2Axm 

Par. F^ jna da z makm 
lb viiac ^oa knew; 
Tkac I vponiii read id ^«l 

X txz. sore dioi I oeed hoc 
React :c vz^ixl, ur. 

Pht. Y-2i. it makes perfect : 
Yon ido^v die way unco JLchilles' spesr ;^ 
If diat lart 50a. I have dke csre, jov. ice. 

JxKZ. Craae^ joa're a good maa ; I do p ciceife 

Yoo pic 2 trial to toe : I tbaak too ; 

YoQ are my just eno^nsoc, and, belieTe me, 

III haTe no farther penance for this sin. 

Convert a je^r onto a lasting erer. 

And call'c ApoHo's smile : 'twas once, then nerer. 

pRT. Praj yoo, mistake me not ; indeed I love 

Jatte. Indeed? what deed? 

PffT. The deed that yoo have done. 

Jake. I cannot believe yon. 

Pht. Believe the deed then ! 

Jane. Away, yon are a blackamoor! you love 
me ? 

^ ArhilUi^ »]>ear\ So in Shakespeare's Second Part of Heurji 

" Whose smile and frown, like to JchiUes* gpear, 
Is able with the change to kill and cure." 

Act V. 8C. 1. 


I hate you for your love ! A ye yn^ the 

That in your painted outside seem'd so wh ite ? 

O you're a touj. dissemblinf^ hypocrite ! 

You sav'd me from a thiefrthat yourself might rob 

me ;_ 
Skinn'd over a preen wound to breed an ulcer :__ 
Is this the practice of your physic-college f 
~ Ler'd all your ni 

Fhy. Wave you yet utter'd all your niceness" 
forth ? 

If you have more, vent it ; certes,^ I think 
Your first grant was not yielded with less pain ; 
If 'twere, you have your price, yield it again. 

Jane. Pray you, tell me, sir, — I ask'd it before, — 
Is it a practice amongst you physicians ? 

Phy. Tush, that's a secret ; we cast all waters ; 
Should I reveal, you would mistrust my counsel : 
The lawyer and physician here agrees,™ 
To women-clients they give back their fees ; 
And is not that kindness ? 

Jane. This for thy love ! [^Spits at him. 

Out, outside of a man ! thou cinnamon-tree. 
That but thy bark hast nothing good about thee ! 
The unicorn is hunted for his horn, 
The rest is left for carrion : thou false man, 
Thou'st fish'd with silver hooks and golden baits ; 
But I'll avoid all thy deceiving sleights." 

Phy. Do what you list, I will do something too ; 
Remember yet what I have done for you : 
You have a good face now, but 'twill grow rugged; 
Ere you grow old, old men will despise you : 
Think on your grandame Helen, the fairest queen ; 

•' niceness'] See note, p. 451. 
* Genes'] i. e. certainly. 

" agrees] 1 have not altered this word into the plural, be- 
cause a rhyme is intended. 
" sleights] i. e. artifices. 

B a « new ghus' thv spied ber old hce, 
pew, tmOiBg, xept to tfainlc npon the chattge : 
I T>ke nmr tiisc ; yaa're cnu'd, you're an apple 
I '&I]'n 

I Trota Ute tree ; if jon be kcpi loog, yosll r 
'Studjr Toar answer nell : ;et I love yon ; 
'If 3ro<i rcfus«, I have s hand aboTe ^ou]. 

Jass. Poison thywlf, [faoii foul empoisoner-d 

rOf tliine own prarii<{ue drink Uie iheory ! 

I'^Wkat a wtiite derit have I tnei wtihal ! 

^ What afaall I do ! — wbat do f ta it a question n 

Nor sbane, nor Kate, nor fear, nor Inst, nor fo^ 

Now being too bad, shall ever make me tvorae. 

Rt-eMer Akke. 
What bare tre bere ? a second spirit f 
AsKE. Mistress, 

Jakk. Is yout message f[ood ? 

A»E. As you receive it: 
Mr brother «eoi me, and you know he loves y 

Jane. I beard say so ; but 'twas a false rep< 

Anke. Pray, pardon me, I must do my n 
Who lives commanded must obey his keeper : 
I must persuade you lo this act of woi 

Jane. Woman? of strumpet! 

Anxe. Indeed, of strumpet ; 
He takes you at <tdvantage of your fal 
Seeing you down before, 

Jake. Curse on his feign'd smiles ! 

" Flei quoque, ul in speculo rugu odspexit i 
Tyn.l.ria." Ovil MiL XX. S 

tn Thi StcoHd Pari of the Iret, Aft. 1632, by HcymiiNl, !_____ 
ttruiglei beraell^ after suTiej^ng the ruim orh«t beauty in 



Anne. He's my brother, mistress ; and a curse 
on you, 
If e'er you bless him with that cursed d^ed! 
Hang him, poison him !, he held out a rose. 
To draw the yielding sense, which, come to hand, 
e shifts, and give s a canker? 
ANE. You speak well yet. 
Anne. Ay, but, mistress, now I consider it. 
Your reputation lies at his mercy. 
Your fault dwells in his breast ; say he throw't out, 
It will be known ; how are you then undone ! 
Think on't, your good name ; and they're not to 

be sold 
In every market ; a good name is dear. 
A nd indeed more esteemed than our_action3. 
By which we sho uld deserve it. 
Jane. Ay me, most wretchecTT 
Anne. What? do you shrink at that? 
Would you not wear one spot upon your face. 
To keep your whole body Irom a leprosy, 
Th ough It were undTsc6'v e F3 e^ er ? Han g him ! 
F ear aim i^pt : horseleec hes sucJ'o'uTTiis corr 

Tiis corrupt 

D raw you none fr om him, ' less it be pure and good. 
Jane. Do you speak your souF? ^ 

Anne. By my soul do I ! 

Jane. Then yet I have a friend : but thus exhort 
And I have still a column to support me. 

Anne. One fault 
Heaven soon forgives, and 'tis on earth forgot ; 
The moon herself is not without one spot. 


p canker'} i. e. wild rose, or dog-rose. 


k FAtn aUjUtRSL. 

A Room tn Ladt Acer's Hotae. 
Enter Ladv Acer, nteeting a Servant. 
t.ADT AflBR. Now, air, where ib he T speak, ' 
comes lie not f 
I lent you for him. — Bless this fellow's senses I 
What has he seen ? a soul nine hours entranc'd, 
Hovering 'twixt hell and heaven, could not 

ghutlier. .. 
Not yet return an answer ? — 

Enter t 

teeond Servant. 

What say you, uf4 

Where is he T 

Sec. Serv. Gone. 

Lady Agcr. What say'st thou I 

Sec. Serv. He h gone, madam ; 
Bui, as we heard, unwdlingly he went 
As ever blood en fore' d. 

Lady Ao Ell. Went? whither went he? 

Sec. Serv. Madam, I fear I ha' said loo much 

Lady Acer. These men are both agreed. — Speak, 
whither went he? 

Sec. Serv. Why. to — I would you'd think the 
rest yourself, madam. 

Ladv Aoeb. Meek patience bless me I 

Sbc. Se«v. To the field. 

First Sekv. To tight, madam. 

Lady Acer. To fight? 

First Serv. There came two urging gentlemen. 
That call'd tlicmselves his seconds ; both so powerful. 
As 'tis reported, they prevail'd with bim 
With little labour. 


Lady Aoer. O, he's lost, he's gone ! 
For all my pains, he*s gone ! two meeting torrents 
Are not so merciless as their two rages : 
He never comes again. Wretched affection ! 
Have I helied my faith, injur'd my goodness, 
Slander'd my honour for his preservation. 
Having but only him, and yet no happier ? 
Tis then a judgment plain ; truth's angry with me, 
In that I would abuse her sacred whiteness 
For any worldly temporal respect : 
Forgive me then, thou glorious woman's virtue, 
Admir'd where'er thy habitation is, 
Especially in us weak ones ! O, forgive me. 
For 'tis thy vengeance this ! To belie truth. 
Which is so hardly ours, with such pain purchas'd, ' 
Fastings and prayers, continence and care. 
Misery must needs ensue. Let him not die 
In that unchaste belief of his false birth, 
And my disgrace ! whatever angel guides him. 
May this request be with my tears obtain'd, 
Let his soul know my honour is unstain'd ! — 

Run, seek, away ! if there be any hope. 
Let me not lose him yet. \_Exeunt servants,'] When 

I think on him. 
His dearness. and his worth, it earns ^ me more : 
T^hevihat l^now riches tremble to be poor. 
IMy passion is not every woman's sorrow : 
She must be truly honest feels my grief. 
And only known to one ; if such there be. 
They know the sorrow that oppresseth me. [Exit. 

*» cams'] i. e. yearns^ grieves. So Lilly ; 

** Their sad depart would make my hart to earne.*' 

The Woman in the Moone, sig. c ii. 1597. 
So Spenser also writes the word. 




The Roaring' SchoolJ 

Enter the ColonePs Friend,* Chough, Trimtrav, 
Usher, and several Roarers. 

CoL.'s Fr. Truth, sir, I must needs blame you 
for a truant, having but one lesson read to you, and 
neglect so soon ; ^e, I must see you once a-day at 

Chough. Would I were whipt, tutor, if it were 
not *long of my man Trimtram here ! 

Trim. Who, of me? 
. Chough. Take*t upon thee. Trim ; Til give thee 
five shillings, as I am a gentleman. 

Trim. I'll see you whipt first: — well, I will too, 
— Faith, sir, 1 saw he was not perfect, and I was 
loath he should come before to shame himself. 

.CoL.'s Fr. How ? shame, sir ? is it a shame for 
scholars to learn? Sir, there are great scholars 
that are but slenderly read in our profession : sir, 
first it must be economical, then ecumenical : shame 
not to practise in the house how to perform in the 
field : the nail that is driven takes a little hold at 
the first stroke, but more at the second, and more 
at the third, but when *tis home to the head, then 
'tis firm. 

Chough. Faith, I have been driving it home to 
the head this two days. 

' The Roaring School^ See note, p. 485. 

• the ColoneVs Friend] Old eds. " the Colonels Second**— 
i. e. one of the gentlemen who attended the Colonel in the 
duel with Captain Ager ; and who (if I rightly understand the 
last lines of this scene) has set up for a teacher of '* roaring** 
during peace-time. 


Trim. I helped to hammer it in as well as I could 
too, sir. 

Col/s Fr. Well, sir, I will hear you rehearse 
anon : meantime peruse the exemplary of my bills, 
and tell me in what language I shall roar a lecture 
to you ; or I'll read to you the mathematical science 
of roaring. 

Chough. Is it mathematical ? 

CoL.'s Fr. O, sir, do™ not the winds roar, the -^ 
sea roar, the welkin^ roar? — indeed most things do 
roar by nature — and is not the knowledge of these 
things mathematical ? 

Chough. Pray proceed, sir. 

CoL.'s Fr. [reads] The names of the languages, 
the Sclavonianf Parthamenian, Barmeothian, TybuV' 
nian, Wappinganianj or the modem Londonian : any 
man or woman that is desirous to roar in any of these 
languages, in a week they shall be perfect if they will 
take pains ; so let 'em repair into Holbom to the sign 
of the Cheat-Loaf 

Chough. Now your bill speaks of that I was 
wondering a good while at, your sign; the loaf 
looks very like breads i'faith, but why is it called 
the Cheat-Loaf? 

CoL.'s Fr. This house was sometimes a baker's, 
sir, that served the court, where the bread is called 
cheat.^ V ^ 

Trim. Ay, ay, 'twas a baker that cheated the j / 

court with bread. 

CoL.'s Fr. Well, sir, choose your languages ; and 
your lectures shall be read, between my usher and 

" do] Old eds. " doeg." " welkin] i. e. sky. 

^ cheat] Was certainly wheaten bread of the second sort ; 
but qy., is the word used here for a fine sort of bread — as it 
seems also to be in a passage quoted by Nares, Glott, in y. ? 




myxelf, for your better instruction, pTOTided 1 
conditions be jicrfornieil in the premises befona 

Cnorou. Look you, sir, there's twenty pouaL 
Iiand, and inrenty more 1 am to pny when IM 
allowed a sufficient roarer. [Gire« mn 

CoL.'s Ft(. You speak in good earnest, sir} 

CaovGK. Ves, faith do I ; Trimtram shall be »y 

Tkiu. Yea, indeed, sir, twenty pound is very 


Ubii. Sir, one thing 1 tnusi tell you belongs to 
my place : yau are the youngest scholar ; and lill 
another comes under you, there is a certain garnish 
belongs to the school ; for in our practice we grow 
to a qaarrel ; then there must be wine ready to 
make all friends, for that's the end of roaring, 'tia 
valiant, but harmless; and this charge is yours. 

Cmodob. With all my heart, i'faiih, and I If. " 
the better because no blood comes on it: wboij 
fetch J 

First Roas." I'll be your spaniel, s: 

CoL.'s Fr. Bid Vapour bring some tobacco too. 

Ciiouoit. Do, and here's money for't. 

Usii. No, you shall not; let me see the money: 
so [lakei the money], I'll keep it, and discharge hini 
alter the combat. [£j-t( First RoarerJ^ For your 
practice sake, you and your man shall roar him out 
on't — for indeed you must pay your debts so, for 
that's one of the main ends of roaring — and nlien 
you have left him in a chafe, then I'll qualify the 

Chough. Content. — ITaitli, Trim, we'll roar t 
rusty rascal out of his tobacco. 


Trim. Ay, and' he had the best craccus in 

CoL.'s Fr. Observe, sir, we could now roar in 
the Sclavonian language, but this practice hath 
been a little sublime, some hairsbreadth or so 
above your caput ; I take it, for your use and 
understanding both, it were fitter for you to taste 
the modern assault, only the Londonian roar. 

Chough. Ffaith, sir, that's for my purpose, for I 
shall use all my roaring here in London ; in Corn- 
wall we are all for wrestling, and I do not mean to 
travel over sea to roar there. 

CoL.'s Fr.* Observe then, sir ; — but it were neces- 
sary you took forth your tables* to note the most 
difficult points for the better assistance of your 

• Chough. Nay, sir, my man and I keep two 

Trim. Ay, sir, and as many trenchers, cats' meat 
and dogs' meat enough. 

CoL.'s Fr. Note, sir. — Dost thou confront my 
Cyclops ? 

UsH. With a Briarean brousted. 

Chough. Cyclops. [Writes, 

Trim. Briarean. iWrites, 

CoL.'s Fr. I know thee and thy lineal pedigree. 

UsH. It is collateral, as Brutus and Posthumus. 

Trim. Brutus. [Writes. 

Chough. Posthumus. [Writes, 

CoL.'s Fr. False as the face of Hecate ! thy sister 
is a 

Ush. What is my sister, centaur ? 

* and^ i. e. if. 

■ tables'] i. e. tablets, memorandum-books. 


CoL.'s Fa. Dislocafe thy bladudi g 
UsH. Bladud shall conjure, if his demons once 

Re-enter First Roarer with wine,foll<mfed by Vapour 

with tobacco, 

CoL.'s Fe. Advance thy respondency. 

Chough. Nay, good gentlemen,'^ do not fall out. 
— A cup of wine quickly, Trimtram ! 

UsH. See, my steel hath a glister ! 

Chough. Pray wipe him, and put him up again, 
good usher. 

UsH. Sir, at your request I pull down the flag of 

CoL.'s Fr. Give me a bowl of wine, my fury shall 
be quenched : here, usher ! [Drinks, 

UsH. I pledge thee in good friendship. [^Drinks, 

Chough. I like the conclusion of roaring very 
well, i'faith. 

Trim. It has an excellent conclusion indeed, if 
the wine be good, always provided. 

CoL.'s Fr. O, the wine must be always provided, 
be sure of that. 

UsH. Else you spoil the conclusion, and that you 
know crowns all. 

Chough. *Tis much like wrestling, i'faith, for we 
shake hands ere we begin ; now that's to avoid the 
law, for then if he throw him a furlong into the 
ground, he cannot recover himself upon him, be- 
cause 'twas done in cold friendship. 

9 Dislocate thy hUidud'] i. e., I suppose, draw thy sword. 
The reply of the Usher, " Bladud shall conjure," &c., seems 
to allude to the story of King Bladud, who was famous for 
*' his craft of nygromancy :" see Mirror for Magittrates, i. 106. 
ed. Haslewood, and note there. 

^ gentlemen] Old edt. " gentleman.*' 

Cn.^ Fa. I bcBcT* jua, • 
~ ' ti tb«i «« d 

: imsdiBg wni roM-tng &r a 
rat na be. T&ilK, cren like loag sword and half 

Cax.'* Fk. Kay, liw; are reapronl. if yoa mark 

k, fer aa there ta a great rfMrug H wreatlrng, sa 

. Aer* b a kind of wresttn^ and eooteniian at 

Cacicen. True, i'faiih, for I have beard 'eio roar 
ItMa the aix windmills to lalingtoo: thoce bav« 

fr Wen great falli then. 

r Coi.'( Fa. Cone now, a brief rrhearsa] of yen 

I odter day's leaaon, betwixt f oar man and yoa, and 
Ifaen for (o-dav nc break op acbool. 
Cboccb. Come, Trimmm. — If I be out, tutor, 

[ ril be bold to look in my tables, b«caine I donb4 

[ I an acarce perfect. 

CoL.'s Fk. Well, well, I will no* see small fan 
CoocoB. Tbewatl! 

TaiM. The wall of me ? to thy kennel, spaa 
Chocob. Wilt Uiou not yield precedency T 
Tbu. To ibee? I know thee and thy brood. ' 
Ctiotrcu. Knowest thou my brood ? 1 know (by 
brood too, thou art a rook. 

Tbim. The nearer akin to the choughs!'' 
Chocoh. TTie rooks akin to the choughs f 
Cot.'s Fa. Very well maintained ! 

CuotJOH. " 


Chouoh. Have some wine ready to make us 
flriends, I pray you. 

Trim. Chough, I will make thee fly and roar. 

Chough. I will roar if thou strikest me. 

CoL.*s Fr. So, 'tis enough ; now conclude in 
wine : I see you will prove an excellent practi- 
tioner : wondrous well performed on both sides ! 

Chough. Here, Trimtram, I drink to thee. 

Trim. FU pledge you in good friendship. 

Enter Servant. 

Serv. Is there not one master Chough here ? 

Ush. This is the gentleman, sir. 

Serv. My master, sir, your elected father-in-law, 
desires speedily to speak with you. 

Chough. Friend, I will follow thee: I would 
thou hadst come a little sooner ! thou shouldst have 
seen roaring sport, i'faith. 

Serv. Sir, Til return that you are following. 

Chough. Do so [exit Servant'], — I'll tell thee, 
tutor, I am to marry shortly ; but I will defer it a 
while till I can roar perfectly, that I may get the 
upper hand of my wife on the wedding-day ; 'tmust 
be done at first or never. 

CoL.'s Fr. 'Twill serve you to good use in that, 

Chough. How likest thou this, whiffler?^ 

Vap. Very valiantly, i'faith, sir. 

Chough. Tush, thou shalt see more by and by. 

^ whiffler] i. e. whiffer, puffer — of tobacco, which Vapour 
sold. *' Taking the whiffy* (an expression of which the mean- 
ing is uncertain) was one of the accomplishments of a smoker : 
see B. Jonson's Every Man out of hU Humour — WorkM, ii. 9, 97. 
ed. Gifford. 


I cnn stay no lonj^t indeedt sir : whojl 
ny tobacco ? 

w ? pay for tobacco ? awfly, y^sopty-^ | 

■om iisly p i gCf nr\lnrili'iiui^ )g| -pn ^ I 

/ Ciioioii. Ma^ thy roll' rot, and thy puddm 

I ^121' in jjeces, ~Eging"" s6pliTslicatPil wjlhTillfii 

t<. May sergeants dwell on either side of 
thee, to Tnghi nnny thy twopenny customers ! 

CnovGH, And for thy [*enny ones, let ihetn suck 
thee dry 1 

Trim. Wlien ihou art dead, mayegt thou have no 
other sheets to be buried in but mouldy tobacco- 
leaves ! 

Cmoucii. And no strawings to stick thy carcass 
but tlie bitter stalks! 

TxiM. Thy mourners all greasviamters ! 

Chough. With foul tobi^co^^pipesiiTTheir bats, 
instead of ratten rosemary ;"" antl last of all, may 
my man and I live to see all this performed, and 
to piss reekint; even upon thy grave! 

Tiiisi. And last of nil for me, let this epiiapb be 
remembered over thee : 
Here coldly nov witk'm 
' yesterday 

Some soy he dUd by pudding, 


Othert by roll and ball, tome Uaf; all «{ici' 

' mark] A piny on ihc ward — a nor* vriu 
' re// . . . pudiling] Tobacco nitde u|i in parriculsril 
•«*> ball, lea/, tio^ meotiaiieil {)ruenlly in ibe tpitt^ 
" rou-maryj Uced at ftmerala : ~ ' " " 


Fast in censure^^ yet think it strange and rare^ 
He liv'd by smoke, yet died for want of air : 
But then the surgeon said, when he beheld him, 
It was the burning of his pipe that killed him. 
Chough. So, are you paid now, whiffler ? 
Vap. All this is but smoke out of a stinking pipe. 
Chough. So, so, pay him now, usher. 

[Vapour is paid by the Usher, and exit. 
CoL.'s Fr. Do not henceforth neglect your school- 
ing, master Chough. 

Chough. Call me rook, if I do, tutor. 
Trim. And me raven, though my name be Trim- 

Chough. Farewell, tutor. 
Trim. Farewell, usher. 

[^Exeunt Chough and Trimtram. 
CoL.'s Fr. Thus when the drum*s unbraced, and J >^ 

trumpet[s] cease, * 

Soldiers must get pay for to live in peace. 



A Chamber in the ColoneVs House. 

The Colonel discovered lying on a couch, several of 
his friends watching him : as the Surgeon is going 
out, the ColoneVs Sister enters,^ 

CoL.'s SisT. O my most worthy brother, thy hard 
fate 'twas ! — 
Come hither, honest surgeon, and deal faithfully 
With a distressed virgin : what hope is there ? 

" censure\ i. c. opinion. 

<* enters] The only stage- direction in old eds. is '' Enttr 
the CoUmels SUter, meeting the Surgeon,'^ 


SuBo. Hope? chilis* ctm *scsp'(l i 

Col/sSibt. Wlial's ibai. sir ? 

SuRo. CsTs vena : I care but liiile for bis wmmd 
P ih' Qcsophag.c nol thug much, trust me ; but when 
they comi^ to iltapbragma oiicf, the small intestines, 
oi tbc Bpiiml Dieilul, or i' ih' roots of the etnuncto- 
rieu of Uie noble parts, then straigbi I tear a syn- 
cope ;4 the flanka retiring towarda ihe back, the 
urine bloody, the excrements purulent, and the 
dolour pricking or pungent. 

Cot.'s SisT. Alas, I'm ne'er the belter for this 

Si^Hu. Now I must tell you his principal dolour 
lies i' ilr region of the liver, and there's both in< 
flnniroation and tumefaction' feared ; marry, 1 made 
him B qundra[n]gular plumation, where I used irap- 
guig drscunis, by my faith, with ponders inc&rnniive, 
nhich 1 tempered with oil of hypericon, and otber 
liquor* mundiBcBtive. 

Col.'r SisT. Pox a' your mundies figativcB! I 
would ibry were all fired ! 

StiRO. But I purpose, lady, to make another ex- 
periinunt at next dressing with a sarcotic' medi- 
cament mnUe of iris of Florence ; tlms, 
colaphonn, opoponax,' sarcocolU* 

CoL.'s SisT. Sacro-halter ! what comfort ii 

• fhlUi] Old cds. "ChiUii" " Alio 
or bouacn of ih« liusr ihi-re iwueih a 
M i-KOh." &e. Vigon'f fr«*« t^C'him 

<• inufJuiti Old edi. " onoph^a." 

' ifmnmil Old odi. " synoopi.' 

■ Inm^triiau] Old tit. " turmafaclioi 

• MrcvCvj Old (ill. " sBTCoriicke." 
' vptptaxr] Olil eds. " apopani»." 

• MrrweoJln] Old vdi. •' McrocolU," which, pcrhipi (we 
the kd]t't r«ply), wu ux error of the aulber, noi o( the nriuiw. 


to a poor gentlewoman ? pray tell me in plain terms 
what you think of him. 

SuRO. Marry, in plain terras I know not what to 
say to hira : the wound, I can assure you, inclines 
to paralism, and I find his hody cacochymic : 
being then in fear of fever and inflammation, I 
nourish him altogether with viands refrigerative, 
and give for potion the juice of savicola dissolved 
with water cere folium : I could do no more, lady, if 
his best ginglymus^ were dissevered. [Exit. 

CoL.'sSlST. What th^"l^l^**** painft f1r>f a f he tOngUC 

often talce" 
To make the whole man most ridiculous ! 
I come to him for comfort, and he tires me 
Worse than my sorrow : what a precious good 
May be deliver'd sweetly in few words ! 
And what a mount of nothing has he cast forth ! 
Alas, his strength decays ! [Aside,'] — How cheer 

you, sir, 
My honour'd brother ? 

CoL. In soul never better ; 
I feel an excellent health there, such a stoutness 
My invisible enemies fly^ me ; seeing me arm'd 
With penitence and forgiveness, they fall backward. 
Whether through admiration, not imagining 
There were such armoury in a soldier's soul 
As pardon and repentance, or through power 
Of ghostly valour. But I have been lord 
Of a more happy conquest in nine hours now 
Than in nine years before. — O kind lieutenants, 
This is the oply war we should provide for ! 
Where he that forgives largest, and sighs strongest. 
Is a tried soldier, a true man indeed. 
And wins the best field, makes his own heart bleed. 
Read the last part of that will, sir. 

^ giffgiym^^ Old eds. " Guig^imos." 
'^ enemietfly^ Old eds. " enemy flies." 


FiKFT FiL. cfT Cc*L. ^^'BBiiirj' / tJm Te^fmtt flf lir 
lyT «nr aKtff hcimfci auier^ viov / wdbr ^Uf 
dkr iba^pcMicrr pfmg haig n hmriaimi Smd 
Mmrtm* f H' Fttid : a^ U cmr to fe Jnf i ifaf i rf ti 
(if /iwr oTtAT same pansk farty mmrt,'' ami to fftf 
wfwmamed wipers a Immirei: UuUy^ ^ g^ 
to my kmd, dear^ mmi rirtmmB ader At 
fidi pooKfOBm <f mof prewemi eaimtt m ndhes, mktiktr 

wkai larnd mtevrr. vpoi f4tf amJihrn fMtmmg^ ikol 
tktfimiiurkk tender hoti herwt^mmd mil tkewe n^Btf- 
w^emU to tkmt mMe captmm^ mof ImU emewnf^ eaftmm 

CoL.*s Sift. How. sir ? 

Ci'L. Read it again, sir : let her hear it plain. 

CoL-'s" SisT- Pray, spare yoar pains, sir ; 'tis too 
plain aJreadv. — 
Good sir, how do you ? is your memory perfect? 
This will makes question of yon: I hestow*d 
So much grief and compassion a' your wound, 
I never look'd into your senses' epilepsy : 
The sickness and infirmity of your judgment 
Is to he doubted now more than your body's. 
Whv, is vour love no dearer to me, sir, 
Than to dispose me so upon the man 

» first Fr. ofCoL [read*] Old eds. " 1 Liefetenant readt" 
— but the person called here Lieutenant is one of the Colonel's 
two friends who had acted as bis seconds in the duel : towards • 
the conclusion of the play we find, 

" Enter Colonel with Ai# two Friends" 

and presently after, 

** Col. O Lieutenant" &c. 

The other friend who attended him in the duel, having figured 
in the ureceding scene as a teacher of roaring, is not present, 
it should seem, in the sick cbamber. 
' mark] See note, p. 512. 


Whose fury is your body's present torment, 
The author of your danger ? one I hate 
Beyond the bounds of malice. Do you not feel 
His wrath upon you ? I beseech you, sir. 
Alter that cruel article ! 

Col. Cruel, sister ? — 
Forgive me, natural love, I must offend thee. 
Speaking to this woman. — Am I content. 
Having much kindred, yet to give thee all, 
Because in thee I'd raise my means to goodness. 
And canst thou prove so thankless to my bounty, 
To grudge my soul her peace ? is my intent 
^To leave her ric h, whose only Jesir e is_ 

To send me poorer into the next w(?rld 

_T han ever usurer went, or politic statist ? 
Is It so burdensome for thee to love 
Where I forgive ? O, wretched is the man 
That builds the last hopes of his saving comforts 
Upon a woman's charity ! he's most miserable : 
If it were possible, her obstinate will 
Will pull him down in his midway to heaven. 
I've wrong'd that worthy man past recompense, 
And in my anger robb'd him of fair fame ; 
And thou the fairest restitution art 
My life could yield him : if I knew a fairer, 
I'd set thee by and thy unwilling goodness, 
And never make my sacred peace of thee ; 
But there's the cruelty of a fate debarr'd, 
Thou art the last, and all, and thou art hard ! 

CoL.'s SisT. Let your griev'd heart hold better 
thoughts of me ; 
I will not prove so, sir ; but since you enforce it 
With such a strength of passion, I'll perform 
What by your will you have enjoin'd me to, 
Though the world never shew me joy again. 

CoL. O, this may be fair cunning for the time, 



A rAiB av.kkmB£. 

To pot ■£ OB, kwnria^ 1 
Aad wImb I look tobm 

1 alall bad na neb Om^ ; tfagi ««« vU* eOMi 

And not tabr npcnted. 

CoL.*s Sbt. B; «11 the blt MriiMo 
TwMih mad M pod liCe looks (oc, 1 wiU do't, lir t 

Ck. Coofant r 


I nwud jro« fia«*t wbcncW j 

I kaaw if foa 6att nmr, 1 may beliere. 



SCEXE ni. 

.^ Amm n Labi Aeca'a Homm. 
Elrr CATtux AcKK. 
C«r. AoKS. No MOBcr bare I entnnee 

Bu oB n^ jof fklb fron me, whidi was woot 
To bo tke tameemty of nijr oomforts : 
McAnngfcl I ler'd it widi a nTerent gUdoess, 
As Wj' ma io ceasecntHl trmples 
Foe Am MB^s nke. mhoA I belKr'd my moifccT ; 
Etot M«M a 6be friib sioco, a rearfnl herecjr, 
O, no'd cfWi ik* osnBOBce of kb ^j> 
Upea a wammC* goodacss ! vbose b«st vittoo 
\% to eooinit laaraw waA ki^iest aeerrry 
To hide bM bcr o«s am ; tbere's tbeir pei&cuoti 
And if sbe be so good, wbidmasf &il ol'ioo, 
When these ate lad, boo mednMU til aie they • 
—What conlbn n't to fi^ ma thb day's ftme, 
When an n^ " ■ 

• dq 8b ■«« saL a. ^ n 



Enter Ladt Aoer. 

Ladt Aoer. Blessings be firm to me ! he's come, 
'tis he ! — [Aside, 

A surgeon speedily ! 
Cap. Aoer. A surgeon ? why, madam ? 
Ladt Aoer. Perhaps you'll say 'tis but a little 
wound ; 
Good to prevent a danger : — quick, a surgeon ! 
Cap. Aoer. Why, madam ? 
Lady Aoer. Ay, ay, that's all the fault of valiant 
They'll not be known a' their hurts till they're past 

And then too late they wish for't. 
Cap. Aoer. Will you hear me ? 
Lady Ager. 'Tis no disparagement to confess a 
wound ; 
I'm glad, sir, 'tis no worse : — a surgeon quickly ! 

Cap. Ager. Madam 

Lady Aoer. Come, come, sir, a wound's honour- 
And never shames the wearer. 
Cap. Ager. By the justice 
I owe to honour, I came off untouch'd ! 
Lady Ager. I'd rather believe that. 
Cap. Ager. You believe truth so. 
Lady Ager. My tears prevail then. Welcome, 
welcome, sir. 
As peace and mercy to one new departed ! 
Why would you go though, and deceive me so, 
When my abundant love took all the course 
That might be to prevent it ? I did that 
For my affection's sake — goodness forgive me 

for't! — 
That were my own life's safety put upon't, 
I'd rather die than do't. Think how you us'd me then ; 

4 % 

^.^ 2r brtTs. 3iCasr ieaiti 

'f«v: iawe ic 111 ' 

r ^f^^ €Mi^ -nac ieeti :iiaL daima die 

7 «via^r a&e v> kju!^ aaci 2:ik 'cas, are doc valuable 

V .'%-'. %-; -4 r::;i^.i«33la^ bksizag of jonr tmtli : 

7 r^ ^ WA i//r al! deseru past and to come : 
l>t **rTft >^ tsuTfiherieM ; ihej arc rewarded^ 
A)r^if/ij i\t4fj'ft rewarded. Bless this frame, 
I f^^l It much too weak to bear the joy on't. 

|yA;/Y Agkr« Rise, sir. 

Cap. Aorr. O, pardon me! 
f ranriot honour you too much, too long. 
f knfT'J not only to a mother now, 


But to a woman that was never false : 
Ye're dear, and ye're good too ; I think a' that : 
What reverence does she merit ! 'tis fit such 
Should be distinguished from the prostrate sex ; 
And what distinction properer can be shewn, 
Than honour done to her that keeps her own ? 

Lady Ager. Come, sir, I'll have you rise. 

Cap. Aoer. To do a deed, then, [Rises, 

That shall for ever raise me. O my glory. 
Why, this, this is the quarrel that I look'd for ! 
The other ^ but a shift to hold time play. 
You sacred ministers of preservation, 
For heaven's sake send him life. 
And with it mighty health, and such a strength 
May equal but the cause ! I wish no foul things : 
If life but glow in him, he shall know instantly 
That I'm resolv'd to call him to account for't. 

Lady Ager. Why, hark you, sir 

Cap. Ager. I bind you by your honour, madam. 
You speak no hindrance to's ; take heed, you 
ought not. 

Lady Ager. What an unhappiness have I in 
goodness ! 
'Tis ever my desire to intend well. 
But have no fortunate way in't. For all this 
Deserve I yet no better of you 
But to be griev'd again ? Are you not well 
With honest gain of fame, with safety purchas'd ? 
Will you needs tempt a ruin that avoids you ? [Exit, 

Cap. Ager. No, you've prevail'd : things of this 
nature sprung. 
When they use action must use little tongue. — 

Enter Servant, 
Now, sir, the news ? 

• the other'i Old eds. " the tother." 


A tkt% QUaKUL. 

Sek. Sir, tbcK'a ■ gentlewanun 
DMina Mine confcrcoce with yon. 

Cap. Aai>. How, wiib me f 
A geBlWoMMii I whAt is ibe t 

Sim. Hfr aiicodaat 
Deliver'4 ber (o be tbe Colaai^*g st«ier. 

C*r. Acer. O. for n scoriD Uien ! [£*i/ SenuMT ' 
Itu, poor, virtDOas gpntlewomii, 
I will csidnre h«r riolencc wilh much pity '. 
She comet W emae her heut, good, noble soul ; 
Tu e'en > dwity to releSM ibe burden : 
Vttt not tbu reniedy ordvo'd for womra. 
Tbeir hearts would neret baid tliree yEars logether r 
And here she cocna; I never maik'd so tnach of 

Enter ColomeCt Sister. 
Tlui face can be the tnistrvn of no anger 
But 1 migbt rery well endure a monlb, methia| 
1 wa the man; *peak. lady; 111 stand fair, 
CoL.'i SisT. And I'm enjoin 'd by vow to iaA^ 



And from the dying hand of a repentant 
Offer, for expiatioa of wrongs done you. 
Myself, and with myself all that was his, 
Which upon that condition was made mine. 
Being his toul's wish to depart absolute man. 
In life a soldier, death a Christian- 

Cap. ActK. O, Iieaven has touch'd him i 
bow it shaiDM 
My virtue'* slow perfection! Rise, dear bri|;hta _ 
*I forget maaoers too— up, matchless sweetnesaf 
Cou's SisT. I must not, sir ; there is not in my 

That liberty; I must be reeeir'd first. 
Or all denied ; if either, I am free. 


Cap. Acer. He must be without soul should 
deny thee ; 
And with that reverence I receive the gifl 
As it was sent me. {_Raises her.'] Worthy Colonel, 
Has such a conquering way i' th* blest things ! 
Who ever overcomes, he only wins. lExeunt. 


A Street : a noise of " hem " within,^ 
Enter Captain Albo, Meo, and Priss. 

Meo. Hark of these hard-hearted bloodhounds f 
these butchers are e'en as merciless as their dogs ; 
they knock down a woman's fame e'en as it walks 
the streets by *em. 

Priss. And the captain here that should defend 
us walks by like John of the apple-lofl. 

Cap. Albo. What for interjections, Priss, Jiem, 
erax, vah ?^ let th e^carnifexes^ sc our their throats ! 
thou knowest there is a curse hangs over their 
bloody heads ; this year there shall be more 
butchers' pricks burnt than of all trades besides. 

Meo. I do wonder how thou camest to be a 

Cap. Albo. ^As thou camest to be a bawd,^ leg, 
^and Pri ss to be a whore ; every one by their de- 

Meg. Bawd and whore ? out, you unprofitable 

* a noUe of " hem ** within'] Compare p. 205, where Bellafront 
says that during her days of vice, when she appeared in the 
street, ** though with face mask'd/' she " could not scape the 

^ hem, evojt, vah] Latin interjections. 

< earntfexes] i. e. scoundrels — Lat cam{fex, a hangman, or 


k rAi« QCAaazt. 

nMoi t hast aol thov bem at At ntm ylnj y«(. U> 
Uach ibrc beUR nunnen ! Iml^ Aty tan 1IM7 Wc 
tlw finest pb^cn, and good i p—k cra of RaMl»- 
tromoi of otu tfo^ty ; bawd nd wImr ate* not 
muttioiMd Mi iong n 'en, bat tbe haa Jamfrt nar- 
rotr-BOOOtbed names ibey bare fbr uk, dat •one of 
tbim may tcnre ac weD for a tadjr ai l(« one of am 

Pkim. Prithw, patroana, iM's go mc a pteoe of 
that pUy: jf we tii* ll h ar*- J food wnrj * fr* MfT 
mongy. m a« much as we can d 

Wia. I doubt 'tis too late n 


Cai-. Auni 
icqufttntril v 

I go now, sweel Gice ; I am 
of the panuimimics ; the faa(- 
1; the Irish captain with respect ^and 
be boxed amonpat the betigt sort. 
. Sirrah cantaiDAIbo, 1 doubt yon are bat 
whiiC'hvcrttl ; look thai you defend u> valtantly, 
jrtiii kitow your penance else, — Patroness, you re* 
tneniWr how you used him once ? 

Meq. Ay, servant, and I shall nerer forg« it till 
1 UM him ao again. —Do you remember, captain! 

Cai-. Aldo, Mum, Meg; I will i 

Mm. How I aiid my AmaioiiE stnpt ; 

naked as an Inilian 

r\H. Albo. Why, Meg _ 

Mio. And then how I bound you to the g 

U-haviour in the op«i fields 

PatM. And then you strowed osts upon his hop- 


I *r. Albo. Prithee, aweet face — 


Priss. And then brought your ducks to nibble 
upon him. — You remember ? 

Cap. Albo. O, the remembrance tortures me 
again ! no more, good sweet face. 

Meg. Well, lead on, sir ; but hark a little* 

Enter Chough and Trimtrah. 

Chough. Didst thou bargain for the bladders 
with the butcher, Trim ? 

Trim. Ay, sir, I have 'em here ; I'll practise to 
swim too, sir, and then I may roar with the water 
at London Bridge : he that roars by land and by 
water both is the perfect roarer. 

Chough. Well, I'll venture to swim too : if my 
father-in-law ffives me a good dowry with his 
daughter, I shall hold up my head well enough. 

Trim. Peace, sir ; here's practice for our roaring, 
here's a centaur and two hippocrenes. 

Chough. Offer the jostle, Trim. 

[Tkimtkam jostles Captain Albo. 

Cap. Albo. Ha ! what meanest thou by that ? 

Trim. I mean to confront thee, cyclops. 

Chough. I'll tell thee what 'a means — is this thy 
sister ? 

Cap. Albo. How then, sir ? 

Chough. Why, then, I say she is a bronstrops ; 
and this is a fucus/ 

Priss. No, indeed, sir ; we are both fucusses. 

Cap. Albo. Art thou military ? art thou a sol- 
dier ? 

Chough. A soldier ? no, I scorn to be so poor ; 
I am a roarer. 

Cap. Albo. A roarer ? 

Trim. Ay, sir, two roarers. 

' bronttropt . . . fucus'} See notes, p. 508. 

IS6 A lAn «CA««tL. 

Cap. Also. Know, ifaea, injr fredi-waiCT friend*, 
that I am m capuin, 
Citocon. Vhu, tai have bit two to Krve nnda 

you I 

Cap. Alio. I am now rettiiag die Mi. 

Tarn. Ymi mi; *ec (hai bj his bag aad faa^age- 

Cuovmi. DcUfer up thy paaagKNt to n». 

TaiM. And nive mc Oij tuulkaa. 

Cap. Albo. Deliver? 

Meg. 1 pray you, cnptnin, be rooienied i tha 
g«mleiniiD^«<-«iijog iyc ii» very goodaiorda. 

'CltuVfiU.' GootT words ? ay, if yoo'coald oadct- 
■Und 'em ; the wordii cosi tnmty pound. 

Matt. What ia your pleasaie, gcntWoaen T 

Cnuunii. I would enucleate my fnictifer. 

Phdh. What aavG he, patroness? 

Mko. He woufil enoculate: I understaod the 
gentleman very piihily. 

C\r. Aluo. Sprolc, are yon gentle or plebeiao t 
can you give arms ? 

Ckouoii. Arms ? ay, lir ; you shall feel our arm* 

Trih. 'Sault you the womcii ; I'll pepper him ttU 
ho fliink* again : I perceive what countrymaa he is ; 
lot me uluni,- with him. 

Cap. Albo. Darest thou charge a capuio! 

CAr. Aliio. Toh7^ii5""poison to my country, the 
•lave hna eatrn pippins! O, shoot no morel turn 
Imih ihy broadsides rnther than thy poop ; 'tis foul 
' country brreda no poison. < I yield ; the 

le conditions. 

great C 

11 yiel 

■ mf cmtUru brtiJt no poinw] The cApuln't countiy a 
IrslinU I ■» aou, p. 177, 
> 7W*] WM.uerr - 

flitir. Mnfl tttv^t'ttiri^ii 


Chough. I have given one of 'em a fair fall, 

Trim. Then thus far we bring home conquest — 
Follow me, captain ; the cyclops doth command. 

Chough. Follow me, tweaks,^ the centaur doth 

Meg. Any thing, sweet gentlemen : wilPt please 
you to lead to the tavern, where we'll make all 
friends ? 

Trim. Why, now you come to the conclusion. 

Chough. Stay, Trim ; I have heard your tweaks 
are like your mermaids, they have sweet voices to 

Arthurtu Severus O Toole Nonesuch^ Mi, 80 — representing an 
old man in armour, carrying in his hand a sword ornamented 
with crowns, and having at bottom verses, 

" Great Moguls landlord, both Indies king," &c. 

It was prefixed to the first edition of a poem b y Taylor, 1622| 
To the Honour of the Noble Captaine O Toole, which is repnntei 
in the water-poet's WV^^lgSO. In this ironical panegyric 
his exploits against'tfie Irish rebels are celebrated ; 

*' Thou shewdst thy selfe a doughty wight at Dublin : 
When Irish Rebells madly brought the trouble in, 
At Baltimore, Kinsale, at Corke and Yoghall," &c. 

But his own country was not the only one in which O Toole 
figured ; he served as a volunteer, and displayed his courage 
and absurdities in various parts of Europe. The Argument to 
the poem just quoted informs us, that his " Youth was Dedi- 
cated to Mars and his Age to Westminster, which ancient 
Cittie is now honour*d with his beloued Residance." 
* tweaks] Equivalent to punks : 

" A rare sense-seazing Tweake.*' 

Brathwait's Honegt Ghost, 1658, p. 95, 

in which work the word also occurs at pp. 110, 111, 173, 262. 
Brome uses it in a very different sense : " O they are a brace 
of subtle dry Tweakes" [i. e. whoremongers], says Careless, 
speaking of Thrivewell and Saveall, — A Mad Couple weU 
matched, tig. E 2, {Fiue New Playes,) 1653. 


entice the passengers : let's faaTe s song, and then 
well set 'em at liberty. 

TuM. In the commendation of roariag, not else, 

Crouoh. Ay, in the commendation of roaring. 
Meo. The beat we can, gentlemen. 

[_Sijtgt, Prms joining m chanu. 
Then here thou shall reiign 

Both captain and commander; 
That name mat never thine, 

But apple-tquiref and pander ; 
And hetKe/orth will we grant. 

In pillage or in monies, 
In clothing or provant,'' 

Whate'er wc get by conies : 
IVilh a hone, a hone, a hone. 

No cheaters nor decoys 
Shall have a share, but alone 
The bravest roaring boys. 
Whate'er we get by gulU 

Of country or of city, 
Oldjlat-caps^ or young heirs, 
Or lawyers' clerks so witty ; 
By sailors newly landed, 

Topul infoT fresh waters; 
By wandering gander-mooners,"' 
Or muffled late night-walkers. 
With a hone, ^c. 
> apple-iquirc] See note, p. 232. 
^ pravani] i. e. provendrr, proviaion. 
' fial-captj See note, p. 5B. 

" gander-moBneri] i, e. married ffallants — " Gander-vionth, 
thai month in which a man's wife lies in," &c. Sec. GroM'i 
Clot. Diet, qflht Vulgar Tatgue. 

" I'le keep her al the leact this Gandtr-moiulh, 
While my fail wife lies in," &c 
Brome'a EngtUh-lioor, p. iO— Fine Nik Plagti, 1659. 


Whatt'er m get by Mtrangert, 
The Scotch, the Dutch, or IrUh, 

Ot, to come nearer home. 
By nuutert of the parith ; 

It it cmcljidedJ ' 
g all and e\ 

With a hone, ^c. 

Chouoh. Melodious minotaur ! 

Tuu. Haraionious hippocrene I 

Chough. Sweet-breaBted" bronstrops! 

Trim. Most tunable tweak ! 

Chodok. Delicious duplar t 

Tbix. Pulrefactious panagron ! 

Chouoh. Calumnious calicut ! 

Trim. And most singular sindicus ! 

Meo. We shall never be able to deserve these 
good words at your hands, gentlemen. 

Cap. Albo. Shake golls" with the captain; he 
shall be thy faliant friend. 

Chouoh. Not yet, captain ; we must make an 
end of our roaring first. 

Trim. We'll serve 'em as we did the tobacco- 
man, lay a curse upon 'em ; marry, we'll lay it on 
gently, because they hare used us so kindly, and 
then we'll shake golls° together. 

PniBS. As gently as you can, sweet gentlemen. 

Ohocgh. For thee, O pander, mayst thou trudge 
till the damned soles of thy boots fleet into dirt, 
but never rise into air ! 

Tbim. Next, mayst thou fleet so long from place 
to place, till thou be'st kicked out of Fleet Street ! 

' tvtel- bitatled'\ L e. aweet-Toiced. 
■ geUt\ See note, p. 23. 


Ciiotcu. As thou haat lived by bad £esb, so 
rotten mutton be thy bane I 

Trim. When thou art dead, may twenty nhorei 
Toltow ihee, that thou mayst go a squire" to thy 
grave ! 

Caf. Also. Enough for me, sweet faces ; let me 
sleep in my prave. 

Chouciu. For thee, old aindicus, may I see ibee' 
ride in a caroch with two wheels, and draiFD with 
one horse ! 

Trim. Tenbeadles running by, insteadoffootmenl 

Chouoh. With every one a whip, 'stead of an 
Irish dart !'! 

Taiu. Forty barbers' basins' sounding before, in- 
stead of trumpets ! 

Meg. This will be comely indeed, sweet gentle- 

Trim. Thy ruff starched yellow" with rotten e^i! 
Chough. And mayst thou then be drawn from 
Holborn to Hounslow Heath ! 

p. 238. 

i/(Klmen . . . Irish dart] See nole, p 131. An Maaoa 
10 the dans carried by the Iiish running footmen occun >t 
p. 176. In Field's Amevd! for Ladiei, 1618 (reprinted b; 
Mr. Collier in a supple men laiy volume to Dodsley's OldPUtyi), 
is a sCage-direclion, " Enter Maid, like oh Iriih/oel-bog wilk 
a dart," acl ii. Bc. 3, where ihe editor observes, ■' the dan . . . 
wai perhaps intended as an indication of the country from 
which Ibey catne, as being pert of the accoutrements of the 
native Irish ; thus, in the description of the dumb-shew pre- 
ceding act ii. of The lUiifarlxnri of Arthur, we find the follow- 
ing passage ; < after which there came a man bare-hesded, 
with long black ahagged hair down to his shoulders, apparelled 
with an Irish Jacket and shirt, having an Irish dagger by his 
side, and a ilarl in his hand.' " 

■ barbir'i basini] See nole, p. 238. 

' r!.ff ilarched yellou] See note, p. 422. 


Trim. And then be burnt to Colebrook, for de- 
stroying of Maidenhead ! 

Meg. I will study to deserve this kindness at 
your hands, gentlemen. 

Chough. Now for thee, little fucus ; mayst thou 
first serve out thy time as a tweak, and then be- 
come a bronstrops,^ as she is I 

Trim. Mayst Uiou have a reasonable good spring, 
for thou art like to have many dangerous foul falls ! 

Chough. Mayst thou have two ruffs tnm \r\ npe 
*" Trim. May spiders only weave thy cobweb-lawn! 

Chough. Mayst thou set up in Rogue-lane — 

Trim. Live till thou stinkest in Garden-alleys — 

Chough. And die sweetly in Tower-ditch ! 

Priss. I thank you for that, good sir roarer. 

Chough. Come, shall we go now, Trim? my 
father-in-law stays for me all this while. 

Trim. Nay, I'll serve 'em as we did the tobacco- 
man ; ril bury 'em altogether, and give 'em an 

Chough. All together, Trim ? why, then, the 
epitaph will be accessary to the sin. 

Trim. Alas, he has kept the door all his life-time ! 
for pity, let 'em lie together in their graves." 

Cap. Albo. E'en as thou wilt. Trim, and I thank 
you too, sir. 

Trim. He that the reason would know, let him hark^ 
Why these three'' were buried near Maryhone Park ; 
These three were a pander ^ a bawd, and a whore. 
That sucked many dry to the bones before. 

* tweak . . . bronttrops'] See notes, pp. 508, 527. 

* Alas, he hat . . . their graves'] Forms part of Chough's 
speech in old eds. — kept the door, i. e. been a pander. 

' three] Old eds. " two." 


Will you know horv they liv'd ? here't may be rtai; 

The Lorv Cmintriei did evtr find 'em ttread: 

They liu'd by Flushing, bu Sluyt, and the Grojnt, 

Sicken'd in France, and died under the Lint. 

Three Utters at latt coimnended 'em hilker. 

But the hangman broke one in putting tagrther : 

P was the first, mho cries oat for a pardon, 

O craves his book, yet coJild not read such a hard am. 

An X nias the last, which in conjunction 

Wat broke by Brandon t* and here's the ^tmeUuvm : 

By three trees, three letters, these three, pander, baxi. 

Now ttink below ground, slunk long abore before- 

Chouob. So, non we have done with you; if> 
member roaring bay a. 

Trim. Farewell, cenlaur! 

Ciwi'uit. Farewell, bronstrops! 

Trim. Farewell, fucus! 

[^Eieunt CiiovGH and Trihtbam. 

Cap. Albo. Well, Meg, I will leara to roar, and 
still maintain the name of captain over these lance- 

Meo. If thou dost not, mayst thou be buried 
under tlie roaring curse ! [^Exenitt. 

' Arandon] From a tract dated 1649, and eotitled Tie JLoiI 

Will and TfilamnI of Richard Brandm, &c. (Ibe execudantr 
e beheaded King Charles ihe Fim ; 

e Ellis's UlUri III. of Engl. Hitl. vol. iU. p. 341, Srtoud 
Ties), we learn chm " he was ihe only son of Grejpiry - B™ - 
md claimed ihe Gallows by inheritance," p. 7. Re 

~ liraildan meniioned in the text was probabi v Ij rq p>r y. 

~ lancepTeta4rift\ i. e. the lowest oflicera oi foot, under the 
corporals ; see Nares's Glais. in v. Lanctjittado (for Ihe ward 
ia variouily written), and my nole on Websler't Workt, to), ii- 

cf. N/- 



A Roam in Russell's House. 

Enter Physician^ and Jane dressed as a hride. 

Phy. Will you be obstinate ? 

Jane. Torment me not, 
Thou lingering executioner to death, 
Greatest disease to nature, j feat striv st by art 
T o make men long a-dying^ ! your practice i s I Pi<>tU 
Up on mens Dodies ; as me nj fiill roser, S ^ I 

Tor their own relish, but to kilTthe flower. \ /yr?ni '^^ 

^olyfllLinaia ^in your lives by others * fj^atlig : \ ^ 

*W hat eat you then but^ carnonT ) ^S^''^'^ 

Phy. Fie, bitterness ! ^ »fV>ec***^**' 

Ye*d need to candy o'er your tongue a little, ^f l s-r 

Your words will hardly be digested else. i;^ 

Jane .^ Ycu L-CaO^g ive yourself a von^jt to retur n ^ fU ^'^^ 

Ifjlj ey offend your stomach. ^ 7^*f 

' '~ Phy. hear my vow ;" 
You are * to be married to-day 

Jane. A second torment. 
Worse than the first, 'cause unavoidable ! 
I would I could as soon annihilate 
My father's will in that as forbid thy lust ! 

Phy. If you then tender an unwilling hand, 
Meet it with revenge, marry a cuckold. 

Jane. If thou wilt marry me, I'll make that vow. 
And give my body for satisfaction 
To him that should enjoy me for his wife. 

Phy. Go to ; I'll mar your marriage. 

Jane. Do ; plague me so : 
I'll rather bear the brand of all that's past, 

" but] Old eds. " by." 

' You are, &c.] Ed. 1622 hat " You that are," &c. 




In capital characters upon my brow, 
Than think to be thy tvliore or marry htm. 
Pht. I will defame thee ever 

Phv. I will produce thy bastardi 
Bring thee to public penance 

Jake. No matter. I care not ; 
I shall then tiave a clean sheet ; I'll wear tnentjr, 
Rather than one de6rd with thee. 

PiiY. Look for revenge I 

Jane. Pursue it fully then.— Out of his haie 
I shall escape,!' I hope, a loathed fate. 

{^Atide, and etit. 

Phy. Am I rejected, all my baits nibbled off, . 
And not the fish caught? I'll trouble the whole 

And choke it in the niiid : since hooks not lake, 
I'll throw in nets that shall or kill or break. 

Enter Thimtham with rosemary.' 
This is the bridegroom's roan. — Hark, sir, a word- 

Trim. 'Tis a busy day, sir, nor I need no physic ; 
You see I scour about my business. 

Phy. Pray you, a word, ! 
be married to-day? 

Trim. Else all this rosemary's 

Phy. I would speak with yoi 

Trim. My master, sir, is to be married this 
morning, and cannot be within while* soon at night 

Phy. If you will do your master the best service 
That e'er you did him ; if he shall not curse 
Your negligence hereafter slacking it ; 
If he shall bless me for the dearest friend 

: your master is ti 
s lost. 


That ever his acquaintance met withal ; 
Let me speak with him ere he go to church. 

Trim. A right physician ! , you would have non e 
go to the church nor churchyard till you sen^ jySEih 
th ither ; well, it' death do not spare you yourselves, 
he deals hardly with you, for you are better bene- 
factors and send more to him than all diseases 

Chough [fvithin]. What, Trimtram, Trimtram ! 

Trim. I come, sir. — Hark you, you may hear 
him ! he's upon the spur, and would fain mount the 
saddle of matrimony ; but, if I can. Til persuade 
him to come to you. 

Phy. Pray you, do, sir. [^Exit Trimtram.] — I'll 
teach all peevish niceness^ 
To beware the strong advantage of revenge. 

Enter Chough. 

Chough. Who's that would speak with me ? 

Phy. None but a friend, sir ; I would speak with 

Chough. Why, sir, and I dare speak with any 
man under the universe. Can you roar, sir ? 

Phy. No, in faith, sir ; 
I come to tell you mildly for your good, 
If you please to hear me : you are upon marriage ? 

Chough. No, sir ; I am towards it, but not upon 
it yet. 

Phy. Do you know what you do ? 

Chough. Yes, sir, I have practised what to do 
before now ; I would be ashamed to be married 
else j^ I l^ave seen a bronstrops in my time, and a 
hippocrene, and a tweak too. 

Phy. Take tair heed, sir ; the wife that you 
would marry 
Is not fit for you. 

^ petviih nicenett] i e. foolish scrupuloutness. 




CnoDou. Why, sii 

Pht. Not I, belie 
She has been tried. 

Chough. Why, sii . 

PuY. AU that I speak^ sirTis Innove to you ; 
Your bride, that may be, has not tliat portion 
That a bride should have. 

Chough. Why, sir, she has a Uiouutod and > 
better penny. 

PuY. I do not sp«Bk of rubbish, dross, snd ore. 
But the refined metal, honour, sir. 

Chovou. What she wants in honour shall be nuulc 
up in worship, sir ; money will purchase both. 

Put. To be plain with you, she's naught. 

CuotTOH. If thou canst not roar, thou'rt a deail 
man! mv bride naught! [Dranmg hit mvri 

PiiY. Sir. I do not fear you that «-ay ; ■*hu I 
speak {^J}rafving hit tword. 

My life shall maintain ; I say she is naught. 

CHOtCH. Dost thou not fear me? 

Pitv. Indeed 1 do not, sir. 

Chough. I'll never draw upon thee while I lite 
and speak freely, 
laed bride is a whore ; that's 

CuoircK. Yes, faith, a whore's free enough, and'' 
she hath a conscience : is she a whore ? foot, I war- 
rant she has the pox then. 

Phy. Worse, the plague ; 'tis more incurable. 

Chouou. a plaguy whore ? a pox on her. III 
none of her ! 

Fiiv. Mine accusation shall have firm evident^; 
I will produce an unavoided witness, 
A bastard of her bearing. 

Chough. A bastard ? 'snails, there's great sus- 

'' a„d^i.e.iL 

teU M 


picion she's a whore then ! Til wrestle a fall with 
her father for putting this trick upon me, as I am 
a gentleman. 

Phy. Good sir, mistake me not ; I do not speak 
To break the contract of united hearts ; 
I will not pull that curse upon my head, * 

To separate the husband and the wife ; 
But this, in love, I thought fit to reveal, 
As the due office betwixt man and man. 
That you might not be ignorant of your ills. 
Consider now of my premonishment 
As yourself shall please. 

Chough. I'll burn all the rosemary to sweeten 
the house, for, in my conscience, 'tis infected : has 
she drunk bastard 1^ j£. she , w ould piss me wine* 
vin egar now nine times a-day, Td never have her, 
an9T thank you too. 

Re-enter Trimtram. 

Trim. Come, will you come away, sir ? they have 
all rosemary, and stay for you to lead the way. 

Chough. Til not be married to-day, Trimtram : 
hast e'er an almanac about thee ? this is the nine- 
teenth of August, look what day of the month 'tis. 

Trim. 'Tis tenty-nine^ indeed, sir. 

[^Looks in an almanac. 

Chough. What's the word ? * what says Bretnor ? ^ 

^ bastard"] See note, p. 45. 

^ lenty-nine'] i. e. ten and nine. — Perhaps it is unnecessary 
to remark, that what Chough has just said, " this is the nine- 
teenth of August, look what day of the month 'tis," is in- 
tended to exhibit the confusion of his ideas. 

** ifie wordi i. e. the motto, or short sentence, annexed to 
each day. 

' Bretnor"} This person was a celebrated pretender to sooth- 
saying and an almanac-maker : see Giffbrd's note on B. Jon- 
son's Devil is an Ass — Works, vol. v. p. 17. He is again men- 
tioned in our author's Inner Temple Masque. 


Kiiv.ix. ..- jyii jryi* «£* lai son 

I - KlOlt V, T Ml* t > ■WTMft- .^'■' ftjlil-iwi 

C.-U7I ? 
Chv^'.£. Cxse I fr«ii die Hotini* to be coo- 

B'.t. H'jw't that, lir T 

Cb'/^'-.h. C«ck*t tbon rtnr, old nun? 

Krt. R/ju? bow mean tod, lir? 

Ch'^'.h. Whr, tbeo, ill uU thee plainly, thy 
djiufihurr is a bromtrop*. 

Hi I. A broMlrops? wbat't that, >irT 

Trim. Sir, ifahe be to, she is a bippocrene. 

Ch<ii;oh. Nay, worse, she is a fructifer. 

Tkim. Nay, then, she is a fucus, a minotaur, and 
a tweak. 

' anil] i. e. iC 

■ <*c JfMHf] See Dou, p. M2. 


Ru8. Pray you, speak to my understanding, sir. 

Chough. If thou wilt have it in plain terms, she 
is a callicut and a panagron. 

Trim. Nay, then, she is a duplar and a sindicus. 

Rus. Good sir, speak English to me. 

Chouoh. All this is Cornish to thee ; I say thy 
daughter has drunk hastard^ in her time. 

Rus. Bastard ? you do not mean to make her a 
whore ? 

Chough. Yes, hut I do, if she make a fool of 
me ; 1*11 ne'er make her my wife till she have her 
maidenhead again. 

Rus. A whore ? I do defy this calumny. 

Chough. Dost thou ? I defy thee then. 

Trim. Do you, sir ? then I defy thee too : fight 
with us both at once in this quarrel, if thou darest ! 

Chough. I could have had a whore at Plymouth. 

Trim. Ay, or at PeVyn.* 

Chough. Ay, or under the Mount. 

Trim. Or as you came, at Ivel.^ 

Chough. Or at Wookey-Hole'^ in Somersetshire. 

Trim. Or at the Hanging-stones in Wiltshire. 

Chough. Or at Maidenhead in Berkshire : and 
did I come in by Maidenhead, to go out by Staines ? 
O, that man, woman, or child, would wrestle with 
me for a pound of patience ! 

Rus. Some thief has put in poison at your ears. 
To steal the good name of my child from me ; 
Or if it be a malice of your own. 
Be sure I will enforce a proof from you. 

Chough. He's a goose and a woodcock that says 
I will not prove any word that I speak. 

^ bastartf] See note, p. 45. 

* Pe'ryn] i. e. Penryn. 

1 Ivel] Or Yeovil. Old eds. '* Euill." 

^ Wookey-HoU] Old eds. <* Hoc-kye hoU:* 

Triic. Ay, either gooso or woodcock ; he ihiil. , 
lir, with any man. 
CnouoH. Phy-Hi-ei-an ! xaaux avei physician!' 
Rus. Is be the author r 

Re-enltr Physician. 
Par. Sir, with much sorrow for your *iatni>\ i 

I must deliver this moat certain truth ; 

Your daughter is an honour-staint'd bride. 

Indeed ilie is the mother to a child 

Before the lawful wife unto a husband. i 

Choucu. La, that's worse than I told thee ; I hiJ I 
she had borne a bastard, and he says she wif the 
mother on'i too. I 

Res. I'm yet an infidel against all this, 
' .".And will helie^ t h_e au nj 8 made of brass. 

CHOtTCiH. An d the mo on of a Holl and cheese^ 
Rus, ltather"tiiarrthi6 impoialBnTEy; ^ 
O, here she comes. 

Re-enter Jane mitk Anke. 
Nay come, daughter, stand at the bar of shame ; 
Either now quit thyself, or kill me ever ; 
Your marriage-day is spoil'd, if all be true. 

Jane. A happy misery! who's my accuser? 

Pht. I am, that knows it true I apeak. 

Chough. Yes, and I'm his witness. 

Trim. And I. 

Chouoh. And I again. 

Tkim. And I again too ; there's four, that's enougb 

Rus. How can you witness, sir, that nothing kno* 
But what you have receiv'd from his report T 

I Manx aett] 1* tbii Comish t 


Chough. Must we not believe our physicians? 
pray you, think I know as much as every fool does. 

Trim. Let me be Trim tram, I pray you too, sir. 

Jane. Sir, if this bad man have laid a blemish 
On my white name, he is a most false one, 
Defaming me for the just denial 
Of his foul lust. — Nay, now you shall be known, sir. 

Amne. Sir, Vm his sister, and do better know him 
Than all of you : give not too much belief 
To his wild words ; he's oftentimes mad, sir. 

Phy. I thank you, good sister ! 

Anme. Are you not mad 
To do this office ? fie upon your malice ! 

Phy. I'll presently produce both nurse and child, 

Whose very eyes shall call her mother before it 

speaks. \_Exit. 

Chough. Ha, ha, ha, ha ! by my troth, Fd spend 
a shilling on that condition to hear that : I think in 
my conscience I shall take the physician in a lie ; 
if the child call her mother before it can speak, I'll 
never wrestle while I live again. 

Trim. It must be a she child if it do, sir ; and 
those speak the soonest of any living creatures, they 

Chough. Baw, waw! a dog will bark a month 
sooner ; he's a very puppy else. 

Rus. Come, tell truth 'twixt ourselves ; here's 
none but friends : 
One spot a father's love will soon wipe off; 
The truth, and the[reb]y try my love abundant ; 
I'll cover it with all the care I have. 
And yet, perhaps, make up a marriase-day. 

Jane. Then it's true, sir, I have aJ child. 

Rus. Hast thou ? 

J a'] So ed. 1622. Not in first ed. 
VOL. III. 3 A 

try my wiU for thee. — Richaxd, FraucU, Andiew! 
None of my knaves within t 

Enter Serrant. 

Se&. Here's one of 'em, air : the guests come 
in space. 

Rib. Do they, DJck f let 'em have wine and 
sugar;' we'll be for 'era presently; but huk, 
Dick. IfThupcT* SeruaU. 

Citovr.n. ] long to hear this child speak, i'fkilk. 
Trim ; 1 would this foolish physician would cont 

TaiM. If it calls her mother, I hope it shall never 
chII you father. 

CiiuuRU. No ; and" it do, I'll whip it, i'fatlh, anil 
give thee leave to whip me. 

Rvs. Run on iliy best leg*. Dick. 

Sir. I'll he here in a twinkling, sir. [£xiL 

Re-enlmr Phyic'ian, irilh Dutch Nurte md dutd. 

Pht. Now, gentlemen, beliere your eyca, if not 
My tongue. — Do not you call this your child 1 

CiioucH. Phew, that's not the point! you pro- 
mised us the child should call her mother ; if it 
does this month, I'll ne'er go lo the roaring- school 

, o he to me reader). 
[^PiiittU to the phfiieimi. 
Cbocgh. 'SnaiU, she's the phys' ' * ' 

iramdngar'j Fonnerl}^ lugir 


Trim. His fucus, his very tweak, iTaith. . — ^ 

Cwnnaw. A gliatAr iy ) hjs teeth ! let him take her, 
with a purgation to him ! 

Rus. 'Tis as your sister said, you are stark mad, 
This much confirms it ; you have defamed 
Mine honest daughter ; I'll have you punish'd for't, 
Besides the civil penance of your sin, 
And keeping of your bastard. 

Pht. This is fine ! 
All your wit and wealth must not thus carry it, 

Rus. Sir Chough, a word with you. 

Chough. 1*11 not have her, i'faith, sir ; if Trim- 
tram will have her, and^ be will, let him. 

Trim. Who, I, sir ? I scorn it : if you'll have 
her, ril have her too ; I'll do as you do, and no 

Rus. I do not mean't to either ; this only, sir, 
That whatsoe'er you've seen, you would be silent ; 
Hinder not my child of another husband. 
Though you forsake her. 

Chough. I'll not speak a word, i'faith. 

Rus. As you are a gentleman f 

Chough. By these basket-hilts, as I am a yoilth, 
a gentleman, a roarer. 

Rus. Charm" your man, I beseech you, too. 

Chough. I warrant you, sir, he shall do nothing 
but what I do before him. 

Rus. I shall most dearly thank you. — 

Re-enter Servant with Fitzallen. 

O, are you come ? 
Welcome, son-in-law ! this was beyond your hope : 
We old men have pretty conceits sometimes ; 

1 and"] i. e. if. 

■ charm] i. e. make silent (as if by a strong charm). 


T,'" '"I" 'no, 

^ "an had it 

f'«- A ,1 

"""• golJed „ 
J,""- Rem. 



Rus. Good sir 

Chough. [Wn^«] Behold a baby of this maids &e- 

Trim, [sings] A deed of darkness after the «tm- 

Rus. Your oath, sir ! 
Chough, [sings'] I swear and sing thy bride has 

taken physic. 
Trim, [sings] This was the doctor cur*d her of that 

Chough, [sings] IfyouHl believe me, I will say no 

Trim, [sings] Thy bride*s a tweak, as we do say 

that roar. 
Chough. Bear witness, gentlemen, I have not 
spoke a word ; my hilts are whole still. 

FiTZ. This is a sweet epithalamium 
Unto the marriage-bed, a musical, 
Harmonious lo ! Sir, you have wrong*d me, 
And basely wrong*d me! was this your cunning 

To fetch me out of prison, for ever to marry me 
Unto a strumpet ? 

Rus. None of those words, good sir ; 
'Tis but a fault, and 'tis a sweet one too. 
Come, sir, your means is short ; lengthen your for- 
With a fair proffer : Fll put a thousand pieces 
Into the scale, to help her to weigh it up, 
Above the first dowry. 

FiTz. Ha? you say well ; 
Shame may be bought out at a dear rate ; 
A thousand pieces added to her dowry ! 

Rus. There's five hundred of 'em to make the 
bargain ; [Gives money. 

• tU» 9XMMMMk 

Fm. Vow 

A Mid to « firM itOBiMd Ibr her down-, 
T» &ik« ikst duU. 

Phy. O, b it mit BOW I 

Chocqk. Fo* I'odwf ilwwnd PU do't nty wlf yet. 

Tmv. Or I. ifin; nuUY i>i]l. 

FtTx. TW iMrxsiD's mwlF, lir : I Kave the toda 
Ab4 pniirwiri both, ud will keep my pMttchaae. 

CBorna. T*lw ker e'ln lo van iriili all ker taan- 
abfea; 111 wear ny bachelor's boiiooi sull. 

TuM. So wDi I, i'&itli ; tbey arc tli« best Sowtn 
to aay maa't gvilMi. aexl la burt'v-ease. 

Ftrx. Thii ■• M wrkome a* die other, sir. 
And both a* (be best bliss tiiat e'er on eartli 
I ibaQ nijaj. Sir, this is mine own ckitd ; 
Ym could DDi hare foimcl out a fitter fatber 
Xor tt it basely breil, u you irusginc. 
For wc were wedded by the hand of beaven 
Ere this work was begun. 

Cwocci t. At Pancridg e,'' I'll lay mv life i 

Trim, ni lay my lileTnTt loo. 'i 

Fits. Somewhere it was, sir. 

Rub. Waa'tso, i'faith, son? 

Jaki. And that 1 must have reveai'd to 
Ere I had gone to church with thia fair groom;' 
But, thank this genikman, he prevented ■* me. — 
I am much bound unto your molice, sir. 

" Paiuridgil A coTTuptioD of Paxcrai : 
Diuit knpe sloofe at Panrredgr, and cson 
HbertUt," &c. Null'! Pirnv PtmiUut, a 

a there. 


Pry. I am asham*d. 

Jane. Shame to amendment then. 

Rus. Now get you together for a couple of cun- 
ning ones ! 
But, son, a word ; the latter thousand pieces 
Is now more than bargain. 

FiTz. No, by ray faith, sir. 
Here's witness enough on it ; it must serve 
To pay my fees, imprisonment is costly. 

Chough. By ray troth, the old man has gulled 
himself finely ! Well, sir, Til bid myself a guest, 
though not a groom ; FU dine, and dance, and roar 
at the wedding for all this. 

Trim. So will I, sir, if my master does. 

Rus. Well, sir, you're welcome: but now, no 
more words on't 
Till we be set at dinner, for there will mirth 
Be the most useful for digestion : 
See, my best guests are coming. 

Enter Lady Aoer, CohneVs Sister, Captain Aoer, 
his two Friends, and Surgeon, 

Cap. Aoer. Recovered, sayst thou ? 

SuRO. May I be excluded quite out of Surgeons* 
Hall else ! marry, I must tell you the wound was 
fain to be twice corroded ; 'twas a plain gastrolophe,^ 
and a deep one; but I closed the lips on't with 
bandages and sutures,'' which is a kind' conjunc- 
tion of the parts separated against the course of 

Cap. Ager. Well, sir, he is well. 

< gasirolophe] Probably a misprint for ** gastroraphe :" see 
the quotation from Sharp's Surgery in Todd's Johnson's Diet, 
▼. Gastroraphy." 

* tuturesj Old eds. " surteures." 

• kind] Ed. 1622 ** kind of"— wrongly, I believe. 

Stia. 1 Semnd kim, I xMon yoa, captain; K 
ihr •aUR m tbr belly, it gnw aJnwst ti __ 

vi^MB, a»d tbcn wu like to be a bloodjr is 
btm llir holknr vcawb of the kidneys. 

C*y. Auk. Tbm'a that, to ihank thy nem and 
thy mn logexher. [(?irr« Ann nwHinr. 

Stks. And if your i»«nkip at any time luod in 
and of iBciMoa, if it be yoar fortune lo ligbi into 
my haada. Til (tive you the best. 

Cat. Acta. Uocle, tbe noble Colonel's recovu'd. 

RtM. ReooTcr'd! 
Tbcn hoaotir is not dead in alt |>and, roz. 

Enter CoUmd mJ two FritmU. 
Fmri Fe. ot Cxr. Bc-bald bim yoader, sir. 
C*F- AaCK. My much unwottliinMS 
la now found owl ; tiiou'n Dot a face to lit it. 
FikST Fa. or Col. Sir, yondi^r's captain A^r. 
Col. O lietitenanl, 
The wrot^ I've done his fame puts me to ailence; * 
Sbame so confounds tne, thai I dare not see It' 
CxF. AoER. I never ktiew how poor tny d 
Till he appear'd ; no way to give requital ! 
Here shame me lastingly, do't with hii ovr 
Rciuni this to him; tdl him I have richea 
In that abundoDce in his sister's love, 
These come but to oppress me, and cunfounw 
Ail my deservings everlastingly ; 
I never shall requite my wealtb in her, say. 

[Giving irill to kit friend, irho deliwrs it to 
l/te Colonei. 
How soon from virtue and an honoar'd spirit 
May man receiv-e what he may never merit ! 
Col. This comes most happily, to express I 
better ; 


For since this will was made, there fell to me 
The manor of Fitzdale ; give him that too ; 

[^Returning will with other papers. 
He's like to have charge, 
There's fair hope of my sister's fruitfulness : 
For me, I never mean to change my mistress, 
And war is ahle to maintain her servant. 

First Fr. of Cap. Read there ; a fair increase, 
sir, by my faith ; 
He hath sent it back, sir, with new additions. 

Cap. Ager. How miserable he makes me ! this 
enforces me 
To break through all the passages of shame. 
And headlong fall 

Col. Into my arms, dear worthy ! 

Cap. Ager. You have a goodness 
Has put me past my answers ; you may speak 
What you please now, I must be silent ever. 

Col. This day has shewn me joy's unvalu'd^ 
treasure ; 
I would not c hange t his broth erhood with a monarch ; 

Has plac'd m y kinsman, an d given h im hia pnda : 
F air be that quarrel makes such happy friends ! 

lExeunt omnes, 

* unvalu'd] i. e. invaluable. 






Lard Cardial <^ Milan. 
Ljictantio, Ail ntphtiti. 
ANDmooio, gtneral rf Milaa. 
Father lo AtatUa. 
Govtmar of tbt/vrU 
DoNDOLO, itTwmt tB Loctmttu. ^ 

Crotchet, a ringhig-maittr. 
SiNQDArACE, a daneing-maiier. 
NIC ■ ■ 

Duchttl ^ Milan. 

Celia, htr tvaitimg-tiiomtm. 

Page, L<Kta»ta'i miitrta M iitgaiu. 

Scene, Milan and the neighbourhood. 





A Street, 

Enter Lactantio, Aurelia, and Servant, 

Sang within. 

To be chaste is woman's glory, 
*Tis her fame and honour's story: 
Here sits she in funeral weeds, 
Only bright in virttums deeds ; 
Come and read her life and praise, 
That singing weeps, and sighing plays, 

Lac. Welcome, soul's music ! I've been listening 
To melancholy strains from the duchess' lodgings ; 
That strange great widow, that has vow'd so stiffly 
Ne'er to know love's heat in a second husband : ^^-^ 
Andja he has kept the fo rt.rop8t_yaliantly» iX*^*^ r 

To th' wonder of her sex, this seven year's day, ^^ -^ ^ 
And that*s no sorry trial. A month's constancy ^c^"**^ m j 
Is held a virtue in a city-widow ; i yC ^ 

And are they excell'd by so much more i* th* court •*'''. ^ ^ 
My faith, a rare example for our wives ! i ,^^,'^^ , 



Heaven's blessing of ^ her heart for it ! poor soul, 
She had need have somewhat to comfort her. 
What wouldst thou do, faith, now, 
If I were dead, suppose I were thy husband. 
As shortly I will be, and that's as good ? 
Speak freely, and** thou lov'st me. 

AuR. Alas, sir, 
I should not have the leisure to make vows ; 
For dying presently, I should be dead 
Before you were laid out ! 

Lac. Now fie upon thee for a hasty dier ! 
Wouldst thou not see me buried ? 

AuR. Talk not on*t, sir, 
These many years, unless you take delight 
To see me swoon, or make a ghost of me. 

Lac. Alas, ^oor soul ! Til kiss thee into colour : 
Canst thou paint pale so quickly ? I perceive then 
Thou*dst go beyond the duchess in her vow, 
Thou*dst die indeed. What's he ? 

AuR. Be settled, sir ; 
Spend neither doubt nor fear upon that fellow : 
Health cannot be more trusty to man's life 
Than he to my necessities in love. 
^' Lac. I take hi m of th yijyord, and pr aise his face, 
1 Though heTbok scurvily ^ IlLthinkJiereafter 
I That nqnesty may waUtlj^rith^re ioi jiose, 
\As well as brave desert in broken clothes : 
^ut for thy further safely, Fve provided 
A shape, that at first sight will start thy modesty. 
And make thee blush perhaps, but 'twill away 
After a qualm or two. Virginity 
Has been put often to those shifts before thee 
Upon extremities ; a little boldness 
Cannot be call'd immodesty, especially 

• o/] i. e. on : so a little after, " I take him rfthy word." 
^ and] i. e. if. 


When there's no means without it for our safeties. 

Thou know'st my uncle, the lord cardinal, 

Wears so severe an eye, so strict and holy, 

It not endures the sight of womankind 

Ahout his lodgings : 

Hardly a matron of fourscore's admitted ; 

Though she he worn to gums, she comes not there 

To mumhle matins ; all his admiration 

Is plac'd upon the duchess ; he likes her, 

Because she keeps her vow and likes not any ; 

So does he love that man ahove his hook 

That loves no woman : for my fortune's sake then. 

For I am like to he his only heir, 

I must dissemble, and appear as fair 

To his opinion as the brow of piety ; 

As void of all impureness as an altar : 

Thine ear [whispers] ; that, and we're safe. 

AuR. You make me blush, sir. 

Lac 'Tis but a star shot from a beauteous cheek. 
It blazes beauty's bounty, and hurts nothing. 

AuR. The power of love commands me. 

Lac I shall wither 
In comforts, till I see thee. [Exeunt severally. 


The CardinaVs Closet, 

Enter Cardinal and Lords, 

Car. My lords, I've work for you : when you 
have hours 
Free from the cares of state, bestow your eyes 
Upon those abstracts of the duchess' virtues, 
My study's ornaments. I make her constancy 
The holy mistress of my contemplation ; 


Et-.;s m»i ix ti^ of dkii : to nuke ber oath 
A« nacorrspc »t tk~ hoooBr of ■ Tirein, 
TiiK aasi be Hrict in ibtMubt, or rUe that tide, 
liki one of Ruhr's nuns, shrieks to dust : 
N« ^j«^T ih^^'i a vtrgiD than sbe's just. 

F:sfT Lc>*i>. Clttsxe. sir! tbe tmtli and jutke of 
To ber decns'ti lord's able to make poor 
Mjb* mwBTy of pnii«s. But, methinks, 
S^ tkat bkt ao innptatioii wt before her, 
Hjt TTitaie his tio cottqncst : then xoold ber eoo- 

^iae IB tk br^htest goodness of her glory, 

If ^ vottid gire admittance, see and be seen, 

Aad ret resist, and cooqaer: there were ai^umeDi 

For aiweb : 'tmmld outieaeh the life of praise 

^^ in MOftality's shortness. I spe»k this 

Koi far religioe, bat for love of her, 

VbocB I «i^ less religions, and more loving : 


But I fear she's too constant, that's her fault ; 
But 'tis so rare, few of her sex are took with't, 
And that makes some amends. 

Car. You've put my zeal into a way, ray lord, 
I shall not he at peace till I make perfect : 
ril make her victory harder ; 'tis my crown 
When I bring grace to great'st perfection ; 
And I dare trust that daughter with a world, 
None but her vow ai^i she. I know she wears 
A constancy will not deceive my praises, 
A faith so noble ; she that once knows heaven 
Need put in no security for her truth ; 
I dare believe her. ^Face,** use all the ar t, ^ 
Tgmp tation, witcheries, slig ht s,^ anJ^ub tleties, 
^outemporar lords and all your means ^can prac- 

Sec Lord. My lord, not any we. 

Car. Her resolute goodness 
Shall as a rock stand firm, and send the sin 
That beat[8] against it 
Into the bosom of the owners weepiiig. 

Third Lord. We wish ^ her virtues so. 

Car. O, give me pardon ! 
I've lost myself in her upon my friends. 
Your charitable censures* I beseech : 
So dear her white fame is to my soul's love, 
'Tis an affliction but to hear it question'd ; 
She's my religious triumph : 
If you desire a belief rightly to her. 
Think she can never waver, then you're sure : 

^ I dare believe her. Face"] Was altered by the editor of 
1816 to " I dare believe tier faith." Compare Shakespeare, 
First P. qf Henry VI., act v. sc. 3 ; 

<< That Suffolk doth not flatter,/ac«, or feign." 

« tUghtt'] L e. artifices. ^ wUh] Old ed. " with." 

* eentwret"] i. e. judgments. 


Enter Lactamtio with a book. 

What, at thy meditation ? 'half in heaven ? 

Lac. The better half, my lord, my mind's there 
still ; 
And when the heart's above, th e body walks, hjgre. , . \ 
tout like an id le serving-man belo w. j 

Tia p in g and waiting for his master's coming. 

Car. What man in age could bring forth graver 
thoughts ? 

Lac. He that lives fourscore years is but like one 
That stays here for a friend ; when death comes, 

Away he goes, and is ne'er seen agen.' 
I wonder at the young men of our days. 
That they can doat on pleasure, or what 'tis 
They give that title to, unless in mockage : 
There's nothing I* can find upon the earth 
Worthy the name of pleasure, unless *t be 
To laugh at folly, which indeed good charity 
Should rather pity; but of alljhe frenzies 
Th at follow flesh and Jlloqd^.Q reyeTcnd uncle, 
Thejnost n*^ulous is to. fawn on_women ; 
There's no e xcuse^ for that ; 'tjgjs uch a ma dness, 
There Is no cure 8et3pwn_for't ; no physician 
Ever spent hour aBout it, for they guess'd 
*Twa8 all in vain when they first lov'd themselves. 
And never since durst practise ; cry Hei mfAt,^ 
That's all the help they've for't. I had rather m eet 
A witch far north. t_han a fine foofin love. 

The sight woulJlcss affl ict me : but for modesty, 
\hd your grave presence that learns men respect, 

' agrn'] See note, p. 182, 

* Hei mihi] ** The young hypocrite alludes here to a well- 
known line m Ovid. [Met, i.'523]*' Editor of 1816.— Old 
ed. " lieu mihi.** 


I should fall foiil in words upon fond** man, 
Tbat can foTgvt his exci^lleDce and honour, 
His lerious int^diiuuuns, being the end 
Of his creatiuu to learn well ta die, 
And live a prisoner to a woman's eye : 
Can therp be greater thraldom, greater toOi 

Car. In making him my heir, 1 make good worlH, 
And they give wealth a blessing; where,' on the 

What curses does he heap upon hia soul 
Thai leaves his riches to a riotous young man. 
To be consuni'd on surfeits, pride, and harlots I 
Peace be upon that spirit, whose life provides 
A quiet rest for mine ! [yitide. 

Enter PagcJ 

Lac. How now ? the news ? 

Page. A letter, sir [ghea letter to Lactantio], 
brought by a gentleman 
That lately came from Rome. 

Lac, Tliat's she ; she's come ; 
I fear not to admit her in his presence. 
There is the like already : l[nuTrit_chaste 
In niy-gr ave unc l e's thoughta, and boneat^mpa"ing» 
Think all_jnen^ like their own. lAiide.^ — ^Tbou 

look'st so^ale! 
What ail'el thou here a' late t 

Page, I doubt I've cause, sir, 

Lac. Why. what's the news ? 

Page. I fear, sir, I'm with child. 

Lac. With child? peace, peace ; speak loi 

Paoe. 'Twill 


1 fear, : 

' fimd] i. e. fooliih. ' itliert] i. e. whrreu. 

' P«gt} Ai the D*ine of the ladf nho it ihui dicguiaed U J 
not giTca, 1 bive foUoired th* old cd. in designatj- •- -■ 


Lac. Beshrew my heart for that! — Desire the 
To walk a turn or two. 

Car. What gentleman ? 

Lac. One lately come from Rome, my lord, in 
With Lord Vincentio ; so the letter speaks him. 

Car. Admit him, my kind .hoy. [^Exit Page,] — 
The prettiest servant 
That ever man was hless'd with ! 'tis so meek, \, 

So good and gentle ; 'twas the hest alm's-deed uv*^^^ 

That e'er you did to keep him : I've oft took him «f i* f '"^ 
Weeping alone, poor boy, at the remembrance _ • ^ i^a ^^^^ ;c< 
Of his lo st friendTs. which, as he says, the sea ] -,1 ^ 

Swallow* 3j with all their sub stance. y<^^ 

Lac. 'Tis a truth, sir, ~ 
Has cost the poor boy many a feeling tear. 
And me some too, for company : in such pity 
I always spend my part. Here comes the gentleman. 

Enter Aurelia disguised as a man. 

Car. Welcome to Milan, sir : how is the health 
Of Lord Vincentio ? 

AuR. May it please your grace, 
I left it well and happy, and I hope 
The same bless'd fortune keeps it. 

Car. I hear you're near him. 

AuR. One of his chamber, my lord. 

Lac I'd ne'er wish one of her condition nearer 
Than to be one of mine. [^Aside, 

Car. Your news is pleasing : 
Whilst you remain in Milan, I request you 
To know the welcome of no house but ours. 

AuR. Thanks to your grace. 

Car. I'll leave you to confer ; 
1*11 to the duchess, and labour her perfection. [Exit. 




Lac. Then thus begins our conference : I arrest 
In Cupid*8 name ; deliver up- your weapon, 

\Tdke9 her tword. 
It is not for your wearing, Venus knows it : 
Here*s a fit thing indeed ! nay, hangers ^ and all ; 
Away with 'em, out upon 'em ! things of trouble. 
And out of use with you. Now you're my prisoner ; 
And till you swear you love me, all and only, 
You part not from mine arms. 

AuR. I swear it willingly. 

Lac. And that you do renounce the general's 

» love, 
That heretofore laid claim to you.* 

AuR. My heart bids me, 
You need not teach me that ; my eye ne'er knew 
A perfect choice till it stood blessed with you. 
There's yet a rival whom you little dream of, 
Tax me with him, and I'll swear too I hate him ; 
I'll thrust 'em both together in one oath. 
And send *em to some pair of waiting-women, 
To solder up their credits. 

Lac, Prithee, what's he ? 
Another yet ? for laughter' sake, discover him. 

AuR. The governor of the fort. 

Lac. That old dried neat's tongue ! 

AuR. A gentleman after my father*s relish. 

Enter Aurelia's Father and Governor. 

Fath. By your kind favours, gentlemen. 

AuR. O, my father ! 
We're both betray'd. 

Lac Peace ; you may prove too fearful. — 
To whom your business, sir ? 

Fath. To the lord cardinal, 

^ hangers] See DOte, vol. ii. p. 227. 


If it would please yourself, or that young gentleman, 
To grace me with admittance. 

Lac. I will see, sir ; 
The gentleman's a stranger, new come o'er ; 
He understands you not. — 
LofftTO veen, tantumbro, hofftufftee locumber shaw. 

AuR. Quisquimken, sapadlamafiy fool-' urchin old 

Fath. Nay, and' that be the language, we can 

speak it too : ^ 

Strumpettikitif bold harlottunif queaninisma, whore' ^ 

mongerxa ! 

Shame to thy sex, and sorrow to thy father ! 
Is this a shape for reputation 
And modesty to masque in ? Thou too cunning 
For credulous goodness, 
Did not a reverent respect and honour. 
That's due unto the sanctimonious peace 
Of this lord's house, restrain my voice and anger, 
And teach it soft humility, I would lift 
Both your disgraces to the height of grief 
That you have rais'd in me ; but to shame you 
I will not cast ^ blemish upon virtue : 
Call that your happiness, and the dearest too 
That such a bold attempt could ever boast of. 
We'll see if a strong fort can hold you now. — 
Take her, sir, to you. 

Gov. How have I deserv'd 
The strangeness of this hour ? 

Fath. Talk not so tamely. — 
For^you, sir, thank the reverence of this place. 
Or your hypocrisy I'd -put out of grace, 
I had, i'faith ; if ever I can fit you. 
Expect to hear from me. 

\Exeuni Father ^ Governor^ and Aurelia. 

* and] i. e. if. 
VOL. III. 3 c 


Lac. I thank joo, sir ; 
Tlie cough o' th' lungs requite you ! I could curse 

Into diseases hy whole dosens now ; 
But ooe*s enough to beggar him, if he light 
Upon a wise physician. Tis a labour 
To keep those little wits I have about me. 
Still did I dream that villain would betray her : 
111 ne ver trust slave wit h a pagboil'd ncweji^un. 
T^musTde vise some trick t' excuse her absence 
Now to my unde too ; there is no mischief 
But brings one viUan[y] or other still 
Even close at heels on't. I am pain*d at heart ; 
If ever there were hope of me to die 
For love, * tis now ; I never felt such gripings : 
If 1 can 'scape this climacterical year, 
Women ne'er trust me, though you hear roe swear. 
Kept with him in the fort? why, there's no hope 
Of ever meeting now, my way's not thither ; 
Love bless us with some means to get together, 
And ril pay all the old reckonings. {^Exit. 


Street before the Duchesses House, 

Enter on a balcony °^ Duchess and Celia. 

DucH. What a contented rest rewards my mind 
For faithfulness ! I give it constancy, 
And it returns me peace. How happily 
Might woman live, methinks, confin'd within 
The knowledge of one husband ! 
W^hat comes of more rather proclaims desire 

'^ on a balcony'\ Old ed. "above," which meant on the upper 
stage : see note, vol. ii. p. 125. 


Prince of affections than religious love, 
Brings frailty and our weakness into question 
'Mongst our male enemies, makes widows' J ears 
Rather the cup of laugh tef^than of pity ; 
'^hat credit can our sorrows have witn men, 
^■^When^m some Months*^ space they turn light agen,° 
J'east, dance, and go in colours ? If my vow 
Were yet to make, I would not sleep without it, 
Or make a faith as perfect to myself 
In resolution, as a vow would come to. 
And do as much right so to constancy 
As strictness could require ; for 'tis our goodness 
And not our strength that does it. I am arm*d now 
'Gainst all deserts in man, be't valour, wisdom. 
Courtesy, comeliness, nay, truth itself, 
Which seldom keeps him companj^ I commend 
The virtues highly, a s j_do an instrument 
When the case ha ngs by th*_wall ; butjnan^himself 
l^ever comes near my heart . 

Enter Cardinal above. 

Car. The blessing of perfection to your thoughts, 
For I'm resolv'd** they're good ones. 

DucH. Honour of greatness, 
Friend to ray vow, and father to my fame. 
Welcome as peace to temples ! 

Car . I bring war. 

DucH. How, sir ? 

Car. A harder fight : if now you conquer. 
You crown my praises double. 

DucH. What's your aim, sir ? 

Car. T' astonish sin and all her tempting evils, 
And make your goodness shine more glorious. 

° agen"] See note, p. 182. 
** resolv*d'] i. e. satisfied. 


When your fair noble vow shen'd you tlie way 
Tn excellence in virtue, (o keep back 
The fears that might discoumge you at first, 
PityLD)( your streogth, it shew'd you not the won 
T is Dot eBQUgh for tapers to b urn bri)>ht, 
""But to be seen, so to lentTotbers li ght. 

Yet not mi£&ir themBe Wes, t heir flatne oa.pure 
""^ijS^wheiiTt shintd-ULsecreL; so, i' abide 
Temptations is the soul's flanie truly tried. 
I've an ambition, but a virtuous one ; 
I'd have nothing want to your perfection. 

DocH. Is there a doubt found yet ? is it bo lutd 
For woman to recover, with all diligence. 
And a true fasting faith from sensual pleasure, | 

What many of her sex have' so long lost ! | 

Can you believe that any sight of man. 
Held he tlie worth of millions in one spirit, 
Had power lo alter me ? 

Car. No; there's my hope, 
My credit, and my triumph. 

DucH. Vn no more 
Keep strictly private, since the glory on't 
Is but a virtue qucstion'd ; I'll come forth 
And shew myself to all ; the worl d shall wit ness, 
That, lik^the sun, my;^ cons tancy can look 
On earth 'aJrorrupt ions, and" shine^clear itself. 

Car, Hold conquest now . and^T have all my 
wishes. [^Comets, and a shoul trilhin. 

DucH. The meaning of that sudden shout, my 
lord ? 

Oak. Signor Andrugio, general of the field, 
Successful in hia fortunes, is arriv'd. 
And met by all the gallant hopes of Milan, 
Welcom'd with laurel -wreaths and hymns of praises: 

r have] Old t± " bas." 


Vouchsafe but you to give him the first grace, madam. 
Of your 80 long-hid presence, he has then 
All honours that can bless victorious man. 
DucH. You shall prevail, grave sir. 

lExit Cardinal above. 

Enter Andrugio, attended by the nobility, senators, 

and masquers. 


Laurel is a victor*s due, 

I give it you, 

I give it you ; 
Thy name with praise. 
Thy brow with bays 

We circle round : 
All men rejoice 
With cheerful voice, 

To see thee like a conqueror crowned. 

\^A Cupid descending, sings : 
I am a little conqueror too ; 
For wreaths of bays 
There* s arms ofcross,^ 
And thaVs my due : 
I give the flaming heart. 

It is my crest ; 
And by the mother's side. 
The weeping eye, 
The sighing breast. 
It is not power in you, fair beauties ; 
If I command love, His your duties, [^Ascends. 
[_During the preceding songs Andruoio 
peruses a letter delivered to him by a 
Lord: the masque then closes with the 

•> of cross] ** AcrosSf I presume." Ed. of 1816. 


Welcome, ivelromf, ton o/ftm 
Hontmr trmmpht in Ihg name 

[£frant all e;ecepl t 
LoBi>. Alas, poor gentleman ! I brought tiintfii 
Tliai like a tloud spread over all his glories : 
When he miss'd her whom his eye greedily sought 

His welcome seemM so poor, he took no joy in'i ; 
But when lie found her by her father forc'd 
To the old governor's love, and kept so strictly, 
A coldneas strook his heart. There is no stole 
So firmly happy but feels envy's niighl. ^| 

!phew to the cardinal. 

Hates_liim_aB. deeply_M a ri^ in an de ath ; ^ 

"Snd yet his welcotneSeW'd as fair and friendtj 
As his that wore the truest love to him : 
When in his wishes he could drink his blood. 
And make his Iieart tlie sweetness oUiisiood. 

^ --" - [£^« 

Celia. Madam ! madam ! 

Dccn. Beshren thy heart, dost thou not liee mi 
You shew your manners ! 

Celia. In the name of goodness, 
What ails my lady ? 

DucH. I confess I'm mortal ; 
There's no defending on't; 'tis cruel flattery 
To make a lady believe otherwise. 
Is not this flesh ? can you drive heat from 6rfl' 
So may you love from this ; for love and death 
Arc brothers in this kingdom, only death 
Comes by the mother's side, and that's the sui 
That general is wondrous fortunate. 
Has won another field since, and a victory 


That creditg all the rest ; he may more boast on't 
Than of a thousand conquests. I am lost, 
Utterly lost ! where are my_ wpinfi" "^" ? 
Ala s, what helpV iiTthem. what strength have they ? 
T ca fl to a~we ak imaid jyhen I c^jhem; 
. In rescuing m e they*_d be themselves overc ome : 
When It that profess'd war, am overthro wn, 
w hat hope's in them, then, that ne*ergtirr'cL from 

hopae J 
My faith is gone for ever ; 
My reputation with the cardinal, 
My fame, my praise, my liberty, my peace. 
Changed for a restless passion : O hard spite, 
To lose my seven years* victory at one sight ! 



Lactantio's lodging in the CardmaVs mansion. 

Enter Dondolo, and Page^ carrying a shirt. 

Page. I prithee, Dondolo, take this shirt and air 
it a little against my master rises ; I had rather do 
any thing than do't, i'faith. 

Don. O monstrous, horrible, terrible, intolerable ! 
are not you big enough to air a shirt ? were it a 
smock now, you liquorish page, you*d be hanged 
ere you'd part frbmt^ ITtboTrdost not prove as 
arrant a smell-smock as any the town affords in a 
term-time, I'll lose my judgment in wenching. 

Page. Pish ; here, Dondolo, prithee, take it. 

Don. It's no more but up and ride with you 
thea! all my generation were beadles and officers, 
and do you think I'm so easily entreated ? you shall 
6nd a harder piece of work, boy, than you ima- 
gine, to get any thing from my hands ; I will not 

' Page] See note, p. 562. 



madi horn the nature dwaj kind r e d ; 

Dse one waj or other, if joo look to 

AiHg done, or else jom maj do't jouTMlf : 

Other's hmnoor when be bore office. 

Yo« know mj mind, page; the tong! tbe song! 

I Hott eitber bare tbe song yon sang to mj master 

hat aigbt wben be went to bed, or IH not do a 

Mitcb of sen i ce for yoo from one week*s end to 

tbe otber. As I am a gentleman, you sbaD bmsb 

dean spurs, naj, poll off strait boots, 
in tbe togging joo cbanee to &11 and 
baxard tbe breaking of your little buttocks; IH 
t^eno more pit y of your marrow»boDe s thima 
bqtc her^s~"3og of a mmpofbedC; n*y» ka me, ka 
ityoa will ease'^Eemelancholy of my mind 
with singing. I will delirer yoa from the calamity 
of boots- haling. 

Page. Alas, yoa know 1 cannot sing ! 
Don. Take heed; you may speak at stich an 
hoar that yoar Toice may be clean taken away from 
yoa : I haTe known many a good gentlewoman say 
so much as you say now, and have presently gone 
to bed and lay speechless : 'tis not good to jest, as 
old Chaucer was wont to say, that broad famous 
English poet. Cannot you sing, say you ? O that 
a boy should so keep cut with^ his mother, and be 
giTCQ to dissembling ! 

Page. Faith, to your knowledge in't, 01 may ^seem 
well ; 
But as T~hope in comforts, IVe no skill. 

* ka mut ka tkfe] i. e. " if you'll do me one Cutout, 1*0 do 
you another. Mr. Gifibrd belieTes it to be a Scotch proyerb." 
Editor of 1816. See Jamieson** Et, Diet, of Scott. Lang. (SmppL) 
in V. Kae. 

* keep cut with'] " L e. follow the example of. The word is 
used by Sterne, in the same sense, in the 5th vol. of hi« 
Tristram Shandy ." Editor of 1816. 



Don. a pox of skill ! give me plain simple cun- 
ning ; why shouldnotsinging be as well got with- 
out^gCnrgr'tEe'^^gjng of cfijHren? ^ouTKarr 
lave the arrantestlo orHo as much there as th e 

jPe m ail , let ^em have ail the help 

wisest co yconii 

of doctors put to *em, both the directions of phy- 
sicians, and thgj^r ^jons of pothecaries ; you shall 
have a plauT hobnailed country fellow, marrying 
some dairy-wench, tumble out two of a year, and 
sometimes three, byrlady,^ as the crop uills out; 
and your nice paling physicking gentlefolks some 
one in nine years, and hardly then a whole one as 
it should be ; the wanting of some apricock or 
something loses a member on him, or quite spoils it. 
Come, will you sing, that I may warm the shirt? 
by this light, he shall put it on cold for me else. 

Page. A song or two I learnt with hearing gen- 
tlewomen practise themselves. 

Don. Come, you are so modest now, *tis pity that 
thou wast ever bred to be thrust through a pair of 
canions ;^ thou wouldst have made a pretty foolish 
waiting- woman but for one thing. Wilt sing? 

Page. As well as I can, Dondolo. 

Don. Give me the shirt then, Fll warm*t as 
well[*s] I can too. 
Why, look, you whoreson coxcomb, this is a smock ! 

Page. No, *tis my master's shirt. 

Don. Why, that's true too ; 

" byrlady'] See note, p. 9. 

^ canions'\ Or cannions — equivalent here to breeches. "Caw 
numt of breeches/' says Minsheu, so called " because they are 
like cannons of Artillery, or Cans or pots." Guide into the 
Tongues, 1617. — " Cannions, boot-hose tops." Kersey's ZMc/. — 
According to Strutt, " ornamental tubes or tags at the ends of 
the ribbands and laces, which were attached to the extremities 
of the breeches." Dress and Habits, &c. vol. ii. p. 263. See 
also my note on Webster's Works, vol. iii. p. 165. 


Dmm. TW fcur lar di' lubn : ifaoa'tt so « 

BaiMt tmi a mar, be'd have in^t tfaee duiL 
C a — T n»M » , df I way be gooe, boy! 

Jha Ar if « aimCini toy, 

/le thiMti at ladttt naked bre<uli, 
Ut it tlie cautr of tnott men'* crettt, 

I owam upon tke forehead, 

/imitible, but horrid; 

] Vorm* pMt of a 
\.nailii hfati in Chtaptidt, *c( i*. >- ' 
mil anJ Dill Uovi v* not fouiul. 


Of the short velvet mask he was deviser , 

That wives may kiss, the husbands ne*er the wiser; 
*Twas he first thought upon the way ^^«^ 

To keep a lady's lips in play, *^*'^''^' 

Don. O rich, ravishing, rare, and enticing ! Well, P 
go thy ways fo r as sweet a breaste d_ page ^ as ever 
lay at his inaster^s feet in a trucEIe-bed. 

Page. You'll hie you in straight, Dondolo ? 

Don. rU not miss you. [Exit Page, 

This smockified shirt, or shirted smock, 
I will go toast. Let me see what's a'clock : 
I must to th' castle straight to see his love, 
Either by hook or crook : my master storming 
Sent me last night, but I'll be gone this morning. 



An Apartment in the House of the Duchess, 

Enter Duchess and Celia. 

DucH. Seek out the lightest colours can be got, 
The youthfuH'st dressings ; tawny is too sad, 
I am not thirty yet ; I've wrong'd my time 
To go so long in black, like a petitioner : 
See that the powder that I use about me 
Be rich in cassia. 

Celia. Here's a sudden change ! [Aside, 

DucH. O, I'm undone in faith I Stay, art thou 
Lactantio, nephew to the cardinal, was present 
In the late entertainment of the general ? 

7 tweet a hreatted'] i. e. sweet a voiced. 

Or«bc>tatt*iBdnK! At 

lM» Ab tnMt of a MkT win : 

i 10 lafert— itt, 

EmUr CartmaL 

Cab^ IncrcaK of biralib^od^a redoobled 
To duwiity** gTL-at Mildi^r! Whu, «> (ad, r" 
'l1>e memory orlicr trvcn-jreon-ileceu'ii 
Spring! yd into li<*r cyci at freih and full 
Ai at iIm! irTcnih hour after bis depangre 
What a perpi-hial fountain ia her virtue I — [^n&. 
Too innch t' aflljct youraelf with ancient sorrow 
li not lu Ktricily for your Birengtb requjr'd ; 
Your vow ii cliar<^t- tiiougli, believe in« 'lis, madanii 
Yuu nMd nn WEt);btii^r tttak, 

Diicii. Religious iiir, 
You bcnril the Inst words of my dying lord. 

Caii. Which I pibnll neVr forget. 

Dm-ir. Muy I entreat 
Your goodness but to spoak 'cm orer to mei 
Aa near aa tnomury can befriend your utieranw. 

lilml imiMli 
full ^^H 


That I may think awhile I stand in presence 
Of my departing husband. 

Car. What's your meaning 
In this, most virtuous madam ? 

DucH. *Tis a courtesy 
I stand in need of, sir, at this time specially ; 
Urge it no further yet ; as it proves to me. 
You shall hear from me ; only I desire it 
Efiectually from you, sir, that's my request. 

Car. I wonder, yet Til spare to question far- 
ther. — [^Aside, 
You shall have your desire. 

DucH. I thank you, sir ; 
A blessing come along with't ! 

Car. You see, my lords, what all earlKs glory is. 
Rightly defined in w^, uncertain breath; 
A dream of threescore years to the long sleeper. 
To most not half the time : beware ambition ; 
Heaven is not reacKd with pride, but with submis- 
And you, lord cardinal, labour to perfect 
Good purposes begun; be what you seem, 
Stedfast and uncorrupt ; your actions noble. 
Your goodness simple, without gain^ or art, 
And not in vesture holier than in heart. 
But Uis a pain, more than the pangs of death. 
To think that we must part, fellow* of life. 
Thou richness of my joys, kind and dear princess ; 
Death had no sting but for our separation; 
It would come more calm than an evening^ s peace 
That brings on rest to labours : thou'rt so precious, 
I should depart in everlasting envy 
Unto the man that ever should enjoy thee : 
O, a new torment strikes his force into me 

r gain] Qy. " guile t" » fellow] Old ed. " fellows." 

VOL. III. 3 D 

Wiem ! to tMmk mi !I mm rmefd mad imm ; 
Fkm BK a tkjf rrrtara. 

Drcft. M^ Wd Uwd, 
Let ymt\ aomfamd opmiom of wnf tift^ 
Mff Um€^ m^fwdkfml /ore, 9tal mm mssmrmmee 
fjffmet U yamr spirit^ tkmi mo Jmrg€tfmimen 
Cmm emU m deep so deadly on wuf saues^ 
To draw wnf mjfetlMms to a tetomd Ukimg, 

Cae. 'T has eter been tke* pramute^arndtkeMprmg 
Of wnf great Uxt to thee. For omct to maarry 
h kommrabU » woatam, amd her igmoramce 
Stamdsfor a r'trtme^ comumg mew amd fresh ; 
Bvt second marriage shews desires inJUsh ; 
Themce lust, and heat, and common custom gramas ; 
Bui she's part virgin who but one man knows. 
I here expect a work of thy great faith 
At my last parting ; I can crate no more^ 
And with thy tow J rest myself for ever ; 
My soul and it shall fly to heaten together : 
Seal to my spirit that quiet satisfaction^ 
And I go hence in peace, 

Ducu. Then here I vow never 

Car. Why, madam ! 

DucH. I can go no further. 

Car. What, 
Have you forgot your vow ? 

DucH. I have, too certainly. 

Car. Your vow ? that cannot be ; it follows now 
Just where I left, 

DucH. My frailty gets before it ; 
Nothing prevails but ill. 

Car. What ail you, madam ? 

DucH. Sir, Tm in love. 

Car. O, all you powers of chastity, 

» the] Altered by editor of 1816 to " thy"— perhaps righdy. 


Look to this woman ! let her not faint now, 
For honour of yourselves ! If she be lost, 
I know not where to seek my hope in woman. 
Madam, O madam ! 

Ddch. My desires are sicken'd 
Beyond recovery of good counsel, sir. 

Car. What mischief ow*d a malice to the sex. 
To work this spiteful ill ! better the man 
Had never known creation, than to live 
Th' unlucky ruin of so fair a temple. 
Yet think upon your vow, revive in faith ; 
Those are eternal things : what are all pleasures. 
Flatteries of men, and follies upon earth, 
To your most excellent goodness ? O she's dead. 
Stark cold to any virtuous claim within her ! 
What now is heat is sin's. Have I approv'd 
Your constancy for this, calPd your faith noble. 
Writ volumes of your victories and virtues ? 
I have undone my judgment, lost my praises, 
Blemish'd the truth of my opinion. 
Give me the man, that I may pour him out 
To all contempt and curses. 

DucH. The man's innocent. 
Full of desert and grace ; his name Lactantio. 

Car. How? 

DucH. Your nephew. 

Car. My nephew ? 

DucH. Beshrew the sight of him ! he lives not, sir, 
That could have conquer'd me, himself excepted. 

Car. He that I lov'd so dearly, does he wear 
Such killing poison in his eye to sanctity ? 
He has undone himself for ever by't ; 
Has lost a friend of me, and a more sure one. 
Farewell all natural pity ! though my affection 
Could hardly spare him from my sight an hour, 
I'll lose him now eternally, and strive 
To live without him ; he shall straight to Rome. 


DucH. Not if you love my health or life, my lord. 

Car. This day he shall set forth. 

DucH. Despatch me rather. 

Car. ril send him far enough. 

DucH. Send me to death first. 

Car. No basilisk, that strikes dead pure affection 
With venomous eye, lives under my protection. 


DucH. Now my condition's worse than e'er 'twas 
yet ; 
My cunning takes not with him ; has broke through 
The net that with all art was set for him, 
And left the snarer here herself entangled 
With her own toils. O, what are we poor souls. 
When our dissembling fails us ? surely creatures 
As full of want as any nation can be, 
That scarce have food to keep bare life about 'em. 
Had this but took effect, what a fair way 
Had I made for my love to th' general. 
And cut off all suspect, all reprehension ! 
My hopes are kill'd i' th* blossom. [Exit, 

SCENE JH: \\ * 

The CardinaVs closet* 

Enter Cardinal. 

Car. Let me think upon't; 
Set holy anger by awhile. There's time 
AUow'd for natural argument : 'tis she 
That loves my nephew ; she that loves, loves first ; 
What cause have I to lay a blame on him then ? 
He's in no fault in this : say 'twas his fortune. 
At the free entertainment of the general, 
'Mongst others the deserts and hopes of Milan, 
To come into her sight, where's the offence yet? 


What sin was that in him ? Man's sight and pre- 
Are free to public view : she might as well 
Have fix'd her heart's love then upon some other ; 
I would 't had lighted any where but there ! 
Yet I may err to wish't, since it appears 
The hand of heaven, that only pick'd him out 
To reward virtue in him by this fortune ; 
And through affection I'm half conquer'd now ; 
I love his good as dearly as her vow. 
Yet there my credit lives in works and praises : V / ' 
Inever found a harder fight within me . \ 

Since zeal jrst taugh t me war; say Ishould labour '^ 
To quenchthis love, and so quench life and all, 
As by all likelihood it would prove her death. 
For it must needs be granted she affects him 
As dearly as the power of love can force, 
Since her vow awes her not, that was her saint ; 
What right could that be to religion. 
To be her end, and dispossess my kinsman ? 
No, I will bear in pity to her heart. 
The rest commend to fortune and my art. \Ex\t, 

SCENE IV. ^^^ * 

An apartment in the Castle, 

Enter Aurelia's Father ^ Governor, Aurelia, and 

Andruoio disguised. 

Gov. I like him passing well. 
Path. He's a tall fellow. 

And. a couple of tall* wits. [^Aside."] — I've seen 
some service, sir. 

' tall] i. e. fine, great 


mi roar nloar'B wekotae : 
■w of 50*, alAeagb ili*^ no* 

'"*7 — P II 

VM &w*r Biriu ■bOTtt 'en ! 
F*fs. Ho viih 1. 1 

Ana. I WM about to call hrt, anil »be tt 
Of her omi gift, a* if aho knrw my miud ; 
(Vriain alie kmiw* mo nol, noi [Kiuible. [.iwA. 

Aua, Whai if I left my token aad tny letter 
Willi (hi* itrnnjfo fellow, lo 10 be convuy'd 
Wiilioui (uipioon lo I^octantio'a servant t 
Nut M), I'll iriiit no frcalimun witb such sec 
Hii jguorancu may mislalcc, and give't to ODO I 
Tlitil may lielunK (« lli' gnwiral, for I know ' 
III' m-ii HDMiE Kji{i>a about mc ; but all be geta '. 
Klinll nut 111' worili liii. pains. I would LacWB' 
Would m-tik snmn meaim to free mc from tltis p 

■ (Ifil/rlhw, &e.) CoWpMc Yol ii. 1'- SI- «"4 i* 


'Tis prisonment enough to be a maid, 
But to be mew'd up too, that case is hard, 
As if a toy were kept by a double guard. 

[Aside, and going. 

And. Away she steals again, not minding me : 
'Twas not at me she offer'd. \_Aside,'] — Hark you, 

AuR. With me, sir ? 

And. I could call you by your name. 
But gentle's the best attribute to woman. 

AuR. Andrugio h O, as welcome to my lips 
As morning-dew to roses ! my first love ! 

And. Why, have you more then ? 

AuR. What a word was there ! 
More than thyself what woman could desire, 
If reason had a part of her creation ? 
For loving you, you see, sir, Fm a prisoner. 
There's all the cause they have against me, sir ; 
A happy persecution I so count on't : 
If any thing be done to me for your sake, 
'Tis pleasing to me. 

And. Are you not abus'd. 
Either through force or by your own consent ? 
Hold you your honour perfect and unstain'd ? 
Are you the same still that at my departure 
My honest thoughts maintained you to my heart ? 

AuR. The same most just. 

And. Swear't. 

AuR. By my hope of fruitfulness. 
Love, and agreement, the three joys of marriage ! 

And. I am confirmed ; and in requital on't. 
Ere long expect your freedom. 

AuR. O, you flatter me ! 
It is a wrong to make a wretch too happy, 
So suddenly upon affliction ; 
Beshr^w me, if I be not sick upon't ! 

^ "ere „ 


Alfa 5 

V "•"■ Sir 
V ^ffn. Fie 

V ■^<^"- BjflFr 
°," '"«»«" 

; '■"' the |,L_'. 
Sur. ,;■ *"» by 


And. That's not to do now, sweet, the man stands 
near thee. 

AuR. Lonff may he stand most fortunately, sir, 
Whom her kmd goodness has appointed for me. 

And. Awhile Til take my leave t' avoid suspicion. 

AuR. I do commend your course : good sir, for- 
get me not. 

And. All comforts sooner. 

AuR. Liberty is sweet, sir. 

And. I know there's nothing sweeter, next to 
But health itself, which is the prince of life. 

Acr. Your knowledge raise you, sir ! 

And. Farewell till evening. [^Exit. 

AuR. And after that, farewell, sweet sir, for ever. 
A good kind gentleman to serve our turn with. 
But not for lasting ; I have chose a stuff 
JkVill wear out two of him, and one finer too : 
I like not him that has two mistresses. 
War and his sweetheart ; he can ne*er please both : 
And war's a soaker, she's no friend to us ; 
Turns a man home sometimes to his mistress 
Some forty ounces poorer than he went ; 
All his discourse out of the Book of Surgery, 
Cere-cloth and salve, and lies you all in tents,^ 
Like your camp-vict'lers : out upon't ! 1 smile 
To think how I have fitted him with an office : 
His love takes pains to bring our loves together, 
Much like your man that labours to get treasure, 
To keep his wife hiirh for another's pleasure. 


* tents] A play on the word.— Teiif, tay the dictionaries, it 
*' a roll of lint put into a sore :'* hut according to the old 
books of surgery, tents were also made of Yarious other ma- 
terials : see Vigon*s Workes of Chirurgeriet &c, 1571, fol. cxiiL 

ACT m. 9CZ3lE L 


A^*lMRfii«rAKaM>. mmUndiem 
T^MMTi^'dtWir^Mer! FvelndM^ 
Aad I an In* to aw (ke dne agatn; 

Pm«. if aj too mdi linihu'M 
KM>i«r war aager a«I j far nmd, 
TW hrnir n nj fbrtme : I nmct tJl yoo, sr, 
T« tnr jmr are np u prercatioa, * 

Qimkmme* mvn be tt^d u weD si bleMtngs,) 
Wbn f teft mil my frirods in ^laatua, 
For year Iovb'i u!ke alone, then, >ciUi atran^ oothi, 
Yoa promii'd preMnt marriage. 

L*c. Widi atruge osUu, quotb '■ f 
They're dm >o ftrange lo me ; I've svom tbe mnt 

I'm rare forty tjme« over, not so little ; 
I may be perfect in 'em, Iot my standing. 
Pass. I'oD cce 'tit high time now, air. 
Lac. Yn, yes, ye*, 
Harrisgf is nothing with you ; b toy' till deaill. 
.If ljtlBtiliJ5i!XI-$' ''"**^ ^ hav£jirqioi|"d, 
_^ |T would. ^kfr ona|vwwTisar8e_e re he could det- 

patcli ua.— 


S(e saw, p. S32. 


I must devise some shifl when she grows hig, 
Those masculine hose^^ will shortly prove too little : 
What if she were convey'd to nurse's house ? 
A good sure old wench ; and she'd love the child 

Because she suckled the father : no ill course, 
By my mortality ; I may hit worse. — [Aside, 

Enter Dondolo. 
Now, Dondolo, the news ? 

Don. The news ? 

Lac How does she ? 

Don. Soil, soft, sir ; you think 'tis nothing to 
get news 
Out o' th' castle : I was there. 

Lac. Well, sir. 

Don. As you know, 
A merry fellow may pass any where. 

Lac So, sir. 

Don. Never in better fooling in my life. 

Lac What's this to th' purpose ? 

Don. Nay, 'twas nothing to th' purpose, that's 

Lac How wretched this slave makes me ! Didst 
not see her ? 

Don. I saw her. 

Lac Well, what said she then ? 

Don. Not a word, sir. 

Lac How, not a word ? 

Don. Proves her the better maid. 
For virgins should be seen more than they're heard. 

Lac Exceeding good, sir ; you are no sweet 

Don. No, faith, sir, for you keep me in foul linen. 

t hose'] i. e. breeches. 

^ no tweet villain} See note, vol. i. p. 169. 

tmm fiw a> iabat t £d roa oe'cr kiMw dnt t 
I «» iW bapficK cbSd in all mtr catmtry ; 

Lu. Howr 
Dos. Surk domb, nr. 
Hj fiuhrr hid a nre iMrgwi of her, a rich pentj* 

There wonH tnve been but too much tnooey gmm 

for her : 
A JMUice of pMR fai aboal ber ; but my (alber, 
Being tben cooiuUe, carrieil l)«r before faim, 
Lac. Well, since we're entrr'd into these ilmk 

What nere the si^i she gave yoo 7 ^^| 

Do!!. Many and good, sir. ^^M 

Imprimit, slie first gap'd, but that 1 guess'd ^^| 
Waa done fot want of air, 'cause slie's kept close; 
But had she been abroad and gap'd as much, 
T had beeD another case : then cast she up 
Her pretty eye and wink'd ; l)ie votA iDethougtit 

was then. 
Came not tiU twitterlight :' 
Next, thus her fingers went, as who should say, 
' i>i)iititligM'\ i. e. twilight : compart! vol. ii. p. 30EI, nJ 


I*d fain have a hole broke to 'scape away : 
Then look'd upon her watch, and twice she nodded, 
As whoi^hould say, the hour will come, sweetheart, 
That I shall make two noddies of ray keepers. 
Lac a third of thee. Is this your mother- 
tongue ? 
My hopes are much the wiser for this language : 
There's no such curse in love to^ an arrant ass ! 

Don. O yes, sir, yes, an arrant whore's far worse. 
You never lin*' 

Railing on me from one week's end to another ; 
But you can keep a little tit-mouse page there. 
That's good for nothing but to carry toothpicks. 
Put up your pipe or so, that's all he's good for : 
He cannot make him ready ^ as he should do ; 
I am fain to truss his points ™ every morning ; 
Yet the proud, scornful ape, when all the lodgings 
Were taken up with strangers th' other night. 
He would not suffer me to come to bed to him. 
But kick'd, and prick'd, and pinch'd me like an 

urchin ;° 
There's no good quality in him : o' my conscience, 
I think he scarce knows how to stride a horse ; 
I saw him with a little hunting nag 
But thus high t'other day, and he was fain 
To lead him to a high rail, and get up like a butter- 
wench : 

J to"] i. e. in comparison with — altered by the editor of 
1816 to *' as." 

^ lilt'] i. e. cease. 

* make him ready] i. e. dress himself: compare pp. 35, 396. 

"■ truss his points j See note, p. 319. 

° urchin] Signified both a hedgehog and a particular kind 
of fairy or spirit. In the present passage, ''prick'd" would 
teem to refer to the former, " pinch'd" to the latter — the two 
significations being perhaps confounded in the author's mind. 

VOL. III. 3 E 


There'* no gooil fcllonaliip in this d&niliiin 

This dire-dapprr.P as U in olhcr pages ; 

Thej'il go B-swimming with me fainiliarlj; 

I' (li* hf^nt ofiiiimnier, and clap whaI-vuu-c«U-d 

Bui I coiilit never get ihat lilUe monkey y« 

To put olThis breeches : 

A tender, puling, nice, chiUy-foc'd BquftUi 

Lac. Is this the good you do me? hts li 
And most distress 'd, that miisl make use of fools. 

Don, Fool to my lace still I that's unreasonohli', 
1 will be a knave one day for this trick, 
Or't shall cost me a latl. (hough it be from a gibbet; 
h has been many a proper man's btst leap. 
Nay, sure I'll be quite out of the precincts 
Of o fool if 1 live but two days to ao end; 
I will turn gipsy presently. 
And that's the highway to the daintiest Icnai^ 
That ever mother's son took journey to. 
O those dear gipsies ! 

They live the merriest lives, eat sweet stoln h 
Phick'd over pales or hedges by a twitch ; 
They're ne'er without a plump and lovely g 
Or beautiful sow-pig; 

Those things I saw with mine own eyes to-dajd 
They call those vanities and trifling pilfrieai i 

But if a privy search were made amongst 'em 

They should find other raanner of ware about 'em. 
Cups, rings, and silver spoons, byrlady 1' braceleit, 

• damJiprat} " This term U, in »lt prolwbility, deriTn] from 
■ smiUI coin of tliu name-" Editor of 1SI6. — DamJifrai, a 
<I«rarf, s Utile man, a irord irf imceruiii origin, evldnith 
B»»B ihe dhuf to the coin : «ee noU-, ToL L p. 246, 

' divt~ilopptT] Or didappet — U e. dab-chidi. 

* (f wiU] Seenu to d ' 

' »jirWy] See iiotr, p. S. 


Pearl necklaces, and chains of gold sometimes : 
They are the wittiest thieves ! Til stay no longer, 
But even go look what I can steal now presently, 
And so begin to bring myself acquainted with 'em. 

[Aside, and exit, 
Lac Nothing I fear so much, as in this time 
Of my dull absence, her first love, the general, 
Will wind himself into her affection 
By secret gifts and letters ; there's the mischief! 
I have no enemy like him ; though my policy 
Dissembled him a welcome, no man's hate 
Can stick more close unto a loath'd disease 
Than mine to him. 

Enter Cardinal, 

Car. What ails this pretty boy to weep so often? — 
Tell me the cause, child ; — how his eyes stand full ! — 
Beshrew you, nephew, you're too bitter to him ! 
He is so soft, th' unkindness of a word 
Melts him into a woman. — 'Las, poor boy. 
Thou shalt not serve him longer ; 'twere great pity 
That thou shouldst wait upon an angry master : 
I've promis'd thee to one will make much of thee. 
And hold thy weak youth in most dear respect. 

Page. O, I beseech your grace that I may serve 
No master else ! 

Car. Thou shalt not : mine's a mistress, 
The greatest mistress in all Milan, boy. 
The ducness' self. 

Page. Nor her, nor any. 

Car. Cease, boy ! 
Thou know'st not thine own happiness, through 

And therefore must be learnt : go, dry thine eyes. 

* fondness] i. e. foolishness. 


Page. 'This rather is the way V 

make "em moitts^ 

Cab. Now, nephew! nephi ^^^ 

Lac. O, you've snatch'd my spirit, sir, ^^H 
From the divinest meiHiation ^^H 

That ever made soul happy ! ^h 

Car. I'm afraid 
I shall have as much toil to bring him oa now. 
As I had pains to keep her off from hiin. [.IniEt^ 
I've thought it fit, nephew, considering 
The present barrenness of our name and bou«e. 
The only famine of succeeding honour. 
To move the ripeness of your time to Diarriage. 

Lac. How, sir, to marriage 7 

Car. Yes, to s fruitful life : 
We must not all be strict ; so generation 
Would lose her right: thou'rt yoting ; 'tis my desire 
To see llioc beslow'd happily In my liffiime. 

Lac. Does your grace well remember who 1 am, 
When you speak this ? 

Car. Yes, very perfectly ; 
You're a young man, full in the grace of life. 
And made to do love credit ; proper, handsome, 
And for affection pregnant. 

Lac, I beseech you, sir, 
Take off your praises rather bestow 'cm 
Upon so frail a use. Alas, you know, sir, 
I know not what love is, or what you speak of I 
If woman be amongst it, I shall swoon ; 
Take her away, for contemplation's sake : 
Most serious uncle, name no such thing to me. 

Car. Come, come, you're fond :' 
Prove but so strict and obstinate in age. 
And you are well to pass. There's honest love 

■ /o«d] i. ... foolisi,. 


AUow'd you now for recreation ; 

The years will come when all delights must leave 

Stick close to virtue then ; in the meantime 
There's honourable joys to keep youth company ; 
And if death take you there, dying no adulterer. 
You're out of his eternal reach ; defy him. 
List hither ; come to me, and with great thankfulness 
Welcome thy fortunes ; 'tis the duchess loves thee ! 

Lac The duchess ? 

Car. Doats on thee ; will die for thee, 
Unless she may enjoy thee. 

Lac. She must die then. 

Car. How ? 

Lac. 'Las, do you think she ever means to do't, 
sir ? 
I'll sooner believe all a woman speaks 
Than that she'll die for love : she has a vow, my 

That will keep life in her. 

Car. Believe me, then. 
That should have bounteous interest in thy faith, 
She's thine, and not her vow's. 

Lac The more my sorrow. 
My toil, and my destruction. — My blood dances !" 


Car. And though that bashful maiden virtue in 
That never held familiar league with woman. 
Binds fast all pity to her heart that loves thee, 
Let me prevail, my counsel stands up to thee, 
Embrace it as the fulness of thy fortunes, 

" My blood dances] ** Is the only part of the speech in the 
original given to Lactantio ; the first part is there the con- 
clusion of the cardinal's." Editor of 1816. 



A» if am Vinsazkri upon eardi irere clot*d 
Widiis c«K bapfXDe». for sucb another 
Wbo^ liSt ccwid nerer meet with : go and present 
Your MtnA DP and To>iir lore : hot, on your hopes, 
Do it rdieiooslT. What need I doahc him 
Whoa chastztT locks up f 

Lac. O enrr, 
Hadst thoQ no other means to come hy virtiie 
Bm hr such treachenr ? the dochess' love ! 
Thoa vovikLst he sure to aim it high enough, 
Thos knew'st fall well 'twas no prerailii^ else. — 

Sir. what joar will coinmands, mine shaU fulfil ; 
rVi teach mv heart in all t* obev vour will. 

Ca£. a thins: vou shall not lose bv. Here come 
the lords : 

Enter Lords, 

Go, follow you the coarse that I advis'd you ; 
The comfort of thy presence is expected : 
Away with speed to court ; she languishes 
For one dear sight of thee : for life's sake, haste ; 
You lose my favour if you let her perish. 

Lac. And art thou come, brave fortune, the re- 
Of neat'^t] h^-pocrisy that ever book'd it," 

\ Pr tum'd u p transitory yhite o' th* eye 
After the leminme rapture l Duchess and I 
Were a fit match, can be denied of no man ; 
The best dissembler lights on the best woman ; 
*Twere sin to part us. [Aside, and exit. 

Car. You lights of state, truth's friends, much- 
honour'd lords, 

" book'd it] i. e. pretended to be devoted to books. Com- 
pare p. 561. 


Faithful admirers of our duchess' virtues. 

And firm believers, it appears as plain 

As knowledge to the eyes of industry, 

That neither private motion, which holds counsel 

Often with woman's frailty and her blood. 

Nor public sight, the lightning of temptations, 

Which from the eye strikes sparks into the bosom, 

And sets whole hearts on fire, hath power to raise 

A heat in her 'bove that which feeds chaste life. 

And gives that cherishing means ; she's the same 

And seems so seriously employ'd in soul. 
As if she could not 'tend to cast an eye 
Upon deserts so low as those in man. 
It merits famous memory I confess ; 
Yet many times when I behold her youth. 
And think upon the lost hopes of posterity. 
Succession, and the royal fruits of beauty. 
All by the rashness of one vow made desperate, 
It goes so near my heart, I feel it painful. 
And wakes me into pity oftentimes, 
When others sleep unmov'd. 

First Lord. I speak it faithfully. 
For 'tis poor fame to boast of a disease, 
Your grace has not endur'd that pain alone, 
'T has been a grief of mine; but where's the remedy? 
Car. True, there your lordship spake enough in 
little : 
There's nothing to be hop'd for but repulses ; 
She's no t to seekT for ar mour against love 
TThat has bid battle to his powers so long ; 
he that should try hier nowjiaj need~come strong, . 
And with more force than his own arguments, | 

Or he may part disgrac'd, being put to flight ; I 

^ to seek] i. e. at a loss. 


That Boldier'a taiMjti lim been ii 
Her toit's invind& le; for tou must Rrant tl 
~IF tlitue deaire*. t rain'd up in flesh and blot " 

To <rar cootinuallv 'gaiust good iatents. 
Prove all loo weak loFEer.^aving'advanu 
Both aChet *e\ and her unskilfulnpsi 
At a «|Mritual neajioD, nai)ting kitonledge 
To BUDage resolution, anil yet nin, 
Mlut (nrce can a poor art^ument bring in ! 
The books that I have publish'd in her prftul 
Commend her constancy, aiid that's famo-wM 
But if you read me o'er niifa eyea ol'encmiei 
Yoii cannot justly and with honour tax me 
That I dissuade her life from marriage tliert 
Now heaven and fruitfulnesg forbid, uot I ! ^ 
She may be constant there, an d tlie hard w j 
Of chaslitvjs^eld a virtuous strife , 

^'^"^ "Their re«aons. 

And you'U approve 'em Ourly. She ibat'a aia, 
Either in maid or widow, o (dentin 
The fear of slisme, more than the fear of hc*^ 
Keeps chaste and constant; when the lempest a 
She knows she has no shelter for lier sin. 
It must endure the weathers of all censure 
Nothing but sea and nir that poor bark fceln 
When she in wedlock is like a safe vessel 
That lies at anchor; cume what weathers c 
She has her harbour ; at bpr great uuladingi^ 
Much may be stoln, and little waste;" the n 
Thinks himself rich enough with what be ha 
And holds content by that. How think you t 
lords ! 


If she that might offend safe does not err, 
What's chaste in others is most rare in her. 

Sec. Lord. What wisdom but approves it ? 

First Lord. But, ray lord. 
This should be told to her it concerns most ; 
^ Pitv such ^ood th ings should be spoke and lost ,^ 

Car. That were the way to lose 'era utterly ; 
You quite forget her vow : yet, now I think on*t, 
What is that vow ? 'twas but a thing enforc'd, 
Was it not, lords ? 

First Lchid. Merely compelled indeed. 

Car. Only to please the duke ; and forced virtue 
Fails in her merit, there's no crown prepar*d for't. 
What have we done, my lords ? I fear we've sinn'd 
In too much strictness to uphold her in't. 
Id cherishing her will ; for woraan's goodness 
Takes counsel of that first, and then determines ; 
She cannot truly be call'd constant now, 
If she pers^ver, rather obstinate, 
The vow appearing forced, as it proves. 
Tried by our purer thoughts ; the grace and triumph 
^ Of all her victories are but i dle glories. 
She wilful, and we enemies to successi on. 
Twill not take rest till I tell her soul 
As freely as I talk to those I keep. 

Lords. And we'll all second you, my lord. 

Car. Agreed : 
^ We'lLknit such knots of arguments so fast. 
All wit in^er shall not undo in haste. 

BiEcrLoRD. Nay, sure, I think all we shall be too 
hard for her, 
Else^ihe^^ajbugewild creature^ 

First LoRDTTTwe^vini 
And she yield marriage, then will I strike in. [^Aside. 




Am tymriaaeaim tie komte cf ike DmJitu. 
Euter Dmckat amd Celia. 
DrcB. Hxhi teD'st me hippy thingSy if thej be 

To bring m j wishes aboot wooditMis straogidy ; 
Lactantior Dephew to the cmrdinal. 
The genenl's secret enemy ? 

Ceua. Most true, madam ; 
1 had it from a gentleman, my kinsman. 
That knows the best part of Lactantio's bosom. 

Dvcu. It happens passing fortunately to save 
Employment in another ; he will 'come now 
A nrcessary property ; he may thank 
The need and use we have of him for his welcome. 

[Knockmg wnikiaiu 
Now, who's thai knocks ? 

Celia [a/?^r going out and re-entering^. Madam, 
'tis he, with speed : 
I thought he had brought his horse to th' chamber- 
He made such haste and noise. 

DucH. Admit him, prithee, 
And have a care your heart be true and secret. 

Celia. Take life away from't when it fails you, 

DucH. Enough ; I know thee wise. — [Exit Ceua. 
He comes with haste indeed. 

Enter Lactantio. 

Are you come now, sir? 
You should have stayed yet longer, and have found 

Dead, to requite your haste. 
Lac. Love bless you better, madam ! 


DucH. Must I bid welcome to the man undoes 
The cause of my vow*s breach, my honour's enemy ; 
One that does all the mischief to my fame, 
And mocks my seven years' conquest with his 

This is a force of love was never felt ; 
But ril not grudge at fortune, I will take 
Captivity cheerfully : here, seize upon me, 
And if thy heart can be so pitiless 
To chain me up for ever in those arms, 
I'll take it mildly, av. and thank my stars . 
t'or w e're all subj ect to the chance of jgara. 

Lac We are so ; yet take comfort, ^vanquish^d 
ril use you like an honourabje prisoner. 
You shall beXweil] entreated ; day shall be 
Free for all sports to you, the night for me ; 
That's all I challenge, all the rest is thine ; 
And for your fare 't shall be no worse than mine. 
DucH. Nay, then, I'm heartily pleasant, and as 
As one that owes no malice, and that's well, sir : 
You cannot say so much for your part, can you ? 

Lac. Faith, all that I owe is to one man, madam, y 

And so can few men say : marry, that malice \/^ 

Wear839_dead_jegh. a);>iiiut_it^ 'tis a stinger^^ 
^lucHrWhaTTsTie that shalT dare to be your 
Having our friendship, if he be a servant 
And subject to our law ? 

Lac Yes, trust me, madam. 
Of a vild* fellow I hold him a true subject; 
There's many arrant knaves that are good subjects, 

' mli\ See note, vol. ii. p. 393. 


Some for Oicir living's sakes, some for tliei 

Tliat will unseen eat meni_ajiJ drjuk thei r 9^_ , 

' UvcH. "Ihey are as much in laulttliat Vnaw mdt ' 

Aod yet conceal 'em from tbe whips of justice^ 
For )ave'« sake give me in your foe betimes, 
Before he vex you further; 1 will order hita ^ 
To your heart's wishes, lostl him wiih disg 
That your revenge shall raihiT piiy him 
Than wish more weight upon him, 

Lac. Say you bo, madam ? — 
Here's a hlcss'd hour, that feeds both love and half , 
Then take thy time, brave malice. [^Asi(lc.\ 

tUDUs princess, 
The only enemy that my vengeance points Q 
Lives in Andrugio. 

DucH. What, the general ? 

IiAC. That's the man, madam, 

Ddcii. Are you serious, sir! 

Lac, Ab at my prayers. 

Ddcii, We meet happily llien 
lu hoth our wishes ; he'a the only man 
My will has liad a longing to disgrace, 
For divers capital contempts ; my memory I 
Shall call 'em all together now ; nay, i ' 
I'll tiring his faith in war now into questioD, i 
And his late conference with the enemy, 

Lac. Byrl.idy,' a shrewd businesB and ■ 
geroue ! 
Signor, your neck's a-cracking, 

Ducn. Stay, stay, sir ; 
Take pen and ink. 

Lac. Here's both, and paper, madam. 

DucH, I'll take him in a fine trap, 

' Ugrlady] Sec note, ji. S. 


Lac, That were excellent. 

DucH. A letter so writ would abuse him strangely. 

Lac. Good madam, let me understand your mind, 
And then take you no care for his abusing ; 
I serve for nothing else. I can write fast and fair, 
Most true orthography, and observe my stops. 

DucH. Stay, stay awhile ; 
You do not know his hand. 

Lac ^bastard Roma n. 
Much like mine own ; I could go near it, madam. 
' DucH. Marry, and shall. 

Lac. We were once great together, 
And writ Spanish epistles one to another. 
To exercise the language. 

DucH. Did you so ? 
It shall be a bold letter of temptation, 
With his name to't, as writ and sent to me. 

Lac Can be no better, lady ; stick there, madam. 
And ne'er seek further. 

DucH. Begin thus : Fair duchess j say ; 
We must use flattery if we imitate man, 
'Twill ne'er be thought his pen else. 

Lac Most fair duchess. {^Writing, 

DucH. What need you have put in most ? yet 
since *tis in. 
Let 't even go on; few women would find fault 

We all love to be best, but seldom mend : 
Go oh, sir. 

Lac Most fair duchess! here's an admiration- 
point. [ Writing. 

DucH. The report of your vow shall not fear me 

Lac Fear me ; two stops at fear me. [ Writing. 

DucH. / know you're but a woman 

Lac But a woman ; a comma at woman. 


VOL. III. 3 F 




DucH. And what a woman is, a wise man hums. 

Lac. Wise man knows ; a full prick there. V 

— — ^— IWritmg. 

DucH. Perhaps my cowUtion* may seem hUmt to 
you ■ 

Lac. BUmt to you ; a comma here again. 


DucH. But no man*s love can be more sharp set — 

Lac. Sharp set; there a colon, for colon* is sharp 
set oftentimes. [Writing. 

DucH. And I know desires in both sexes have skill 
at that weapon. 

Lac. Skill at that weapon ; a full prick here a t 
weapon. [ Writing, 

DucH. So, that will he enough ; suhscrihe it thus 
One that vows service to your affections ; signor such 
a one. 

Lac Signor Andrugio, G. ; that stands for ge- 
neral. [Writing. 

DucH. And you shall stand for goose-cap. [Aside.l 
— Give me that: [Taking letter. 

Betake you to your business speedily, sir ; 
We give you full authority from our person, 
In right of reputation, truth, and honour. 
To take a strong guard, and attach his body ; 
That done, to bring him presently before us ; 
Then we know what to do. 

Lac. My hate finds wings ; 
Man's spirit flies swifl to all revengeful things. 

[Aside, and exit. 

DucH. Why, here's the happiness of my desires ; 
The means safe, unsuspected, far from thought ; 

* condition'] See note, p. 292. 

" colon'] i. e. the largest of the human intestines. 


B li ke the world's con dition^righ t, 
lin, either b y fraudTor steaTth ; 
•ne toils, anotlicr gets IBe wealth- 



rhe rendesiiout of the Gipsies,'' near Milan. 

Enter Andruoio. 

Kks. Now, fortune, shew thyself the friend of 


e her nay plain and safe ; cast all their eyes 

% guard the castle 

B K thicker blindness than thine own, 
n ignorance or idolatry, 
" That in that shape my love may pass unknown, 
Aad by her freedom set my comforts free. 
This ia the place appointed for our meeting. 
Yet comes she [not]; I'm covetous of her sight; 
That gipsy-habit alters her so far 
From knowledge, that our purpose cannot err; 
She might have been here now by this time largely. 
And much to spare : 1 would not miss her now 
In this plight for the loss of a year's joy. 
She's ignorant of this house, nor knows she where 
Or which way to bestow herself through fear. 

Evier Lactaktio with a Guard, 
Lac. Close with him, gentlemen. — In the duchess' 

We do attach your body. 

' The rndtxveui of the Gipiiei] From Andrugio't menlian 
of " thii haua," the scene nould Beeia to be \n6 within doors i 
yet the meeting between Aureiia'a hther, the goTemor, and 
tile gipsies, >ppetrs lo be accidental, snd to take place in the 

Am. mm.mfVaift 

Lac Y«* wlA ta yvmi » 
I CmltmgAixtwAtmtM ^m » hit eamaaaj, 

*' Immanhti jmndtr, mi the imihtm^ pfeva 

L«c 1 MB wlai laHHBdc 

AxB- The &ibcraf ■mrstfai [ww«sae* tb j •pint. 
As he tw i iiimw b ibj toofne : 1 ilcfjr &ar 
Bat IB my lore, h ooly tMile* there. 

Ltc Brine him i ' 

Anik. Let l»w'« 1 
Bend «i tnjr <leeda, njr ii 
A thanM to tbc« nkd all mf « 

Lac Yon'n much the ha{>pieT n 

AvD. O, mj hard crouea ! 
Gruil nw the third put ofoae bonr'i st^. 

Lac Sir. noi a mimrte. 

Amt. O, ftbc't lost : 

Lao. Amjr! f£i 

£«br AcuuA dt^riittd or a Gipitf. 
AuB. I'm happily eaap'il, not ooc puriuei me; 
Tbb ahapc'i too cunning for *em ; all the sport tm, 
Tbt portrr woold tio«Li kanw his fortane of me 
At 1 pau'd by him : 'ivras «ach a plunge'^ to me, 
I knew DM bov to b«ar myseir; at last 
I did reaolve ofMnnewbat, look'd in's hand, 
Tlien ahook my bead, bade hiro make much oa's 

He'd Imc hit sight dean long before he dies ; 

• ftt^i i- K. atrsit, iIilGtultx. 


And 80^ away went I ; he lost the sight of me 

quickly : 
I told him his fortune truer for nothing than some 
Of my complexion that would have cozened him of 

his money. 
This is the place of meeting ; where's this man now 
That has took all this care and pains for nothing ? 
The use of him is at the last cast now, 
Shall only bring me to my former face again, 
And see me somewhat cleanlier at his cost, 
And then farewell, Andrugio ; when Fm handsome, 
I'm for another straight. I wonder, troth. 
That he would miss me thus ; I could have took 
Many occasions besides this to have left him ; 
Fm not in want, he need not give me any ; 
A woman's will has still enough to spare 
To help her friends, and ^ need be. What, not yet ? 
What will become of me in this shape then ? 
If I know where to go, I'm no dissembler ; 
And I'll not lose my part in woman ^ so 
For such a trifle, to forswear myself. 
But comes he not indeed ? 

Enter Dondolo. 

Don. O excellent! by this light here's one of 
them ! I thank my stars : I learnt that phrase in the 
Half-moon tavern. \^Aside.'] — By your leave, good 
gipsy ; 
I pray how far off is your company ? 

AuR. O happiness ! this is the merry fellow 
My love, signor Lactantio, takes delight in ; 

^ j^nd so , . . fnoney~\ So these three lines stand in old ed. : 
nor do I see how the metre can be rectified by any arrange- 
ment. ** and"] i. e. if. 

• woman'] Old ed. " one woman,*' 

n aad Un awiy >pfl«dil)r with thv now* 
Of Mf •» Mnsft' *>" fortuBste nope, 
Aad hell prarMe mj tafeiy at ah tostaat. 
Mt fiinA ifaoB Mrr'it Bignor Lactantta I 

Don. Wko, I Mmc F ftipay, I tcoin joor n 
aad iftltc mt of your company gi\e me nu 
wocdi, 1 wtB brotkr 'em ilw stealing of more 
poilea' dnn fifty paultcnn wen ever worth, and 
pon a bravier enernj to aU their pig-booiioi 
titty «fa«D traiti likr Jewi, that tiale awine'a &»h, 
aad Bvrar get a aow by th' car afl their lif«tiiDc 
1 turn LMtiDlio ! I scotB lo serve any body ; 1 am 
re B^Hy-niBcled than so: th oiiyh my face look 
aJ CtoMlian cqIput. if my bSl^ wcre ripped uj ^ 
gr^eart^jTSlacIc a » any patch about 
e tnith ts, I am as arraDt s thief uTHie 
N of jrovr company ; I'll except none : I am 
n away frmn my matter in the state ofa fool, and 
till I be a perfect knave I never mean lo return 

Aua. I'm ne'er iho happier ft " ' ' 
It did bm inock n 

DoK. Here ibcy c 

', here they come .' 

Eattr G'rpty Ca^ain with a amipani/ of Oip 
m>d/rmk»le, carrying bootU* o/hetu and ducn 

G. Cap. Came, ny Haintif dorits. 

My driU,' my ddU mott dear ; 
N'r iave tteither hmue hot land, 
yet Mcrrr iranl good cheer, 
CRoars. H'e neper want good cheer. 

' Km HBT BXiM] CoDipiiK ToL L p. ITS. an 

■ fmOn} I r. nutlrr— Old «L " puUf," whidi, ] 

■7 bt uiolhrr lonn of the won). 

( dHb] See note, vol u. p- Sti. 


G. Cap. We take no care for candle rents. 

Sec. Gip. We lie. 

Th. Gip. We snort. 

G. Cap. We sport ^ in tents, 

Then rouse betimes and steal our dinners. 
Our store is never taken 
Without pigs, hens, or bacon, 
And that*s good meat for sinners: 
At wakes and fairs we cozen 
Poor countryfolks by dozen ; 
If one have money, he disburses ; 
Whilst some tellfortunes, some pick purses; 
Rather than be out of use, 
We'll steal garters, hose, or shoes, 
Boots, or spurs with gingling rowels, 
Shirts or napkins, smocks or towels. 
Come live with us, come live with us, 
All you that love your eases; 
He tJiaVs a gipsy 
May be drunk or tipsy 
At what hour he 'pleases. 
Chorus. We laugh, we quaff, we roar, we scuffle ; 
We cheat, we drab, we filch, we shuffle. 
i Don. O sweet ! they deserve to be hanged for 
ravishing of me. 

AuR. What will become of me? if I seem fearful 
Or offer sudden flight, then I betray myself; 
I must do neither. [Aside. 

G. Cap. Ousabel,^ camcheteroon, puscatelion, 

Sec. Gip. Rumbos stragadelion 
Alia piskitch in sows-clows. 
Oh, oh I 

* tport\ Qy. ** snort** — as before. 

^ Ousabel, &c.] So this gibberish is divided in old ed., 
rhymes, perhaps, being intended. 

A ■■ Annr-c/tntt / I shall aever ktc; 
a gaad toagit i& mj head till I get this bngiugc 

G. Cat. Cmknfil kraWdnt, »agn>~jtyi. 

Dax. He caDs her wgnr n' pjr ^ 

Ara- I bre TO**^ l*^i»ge «rell, but undnitud 
k aM. 

&CUr. Bah! 

Acs. 1 a> bn hwiv tnm'd to your profnaiaqi 
Yet &■■ ^7 joulh I r>'« loT'd it dearly, 
B« aiiu <«^ anaiB to't : steal I can, 
It «aa a thkf I stm- was brought up to ; 
9^ fiilKT vas a nuUer, and my motheT 

Dbk. She's a thief oo both aides. 
Cl C&r. Ghre ne thy hand ; thou « 

Vi h»T-: Bv^ 1 niPre irue-bred thief ai 
G:r$iE^ Not any, captain. 
~ 1 pny. take me into s 

obuuid \ 

; grace amongsi 
ipu too : for though I claim no goodxiess from my 
paraiLs to b^lp me forward into your society, I bid 
tw* uDcks that were both hanged for rohberies, if 
thii vill serve your turn, and a hrare cut-purse to 
nv i.-v>ufiD-^rTnan : if kindred will be taken, I an 
a$ (Mar akin to a thief as any of you that had 
£tther$ and mothers. 

G. Cir. Wfcat is it thou requirest, nohle cousin! 

Don. Coui^iD ! nay, and' we be so near akin 
alreadr. i>ow we are sober, we shall be sworn bro- 
thers when we are drunk : the naked truth is, sit, 
I would be made a gipsy as fast as you cou)<I 

. Car. \ eiDsv ? 

speed you can, sir ; the 


very sight of those stolen hens eggs me forward 

6. Cap. Here's dainty ducks too, boy. 

Don. I see 'em but too well ; I would they were 
all rotten roasted and stuffed with onions. 

6. Cap. Lov'st thou the common food of Egypt, 
onions ? 

Don. Ay, and garlic too ; I have smelt out many 
a knave by't; but I could never smell mine own 
breath yet, and that's many a man's fault ; he can 
smell out a knave in another sometimes three yards 
off, yet his nose standing so nigh his mouth, he can 
never smell out himself. 9 

G. Cap. A pregnant gipsy ! 

Gipsies. A most witty sinner ! 

G. Cap. Stretch forth thy hand, coz : art thou 
fortunate ? 

Don. How ? fortunate ? nay, I cannot tell that 
myself; wherefore do I come to you but to learn 
that ? I have sometimes found money*' in old shoes ; 
but if I had not stolen more than I have found, I 
had had but a scurvy thin-cheeked fortune on't. 

G. Cap. [taking Dondolo's hand] Here's a fair 

Don. Ay, so has many a man that has given over 
housekeeping ; a fair table, when there's neither 
cloth nor meat upon't. 

G. Cap. What a brave line of life's here ; look 
you, gipsies. 

Don. I have known as brave a line end in a halter. 

G. Cap. But thou art born to precious fortune. 

^ money t &c.] « This is an allusion to a popular super- 
stition, that the fairies, from their love of cleanliness, used at 
night to drop money into the shoes of good servants as a re- 
ward/' Editor of 1816. 

1 table] See note, p. 116. 

Dm. The AetH I am ! 
G. Cat. BelU hmthllo. 
Vox. Hot, to heu budu f 
G. Cat. SbtUee baeamo. 
Dux. O, to steal bscoo ; that's the better fl 
o' th* two mdeed. 
G. Cxr. Tbon irilt be shortljr oipuin of the 

Dox. I woaU jou'A make ine coTp<*ral i' ih" 

Of tundwd-bearar to the women's regimeoL 

G. Cat. Much may W done for love. 

J>o>. Nay, here's some money ; 
I know juv oERce comes not all for love. 

[^FtxU m hit nx 
A pox of yoar littic-twies I you have't all • 

G. Cap. It lies but here in ush for t* 
Bse. boy. 

DoK. Nay, an 'I lie there once, I aha 
cone to itie lingering on't in haste i yet 
, an apt Mholar. and 1 care not : teach me but SB ' 
nmch gipty, lo steal as much more from oiwtbor, 
and the devtt do you good of that. 

G. Cap. Thou shall have all thy heart r 
First, here's a girl for thy desires ; 
This doxy fresh, this new-cotne dell,' 
Shall lie by thy sweet side and swell. 
Get tne gipiics brave and lawny, 
With check full plump and hip full brawny; 
Look you prove industrious dealers, 
To servo the commonwealth with stealers. 
That ih' unhous'd race of fortune-tellers 
May never tail to cheat town-dwellers, 
Or, to our universal grief, 
Leave country fain without a lliief. 

' Jfll] See uoii'. vol. ii. p. 53S. 


This is all you have to do. 
Save every hour a filch or two, 
Be it money, cloth, or pullen :™ 
When the evening's brow looks sullen. 
Lose no time, for then 'tis precious ; 
Let your slights ° be fine, facetious: 
Which hoping you'll observe, to try thee. 
With rusty bacon thus I gipsify thee. 

[Rubs his face with bacon* 

Don. Do you use to do't with bacon ? 

G. Cap. Evermore. 

Don. By this light, the rats will take me now for 
some hog's cheek, and eat up my face when I am 
asleep, I shall have never a bit lef\ by to-morrow 
morning ; and lying onen mouthed as I use to do^ 
I shall look tor all the ^ world like a mQ use'4rftp- 
Baited with ba^onj._ 

G. (Jap. Why," here's a face like thine so done, 
Only grain'd in by the sun ; 
And this, and these. 

Don. Faith, then, there's a company of bacon- 
faces of you, and I am one now to make up the 
number : we are a kind of conscionable people, 
and^ 'twere well thought upon, for to steal bacon, 
and black our faces with't ; 'tis like one that com- 
mits sin, and writes his faults in his forehead. 

G. Cap. Wit, whither wilt thou ? p 

Don. Marry, to the next pocket I can come at ; 
and if it be a gentleman's, J wish a whole quarter's 
rent in't. Is this my in dock, out nettle ? ^ What's 
gipsy for her ? 

"* pulleni i. e. poultry. " *iightt'\ i. e. dexterous tricks. 

' and] i. e. if. 

P Witf whither wilt thou'} A kind of proverbial expression : 
it occurs in Shakespeare's As you like itj act iv. sc. 1 ; where 
see Steevens's note. 

4 in dock, out nettW] ** The words ' in dock, out nettle,* allude, 

£«£(T AT&lLli'i Ftlier, aad Cottnor. 
O. f. '.?. v^. cop! frcsb booties, — gentlefolkt. 

hu.. (ist- Aa i^natiibroi a tmnbrrl. 
\>',3. Ilow * gire me one word among«t jrou, tlial 
I tbkv b* dotn^ too. 

A Ik. Yonder tliey ve again ! O guil tineas. 

I tifliftr, u> ■ prlctke itill ■amEtiinn found among children, 
iif Uyifitr ihfr l»«r or tht buiier-dock upon > place that hu 
Iwrn «un|{ bjr a nctllc. and repealing, ai a kind of chann, the 
Itiir'lK ' in dtmk, ixl nrllle,' M long a* the application if con- 
linui'd." EdiloroflHIS.— CompareSirThomaiMoTCj "ud 
tliua pliyv in and out, like in (forte oul tulle that no man 
aliMil'lc wyiic whan they were In and whan Ihey were oute." 
Ilortri, }.',i7, M. HOO. In OUT lexi ibe worda are uaed wiib 
■DitiP |iiiiiiiin;r alluiion. 

■■ .i,r»h\ Sec now, p.**. 

' ranirr] C'uinpare vol. 11. pp. C36, S39. 


Thou putt'st more trembling fear into a maid 
Than the first wedding-night. Take courage, wench, 
Thy face cannot betray thee with a blush now. 

Fath. Which way she took her flight, sir, none 
can guess, 
Or bow she *scap*d. 

Gov. Out at some window certainly. 
Fath. O, *tis a bold daring baggage I 
Gov. See, good fortune, sir. 
The gipsies ! they re the cunning'st people living. 
Fath. They cunning? what a confidence have 
you, sir ! 
No wise man's faith was ever set in fortunes. 
Gov. You're the wilfull'st man against all learning 
I will be hang'd now, if I hear not news of her 
Amongst this company. 

Fath. You are a gentleman of the flatt'ring'st 
That e'er lost woman yet. 
Gov. Come hither, gipsy. 

AuR. Luck now, or I'm undone. [^Aside,'] — What 
says my master ? 
Bless me with a silver cross,*" 
And I will tell you all your loss. 

Gov. Lo you there, sir ! all my loss ; at first word 
There is no cunning in these gipsies now ? 
Fath. Sure I'll hear more of this. 
Gov. Here's silver for you. [Gtoe* money. 

AuR. Now attend your fortune's story : 
You lov'd a maid. 
Gov. Right. 

' (rots'] i. e. silver coin : see note, vol. i. p. 246. 
VOL. III. 3 o 

G. Caf. Owr MoU MmtOt Aigk, mf Imya. 
Dm. Om M^cA am^ta %i, mg l«j«. 


G. Cap. Let every gipsy 

Dance with his doxy. 
And then drink, drink for jay. 
Don. Let every gipsy 

Dance with his doxy. 
And then drink, drink for joy. 
Chorus. And then drink, drink for joy, 

[^Exeunt with a strange wild-fashioned dance to 
the hautboys or comets. 


An apartment in the house of the Duchess. 
Enter Duchess, Cardinal, Lords, and Celia. 

Car. That which is merely call'd a will in woman, 
I cannot always title it with a virtue. 

DucH. O good sir, spare me ! 

Car. Spare yourself, good madam ; 
Extremest justice is not so severe 
To great offenders, as your own forc'd strictness 
To beauty, youth, and time ; you'll answer for't. 

DucH. Sir, settle your own peace ; let me make 

Car. But here's a heart must pity it, when it 
thinks on*t ; 
I find compassion, though the smart be yours. 

First Lord. None here but does the like. 

Sec. Lord. Believe it, madam. 
You have much wrong'd your time. 

First Lord. Nay, let your grace 
But think upon the barrenness of succession. 

Sec Lord. Nay, more, a vow enforced. 

DucH. What, do you all 
Forsake me then, and take part with yon man ? 


Not one friend haye^I left ? 3o they all figliL 
"^AjoderTIl* injtlonmia banneF~orhis censure,' 
^Sw»feTi^ef^Wy^pinion ? 
^"■^SiL^ Sowliran, maSani, 
WluMe jiidgmt^nis can but taste a rigfatful caiue; 
I look for more force yet ; aayj _your ow n woafli ' 
, Will shonly rise aga ioat you, wheq ^th fy !"" ■ 
y Thf w ar to be ^g j ust and lio D Oura ble 

y As marriage is ; you cannoi name that wonun 
^^^'WilTnot come ready arm'd for such a cause; > 
Can chastity be any whit impair'd 
By that which makes it perfect? answer, mulami 
Do you profess constancy, and yet live alone T \ 
How can that hold T you're constant then to noW 
That's a dead virtue ; goodness must hare ptactia 
Or else it ceases ; then is wnman said 
To be love-chasie, knowinj; but one man's bed : 
A mipbtv Tirlue! beside, fruilfcilness 
Is pan oV the salvation of your sex ; 
And the true use of wedlock's time and space 
Is woman's exercise for faith and grace. 
IlLtiJ. O, what have you done, n,y lor.l .' 
Cak. Laid llie way pJain 
To knowledge of yourself and your creation ; 
Unbound a forced vow, that was but knit 
By the stranjie jealousy of your dying lord. 
Sinful i' ih' fastening. 

Dicii. All the powers of constancy 
Will curse you for this deed ! 

Cab. Vou speak in pain, madam, 
And so 1 take your words, like one tn sickness 
That rails at his best friend : I know a change 
Of disposition has a violent working 
In all of us ; "lis fit it should have time 

t] i. e. judgment. 


And counsel with itself: may you be fruitful, 

In all the blessings of an honour'd love ! ' 

First Lord. In all your wishes fortunate, — and I 
The chief of 'em myself! [Aside, 

Car. Peace be at your heart, lady ! 

First Lord. And love, say I. [Aside. 

Car. We'll leave good thoughts now to bring in 
themselves. [Exit with Lords, 

• Ducii. O, there's no art like a religious cunning; 
It carries away all things smooth before it ! 
How subtlely has his wit dealt with the lords. 
To fetch in their persuasions to a business' 
That stands in need of none, yields of itself, 
As most we women do, when we seem farthest. 
But little thinks the cardinal he's requited ' 

After the same proportion of deceit 
As he sets down for others. 

Enter Page} 

O, here's the pretty boy he preferr'd to me ; 

I never saw a meeker, gentler youth, 

Yet made for man's beginning : how unfit 

Was that poor fool to be Lactantio's page ! 

He would have spoil'd him quite ; in one year 

utterly ; 
There had been no hope of him. — Come hither, 

child ; 
I have forgot thy name. 
Page. Antonio, madam. 
DucH. Antonio ? so thou toldst me. I must chide 

Why didst thou weep when thou cam'st first to 

serve me ? , 

' Page] See note, p. 562. 


Page. At the distrust of mine own merits, madam, 
Knowing I was not born to those deserts 
To please so great a mistress. 

DucH. 'Las, poor boy, 
That's nothing in thee but thy modest fear, 
Which makes amends faster than thou canst err. — 
It shall be my care to have him well brought up 
As a youth apt for good things. — Celia. 

Celia. Maidam ? 

DucH. Has he bestow'd his hour to-day for 
music ? 

Celia. Yes, he has, madam. 

DucH. How do you find his voice ? 

Celia. A pretty, womanish, faint, sprawling" 
voice, madam, 
But 'twill grow strong in time, if he take care 
To keep it when he has it from fond^ exercises. 

DucH. Give order too the dancing-schoolmaster 
Observe an hour with him. 

Celia. It shall be done, lady : 
He is well made for dancing ; thick i' th' chest, 

madam ; 
He will turn long and strongly. 

DucH. He shall not be behind a quality 
That aptness in him or our cost can purchase ; 
And see he lose no time. 

Celia. Til take that order, madam. 

Page. Singing and dancing ! 'las, my case is 
worse ! 
I rather need a midwife and a nurse. 

\_Asidey and exit with Celia. 

Ducii. Lactantio, my procurer, not return'd yet ? 
His malice I have fitted with an office 

^ sprawling] ** As applied to the voice seems devoid of 
meaning ; perhaps we should read squalling.** £ditor of 1816. 

^' fond] i. e. foolish. 


Which he takes pleasure to discharge with rigour. 
He comes, and with him my heart's conqueror ; 
^y pleasing thraldom's near. 

Enter Lactantio with Andruoio and Guard, 

And. Not know the cause ? 

Lac. Yes, you shall soon do that now, to the ruin 
Of your neck-part, or some nine years' imprison- 
You meet with mercy, and'' you 'scape with that; 
Beside your lands all begg'd and seiz'd upon ; 
That's admirable favour. Here's the duchess. 

DucH. O sir, you're welcome ! 

Lac Marry, bless me still 
From such a welcome ! 

DucH. You are hard to come by. 
It seems, sir, by the guilt of your long stay. 

And. My guilt, good madam ? 

DucH. Sure y'had much ado 
To take him, had you not ? speak truth, Lactantio, 
And leave all favour ; were you not in danger ? 

Lac Faith, something near it, madam : he grew 
Furious and fierce ; but 'tis not my condition^ 
To speak the worst things of mine enemy, madam, 
Therein I hold mine honour : but had fury 
Burst into all the violent storms that ever 
PJay'd over anger in tempestuous man, 
I would have brought him to your grace's presence. 
Dead or alive. 

DucH. You would not, sir ? 

And. What pride 
Of pamper'd blood has mounted up^ this puck-foist ?' \ 

"* and] i. e. if. *■ condition] See note, p. 292. ^ 

r up] Old ed. " up to." 

* puck'/oist] i. e. " a sort of mushroom filled with dust" 
Editor of 1816. 


If any way, uncoutisell'd ormy judgme 

My ignorance Kns slept into some erro . ^ 

Which I could beanily cune, and so brougbt c 

Your grnM ilispleniuro, let me feci my » 
In the l\i\\ wriglil of justic^i virtuous madam, ^ 
And Id ii wake me tUroiiglily : but, cliaste U 
Out of the bouniy of your grace, pennit not 1 
, TLisperfiiin'ij_parce1 of curl'd powiler'd tuur4 

DocTt. It sliaTl not need, good sir ; we'BTr mmaf 
Of power Kuflicieiit to judge you j ne'er doubt it, 

Withdraw, LaciantJo : carefully place your guard 
I' the next room. 

Lac. You will but fare the worse ; 
You see your niceness' spoils you; yoiiTl go 
now ~ 

To (eel your sin indeed. 

[^Exit Lactahtio viih t 

AlXD, Hell-moutli be with thee ! 
Was ever malice seen yet to gnpe wider 
For man's misfortunes 7 

DucH. First, sir, I sliould tliinb 
You could not he so impudent to deny 
What your own knowledge proves to you. 

And. That were a sin, madam, 
More gross than flattery spent upon a villaiw 

DucM. Your own confession dooms 

Akd. Why, madam! 

DutH. Do not you know I made a s 
At my lord's death, never to marry more ? 

Aso. That's a truth, madam, I'm a wiuea 

Ducii. Is'tao, sir? you'll be taken preseDtj 

■ Bicrwijj 

* Bicrwijj See ni 

■, p. 431. 


This man needs no accuser. Knowing so much, 
How durst you then attempt so bold a business 
As to solicit me, so strictly settled, 
With tempting letters and loose lines of love ? 

And. Who ? I do't, madam ? 

DucH. Sure the man will shortly 
Deny he lives, although he walks and breath[es.] 

And. Better destruction snatch me quick from 
Of human eyes, than I should sin so boldly ! 

DucH. 'Twas well I kept it then from rage or fire, 
For my truth's credit. Look you, sir ; read out ; 
You know the hand and name. [^Gives letter. 

And. [reads] Andrusio! 

DucH. And if such things be fit, the world shall 

And. Madam 

DucH. Pish, that's not so ; it begins otherwise ; 
Pray, look again, sir ; how you'd slight your know- 
ledge ! 

And. By all the reputation I late won 

DucH. Nay, and* you dare not read, sir, I am 

And. Read? [reads] Most fair duchess* 

DucH. O, have you found it now ? 
There's a sweet flattering phrase for a beginning ! 
You thought belike that would overcome me. 

And. I, madam ? 

DucH. Nay, on, sir ; you are slothful. 

And. [reads] The report of your vow shall not fear 

DucH. No? are you so resolute? 'tis well for 
you, sir. 

And. [reads] I knorv you*re but a woman 

• anef] i. e. if. 


DucH. Well, what then, sir ? 
And. [reads] And what a woman m, a wise num 

DucH. Let h im know wh at he can, he's glad to 

get us. ' 

And. [reads'] Perhaps my condUion^ may seem Idunt 
to you 

DucH. Well, we find no fault with your hlunt- 

And. [reads] But no man*s love can be more sharp 

DucH. Ay, there's good stuff now! 

And. [reads] And I know desires in both sexes 
have skill at that weapon, 

DucH. Weapon ? 
You begin like a flatterer, and end like a fencer. 
Are these fit lines now to be sent to us ? 

And. Now, by the honour of a man, his truth, 
My name's abus'd ! 

DucH. Fie, fie, deny your hand ? 
I will not deny mine ; here, take it freely, sir, 
And with it my true constant heart for ever : 
I never disgraced man that sought my favour. 

And. What mean you, madam ? 

DucH. To requite you, sir ; 
By courtesy I hold my reputation. 
And you shall taste it. Sir, in as plain truth 
As the old time walked in, when love was simple 
And knew no art nor guile, I affect you ; 
My heart has made her choice ; I love you, sir. 
Above my vow : the frown that met you first 
Wore not the livery of anger, sir, 
But of deep policy ; I made your enemy 

*» condition} See note, p. 292. 


The instrument for all ; there you may praise me, 
And 'twill not be ill given. 

And. Here's a strange language ! 
The constancy of love bless me from learning on*t, 
Although ambition would soon teach it others ! 

Madam, the service of whole life is yours ; 

DucH. Enough ! thou'rt mine for ever. — Within, 
there ! 

Re-enter Lactantio with Guard, 

Lac Madam? 

DucH. Lay hands upon him ; bear him hence ; 
See he be kept close prisoner in our palace. — 
The time's not yet ripe for our nuptial solace. 

[^Aside, and exit. 

Lac This you could clear yourself! 

And. There's a voice that wearies me 
More than mine own distractions. 

Lac You are innocent ! 

And. I've not a time idle enough from passion^ 
To give this devil an answer. O, she's lost ! 
Curs'd be that love by which a better's crost ! 
There my heart's settl'd. \^Aside. 

Lac How is he disgrac'd, 
And I advanc'd in love ! faith, he that can 
Wish more to his enemy is a spiteful man. 
And worthy to be punish'd. {^Exeunt. 

* piution] L e. grief. 



An apartment in the house of the Duchess, 

Enter Celia, Pagef and Crotchet. 

Celia. Sir, I'm of that opinion ; being kept hard 
In troth I think he'll take his prick-song well. 
Crot. [sings^ Gf sol, re, ut; you guess not right, 
Mistress, you'll find you're in an error straight. — 
Come on, sir, lay the books down. — You shall see 
Page. Would I'd an honest caudle next my heart ! 
-. Let who** would sol fa, I'd give them my part. 

In troth methinks r\^e a great longing in me 
'_To bite a pTi^ce^ of themusiciaIlVhosej>ff; 
But I'll rather ~" 

Lose my longing than spoil the poor man's singing : 
The very tip will serve my turn, methinks, 
If I could get it ; that he mi^ht well spare, 
His nose is of the lon^esU O, my back ! [Aside, 
Crot. You shall hear that. — Rehearse your gamut, 

Page. Who'd be thus toil'd for love, and want 
the joy? [Aside. 

Crot. Why, when !® begin, sir : I must stay your 

leisure ? 
Page. Gamut [^m^*], o, re, b, me^ &c. 
Crot. [sings'] Eela: aloft! above the clouds, my 

Page. It must be a better note than e/a,' sir, 

«= Page] Sec note, p. 562. ** who] Old ed. " whose." 

* Whyy ivhen] See note, p. 164. 

' ela] i. e. the highest note in the scale of music. 


That brings musicians thither ; they're too hasty, 
The most part of 'em, to take such a journey, 
And must needs fall by th' way. 

Crot. How many cliffs be there ? 

Page. One cliff, sir. 

Crot. O intolerable heretic 
To voice and music ! do you know but one cliff? 

Page. No more, indeed, I, sir ; — and at this time 
I know too much of that. [Aside, 

Crot. How many notes be there ? 

Page. Eight, sir. — I fear me I shall find nine 
To my great shame and sorrow. O my stomach ! 


Crot. Will you repeat your notes then ? I must 
sol fa you ; 
Why, when,' sir ? 

Page. A large, a long,^ a breve, a semibreve, 
A minim, a crotchet, a quaver, a semiquaver. 

Crot. O, have you found the way ? 

Page. Never trust me 
If I've not lost my wind with naming of 'em ! 


Crot. Come, boy, your mind's upon some other 
thing now ; 
Set to your song. 

Page. Was ever wench so punish'd ? [Aside, 

' Whyt when] See note, p. 164. 

9 A larger a Umg] Characters in old music— one large con- 
tained two longs, one long two breves. — ^The editor of 1816 
observes, that he does not remember to have seen the name 
of the first note any where else ; it is not, however, a very 
uncommon word ; 

" But with a large and a longe, 
To kepe iust playne-songe, 
Our chaunters sbalbe the Cuckoue," &c. 

Skelton's Phyllyp Sparowe, 

VOL. III. 3 H 



Cbot. r«'nwl Ut,— 

come, begin. 


at., [sing)] Ut, m 

. «,/a. .d. la. 


OT. Keep lime, y 

u foolish boy. 


like you this, madoDDsT | 


UA. Pretty; 



ill do well in tim 

, being kept under. 1 


ot. ni make his 

ache else. 

ears sore and his knuckln 


LiA. And that's 
goodness, sir. 

the way to bring a boj W 


OT- There's many 

now wax'd proper geoilemw 


n 1 have tiipp'd 

th' ear, wench ; that'i hj 

^L Come, sing me over the last song I taught yoa; ' 

■ Yo.. 

re perfect in that sure ; look you keep timt 



Or here I 11 nolcli your faults up. Sol, iol ; [mpil 
bepin, boy. [Swig. 

Celia. So, you've done well, sir. 
Here comes the dancing- master now ; you're di»- 

Enter Sisau apace. 
SiNQ. O, signor Crotchet, O! 
Crot. a minim rest. 
Two cliffs, and a semibreve. In the name 
Of alamire.i what's the matter, sir? 

SiNQ. The horriblost disaster that ever disgrawil 
the lofty cunning of a dancer. 

Chot. [iings] B, fa, h, mi, — heaven forbid, man! 

• prick 
flourish B 
wiilicul OTiiamrnt. 

' Simg) See note. p. 383. 

' atamirt'} i. e. '■ the loweal note but aoe in Guido Arelino'i 
Kdle or miuic" Todd's John. Did. in v. 

- —7 


SiNQ. O — O — the most cruel fortune ! 

Crot. That semiquaver is no friend to you, 
That I must tell you ; 'tis not for a dancer 
To put his voice so hard to't ; every workman 
Must use his own tools, sir ; — de^fa^ sol, [sings] — 

man, dilate 
The matter to me. 

SiNQ. Faith, riding upon my foot-cloth,^ as I use 
to do, coming through a crowd, by chance I let fall 
my fiddle. 

Crot. [sings] Z)e, *o/, re : — ^your fiddle, sir ? 

SiNQ. O, that such an instrument should be 
made to betray a poor gentleman! nay, which is 
more lamentable, whose luck should it be to take 
up this unfortunate fiddle but a barber's prentice, 
who cried out presently, according to his nature. 
You trim gentleman on horseback, you*ve lost your 
Jiddle, your worship*s fiddle ! seeing me upon my 
foot- cloth, the mannerly coxcomb could say no 
less ; but away rid I, sir ; put my horse to a coranto 
pace,^ and left my fiddle behind me. 

Crot. [sings] De, la, sol, re. 

SiNQ. Ay, was*t not a strange fortune? an ex- 
cellent treble-viol ! by my troth, 'twas my master's 
when I was but a pumper, that is, a puller-on oi 
gentlemen's pumps. 

'Crot. [sings] C, c, sol, fa, — I knew you then, sir. 

SiNQ. But I make no question but I shall hear 
on't shortly at one broker's or another ; for I know 
the barber will scourse^ it away for some old 

J foot'dotK] See note, p. 197. 

^ coranto pace] i. e. a very swift pace : a coranto wa« a quick 
and lively dance. 

* tcouricl Or icorce — i. e. exchange. 

■ barber . . . cittern] See note, vol. i. p. 174, 


t«^j Etm, mi, — mj HJe &» jxm'i « 
M Mf M^cr ■ e li oh r ^, my bom ca&t I* 

I kSR 70- IB ^ 

^in TW brates" of ■ i 
}Ba,wtaiiC«0inaT]: and 

^s tdk win be fsnia niih 1 

BiliTvof K dsaeer! 
Hh ia the jiMih i btemaio Utile jri, 
ffii* p'itk wg rer? poorly : lie is one 
Hmi hme k pM iaio him ; somewhat duU. 1 

^nra. Ac itM are all u fim ; yon knon 'iwu 
Ert Toa IriiQ vour Jc.ubl<3. 

r« ii4. Ar. that's tme, sir; 
But I can tickle*i now. Fa, la, la. Sec 

[_Siiigt attd danta. 
Lcs TOO, bow like yon me now, sir ? 

Six«. Marry, pray for the founder, here be 

LoD^ may be live to receive quarterages. 

Go brave.' aitd pay his mercer nondrous duly, 

Ay. and his jealous laundress. 

That for the lore she bears bim starches yellow ;4 

Poor soul ! my own flesh knows 1 nTong her not. 

Come, metereia, once more shake your great hip« 

and your little heels, since you begin to fall in of 

- lanital] &ft now, \ol. L p. 261. 

■ iltuma] Or mrirrm — i», M N»rM obierTet (GIta, inv.), 
■ fori of FmtchiGcd Italiin, found in anr old dramituti. 
• Nil] Old «L ■' "Tu." ' frrsK] i, e, finely dreocd 

t itan*a yittv] See note*, pp. 134, 422. 


yourself, and dance over the end of the coranto' I 
taught you last night. 

Celia. The tune's clear out of my head, sir. 

SiNQ. A pox of my little usher! how long he 
stays too with the second part of the former fiddle ! 
Come, I'll iolfa it i' th' meantime : Fa^ /a, /a, /a, 
&c. \he sings while Celia dances,'] Perfectly ex- 
cellent ! I will make you fit to dance with the hest 
Christian gentleman in Europe, and keep time with 
him for his heart, ere I give you over. 

Celia. Nay, I know I shall do well, sir, and I 
am somewhat proud on't; hut 'twas my mother's 
fault, when she danced with the duke of Florence. 

SiNQ. Why, you will never dance well while you 
If you he not proud. I know that hy myself; 
I may teach my heart out, if you've not the grace 
To follow me. 

Celia. I warrant you for that^ sir. 

SiNQ. Gentlewomen that are good scholars 
Will come as near their masters as they can ; 
I've known some lie with 'em for their better under- 
standing : 
I speak not this to draw you on, forsooth ; 
Use your pleasure ; if you come, you're welcome ; 
You shall see a fine lodging, a dish of comfits. 
Music, and sweet linen. 

Celia. And trust me, sir. 
No woman can wish more in this world, 
Unless it be ten pound in th' chamber- window, 
Laid ready in good gold against she rises. 

SiNQ. Those things are got in a morning, wench, 
with me. 

Celia. Indeed, I hold the morning the best time 
of getting ; 

' coranio"] See note, p. 627. 

6M voES ]>] 

Sd 9mv% vnr sister ; die^s s lawyer's wile, siTt 

And ^loiild know what bdongs to cases best. 

A fitter time for dui ; I mist not talk 

Toe IcH^ cf women^s maiie ii before boys. 

He's v>eTy raw, yon mnst take pains widi him. 

It i» tbe dncliess* mind it should be so ; 

She loves bim wdQ, I tell yon. [EjoL 

SnBo. How, lore him ! 
He s t€x» little for any 'woman's love i' th' town 
Bt tfaive bandfidk i' I wonder of a great woman 
Sh'^ns no more wit, f&ith ; one of my pitch 
WtTt somewhat tolerable. 

Enter Xicholao with a rioL 

O, are you come ? 
Wlio wonld be thcs plagued with a dandiprat usher ! 
H:^ir marv kirks do you deserve in conscience? 

« «r 

Xjc, Ycwir horse is safe, sir. 
Si>^. Xow I talk'd of kicking, 
Twa» well reiDerober'd ; is not the foot-cloth stoln 
Xk, More by good hap than any cunning, sir. 
WtMild aoy gentleman but you get a tailor*s son to 
w^Ik his horse, in this dear time of black velvet ? 
Sr!(Q. Troth, thou sayst true ; thy care has got 
thy pardon ; 
111 venmre so no more. — Come, ray young scholar, 
I'ln readv for vou now. 

PAt-r/ Abs," twill kill me ! 
Tm even as full of qualms as heart can bear : 
How shall 1 do to hold up ? {_Aside.'\ — Alas, sir, 
I can dance nothing but ill-fa vouredly, 
A strain or two of passa-roeasures galiiard!" 

' kamJ/mIZs'] Altered bj editor of 1816 to the more correct 
form " hands fiilL" 
* p<u$^-wteasmrrs gmUiard'\ A corruption of patiamezzo gal- 


SiNQ. Marry, you're forwarder than I conceiv'd 
A toward stripling. — Enter him, Nicholao ; 
For the fooFs bashful, as they're all at first, 
Till they be once well enter'd. 

Nic. Passa-measures, sir ? 

SiNQ. Ay, sir, I hope you hear me. — Mark him 
now, boy. — 
[Nicholao dances, while Sinquapace plays. 
Ha, well done ! excellent boy! dainty, fine springall* 
The glory of Dancers' Hall, if they had any ! 
And of all professions they'd most need of one. 
For room to practise in, yet they have none. 
O times ! O manners I you have very little : 
Why should the leaden-heel'd plumber have his hall, 
And the light-footed dancer none at all ? 
But fartuna della guerra,^ things must be ; 
We're born to teach in back-houses and nooks, 
Garrets sometimes, where't rains upon our books. — 
Come on, sir ; are you ready ? first, your honour. 

Hard. '* The Passamezzo,** says Sir John Hawkins, " (from 
p€u$er, [passare?'] to^walk, and mezzo, the middle or half,) 
is a slow dance, little differing from the action of walking. 
As a galliard consists of five paces or bars in the first strain, 
and is therefore called a cinque-pace, the passamezzot which 
is a diminutive of the galliard, has just half that number, and 
from that peculiarity takes its name." HitL of Music, vol. iv. 
p. 886. In another place of the same work, vol. ii. p. 134, 
Sir John states that *' every pavan has its galliard, a lighter 
kind of air made out of the former," which, observes Nares 
(Glosi, in V. Pavan), " leads to the suspicion that patty ^mea- 
sure pavan and passy-mgature galliard were correlative terms, 
and meant the two different measures of one dance." 

* boy I dainty, fine epringal!"] Old ed. ** Bovs — Dtdnty fine 
Springals;" but here Nicholao is the only dancer: and so 
afterwards (p. 633), when he again dances, Sinquapace ex- 
claims " dainty stripling !" — Springal, i. e. youth, lad. 

* fortuna delta guerra"] Old ed. " Fortune de la guardo." 
Editor of 1816 gives *' fortune de la guerre." 


V\at. rtl nish no foe a (ireater cross apon ber. 
[v^fiiJc — Ihcn makct a eartiy. 
SiKO. Curtsy, heyd«y! run to liim, NichoLgto: 
By thii lighi, he'll shame me ; he makes curtsy 
like a ehainbennaid. 
Nic. Why, what do you mean, page ? are yOD 
mad ? did you ever see a boy begin a dance and 
make curtsy like a wench before ? 

Paob. Troth, I wbd thinking of another tliingt 
And ([uilB forgot myself; 1 pray, forgive roe, sir. 
SiNQ. Come, make amends then now with a good 
And dance it sprightly. [Playi, while Page dimett,] 

What a beasdy leg 
Has he made there now ! it would vex one's heart 

Now begin, boy.— O, O, O, O 1 &c." Open thy 
knees ; wider, wider, wider, wider : did you ewr 
see a boy dance clenched up ? he needs a pick*lock : 
out upon thee for an arrant ass ! an arrant aH ! I 
shall lose my credit by thee ; a pestilence on thee ! 
— Here, boy, hold the viol [gkei the viol loSrcuoi^KO, 
who plays trhifji Page proccaU to daiii:r\ ; let tne 
come to him : I shall get more diaf;race by thia 
tittle monkey now than by all the ladies that ever 
I taught. — Come on, sir, now; cast thy leg out 
from thee ; lift it up aloft, boy ; a pox, his kneet 
are soldered together, they're sewed together: 
canst not stride ? O, I could eat thee up, I could 
eat thee up, and begin upon thy hinder quartn. 
thy hinder quarter ! I shall never teach this hot 
without a screw ; his knees must be opened wiui 
a vice, or there's no good to be done upon him. 
Who taught you to dance, boy? 

Page. It is but little, sir, that ! can do. 

■ ij-c] See note, vol. i. p. 262. 


SiNQ. No, ril be sworn for you. 
Page. And that signor Laurentio taught me, sir. 
SiNQ. Signor Laurentio was an arrant coxcomb, 
And fit to teach none but white bakers' children 
To knead their knees together. You can turn above 
ground, boy ? 
Page. Not I, sir ; my turn 's rather under ground. 
SiNQ. We'll see what you can do ; I loye to try 
What's in my scholars the first hour I teach them.- - 
Shew him a close trick now, Nicholao. 

[NicHOLAO dances while Sinquapace plays. 
Ha, dainty stripling ! — Come, boy. 

Page. 'Las, not I, sir ; 
I'm not for lofly tricks, indeed I am not, sir. 
SiNQ. How ? such another word, down goes your 

hose,^ boy. 
Page. Alas, 'tis time for me to do any thing then ! 

[^Attempts to dance^ and falls donm. 
StNQ. Heyday, he's down! — Is this your lofty 

trick, boy ? 
Nic. O master, the boy swoons ! he's dead, I fear me. 
SiNQ. Dead ? I ne'er knew one die with a lofty 
trick before. — 
Up, sirrah, up ! 

Page. A midwife ! run for a midwife ! ^ 

SiNQ. A midwife ? by this light, the boy's with \ 
A miracle ! some woman is the father. 
The world's turn'd upside down : sure if men breed. 
Women must get ; one never could do both yet. — 
No marvel you danc'd close- knee 'd the sinqua- 
pace.^ — 
Put up my fiddle, here's a stranger case. 

[^Exit Sinquapace, leading out Page. 

^ hosel i. e. breeches. 

^ iinquapace'i Properly cinque^paee: see note, p. 681. 


Nic. That 'tis, FU swear ; 'twill make the duchess 
wonder : 
I fear me 'twill bring dancing out of request. 
And hinder our profession for a time. 
Your women that are closely got with child 
Will put themselves clean out of exercise. 
And will not venture now, for fear of meeting 
Their shames in a coranto,^ 'specially 
If they be near their time. Well, in my knowledge, 
If that should happen, we are sure to lose 
Many a good waiting-woman that's now o'er shoes. 
Alas the while ! [£xtt 


Another apartment in the house of the Dttchess, 

Enter Duchess and Celia. 

DucH. Thou tell'st me things are enemies to rea- 
I cannot get my faith to entertain 'em. 
And I hope never shall. 

Celia. *Tis too true, madam. 

DucH. I say 'tis false : 'twere better th'hadst 
been dumb 
Than spoke a truth so unpleasing ; thou shalt get 
But little praise by't : he whom we affect 
To place his love upon so base a creature ! 

Celia. Nay, ugliness itself; you'd say so, madam, 
If you but saw her once ; a strolling gipsy ; 
No Christian that is born a hind could love her ; 
She's the sun's masterpiece for tawniness ; 
Yet have I seen Andrugio's arms about her. 
Perceived his hollow whisperings in her ear, 
His joys at meeting her. 

^ coranto] See note, p. 627. 


DucH. What joy could that be ? 

Celia. Such, madam, I have seldom seen it 

equaird ; 
He kis8*d her with that greediness of affection, 
As if her' lips had been as red as yours ; % 

I look'd still when he would be black in mouth, I (,^ 
Like boys with eating hedge-berries; nay, more,/ 

madam, / 

He brib*d one of his keepers with ten ducats 
To find her out amongst a flight of gipsies. 

DucH. ril have that keeper hang*d, and you for 

malice ; 
She cannot be so bad as you report. 
Whom he so firmly loves ; you're false in much. 
And I will have you tried : go, fetch her to us. 

{Exit Celia. 
He cannot be himself, and appear guilty 
Of such gross folly; has an eye of judgment. 
And that will overlook him. This wench fails 
In understanding service ; she must home, 
Live at her house i* th' country ; she decays 
In beauty and discretion. — 

Re-enter Celia, with Aurelia disguised as a gipsy. 

Who hast brought there ? 

Celta. This is she, madam. 

DucH. Youth and whiteness bless me ! 
It is not possible : he talk*d sensibly 
Within this hour ; this cannot be : how does he ? 
I fear me my restraint has made him mad. 

Celia. His health is perfect, madam. 

DucH. You are perfect 
In falsehood still ; he's certainly distracted. 
Though I'd be loath to foul my words upon her, 

« her] Old ed. " his." 

BlMBI«Bliik A 




r f ofc ai i %ad n m n iml>i m 

Aa4 *• OT yncs k »oUe aMboiooi 
* fi«t M it w, 'Ui ■■MiiBBi Bbon Ibny. 
Look W W Bad iodrrd. and tbrasghlj g 
Or be (ajB deai I7 Ibr ii 1 it if Dot 
The orrfiMf7 iMdnrn or ■ gendemko 
T <^pri ^ ] L c MTElr— AoteIii i&«ciiig • 


That shall excuse him here ; had better lose 
His wits eternally than lose my grace : 
So strange is the condition of his fall, 
He*s safe in nothing but in loss of all. 
He comes : 

Enter Amdrugio rvUh Celia. 

Now by the fruits of all my hopes, 
A man that has his wits cannot look better I 
It likes 7 me well enough ; there's life in's eye, 
And civil health in*s cheek ; he stands with judg- 
And bears his body well. What ails this man ? 
Sure I durst venture him 'mongst a thousand ladies, 
Let 'em shoot all their scoffs, which makes none 

But their own waiting-women, and they dare do no 
otherwise. [^Aside. 

Come nearer, sir: — I pray keep further off, 
Now I remembec you. 

And. What new trick's in this now ? [Aside. 
DucH. How long have you been mad, sir ? 
And. Mad ? a great time, lad y ; 
S ince I first knew I slioulJnot sin, yet sinn'd ; 
xhat's n ow some"T Hirty years J6y3adyi* upwards. 
DucH. 'rhis naan~~5peaks reason won^trouffwel- 
Enough to teach the rudest soul good manners. 

You cannot be excus'd with lightness now. 
Or frantic fits ; you're able to instruct, sir, 
And be a light to men. If you have errors. 
They be not ignorant in you, but wilful. 
And in that state I seize on 'em. Did I 
Bring thee acquainted lately with my heart, 

y likes'] i. e. pleases. * bffrladyl See note, p. 9. 

VOL. III. 3 I 

■pir-.mri rrxirrii ^xrzadioa : br tor bopn 
r»? :n-r; »zii sMrrr, =*rt a no Rich lore 

I>:':3. N>' :»= Toa caniMt fl* m«. — Fet^ bn 
smrk. 3^xii CtU4- 

Asii zZfC'z^, :?:< I'^^t of oer <!up!case mtnr eT« 
Wjcte i»i :a" offsn»;»'« cbjcc: earth utd luiiiiv 
C*E pr*ic^: :» ai. f« f.w trvih*! probuioa 
We •ii; eadsrtt coeuntfalty. 

X<-«»:^r Celu with ArKELU n J^ nr« ifrvu- 
What DowF 
Art thoa return 'd sitbout her ? 

Asz. No, madam ; this is she my peace dwells in: 
It* h'rTt be either baseness of descent, 
RudeneM of manoers, or deformity 
Id face or bshion, I have lost, 1*11 jield it ; 
Tax me leverelr, madam. 

DccH. 'fo Celia^ How thon stand's!, 
Ai dumb at the salt-pillar ! (there's this gipsj t 

[Cecia poitiU to AcKELU. 
What, no f I cannot blame ihce then for silence ; 
N'ww I'm confounded too, and take part with tbee. 


AuR. Your pardon and your pity, virtuous 
madam : [^Kneels. 

Cruel restraint, joined with the power of love, 
Taught me that art ; in that disguise I 'scap*d 
The hardness of my fortunes ; you that see 
What love's force is, good madam, pity me ! 

And. Your grace has ever been the friend of 
And here *tis set before you. [Kneels. 

DucH. I confess 
I have no wrong at all ; she's younger, fairer ; 
He has not now dishonour*d me in choice ; 
I much commend his noble care and judgment: 
'Twas a just cross led in by a temptation. 
For offering but to part from my dear vow, 
And I'll embrace it cheerfully. [Asidcl — Rise, both ; 

[Andrugio and Aurelia rise. 
The joys of faithful marriage ,bless your souls ! 
I will not part you. 

And. Virtue's crown be yours, madam ! 

Enter Lactantio. 

AuR. O, there appears the life of all my wishes ! 

Is your grace pleas'd, out of your bounteous goodness 
To a poor virgin's comforts, I shall freely 
Enjoy whom my heart loves ? 

DucH. Our word is past ; 
Enjoy without disturbance. 

AuR. There, Lactantio, 
Spread thy arms open wide, to welcome her 
That has wrought all this means to rest in thee. 

And. Death of my joys ! how's this ? 

Lac. Prithee, away, fond fool ; hast no shame in 
Thou'rt bold and ignorant, whatever thou art. 


Ann. Wtiaie'er I am? do not you know me thenl 

Lau. Yes, fof some waJtiug-vessel ; but tbe limw 

Are cbaiig'il with me, if y'bad t)ie grace lo know 

I look'd fur more respect ; I am not spoke wttbal 
Af^r this rale, I tell you ; learn hereafter 
To know what bclon){s to me ; you shall see 
All the court teach you ihorlly. Farewell, manner*. 

Di!cn. I'll mark the event of this. [Jtide. 

AcR. 1 have undone myself 
Two ways at once ; lost a great deal of time, 
And now I'm like to lose more. O my fortune! 
1 was nineteen yesletday, and partly vow'd 
To have a child by twenty, if not twain: 
To see bow maids are crossM ! but I'm pbgn'd 

justly ; 
And she that makes a fool of her first love. 

Let her ne'er look to prosper. [-Vsufc.] — Sit 

[To AnDRCtiro. 

Akd. O falsehood ! 

Auk. Have you forgiveoeBs in you ? there's more 
hope of me 
Than of a maid that never yei ofiended. 

And, Make me your property?* 

AuR. I'll promise you 
I'll never make you worse ; and, sir, you know 
There are worse things for women to make men. 
But, by my hope of children, and all lawful, ^^h 
I'll be as true for ever to your bed ^^^H 

As she in thought or deed that never err'tl. ^^^| 

■ property'] Id ShirUye Wtddimg (H'srAi, vol. i. n. Htfr 
" property of your lust" ii explained Yn Gifford, '■ JifgiaiM, 
cloak liir it." la Ibe preaent puiage, tlierrron:, it may inen 
" the cloak for your love to LaclBulia i" but I believe it ■)(- 
niliea noihing more tban — a thing i« u» ui will Tor your cod- 
vtmicnce : coupirc p. £9S, L 14. 


And. I'll once believe a woman, be't but to 
Weak faith in other men : T have a love 
That covers all thy faults. 

Enter Cardinal and Lords. 

Car. Nephew, prepare thyself 
With meekness and thanksgiving to receive 
Thy reverend fortune : amongst all the lords. 
Her close affection now makes choice of thee. 

Lac. Alas, I'm not to learn to know that now ! 
Where could she make choice here, if I weremissiQEl 
Twould trouble the whole state, and puzzle 'em all, 
To find out such another. 

Car. 'Tis high time, madam, 
If your grace please, to make election now : 
Behold, they're all assembled. 

DucH. What election? 
You speak things strange to me, sir. 

Car. How, good madam 7 

DucH. Give me your meaning plainly, like a 
father ; 
You're too religious, sir, to deal in riddles. 

Cab. Is there a plainer way than leads to mar- 
riage, madam, 
And the man set before you 7 

DucH. O blasphemy 
To sanctimonious faith ! comes it from you, sir! 
An ill example ! know you what you apeak, 
Or who you are? is not my vow in place 7 
How dare you he so hold, sir ? Say a woman 
Were tempt with a temptation, must you presently 
Take all th' advantage on'tl 

Car. Is this in earnest, madam 7 

DucB. Heaven pardon you I jf you do not think 
so, sir. 



You've much to Bnaner for : but I nil! leave j 
Kctum I humbly nuw from nbcncr 1 fulL 
All yon blcsa'd powtTs that regiiicrr the vows I 
Of virijitiH and chustc mauons, look ou me 
With i-yea of mercy, spsl forgiveueiia to me 
By BigiiB of iawsril pence ! atul to be surer 
That 1 will Dever fail your good bo{)es of mc, I 
I bind niyaelf more strictly ; nil my riches 
I'll njieedily commend to holy uses. 
This temple'' unto some reli^^ious sanctuftry. 
Where all my time to come I will allow 
For ti-uilful thoughts ; bo knit I up my * 
L Ac. ^his ['t]is to hawk at eag j ea : po »jifg 

It lays ajnan i' tl t^jj^re stilLJ lke a j aife , 

1 hat tiaB~too. mai »y tn^a, a nd n e'er a good oM 
~Tmust~gape high! I'm in a sweet case n< 
I nas sure of one, and now I've lost her 

Dticit. I know, my lord, all that great stut* 

Is for your kinsman ; he's provided for 
According to his merits. 

Car. How's that, good madam t 
Dfjcfi. Upon the firmness of my faith, it's 
sir : 

Eater Page' in a female drest. 
See, here's the gentlewoman ; ilie match wna nude 
Near forty weeks ago : he knows the time, sir, 
Better than I can till him, and the poor gentle- 

* Itmpit] " By ' this temple' ii mmnl ber petaon : the t: 
pr«8«ion ii Ukcn from Scripture, but is rather too sulemn f 
[he Dacaoion." Editor eS tSI6. 

' Pagt] See note, n. 662 : ihc enlcn, probably, on tgn 
sign ifiven by ibe iluehcss. The old ed. Iiui no El 


Better than he ; 

But being religious, sir, and fearing you, 
He durst not own her for his wife till now ; 
Only contracted with her in man's apparel. 
For the more modesty, because he was bashful, 
Arfd never could endure the sight of woman, 
For fear that you should see^ her : this was he 
Chose for my love, this page preferred to me. 

Lac I'm paid with mine own money. [Aside. 

Car. Dare hypocrisy. 
For fear of vengeance, sit so close to virtue ? 

SlWrfttthniii_ft hftly vp^tnipnt from rpl igjon | ^^ 

'o^iothe forbidden lust with ? th* open villain ** I 
Goes before thee to mercy, and his penitency 
Is bless'd with a more sweet and quick return. 
I utterly disclaim all blood in thee ; 
ril sooner make a parricide my heir 
Than such a monster. — O, forgive me, madam ! 
The apprehension of the wrong to you 
Has a sin's weight at it. I forget all charity 
When I but think upon him. 

DucH. Nay, my lord. 
At our request, since we are pleas'd to pardon, 
And send remission to all former errors. 
Which conscionable justice now sets right. 
From you we expect patience ; has had punishment 
Enough in his false hopes ; trust me he has, sir ; 
They have requited his dissembling largely : 
And to erect your falling goodness to him. 
We'll begin first ourself ; ten thousand ducats 
The gentlewoman shall bring out of our treasure 
To make her dowry. 

Car. None has the true way 
Of overcoming anger with meek virtue. 
Like your compassionate grace. 

* villain] Old ed. " villainy." 


i/ .-^ 



Lac. Curse of this fortune ! this 'tis to meddle 
with takin g stu fi L whose J^lly ^cannioPhp nf>Tt(\nt^A 
in a wai^hitnd . \Agide,'] — Pray, what have you done 
with the breeches ? we shall have need of *ein shortly, 
and* we get children so fast ; they are too good to 
be cast away. My son and heir need not scorn to 
wear what his mother has left off. I had my for- 
tune told me by a gipsy seven years ago ; she said 
then I should be the spoil of many a maid, and at 
seven years' end marry a quean for my labour, 
which falls out wicked and true. 

DucH .^ We alj jiav^faults J look notjo much on 


Who lives i'th* world tha t never d id amiss ? — 

For you, Aurefia,r commend your choice. 

You've one after our heart ; and though your father 

Be not in presence, we'll assure his voice ; 

Doubt not his liking, his overjoying rather. — 

You, sir, embrace your own, *tis your full due ; 

No page serves me more that once dwells with you. 

O, they that search out man's intents shall find 

There's more dissemblers than of womankind.^ 

[^Exeunt omnes. 

* and'] i. e. if. 

' womankind'] Old ed. " women A:t»<2." 



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